words in movies
Ross: Hey! I just got uh, my teacher evaluations! Check out what this one student wrote, "I loved Dr. Gellers class. Mind blowing lectures! Dr. Geller, you are definitely the hottie of the paleontology department!"
Ross: Oh, I wish I knew, but the evaluations are all anonymous.
Ross: Its a girl! Anyway, it wouit wouldnt matter. Okay? Because Im a teacher and shes a student.
Chandler: I see.
Ross: I know when Im 90 shell be like 80 and it wont seem like such a big difference.
Joey: No thats not what I was going to say at all. No, what I was going to say is when youre 90 youll still have the memory of what it was like to be with a 20-year-old.
Chandler: Oh, I dont know man. I havent talked to her in like ten years.
Chandler: Oh okay, Ill-Ill try.
Joey: All right! Thanks! Youre the best! Now listen, the last day of auditions is Thursday. Okay? So I gotta get in there by Thursday. Okay? Just remember Thursday. Thursday. Can you remember Thursday?
Rachel: (entering from the bathroom) Hey Mon? Im gonna check my messages.
Rachel: Well, he didnt say, but it was a fire. Im guessing not very good. Come on, we gotta go!
Joey: The part I want to audition for is a fireman, this is so meant to be!
Elizabeth: I wanted to say how much I enjoyed your class.
Elizabeth: Uh, Im a little embarrassed about calling you a hottie on my evaluation
Elizabeth: Yeah. I felt a little weird about it. Youre a teacher. Im a student. But would you maybe want to go out with me sometime?
Ross: Oh I, I dont-I dont think that would be the best idea.
Elizabeth: Oh, because I was thinking, the semesters over; youre not my teacher anymore.
Elizabeth: Im kidding!
Joey: (to the fireman) Hey buddy, do you think I can borrow your uniform this Thursday?
Phoebe: Oh, its bad. Its really bad. The only thing in there that isnt burned is an ass. Which I do not remember buying!
Rachel: Fine! Im sorry for your loss! (Hands it back to her.)
Rachel: (stands up) Wow! Oh-okay, look pal, I am not in the mood to be hit on right now! But if you give me your number I will call you some other time.
Phoebe: No, not usually. But yeah, I could use one right now.
Phoebe: Yes! I do! All the time! I love them! Oh my God! I did it! Its me! Its me! I burned down the house! I burned down the house!
Rachel: Okay Phoebe calm down, theres no need to place blame. Okay? (To the fireman) I warned her about those candles.
Chandler: God, its great to catch up! I cant believe how long its been!
Chandler: (on phone) Hi! Im back. (Goes to hang up the phone.) Yeah, that sounds great. (Listens) Okay. Well, well do it then. (Listens) Okay, bye-bye. (He hangs up the phone and turns around to see Joey standing close to him and screams.)
Joey: Hey listen, so whens-whens my audition? I mean I know its Thursday, but what time?
Chandler: (To Joey) We didnt get to the audition. Im gonna take her to coffee and then well do it then.
Chandler: Honey, it is not a date! I havent talked to her in ten years! You cant just call up somebody you havent talked to in ten years and ask them for a favor. There are rules, yknow? You gotta, you got to put in some time.
Monica: Youre right, Im sorry. Its not like youre yknow, going out with an ex-girlfriend.
Monica: All right, well why dont I go out with an ex-boyfriend and do Joey a favor?!
Dana: Yknow who I ran into from school? Howie.
Chandler: Yeah, Ive always hated that Howie.
Dana: No, no "How you doing?" Man, I mean not even a cup of coffee first!
Monica: Now, this is last minute so I want to apologize for the mess. Okay?
Rachel: Oh my God! It sure didnt look this way when I lived here.
Monica: I know! Now look, theres only one problem though. Theres only room for one, so I guess one of you will have to stay at Joeys.
Phoebe: Well, since the fire was kinda my fault I guess (To Rachel) you should get to stay here.
Monica: So Rach! Youre the first guest at Hotel Monica! Umm, youll just have to tell me how you like your eggs in the morning. And I thought I would bring them to you, yknow, in bed. Oh, you have been through so much.
Rachel: I have.
Joey: This right here is where I keep the pizza. (He points to the chair.) And uh thats where the napkin is. (Points to the floor next to the chair.)
Joey: I know! (Shrugs his shoulders.)
Ross: What? Of course I did! You uh, you sat next to Sleepy Sleeperson.
Ross: Oh uh, I had trouble remembering everyones name, so I-I kinda came up with nicknames. Like the guy on the other side of you was Smelly von Brownshirt.
Ross: Listen, I gotta tell ya, I-Im having a great time! Yknow how before you said it might be weird, the whole student teacher thing, and to be frank I thought it would be too, but its not. I mean its not at all.
