words in movies
Chandler: I could fall asleep at a play.
Ross: Yeah, it does sound interesting, I mean, to listen to a woman complain for two hours, I don't think it gets bett... (Ross starts snoring, faking to fall asleep)
Phoebe: I know, I know, we can drive, we can vote, we can work, what more do these broads want?
Joey: You guys are gonna have a great time, I promise!
Joey: I wish I could but I just found out that I have to be at work really early the next day, so I can't go, but, you know, take the extra ticket and invite whoever you want.
Chandler: (browsing through a diary) Uh, let's see, who do I hate?
Rachel: Ooh... oooh... (pause) (Rachel is all bah-jiggity about Joey) oh, ah... (pause) (to Monica) Can I ask you a question?
Monica: No, I don't think it ever works. Why?
Rachel: (whispering) Why? (Monica gesticulates mumbling something that starts with "because") Seriously I did not understand a word that you said.
Rachel: Yeah! You know, ever since I had that dream about him, and can't get it out of my head! And what's the big deal, people do it all the time!
Rachel: I know them from work.
Rachel: I don't know, what were the names I just said?
Rachel: All right, all right, you're right, I won't do anything with Joey, I just thought that we (Joey enters the hall) Ok so that would be two cups of tarragon, one pound of baking soda and one red onion? (Joey enters his apartment)
Ross: Hey, you guys won't believe what I have to do for work today.
Ross: (covering with his hand Chandler's face, like pretending he's not there) (to Monica) There're these two professors who are joining my department and I have to meet them here and show them around campus.
Ross: It's I just know they're gonna be a couple of windbags wearing tweed jackets with suede elbow patches.
Ross: Oh, no, it's no big deal, I mean, if I weren't doing this I'd just, you know, be at the gym working out.
Chandler: (to Monica) No, I think we're just blurry shapes to him now.
Charlie: And, by the way, I really enjoyed your paper on the connection between geographic isolation and rapid mutagenesis.
Ross: Oh, ha, I wrote that in one minute.
Ross: I don't think so.
Jane: (from the answering machine) Hi Joey it's Jane Rogers, can't wait for your party tonight. Listen, I forgot your address, can you give me a call? Thanks, bye.
Joey: Oh, I'd love to, but I gotta get up so early the next day and so, you know me, work comes first
Joey: I do it every year.
Joey: I didn't have to tell you that!! I'm stupider than Jane Rogers!!
Joey: (Smiling) I can't believe you guys went for that one!
Joey: (speaking aloud) Please, I was trying to be nice, you're the worst one!
Rachel: Oh, Joey, come on! Please, please! Let me come, I will behave, I promise! I will behave! Please, please, please...
Professor Spafford: (speaking very slowly) And then my wife and I went on a cruise to the Galapagos. There was a sea food buffet you wouldn't believe. There were clams, and mussels, and oysters, and cracked crab, and snow crab, and king crab. It's a pity I'm allergic to shellfish.
Ross: Oh... ok, fine. But... ehm... I just have one question for you, ehm... (aping Professor Spafford) When we exit should we walk, or run, or prance, or stroll...
Charlie: Well, I think he's a little out there, but he does have some interesting ideas...
Phoebe: Yeah, I saw the article on your coffee table and I memorized the title to freak you out!
Ross: Oh my God, she's great! I mean, we-we have so much in common and she's just cool, and funny...
Monica: And I don't know if you've noticed but she's a (aloud) HOTTY!! (Charlie looks at her) HI!
Rachel: (she enters wearing a bath-robe) Hey... Hi you guys! Listen, you know what? I'm not feeling really well. I think I can't get out for the play.
Rachel: I don't know! I think it's kind of serious! Oh, you know... I was watching this thing on TV this morning about... Newcastle disease... and I think I might have it!!
Rachel: Oh, hi! I would check your hand but... I'm sure you don't want to get my chicken disease!
Monica: Hey, Rachel, Can-can I see you for a sec?
