words in movies
[The next flashback is from The One With Ross's Sandwich, Ross his confronting his boss about him eating Ross's sandwich.]
Ross: (losing control, we hear him shout outside) MY SANDWICH?!!!
Chandler: Oh come on guys, its not like I moved to Europe! I just moved across the hall! And we would have you over all the time if it werent for (struggles to get this out) Monicas allergies. (The duck quacks.) Youre right, I could never lie to you. She hates you. (The phone rings.) Should I get that? (Laughs, then answers the phone.) Hello? (Listens) Uh no, Joeys not here right now. Can I take a message? (Listens) Yeah, okay so the audition has been moved from 5:00 to 2:30? (Listens) Okay great. (Listens.) Bye. (Hangs up the phone and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle on the door but Monica walks in and forces him to jump out of the way.)
Chandler: Well, maybe we can fix it yknow? Maybe we can send him some-some big-big flowers and scare him!
[Joey just laughs as a third set of flashbacks featuring Chandlers mistakes starts. The first flashback is from The One With The Prom Video. It's Chandler telling Phoebe how much he hates the bracelet Joey bought him. They're both at Central Perk.]
Chandler: (lets him out) What happened?!!
[The next flashback is from The One With Ross's New Girlfriend. Chandler is telling Ross and Joey that Joey's tailor took advantage of him.]
Joey: That's how they do pants! Ross, will you tell him? Isn't that how they measure pants?
Rachel: (mocking him) You fell asleep?!
Monica: You had no right to go out with him.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Joey is entering to find Chandler waiting patiently for him.]
Rachel: No, come on, I'm totally ok. (hugging him) I don't need you to come! I can totally handle this on my own.
Ross: I'm not scared of him, I'm really sick!
Nurse: Miss Green, your father's doctor is on the phone if you'd like to speak to him.
Rachel: Ross, please, don't be so scared of him!
Rachel: (she's sad) Ow. I don't want him to wake up alone! I should go to the hospital!
Tom: Oh, actually I barely knew him. Yeah, I came because I heard Chandler's news. D'you know if he's seeing anyone?
Monica: All right, all right! Lets just cut to the chase, okay? (To Phoebe) Youre single. (To Tim) Youre single. (To Phoebe) He gets off work at eleven. (To Tim) Shell be waiting for your call. (To Phoebe) Ill give him your number if I can get one calamari and one Caesar salad!! (Everyone in the kitchen stops.) I did not yell. I am not putting a dollar in the jar.
Erica: Yeah... it's almost definitely him. (Monica and Chandler look confused now)
Chandler: I'd keep an eye on him! We have to find out which one the father is.
Rachel: (sarcastic) Oh, that is so hot. She walks around him to the other side)
Phoebe: Oh that's my grandma. (Joey holds the box away from him.) And thanks Joey she's having a really great time. (Joey is happy now.)
Ross: You have no idea how much this hurts. (All of the women in the room turn and glare at him.) Keep going! Keep going!
(There's booing around them, and Mike sinks in his chair, holding his hand in above his eyes, hoping no-one would recognize him)
Rachel: (She turns around very slowly, looks at him for a second and then turns back to her coffee) Sure. (She gives him the cup she was pouring for herself without looking at him)
Mark: Sure, sure. (To Ross) What's with the chair. (Rachel signals him not to mention she's been fired)
Monica: I think he is fine! It's just that we don't know anything real about him... we should get more information.
Ross: No, no, NO, you cannot go to dinner with him.
Ross: I don't know. I could talk to her boss. Yeah! I met him at that Christmas party. We really hit it off.
Monica: Seriously, you don't think we should tell him?
Phoebe: Well, not for a little while. Let's just give him a few days to get used to everything else.
Monica: Alright, we don't know that it's him. I mean, it could be the football guy.
Announcer: Get a load of this... She's proposing to him. Guess we know who wears the pants in that family. (people are laughing, while Mike still seems bewildered)
Phoebe: Alors, si vous pouviez jouer le jeu avec lui... (Translation: So, would you please just humor him?)
Phoebe: Well, so what I like him! Do I make fun of the people youve dated? Tag, Janice, Mona? No, because friends dont do that. But, do you want my opinion? Do you want it? Cause in my opinion, your collective dating record reads like the whos who of human crap. (Walks off)
Joey: Well, okay, I'll - I'll just call her and tell her the date's cancelled, and find him somebody else.
Joanna: Oh, I know and hes soo sweet! Listen, he said he was going to call, so put him straight through.
(Ross takes the tape roll she's handing him and walks to the guest room while mocking Monica's voice)
Joey: Try it, I can't feel a thing! (Ross starts punching him too)
Monica: Oh, no. He doesn't have time for that. But if you want, you can go help him and Joey pack up the guest room.