Rachel: I did.
Rachel: I did, Monica was so sweet she left a little mint on my pillow.
Phoebe: Yeah I know, it was my candle. My candle!
Phoebe: I dont use a curling iron.
Joey: This is where I keep the pizza. (Its the same location as before.) AndHey! Where did the napkin go?! (The napkin is not in its spot.)
Monica: Now there you go! I wouldnt want my best guest to strain her eyes!
Phoebe: What the smell from Joeys? No, I can hardly smell it over here.
Monica: Well you let me know if you can, because yknow I can bake a pie to cover it.
Phoebe: I can smell it a little, bake the pie.
Joey: (in a funny voice) Yeah, so it turns out that it wasnt the hair straightener that started the fire. (Rachel prompts him on what to say next.) No-no, it was the candles. Its very not good leaving candles unattended. In fact, one of the first things they teach you in fire school is (Phoebe suddenly enters.) Uhh Uhh Okay. Well, I have to go now. (Phoebe leaves.)
Ross: We had such a great time! Shes-shes incredible! I thought the-the age difference might be a problem, but it wasnt. It wasnt at all. Elizabeth is very mature for her age. (Joey makes the international sign for big boobies.) (To Monica) A concept lost on some people!
Ross: Well, not really. I mean technically its-its not against the rules or anything, but it is frowned upon. Especially by that professor we ran into last night, Judgey von Holierthanthou.
Ross: Yeah. What-what should I do?
Joey: Well Ross, it seems pretty clear. I mean whats more important? What people think or how you feel, huh? Ross, you gotta follow your heart.
Joey: Hey-hey-hey! So, how did it go with Dana? Any reason I should leave a block of time open say Thursday?
Chandler: I couldnt do it.
Chandler: Hey, relax I just need more time. Were going to dinner tonight.
Dana: Wow. Oh, I am really flattered, but I just I dont feel that way about you.
Dana: Im sorry Chandler, yknow you are such a sweet guy and I, I dont want to hurt you. Oh, I wish there was something I can do to make you feel better.
Chandler: (breaking up) Well, it just hurts so bad. I uh
Dana: Ohh, Im sorry.
Chandler: Well, I umm, I mean this is just off the top of my head now, umm but I have this friend. This actor friend and he would kill me if he thought I was doing this umm, but umm would it be possible for him to get an audition for your movie say on Thursday?
Chandler: Well, the heart wants what it wants. Ill see you later. (He runs off and leaves her with the bill, which the waiter promptly delivers.)
Monica: Yes it has! I made cookies!
Phoebe: Oh thats all right. Im still full from your homemade potato chips.
Phoebe: (gritting her teeth) Okay, Ill be out in a second.
Rachel: Ive never lived like this before.
Joey: I know.
Joey: All right, dont waste it, I mean its still food. (He picks it up and eats it.)
Elizabeth: Uhh, I cant.
Elizabeth: No, I have some turning 21 to do.
Ross: Yknow I remember when uh, when I was in college, we used to (He sees some of his colleagues enter and puts his head on her lap.)
Ross: Nothing, Im-Im just, Im so comfortable with you!
Ross: What? No! Of course, of course I do! Are-are they gone?
Elizabeth: Uh no, theyre still here but I think Im about to leave.
Ross: What?! No! No! Wait! Youre right, this is stupid. Who cares what people think? I mean, I mean we like each other right? Theres nothing wrong with that. Come on. (They get up and go over to the table where his colleagues are sitting.) Burt? Lydia? Mel? This is Elizabeth.
Rachel: I love it at Joeys!
Joey: Oh, very funny. I dont know if you remember, but my audition was supposed to be Thursday. (Chandler doesnt say anything until Joey figures it out.) You got me the audition?! Lets hug it up! (They hug.)
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Listen umm, yeah okay, I need to talk to you!
Phoebe: Now I know that they said that the umm, the hair straightener started the fire but I think Im partly at fault. You see, I didnt, I didnt tell you but umm, but I-I had recently refilled the tissues and so yknow lets just face it, thats just kindling! So I think its better that I stay at Joeys.
Rachel: No, no-no-no. Phoebe, this was my fault and besides yknow what? Im fine here.
Chandler: No! No! No! I was so careful! (Runs out.)
Rachel: No! No! Phoebe, come on! I dont want to switch! Please come on! I can throw wet paper towels here!
Rachel: I know. Im sorry.
Ross: Wow! It actually is in the handbook. I cant date you or have a hot plate in my office. I cant believe we have to stop seeing each other.
Elizabeth: For what its worth I did appreciate you standing up for me. It felt really nice. It kinda made me like you even more.
