words in movies
Chandler: Monica and I are celebrating our ten-month anniversary, we've got reservations at Ja George.
Caitlin: Ugh, I hate it! I look like an 8-year-old boy.
Ross: The flirting! Aren't you supposed to be going out with, I don't know hmm, let's say my sister?!
Chandler: I was not flirting.
Rachel: I am so proud of Joey, I can't believe he's going to be on Law & Order!
Phoebe: I know. But don't you think that it should be called Order and Law?
Chandler: I was not flirting.
Chandler: I was not and oh God, shh!
Rachel: Ross! We broke up two years ago; you've been married since then. I think it's okay that we see other people.
Phoebe: (looking through the pizzas) Okay pepperoni, pepperoni, pepperoni, okay Ross, I know she's pretty and you love her, but is she stupid?! She forgot my vegetarian!
Chandler: I'm sorry, I thought you were Joey's other grandmother. (She just stares at him.) I've done it again.
(They both start speaking Italian to each other, and since I'm not Italian and don't understand one word, we'll move on to the English portion of the show. Not, that I'm English. Not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just that I'm not. Y'know I think I should shut-up now and move on. Anyhoo, she says something about Joey being fat I think based on this line.)
Joey: Yeah, I uh weighted like 27 pounds when I was born so
Monica: So umm, when I was in the shower I was thinking about our first night in London
Chandler: Hey, why don't you wear those earrings I gave you?
Monica: That's a great idea! I was saving them for something special.
Phoebe: But I like it here!
Phoebe: Okay, well I think that they're in my purse. Why don't you go get dressed and I'll look for them.
Phoebe: Okay! (Walks over to Rachel) Rach, hi, I need those earrings you borrowed.
(Phoebe then gets possessed 'cause she starts speaking in tongues. She speaks Italian to Joey's grandmother. She is quickly exorcised and returns to speaking in English. Of course, too most people English is a strange language as well. But none of them are probably reading this and if they were they wouldn't understand it. So why am I talking about them? I have absolutely no clue. Moving on )
Phoebe: I guess so. (See, the brief possession didn't affect her at all, like we could really tell.)
Rachel: Okay, okay, okay, look, just don't freak out, but I kinda lost it. I know it's in the apartment, but I definitely lost it.
Phoebe: Well, what am I going to tell Monica? She wants to wear them tonight!
Rachel: Because I lose her stuff!
Rachel: Oh boy, I just can't watch. It's too scary!
Ross: I'll get it! I will get that! (Runs over and opens the door.)
Ross: Oh. Uh, by the way, if it makes you feel any better. I happen to like 8-year-old boys.
Ross: (I can't make it out.) The uh, your hair, before, your hair, you said you thought your looks like an 8-year-old's, and I'm just saying I like it. The hair.
Ross: You understand I don't actually like 8-year-old boys.
Ross: This is a girl that I really like and had too swoop in there!
Chandler: Thank you for that! (To Monica) I was not flirting.
Monica: It's okay. I don't care. It's uh, it's fine.
Monica: It's no big deal, I do it all the time.
Monica: Sure! It doesn't mean anything! Just like I know it doesn't mean anything with you!
Chandler: Okay, but there is a big difference. You are a lot hotter than I am.
Chandler: Yes, it does bother me! And I think it would bother a lot of people. Rachel, when you were going out with Ross, did it bother you when he flirted with other women?
Rachel: But y'know, I never really had anything to worry about. Ross was never very good at the flirting thing.
Ross: All right, all right. You-you-you know what I'm going to do? I am going to order another pizza and when Caitlin gets here, you-you--I will show how well I flirt. Yeah! I will, I will get her phone number! (To Chandler) And not the one on the menu!
Phoebe: (entering from Rachel's bedroom) I found it!
Joey: (smiling) I don't know. This little, old lady lives for my career. When they dumped me off of Days of Our Lives she almost died.