Rachel: What? Yes, I am!
Rachel: Oh, no, no! I heard you before, that is so not what this is!
Rachel: And he didn't want you guys to know about it but I came over here to tell you!!
Charlie: I thought you came to say you were sick.
Ross: No, I arranged that...
Joey: (looks perplexed and opens up his robe) Ok... I mean...
Monica: (Yells after him) I love you!
Joey: Hey, that's why I didn't invite you. you have to calm down, alright... go, go get yourself a drink or something...
Monica: (Excited) Oh my God, can you believe we are surrounded by all this? I can barely control myself.
Monica: (to Rachel) Hey! Joey said no autographs! But if she's gettting one, then I want one too: To Monica. And none of this "best wishes" crap. I want "love".
Monica: Oh man! If I had known I was coming to this party I never would have gotten married!
Monica: I guess you have forgotten all about Joey?
Rachel: Yeah, well, I guess I have forgotten about Joey and clearly you've forgotten about Chandler!
Charlie: Actually, I'm kinda happy to be leaving... I just broke up with someeone.
Charlie: Actually, Alby is the guy I broke up with.
Ross: ... And you called him Alby!? (laughs) I mean that's like... like calling Albert Einstein... er... Alby...
Ross: Eh, you think? I mean, you went out with a guy who improved the accuracy of radiocarbon dating by a factor of 10!
Ross: (very interested) Oh! like what?! (Charlie looks at him confused, but smiling) Oh I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry... it's just that this must be what regular people experience when they watch "Access Hollywood".
Charlie: Ok, you want the dirt? Alby was seriously insecure. I mean, he was really intimidated by the guy I dated before him.
Ross: (sarcastically) Oh Great! After I finish my wine I'm going to blow my... eh. average-sized brains out.
Ross: She... she only dates geniuses and Nobel Prize winners. Oh my God, at the chinese restaurant earlier today, I put chopsticks in my mouth and pretented to be a woolly mammoth.
Rachel: I always loved that!!
Ross: Of course you would, your brains are smaller than mine!! (Rachel nods) Man, I can't compete with the guys she goes out with, they are so out of my league! oh my God!
Ross: Oh much, much worse. I did my impression of Joan Rivers as one of the earliest amphibians... (gestures with his hands and says in an impression voice?) "Can we walk"? (Phoebe starts laughing) Oh, you... you like that?
Rachel: Come on! I think this is funny! (Ross leaves)
Bitter lady: Well, I bet you are all thinkin' "Now would be a really great time for an intermission", huh?
Chandler: I... I don't know... you seem lovely.
Dirk: Oh! Hey well listen, I play a scientist on "Days". And my character has just won the Nobel prize.
Ross: Oh, well no, but I mean, she only goes out with really, really smart guys.
Dirk: Hey, I got a 690 on my SATs.
Monica: Don't worry Joe, I won't come next year!
Rachel: (drunken voice) I think I am.
Joey: (browsing the tissues) Let me see if I approve any of these clowns. This guy wears a rug (discards one). This guy's Canadian (discards another). And this guy is in a cult, ok, and it costs you 5,000$ to get to level three and I don't feel any different.
Joey: That's true. But you know what, it doesn't matter because I already know who you're gonna go home with tonight.
Rachel: Oh! Screw it, I didn't get it! (they high-five)
Chandler: Oh yeah! I mean at first I hated it, but why wouldn't I, because as a man I've been trained (bitter woman's tone) not to listen! (pause) But after chapter 16: "fat, single and ready to mingle", I was uplifted.
Chandler: Oh yeah, I had no idea the amazing journey you go through as a woman! Tell me, tell me about your first period!
Monica: So I got it when I was 13...
Ross: Yeah, maybe. I do have my whole career in front of me. I mean, I can still win a Nobel prize. Although the last two papers I've written were widely discredited.
Phoebe: Good for you! And hey, I thought your paper on punctuated equilibrium in the Devonian era was top notch!