Ross: I know, I know I really like you too. But we-we cant date. Its against the rules. Its forbidden.
Ross: (to Rachel): OK, I am calling your seventeen. What do you got?
Ross: No, it's not just that. It's justI want someone who... who does something for me, y'know? Who gets my heart pounding, who... who makes me, uh... (begins to stare lovingly at Rachel)
Chandler: I don't sound like that.
Phoebe: Okay! Oh my God! My first bike! Thank you for the best present Ive ever gotten.
Mindy: Oh no, it isn't! No! I think Barry is seeing someone in the city.
Joey: (to Rachel) Bub!!! (Points at her and quiets Rachel.) (To Dina) I cant believe this! Youre the good one! You went to college! Both years! Who did this to you?!
Rachel: No! No, I am not getting in a car with Ross, we will just have to live here!
Guy: Wait. You're right. I know you're right. And, thanks for being so nice. Here (gives her the flowers he bought.)
Chandler: Yeah! When you were talking about Roger, that was killing me! Look, things like last night they dont just happen. Yknow? Or at least not to me. Or with the other two women, in the morning yknow I was just lying there and I couldnt wait to just go hang out with my friends, but with you I always yknow with a friend.
Danny: Hey, hi, I need a ladle. You got a ladle?
Mindy: No me, I am so sorry...
Rachel: Oh, I am so sorry.
Emily: I wish I didnt have to go.
Phoebe: Oh, Im sorry. Is that annoying? And speaking about being selfish in bed, hows Whitney?
Chandler: Y'know, I don't know if you've ever looked up the term goofing around in the dictionary... Well, I have, and the technical definition is, two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just wanna spend more time together. But if you have this new fangled dictionary that gets you made at me, then we have to, y'know, get you my original dictionary. I am *so* bad at this.
Rachel: I dont care how long ago it was! You told people that I was half and half! Yknow what? I just want to point out I never did anything to hurt you in high school.
Monica: Ok, so I think I'm just about done here, unless you have any bad stuff hidden somewhere, like... porn or cigarettes?
Rachel: Yeah, but it was different with him today! And he wasn't, like, Orthodontist Guy, y'know? I mean, we had fun! Is there anything wrong with that?
Rachel: Cat! What'm I saying? Cat!
Barry: (to Mindy) I swear, whatever I was doing, I was always thinking of you.
Chandler: I would have to say that is an 'L'-shaped bracket.
Rachel: Well, what'm I gonna do? What'm I gonna do?
Chandler: Okay, I don't sound like that. That is so not true.
Chandler: Well, I'm gonna get another espresso. Can I get you another latte?
Chandler: ...I dunno.
Rachel: Youre right. Youre right. I mean Im about to have a baby, I can tell my mother that I dont want her to just be sleeping on my couch! Oh my God! Shes gonna want to sleep in my bed with me. This cannot happen!
Phoebe: I know, but that creep that I went on that date with goes to there so I have to find a new one. I also have to find a new video store, a new bank, a new adult bookstore, a new grocery store
Monica: I know. It's just such reckless spending.
Monica: I have no idea. But look how much they spent!
Phoebe: Oh, Im so sorry. Um, and maybe Im wrong! I butyknow Im gonna go out with him again, Ill find out more.
Rachel: Well, the first time didn't really count... I mean, y'know, 's'Barry.
Joey: Plus, y'know, I think it should be Joe. Y'know, Joey makes me sound like I'm, I dunno, this big. (Waitress looks at him funny) Which I'm not.
Rachel: No! Ross, no! It is not fine! Eh-eh-according to my plan I should already be with the guy I wanna marry!
CHANDLER: Oh, I thought that's what they used to cover Connecticut when it rained.
Monica: This is so unfair! She's got everything I want, and she doesn't have my mother.
Joey: Joseph Stalin. I think you'd remember that!
Monica: This woman's got my life, I should get to see who she is.
Rachel: Honey, come on, I have to be at work in like ten minutes (Ross starts kissing her neck) Oh, all right, well it's not like I'm employee of the year or anything. (they fall onto the couch)
Teacher: May I help you?
Phoebe: I think she means (Imitates) 'You dance
Mindy: Okay, okay... when Barry was engaged to you, he and I...kind of... had a little thing on the side.
Chandler: Yes, yes I did, but what I didn't say was what I was about to say, what I wanted to say was, uh... would you like to go out with me sometime, thankyou, goodnight. (He walks back to the others but she calls him back.)
Mike: Excuse me, hi. I was hoping I would run into you. Can we talk?
Phoebe: I don't know what I'm gonna do about this coat.
Joey: Y'know, I've done nothing but crappy plays for six years. And I finally get my shot, and I blow it!
