words in movies
Monica: Oh, no. He doesn't have time for that. But if you want, you can go help him and Joey pack up the guest room.
(Ross takes the tape roll she's handing him and walks to the guest room while mocking Monica's voice)
[Scene: Guest room. Joey has his head wrapped in bubbled wrap and Chandler is punching him. Ross enters the room.]
Joey: Try it, I can't feel a thing! (Ross starts punching him too)
Ross: You got it! (Monica leaves, Ross closes the door). All right, she's right, we gotta get serious. (He grabs a bag of styrofoam peanuts) Let's put styrofoam peanuts down his pants and kick him!
(Rachel rushes back and pulls Joey back onto the balcony, and takes him inside.)
(Ross walks over to her and starts to kiss her passionately. After a while Rachel backs out. She thinks a while and starts kissing him back.)
(she knees him in the crotch. He jumps up a bit)
Phoebe: Hes just such a great guy Im so excited about him.
Ross: No! The guy is mean. I mean really mean. I think you should stay away from him.
MR. GELLER: What? I'm kidding. You know I'd never let him touch the Porsche.
RACHEL: You want me to just call him up and tell him that you're seeing him instead? That's what you want?
Chandler: With the balled-up socks? I figured you taught him that.
MONICA: No, a doctor of meat. Of course he's a real doctor. And he's handsome, and he's sweet, and know you'd like him. [she puts her arm around Richard]
JOEY: Hey, cut him some slack. It was Chandler's idea.
Ross: Thanks. (Joey hugs him) OK.
Monica: (turns his back to the stairs) Oh, it's a great party! Great food. Y'know, most parties it's all chips and salsa, chips and salsa. (As she's saying this Rachel tries to head downstairs but is blocked by people coming upstairs. She quickly retreats back up the stairs.) (Sees that she has to keep him distracted longer.) So umm, what's this? (Points to his plate.)
PHOEBE: OK, I wasn't in love with him and I was just helping out a friend.
Joey: Hey! No-no-no-no, you cant take him away from me! I got a great partner to pick up girls with! Finally!!
(He walks over behind Ross, thinks about it for a moment, and gives him a big hug.)
PHOEBE: I know, yeah. Ok, talk to him. [leaves]
Phoebe: Look, I feel really bad about how I freaked you out before, so I called the father and asked him to meet you here so you can tell him. Go!
Chandler: Thank you, Mister Drunken Gambler! Okay, you get this and uh, we get the biggest suite in the place! (Everyone cheers) Wait-wait-wait-wait! We (motions to Monica and him.) get the biggest suite in the place.
Rachel: Oh, I found him. He was Paolo's cat.
[Sequence 5: Monica hands the ball off to Phoebe, who runs up field and delivers a fore-arm shiver to Chandler, knocking him over and scores the touchdown, and she yells...]
[Back at the table. Joey and Ross return. Shortly, Chandler comes out, holding the stall door in front of him, and leaves.]
Phoebe: (To Chandler) Were practically kissing. (Makes a kissy face and winks at him.)
Ross: Oh-oh, okay, okay! (He quickly takes off his sweater in order to put on the T-shirt. Its an old Frankie says relax T-shirt, that barely fits him. Rachel nods her head in approval of the new look.) If you dont mind Im gonna the rest of my stuff, and relax, in my favourite shirt. (Starts to leave) You have a pleasant evening. (He exits and leaves the door open.)
Rachel: (ignoring him) Anyway, Ralph just came in to tell me that hes so happy with my work that he wants me to be the new merchandising manager for polo retail.
Phoebe: So! Ross doesnt really decorate his tree with floss, but you dont hear him complaining do you? God! (Phoebe hits her guitar which wakes up Ross with a start.)
RACHEL: Yeah you like totally let him wash his feet in the pool of your inner power.
Ross: Oh, thank you. (She goes to kiss him, but he holds her coat up between their faces to stop her.) Hey, hey. (opens the door, sees Rachel, and hides Chloe behind the door) Rachel!!!!
PHOEBE: Is anyone else starting to really like him?
Chandler: If you wanna give Joey a Christmas present that disrupts the entire building, why not get him something a little bit more subtle, like a wrecking ball, or a vile of small pox to release in the hallway?
(She turns around and glares at him, he turns away.)
RACHEL: Oh, I'm sorry, I guess I just bring it out in him.
ROSS: Uh, nothing, nothing's with him. Enjoy your coffee.
