words in movies
Phoebe: Listen, I need to ask you something. Ok, you know how my step dad's in prison.
Phoebe: No, and so there's no one to walk me down the aisle and... well, I would just really love it if you would do it.
Phoebe: Yeah, you've... you know, sort of been like a dad to me. I mean, you've always, you know, looked out for me and shared your wisdom...
Joey: I am pretty wisdomous.
Joey: Are you kidding? Phoebe, I would be honored. (they hug)
Phoebe: Oh, thank you. I hope... I hope you know how much you mean to me.
Joey: (takes her hand) Listen, I hope... that you know... (has difficulty saying it) I don't want you to see your father cry, GO TO YOUR ROOM!
Phoebe: (her mobile phone rings) Oh, it's my wedding planner. She's driving me crazy! (she answers) Hello... Hey, ok, stop screaming! Ok? So, halibut. All right, so salmon, either way. I don't-I don't... it doesn't matter to me!
Phoebe: Well, I don't care, so you pick!
Monica: Did you just hung up on me? (she hangs up too) All right, look, I need you at the rehearsal dinner tonight at 1800 hours.
Phoebe: Why, I must have been in missile training the day they taught that.
Monica: Ok. Hold on. (her mobile phone rings) Geller here! No! I said it has to be there by 4 o'clock. Goodbye. (she hangs up) Oh, how hard it is to make an ice sculpture?
Phoebe: Ice sculpture? That sounds really fancy! I told you I just want a simple wedding.
Monica: Please... honey, leave the details to me. Now I wanna make this day as special for you as I can. Now, ok, I was thinking that the harpist should wear white.
Monica: I made her. (Phoebe looks shocked) Steel drums don't really say "elegant wedding". Nor does Marjorie's overwhelming scent.
Chandler: You look great. I'm so glad we're having this rehearsal dinner, you know, I so rarely get to practice my meals before I eat them.
Chandler: No stupid jokes. I thought that was for the actual wedding.
Ross: Oh, (he goes towards Mike in order to shake hands but Mike hugs him) hey, oh... I... I was-I was going for a hand shake.
Chandler: (to Rachel) You know what I just realized? We have no idea what we're doing in the wedding tomorrow.
Ross: Yeah, I thought we'd be groomsmen, but wouldn't they have asked us by now? When did they ask you to be their bridesmaid?
Ross: I wanna say it's not looking good.
Rachel: Well, this is really awkward (staring at the floor) Oh, and I can leave!
Chandler: This is like figure skating team all over again. (Phoebe and Ross glare at him astonished) I mean synchronized swimming. (they continue to glare) I mean- I mean the balance beam. (to Ross) Help me!
Phoebe: Oh! I though the pot stickers were supposed to be vegetarian!
Monica: Yeah, I changed them. I-I sent you a fax about it!
Phoebe: I don't have a fax machine.
Ross: I can't believe we're gonna be the only people that aren't in this wedding.
Chandler: I know, I hate being left out of things.
Mike: Yeah look, about tomorrow, I... I've got a question for ya. I just found out that one of my groomsmen had had an emergency and can't make it.
Mike: ...and I was wondering if... you know, maybe one of you guys... (Ross stands up)
Chandler: Pick me, I look great in a tux and I will not steal focus.
Ross: No, Mike, no, no. You wanna pick me, I mean... watch! (he mimics the groommens way of walking down the aisle with a bridesmaid) Huh?
Mike: You know, I really don't feel very comfortable making this decision. You know, Phoebe knows you better, I'm gonna let her choose. (he leaves)
Chandler: Oh, I will. But I will need a mirror... as he is me!
Chandler: (almost crying) I wouldn't know, I didn't make it! (they hug)
Mike: I intend to marry her.
Joey: Oh, a wiseacre. (Mike looks bewildered). No, no, no, I understand you plan to support your wife by playing the piano? Isn't that kind of unstable?
Phoebe: I decided to pee.
Phoebe: Oh no, no. I can't choose between you two! I love you both so much!
