words in movies
[Scene: Chandler's office in Tulsa.�� His assistant is showing him photographs.]
CHANDLER: Joey just called.� He's got courtside Knicks tickets for him and me tomorrow night.
MONICA: Tell him that you haven't seen your wife in a long time.� Tell him that having a long-distance relationship is really difficult.� Tell him that what little time we have is precious.
ROSS: We don't.� But I thought it would be nice to get to know him.� You know, maybe have a little dinner, drinks, conversation.
CHANDLER: Because I didn't know how to tell him that I couldn't go to the Knicks game.� So, I just told him that I had to stay in Tulsa.
MONICA: So, you lied to him?
JOEY: (outside the apartment door) I just heard him!
CHANDLER: (softly) Can you . . . hear him . . . now?
JOEY: I heard him again!
CHANDLER: Don't you think it's better for him to think that you're cheating on me, than for him to think that I'm cheating on him?� (Monica tips her head slightly as if asking "Did you hear yourself?")� I heard it.
MONICA: I don't want him to think that I'm having an affair.
(Mike leaves.� Ross closes the door behind him.)
(Joey gives him and odd look.� Monica gives a similar look.)
MONICA: (suddenly starts issuing him out) Ah, it's an honest mistake.� It could happen to anyone.� All right, see ya.
MIKE: I'll get it.� (He lunges across Ross's lap on the sofa to reach the phone.� Ross stares at him with wide eyes.)� Hello?� Ross's place.� Mike speaking.� (pause.� Hands phone to Ross)� It's for you.
MONICA: It's gonna be so hot!� (She kisses him.)
(Ross smiles slightly.� Then he gives a single nod that lifts him to his feet.� He exits the coffee shop.
ROSS: Let me hold him for a sec. There. (Ben stops crying) Huh? There we are.
CHANDLER: We'll watch him.
CHANDLER: No, I got him.
JOEY: You wanna smell him?
CHANDLER: Oh, seriously you want him?
JOEY: Yeah right after we stole his lunch money and gave him a wedgie. What's the matter with you, he's parking the car.
(Everyone looks at him, confused.)
PHOEBE: [handing him the papers] Here you go. You know what, I just have one more question, um, if you had figured this out sooner and um, I had been around, do you think that I would have been the one who. . . no, um, I'm sorry, don't tell me, I don't th ink either answer would make me feel better.
CHANDLER: Ok, but can you tell him that, because he thinks he's too pink.
ROSS: Ooh, I, I'm so sick of missing stuff. Ya know, I want him for more than, than a day, I want him for a whole weekend. No listen , I mean, I feel like-
JOEY: I'm him.
(Rachel shows Ross the definition on the dictionary, giving him a smug look; then she squints at the dictionary, as though unsure what to make out of it)
Rachel: Ross? All this time? Well, I've got to talk to him. (gets up to leave)
Chandler: Joey! Joe! (Sees that hes not here and starts investigating. He picks up the bag of chips.) Full bag. (He picks up the beer.) Beers still cold. Something terrible mustve happened here! (He decides its not that important; sits down on Rosita, and the back falls off causing him to flip over.) Oh no-no-no-no-no-no! (Runs over to Stevie.) Stevie, I was never here! (Runs out.)
Joey: Yeah uh, Phoebe! Look umm, I want to apologize about before, okay? We were being jerks. Parkers a nice guy and Id like to get to know him.
[Rachel gets up and opens the door, yelling after him.]
Rachel: (interrupting him) Hi! Im gal pal Rachel Green, and if you want the dirt, Im the one you come too. This might be Joeys baby (rubbing her stomach), who knows? Im just kiddingSeriously, (leans into the cassette recorder Shelley is using) gal pal Rachel Green.
(Chandler hands him the cigarette, and he takes a long drag.)
Chandler: (coming up under center, just like a real quarterback does, and puts his hands between Rosss legs.) Twenty-three!! Seventy-four!! (Ross stands up and looks at him) You wanna go shotgun?
Rachel: Right,.. well,.. we never actually got to that... Oh, it was just so nice to see him again, y'know? It was comfortable, it was familiar... it was just nice!
Emily: I uh, Ive been to his apartment and he wasnt there, and uh. I need to talk to him, so do you have any idea where he is?
Joey: Hey! Well I hope it goes better than the last time you did it for that girl downstairs, remember? (Phoebe glares at him.)
Chandler: And here is the bottle of wine for you to bring over tonight. (Hands it to him.) You were also going to buy Monica flowers but you couldnt afford it, because you paid dinner last night.