Rachel: Yeah, I have to tell Ross that I love him. Now honey, you take care, you dont have those babies until I get back. (Kisses her stomach.)
Joey: (Shouting after him) Chandler, I didn't kiss her, he did! (To Ross) See what happens when you break the code?
JOEY: Get him a bone, get a bone. You gotta bone?
Jill: Well, goodbye Chandler. I had a great blackout. (she kisses him on the cheek) See ya.
Rachel: I don't know! He hasn't called me since that one time when we went out. I see him in the hallway, we flirt, I'm all ha-ha-ha-ha, and nothing.
PHOEBE: Oh, alright, that's it, now I have to go see him.
Monica: You heard him! "No bigger!" "You're perfect!" "Just don't get any bigger!" Oh my god he sounded just like my high school wrestling coach. You know what? I'm going to have to talk to Chandler.
Ross: I thought I heard voices! Hi Charlie! (Kisses her.) Hi Joey. (Hugs him.) And.. Oh! You're gonna have to introduce me to your new girlfriend. (Laughs.) I'm just kidding, I know Rachel, I know. (He squeezes her hand.) Come, please come in. Come in.
Chandler: Oh. Oh right! Right! Because youre still seeing him and uh, hes a good guy. I mean, I remember a time when (He fakes falling asleep.)
Ross: Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine. (A woman emerges from the toilet behind him and he tries to pretend he was in the other one)
Ross: (Reading letters) Oh God. (To Marcel) We didn't get into Scranton. (To the others) That was like our safety zoo. They take like dogs and cows. See? I don't know who this is harder on, me or him.
JADE: Yes, yes, I did. In fact, I had sex with him 2 hours ago.
Joey: Oh, thats, uh, thats Phoebes friends dog. I dont know what his real name is, but I call him Mozzarella.
Monica: (stopping him) What, what are you doing? You cant go out there.
Monica: I mean, why should I let them meet him? I mean, I bring a guy home, and within five minutes they're all over him. I mean, they're like- coyotes, picking off the weak members of the herd.
MONICA: I can't believe you're dressing up for him. I mean, you're just, you're setting yourself up all over again.
Joey: Maybe. So this is the living room huh? Ooh, it's pretty dark. (starts feeling around him like he's in a completely dark room, touching Chandler, who backs out and hits him)
Rachel: and I know Chandler is kidding but it happens every time he touches my stomach. I mean Im really worried the babys not going to like him. (Joey is staring at the table.) Are you okay?
(A man carrying a box of bananas walks past them. They stare for a minute and then hobble after him)
MRS BUFFAY: Yeah well, thanks for bringing back what's left of him.
Doug: No-no, I heard what you said, funny. I like funny. (Chandler starts to leave) This team is about hard work, but its also about having fun. Good to have you aboard Bing! (smacks him on the butt, and Chandler leaves shocked.)
Joey: Listen, the next time you talk to him, can you ask him which one the strongest Power Ranger is?
Ross: Well, umm, why dont you give him a call?
Chandler: No, I invited him to dinner so you could get a chance to get to know him! I mean, if we go through a sperm bank you never meet the guy, get to check him out.
MONICA: Bye sweetie, (kisses him) I love you.
RACHEL: Afraid to ask him?
JOEY: Come on, Chandler, I want this part soo much. (Chandler ignores him) Just one kiss, I won't tell anyone.
(They follow him and meet him in the hall coming out of his apartment carrying a sweater.)
JOEY: Oh, Richard's here. I should run down say bye to him (runs out)
Rachel: Okay, thank you. Thatll be all. (The mail guy leaves and Tag starts to follow, but Rachel stops him.) (Excitedly) Wait! Wait! (Rushes over and closes the office-door.) Did you see that? That mail guy had no idea there was something going on between us. (They kiss.)
CHANDLER: [to the woman who just rejected him] All right look. Penis schmenis. We're all people. [She walks away again.]
Rachel: Okay Joey, first of all Kash Ford is not people. Second of all, what did he say when you told him I was pregnant?
Matt: It tastes like (mimicking him in a high-pitched voice) feet!
Chandler: Here! (Hands him one. Joey adds it up and discovers that he was right.)
(She does so, he closes the door, and she pushes him against the doorknob again.)
Ross: I think this will be fine. Okay, vanilla milkshake, just a vanilla milkshake, with chicken bits floating in it. Cheers. (starts to drink, but Rachel stops him just before he starts drinking)
Rachel: Monica, you broke up with him for a reason.
