words in movies
CHANDLER: No he's, he's alright, just uh, he spends most of his time in his room.
WRITER: Makes up most of his lines. Son-of-a-. Yeah, well, write this jerkweed.
CHANDLER: Hey I didn't kill your fish. Look Eddie...[puts his hand on Eddie's shoulder] Would you look at what I'm doin' here. That can't be smart. So we're just gonna take this guy right off ya and put him here in Mr. Pocket. Tangellon? [picks up the fruit an tosses it to Eddie, it hits Eddie in the chest and falls]
RICHARD: No. You have got it completely wrong. John Savage was deerhunter, no legs, John Voit was coming home, couldn't feel his legs.
CHANDLER: Because he thinks I slept with his ex-girlfriend and killed his fish.
PHOEBE: Why would you kill his fish?
CHANDLER: Ok, good night. [walks towards his room] You big freak of nature.
[Ross comes out of Rachel's bedroom in her bathrobe and heads for the bathroom. On his way back, Richard comes out of Monica's bedroom in her bathrobe.]
(Phoebe wants to be angry with Joey, but as she watches him shaking his head in pain and disbelief, she knows that it isn't his fault.)
Chandler: Yes! (Hangs his head in shame.)
(We see that Ross is returning to his apartment with Jill.)
(She grabs his arm and drags him over to a table where three beautiful women are sitting. Now, Im going to go out on a limb and say that their names are Stephanie, Karin, and Meg. Okay, so I looked at the credits. Of course, only Meg is named later on, so Ill have to guess who is Stephanie and who is Karin. But, well cross that bridge when we come to it.)
Chandler: Hey. Do you want this scone? (Holds up his plate) It came for me but it would probably rather sleep with you!
(She goes to close the door, but Chandler puts his foot it in.)
(Ross continues to climb down. He puts his other foot further down on Joeys torso, but that doesnt work very well and hes forced to wrap his legs around Joey. Which then forces Joey to get a nice and close view of Rosss crotch.)
The Teacher: How would you characterize the theme of this book, uh let's see here (looks at his attendance sheet), Rachel Green?
JOEY: Yeah, but then the guy opens his beer and those girls run at him, so, everything seems to work out OK.
Rachel: Yep. Oh, yeah, look you great. (She puts her arm in his and checks how they would look as a couple.) Oh yeah. Yeah, this looks great. (Pause) Umm, so you like it?
Ross: Good-good, Im-Im married. (Shows her his ring.)
Rachel: But! Dont you have to give him his money back?
ESTELLE: Joey, I'm gonna tell you the same thing I told Al Minser and his pyramid of dogs. Take any job you can get and don't make on the floor.
Chandler: Was his question whats more boring than him?
Monica: Youre his bitch.
Monica: Joey just hired Chandler to be his assistant!
(the Charity guy smiles wanting to take the check, but Phoebe pulls it back again. His smile fades.)
Phoebe: Oh youre my biggest fan? Ive always wanted to meet you! Hi! (Shakes his hand.) Sure! Yeah! (Signs the autograph)
Ross: Hey Im sorry to do this to you again but uh, is there any way you can look after Ben for a little bit? I-Ive got this meeting at school. And-and he-he asked for his uh, Fun Aunt Rachel, so
Chandler: Oh, shes got you running errands, yknow, picking up wedding dresses (Laughs and makes like Indiana Jones and his whip) Wah-pah!
Phoebe: Okay. (He grabs his gun and shoots the bird.) Oh! Oh no.
(Ross, urged on by his team-mates, jumps on top of the scrum and falls headfirst into the middle, leaving his feet sticking straight up.)
Rachel: Hey! Joey, would you mind giving me and Ross a hand moving his couch?
Rachel: Well, you might want to tell him it sounds like his wife is (whispers) gay.
Joey: (shrugging his shoulders to go along with it) Vomiting stories are funny...
Chandler: (sticking his head back in) What?
Joey: Oh, no! (Starts that screaming thing again. Rachel stops him by pulling his fingers out of his ears.)
(He opens his present to find Phoebes sock bunny from earlier.)