Rachel: I just wanted to let you know I've changed my mind: I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna kiss Joey.
Monica: That's different! I was drunk and stupid!
Rachel: I could, I could but I don't want to! I want to kiss Joey!
Monica: Alright (shrugs). I think it's a big mistake but it's your decision.
Monica: And I can't stop you.
Chandler: Oh well, this was a really important experience for me, and I wanted to share it with you.
ROSS: I don't know. What's in this pie?
ROSS: Kiwi? Kiwi? I thought it was a key lime pie.
Chandler: Oh yes, and thats what I want a roommate that I can walk around with and be referred to as the funny one.
Chandler: Oh, and Ive got Earth Science, but I'll catch you in Gym.
Girl: I just remembered, I have to do something.
RACHEL: Oh, no no no no. Oh no no no no. I have to do this to her?
CHANDLER: No, I got him.
Man: Really? Ive been dealing with Dr. Wells.
Dr. Franzblau: I'm sorry, I can't tell the baby to wait for them.
JOEY: (to Chandler) What'd I tell you? What'd I tell you?
RACHEL: What? Come on, it's not like I'm asking for this girly clock or anything, which, by the way, I also think is very cool.
Phoebe: Well, yeah! Fun is good, but y'know I also wanted to learn. Y'know, people are always talking about what they learned in high school and I never went to high school.
CAROLINE: I think it's great you guys are doing this.
TERRY: I, I don't know.
Joey: Oh, c'mon, I mean, there's you, then there's Charlie, and it's like... (sighs) What the hell is my problem? OH! (He falls back on the bed)
Shelley: Question. You're not dating anybody, are you, because I met somebody who would be perfect for you.
Ross: I thought, uh... it was a fifty cent limit.
Ross: Look, if I can just do what Emily wants and get her to New York, I'm sure everything will be fine.
Judy: Yes, you’ll be all grown up by then. We’ll be... Well your grandfather and I might not be here.
Mike's dad: (leans in towards Mike) I crushed a pill and put it in her drink... (to his wife) Come on, sweetheart.
Ronni: Oh, where'm I gonna stay, here?
Director: You know what. I think this audition is over. (Joey looks disappointed, but understands.)
Monica: (slams down cards) I hate this game!
MONICA: That's Great. You know we don't need to talk about this now. Really, I mean this is, is so way, way, way, in the future, I'm talkin' hovercrafts and apes taking over the planet.
Rachel: Okay sir, um-mm, let see if I got this right. Ah, so this is a half-caf, double tall, easy hazel nut, non-fat, no foam, with whip, extra hot latte, right? (the guy nods) Okay, great. (she starts to walk away and under her breath) You freak.
Chandler: Nothin! This is the nine millionth ring store weve been too and I cant find the perfect ring! (Goes over to another display counter and starts pointing at rings.) Ugly ring! Ugly ring! Ugly ring! (Notices that one of the jewelers is watching him.) Its a beautiful selection. (The jeweler walks away slowly.)
MONICA: No. But I remember people telling me about it.
ROSS: I hope Ben has a little sister.
RACHEL: Well, from me. And I know it's not your big money song, but it's my favorite.
ROSS: No, no, I don't wanna put it off, I just, God I just, I spent last year being so unbelievably miserable, ya know, and now, now I'm actually happy. You know, I mean, really happy. I just, I just don't wanna, I don't wanna mess it up, ya know.
Chandler: Look, Ross, you gotta understand, between us we haven't had a relationship that has lasted longer than a Mento. You, however have had the love of a woman for four years. Four years of closeness and sharing at the end of which she ripped your heart out, and that is why we don't do it! I don't think that was my point!
Phoebe: (goes and gets some cookies) Well, so, umm, anyway umm, Ive been, Ive been looking for my Father, and umm, have you heard from him, or seen him?
Chandler: I can't believe they are not here! I slave and I slave for what? They've ruined cranberry day!
