words in movies
Chandler: I could fall asleep at a play.
Ross: Yeah, it does sound interesting, I mean, to listen to a woman complain for two hours, I don't think it gets bett... (Ross starts snoring, faking to fall asleep)
Phoebe: I know, I know, we can drive, we can vote, we can work, what more do these broads want?
Joey: You guys are gonna have a great time, I promise!
Joey: I wish I could but I just found out that I have to be at work really early the next day, so I can't go, but, you know, take the extra ticket and invite whoever you want.
Chandler: (browsing through a diary) Uh, let's see, who do I hate?
Rachel: Ooh... oooh... (pause) (Rachel is all bah-jiggity about Joey) oh, ah... (pause) (to Monica) Can I ask you a question?
Monica: No, I don't think it ever works. Why?
Rachel: (whispering) Why? (Monica gesticulates mumbling something that starts with "because") Seriously I did not understand a word that you said.
Rachel: Yeah! You know, ever since I had that dream about him, and can't get it out of my head! And what's the big deal, people do it all the time!
Rachel: I know them from work.
Rachel: I don't know, what were the names I just said?
Rachel: All right, all right, you're right, I won't do anything with Joey, I just thought that we (Joey enters the hall) Ok so that would be two cups of tarragon, one pound of baking soda and one red onion? (Joey enters his apartment)
Ross: Hey, you guys won't believe what I have to do for work today.
Ross: (covering with his hand Chandler's face, like pretending he's not there) (to Monica) There're these two professors who are joining my department and I have to meet them here and show them around campus.
Ross: It's I just know they're gonna be a couple of windbags wearing tweed jackets with suede elbow patches.
Ross: Oh, no, it's no big deal, I mean, if I weren't doing this I'd just, you know, be at the gym working out.
Chandler: (to Monica) No, I think we're just blurry shapes to him now.
Charlie: And, by the way, I really enjoyed your paper on the connection between geographic isolation and rapid mutagenesis.
Ross: Oh, ha, I wrote that in one minute.
Ross: I don't think so.
Jane: (from the answering machine) Hi Joey it's Jane Rogers, can't wait for your party tonight. Listen, I forgot your address, can you give me a call? Thanks, bye.
Joey: Oh, I'd love to, but I gotta get up so early the next day and so, you know me, work comes first
Joey: I do it every year.
Joey: I didn't have to tell you that!! I'm stupider than Jane Rogers!!
Joey: (Smiling) I can't believe you guys went for that one!
Joey: (speaking aloud) Please, I was trying to be nice, you're the worst one!
Rachel: Oh, Joey, come on! Please, please! Let me come, I will behave, I promise! I will behave! Please, please, please...
Professor Spafford: (speaking very slowly) And then my wife and I went on a cruise to the Galapagos. There was a sea food buffet you wouldn't believe. There were clams, and mussels, and oysters, and cracked crab, and snow crab, and king crab. It's a pity I'm allergic to shellfish.
Ross: Oh... ok, fine. But... ehm... I just have one question for you, ehm... (aping Professor Spafford) When we exit should we walk, or run, or prance, or stroll...
Charlie: Well, I think he's a little out there, but he does have some interesting ideas...
Phoebe: Yeah, I saw the article on your coffee table and I memorized the title to freak you out!
Ross: Oh my God, she's great! I mean, we-we have so much in common and she's just cool, and funny...
Monica: And I don't know if you've noticed but she's a (aloud) HOTTY!! (Charlie looks at her) HI!
Rachel: (she enters wearing a bath-robe) Hey... Hi you guys! Listen, you know what? I'm not feeling really well. I think I can't get out for the play.
Rachel: I don't know! I think it's kind of serious! Oh, you know... I was watching this thing on TV this morning about... Newcastle disease... and I think I might have it!!
Rachel: Oh, hi! I would check your hand but... I'm sure you don't want to get my chicken disease!
Monica: Hey, Rachel, Can-can I see you for a sec?
Rachel: What? Yes, I am!
Rachel: Oh, no, no! I heard you before, that is so not what this is!
Rachel: And he didn't want you guys to know about it but I came over here to tell you!!
Charlie: I thought you came to say you were sick.
Ross: No, I arranged that...
Joey: (looks perplexed and opens up his robe) Ok... I mean...
Monica: (Yells after him) I love you!
Joey: Hey, that's why I didn't invite you. you have to calm down, alright... go, go get yourself a drink or something...
Monica: (Excited) Oh my God, can you believe we are surrounded by all this? I can barely control myself.
Monica: (to Rachel) Hey! Joey said no autographs! But if she's gettting one, then I want one too: To Monica. And none of this "best wishes" crap. I want "love".
