words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is eyeing a beautiful woman at the counter, and Joey and Chandler are egging him on to go talk to her. No pun intended. I mean it.]
Chandler: Excuse me. (gets up, jumps up and down while he zips his zipper up... other patrons look at him) How ya doin'?
(Janice kisses him. Monica comes out for the newspaper.}
Susan: I thought they could...I'll try to get back as soon as I can. I'm sorry. (Ross realizes Kristin was expecting him to laugh, so he starts to laugh hysterically.)
(She kisses him passionately,then leaves.)
Ross: No! No, no, no, no, okay, it wasn't the swing's fault. It was my fault and kind of that (point to the kid that kicked him) kids fault. Who is still laughing. Nice.
Rachel: Chandler! Patrick just uh, ended things with me. Did you or did you not tell him that I was looking for a serious relationship?
Phoebe: Okay. There may be a way that we can get the other ring back. Cause I heard the guy tell the jeweler where he was going to propose. So maybe we can get him to trade rings or something.
Chandler: I know, And then all of the sudden your Mom pops into your head. And your like 'Mom, get outta here!' You know, but of course, like, after that you can't possibly think of anything else, and you can't, you know, stop what your doing. So it's kinda like, you're, you know. You know...(Ross just stares at him). You don't know!
Monica: It's easy! Just keep it casual! Give him a kind word, shake his hand and give him the money!
[Scene: Chandler's bedroom. Chandler is sleeping and Eddie is there watching him.]
Ross: No-no-no, a bunch of out of control jackets take over an island. (Makes an unusual sound, then he realises that he still has his jacket on and quickly tries to shake it off, thinking its alive and attacking him.)
(Ross starts to scream and run away. He stops in front of the window of Central Perk to check the pursuit and notices Phoebe and Rachel inside looking at him. He mouths, "What?" Then realizes that the women he attacked are closing in so he screams and runs away.)
Rachel: (She comforts him too) Oh, youre gonna be great!
RACHEL: Oh honey, are you jealous of Paolo? Oh, c'mon, I'm so much happier with you than I ever was with him.
Rachel: No, theres nothing to make up, shes gonna know that I have a key to her office, Ive got to get you locked up back the way you were! (She tries to drag him over to the chair, but Chandler stops her.)
Phoebe: But Monica, he loves his job so much! Can you just give him another chance? Please?
Ben: Jack? I hate him! Hes a jerk.
Monica: No, that's not it. It's just that when we were asking him all those questions before, I just... I just realized I don't care if he's the most perfect guy in the world... he's not you.
Parker: Oh well, at least you were lucky to have him. Bow-wow old friend, bow-wow. So wheres the party?
(He gets up to walk out, but Helena spots and stops him.)
Rachel: Good. Although yknow, he-hes a private guy. Yknow, I wish I could get him to open up a little bit, share some feelings.
Chandler: (answering for him) Yes he did.
Ross: (hugs him) And listen, man, if you wanna be gay, be gay. Doesn't matter to me.
Phoebe: I dunno, lets see! So, okay, I dreamt that we were gonna get married, and he left, becuz he had to go fight a fire. And, um, so okay, I went to a night club, and I saw him making out with a girl.
Rachel: (To Joey) No need!! Problem solved, we are powering through (At which point she grabs his hand and pulls him back to their apartment).
Rachel: (fake disappointment) All right. All right Phoebe I will let you have him, but you owe me; you owe me big!
Chandler: Yes, and we'd appreciate it if no one told him yet.
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, David has a cab waiting to take him to the airport and hes saying goodbye to Phoebe.]
Tommy: (entering, finished with yelling at Ross, who follows him in shell shocked) (happily) Hey!
[Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Ross is waiting for his blind date to show up. A waiter walks past him.]
Joey: (taking the baby) She looks so real! (The gang looks at him.) Yknow what I mean! Shes this whole tiny little person. She already has eyelashes and knees and uh-oh.
Chandler: Ross is smart and funny, d'you ever think that about him?
(Chandler busts out laughing and everyone just looks at him.)
