words in movies
Phoebe: Listen, I need to ask you something. Ok, you know how my step dad's in prison.
Phoebe: No, and so there's no one to walk me down the aisle and... well, I would just really love it if you would do it.
Phoebe: Yeah, you've... you know, sort of been like a dad to me. I mean, you've always, you know, looked out for me and shared your wisdom...
Joey: I am pretty wisdomous.
Joey: Are you kidding? Phoebe, I would be honored. (they hug)
Phoebe: Oh, thank you. I hope... I hope you know how much you mean to me.
Joey: (takes her hand) Listen, I hope... that you know... (has difficulty saying it) I don't want you to see your father cry, GO TO YOUR ROOM!
Phoebe: (her mobile phone rings) Oh, it's my wedding planner. She's driving me crazy! (she answers) Hello... Hey, ok, stop screaming! Ok? So, halibut. All right, so salmon, either way. I don't-I don't... it doesn't matter to me!
Phoebe: Well, I don't care, so you pick!
Monica: Did you just hung up on me? (she hangs up too) All right, look, I need you at the rehearsal dinner tonight at 1800 hours.
Phoebe: Why, I must have been in missile training the day they taught that.
Monica: Ok. Hold on. (her mobile phone rings) Geller here! No! I said it has to be there by 4 o'clock. Goodbye. (she hangs up) Oh, how hard it is to make an ice sculpture?
Phoebe: Ice sculpture? That sounds really fancy! I told you I just want a simple wedding.
Monica: Please... honey, leave the details to me. Now I wanna make this day as special for you as I can. Now, ok, I was thinking that the harpist should wear white.
Monica: I made her. (Phoebe looks shocked) Steel drums don't really say "elegant wedding". Nor does Marjorie's overwhelming scent.
Chandler: You look great. I'm so glad we're having this rehearsal dinner, you know, I so rarely get to practice my meals before I eat them.
Chandler: No stupid jokes. I thought that was for the actual wedding.
Ross: Oh, (he goes towards Mike in order to shake hands but Mike hugs him) hey, oh... I... I was-I was going for a hand shake.
Chandler: (to Rachel) You know what I just realized? We have no idea what we're doing in the wedding tomorrow.
Ross: Yeah, I thought we'd be groomsmen, but wouldn't they have asked us by now? When did they ask you to be their bridesmaid?
Ross: I wanna say it's not looking good.
Rachel: Well, this is really awkward (staring at the floor) Oh, and I can leave!
Chandler: This is like figure skating team all over again. (Phoebe and Ross glare at him astonished) I mean synchronized swimming. (they continue to glare) I mean- I mean the balance beam. (to Ross) Help me!
Phoebe: Oh! I though the pot stickers were supposed to be vegetarian!
Monica: Yeah, I changed them. I-I sent you a fax about it!
Phoebe: I don't have a fax machine.
Ross: I can't believe we're gonna be the only people that aren't in this wedding.
Chandler: I know, I hate being left out of things.
Mike: Yeah look, about tomorrow, I... I've got a question for ya. I just found out that one of my groomsmen had had an emergency and can't make it.
Mike: ...and I was wondering if... you know, maybe one of you guys... (Ross stands up)
Chandler: Pick me, I look great in a tux and I will not steal focus.
Ross: No, Mike, no, no. You wanna pick me, I mean... watch! (he mimics the groommens way of walking down the aisle with a bridesmaid) Huh?
Mike: You know, I really don't feel very comfortable making this decision. You know, Phoebe knows you better, I'm gonna let her choose. (he leaves)
Chandler: Oh, I will. But I will need a mirror... as he is me!
Chandler: (almost crying) I wouldn't know, I didn't make it! (they hug)
Mike: I intend to marry her.
Joey: Oh, a wiseacre. (Mike looks bewildered). No, no, no, I understand you plan to support your wife by playing the piano? Isn't that kind of unstable?
Phoebe: I decided to pee.
Phoebe: Oh no, no. I can't choose between you two! I love you both so much!
Phoebe: Oh, I don't wanna choose! It's (Rachel is walking by). Oh okay, wait. Rach! Listen I have a very special bridesmaid task for you today.