Joey: Soon, soon, I'm gonna be on soon. There I am! (Points to the screen, of course it isn't him.)
Monica: (following her) Phoebe! I have to have those earrings, we're going to leave as soon as the show is over.
Phoebe: But I already gave them back to you!
Phoebe: All right, I already didn't give them back to you, that's what I said. (Walks away over to Rachel.) Where is that other earring?
Rachel: It's not here Pheebs, it's not here. Ohh, I went to Joey and Chandler's last night! Okay! (Goes to the door.)
Phoebe: Ohh! I did not get that.
Joey: (To Ross in the kitchen) All right, it's another commercial; I still haven't told her!
Joey: I know, I know! What am I going to do? (Thinks) Ooh!
Rachel: The earring? No. But look, I found my sunglasses under the couch! I've been looking for these since like last summer. (Puts 'em on.)
Rachel: I don't know, I don't know.
Phoebe: I suppose I could tell her it's just all my fault.
Phoebe: Mon, can I talk to you for a sec?
Phoebe: Umm, I lost one of your earrings. I'm sorry! I am so, so sorry!
Monica: (shocked) Wow! All right well, I mean, what can you do? If you lost it you lost it.
Phoebe: I will replace it, I promise. I feel so terrible.
Rachel: Okay, wait a minute. Wait a minute, I-I-I, I can't do this. Listen honey, this is, it's not Phoebe's fault. She lent me the earrings, and I lost it. I'm so sorry. Honey, I feel terrible too. (Holds out her arms for a hug.)
Monica: (angrily) That is exactly why I do not lend you stuff!! (Rachel looks over at Phoebe in resignation.) Okay?! I mean, first it's my jewelry! And if it's not my jewelry, it's-it's my blue sweater! And if it's not my sweater, it's my sunglasses!
Rachel: Honey, you have nothing to prove. And if you really like this girl, I don't flirting is the right thing to (Ross interrupts and shushes her.)
Caitlin: No actually umm, I think that they're umm, gas.
Caitlin: Y'know what umm, actually I, I really, I should go.
Ross: (To All) Was I talking to her about gas?
Ross: Look, no-no, hey, hey, don't worry about it! In nine years, she and I will be right there. (Goes and sits on the couch dejectedly.)
Rachel: I know, I know, but uh just, I'm telling you, once, once you get past that part, that where it-it just feels like you wanna die, he's-he's really a good person.
Rachel: Yeah. I'm-I'm telling you he's really sweet and he's really funny and he's just ugh, got a good heart. And besides, I y'know, I think he really likes you.
Caitlin: I just, I thought Joey was there.
Rachel: (entering) Hey Ross? Umm, I just ran into Caitlin in the hallway and-and uh, you must be getting better at this flirting stuff than I thought.
Rachel: Well, I don't get it, but she wanted me to give you her phone number. (Hands him the slip of paper with the phone number on it.)
Ross: Rach, thanks but uh, I don't need you doing me any favors.
Rachel: I-I-I didn't! I didn't! She thought you were cute.
Ross: Well that I can believe.
Chandler: Why am I looking?
Joey: Oh, here I am, here's my big scene!
Joey: (on the tape) All right back off! I gotta gun! I'm not afraid to use it!
Joey: (on the tape) Now, I wanna a suitcase filled with 100,000 dollars. (The duck quacks, to the duck) Choo! Choo! Choo! (To the imaginary cops) Filled with $100,000 in small bills, and if I don't get it (the duck quacks louder) Choo!! And if I don't get it, (pause, picks up the duck) I'm gonna shoot this duck!
Phoebe: I am definitely gonna watch that!
Ross: You did so. I swear, I swear(noticing Kristin's absence) How long has she been in the bathroom?
Ross: No, I-I got really hot in my leather pants so I took them off but they must have shrunk from the-the sweat or-or-or my legs expanded from the heat. Look, I-I can't put them back on. I can't!