Phoebe: Oh, I don't wanna choose! It's (Rachel is walking by). Oh okay, wait. Rach! Listen I have a very special bridesmaid task for you today.
Rachel: What, what, what, no, I don't wanna do that.
Phoebe: All right, I guess I'll have to find a new bridesmaid.
Mike: Do I have a minute to go to the bathroom?
Monica: (very serious) It's 2101 and I am not amused. (pause). Ok, the bride and groom have a few words they'd like to say. (Everyone sits and Phoebe gets up)
Phoebe: Ok. Hello everyone and thank you all for being here tonight. So tomorrow's the big event and some of you might not know, but Mike and I didn't get off to the best start. (she reads a note). My friend Joey and I decided to fix each other up with friends so I, I... (Monica is twirling her hands in order to make Phoebe speed up her speech) oh I... hum... I gave it a lot of thought and I fixed him up with my friend Mary Ellen who couldn't be here tonight because... (Monica is tapping her watch with her finger) it's not important... she is in rehab. Anyway, so, ok, Joey said that he was fixing me up with his friend Mike, only he didn't have a friend Mike so he just brought, uhm, my Mike and, and (Monica clears her throat) but despite, you know... it got... it got good. Ok, I wanna take a moment to mention my mother, who couldn't be here...
Phoebe: And... moment's over! (Rachel, Joey and Chandler all turn and look disapprovingly towards Monica but she just shrugs it off) So, ok, uh, I can forget that. I can forget that and uhm... (she's flipping cards skipping half of them) Oh this is funny! Oh, but you need to know that to... that, to... Oh, ok, well, uhm, I (Monica is miming CUT). Ok, ok, I, ok, I.... MONICA I CAN'T DO IT LIKE THIS! THIS IS MY WEDDING! OKAY, I DON'T WANT THIS (she mimes Monica's when she was twirling her hands) OR THIS (she taps her watch) OR THIS (she mimes CUT) OK? I JUST WANTED A SIMPLE WEDDING! WHERE MY FIANCEE CAN GO TO THE BATHROOM ANYTIME HE WANTS! (pause) You know what? You're done.
Rachel: Ok-dokey, Joey, listen. This is gonna be bridesmaid central, all right? We're gonna have hair and make-up going on in the bathroom and oh, I had to move a couple of things in the fridge to make room for the corsages.
Joey: Oh, man! I wouldn't have had breakfast if I knew there was going to be corsages!
Monica: Hi. About last night... I know you are under a lot of stress and even though the things you said hurt me a little bit... My point is, uh, well, I'm willing to take my job back.
Phoebe: Oh, well that's ok. I think you and I will do much better if you're just... here as a bridesmaid.
Monica: Oh, is that so? Ok. If that's really what you want, then here... I give you the headset. Well, I don't really want to give you the headset. Well I guess if you're taking over, you should probably return these messages. (hands her a stack of papers with messages and calls to return)
Monica: Uh-huh, but I'm sure you can handle this. I mean, I have won awards for my organizational skills, but, uh, I'm sure you'll do fine.
Monica: Mm-mh. I printed them out on my computer.
Ross: I have to talk to her about this groomsman situation, ok? I'm not gonna watch Chandler up there while I'm sitting in the seats like some chump! (he goes to Rachel's room, knocks the door and enters the room). (very fake gasp) Oh! My God! You're breathtaking!
Ross: Listen, listen. Whoever you pick is gonna walk down the aisle with you! Now, I promise I won't say a word, but if you pick Chandler he's gonna be whispering stupid jokes in your ear the whole time!
Phoebe: Sven I don't understand what you're saying! What is wrong with the flowers? Lorkins? What the hell are lorkins?
Monica: I know.
Joey: May I have a word with you, please?
Joey: Have a seat. (Mike sits on his bed, and Joey towers over him. He starts talking in an Italian godfather-type voice) Last night, I tried to welcome you into my family... and instead, you disrespect me... (shakes his head) I cannot allow this.
Joey: More back talk. And yes, I may be borrowing a few lines from my recent unsuccessful audition for "Family Honor 2: Thissa Time Itsa Personal."