ROSS: Hey, Rach, you know what? I think, I think I know what'll make you feel better. How 'bout you make a list about me. RACHEL: Wha... forget it Ross, no, I am not gonna stand here and make a list of. . . ROSS: C'mon Rachel. RACHEL: OK, you're whiney, you are, you're obsessive, you are insecure, you're, you're gutless, you know, you don't ever, you don't just sort of seize the day, you know. You like me for what, a year, you didn't do anything about it. And, uh, oh, you wear too much of that gel in your hair. ROSS: See there, you uhh, alright, ya, you did what I said. RACHEL: Yeah, and you know what? You're right, I do feel better, thank you Ross. [she walks off and Ross puts his hand to his hair] [Scene: Back at Phoebe's. She is on the phone] PHOEBE: Yeah, um, in Albany, can I have the number of Frank Buffay. . . OK, um, in Ithica. . . alright, um, Saratoga. . . Oneonta. Alright, you know what, you shouldn't call youself information. [hangs up] [Phoebe's grandmother enters] GRANDMOTHER: Hey. PHOEBE: Hello grandma, if that is in fact your real name. GRANDMOTHER: C'mon now Phoe, don't still be mad at me. How's it going? PHOEBE: Well, not so good. Upstate's pretty big, he's pretty small, you do the math. GRANDMOTHER: Well, I think you're better off without him. Oh honey, I know he's your daddy but, but to me he's still the irresponsible creep who knocked up your mom and stole her Gremlin. PHOEBE: No I just, just wanted to know who he was, ya know. GRANDMOTHER: I know. OK, I wasn't completely honest with you when I told you that, uh, I didn't know exactly where he lived. PHOEBE: Whattaya mean? GRANDMOTHER: He lives at 74 Laurel Drive in Middletown. If you hit the Dairy Queen, you've gone too far. You can take my cab. PHOEBE: Wow. Thank you. GRANDMOTHER: Now, remember, nobody else drives that cab. PHOEBE: Uh-huh, got it. Ooh, I'm gonna see my dad. Wish me luck, Grandpa! [blows a kiss to a picture of Einstein]
Ross: Anyway, suddenly I'm down field, and I realise that I'm the one who's supposed to catch him, right? Only I know there is no way I'm gonna get there in time, so I am running, and running, and that, that is when I woke up. See I, I am so not ready to be a father.
Monica: Very good! (Gives him the keys) What do you need it for anyway?
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's; Joey returns carrying a bucket of chicken, and starts going through the mail. While doing this, Monica's picture falls out. He bends over to pick it up and gasps. While he's staring at the picture, Rachel decides to come over and sees him looking at the picture.]
Rachel: Yeah, but it was different with him today! And he wasn't, like, Orthodontist Guy, y'know? I mean, we had fun! Is there anything wrong with that?
Ross: Yes it is. See. (Shows them the piece of paper she gave him with her name and phone number on it.)
Chandler: What?! (Monica kicks him in the shin.) Ow! (He gets out of bed and heads into the living room.)
Ross: What, that we had a baby? Come on lets give him a little credit, although, he did eat a piece of plastic fruit earlier.
Rachel: Okay Joey, were luffing a little bit, so could you tighten up the cunningham? (The mainsail has started to flap in the wind and has stopped working efficiently; she wants him to tighten it so that it starts working again.)
Ross: (interrupts him again) Okay, it's not a contest.
Joey: Alright, alright, okay, uhm... How 'bout this, how about this? Tomorrow... tomorrow we'll both go and we'll tell him together.
Phoebe: Look David, if... if you had never left, then... yeah, we'd probably still be together right now, but... you did leave, and I-I'm with Mike and I really care about him...
Joey: (reading the card) Whoa! This guy is like the biggest commercial casting director in town! (Ross gasps) Ben takes one lousy walk in the park and gets an audition!! (Ross and Carol stare at him, then Joey realizes what he just said.) I mean, way to go Ben! (Gives Ben the thumbs up, which Ben returns.) Man! I've been in that park a million times and no one offered me an audition.
Rachel: Phoebe the father is not here okay? I havent told him yet and I dont think I can tell him at all now!
Joey: I knew that! (They all look at him) I sooo didnt know that, but you should see your faces.
Monica: Thank you! (He tries the door again and Monica glares at him.)
(Joey gives him a thumbs up and heads for the chicken.)
Chandler: Guys? (They ignore him.) Ive got something important to tell ya. (Still nothing so he walks over and stands in front of the TV.) Guys? (They lean over to try and watch the TV, Chandler mimics them.) Guys?! (Pause) Im gonna ask Monica to marry me.
(Rachel turns and gives him a look, and Joey quickly apologises.)
Phoebe: I dont know. I dont know. I cant lie to him again. Oh no Ino! Im just gonna press my breasts up against him.
JOEY: You really think he'd take me? I mean, we had a pretty good talk last night but, when I moved out, I hurt him bad.
Monica: Run, Marcel, run! Run, Marcel! (Marcel runs off and Luisa runs after him. Monica goes to check up on Phoebe) Are you okay?
Phoebe: After he passed out, we put the sand around him to keep him warm.
Chandler: Oh, great. We have to watch him do yoga in his underwear, but for this he closes the drapes!
Ross: Anyway, she thought the very idea of me playing rugby with him was like hilarious. So Im gonna show her how tough I really am!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler is sleeping on the couch. Monica walks by and starts watching him.]
Fun Bobby: It's gonna be an open casket, y'know, so at least I'll- I get to see him again.
Phoebe: (leaning to him) She said, "Hes obviously still in love with this Rachel girl." (He glares at her.)
Phoebe: And yknow, even if they break up again, youd better not let him in your sad mens club!
Monica: I'm his sister, okay? I love him! I don't want to see him get hurt! Come on! Doesnt that give me the right to control himhelp him?
Mrs. Geller: Chandler! Youve been Rosss best friend all these years, stuck by him during the drug problems. (Ross gets disgusted.) And now youve taken on Monica as well. Well, I dont know what to say. Youre a wonderful human being.
