words in movies
[Scene: Chandler's office in Tulsa.�� His assistant is showing him photographs.]
CHANDLER: Joey just called.� He's got courtside Knicks tickets for him and me tomorrow night.
MONICA: Tell him that you haven't seen your wife in a long time.� Tell him that having a long-distance relationship is really difficult.� Tell him that what little time we have is precious.
ROSS: We don't.� But I thought it would be nice to get to know him.� You know, maybe have a little dinner, drinks, conversation.
CHANDLER: Because I didn't know how to tell him that I couldn't go to the Knicks game.� So, I just told him that I had to stay in Tulsa.
MONICA: So, you lied to him?
JOEY: (outside the apartment door) I just heard him!
CHANDLER: (softly) Can you . . . hear him . . . now?
JOEY: I heard him again!
CHANDLER: Don't you think it's better for him to think that you're cheating on me, than for him to think that I'm cheating on him?� (Monica tips her head slightly as if asking "Did you hear yourself?")� I heard it.
MONICA: I don't want him to think that I'm having an affair.
(Mike leaves.� Ross closes the door behind him.)
(Joey gives him and odd look.� Monica gives a similar look.)
MONICA: (suddenly starts issuing him out) Ah, it's an honest mistake.� It could happen to anyone.� All right, see ya.
MIKE: I'll get it.� (He lunges across Ross's lap on the sofa to reach the phone.� Ross stares at him with wide eyes.)� Hello?� Ross's place.� Mike speaking.� (pause.� Hands phone to Ross)� It's for you.
MONICA: It's gonna be so hot!� (She kisses him.)
(Ross smiles slightly.� Then he gives a single nod that lifts him to his feet.� He exits the coffee shop.
Ross: And-and I, and I saw that Joey was about to go in, so I ran in ahead of him to-to surprise him and, and then I pretended I didnt know he was in there. (They all kinda look at him.)
Chandler: What problem did you tell him you had?
Ross: (chases her) Oh yeah, yeah? Well uh, when we were going out, I read tons of porno magazines! (Realizes a table of women overheard him.) (To that table.) Sup?
Joey: Oh, Urse... (He tries to take her in his arms, but she fends him off.)
Rachel: Yeah. (Motions for him to continue.)
Airline Employee: (grabbing the ticket from him) Sir, this is not a first class ticket. Im sorry.
Monica: Oh Im working on my toast for the party, or as I like to call it. Sob fest 2002. Hey check this out. (Hands him a picture.)
Phoebe: Well, his name is Parker and I met him at the drycleaners.
Rachel: Yeah, yeah I like him a lot.
Phoebe: Ok, so this is pretty much what's happened so far. Ross was in love with Rachel since, you know, forever, but every time he tried to tell her, something kind of got in the way, like cats, and Italian guys. Finally Chandler was like "forget about her" but when Ross was in China on his dig, Chandler let it slip that Ross was in love with Rachel. She was like, "Oh my god." So she went to the airport to meet him when he came back, but what she didn't know was, that Ross was getting off the plane with another woman. Uh-Oh! So, that's pretty much everything you need to know. But, enough about us. So, how've you been?
Phoebe: Because Im going to kill him
MNCA: Oh no no, this is not for him, this is for me. That way he's still sober but I find his stories about shoelaces much more amusing.
Mona: No, its still wet. Yknow what? Let me get it out before it sets. Ooh, I have something you can wear. Here. (Hands him Rosss shirt.)
Phoebe: So long! Dont let the best door in the world hit you in the ass on your way out! (He exits and she slams the door behind him.)
ROSS: Ok, ok, you know what? I think you're very funny. Kudos on that hat joke. But, come on guy just, just give him back the hat.
Rachel: Okay, dont listen to him. Please?
Rachel: Oh! (They enter. Rachel sees his father, lying on a bed, with tubes, drip and everything) Oh! Oh my God! Ohhh, ohhh, wow, that ear and nose hair trimmer I got him was just money down the drain, huh?
Phoebe: (interrupting him) I was just being polite!
Monica: Umm, so how long have you been working with your dad? (He looks at her) Come on, one of us had to mention him.
Ross: Yeah! Anyway, I-I still think we should try to patch things up, yknow? Like uh, maybe we could get him to get tickets to another Knicks game and invite him.