Mike: Joey, I kinda have a lot to do today, what do you want?
Joey: I want you to take this seriously! Phoebe is very very important to me, ok? And I wanna make sure that you are gonna take care of her.
Mike: (gets up) Joe, I love Phoebe. She's the single most important thing in my life. I'd die before I let anything happen to her.
Joey: (very satisfied and smiling) That's what I wanted to hear! Because she's family, ok, and now you're gonna be family, and there is nothing more important in the whole world, than family.
Chandler: Hey, can I talk to you about this groomsman thing? If you pick Ross, he'll walk you down the isle just fine. But if you choose me, you'll be getting some comedy!
Rachel: Even so, I think I'm gonna pick Ross.
Chandler: Let me tell you why you need to pick me. (Goes to sit on the couch facing backwards to the kitchen. Rachel gets a chair and sits opposite him) See, when I was a kid, I was always left out of everything, you know, and it really made me feel... insecure. You know, I was always picked last in gym. Even behind that big fat exchange student who didn't even know the rules to baseball. I mean, this guy would strike out and then run to third. Anyway, If I'm the only one left out of this wedding, I just know that all those feelings are gonna come rushing back.
Rachel: All right fine, I pick you.
Phoebe: No! We're gonna do it my way. (listens) Because your way is stupid! Alright I gotta go, I have another call, Reverend. (switches calls) Hello?
Monica: (Obviously enjoying this setback) Ugh, I guess it got sent to the billing address as opposed to the shipping address. (by now she can barely keep herself from smiling) Uh! What a pickle.
Chandler: (smiling to himself too) That's what I was doing too.
Ross: Oh, I will.
Ross: Wait a minute, I know why I'm being such an ass, why are you?
Mike: Hey, I forgot my scarf.
Rachel: You know what, I can't do this. I don't know which one of you guys to pick.
Mike: Oh, you haven't picked yet. Oh good, 'cause I had an idea. I thought it would be fun if the third groomsman was my family dog. Chappy.
Rachel: (sarcastic) Wow, this is a tough one. I think I'm gonna have to go with the dog.
Phoebe: I want you to be Crazy Bitch again.
Phoebe: More than I wanna get married.
Joey: The blizzard. I just saw on the news, it's like the worst snow storm in 20 years! They already closed all the bridges and tunnels. (Opens the curtains to reveal a snow storm outside)
Joey: I don't think they are.
Ross: (To Phoebe and Mike) I can't believe you guys aren't going to be able to get married today.
Phoebe: I know.
Rachel: Well, look, it's hardly snowing anymore. I mean you couldn't ask for a more romantic setting. This could be the simple wedding you've always wanted!
Mike: I think I wanna get married to you today.
Mike: Hey! You made it. Great! Chappy! Hi! (kisses his dad) Hi! (kisses his mom) Mom, I know getting married in the street isn't something you approve of...
Mike's mom: No... It's lovely. The lights and the snow. I could look at them forever.
Mike's dad: (leans in towards Mike) I crushed a pill and put it in her drink... (to his wife) Come on, sweetheart.
Mike: I guess.
Ross: (takes Chappy from Mike) Well, I guess I'm in the wedding then. Ha haaa... (smells Chappy) He stinks!
Monica: Level 1 alert. I repeat, level 1. This is not a drill. Okay we've got a situation. The minister just called. He's snowed in. He can't make it.
Joey: I had to read the Bible pretty carefully, but... yeah we do.
Monica: I love you. (Phoebe leans in to kiss her.) Oh, wait, wait, wait! No hugs. The dresses... Oh what the hell. (the girls hug)
Phoebe: I love you guys.
Rachel and Monica: I love you.
Chandler: (to Monica) Is it okay that I want you to wear that head set in bed tonight?
Monica: (checking her clipboard) I have you scheduled for nudity at 2300 hours.
Phoebe: I don't care... I'll be my something blue.
Joey: Friends, family, dog... Thank you all for being here to witness this blessed event. The cold has now spread to my special place... so I'm gonna do the short version of this. Phoebe and Mike are perfect for each other. And I know I speak for every one here... when I wish them a lifetime of happiness. Who has the rings?