Monica: Oh man! If I had known I was coming to this party I never would have gotten married!
Monica: I guess you have forgotten all about Joey?
Rachel: Yeah, well, I guess I have forgotten about Joey and clearly you've forgotten about Chandler!
Charlie: Actually, I'm kinda happy to be leaving... I just broke up with someeone.
Charlie: Actually, Alby is the guy I broke up with.
Ross: ... And you called him Alby!? (laughs) I mean that's like... like calling Albert Einstein... er... Alby...
Ross: Eh, you think? I mean, you went out with a guy who improved the accuracy of radiocarbon dating by a factor of 10!
Ross: (very interested) Oh! like what?! (Charlie looks at him confused, but smiling) Oh I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry... it's just that this must be what regular people experience when they watch "Access Hollywood".
Charlie: Ok, you want the dirt? Alby was seriously insecure. I mean, he was really intimidated by the guy I dated before him.
Ross: (sarcastically) Oh Great! After I finish my wine I'm going to blow my... eh. average-sized brains out.
Ross: She... she only dates geniuses and Nobel Prize winners. Oh my God, at the chinese restaurant earlier today, I put chopsticks in my mouth and pretented to be a woolly mammoth.
Rachel: I always loved that!!
Ross: Of course you would, your brains are smaller than mine!! (Rachel nods) Man, I can't compete with the guys she goes out with, they are so out of my league! oh my God!
Ross: Oh much, much worse. I did my impression of Joan Rivers as one of the earliest amphibians... (gestures with his hands and says in an impression voice?) "Can we walk"? (Phoebe starts laughing) Oh, you... you like that?
Rachel: Come on! I think this is funny! (Ross leaves)
Bitter lady: Well, I bet you are all thinkin' "Now would be a really great time for an intermission", huh?
Chandler: I... I don't know... you seem lovely.
Dirk: Oh! Hey well listen, I play a scientist on "Days". And my character has just won the Nobel prize.
Ross: Oh, well no, but I mean, she only goes out with really, really smart guys.
Dirk: Hey, I got a 690 on my SATs.
Monica: Don't worry Joe, I won't come next year!
Rachel: (drunken voice) I think I am.
Joey: (browsing the tissues) Let me see if I approve any of these clowns. This guy wears a rug (discards one). This guy's Canadian (discards another). And this guy is in a cult, ok, and it costs you 5,000$ to get to level three and I don't feel any different.
Joey: That's true. But you know what, it doesn't matter because I already know who you're gonna go home with tonight.
Rachel: Oh! Screw it, I didn't get it! (they high-five)
Chandler: Oh yeah! I mean at first I hated it, but why wouldn't I, because as a man I've been trained (bitter woman's tone) not to listen! (pause) But after chapter 16: "fat, single and ready to mingle", I was uplifted.
Chandler: Oh yeah, I had no idea the amazing journey you go through as a woman! Tell me, tell me about your first period!
Monica: So I got it when I was 13...
Ross: Yeah, maybe. I do have my whole career in front of me. I mean, I can still win a Nobel prize. Although the last two papers I've written were widely discredited.
Phoebe: Good for you! And hey, I thought your paper on punctuated equilibrium in the Devonian era was top notch!
Rachel: I just wanted to let you know I've changed my mind: I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna kiss Joey.
Monica: That's different! I was drunk and stupid!
Rachel: I could, I could but I don't want to! I want to kiss Joey!
Monica: Alright (shrugs). I think it's a big mistake but it's your decision.
Monica: And I can't stop you.
Chandler: Oh well, this was a really important experience for me, and I wanted to share it with you.
Joey: Monica. Oh huh, I always thought it would be Rachel.
Ross: I don't know, umm
Chandler: I'm telling you, she gives the worst massages ever!! Okay, it was like she was torturing me for information. And I wanted to give it up I justI didn't know what it was!
Rachel: Okay, Ill see you back at home, if I ever get a flight out of here.
Joey: Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot you had that whole Rachel thing.
CHANDLER: I'll see you guys later, I gotta go...do a thing.
[Scene: Monica's eye doctor's office, Monica and Rachel are waiting in an exam room and looking at this big white thing used to check eyes. I have no idea what it is, and if an ophthalmologist happens to know what that is, let me know.]
Gary: Yeah, I-I considered that. I just know it would make me happy.
Phoebe: Oh, I believe it. I think the baby can totally hear everything. I can show you. Look, this will seem a little weird, but you put your head inside this turkey, and then we'll all talk, and you'll hear everything we say.
Chandler: But you did like us. And you should. My wife's an incredible woman. She's loving and devoted and caring. And don't tell her I said this but the woman's always right... I love my wife more than anything in this world. And I... It kills me that I can't give her a baby... I really want a kid. And when that day finally comes, I'll learn how to be a good dad. But my wife... she's already there. She's a mother... without a baby... Please?
