words in movies
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's apartment, Ross is cleaning out the fridge. Joey walks from his room. He looks like he just woke up.]
Joey: And thats Wednesday. (He reclines in his chair.) Ohh.
Rachel: I just saw Danny getting on the subway with a girl and he had his arm around her.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Joey is trying to write his movie, Chandler is playing a game on the counter by trying to flip a ping pong ball with a spoon into a nearby bowl.]
Joey: Chandler, I can't be playing games, Ross is gonna be home soon. And I have to write five whole pages if I'm gonna stick to his schedule.
Joey: Uh yeah, right here. (He punches his fist through the wall next to the door.)
(Another guy walks by and throws his light cigarette butt in the bucket.)
Chandler: (entering from his room carrying a fire extinguisher and wearing oven mitts) Oh yeah, it's great! See you take a tennis ball, a bowl, and some lighter fluidOp! Op! (He puts out a small fire which has re-ignited in his room.)
Ross: No! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah! You can have this back when the five pages are done! (After Joey walks past, Ross throws the ball down in pain.) Ahh! (Chandler shows him the burn spots on his oven mitts.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is cleaning the foosball table, Joey is working on his script.]
Chandler: (entering from his bedroom) Guys, come on! Let's go! The puck drops in 20 minutes! Come on, Joe!
Chandler: The only reason you're doing this to Joey is because you're bored. Okay, it's not his fault that you're unemployed.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Joey, and Chandler are listening to a story being told by Danny and his sister.]
Danny: so we finally get to the top of the mountain and airhead here (His sister) forgets the camera!
Krista: Oh, this is so good (A piece of cake.) you have got to try it. (She takes some on her finger and feeds it to Danny. Then takes a little more and does it again. Meanwhile, the rest of the gang stares on in shock. Then they pick up a part of it and some filling falls into his lap.)
Krista: Here, I'll get it. (She grabs a napkin and tries to wipe it up. The thing that gets the rest of the gang going is that she's whipping awfully close to his crotch. In fact, she is whipping his crotch. Chandler's about to come out of his chair.)
(Another man walks up with a drink in his hand, Phoebe stops him too.)
Phoebe: Whoa-whoa-whoa! No drinks near the bucket! Set it down over there and then you can make a contribution! (The guy starts to walk away with a hurt look on his face.) And you can leave the hurt bunny look over there too! (Her boss and a co-worker walk up.) Hi Bob! (The same old lady from before walks bye.) (To the old lady.) I thought I told you to get outta here!
(They both throw the scripts in his face.)
Joey: And what is his name?
Joey: Oh yeah? Then how come I keep(He notices that the marker board they use has been left on the entertainment center and holds up his discovery.)
Ross: (patting his clothes like he is looking for his wallet) No, no hes not.
Ross: Well I I told him that if he ever hurt you I would hunt him down and kick his ass! (The girls all laugh.) What?! What?! What is the matter with everybody?! I am serious! I would kick his ass! (The laugh harder.)
Monica: How cool is this?! We know three down! Im touching three down! (She has her hand on his shoulder.)
Rachel: Im just saying that yknow, someday Ross is gonna meet somebody and hes gonna have his own life. Right?
Phoebe: Although he does play with himself in his sleep.
[Cut to the hallway, Chandler is standing in front of his door.]
The Cooking Teacher: Okay Joey, youre up next. (Tries one of his cookies.) This are good! This is amazing! You get an A!
The Director: Okay. (to Alex) All right uh, Alex now when Joey says his line, "Take good care of your Momma son," thats your cue to cry. Got it? (Alex nods yes.) All right, lets do this.
Monica: Really! (They hug and kiss) All right? Let's forget about this going home stuff and celebrate our anniversary. (She picks up his suitcase.) Okay, this is empty.
Monica: (looking at Chandler sleeping with a balloon in his mouth) So sexy. (Waking him up.) Honey.
[Cut to later in that episode. Chandler is in his bathroom with Monica, and hes panicking on how far Phoebe is pushing him.]
Ross: What?! It is?! (He tries to quickly remove his gloves, but runs into trouble and finally throws them off of his hands like a hockey player in a fight and grabs Rachels belly.)
[Scene: A Boardroom, Chandler keeps drifting off to sleep at his meeting.]
Chandler: Were moving to Tulsa! (Makes a excited expression on his face)
Rachel: Well, I... you know, I-I-I don't know what to say... I mean, I never thought of you as a guy who needed his men to be men. You know, 'cause I gotta tell you Ross, it not like you just came in from branding cattle.
(She does Ross's little gesture. In response Ross puts his hands behind his neck with his arms sticking straight out and starts flapping them together.)
Ross: (Enters from his bedroom)Who the hell was that?!
Rachel: Oh you know what, you sound just like his wife!
Phoebe: Mike? Okay! What's his last name?
Phoebe: Come on, give me something. What's his name?