Phoebe: When I was growing up, I didn't have a normal mom and dad, or a regular family like everybody else, and I always knew that something was missing. But now I'm standing here today, knowing that I have everything I'm ever gonna need... You are my family. (She puts the ring on Mikes finger)
Mike: Phoebe you're so beautiful. You're so kind, you're so generous. You're so wonderfully weird. Every day with you is an adventure, and I can't believe how lucky I am, and I can't wait to share my life with you forever. (He puts the ring on Phoebe's finger.)
Phoebe: Oh wait, oh I forgot... and uhm... I love you... and you have nice eyes.
Mike: I love you too.
Phoebe: I do.
Mike: I do.
Joey: I now pronounce you... husband and wife.
Phoebe: I got married! (everyone applauds) Could someone get me a coat, I'm freaking freezing.
Joey: It was, yeah. I kind of don't want it to end. Hey, you wanna come in for a drink and a bite of corsage?
Chandler: I don't know. Maybe he hooked up with that hot girl he was talking to.
Ross: Come on Chappy, do your business. MAKE! MA-AKE! I did not sign on for this.
Monica: Look, I don't wanna do this test either, but I really do think it's a good idea!
Phoebe: Well, you know what Chandler? I think you've gotta face it. You're like, the guy in the big office, you know. You're the one that hires them, that fires them... They still say you're a great boss.
Monica: Why won't I be married when I'm 40?
Chandler: Oh, no, no. I just meant hypothetically.
Chandler: (pause) I dont have your boots.
Rachel: Pheebs, if I had never met him this never would have happened!
Monica: No, I haven't seen him.
Monica: Oh no, it is okay, I mean as long as you know that Chandler and I are also very hot and fiery, just as hot as you! I mean our flame, whew, is on fire!
Mrs. Tribbiani: Well don't be, because now everything's screwed up. I just want it the way it was.
Joey: Ok, look, maybe I should just go.
Rachel: I can not believe he would do that to MonWhoa! (She stops suddenly and slowly turns to point at Joey. Joey is avoiding her eyes.) Joey, do they know that we know?
Joey: Well, Ive just never seen a guy stare so hard at a piece of paper that didnt have naked chicks on it.
Ross: I got it.
Ross: I got it! Hey, you get to sleep with her, I get the cramps.
Susan: I got it.
Chandler: Which, by the way, is the real San Francisco treat. (Calls her, then hurriedly hangs up.) I got her machine.
Chandler: That was so unlikely. Well, lets get married! I guess.
Joey: Uh-huh look, the only reason I can over here was to settle things between us! Okay? Youve done a lot for me and my career, I wanted to pay you back so I took you to the premiere but you missed it! Okay, so how much do I owe you?
Susan: Yeah? Well, there's a lot of things Carol never did before I came along.
Phoebe: Don't make me do this again, I don't like my voice like this.
Chandler: (In a helium voice, holding a balloon) I'm sorry, I got a little occupied.
Monica: This is it. Yeah, this is the one. I cant believe I found it!
Rachel: (Tapping the clipboard) well, now, wait a second, who did I just put as my "In case of emergency" person?
Ross: Hi, um, Im err, (has to clear his throat) Im Ross Geller, and err ah... (pats Carols bulge) ..thats, thats my boy in there, and uh, (points) this is Carol Willick, and this... is Susan Bunch. Susan is um Carols, just, com... (embarrassment finally overwhelms the poor fellow, who becomes incoherent until) ..whos next?
Chandler: Excuse me, look, we've been here for over an hour, and a lot of people less sick than my friend have gone in. I mean, that guy with the toe thing? Who's he sleeping with? (She slides the gladd panel over and Chandler talks through it in a loud voice.) Oh, c'mon Dora, don't be mad... I know we both said some things we didn't mean, but that doesn't mean we still don't love each other. (To the waiting room.) Y'know, I feel like I've lost her.. (She slides the panel back, he turns, and it takes him by surprise.) Ba-!
Woman No. 2: Did I put too much rum in here?