Chandler: But uh Ross, Ross is a great guy! I was roommates with him in college. Uh, funny story (He starts laughing then notices that Paul isnt happy.) Youre roommate in college died didnt he?
(Rachel rushes back and pulls Joey back onto the balcony, and takes him inside.)
(Ross dives over the couch, Rachel goes the other way, and lands up top of him.)
Phoebe: But no, because a doctor wont be able to help him, its just gonna yknow naturally pass through his system in like seven years.
(He walks over and kisses her. They pull back, Rachel looks at him, and they kiss again.)
Phoebe: Him youre friends with. (Starts looking at the children trying to find Jack and a teacher notices her.)
(Monica leaves, and Chandler closes the door. Erica just looks at him.)
(Erica just looks at him like he's crazy.)
Phoebe: Have you seen him throw a ball?
Rachel: Uh-huh. I know. It was just, it was just the perfect way to say goodbye. (She hugs him, and Ross looks crushed.)
(Monica looks at him.)
Nurse: We'll just get him cleaned up a bit.
(Joey makes a sound imitating one person making a bed creak and Chandler turns and glares at him.)
Chandler: Look, I may have jumped the gun here. (she tries to kiss him, but he ducks it and moves away) Um, I just got out of a relationship and Im not really in a, in a commitment kind of place.
(She kisses him on the cheek and looks over at the others.)
Joey: Oh, uh, okay, how, how about now? (He waves his hand in front of the woman next to him and you can now see his arm on TV.)
(She pulls him over to the door.)
Ross: Well, I asked him if he wanted to eat, he said, "No." I asked him if he wanted to sleep, he said, "No." I asked him what he wanted to do, he said, "No." So, hes sweeping. (We see Ben playing with a broom and a dustpan.)
Chandler: Well, I tried Billy Jean King, but... (Ross glares at him) you know, you and Monica have the same "I'm gonna kill you" look...? I can usually make it go away by kissing her... (Ross continues to glare at him and Chandler leans in as if he's going to kiss Ross)
Rachel: She was just crawling around and she found him, so I just let her sleep with him. That's all right? Isn't it?
(Rachel gives him a look.)
(Ross stares in shock at him as he angrily puts down the chicken and takes off his coat.)
Monica: Its not like, I havent any opportunities. I mean, yknow, Im just waiting for the perfect guy. Im seeing this guy Roger, all right? Hes not perfect, but umm, I think maybe I should just get it over with. Yknow, give him my flower.
Rachel: In the future, when a girl asks for some ill-advised sympathy sex... just do it. (she smiles fakely at him)
Janice: Hi! Hi sweetheart! This is my husband Sid, I dont think youve met him. Ross, Rachel, this is Sid. I nabbed him a year ago at the dermatologists office. Thank God for adult acne huh? (Does the laugh.)
Guru Saj: Oh, I think I see the problem. And Im afraid were gonna have to use a much stronger tool. (Ross gives him a What? look) Love.
(Ross points at him and exits.)
Monica: And he came at us with an axe, so Rachel had to use a bug bomb on him!
Rachel: Oh, hey, I have an idea. Why don't we play rock-paper-scissors, and whoever loses goes in first. (they all agree) Ready? (they do the rock-paper-scissor thing with they hands and Rachel has paper, Phoebe and Ross both have rock, while Joey is doing a strange upward wiggling with his fingers. They all look a him confused).
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is eyeing a beautiful woman at the counter, and Joey and Chandler are egging him on to go talk to her. No pun intended. I mean it.]
Joey: Oh, were supposed to just get him a ticket?! That guy is always mooching off of us!
Chandler: (stopping him from going any further) Before you say anything, have we got a story for you! Guess who we bumped into at dinner!
Rachel: man sharks. I always knew there was something weird about that dude. But you promised to love him no matter what.
Rachel: Because, I feel like I wouldn't just be going out with him. I would be going out with all of you. Oh, and there would just be all this pressure, and I don't wanna...
Rachel: (seeing him) Wow! H-umm! Hi! Yes, uh Im sorry the models are actually down the hall.
JOEY: Angela? Joey Tribiani. Listen, what are ya doing tonight. I know your seeing that guy I was thinking maybe you could bring him.....Hello? Hello? (picks up a statue of an Indian and walks into his room)
Joey: (To Chandler) Hey man, you feeling any better? (Chandler answers him with some guttural sounds that only he can make and that no human can transcribe.)
Ross: (going up to Rachels closed door) Chandler? (He opens the door and looks inside and doesnt see him.) Chandler? (He checks the bathroom and still doesnt find him. He then finds a note on the counter. He picks it up and reads it.)