Joey: Look, can I just stop you right there for a second? When people do this (Makes quote marks with his fingers.) I dont really know what that means. (Ross just looks at him) You were saying?
Joey: (Checks him out) Okay! (Walks over to his table and sits down with him)
Chandler: Yeah! (Takes it off his hand and throws it behind the night-stand.)
(Monica Enters. Chandler is in the kitchen with his laptop)
Chandler: Yea yea. (Pulls the balloon out of his mouth)
(Joey opens the door and takes Chandler's suitcase into his own apartment.)
Joey raises his hand: Uh.. who has to die for me to get her?
Mike: Okay, when I got divorced, I didn't think I'd feel this way about someone for a really long time... Then again, I didn't think I'd meet someone like you... and... this may be crazy soon, but... I want you to have this... (He tries to get something from his pocket, but it's not that easy... Phoebe looks in a "what's happening" face to him. He finally has found something) No, not... that's gum. (He digs in a little more.) Ooh, five bucks... I love it when that happens, you know... Think no note's there...
[Scene: Chandler's office. Chandler is asleep in his chair holding a paper in one hand and a pen in the other. Joey walks in, waking up Chandler who covers by pretending to write on the paper.]
Phoebe: Yeah, Ive discovered that Ross forgot to take his brain medicine, uh, now without it, uh, in the brain of Ross, uh womens names are interchangeable, through-through no fault of his own.
(Joey says nothing, but enters the room and kisses her. They are kissing passionately only to stop for a brief "oh" from Rachel. They continue their passionate kiss and Joey closes the door with his foot and it shuts in the camera's "face". And that's the end of the ninth season.)
Amy: You bitch. You just think you're so perfect. With your new baby and your, your small apartment. <directs this to Ross who in turns throws the towel in his hand down on the table> Well let me tell you something. Your baby isn't even that cute.
(Steve goes over to look at Ross who's trying to look cool, but has some frosting on his lip.)
Ross: Oh well thats great, so I guess this is ah, this is good bye then. Huh? (picks a pad up off Rachels desk and tosses it into his box) Good bye.
Monica: (gets a pack out of his jacket)
Ross: HEY, SHE'S FAST!! OKAY?!! (Chandler is so shocked at Ross's outburst that he drops his spoon and backs up) Oh! You-you think you can be beat me? Let's go! Outside!!
Ross: (tightening his tie) And so do I.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's and Ross's, Chandler is entering and when he closes the door Joey pops his head out of the fort like before, but this time he's wearing a cowboy hat.]
Phoebe: No, no, it's not that. (they go sit on the couch) Uhm... Remember when you asked me if I was seeing someone and I said no? Well, uhm... I am. His ... his name is Mike.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning. Chandler is sitting and staring at his phone. Monica enters and creeps up next to Chandler.]
Rachel: Oh yeah, it's fine, it's fine. Sandy was just... was just telling me about how he proposed to his fiancée and it was just sooo beautiful.
Sandy: You know, I can't tell it again... (wipes his tears again)
(Joey howls in pain and holds his eye.)
Joey: (entering) Okay, I'm in my sweat pants. Bring on the food! (Sees that Chandler has a worried look on his face) What's the matter?
Mike: Your lipstick's on his mouth.
Rachel: You know, he was just doing his job...
Ross: (shakes his head) Oh my God!
Sandy: What is it...? (Ross hesitates) Please...? (he tilts his head)
Sandy: hmmm... (and shakes his head)
Joey all nervous and looking down and fiddling with his ear: Oh.. My sister's raccoon.
[This starts another series of flashbacks about Joeys hobbies. The first one is from Episode 703: The One With Phoebes Cookies, Rachel is teaching Joey how to sail his boat, the Mr. Bowmont.]
Chandler: Oh come on! He said he was going to do my inseam, and he ran his hand up my leg, and then, there was definite...
<Ross nods his head and points at her, in a yes manner>
Policeman: Its Petty. (He grabs Rosss license.) Ill be right back with your ticket. (Walks back to his car.)
[Scene: Chandler's office in Tulsa.�� His assistant is showing him photographs.]
Joey: Noooo... Three Blind Mice goes like this... (he puts his fingers in position on the recorder)
Rachel: What if, um, if he calls his own cell phone to find out who found it and I answer and we start talking and we fell in love. I mean wouldn't that be a great story? Kind of like a fairy tale for the digital age.
Fergie: Joey says you dont really like his hat, but I think its kinda dashing.
(Rachel turns and looks at the group on the couch and they move over. Chandler measures the room theyve made with his arm and decides its not enough and they all move over again.)
(At this point a stream of obscenities burst forth from Phoebes mouth just in time for Ben and Ross to enter and hear most of it, and in slow motion Ross tries to shield his innocent son from Phoebes vulgarity.)