Joey: Don't worry, there wasn't any sex in it or anything. I haven't dreamt about her like that since I found out about you two--ish.
Monica: Yes. Uh, yes, I did. That was my friend, Eddie Moskowitz. Yeah, he likes it. Reaffirms his faith.
Charlie: Ross, why don't you tell Benji about your proposal, while I go to the ladies room?
CHANDLER: What're you kidding? I broke up with her. She actually thought that Sean Penn was the capital of Cambodia.
Joanna: Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait!! If youre gonna get all sensitive about it! I dont want to lose you. What if I, create a position for you? Ill make you an assistant buyer in this department.
Rachel: Oh, I wish he was a doll, then I could get a Rachel doll and bump them together and make kissy noises. Oh! And he has the most beautiful name, I never realised it, Joshua! Josh-u-a! Joshua! Josh.
Rachel: So? You guys are all sleep deprived. I dont see you weeping because you put your slippers on the wrong feet. Oh God. (Starts to cry harder.)
Joey: I would, but this is a nice place and my T-shirt has a picture of Calvin doing Hobbs.
Sandy: I er... I hope you don't mind. I used some of my home-made lotion on Emma. It's a mixture of calendula and honey cream. It'll dry that rash right up. Plus... It keeps the hands young... (it makes Rachel smile)
Chandler: Well, why dont you check in one of my saddlebags while I chew on a bale of hay!
Chandler: Look, I just dont think Monica and I are ready to get married yet! Yknow? I mean, I love her and everything but seeing Ross and Rachel coming out of that chapel was like a, like a wake-up call that Monica and I are moving so fast. Yknow? And, how do I tell her without crushing her?
Ross: (pause) Ross? I... I grew up on your block! We had Thanksgiving together last year... I had a baby with your sister!
Phoebe: All I got was a lousy key chain! And by that time I was living in a box. I didn't have keys!
Chandler: I dunno what it is, it just doesnt quite feel like Christmas to me.
Rachel: No. Okay. I was at the airport, getting into a cab, when this woman- this blonde planet with a pocketbook- starts yelling at me. Something about how it was her cab first. And then the next thing I know she just starts- starts pulling me out by my hair! So I'm blowing my attack whistle thingy and three more cabs show up, and as I'm going to get into a cab she tackles me. And I hit my head on the kerb and cut my lip on my whistle...oh...everybody having fun at the party? (To Monica) Are people eating my dip?
ROSS: Ohhh. Big boy, riding the bus--Hey, I have a question. How come it says Property of Human Services on his butt?
Monica: Well, I said 'no' to her coming over now! I couldn’t say 'no' twice! I get this uncontrollable need to please people!
Ross: (to Rachel) Im really glad we came. (Rachel smiles and rubs his arm) Youre so pretty. I love you.
Monica: Well, if you're gonna be totally rational about this, I can't argue with you! All right? Fine, if you wanna tell him, tell him. I just don't want to be a part of it.
Joey: Wow! Maybe uh, maybe you and I ought to get to know each other a little better.
Ross: Hmm-Hmm-Hmm. (Putting his hand up to block his mouth.) Okay. I, uh, am from Long Island. I-I came to the city for college. Um, I, um, have a 5 year old son and in my spare time I like to read spy novels. But, but, lets talk more about you. Hmm.
MONICA: No, if he doesn't like our cookies, too bad, I am not gonna be blackmailed. Look if worse comes to worse, it gets a little warm, we'll call it a theme party.
Fake Monica: I-I used to be just like you. And then one day I saw a movie that changed my life. Did you ever see Dead Poets' Society?
Ross: Monica's right, swing dancing can be tricky. I'm gonna use the phone. I gotta cancel those five giant teddy bears I sent to Emily. (Looks at the rose mulch.) My God, think of the massacre.
Chandler: Sorry, I just cant sleep. Ooh! (Turns on the light and Monica groans.) Where is that book that you are reading with the two women who were ice-skating and wearing, wearing those hats with the flowers on it? Because every time I look at that cover Im like (Fake snores.)