Chandler: Joey ate my last stick of gum, so I killed him. Do you think that was wrong?
Ross: (picking up the slip of paper) Hello! What's this? Oh right its that girl's phone number. (Rachel ignores him) Yeah-yeah, there it is, just a phone number a really hot girl gave me. (He holds it so that Rachel can see it, she continues to ignore him) It's no big deal, I mean it is her home phone number, but...(Rachel still ignores him) Whoa! (Throws it in her lap) Whoa-whoops, I almost lost this baby! Yeah, the lovely Amanda gives me her number and I-I go and drop it. (He waves it in front of Rachel's face. Then suddenly Phoebe has to sneeze and Rachel quickly grabs the slip of paper and gives it to Phoebe for her to sneeze into.)
Ross: I can't believe you'd rather go out with him than me.
PHOEBE: [showing her pictures] OK, look, see, this is him. My mother gave me this picture before she died, same guy.
MONICA: Well, maybe the mailman liked the cookies, we just didn't give him enough.
MICH: Well, you know, there's no one way really, it's just, you know, whatever it takes so that you can finally say to him, "I'm over you."
CHANDLER: Hey listen, we've gotta go, I promised Richard we'd meet him downstairs.
[Scene: Phoebe's massage parlour, she has Steve on the table, and is giving him an extra-painful massage.]
Monica: Then Ive gotta go. Bye. (kisses him and starts to walk out)
Ross: Hey, this- (she gives him a look and the guys back off) Heyy...
RADIO: The next one's dedicated to Rachel from Ross. Rachel, he wants you to know he's deeply sorry for what he did and he hopes you can find it in your heart to forgive him. (With or Without You plays)
RACH: Noooo, no, I'm not mad at him. I'm.. I'm not really anything at him anymore.
Chandler: Hello? Hello? Oh, hey Charlie. Did anybody else hear? ... What? Susan got it?? How? Oh man, I would have slept with him!! .. Alright, bye. (hangs up)
ROSS: Here, go nuts. [gives him the Slinky and goes and sits with others at the couches]
Monica: No, look, she's obviously unstable, okay? I mean she's thinking about running out on her wedding day. (Rachel slowly turns and glares at her.) (Realizing what she just said.) Okay, fine! But I mean, look at the position she's putting him in! What's he gonna do? Ross is gonna run over there on the wedding day and break up the marriage?! I mean, who would do that?! (Rachel again turns and glares at her in disgust.) Okay, fine, all right, but that's y'know, it's different! Although it did involve a lot of the same people.
Joey: Yeah! I was thinking about maybe going upstairs and taking a little nap on my couch. (Raises his eyebrows, questioning Ross to see if he wants to join him.)
RACHEL: Oh, yeah sure, Ok. [she takes Ben and holds him at arms length]
MONICA: Oh, you are so great! [kisses him] Thank you!
Ross: My friend Bethel rescued him from some lab.
Rachel: Yeah, just so weird seeing him like that, you know? I mean he is a doctor, you don't expect doctors to get sick!
Joey: Oh yeah, thats just a little something for my huge gay fan base. (Winks at him.)
PHOEBE: That's him.
Rachel: I mean I think Id say no to anybody right now. (Hearing this Gunther swoops back to cleaning tables.) Oh, but it was so strange. I mean Im standing there with this charming, cute guy, whos asking me to go out with him, which Im allowed to do, and I felt guilty. Y'know, like Id be cheating on Ross or something.
Monica: Oh, you came to tell him you love him! I knew it! (Points at Chandler) I was right! (Points to Emily) Im right, right?
JOEY: [Monica walks back in the kitchen] Ok ok ok ok. Monica, we'll bring him, but only if he takes the Jaguar.
ROSS: Sometimes I wonder if I did the right thing, ya know, giving him away.
Rachel: I know, isn't he great? It's so nice to finally be in a fun relationship, y'know? There's nothing boring about him, and ah, I bet he's never set foot in a museum.
(Rachel picks up a newspaper and starts beating him with it.)
JOEY: You gave him cookies?
Monica: Thanks. (Goes to fetch him.)
RACHEL: Oh yeah. I used to babysit him. Hey, how's his dad?
MONICA: I'm sorry that I made you stop seeing him.
MONICA: Ya know, you had no right to go out with him.
RACHEL: OK, well, bye. [kisses him]
Phoebe: Hey, buddy. Hows my favorite dog, huh? Hows my favorite dog? (the dog doesnt move) Youre subdued. (to Joey) Did you give him a beer?
RACHEL: Wow, so why don't you go talk to him?