Rachel: What, what, what, no, I don't wanna do that.
Phoebe: All right, I guess I'll have to find a new bridesmaid.
Mike: Do I have a minute to go to the bathroom?
Monica: (very serious) It's 2101 and I am not amused. (pause). Ok, the bride and groom have a few words they'd like to say. (Everyone sits and Phoebe gets up)
Phoebe: Ok. Hello everyone and thank you all for being here tonight. So tomorrow's the big event and some of you might not know, but Mike and I didn't get off to the best start. (she reads a note). My friend Joey and I decided to fix each other up with friends so I, I... (Monica is twirling her hands in order to make Phoebe speed up her speech) oh I... hum... I gave it a lot of thought and I fixed him up with my friend Mary Ellen who couldn't be here tonight because... (Monica is tapping her watch with her finger) it's not important... she is in rehab. Anyway, so, ok, Joey said that he was fixing me up with his friend Mike, only he didn't have a friend Mike so he just brought, uhm, my Mike and, and (Monica clears her throat) but despite, you know... it got... it got good. Ok, I wanna take a moment to mention my mother, who couldn't be here...
Phoebe: And... moment's over! (Rachel, Joey and Chandler all turn and look disapprovingly towards Monica but she just shrugs it off) So, ok, uh, I can forget that. I can forget that and uhm... (she's flipping cards skipping half of them) Oh this is funny! Oh, but you need to know that to... that, to... Oh, ok, well, uhm, I (Monica is miming CUT). Ok, ok, I, ok, I.... MONICA I CAN'T DO IT LIKE THIS! THIS IS MY WEDDING! OKAY, I DON'T WANT THIS (she mimes Monica's when she was twirling her hands) OR THIS (she taps her watch) OR THIS (she mimes CUT) OK? I JUST WANTED A SIMPLE WEDDING! WHERE MY FIANCEE CAN GO TO THE BATHROOM ANYTIME HE WANTS! (pause) You know what? You're done.
Rachel: Ok-dokey, Joey, listen. This is gonna be bridesmaid central, all right? We're gonna have hair and make-up going on in the bathroom and oh, I had to move a couple of things in the fridge to make room for the corsages.
Joey: Oh, man! I wouldn't have had breakfast if I knew there was going to be corsages!
Monica: Hi. About last night... I know you are under a lot of stress and even though the things you said hurt me a little bit... My point is, uh, well, I'm willing to take my job back.
Phoebe: Oh, well that's ok. I think you and I will do much better if you're just... here as a bridesmaid.
Monica: Oh, is that so? Ok. If that's really what you want, then here... I give you the headset. Well, I don't really want to give you the headset. Well I guess if you're taking over, you should probably return these messages. (hands her a stack of papers with messages and calls to return)
Monica: Uh-huh, but I'm sure you can handle this. I mean, I have won awards for my organizational skills, but, uh, I'm sure you'll do fine.
Monica: Mm-mh. I printed them out on my computer.
Ross: I have to talk to her about this groomsman situation, ok? I'm not gonna watch Chandler up there while I'm sitting in the seats like some chump! (he goes to Rachel's room, knocks the door and enters the room). (very fake gasp) Oh! My God! You're breathtaking!
Ross: Listen, listen. Whoever you pick is gonna walk down the aisle with you! Now, I promise I won't say a word, but if you pick Chandler he's gonna be whispering stupid jokes in your ear the whole time!
Phoebe: Sven I don't understand what you're saying! What is wrong with the flowers? Lorkins? What the hell are lorkins?
Monica: I know.
Joey: May I have a word with you, please?
Joey: Have a seat. (Mike sits on his bed, and Joey towers over him. He starts talking in an Italian godfather-type voice) Last night, I tried to welcome you into my family... and instead, you disrespect me... (shakes his head) I cannot allow this.
Joey: More back talk. And yes, I may be borrowing a few lines from my recent unsuccessful audition for "Family Honor 2: Thissa Time Itsa Personal."
Mike: Joey, I kinda have a lot to do today, what do you want?
