words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is eyeing a beautiful woman at the counter, and Joey and Chandler are egging him on to go talk to her. No pun intended. I mean it.]
Chandler: Excuse me. (gets up, jumps up and down while he zips his zipper up... other patrons look at him) How ya doin'?
(Janice kisses him. Monica comes out for the newspaper.}
Susan: I thought they could...I'll try to get back as soon as I can. I'm sorry. (Ross realizes Kristin was expecting him to laugh, so he starts to laugh hysterically.)
(She kisses him passionately,then leaves.)
Earl: No! Thats just the "Hey Guy" guy. He says that to everybody! Hes the worst! Id like to take him with me!
Phoebe: Why dont you hire him as an actor? You could have him dress up and put on little skits. Whatever you want.
Rachel: (glares at him) Get out, get out of my apartment.
(Phoebe turns and looks at Monica, while Joey frantically motions to Chandler to help him out.)
Monica: Okay. I love you so much. (Kisses him.)
Joey: Yep. (Starts for Monicas room, but Chandler stops him.)
Rachel: No! No-no, I love it. Thank you. (Kisses him.)
JOEY: Aww, Rach, I think you look cute (kisses her on the cheek, then looks at Ross) And you, uh, you, you I could eat with a spoon (goes to kiss him).
Joey: Hey-hey, whos your friend? (Erin turns around to face Joey, startling him) Hey!!
Monica: Oh, Rach! Rach! Umm hey, could you do me a favor and would talk to Chandlers dad and try to keep him away from Chandlers mom?
Rachel: Oh, if I only want two kids, can I keep him for another year?
Monica: What about your breath?! (Breathes on him.)
Rachel: (panics, turns around, picks up the phone, and pretend to talk on it) Hello?! (Listens) Oh, yeah! (To Tag) This is gonna be a while. Excuse me. (Tag leaves and she closes the door behind him, disgustedly.) Yeah!
Rachel: Oh thats right. Youre the talker. (They both reflect on that briefly) Anyway uh, great idea! Umm, I gotta go to the store; I told him that I would buy him some more tissues.
Frank Jr.: What's green and says "hey, I'm a frog"? A talking frog! (Laughs.) Oh, no, you can't have him, he's too funny.
Rachel: Ohh, you can say. Come on, I dont want you to feel like you cant tell me things. (Motions for him to sit down.)
Rachel: Yeah! You know, ever since I had that dream about him, and can't get it out of my head! And what's the big deal, people do it all the time!
Joey: Orrr, you could follow him and see where he goes.
[The next flashback is from The One With Ross's New Girlfriend. Chandler is telling Ross and Joey that Joey's tailor took advantage of him.]
Phoebe: Rachel, listenI mean, if you let me have him then I will really owe you one.
Tom: Okay. Okay. (Exits and Phoebe checks him out.)
(Ben starts to go, but Ross stops him.)
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Okay. Uh, what do I, what do I do with him?
Monica: What about the second minister we meet with? I kinda liked him.
Ross: Okay, Ill see you soon buddy. (He hugs and kisses him.) Be back in an hour.
Monica: Can you blame him?
Joey: (manages to pry off only a small piece) Aw! Look at that, every inch of this stuff is glued down. Itd take forever to pry this up. You should ah, you should just leave it. (starts to walk away, but Monica grabs him)
Monica: Great! Were hangin in the kitchen! (She drags him into the kitchen and turns his back to the living room) Lets stay in the kitchen!
Ross: I was barefoot. Now tell me, the toilet thing is the only thing you taught him right?
Cecilia: (running out to Joey) That was so wonderful! (Hugs him) Ohh, I think that youre a better Jessica than I ever was!
Monica: Hey, have you figured out a way to tell him youre moving out?
Ross: No, hey-hey, come on, (He grabs Ben and sits him on his lap) Ben, Santa is not mad at you, okay? Hey, you're-you're his favorite little guy!
Phoebe: Oh thatd be me. Sir. (Hands him the cell phone.) After you.
Aunt Iris: Well, he may be now, because I think I hit him with my car.
Ross: Yeah. I guess I can cut him some slack.
Rachel: I didnt. I got under him.
Joey: Half hour. (Rachel turns to look at him and he nods yes.)
(Ross glares at him.)
Phoebe: Because youre marrying him!
Monica: Phoebe! Come on Im serious! I just got to talk to him about all this.
Rachel: Yeah but, my assistant Tag does sit-ups in the office during lunch. Ohh! I could just spread him on a cracker.
Phoebe: (seeing him) Okay, nows not the time Joey. All right? You can yell at me tomorrow.
Rachel: I found him! (To Ben) Very funny, come here! (She sits down on the coffee table and Ben walks up.) That is exactly why Ive come here to talk to you okay?
Rachel: Well I was gonna tell him that Im-Im gonna have the baby and he can be as involved as he wants.
Chandler: Y'know, how did I get this reputation as a dropper? Okay? I'm anything but a dropper. (We see various scenes of him dropping a football, a mug of coffee, the phone, an apple, a Frisbee, a record, and the final scene has a ball bouncing off of his chest. I'm not going to describe them, you'll have to see them.)
Monica: (catching him) Chandler!
[Mr. Greene opens the door to Chandler and Joeys apartment. Ross sees him and runs to the door forcing him back in then holds onto the door knob.]
Rachel: Are you makin him a sandwich?
(Stryker enters, only its not Joey playing him.)
Phoebe: Oh. (She starts laughing. Then she throws the badge at him and runs away.)
Phoebe: Ah-hah! At least we know its a him.
(Oh, I should point out that the live studio audience at this point goes absolutely wild. And I had absolutely no idea that this Will character was that popular! Maybe they should make him the seventh friend. Which would work out just fine since hes already married to one of them. Will is played by some guy named Brad Pitt, I guess hes some sort of actor.)