Bitter lady: (now yelling) Well, you're not gonna get one! Because in life there are no intermissions, people. Chapter 7: Divorce is a 4 letter word. (Now standing right in front of Chandler and bending down almost to his level as if speaking to him, yelling even louder) How could he leave me?!?!
Joey: (To Chandler) Okay look, Chandler, if this (Motions back and forth indicating the arrangement.) you have got to listen! (Tugs on his ear.) (Chandler glares at him.) Youre gonna throw that juice at me, arent ya?
RACHEL: Oh, what do you, you want me to stop seeing him, is that what you want?
RACHEL: OK, well, bye-bye again. [kisses him again]
MONICA: Well, bye for me too. [kisses him]
MONICA: Oh Rachel don't, don't you dare, don't, don't. Tell him I cook.
Chandler: Hey, I didnt make up the rules. Now, after you receive the doubling bonus, you get uh, one card. Now that one card could be worth $100 bringing your total to 1,500. (Joey gets excited.) Dont get to excited because thats not gonna happen unless you getNo way! (He takes the top card, which is the two of clubs. Of course, any card wouldve won. Chandler pays him.)
RACHEL: Well, I'm sorry I went out with him when I knew you liked him.
PHOEBE: OK, no. For your information I'm going to see him so I can put all those feeling behind me. OK, and the reason I'm dressed like this is because I think it's nice to look nice for your gay husband.
RACH: [looks at him] Huh, Bob Saget?
JOEY: What about Ross? I mean, are you still mad at him cause he made that list about you?
Elizabeth: (To Ross) You want some?! (Starts to squirt the Kamikaze at him.)
CHANDLER: What am I gonna do, huh? [Joey walks in behind him]
Joey: (bends down to see and the cactus pricks him in the ass) AWCH! That's why.
RACHEL: Yes, but you can not tell Ross 'cause I want to surprise him.
(Gary closes the door behind him.)
PHOEBE: OK, so what, you're just never gonna see him again?
PHOEBE: Oh, you are so much the smitten kitten. You should ask him out.
Joey: Plus, y'know, I think it should be Joe. Y'know, Joey makes me sound like I'm, I dunno, this big. (Waitress looks at him funny) Which I'm not.
Monica: Hes great! I mean we have such a good time together! Hes so funny, and sooo sweet, and Im not attracted to him at all!!
ROSS: Well just hold him like you'd hold a football.
Ross: Oh, hey y'know, they-they really overcharge you for that stuff. (Rachel glares at him.) But who cares?! Because it's all on me! (Rachel reaches into the fridge and pulls out two handfuls of those mini booze bottles.) (Watching her.) That is, one big drink!
Joey: Hey! No-no-no-no, you cant take him away from me! I got a great partner to pick up girls with! Finally!!
Rachel: Look he doesnt have any brothers or sisters, somebodys gonna have to teach him this stuff! And I havent taught him anything that a normal 6-year-old doesnt know anyway!
MR. GELLER: I tell you, I've never seen him this happy.
JOEY: Hey I- [she cuts him off with a kiss]
Ross: No! The guy is mean. I mean really mean. I think you should stay away from him.
RACHEL: You want me to just call him up and tell him that you're seeing him instead? That's what you want?
Chandler: With the balled-up socks? I figured you taught him that.
MONICA: No, a doctor of meat. Of course he's a real doctor. And he's handsome, and he's sweet, and know you'd like him. [she puts her arm around Richard]
Ross: That is a great idea! And! I know Ugly Naked Guy because we've been watching him for like five years so that gives me back my edge! Oh, let's see now he had the trampoline.
Phoebe: Hes just such a great guy Im so excited about him.
MR. GELLER: What? I'm kidding. You know I'd never let him touch the Porsche.
JOEY: Hey, cut him some slack. It was Chandler's idea.
Ross: Thanks. (Joey hugs him) OK.
Monica: (turns his back to the stairs) Oh, it's a great party! Great food. Y'know, most parties it's all chips and salsa, chips and salsa. (As she's saying this Rachel tries to head downstairs but is blocked by people coming upstairs. She quickly retreats back up the stairs.) (Sees that she has to keep him distracted longer.) So umm, what's this? (Points to his plate.)
PHOEBE: OK, I wasn't in love with him and I was just helping out a friend.
Rachel: Oh, I found him. He was Paolo's cat.
(He walks over behind Ross, thinks about it for a moment, and gives him a big hug.)
PHOEBE: I know, yeah. Ok, talk to him. [leaves]
Phoebe: Look, I feel really bad about how I freaked you out before, so I called the father and asked him to meet you here so you can tell him. Go!