[Scene: That same plane cabin, Ross is working on a crossword puzzle and Rachel is asleep against his shoulder. She shifts a little bit and Ross suddenly gets an idea. An evil idea when he looks at his pen. Then we have a little time lapse, the plane has landed and everyone is disembarking. The flight attendant is saying bye-bye to everyone.]
(The drinks arrive, and Chandler downs his espresso in one gulp.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, later that morning. The porn is still on, there are three women getting ready to shave the chest of some guy. Joey and Chandler are wondering why that guy is letting them shave his chest, and Monica and Rachel are eating breakfast at the foosball table.]
Joey: I know! (Shrugs his shoulders.)
Rachel: Ohhhhhhhh God. (climbs off his back)
(Camera goes to Joey. The clock is at 20 sec. The word "Legislature" appears. He looks at it blank faced and his eyes shift between Henrietta and his screen)
(Joey nods yes, but suddenly realizes what he did and runs out of the apartment and back to his place.)
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe is walking along with the diplomat (Sergei) and his translator (Mischa).]
Dr. Wesley: (with evil dripping off his tongue) Remoray!
Monica: And Nancy said that it's really under price, because the guy lost his job and has to move in with his parents!
Chandler: Hmm, lets see if it comes up this time. (He looks at his cards and shrugs.)
(They all go down the stairs, but Ross turns around, looking like his in a coma. The others also turns around to get him.)
Rachel: Well, someone that has his own tux, or has the ability to rent a tux.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, his doorbell is ringing and hes running to answer it while doing up his pants.]
(Joey runs up field and fakes out Ross and scores a touchdown. His team all celebrates the touchdown.)
Monica: Oh God! Hes gonna come by and borrow some candles for his big date!
[Scene: Chandler's bedroom, Chandler wakes up, and finds someone else's hand on his chest. He rolls over and is shocked to see Janice there.]
Chandler: (looks down at his clothes) Am I naked again?!
(He looks around and flashes her his badge and she laughs.)
Joey: (slaps Wayne on his cheek) How do you do there, Wayne? (Backs away.)
Joey: But Jos got a crush on Laurie. (Ross nods his head) Oh. You mean its like a girl-girl thing? Cause that is the one thing missing from The Shining.
Paul: (laughs then checking his watch) 1 minute 50 seconds.
Rachel: Well, yknow he lost his keys so he was looking for them
(Lorraine leaves. Joey shakes his head as though to say, 'It can't be the same Janice.' Janice enters.)
(Monica gets behind him and in combination with his sliding the chair forward and her pushing with her leg manages to get up to the table.)
Ross: Joey?! Joey!! (He runs into his bedroom.)
Chandler: Yeah, Ross sure is a great guy, yknow Ive always felt that how a young man turns out is a reflection on his father.
Chandler: (to his children) Look around, you guys. This was your first home. And it was a happy place, filled with love and laughter. But more important, because of rent control, it was a friggin' steal!
Ross: Okay, okay. Uh, well uh, Rachel is going to need to yell sweet nothings (Paul enters) in his ear.
Monica: How can you tell? You can only see the back of his head!
(Rachel yanks on his legs again and he groans in pain.)
[Scene: Ross walks in the hallway to his apartment and stops in front of his own door. Now he hears two recorders playing a song. When he enters, Sandy and Joey are playing the recorder and Rachel listens.]
(Ross slams his head down on the table.)
Janine: (She takes his hands) 3, 2, 1. (She kisses him) Happy New Year.
[Scene: The Dry Cleaners, Joey is trying to get his picture up again.]
Chandler: (sticking his head in the door) Okay to come in?
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! You just take a big, big swing. Now, dont hold back. (He dons his protective helmet (Why, I have no clue.) and Phoebe picks up a wooden baseball bat and starts to swing as Chandler and Monica enter.)
Joey: Great! (Takes his coffee and leaves.)
Phoebe: Oh, if thats what you want you then you really should run his head under hot water and bang his head against a table.
Mrs. Tedlock: Yes. Well, Mr. Kostelick wants you to stop by his office at the end of the day.