Rachel: (scoffs at him) Yeah, thats gonna get you into Soap Opera Digest. Well I (leans into the microphone again) I would just like to say that Joey truly has enriched the days of our lives.
Ross: Okay! Now, Im going to touch you. (He does so, very gingerly.) Ohh, thats soft. (He starts poking him and notices his salad spoons and starts to massage him with those.)
Monica: Hmm, no. I mean how can I accept a restaurant from him? I-I-I-I cant. I couldnt even accept a necklace from Stu Vincent in the seventh grade.
Chandler: All right buddy, way to go! (smacks him on the butt)
ROSS: Monica, Monica, you could come in straddling him, they still wouldn't believe it. [opens door] We're here.
Ross: Ohh, God, nobody likes him, and hes so cheap, hed never fly to London in a million years. Yeah, invite him? Hey, did I do these neat enough? (Hands her some envelopes.)
Phoebe: I dont know, but were having dinner tomorrow night, so I figured, shes gonna tell me then. Y'know maybe she just wanted to give him time to, buy me presents, I dont know! So, youre all bored?
Rachel: Yeah. Its just gonna be too hard. Yknow? I mean, its Ross. How can I watch him get married? Yknow its just, its for the best, yknow it is, its Yknow, plus, somebodys got to stay here with Phoebe! Yknow shes gonna be pretty big by then, and she needs someone to help her tie her shoes; drive her to the hospital in case she goes into labour.
MNCA: But I'm gonna be there... for the rest of my life. I mean, I can't break up with him. I'm the one who made him quit drinking. He's dull because of me.
Rachel: No! Downstairs! And we got to talking yknow, for like two hours, and I really liked him so I invited him up here for a cup of coffee.
Ross: We are never gonna find him! Hes one guy in a huge city!
Phoebe: Yeah, but if I do tell him, then hes gonna hate myself. I mean look at him and his Mom, I cant. (pause) But, you guys can, please you gotta talk him out of it.
Joey: (starting to cry) I gotta go check something over here. (He walks away so that they cant see him cry.)
Rachel: Okay well Ross! Stop it please! Wait a minute! (Motions for him to follow her lead, but he angrily shakes his head no. So she pokes him.)
Rachel: Oh, okay! (She goes over to him and he feels her belly.)
Monica: Hey, isnt weird to think about how next year at this time theyll be a little baby at the table? (Chandler turns around in horror.) (Seeing him) Rachels! But good to know where youre at!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is reading some book and Gunther serves him a cup of coffee.]
Chandler: I didn't get to the bathroom. I bumped into Owen on the way, and he didn't know he was adopted. And there's a slight chance I may have told him.
[Scene: Rosss Classroom, he is writing on the board and Alan is coming in to see him.]
Rachel: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh Chandler!! (Hugs him.) You guys are gonna be so happy!
(Chandler pushes him through the door and Monica closes it behind them.)
Chandler: (looks him in the eye) I'm not breaking up with her! (they stare at each other for a while, then Joey blows in his face)
Rachel: Im not asking you to go on a date with him!
(She storms into his apartment to find him with a towel around his shoulders, a bowl on his head, and Phoebe with scissors in her hand.)
Joey: (stopping him) No, no, you cant, you cant, okay, you cant, you cant buy her pearls, you just cant, you cant, you cant.
Monica: All right, Rachel, I know-I know you think I'm crazy, please, before you tell him you love him, just-just try to find one person who thinks this is a good idea. Because I bet you, you can't.
(Phoebe looks at him, and then giggles and looks away.)
MONICA: Not never. I mean, I'm gonna see him tomorrow at my eye appointment.
(She throws a water balloon at him and hits him on the head and hits him again at the waist with another one.)
Ross: Thanks guys! (They both sit down on either side of him.) I really appreciate this, yknow, but you dont have to rub my butt.
Ross: (Watching Marcel play with Phoebe. To Chandler) Look at him. I'm not saying he has to spend the whole evening with me, but at least check in.
Rachel: Well, Joshuas coming in tomorrow and since I dont have the guts to ask him out, Im going to sell him a coat and put this note in the pocket.
Chandler: Listen to me!! (Chandler turns him around and closes and holds the door shut with his feet.)
[Scene: Chandler's office, Monica and him are at a party his office is throwing.]
Ross: (to the guy in the window seat next to him) Hey! Y'know that teacher who had a baby with her student? (He points at Rachel.)
Rachel: Well, I don't get it, but she wanted me to give you her phone number. (Hands him the slip of paper with the phone number on it.)
(Ross walks over to her and starts to kiss her passionately. After a while Rachel backs out. She thinks a while and starts kissing him back.)
CHANDLER: Oh yeah, you got the big TV. We'll be over there all the time. . . [Chandler gives him a look] except when we are here.
Ross: (sets Ben down) Well, it's not for sure but umm, we met this guy in the park who thought Ben was really cute--y'know, which he is--so umm anyhoo, he uh, he gave us his card and told us to bring him down for this commercial he's auditioning.
Joey: Oh hey, you should be excited about him. Theres nothing wrong with him hes a good guy.