Passenger: If youre planning on doing that throughout the entire flight. Please tell me now. So that I could that a sedative...or perhaps slip you one.
JADE: Hi, it's me. Listen, Bob. I'm probably way out of line here. I mean, It has been 3 years, and you're probably seeing someone else now, but if we could just have one night together, just for old time's sake, one hot, steamy, wild night...
Monica: I love you.
Ross: But we haven't seen each other since then. Well I land in China, guess who's in charge of the dig.
Emily: Id really rather talk to him.
Joshua: Kidding! (Rachel is relived) Im gonna get there early, but Im going to put you on the V.I.P list, okay? Look for me.
Joey: Man, I wish Ross was coming with us! Y'know? I'm gonna miss him!
Phoebe: Thanks a lot! I just got that jerk out of my mind!
Chandler: Yeah, I mean were gonna have to move around some furniture to make room for my chair. (Kisses her and heads into the living room.)
Monica: I wanna say good-bye at the car!
Ross: Well, I don't know.
ROSS: I was doing great with Julie before I found out about you.
Monica: No, of course not. It's not even an issue. Cause I told him I was 22.
Phoebe: Well, if you don't know I can't help you.
Phoebe: I don't know! I don't remember!
Phoebe: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't see you there.
Phoebe: Well, I can't help you.
Ross: Phoebe, are you, are you mad at me, or something? 'Cause if are please, tell me what it is I did!
Ross: (on the phone) Hi, this is Ross Geller in suite 206. It seems you forgot a couple of things. Could you have some complimentary toiletries sent up to my room? (pause) Thank you! Ok. Toothbrush, toothpaste, razor, mouthwash, deodorant, dental floss, band aids, shaving cream, after shave... and I feel like I am forgetting something... Is there anything else you have that I haven't asked for already? (pause) Yeah, go ahead, send up some tampons.
Janine: I was just coming over here to apologize for my behavior! Id really like it if we could be friends.
Chandler: I don't know.
Chandler: I also said, "Yes!"
Joey: I don't believe this!
Chandler: And hats off to Phoebe. Quite a competitor. (Pause) And might I say your breasts are still showing.
Joey: I think I left a donut up here.
Dr. Leedbetter: Umm, Ross. May I have a word with you?
Ross: I was just outside Barcelona, hiking
Joey: Yeah listen so, I thought I was getting better, so on my way home today I stopped by this guitar store and
Phoebe: I do!
Rachel: Okay, then y'know what? Help me! I need help! I can't do this!
Rachel: Because I knew you were lying!
Monica: Oh my God, I was thinking four.
Phoebe: Oh, Jack Bing. I love that. Ooh, it sounds like a '40s newspaper guy, you know? "Jack Bing, Morning Gazette. I'm gonna blow this story wide open!"
Rachel: I don't know... I mean, I've never looked at you that way before.
Ross: I know, it's crazy! We were just pushing Ben on the swings
Ross: Then, uh, then we got dressed, and I-I... I walked her to the- (looks up, realises, and points) -the bus stop... I'm fine.
Monica: Okay, I will. Remember that thing that we just discussed that you wanted to do?
Paul: Okay. Ill give you one chance to change my mind. (Ross laughs in relief) You got one minute. (Ross suddenly gets worried.)
Rachel: (Faking crying.) Yeah, he dumped me. He said, "Rachel, I cant do this. Even though you are a very, very, very beautiful women. I cant do this. Im married and Im sorry." And then I dont know why but he said, "and you will never get promoted. Especially not above Kim, who is an integral cog in the Ralph Lauren machine."
Joshua: Anyway, she burned all of my clothes. I got away with two things. This suit and what turned out to be a skirt.
Phoebe: You said I was boring--Ohh!
Monica: You can't fire me. I make your decisions and I say, "I'm not fired!" Ha!
Ross: When did I say you were boring?!
Ross: Phoebe! You and I have never played chess!
Ross: (he bounds into the lounge room) But you didn't! I'm still alive!! Kori, I know this is a big surprise for you. It's a long story but the things you just said really made my day! I mean, the fact that you are here means more to me than if this room were filled with people!
Monica: Well, I guess we should go back in. When you gave me another chance, I guess we should do the same for Amanda.
Ross: Well, Id love to! Here, you wait right here and Ill go get the projector and my notes!
Caitlin: Y'know what umm, actually I, I really, I should go.
Ross: Ah, well, it means that I can sell cookies, but Im not invited to sleep-overs.