Joey: I want you to take this seriously! Phoebe is very very important to me, ok? And I wanna make sure that you are gonna take care of her.
Mike: (gets up) Joe, I love Phoebe. She's the single most important thing in my life. I'd die before I let anything happen to her.
Joey: (very satisfied and smiling) That's what I wanted to hear! Because she's family, ok, and now you're gonna be family, and there is nothing more important in the whole world, than family.
Chandler: Hey, can I talk to you about this groomsman thing? If you pick Ross, he'll walk you down the isle just fine. But if you choose me, you'll be getting some comedy!
Rachel: Even so, I think I'm gonna pick Ross.
Chandler: Let me tell you why you need to pick me. (Goes to sit on the couch facing backwards to the kitchen. Rachel gets a chair and sits opposite him) See, when I was a kid, I was always left out of everything, you know, and it really made me feel... insecure. You know, I was always picked last in gym. Even behind that big fat exchange student who didn't even know the rules to baseball. I mean, this guy would strike out and then run to third. Anyway, If I'm the only one left out of this wedding, I just know that all those feelings are gonna come rushing back.
Rachel: All right fine, I pick you.
Phoebe: No! We're gonna do it my way. (listens) Because your way is stupid! Alright I gotta go, I have another call, Reverend. (switches calls) Hello?
Monica: (Obviously enjoying this setback) Ugh, I guess it got sent to the billing address as opposed to the shipping address. (by now she can barely keep herself from smiling) Uh! What a pickle.
Chandler: (smiling to himself too) That's what I was doing too.
Ross: Oh, I will.
Ross: Wait a minute, I know why I'm being such an ass, why are you?
Mike: Hey, I forgot my scarf.
Rachel: You know what, I can't do this. I don't know which one of you guys to pick.
Mike: Oh, you haven't picked yet. Oh good, 'cause I had an idea. I thought it would be fun if the third groomsman was my family dog. Chappy.
Rachel: (sarcastic) Wow, this is a tough one. I think I'm gonna have to go with the dog.
Phoebe: I want you to be Crazy Bitch again.
Phoebe: More than I wanna get married.
Joey: The blizzard. I just saw on the news, it's like the worst snow storm in 20 years! They already closed all the bridges and tunnels. (Opens the curtains to reveal a snow storm outside)
Joey: I don't think they are.
Ross: (To Phoebe and Mike) I can't believe you guys aren't going to be able to get married today.
Phoebe: I know.
Rachel: Well, look, it's hardly snowing anymore. I mean you couldn't ask for a more romantic setting. This could be the simple wedding you've always wanted!
Mike: I think I wanna get married to you today.
Mike: Hey! You made it. Great! Chappy! Hi! (kisses his dad) Hi! (kisses his mom) Mom, I know getting married in the street isn't something you approve of...
Mike's mom: No... It's lovely. The lights and the snow. I could look at them forever.
Mike's dad: (leans in towards Mike) I crushed a pill and put it in her drink... (to his wife) Come on, sweetheart.
Mike: I guess.
Ross: (takes Chappy from Mike) Well, I guess I'm in the wedding then. Ha haaa... (smells Chappy) He stinks!
Monica: Level 1 alert. I repeat, level 1. This is not a drill. Okay we've got a situation. The minister just called. He's snowed in. He can't make it.
Joey: I had to read the Bible pretty carefully, but... yeah we do.
Monica: I love you. (Phoebe leans in to kiss her.) Oh, wait, wait, wait! No hugs. The dresses... Oh what the hell. (the girls hug)
Phoebe: I love you guys.
Rachel and Monica: I love you.
Chandler: (to Monica) Is it okay that I want you to wear that head set in bed tonight?
Monica: (checking her clipboard) I have you scheduled for nudity at 2300 hours.
Phoebe: I don't care... I'll be my something blue.
Joey: Friends, family, dog... Thank you all for being here to witness this blessed event. The cold has now spread to my special place... so I'm gonna do the short version of this. Phoebe and Mike are perfect for each other. And I know I speak for every one here... when I wish them a lifetime of happiness. Who has the rings?