(Chandler tries to jump over the couch but everyone stops him.)
Phoebe: I just talked him into it, dont tell me I have to do you too. The puppet master gets tired people.
Joey: I cant look at you right now! (Exits and slams the door behind him.)
Joey: Well, I said that I (The gang jumps up and interrupts him.)
Monica: (on phone) Uh, Michelle. Yeah, that was me, I-I dialed your number by mistake. (listens) Oh, you're so sweet. Yeah, we were a great couple. I know I really miss him. Well, you know how it is, it's that....
Monica: (stopping him) No! Joey, we swore wed never tell!
Joey: I couldnt help it! When a fist comes at your face, you duck! Look! (He goes to punch Ross, expecting him to duck, but he doesnt and Joey punches Ross. Gunther is amused.)
Mona: (interrupting him) Listen Ross, you dont have to apologize. I understand why you were there.
(Phoebe looks at him, and then giggles and looks away.)
Rachel: This is Chandler. (Points at him.)
Rachel: (she hurries after him) Wait, we still have time to talk and theyre-they're not even in the car yet! (She takes a quick look down the street.) Oh look, there they go, okay. (She hurries in, too)
(Joey steps in a picks up the paper, the gang all look at him.)
(At this point, Chandler walks into the living room from his bedroom. Ross and Joey both have their backs to him, so they don't notice. Chandler sees the situation and remains quiet, watching.)
Monica: Okay, I-Im sorry. You and Joey, your both focusing on this uncomfortable thing, what you need to do is to change the subject. Next time you see him try to get him talking about something else.
Ross: Ugh. Well, were just gonna have to jump. (Joey looks at him.) Yeah. Now, were gonna have to make sure to land to the right of that patch of ice, okay? Not hit the dumpster on the other side and uh, and try to avoid that-that weird brownish red stuff in the middle. So, when you get down there you go up to the roof and you let me in.
Janice: Oh, we go way back. Before Monica made an honest man out of him, Chandler used to be my little love muffin! (does her irritating laugh). So? Are you guys thinking of getting this house too? Ooh! Are we gonna have a bidding war? I'd better warn you, I'm a toughie (playfully punches Chandler, who tries to get away from her)
Rachel: Thank you. (Hugs him.)
Rachel: (stopping him) Oh, wait Ross! Im sorry, one more thing!
Joey: You cooked him?
<Joey turns away and Chandler reassuringly pats him on the back>
Chandler: Whats wrong with sun-dried tomatoes? (Everyone stares at him.) On a barbecue chicken pizza? (Still theres staring.) No?
Rachel: Well, we were paying for our stuff and this saleswoman just started flirting with him.
Waiter: Sure. Sure. (Turns away, then turns back) Seconds up! (Joey glares at him.) Not that kind of table. (He walks away.)
Don: And youre still married to him? (They both laugh, and Chandler tries to but fails.)
Monica: Spoon? (Hands him one and he tastes it.) So, what do you think?
[Scene: The Cooking Class, Joey is trying to cook as the teacher walks over to him.]
Ross: Oh see, before you uh, when you showed it to me you-you held it that way (he turns her hand upside down) which uh, which was misleading. Well Im (He goes at sits down at his new table and the kids stare at him.) Hello.
Chandler: (sounds nervous) Yeah! I... I... I liked it! (Joey continues to look at him suspiciously) But, ehm... my bosses didn't go for it. Stupid sons of bitches!
The Cooking Teacher: I think you should give him your star.
Rachel: Well, I havent seen him since that night that he told me how he yknow I dont know, I think hes avoiding me. Why is that bagel on the floor?
(He throws down his plate and runs to the wine cellar, Monica is about to follow him but is intercepted by Rachel.)
Ross: Well uh, yknow what? Even if she doesnt know anything, I do! I have a son. And his mother and I didnt live together, and whenever he was with me I took care of him all the time, by myself.
Chandler: All right buddy, time to roll over. (Rolls him over, and discovers a surprise) (Looking down) No-no! (Covers his eyes) No, no-n-n-n-no!! You are going to a clinic! Youre going to a clinic, and a pyjama store!
Phoebe: No, its not! We were just goofing around and I dared him to try them on.