Roger: Actually it's, it's quite, y'know, typical behaviour when you have this kind of dysfunctional group dynamic. Y'know, this kind of co-dependant, emotionally stunted, sitting in your stupid coffee house with your stupid big cups which, I'm sorry, might as well have nipples on them, and you're like all 'Oh, define me! Define me! Love me, I need love!'.
Ross: Hey! I just spoke to your dad, and you know what? He seems to think well be able to find a new place for the wedding.
Monica: Wait a minute. That wasnt a hard eight! Last night I rolled a hard eight.
Joey: Are you kidding me? Im great! Yeah, Im uh; Im better than great. I am good. And now that shes gone, I can uh, I can do all this stuff around here that I couldnt do before. Yknow? Like umm, I can walk around naked again. Yknow? I can uh, I can watch porn in the living room. Right? This is uh, this is good for me. Yknow? I like being on my own, Im uh, better off this way. Im uh, a lone wolf. Yknow? A loner. Alone. All alone. Forever. Whats a wolf got to do to get a huh around here?! (Chandler rushes over and hugs him.)
Joey: I'd be lying if I said I haven't thought about it myself. Chandler is my best friend, it would be wrong. Good...(He winks)...But wrong.
Ross: Hi! Im so glad youre here, but its gonna be a while. I-I wished youd called first.
Joey: I gotta tell you. You're the best in the business.
ROSS: I, I don't know, it's got all this stuff about wind and trees and there's some kind of sacred pool in it. I mean, I don't really get it but she's, she's pretty upset about it.
RACHEL: Well, the point is, maybe I should just stop waiting around for moments with Ross, you know?� I should just . . . move on with my life.
Phoebe: No! I am a positive person. You are like Santa Clause on Prozac, at Disneyland, getting laid!
Ross: C'mon, Chandler, I love your mom. I think she's a blast.
Chloe: (entering from bedroom) Hey, what kind of puppy do you think I should get?
Frank: I mean, how hard can it be? Y'know, I mean, y'know, babies, y'know who doesnt want babies right? And besides y'know, I never had a Dad around, and ah, now-now I always will, cause y'know, itll be me. Right?
CHANDLER: Because I didn't know how to tell him that I couldn't go to the Knicks game.� So, I just told him that I had to stay in Tulsa.
Ursula: Right, yeah, cause its close to where I live, and the aprons are really cute.
Rachel: I dont know Tag! How can your genitals make phone calls? Okay? Its not a perfect world! Just go please.
Alan: Yeah, well, I had a great time with you.. I just can't stand your friends.
Ross: (to Ben) I know, I know. Everybody, there's someone I'd like you to meet. Yeah. This is Ben. Ben, this is everybody.
Susan: I like Ben.
Monica: Ross, can I?
Rachel: Oh, I know. Look at him.
Chandler: I know, I still am one of these.
Monica: Okay, Ive got a question. If you had to pick one of us to date, who would it be?
Monica: I mean, that's a typical guy response.
Monica: I sure do! (She runs over to a drawer, opens it, and grabs a lollipop.) (To Rachel) And you don't get one!
Rachel: I loved the moment when you first saw the giant dog shadow all over the park.
Joey: I will, really. I'll pay you back this time.
Charlie: Actually, I'm kinda happy to be leaving... I just broke up with someeone.
Chandler: Okay, well Im gonna get Ross, get the cameras, and get them developed. (Joey laughs again.) 32 Joe. Youre 32! (Exits)
Joey: I don't know, she's, uh.... she's pretty great.
Joey: What, you think I'm gonna tell a girl I like that I'm also seeing a cup?
Chandler: I say, Drew! Are you seeing anybody right now? (Drew looks at him) Og-ee-op, Im not asking for me, Im I mean No, Im-Im not gay, Im not asking you out. Im not-Im not-Im not gay!
Phoebe: Yes, you will be very sad. All right, well I gotta go tell Rachel the good news.
RACHEL: Ok mom, you know what, fine, I'll make an appointment ok, but you know what, right now, I gotta go, I gotta go do a thing.
Ross: I know.