Phoebe: When I was growing up, I didn't have a normal mom and dad, or a regular family like everybody else, and I always knew that something was missing. But now I'm standing here today, knowing that I have everything I'm ever gonna need... You are my family. (She puts the ring on Mikes finger)
Mike: Phoebe you're so beautiful. You're so kind, you're so generous. You're so wonderfully weird. Every day with you is an adventure, and I can't believe how lucky I am, and I can't wait to share my life with you forever. (He puts the ring on Phoebe's finger.)
Phoebe: Oh wait, oh I forgot... and uhm... I love you... and you have nice eyes.
Mike: I love you too.
Phoebe: I do.
Mike: I do.
Joey: I now pronounce you... husband and wife.
Phoebe: I got married! (everyone applauds) Could someone get me a coat, I'm freaking freezing.
Joey: It was, yeah. I kind of don't want it to end. Hey, you wanna come in for a drink and a bite of corsage?
Chandler: I don't know. Maybe he hooked up with that hot girl he was talking to.
Ross: Come on Chappy, do your business. MAKE! MA-AKE! I did not sign on for this.
Rachel: Because youre not finished yet and I wont have it! Greens do not quit!
Richard: No its not too soon, I had lunch at a eleven.
JOEY: Come on, Chandler, I want this part soo much. (Chandler ignores him) Just one kiss, I won't tell anyone.
Chandler: Yeah, can I get a 3-piece, some cole slaw, some beans, and a Coke(Yelps in pain as Monica grabs him underwater)Diet Coke.
Monica: No, I don't think it ever works. Why?
Rachel: Chandler! Patrick just uh, ended things with me. Did you or did you not tell him that I was looking for a serious relationship?
Monica: I guess I set up the video camera to try and entice Joey.
Joey: Yeah! I stayed at Kates, but ah, nothing happened. Hey, Pheebs, where were ya?
Frank: Its out there man! Ive seen it! I got it!!
Ross: Yknow I dont understand why they didnt cry. It was a beautiful speech.
Phoebe: Okay but look! Look at what I got! Its her address book! (Holds it up.) We have a guest list!
Phoebe: I thought I was going home to go to bed, but I'm sensing there's something less fun for me to do here.
Rachel: I am still talking!! And then you chase away the one guy that I actually liked! I mean, no offense to you guys. Really! I mean (To Patrick) congratulations on all the cash, (He nods) and-and yknow(Feels Eldads hair)Wow! You do have very soft hair! But I would much rather go to the ball all by myself than go through anymore of this! Good-bye! (Grabs her stuff, starts to leave, then turns back suddenly, and to Eldad) Now do you use some sort of special conditioner on that hair?!
Phoebe: Well, if you must know I have written 14 books. And as I am the only one who has read them, I can tell you that they all have been very well received.
Monica: Chandler In all my life I never thought I would be so lucky. (Starting to cry.) As to fall in love with my best my best Theres a reason why girls dont do this!
Joey: All right, well maybe Im enjoying it a little bit. I mean Im getting pretty good at it.
Rachel: Y'know if what I do is so lame, then why did you insist on coming with me this morning? Huh? Was it so I just wouldnt go with Mark?
JOEY: Hey, Monica, the knob was broken so I just turned it off from underneath, I hope that's alright.
RICHARD: Ok, I have to sleep on the west side because I grew up in California and otherwise the ocean would be on the wrong side.
Tim: Last time I saw you, it was the morning I left for college. And you were just standing outside The Dairy Queen.
Monica: No, you�re right. Mnya, we shouldn�t do it like this. Huch. For what it�s worth, I�m, I�m sorry. I shouldn�t have come down on you so hard about the smoking. So you had a few cigarettes, not the end of the world.
RACHEL: Ok, here, I know what we can do. [grabs Joey's sadwich and throws it out the window]
Joey: No! Forget it! OkayI mean thanks, but Im done taking money from you. All right, I can take of myself. Now, whats next? Come on.
Rachel: So I thought Joey and I would be okay once we hung out, but its not even like we know how to be with each other anymore.
MNCA: Yes, I would like something. [looks at Fun Bobby, changes her mind] No, no thank you.