Phoebe: Maybe, because you told him not to.
Rachel: (she leans over and kisses him on the cheek) Honey, I was wondering....
ROSS: Ok. Here's his diaper bag, and his uh, Mr. Winky, and uh...oh, him. Hi!
(After he closes the door, Monica starts to follow him, but thinks better of it and stops.)
PHOEBE: Yeah, I met him when I was playing guitar in Washington Square Park. Ryan threw in salt water taffy 'cause he didn't have any change.
ROSS: Hi, Mrs. Green. [He gets up to shake her hand, but she ignores him.]
Ross: (Back to Emma) Hi! (Looks at her) What... (Moves the stroller away from him so he can get a better look at her. He looks at her confused. Finally he realizes the difference and gasps). Please tell me those are clip-ons.
Monica: So, should I call him back?
Monica: I called him.
Ross: (to Joey) How 'bout instead you, go get changed! (to Chandler) You, give him back his underwear! I'm gonna go get a cab, and I want everyone down stairs in two minutes! Monica!
JOEY: [quietly] I never know how long you're supposed to wait in this type of a situation before you can talk again, you know? [Ross stares blankly at him] Maybe a little longer.
Rachel: Yes, Ross. (turns toward him)
(Chandler starts to leave ashamed of himself, but Rachel stops him in the hallway.)
Joey: I want the drugs Ross, I want the drugs! (He starts rocking back and forth, taking Ross with him.)
Joey: (with food in his mouth) You talked to him. Are you crazy?
Rachel: (Looks at him) You're so pretty.
Chandler: This is like figure skating team all over again. (Phoebe and Ross glare at him astonished) I mean synchronized swimming. (they continue to glare) I mean- I mean the balance beam. (to Ross) Help me!
Phoebe: Hey, oh, you know that guy who's been following me? I talked to him today.
Ross: Okay, come on! (blows on the dice) Daddy needs a new pair of electromagnetic microscopes for the Prehistoric Forensics Department! (They all look at him, and he shuts up and rolls the dice.) (he moves his piece) Okay. (reading a card) Take Pinky Tuscadero up to Inspiration Point, collect three cool points!! Yeah! Which gives me five, and lets see who is gonna lose their clothes. Ummmm, I think I pick our strip poker sponsor Mr. Joey Tribianni.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is eating jam straight out of the jar, and Chandler is staring at him in amazement. Joey offers him some.]
Phoebe: But everybody sings. It's so much fun! Last time this adorable old man got out there, forgot all of the words, flipped outand everyone booed him off the stage. So funny.
Monica: I think, that if you really like this guy, you should just trust him.
Rachel: Well I just came...(She touches him near his heart. Shes almost in tears.) I just needed to tell you...(Looking into his eyes. She takes a deep breath.) Congratulations. (He hugs her. She can barely hold back the tears.)
(They all start laughing at him)
Chandler: Why dont you just give him to somebody else?
Phoebe: Well, it was just, it was all so crazy, you know. I mean, Chandler was in the closet, counting to 10, and he was up to 7 and I hadn't found a place to hide yet. I-I-I meant to tell you, and I wrote it all down on my hand. See, all of it. (shows him her hand)
Phoebe: Yes, it was! It was him! Uh huh! (they all stare at her) Okay, it was me!
Joey: Weve got a box. (Motions to a large wooden box next to him.)
Monica: What if it's new? I mean, we agreed not to talk again, unless we had something really important to say. Shouldn't I call him back?
Rachel: Honey, this will help. (hands him a tub of ice cream)
Phoebe: (walking over) Hey. Ursulas fianc�e is really sweet! Hes a teacher, he does all this volunteer work. Yknow normally yknow, I dont like really sweaty guys. But this one? I could just mop him up!
Rachel: No Ross!! (stands up and moves away from him) Dont! You cant just kiss me and think youre gonna make it all go away, okay? It doesnt work that way. It doesnt just make it better. Okay?
Rachel: I thought you only met him once?
Joey: And before you know it, she's with him. And you'll be all, 'Ohh, man!' And he'll be all, 'Yes!' And us, we'll be like, 'Wh-whoa, dude.' And pretty soon you'll be like, (sadly) 'Hhiii,' and, and, and, 'I can't go, Rachel and Mark might be there.' And we'll be like, 'Man get over it, it's been four years!!'