Ross: Oh-oh, Rach! I was just messin around! (Shes stunned) Like you did last night when I had to pee?
Joey: Huh. What if I was sweeping a chimney?
Ross: (sees the chick) Ohhh, hey! All right, listen, I-I have that TV thing in like two hours, and I need your help, okay? What do you think? (takes out two suits) This blue suit, or this brown one?
Steve (staring at Rachel): I - I just have to say this; you're really beautiful.
Ross: Hey, I am not unemployed. Im on sabbatical!
Rachel: Okay, you are crazy! I'm sorry, but she sounded generally upset! I mean, listen! (She hits a button on the machine.)
Receptionist: I am sorry Mr. Bing, there's no record of your reservation in the computer.
Ross: Good, good. Yeah coz the more I thought about it, the more I realised I don't think marriage is neccessarily the right path for you.
Tommy: Ooh, I dont know. Probably the smell of freshly cut grass.
Mr. Geller: Well I dont know, I-I suppose we may have favored you unconsciously, you were a medical marvel! The doctor said your mother could
Joey: All rightoh! Listen, I know this is your party, but Id really like to the number of museum geeks that are gonna be there.
Ross: Yeah!!!! Yes, I made it! Im on time! (Grabs a bottle of water from a student, takes a drink, and splashes some on his face like the marathon runners do.) Okay, why dont we all uh, (Exhales loudly) open our books to page 23. Where (Exhales again) Where you will see a uh a bunch of uh red spots. Okay, (Closes his book.) umm, why dont, why dont you all start to read, while I(Passes out and collapses.)
Rachel: I am? Oh, look at that, yes I am. Enough about me, enough about me, Mr. Back from the Orient. Come on. I wanna hear everything! Everything. (Looks at Julie)
Ross: I gotta say, I have not had sex a lot of times before, this is the worst ever.
Joey: (sitting in a chair) Hey guys, so I just called the Powerball hotline, can you believe it? Nobody won.
Rachel: I don't know! I think it's kind of serious! Oh, you know... I was watching this thing on TV this morning about... Newcastle disease... and I think I might have it!!
Ross: Oh uh, I had trouble remembering everyones name, so I-I kinda came up with nicknames. Like the guy on the other side of you was Smelly von Brownshirt.
Rachel: Ok. You decorate dad's office and so now you're a decorator. Okay! I went to the zoo yesterday and now I'm a koala bear.
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, no. No, no, no, I just, I just need a pretend ticket.
Monica: Oh I love taking limos when nobody died!
Phoebe: Yes I did! Meet: Princess Consuela Banana Hammock! (She smiles from ear to ear)
Guy: Oh believe me, I-I-Ive been there. I had to sort mannequin heads at that Mannequins Plus.
Precious: Oh, my God, maybe you're right. Maybe I don't need him. I deserve to be treated with respect.
Ross: Well, fine. Fine! If-if Im the only person with any appreciation of the sanctity of the written word, Ill go up there and defend it myself! (Starts to do so, but stops and to the previous librarian) And dont you follow me!
Chandler: Well appealing as that does sound to her boyfriend (pause) and her brother, (the camera pans to Ross flashing Joey a very evil look; Joey gets scared) I cant do that we promised wed make each other gifts this year.
Phoebe: Oh, okay that explains it. I got a call at two in the morning, but all I could hear was, like, this high squeaky sound, so I thought okay its like a mouse or a opossum. But then I realized where would a mouse or a opossum get the money to make the phone call.
Ross: Yeah. Listen about that, the whole uh, who came on to who thing really doesnt matter. I mean, I think it wouldve happened either way. I mean if you hadnt initiated it I-I-I know I wouldve.
Chandler: Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-what-what if Martin Luther King had said that? (Imitating what his famous speech would sound like.) I kinda have a dream! I dont want to talk about it.