Ross: Sure! Here. (Hands her his keys.)
[Scene: Another hospital room, Joey has now been admitted and his doctor is about to break the bad news to him, Monica, and Chandler.]
Chandler: Because, I-I shouldve called! Yknow if I had just called her after our big, stupid fight, she never wouldve gone out with Nick, and they wouldve ended up in bed together. I threw her at his man nipples!
Rachel: Oh Mon, listen I have to ask! Okay, Joey Tribbiani invited me back to his apartment, now does he do this with a lot of girls?
Male Jeweler: Uh yes, I have these two rather beautiful $5 bills. (Holds them up from his pocket.)
Phoebe: Oh my God! You got off easy! When my friend Silvie's husband said someone else's name in bed, she cursed him and turned his thingy green.
[Scene: Chandlers gym, He and Ross are there to cancel his membership.]
(Joey exits as Chandler shakes his head.)
Ross: Oh. (Starts to get his money)
Paul: Joey! (Goes over and hugs Joey and picks him off of his feet.)
Cecilia: That was good, that was really good. But I-I think your hands maybe a little off, they should be maybe right like (She grabs the back of his neck and kisses him passionately causing them to fall onto the couch.)
Ross: (exiting the bathroom) That-that-thats all right, no honey, you take your time sweetie. Ill be right out here. (She slams the door in his face, to the gang) Shes just fixing her makeup.
Joey: Oh-whoa-wait, Gunther dont-dont forget your shirt. (He gives Gunther his shirt and Gunther leaves.)
Chandler: Thank God! (Grabs his card.)
Joey: All right, lets get me back up there! (Holds out his picture.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is entering. As he closes the door, Joey pokes his head up from a box enclosure built using the 2 chairs.]
Chandler: (with his mouthful) Hi Monica.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is showing Ross, Rachel, Joey, and Phoebe his engagement ring again.]
JULIE: Um, oh, I don't know. I mean, it's definitely weird not being with Ross, but I guess I'm doing OK. Actually I've got some of his stuff that he, um....
Phoebe: Hey! Check it out! This is unbelievable! Joey has been holding his breath for almost four minutes!
Kristen: Oh okay. But yknow what? Be careful. Because a guy was helping me before had to leave because he hurt his back.
JOEY: It's just that, I, I'm gonna miss Joseph. I liked him. His wife, she was hot. [Chadler pushes him out the door by the face.]
(Now they kiss passionately... and then Ross enters with Emma. They freeze, pull away and look at Ross who looks like he just can't believe what he's seeing. Joey straightens his shirt, and Rachel says I'm so-oo sorry, and presses her breasts together, just like Joey did before.)
Rachel: Im so glad, Im so glad you shared. (Feeling his shoulder.) And Im glad that youre done. What do you say we umm (Nods in the direction of the bedroom.)
Krista: Oh, this is so good (A piece of cake.) you have got to try it. (She takes some on her finger and feeds it to Danny. Then takes a little more and does it again. Meanwhile, the rest of the gang stares on in shock. Then they pick up a part of it and some filling falls into his lap.)
Chandler: Yeah, right here in my pocket. (Pats his pocket. Phoebe smiles, goes over to hug him, and removes the ring from his pocket.) Pheebs?
[Scene: The Dry Cleaners, Joey has brought in a bunch of laundry in another attempt to get his picture on the wall, but the dry cleaner isnt working right now. Instead, a beautiful woman is working.]
[Scene: Rachels Outer Office, Tag is sitting at his desk as Rachel walks up. She stops and watches him pick up the phone.]
Rachel: Ohh. (She touches his arm for support and likes what she feels) Ooh!
(Rachel blasts an air horn in his ear.)
Joey: See look, women, carrying the bag. (He puts it on his shoulder and looks at himself in the mirror and likes what he sees.) But it is odd how a women's purse looks good on me, a man.
Joey: Yes, its in my In in my pocket. (Paul hasnt dropped him yet.) (Chandler starts to reach for his front pocket.) My back pocket! My back pocket!