(Chandler mimics him.)
Monica: (looking at him) What?!
Joey: (still looking in date book) Hey! Thats the day after I stop menstruating! (They all look at him.) This isnt mine.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is entering and Mona from the wedding recognizes him.]
(Rachel agrees with him and starts to get out of bed.)
(They both grab him and stop him.)
Phoebe: Bye Chandler! (She walks up to him.) (Quietly.) I miss you already. (She pinches his butt.)
Chandler: Yes, and we'd appreciate it if no one told him yet.
Ross: Nope. I mean, I know Susan does every year, but I think I wanna take this year to teach him all about Hanukkah.
Pete: Oh, believe me, I dont want to get hurt either. Im being smart about this. See these guys? Theyre the best trainers in the world, and Hoshi here used to be a paid assassin. (Hoshi yells at him in Chinese) A house painter! He used to be a house painter.
Joey: Oh yeah, yeah! He's done tons of commercials. I've seen him in like Sugar Smacks, Playstation, and that one for the phone company. In fact he was so good in that one, he actually convinced me to switch phone companies. Chandler was mad .
Chandler: I dont even know the man. Okay? Were not the close. I havent seen him in years.
Chandler: Oh! Right. Umm, maybe thats because I didnt send him an invitation.
Monica: Here! (She sets a bag down in front of him.)
Chandler: Look forget it okay? I dont want to go. I dont want to see him. I dont wanna.
Chandler: Daddy. All right look, heres the story. (Flashback to Chandler about to enter the steam room as he does the voice-over.) Well, we had just finished playing racquetball and we were gonna take a steam. I walk into the steam room and it was really steamy. (The flashback shows his glasses fog up and him trying to find his way around the steam filled room. He takes off his glasses.) So I take off my glasses and thats when in happened.
Rachel: Oh come on Ross!! (She tries to switch places with him and goes under his leg.)
Rachel: Well, where is he? He is supposed to be here. (Pause) What if the baby needs him?
(Ross gets fed up with Joeys banging and stops him by pulling him away from the door.)
Ross: Ok, no, no, you hang up. You, you, y(Rachel grabs the phone and hangs it up for him.)
Phoebe: Ok. I mean I know I did the right thing. You know, Mike never wants to get married and I shouldn't be in a relationship that has no future... but... pretty soon I'm gonna miss him so much. I'm gonna wanna see him again and you have to stop me from doing that.
Phoebe: Oh, youre such a gentleman. (Grabs his arm.) Come on! Were going to my place! (Drags him off to her place.)
Chandler: Are you serious?! I mean like eloping?! No more stupid wedding stuff?! No more these flowers or these flowers or these flowersThink of the money well save!! (Monica just looks at him.) Were not eloping. I love the flowers. Can our wedding be bigger please?
Phoebe: No, I like him a lot but I don't think I'm ready for this!
Chandler: You dont have to stop having fun just because Im here. Kathy didnt cheat on all of you. (To Joey) Well, except you. (They hug and Chandler goes into the bathroom with the chick and duck following him.)
Monica: Dad! Theres Ross (points), why dont you go talk to him?
Ross: (scared) I will, I will find him.
Mr. Geller: Your mother just added him to her list.
Gunther: No. No, I havent seen him.
Phoebe: Oh my God! Is that him? (She points at someone.)
Ross: Yes! No-no! I know, I know what the list is! Mom! Look if you see Chandler, could you just let him know Im looking for him?
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment. Chandler is at the foosball table trying to get Phoebe to play a game with him.]
Monica: (sees two people exit) Okay, those people just left, come on! Quick! Give him the money and get their table!
Rachel: Well, wait a minute! The puss is good! It means it's healing! (Runs after him.)
Conan: You could actually see him trying not to fall down.
(Joey finishes climbing the stairs and sees them. Chandler and Rachel both stop and look up at him. Joey sits down on the step.)
Rachel: Yeah, we got him back. Everythings fine.
(Ross runs over and tackles him.)
Ross: Dude. (Hugs him.)
Rachel: Now you're probably going to hire one of the people who did not ah, (She puts her hands on his desk blotter and he moves it. Rachel then doesn't know where to put her hands.) who did, who did not umm, yell at you and storm out, and I think that's a big mistake and here's why. I made a huge fool of myself and I came back, that shows courage. When I thought you wanted sex in exchange for this job, I said no. That shows integrity. And, I was not afraid to stand up for myself and that shows courage. (Suddenly realizes that she said courage twice.) Okay umm, now I know I already said courage, but y'know you gotta have courage. And umm, and finally when I thought you were making sexual advances in the workplace, I said no and I was not litigious. {By the way, litigious means to want to litigate and litigate is to make a lawsuit against. So she didn't want to sue him. Don't worry, I had to look it up too.} So there you go, you got, you got (counts them off with her fingers) courage, you got integrity, you got (Pause) courage again, and not litigious. Look Mr
ROSS: We don't.� But I thought it would be nice to get to know him.� You know, maybe have a little dinner, drinks, conversation.
Mr. Geller: Way to go son! I knew youd find him!
(Chandler runs around behind Ross, who pitches him the ball. Chandler runs upfield, and Joey knocks the ball out of his hands.)
Ross: No-no! Ill-Ill (He takes too much and some falls out of his mouth, which starts him laughing.)
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey is walking up to the director, pleading with him to let him go.]
Ross: Yes!! Yes!!! (He starts clapping and Phoebe turns around to look at him and falls off the bike.)
Monica: (seeing him) Oh sweet Lord.
Rachel: Honey, stop it! I am not going to tell you until I tell him.