Luisa: I could... but I won't. If I find that monkey, he's mine. (Leaves)
RADIO: Uh, we've just gotten a call from Rachel, and she told us what Ross did. It's pretty appalling, and Ross, if you're listening, I don't wanna play your song anymore. Why don't we devote our time to a couple that stands a chance? Avery, Michelle's sorry she hit you with her car and she hopes you two will work it out.
Joey: Oh! Hey, somebody left their keys. (Looks at them) Ooohh, to a Porsche! {Transcribers note: Oh come on! Who would leave the keys to their Porsche behind? If I had a Porsche, Id have the keys surgically attached to my hand!} Hey Gunther, these yours?
Ross: And I'm fine never having heard it... (Rachel looks at Ross in a "why do you say that" manner) Rach, can I... can I see you for a sec?
Phoebe: Yeah, she came all the way back from Ross' building. Oh, the things she must have seen! And then she climbed up the fire escape and she tapped on the window with her teeny little paw and then we ran to let her in (Realizes, that Chandler starts to not believing her) I went to far, didn't I? When should I have stopped?
Ross: Okay, hey, that's okay with me. Two down and I have exactly twelve minutes.... Wha, my watch stopped. My watch. (shows Chandler) Okay, see, the, the dinosaur tail isn't going around any more. (grabs Chandler's watch) What time is it? It's 7:33, I have seven minutes. I have seven minutes!!
Shelley: (sheepish) Hey. Look, I'm sorry about yesterday, I, um-
Phoebe: (on phone) Hi! Yeah, Im calling on behalf of Monica Gellers eye, and is um, is Richard Burke in today. (Listens) (to Monica) Hes out of town, but does she want to see the on-call doctor?
Phoebe: No, no, I am against innocent trees being cut down in their prime, and their, their corpses grotesquely dressed in like tinsel and twinkly lights. (to Joey) Hey, how do you sleep at night?
Janice: Well umm, I thought I was going to go back to my apartment but then I just felt I couldnt really be alone tonight. (Joey walks into view of the open door behind Janice, sees her, gets a terrified look on his face, and flees in horror.) I was wondering if I could maybe stay here with you, just I really feel that I need to be with family.
Joey: Yeah-yeah, and if I get it by day Ill (In a sexy voice) Dr. Drake Remoray, but by night Ill be (In an announcers voice) Joey Trrrribbiani!
Ross: So honey this uh, this threesome thing umm, I mean how-how are you gonna start to find
Monica: No. It disappears back there behind that baseboard. For a minute there, I thought it went downstairs.
SUSAN: Yeah, a woman I went to college with just became the first female blacksmith down there.
Ross: (on phone) Item J437-A, color: winterberry. (Theres a knock on the door as he hangs up the phone. He answers it to Mona.) Hi umm, listen come here, come in. (She does so.) Im so-so sorry about yesterday. I-Im really sorry. Its just that I (He picks up the pink shirt.)
Monica: Okay, Ben, I wont tell your daddy that you had ice cream for dinner, if you dont tell about our little bonking incident.
Rachel: I got the tickets! I got the tickets! Five hours from now, shoop, shoop, shoop.
Janine: No! I mean you're a really nice guy and I'm happy to be your roommate and your friend, I'm just y'know, I just don't feel that way about you.
Joey: Yes I do! And were gonna go out, were gonna have a good time, and take your mind off of childbirth and c-sections and-and giant baby heads stretching out
Monica: I can�t believe I did this. I can�t believe I'm singing for the people, and they liked me! Hey, did you hear thatone shouting �look at those tips�! I mean, did I really help you get a lot of tips?
Rachel: Well, lets see. Uh, they gave me cute doctor today and in the middle of the exam I put my pinky in his chin dimple.
Phoebe: No, nothing like that. I was just...such a dummie. I taught this "massage-yourself-at-home-workshop." And they are.