Phoebe: (stops) Please! Please! Please! Please! Oh please! Please! Please! Frank and Alice asked me to baby sit the triplets and Im nervous cause Ive never done that before by myself!
Chandler: I can't belive it.
Monica: I can't believe he did this.
Rachel: I mean, this is unbelievable.
Joey: Phoebe, could you do me a favour? Could you try this on? I just wanna make sure it fits.
Phoebe: I know. This is really, really huge.
Joey: No, no, no, don't you dare bail on me. The only reason she's goin' out with me is because I said I could bring a friend for her friend.
Ross: (turning towards him) Yes Mr. Lewis, how can I help you?
Rachel: I don't know. Maybe I'll know when I see him.
Rachel: (Somewhat angrily) Okay. What the hell was that? You know what? Dont answer me. (Giggling) I have a date with Danny.
Chandler: Rachel, I love you! Deal with me first! (she leaves)
Rachel: Uh... I don't know.
Rachel: I accidentally kissed him in the interview, and now he wants me back y'know of course, 'cause "Let's bring the girl back who kisses everybody!"
Joey: (enters) Guess what? (they all look expectantly at him) I finally got that seed out of my teeth.
Rachel: Oh, no, no, I don't have one. I just need to talk to my friend.
Ross: I got tenure. I didn't win the lottery... Hey Rach, so uh... how did your thing go?
Rachel: Ok, I, I hear what you're sayin'. I'm with you. Um, but I, but I'm trying really hard. And I think I'm doing better. I really do. Does anybody need coffee? (everyone in the place raises their hand) Oh, look at that.
Ross: No, Rachel got pulled over for speeding. She forgot her licence so now I have to bring it to her.
Joey: (in a funny voice) Yeah, so it turns out that it wasnt the hair straightener that started the fire. (Rachel prompts him on what to say next.) No-no, it was the candles. Its very not good leaving candles unattended. In fact, one of the first things they teach you in fire school is (Phoebe suddenly enters.) Uhh Uhh Okay. Well, I have to go now. (Phoebe leaves.)
Rachel: I don't know. I don't know... I thought about it all the way there, and I thought about it all the way back... and, uh, oh, you guys, y'know, it's Ross. Y'know what I mean? I mean, it's Ross.
Ross: Yeah, that's true. Except I don't wanna get over her.
Chandler: Oh yes, yes, we could play some other game... like, uh, I don't know... Pictionary?
Joey: Aww, I don't know Monica y'know... erm... lending friends money is always a mistake.
Joey: No, still too ethnic. My agent thinks I should have a name that's more neutral.
Ross: You're just jealous because you couldn't pull this off. Yeah, now if you'll excuse me (getting up and taking his coat) I have a date. (As he is walking out, everyone turns and stares at him) See? (To Joey) ALL eyes on ME!
Monica: What?! Are you crazy?! Im not getting married! Im not even engaged.
Phoebe: Well, I mean, then what happens if it doesn't work out?
Young Ethan: I wasn't thinking. I was too busy fallin'...
Joey: I know! Neither did I!
Joey: No, yeah, no, ok, but not yet. I don't wanna seem too eager. One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi. That seems pretty cool. (he walks over to her) Hey, Angela.
Joey: Okay, so-so which route should I take the northern route or the southern route?
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: Thats so sweet. (Takes the flowers.) Would you like to come in and say good-bye? Im sure it would mean a lot to her.
Monica: Aww, the only reason you want to go out with me because my blond wig, and the big boobs, and the fact that I serve you food.
Amy: Oh, I know, I know. I've just been crazed.
Ross: I know.
Chandler: It is going to be perfect. I am taking her to her favorite restaurant. Im going to get her a bottle of the champagne that she really loves; therefore knows how expensive it is. Then when the glasses are full, instead of proposing a toast Im just gonna propose.
Monica: Well, of course I do. What's not to like! I'll take her in a minute! But, you know, I think that you're giving up too easy, honey. I think that you need to fight for her!
Rachel: If we broke up, and I lost you...
Ross: Oh, hey, hey, I got that.