Chandler: Yeah, can I get a 3-piece, some cole slaw, some beans, and a Coke(Yelps in pain as Monica grabs him underwater)Diet Coke.
Ross: Youve sentenced him?!
Ross: (to him) Hey! You wanna live to see your baby?!
Phoebe: All right, all right, so up until 92-93 he was very trusting, then 94 hit, Carol left him and bamn! Paranoid city!
Phoebe: Ooh, this is it! (Looks in the window.) Oh, thats him! Thats him!
Joey: Great! Go get him.
Ross: Well, Im sorry, but ah, look if youre not working with him anymore, why do you have to still do stuff with him?
Cliff: That-thats him! You know him?
Chandler: Man, if only youd gotten here sooner. (Ross turns and glares at him.)
Ross: Well then wed be in a lot of trouble, you dont know where any countries are. (Rachel glares at him.) Okay. (He goes over to the desk followed by Rachel.) Uh, say would you umm Would you mind checking again to see if any umm, private rooms may have (Handing her some money) opened up?
Phoebe: Oh, en chante. (She holds out her hand for him to kiss it, but he only shakes it.)
Joey: I have to go to the bathroom too, but I dont want him complimenting my thing.
Chandler: Well maybe you dont have to tell him anything.
Monica: I dont see him. Hey! Maybe hes in the sugar bowl! (Opens the sugar bowl) Joey? Nope! (Closes the sugar bowl and they both laugh.)
Phoebe: Are you kidding? Im like the one who talked him into it. I like to think of myself as the puppet master of the group.
[Scene: The Lobby, Ross is eating a sandwich as Phoebe rushes up to him.]
Monica: Well do you love him?
Rachel: Joey asked me marry him.
Monica: You cant marry him!
(Joey gives him a thumbs up and heads for the chicken.)
Ross: So you said yes to him, and you just had our baby?
Monica: (looking at Chandler sleeping with a balloon in his mouth) So sexy. (Waking him up.) Honey.
(Chandler leans over to fall asleep on the mans shoulder next to him, only the man catches his attempt.)
Ross: (interrupting him) YeahNo-but-but-but-but! Were just gonna go home and take a shower. Now, thats not scary right?
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Marcel is hanging from Celia's hair, and she is screaming, trying to get him off.]
(She kisses him on the cheek, and he kisses her back on the mouth.)
Ross: Ah I had a little thing with Joey, if you think this is bad you should see him.
Phoebe: I don't know. I'll just handle itI'll ask you to talk to him!
Phoebe: (interrupts him) No, no, we don't really have time for this right now. Okay, we have to keep Chandler away from my bedroom.
Ross: Rach, I told you, you can't call him every time any little thing comes up.
Rachel: Oh, great! Well, then I'm gonna take Emma to see him. I wonder why Ross said that he died.
Monica: That I was going to eat him.
Joey: (Checks him out) Okay! (Walks over to his table and sits down with him)
Ross: Yeah well, he's not gonna get this one. Ben is way cuter than that kid. I mean look at him, look at you, (Starts to whine like a baby and Joey just glares at him.)
Emily: I cant believe theyre doing that to him! I told them to go easy on him!
Joey: (To Ross) Were not peeking? (Follows him.)
Rachel: Oh, I really liked him. (Looks at Ross) Yeah, it was really, really, really good.
Phoebe: No not you, Dr. Drake Remoray. You can ask him questions and see whats he like. People tell doctors everything.
(Phoebe and Mike look at him, and he goes over to the counter.)
(Rachel decides not to give up that easily and follows him to his apartment and bangs on the door, which he opens.)
Joey: oh why don't you fly out there and surprise him.
Phoebe: (pushing Monica back onto the couch) Its so inspired! Look at him! Look at him go!
Chandler: Ill take it! All right look, I gotta know. Are you finished with me? (Janice shakes her head no) Are you finished with him? (Janice shakes her head no) Do you still love him? (Janice shakes her head yes) Do you still love me? (Janice shakes her head yes) All right look, (grabs the bag) Im gonna need an actual answer here okay, so which is it, him or me? (his phone starts to ring)
(Monica just looks at him, and Rachel wants to laugh)
Ross: Good yeah just be honest with him.
Phoebe: I'm not going along with some lie you made Ross, No I'm just gonna be honest with him.