Ross: Marcel, c'mere, c'mere. (He sits down and Marcel jumps down and sits beside him) Well buddy, this is it. There's just a coupla things I want to say. I'm really gonna miss you, and I'm never gonna forget about you. You've been more than just a pet to me, you've been more like a be- (Marcel climbs down and starts humping his leg) Okay, Marcel, please, could you leave my leg alone? Could you just stop humping me for two seconds?! Marcel, would- okay, just take him away. Just take him.
(They both start speaking Italian to each other, and since I'm not Italian and don't understand one word, we'll move on to the English portion of the show. Not, that I'm English. Not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just that I'm not. Y'know I think I should shut-up now and move on. Anyhoo, she says something about Joey being fat I think based on this line.)
Rachel: Oh my you think Im a pushover. Well wait, watch this, you know what? Youre not invited to lunch. What do you think of that? I think thats pretty strong, thats what I think. Come on, Monica, lets go to lunch. (She leaves)
Monica: Oh umm, that's because I just wanted to y'know walk in on me and Chandler while we were, y'know, doing it all night. Will you excuse me for just a second?
Phoebe: I'll get it, okay. (answers phone) Hi, Monica and Rachel's. (listens) Yeah, just a second, can I ask who's calling. (to Monica) Oh, ew, it's Michelle! Ew! She, she must have that Caller Id thing. You should get that.
Chandler: Oh, thats cool. Then Ill just bring them both over.
Rachel: (on answering machine) Hi, its me. Ive been trying to reach you all night. I feel awful. Please, Ross, you gotta know there is nothing between me and Mark. This whole break-up thing is just stupid.
Phoebe: Oh, I took Larry there to eat but it was all violated. So we shut it down!
Phoebe: When I was growing up, I didn't have a normal mom and dad, or a regular family like everybody else, and I always knew that something was missing. But now I'm standing here today, knowing that I have everything I'm ever gonna need... You are my family. (She puts the ring on Mikes finger)
Rachel: No! No! It's just that all the people in the entire world that I want to talk to are right here.
Joey: OK, listen Ive been on sets before, so let me give you a little advice, alright? Its a show, but were just dancing, OK? Its no big deal. The important thing to remember stay cool.
Joey: That's right, he almost could. Which is exactly how I got stuck there.
Monica: Okay, you can not tell Chandler. Okay? That I ran into Richard.
Monica: I know.
Chandler: Umm maam, do you have a minute? (She points for him to come in) I kind of have some bad news. I dont think I can move to Tulsa.
Phoebe: Wow! I owe Rachel 20 bucks!
Monica: I got you a present!
Chandler: I'm sorry, it was a one-time-thing. I was very drunk and i was somebody else's subconscious.
Chandler: Yeah, I think we should see other people.
Cop: Oh, I know a guy in homicide up there.
Monica: I know, but you have to open it today! (Hands it too him.)
Joey: (returning from a deli) Okay, I got it! This place makes the best sandwich in the world!
Phoebe: (to the woman behind her) This place is so depressing. If I had to work here I'd kill myself. (she turns around and the clerk behind the counter heard her.) But you obviously haven't.
Joey: Look no, I-I know its bad, and I know its wrong. Okay? But-but its not like anythings ever gonna happen. Yknow? These-these are just feelings, theyre gonna go away.
Rachel: No! So I can be by myself. Y'know? Have a little alone time.
Chandler: I don't know, I'm very tired.
Chandler: I said art lover.
Ross: So Rach, maybe you and I could fly out together Saturday.
Woman: I can dial 9-1-1 at the touch of a button, y'know. Now, go away!
Chandler: Okay, I get it. So, I get nothing! Nothing here is mine! Everything here is yours! Ill get up in the morning put on your clothes, and head off to work!
Rachel: I just saw Danny getting on the subway with a girl and he had his arm around her.
Monica: Aww! I love you!
Monica: I love the "I forgot the present" fake out!
Monica: Okay, I freaked out a little.
Phoebe: Oh, okay, umm, hi kids! Um, it's me, Aunt Phoebe. I can't wait to see you. Please don't hurt me!
Rachel: Handling it? What do you mean, handling it? Theres nothing to handle. Now, maybe I would have a problem with this if it wasnt for me and Joshua. Yknow, theyre not gonna get married anyway!
Ross: Look, this is my home and I want to be able to come and go whenever I want!
Joey: Don't you lie to me! I could tell by Chandler's hair. (To Chandler.) You are so lazy. Can't you get on top for once?
Mr. Waltham: All right, Ill tell her. (To his wife) Come on bugger face!
PHOEBE: I like this lily. It's more open, ya know, and that's like my mom. She had a more open, giving spirit. Ooh, Foghorn Leghorn, ooh.
Chandler: Carol? I was just wondering if Joey could ask you a question about breast-feeding?