Doug: So, in conclusion, the lines all go up (points to the chart), so Im happy. Great job team! Tomorrow at 8:30. (They start to leave) Phil! Nice job. (smacks him on the butt) Stevens! Way to go! (smacks him on the butt) Joel-burg, you maniac! I love ya! (smacks him on the butt) (Chandler walks up) Bing! Good job, couldnt have done it without ya. (he shakes his hand)
JOEY: Yeah?� (His eyes bug out.)
Monica: Oh, about five minutes. Right now theyre interviewing his opponent. Apparently he trains by going to Iran and pulling the arms off thieves.
MIKE: No.� Just his mom.
(Robert leans back on the arm of the chair and allows Chandler to see up his shorts and sees little Robert. Chandler is horrified by this view.)
Ross: But thats not enough. So So heres a key to my apartment. (Hands her his key.)
Ross: Look, it was accident! Okay? I-I feel bad that it happened, but I swear, I didnt even watch it! Anyway, here. (He takes the tape out of his coat pocket.) I thought you might be more comfortable destroying it yourself. (Tosses her the tape.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is eating breakfast, Joey quietly opens his bedroom door.]
CHANDLER: (Hangs his jacket over the suitcase, locks the door, then turns to Monica.)� Oh well, look at you.
Phoebe: (running up) Okay. Okay, heres what were gonna do. Okay, Im gonna break into this mini-van and put it in neutral. You guys push it forward so Ross can drive out of his spot. Okay? All right, here we go. (She opens her coat and reveals that thing car thieves use to break into cars as Ross jumps in behind the wheel. She inserts the device, unlocks the door, opens it, and the alarm goes off.) Haul ass!!!! (Runs off.)
Joey: Alright, alright, hey yknow fair is fair, (he pretends to wash his hands) if youre right, youre right, what can I say, but hey oh no! (He throws water on the guys pants)
Chandler: Say your son never feels connected to you, as one. Say all of his relationships are affected by this.
Rachel: Yeah well what are you, his boyfriend?
Mike: No, no, to test his neck strength.
Rachel: Oh no no no no no, Gavin can't, he already has plans, most likely with his mother.
Joey: (entering) (He clears his throat to get their attention.) Hey, Rach? Sorry to interrupt but umm, Phoebe wanted me to talk to you about a trip or something.
Ross: Okay umm, why dont we all take a seat, yknow? And uh, and Ill get us all some uh some coffees(He goes to pull out Elizabeths chair, but Paul steps in)Yeah, why dont you. (Paul pulls out her chair) Uh and you guys can talk about whatever, whatever you want. Yknow? Whatever pops into your head. (He turns his back to Paul and Elizabeth and points to himself for Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe. Then he goes to order the coffee.)
Rachel: All right, all right, you're right, I won't do anything with Joey, I just thought that we (Joey enters the hall) Ok so that would be two cups of tarragon, one pound of baking soda and one red onion? (Joey enters his apartment)
(Chandler leans over to fall asleep on the mans shoulder next to him, only the man catches his attempt.)
Monica: "To take you to his mansion in the sky-y?"
(Steve makes a face as if his mouth is too dry.)
[Cut back to Joey about to leave for his audition for Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.]
Rachel: (gasps) Oh, he brought her back to his apartment.
Rachel: Oh, ju-ju-just stay calm. Just be calm. For all he knows we're just hanging out together. Right? Just be nonchalant. (Joey like stands at attention with his chest forward and his hands on his sides, looking up at the ceiling with his lips pouted.) That's not nonchalant!
Chandler: Phoebe, did you see that?! He totally checked you out! He is so cute! (Looking at his tea.) Mine has a picture of The Village People, what does that mean?
[Sequence 3: Chandler throws a pass to Ross, who catches it. Phoebe starts screaming and runs up to him and tries to tackle him. But all she ends up doing is running around his waist and screaming.]
(Ross walks in, eating cotton candy. Monica nudges Chandler who hides the picture in his magazine. Ross sits down on the chair, he seems kinda out of it.)
(He points at Steve who's sitting at another table. He's staring at his hands.)
(He puts his hand on her shoulder.)
(He walks out quickly with Emma in his arms.)
Ross: Oh! (He bangs his fists together.)
Rachel: Don't look at me I never get his jokes.
[Cut to Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Monica is getting Chandler ready for his half of the plan.]
RACHEL: When I was um, 7, I crashed my bike right out in front of his house and to stop me from crying he kissed me right here. [points to the tip of her nose]
[Scene: Phoebes Herbal Guys office, Ross is there about his thing. Ross is looking around the exam room, and he goes over to a large bank of drawers, pulls one out and almost spills it as the herbalist, Guru Saj, enters.]
[Scene: The hallway between the bedrooms. Ross is coming upstairs and stops between two doors. He looks at the one on the right, then he looks at the one on his left, thinks about it, and goes in the one on his right.]
[Scene: Hallway, Joey get out of his appartment and Chandler jumps out of his]
[Scene: Ross's Apartment: Ross is doing something on his laptop when Chandler walks in]