Joey: Come on Pheebs! I cant take this anymore! Let-let me make it up to you. Huh? (Starts singing.) Ground control to Major Tom. Commencing countdown, engines on. Take your protein pills and put your helmet on!
Ross: No, no, with him. (He mimes holding the baby like a football.) I'm on this field, and they, they hike me the baby... and I, I know I've gotta do something 'cause the Tampa Bay defence is comin' right at me.
Rachel: All right. Lets say I had slept with Mark. Would you have been able to forgive me?
Ross: Ah, so then his plane didn't explode in a big ball of fire?... Just a dream I had- but, phew.
Joey: All right, fine... But if I enjoy this, you have only yourself to blame... (Chandler turns his back to the TV. Joey puts the tape in the VCR, switches it on and watches what's on the tape... It's clearly a american football match, with the referee's whistle blowing, the crowds cheering...)
Monica: (To Phoebe) This is great! Now shes gonna be mad at Rachel! Yknow what? And Im just gonna swoop in there and be like the daughter she never had.
Phoebe: No Dr. Skeptismo! Im sure. First of all, okay, theres the feeling. (Chandler shrugs) Okay, and for another, how about the fact that she went into my guitar case which is lined with orange felt. (Rachel nods her head in unsure agreement) My Mothers favourite fish is Orange Roughy... (Joey thinks he understands, but then nods that he has no clue.) Cats....like....fish! (Ross and Rachel are totally lost) (to the cat) Hi, Mommy. (Rachel covers her mouth, in an Oh my God. gesture) Oh, I havent seen this smile in 17 years!
Gavin: Oh! Good! Because I was having a totally paranoid moment when I thought you called in sick to avoid me.
MR A: Oh, no, please, I spent most of mid-morning trying to stand up. Now uh, what can I do for you, my dear?
Monica: (throwing up the last present) I dont know how any of these got opened?!
Friend No. 1: Well, I would like to propose a toast to the woman, who in one year from today, become Mrs. Dr. Barry Farber DDS
Chandler: (To Ross) No, thats okay. (Ross nods and retreats.) Monica I thought this was going to be the most difficult thing I ever gonna had to do. But when I saw you walking down that aisle I realized how simple it was. I love you. Any surprises that come our way its okay, because I will always love you. You are the person I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. You wanna know if Im sure? (He leans in and kisses her.)
Ross: Oh my God! Im sorry, I was talking to this nurse, completely forgot.
Chandler: Ooh, you know, I had a grape about five hours ago, so I'd better split this with you.
CHAN: Oh, I know. This must be so hard. Oh, no. Two women love me. They're both gorgeous and sexy. My wallet's too small for my fifties, and my diamond shoes are too tight.
Rachel: Oh well, hello. This is your lucky day Mr. Bowmont, the uh gentleman day sailer as just become available again and I believe that you made a bid of $18,000.
PHOEBE: I didn't watch the ending, I was too depressed. It just kept getting worse and worse, it should have been called, "It's a sucky life and just when you think it can't suck any more it does."
Chandler: Well, thanks a lot for hookin me up Rach. I want you to know that I want you to attend our wedding as my guest.
Joey: I know, I know, but look at the knobs on her.
Ross: I was really upset about Rachel and Paolo, and I think I had too much tequila, and Nora- um, Mrs. Mom- your Bing- was just being nice, y'know, and- But nothing happened, nothing- Ask Joey, Joey, uh, came in-
Joey: This right here is where I keep the pizza. (He points to the chair.) And uh thats where the napkin is. (Points to the floor next to the chair.)
Ross: Well, you may wanna steer clear of the word 'dumped'. Chances are he's gonna be this, this broken shell of a man, y'know, so you should try not to look too terrific, I know it'll be hard. Or, y'know, uh, hey!, I'll go down there, and I'll give Barry back his ring, and you can go with Carol and Susan to the OB/GYN...
Chandler: (looking through the peephole) That's a lie, you went to the game, I can see Joey's hand.