Joey: Well, not so good. She definitely thinks tonight is the night we're gonna... complete the transaction, if you know what I...
Joey: I can't believe it, Ross. This sucks!
Helena: Well I wouldnt miss it for the world. Oh! Im getting all misty here! Youd think I was having my legs waxed or something. (Goes back on stage.)
Chandler: I noticed you were enjoying that Ravioli with a beautiful set of teeth. Did you have braces as a child?
Phoebe: And on my way over here, I stepped in gum. ...What is up with the universe?!
Monica: Anyway, I picked up this outfit that I want to wear and the, and the boots dont really go with it.
Monica: Uh, ah. Unless you wanna stay over? I mean, I'm going to, so...
Chandler: (shocked) Well I mean, let me get the door first. (Goes and opens the door.) Oh, hi! No one. (Exits.)
RICHARD: Uh, Phoebe, I don't think your mom would want you to see what's about to happen.
Joey: Come on Rach, not again. I got it! Okay? Lets start sailing, and I want to go over there (Points) where that boatload of girls is! (Yelling to them) Yo-ho-ho!
Young Ethan: Oh god, don't tell me, I did it wrong.
Young Ethan: I just had sex.
Ross: O is for "oh, wow!" The V is for this very surprising turn of events, which I'm still fine with by the way. E is for how extremely normal I find it. That you two are together. And now one day you might get married and have children of your own.
Erin: Or Ill call you!
Chandler: You think I should?
Phoebe: I really do, yeah.
Ross: No, no you don't understand the animal hospital is way across town he's choking I don't know what else to do.
Ross: No, because she hasnt come home yet. And she hasnt been home all night! Shes obviously staying with that other guy, and Im the stupid moron who spent the whole night outside her apartment!
Chandler: (sarcastically) Oh, I left them on my bulldozer... I don't have tools!
Rachel: Oh I know, my God, this is sothis rice is soI am so good.
Mark: All right, all right, Im coming over, and Im bringing Chinese food.
Ross: Except we're not. I mean, we haven't been a couple in like, six years. Oh my god, is that right? Has it been that long?
Chandler: Well, that's what we do. Y'know, I-I mess up and then you tell me how to fix it and then I do and then y'know you think I'm all cute again.
Chandler: But I just wa...
Chandler: It's OK. It's OK. I was always rooting for you two kids to get together.
Mindy: Oh God! You see, that's what I was afraid of!
Rachel: I don't know where the phone is.
Charlie: You know, by the way. I heard you tell her not to do anything. Thanks for sticking up for me. You are such a nice person.
Joey: That's right I am! (Opens drawer and rummages through it. Rachel enters)
Rachel: Yeah, well, it's a Mercedes if I move back home. Oh, it was horrible. He called me young lady.
Phoebe: This is madness. It's madness, I tell you, for the love of God, Monica, don't do it!! ...Thank you.
Phoebe: Thanks. Hi, um, 'kay. I'd like to start with a song that's about a man that I recently met, who's, um, come to be very important to me. (Monica gives her a look) 'Kay. (Sung:)
Monica: No I totally disagree. No I think it's fine for a guy to do something like that. Such you an actor. Not that you need to,your eyebrows are...
Phoebe: Did I miss it, did I miss it?
Ross: Oh, and she's pregnant with my baby. I always forget that part. (to Carol and Susan) Helloo!
Mrs. Geller: Oh thats all right, Im coming back later with your father.
Chandler: (to Rachel) You see what I mean.
Rachel: Joey, just-just he-hes new in town and I know he doesnt have any guy friends. Just take him to like a ball game or something. Ill really appreciate it.
Ross: I got itI'm getting it!
Rachel: I'm so sorry, you guys. I didn't mean to bring you down.
Rachel: Hi, I thought you might like some ice chips.
Carol: Am I allowed to drink anything?
Monica: I want a baby.
Chandler: I used to have that bumper sticker.
Ross: Hey I uh just picked up Ben from school
Joey: I dunno, I loved high school. Y'know? It was just four years of parties and dating and sex.
Chandler: I can't remember the last time I got a girl to take care of my monkey.
Monica: Look, I don't wanna do this test either, but I really do think it's a good idea!
Phoebe: Well, you know what Chandler? I think you've gotta face it. You're like, the guy in the big office, you know. You're the one that hires them, that fires them... They still say you're a great boss.
Monica: Why won't I be married when I'm 40?
Chandler: Oh, no, no. I just meant hypothetically.
Chandler: (pause) I dont have your boots.
Rachel: Pheebs, if I had never met him this never would have happened!
Monica: No, I haven't seen him.
Monica: Oh no, it is okay, I mean as long as you know that Chandler and I are also very hot and fiery, just as hot as you! I mean our flame, whew, is on fire!