Estelle: What can I say? She nailed it.
Phoebe: Oh I do! (She grabs her huge purse and starts rummaging through it and taking out various items in a futile search for the gum.) Oh, yknow what? No. (Pause) Wait a second. (She removes a bag filled with water that has a goldfish swimming in it.) I know its in here somewhere.
Joanna: Rachel, I need the Versachi invoice. (to Chandler) Hello! You dont work for me.
Chandler: Well, no, actually she uh, asked me if I wanted to get a drink.
PHOEBE: I can see that. A plate of brownies once told me a limerick.
Monica: I got it! How about, if we win, they have to get rid of the rooster?
Ross: If you have to call me name, I prefer "Ross the Divorcer". It's just cooler. Look, I know my marriage isn't exactly work out. But I love to be that committed to another person. And Carol had some good times before she became a lesbian... and once afterward. I'm sorry.
Rachel: I am so proud of Joey, I can't believe he's going to be on Law & Order!
Rachel: I am sorry! Again... I don't know, I don’t know what happened, I must be nervous!
Chandler: I don't think of her that way, you know, she's a, she's a colleague.
Monica: That�s right, because I forbid you to smoke again.
CHANDLER: Oh, see, I had to tell her that my number was your number, because I couldn't tell her that my number was my number because she thinks that my number is Bob's number.
Emily: I dont think Id be comfortable with any of my old lovers there.
Chandler: See, thats why I could never be an actor. Because I cant say gig.
MNCA: Look, maybe this is none of my business, or maybe it is, I don't know... but, uh, I'm kind of worried about you.
Ross: Hey! That was a practical purchase! I needed that car for transportation! Okay? I-I have a child!
Rachel: But dont you think Rosita wouldve wanted you to move on? I mean yknow, she did always put your comfort first.
Monica: What I said was, was that I understood. Joeys the one who agreed with you!
Director: Really, ythink so? I dont..
Monica: Well, I-Ithere was this guy at the bank that I thought was cute umm, but I don't anymore.
Ross: The flirting! Aren't you supposed to be going out with, I don't know hmm, let's say my sister?!
Chandler: How many times have I told you guys, you never watch the cooking channel!
Joey: (on phone) Hey! I do too think about the consequences of my decisions! (Listens) What gives you the right to (Listens) Go to hell! (Hangs up the phone and opens the fridge.) Stupid guy on my phone.
Phoebe: Well, I have ah, vodka and cranberry juice.
Phoebe: No! Hey, we're not leaving until we get paid! I don't know who she thinks she is! Enough is enough! (Phoebe goes into the living room.) Hey, widow?
Joey: An-an-anyway I-I just wanted to say that since Im getting your brain when you leave the show, I was wondering if there was any tips you can give me
RACH: Oh, look at me, look at me. Oh, I'm on a date with a really great guy, all I can think about is Ross and his cat and his... Julie. I just want to get over him. gosh, why can't I do that?
PHOEBE: I know. We didn't do any of the romantic things I had planned, like having a picnic at Central Park and ya know, coffee at Central Perk. Oh I just got that. [They kiss.]
Joey: I mean, the giant is like five years younger than me, yknow, you think Ill ever get there?
Chandler: Yes, I did. I told it to Dan at work, and he said it was the funniest joke hed ever heard.
Caitlin: Ugh, I hate it! I look like an 8-year-old boy.
Rachel: Oh yeah, Id actually love a blueberry muffin and a chamomile tea.
Chandler: Well thats good. Because you didnt! And Im incredibly happy for ya!!
Phoebe: Thats all right, Ill work here. This is goo, next to this plant. (She picks a place in the lobby next to a plant.)
Mike: I'll tell her that it's over tonight at dinner. I promise.
Monica: Hmm, care to make it interesting? Ill bet you that shell have it by this time tomorrow.
Rachel: Look Joey, Im sorry if-if you thought that was mean, but I gotta tell ya something. That was not mean. Okay, my father is mean. He used to yell at me all the time on the boat, I mean it was horrible. I was just being a good teacher.
Monica: (To Chandler) Excuse me, umm, can I talk to you over here for just a second?