Joey: (looks at him suspiciously) But, ehm... you watched the tape?
Joey: Ah. (To Chandler) Slow swimmers? (Chandler looks at him.)
Chandler: Excuse me, look, we've been here for over an hour, and a lot of people less sick than my friend have gone in. I mean, that guy with the toe thing? Who's he sleeping with? (She slides the gladd panel over and Chandler talks through it in a loud voice.) Oh, c'mon Dora, don't be mad... I know we both said some things we didn't mean, but that doesn't mean we still don't love each other. (To the waiting room.) Y'know, I feel like I've lost her.. (She slides the panel back, he turns, and it takes him by surprise.) Ba-!
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is sitting at a table and Phoebe is on the couch. Chandler and Monica can be seen outside, shes lecturing him, and pushes him inside. He then nods to Rachel, and is obviously counting off the seconds in his head and then Monica makes a grand enterance.]
Phoebe: (coming back for Joey) No! (Grabs Joey and drags him away.)
Chandler: (reading the check) Pete Becker. Pete (quickly grabs a magazine and opens it up to show her a picture) (pointing to the picture) Is this him?
Rachel: Ohh... (Ross mouths HA-HA at Monica and takes two cookies and she looks at him angrily)
Mr. Franklin: Really? They love him down on six.
Phoebe: Then he comes over! (Mimicking him) "Im so worried about you." Uck! Be a man!
Ross: She's having lunch with him. She's having lunch with him. And you should of seen the hug she gave him when she got the job. And, and, and, (to Joey) he's really good looking. (Joey gives an enthusiastic thumbs up) What am I gonna do?
Rachel: (interrupting him) No-no-no-no-no Ross! Please, come on we do not have any of the big stuff we need! We do not a changing table! We do not have a crib! We do not have a diaper service!
Rachel: Okay? Wait okay, tell-tell me that you like him, please? I mean tell me that you like him.
(she knees him in the crotch. He jumps up a bit)
Chandler: And you did it first?! This is gonna kill him! You know how much he loves to propose!
Joey: (shocked) Dah!! (Chandler motions for him to calm down.)
Joey: Whoa-ho-ho! (He looks at Chandler, who gives him a come on look.) Yeah, okay.
Ross: No, no. The vet says unless he's in a place where he has regular access to some... monkey lovin,' he's just gonna get vicious. I've just gotta get him into a zoo.
Rachel: (to Ross) Cappuccino. (Hands it to him.)
Joey: (he stops Chandler from posting the message) No, no, no... what do... you can't do that to him!
Monica: See what happens when you give people advice? I hope you told him not to?
Ross: Its a legitimate learning technique. (Looking around and seeing the woman behind him glaring at him.) Wow!
Ross: Okay look, do-do, you have anything Christmassy? I promised my son, and I really don't want to disappoint him, um, come on, I uh, you gotta have something.
Chandler: The only superpower you have is a slightly heightened sense of smell. (Hands him the jacket and walks away.)
Phoebe: Yeah, I dreamt that he saved me from a burning building and he was so brave and so strong! And its making me look at him totally differently. Yknow, I mean he used to be just, yknow Jack Geller Monica and Rosss dad and now hes hes Jack Geller, dream hunk."
Doug: Well, I got tanked myself last night. Pretty dicey drive home, Tapanzi Bridge never looked smaller. (laughs) Thats okay, youre still my number one guy! (slaps him on the butt) Bing!
Joey: We can't, alright? (To the women) We're sorry. You have no idea how sorry, but... We promised we'd find this monkey. If you see him, he's about yea high and answers to the name Marcel, so if we could get some pictures of you, you'd really be helping us out.
ROSS: [Rachel, laughing, puts a hand on the guy's shoulder] Look at that, look at that, see how she's pushing him away and he won't budge. Alright, I'm gonna do something. [walks up in the middle of their conversation] Excuse me, are you Rachel?
Chandler: Okay, look, I'm gonna pull on the door and you guys push as hard as you can. Maybe we can get enough room to wiggle him out, okay? Okay, so PUSH!
Phoebe: I know but he call's and my heart goes to him. You know that bastard is one smooth talking free lance kite designer.
Chandler: I'm sure that would mean a lot to him. And if heaven has a door, I'm sure he's pressing his ear up against it and listening intently.
Phoebe: No, I'm just gonna help him, you know, get 'de-Ursula-ized', like you know, like I did for Joey after he went out with her.
Phoebe: YOU'RE FIRED! (mimes the CUT again) (pause and she raises her glass) Cheers! (Chandler raises his, smiling and Monica stares at him and he puts down his glass.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is examining the injury to Rosita while Rachel is apologizing to him.]