Mike: No. well look can I think your weird and also cool for telling me the truth and also wanna kiss you.
Joey: You don't seem to understand. See, I was Dr. Drake Remoray.
Ross: She's having lunch with him. She's having lunch with him. And you should of seen the hug she gave him when she got the job. And, and, and, (to Joey) he's really good looking. (Joey gives an enthusiastic thumbs up) What am I gonna do?
Joey: (Yelling at Chandler) And that's how I know you didn't watch the tape! (goes back to his room and slams the door).
CHANDLER: I think they get it.
ROSS: Ooh, I, I'm so sick of missing stuff. Ya know, I want him for more than, than a day, I want him for a whole weekend. No listen , I mean, I feel like-
Chandler: I know, me too. Hey! Y'know what if we went away for a whole weekend? Y'know we'd have no interruptions and we could be naked the entire time.
Joey: (to Monica) Can I use your phone? (On phone) Yeah, the number for a Sidney Marks, please.
Monica: I kind of have to don't I? Because of this stupid thing (Points to her wedding ring.)
Ross: Okay look, do-do, you have anything Christmassy? I promised my son, and I really don't want to disappoint him, um, come on, I uh, you gotta have something.
Rachel: (as Monica) And by the way, have I mentioned that back in high school, I was a cow?
Monica: Maybe. I just hope she realizes how hard its gonna be.
Ross: I was working late in the library one afternoon. It was just the two of us. She needed some help with her word jumble. And one thing led to another. If you must know, Anita was very gentle and tender. May she rest in peace
PHOE: Really? That's so sweet. I mean, I'm officially offended but, sweet.
PHOE: So, I figured it out.
Chandler: If can invade Poland, there isn't anything I can't do.
Ross: Joey, Im not worried about her! Im worried about my baby! Whoever she dates my baby dates! Now-now where is this (makes the quote-marks sign) actor taking them?
Monica: Well, I was thinking, that you gave the guys such great haircuts, I thought, maybe you'd like to do mine?
Jamie: I think we have an answer.
Rachel: Hi, Im sorry Im late but I am ready, ready to talk you up! When does Lizs father get here?
JOEY: Maybe he, uhh... drives his car on the other side of the road, if ya know what I mean.
Flight Attendant: May I see your boarding pass?
Chandler: Sleeping with somebody new, anxiety, panic, and Im afraid even more sweating.
ROSS: When, when were you... under me? Rach. Rachel do you, I mean, were you, uh. . . What?
Joey: Oh! I got it! Ok, everyone pick a number from one to ten. Alright? Whoever gets the highest number gets to go first.
(She sets down her bag and we travel back to slow motion world. She once again whips her hair around in slow motion with the love doctor Barry White singing in the background. And Id also like to take this opportunity to mention that she can also be seen in Starship Troopers and that she was born in Downers Grove, Illinois which just happens to be a few miles from where I live. Anyway Cousin Ross is now staring.)
Ross: I dont think so. Hello? (Knocks on the glass, which angers the big, large, angry dog behind the glass and causes them to jump to the other side of the landing.) When you get in there (Joey nods his disapproval.)
JOEY: I can't find the remote. [Phoebe turns off the TV] Thank you.
MRS. GELLER: Over here Jack. OK. I see, Rachel's coming up the path. Oh doesn't she look pretty. Jack, get this. [Rachel enters with a huge nose]
MONICA: Fortunately, it is me. And, they made me head of purchasing, thank you very much. Anyway, I just ran into Ross and Chandler downstairs, and they think we should go out and celebrate. You know, someplace nice.
RACH: Alright, I got it Ross.
Mrs. Green: Its like youre a cave person. Rachel, you must get a nanny. You dont know how overwhelming this is going to be. I mean when you were a baby I had full time help, I had Mrs. Kay.
Chandler: ...Couldn't enjoy a cup of noodles after that. I mean, is that ridiculous? Can you believe she actually thought that?