Phoebe: (jumps in front of Rachel) Hi! Oh yeah, uh-huh, it's me. I saw you grab your running shoes this morning and sneak out. You lied so you could run by yourself.
DUNCAN: I missed you. [they hug] I'm gonna get changed.
Joey: Two thousand dollars!? What do you think I am? I soap opera star!?
Ross: Anyway, one thing lead to another, and... oh... before you know it, we were kissing. I mean, how angry do you think Joey is gonna be?
Ross: No, no, no. Technically the... sex is not... being had, but that's... see, that's not the point. See, um, the point is that... Rachel and I should be, er, together. You know, and if you get in the.... um...
Chandler: She did not have to tell me, I saw the play, and there was no heat. Back me up here, Ross!
Chandler: Oh, ahh, no thanks, I just had an M&M.
Rachel: Okay, fine! But you know what? If I was in 36D, we would not be having this problem.
Ben: Jack? I hate him! Hes a jerk.
Rachel: Uh well, y'know what? I don't think if I feel comfortable stealing on my very first day
Rachel: Wow, I really get crabby when I cook.
TILLY: I gather by that oh that he told you about me.
Chandler: And I don't wanna say this, I don't you guys to hate me, but uh, I don't think, I can be around that dog anymore. Okay, so either the dog goes, or I go. (An awkward silence ensues.) Oh my god!!
Chandler: Yeah, Ross sure is a great guy, yknow Ive always felt that how a young man turns out is a reflection on his father.
Rachel: Sure. I guess. Hey, I hear you don't have to go to London. Yay!
The Director: Tasty! Im really starting to feel like you guys have a history, its-its nice.
Joey: All right!!! Okay!! All right! Okay-okay, I gotta get started on my speech! Oh, wait a minute, Internet ministers can still have sex right?
EDDIE: No. See now I don't think you're being fair. I mean one night you see me and you get scared, I mean, what about all the other nights when you don't see me, huh? What about last night when you went and got a drink of water and I was nice enough to hide behind the door, what's that about, huh?
ROSS: Well, there's this, uh, paleontology conference in L.A. so I figured I'd go and then drive down to the zoo and surprise Marcel.
Ross: Okay, Phoebe just-just get-get on the bike andHey! Ill hold you up and-and push you. Okay?
Phoebe: Ok. I mean I know I did the right thing. You know, Mike never wants to get married and I shouldn't be in a relationship that has no future... but... pretty soon I'm gonna miss him so much. I'm gonna wanna see him again and you have to stop me from doing that.
Rachel: I dont know! But maybe if we keep that drawer shut, itll die.
Chandler: Well, its because I trust you, youre one of my best friends, and you walked in on me when I was looking at ring brochures.
Ross: Its okay if he bumps his head, kids bump their heads all the time, y'know, it was your first time babysitting, I figured you did the best you could.
Rachel: Oh, I guess. Except everything looks like jammies now.
Rachel: Okay Ross, werewait a minute. Umm, I uh, I kinda have a little confession.
Monica: Honey I cant even imagine how hard this must be for you. But, I dont want you to lose Joey over it. And right now he just needs to know that youre still his friend.
EDDIE: No no no, I wanna hear it from your lips.
Tom: Hi, you're Chandler Bing, right? I'm Tom Gordon, I was in your class.
Phoebe: Oh, my first massage today is this incredibly gorgeous guy, and every time I see him I just want to do things to him that Im not allowed to charge for.
Phoebe: No they ran out of "Its a girl" but I can fix this one, (She writes "not" in between its and a) See?
Chandler: (reading the comics) Eh..., I dont, I dont know.
Amanda: I appreciate this soo much, I've been trying to go out with this guy for like a month.
Joey: Hi. Im Joey Tribbiani; Im here to audition for (Groans) man.
CHANDLER: That was there when I got here. [Takes a bite of his muffin.]
Rachel: You know what Im going to do? Im going to get in my sweats, and eat this in bed! (exits)
Joey: Wait a minute! Why don't I do what that guy did? I'll take this $100 and turn it into $5,000! And then I'll turn that into enough money to get my movie going again!