RACH: 'Cause I don't need your stupid ship.
RICHARD: That's fine. Well, your other dad and I are gonna go have a romantic evening and I guess I'll just see you kids around.
[Scene: In front of Macys, Phoebe has adorned her bucket with numerous signs. Like "We are not a urinal!" and "I have no Macys info." And other stuff like that. She also has a scowl on her face as she is ringing her bell. A little old lady walks up to make a donation but Phoebe stops her.]
Ross: Hey, youre not going to believe this. I made up a joke and sent it in to Playboy. They printed it!
Ross: And confused. Rach, sweetie, I-I um I didnt propose to you.
Rachel: (interrupting him) Hi! Im gal pal Rachel Green, and if you want the dirt, Im the one you come too. This might be Joeys baby (rubbing her stomach), who knows? Im just kiddingSeriously, (leans into the cassette recorder Shelley is using) gal pal Rachel Green.
Monica: Oh, what a great argument, exhaling! All right, y'know what, Ill prove it to you, okay. Ill trade you Joey for Rachel, and Ill still win the game.
ROSS: And, uh, and then I kissed her.
Rachel: Yeah. Im gonna have a baby. Im gonna have a baby. Im gonna have a baby! (They all hug.)
MNCA: Wait a minute. I thought last night was great.
Rachel: Oh my God, wait did II just said Greens dont quit didnt I? (Pause) (Angrily) Did I just say Greens dont quit?!
Gunther: (entering with the cat) I just came for the red-velvet pillow.
Mindy: Now, I know things've been weird lately, but you're like my oldest friend in the world... Except for maybe Laurie Schaffer, who I don't talk to anywhere, 'cause she's all bitter now that she lost the weight and it turns out she doesn't have a pretty face. ....Okay, I'm just gonna ask you this once, and I want a straight answer.
Monica: Okay. (Opens the fridge.) All right, turkey. Eh, that wont work. Cheese? (Picks it up) That wont work. Olive loaf? (Picks it up) I hope that wont work.
Monica: Did it ever occur to you that I might just be that stupid?
Monica: I know, but now we have this second one and it just, it feels like its snowballing, yknow?
Rachel: Thats not her name! Im sorry, she just doesnt feel like an Isabella.
Charlie: Ooh... Is it because of what might be on the bedspread, because I saw that news report too, with the infra red and the ... I could just...
ROSS: Hootie and the--oh my. I, I can catch them on the radio.
Joey: I dont know! (All excited) I havent totally decided how to talk on my boat yet.
JOEY: Ross, listen. I got two words for you. Threesome.
ROSS: I don't know.
RACH: Well. [looks at watch] Woah, look at that! I gotta go, I gotta date. With a man. Um, OK, you guys have a really, uh, have a really good night and you two have a, uh, have a, uh, really good cat. [she leaves carrying her tray then comes back in] OK, we're not supposed to take these when we leave.
ROSS: I don't know. I mean, all right, I guess you can say she's a little spoiled sometimes.
MONICA: You know what, I think it's cute, you trying to be more like Richard.
Ross: Okay, I think we're getting into a weird area here...
Ross: How can I not get this? I'm a college professor; I got 1450 on my S.A.T.s.
RACH: Oh my god, I can't believe you let me put this in my mouth.
Phoebe: Okay Joey? Chandler's here, he was wondering (We hear the dial tone as Joey hangs up.) Okay, I guess he ran out of change.
Joey: Yeah, so, uh, so, uh, what's the deal with this father guy, I mean, if someone was havin' my baby somewhere, I'd wanna know about it, you know?
Monica: (Poking her head in) Rach? Can I talk to for just a minute? I-I dropped some socks.
Rachel: I don't know, you know, just the way she waltzed in here all smart, and tall! You know, and just swept Joey off his feet... I mean, nobody else has a chance!
CHANDLER: Janice was my safety net, ok? And now I have to get a snake.
RACH: Well, what's the other thing, what do I think?