words in movies
Chandler: I could fall asleep at a play.
Ross: Yeah, it does sound interesting, I mean, to listen to a woman complain for two hours, I don't think it gets bett... (Ross starts snoring, faking to fall asleep)
Phoebe: I know, I know, we can drive, we can vote, we can work, what more do these broads want?
Joey: You guys are gonna have a great time, I promise!
Joey: I wish I could but I just found out that I have to be at work really early the next day, so I can't go, but, you know, take the extra ticket and invite whoever you want.
Chandler: (browsing through a diary) Uh, let's see, who do I hate?
Rachel: Ooh... oooh... (pause) (Rachel is all bah-jiggity about Joey) oh, ah... (pause) (to Monica) Can I ask you a question?
Monica: No, I don't think it ever works. Why?
Rachel: (whispering) Why? (Monica gesticulates mumbling something that starts with "because") Seriously I did not understand a word that you said.
Rachel: Yeah! You know, ever since I had that dream about him, and can't get it out of my head! And what's the big deal, people do it all the time!
Rachel: I know them from work.
Rachel: I don't know, what were the names I just said?
Rachel: All right, all right, you're right, I won't do anything with Joey, I just thought that we (Joey enters the hall) Ok so that would be two cups of tarragon, one pound of baking soda and one red onion? (Joey enters his apartment)
Ross: Hey, you guys won't believe what I have to do for work today.
Ross: (covering with his hand Chandler's face, like pretending he's not there) (to Monica) There're these two professors who are joining my department and I have to meet them here and show them around campus.
Ross: It's I just know they're gonna be a couple of windbags wearing tweed jackets with suede elbow patches.
Ross: Oh, no, it's no big deal, I mean, if I weren't doing this I'd just, you know, be at the gym working out.
Chandler: (to Monica) No, I think we're just blurry shapes to him now.
Charlie: And, by the way, I really enjoyed your paper on the connection between geographic isolation and rapid mutagenesis.
Ross: Oh, ha, I wrote that in one minute.
Ross: I don't think so.
Jane: (from the answering machine) Hi Joey it's Jane Rogers, can't wait for your party tonight. Listen, I forgot your address, can you give me a call? Thanks, bye.
Joey: Oh, I'd love to, but I gotta get up so early the next day and so, you know me, work comes first
Joey: I do it every year.
Joey: I didn't have to tell you that!! I'm stupider than Jane Rogers!!
Joey: (Smiling) I can't believe you guys went for that one!
Joey: (speaking aloud) Please, I was trying to be nice, you're the worst one!
Rachel: Oh, Joey, come on! Please, please! Let me come, I will behave, I promise! I will behave! Please, please, please...
Professor Spafford: (speaking very slowly) And then my wife and I went on a cruise to the Galapagos. There was a sea food buffet you wouldn't believe. There were clams, and mussels, and oysters, and cracked crab, and snow crab, and king crab. It's a pity I'm allergic to shellfish.
Ross: Oh... ok, fine. But... ehm... I just have one question for you, ehm... (aping Professor Spafford) When we exit should we walk, or run, or prance, or stroll...
Charlie: Well, I think he's a little out there, but he does have some interesting ideas...
Phoebe: Yeah, I saw the article on your coffee table and I memorized the title to freak you out!
Ross: Oh my God, she's great! I mean, we-we have so much in common and she's just cool, and funny...
Monica: And I don't know if you've noticed but she's a (aloud) HOTTY!! (Charlie looks at her) HI!
Rachel: (she enters wearing a bath-robe) Hey... Hi you guys! Listen, you know what? I'm not feeling really well. I think I can't get out for the play.
Rachel: I don't know! I think it's kind of serious! Oh, you know... I was watching this thing on TV this morning about... Newcastle disease... and I think I might have it!!
Rachel: Oh, hi! I would check your hand but... I'm sure you don't want to get my chicken disease!
Monica: Hey, Rachel, Can-can I see you for a sec?
Rachel: What? Yes, I am!
Rachel: Oh, no, no! I heard you before, that is so not what this is!
Rachel: And he didn't want you guys to know about it but I came over here to tell you!!
Charlie: I thought you came to say you were sick.
Ross: No, I arranged that...
Joey: (looks perplexed and opens up his robe) Ok... I mean...
Monica: (Yells after him) I love you!
Joey: Hey, that's why I didn't invite you. you have to calm down, alright... go, go get yourself a drink or something...
Monica: (Excited) Oh my God, can you believe we are surrounded by all this? I can barely control myself.
Monica: (to Rachel) Hey! Joey said no autographs! But if she's gettting one, then I want one too: To Monica. And none of this "best wishes" crap. I want "love".
Monica: Oh man! If I had known I was coming to this party I never would have gotten married!
Monica: I guess you have forgotten all about Joey?
Rachel: Yeah, well, I guess I have forgotten about Joey and clearly you've forgotten about Chandler!
Charlie: Actually, I'm kinda happy to be leaving... I just broke up with someeone.
Charlie: Actually, Alby is the guy I broke up with.
Ross: ... And you called him Alby!? (laughs) I mean that's like... like calling Albert Einstein... er... Alby...
Ross: Eh, you think? I mean, you went out with a guy who improved the accuracy of radiocarbon dating by a factor of 10!
Ross: (very interested) Oh! like what?! (Charlie looks at him confused, but smiling) Oh I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry... it's just that this must be what regular people experience when they watch "Access Hollywood".
Charlie: Ok, you want the dirt? Alby was seriously insecure. I mean, he was really intimidated by the guy I dated before him.
Ross: (sarcastically) Oh Great! After I finish my wine I'm going to blow my... eh. average-sized brains out.
Ross: She... she only dates geniuses and Nobel Prize winners. Oh my God, at the chinese restaurant earlier today, I put chopsticks in my mouth and pretented to be a woolly mammoth.
Rachel: I always loved that!!
Ross: Of course you would, your brains are smaller than mine!! (Rachel nods) Man, I can't compete with the guys she goes out with, they are so out of my league! oh my God!
Ross: Oh much, much worse. I did my impression of Joan Rivers as one of the earliest amphibians... (gestures with his hands and says in an impression voice?) "Can we walk"? (Phoebe starts laughing) Oh, you... you like that?
Rachel: Come on! I think this is funny! (Ross leaves)
Bitter lady: Well, I bet you are all thinkin' "Now would be a really great time for an intermission", huh?
Chandler: I... I don't know... you seem lovely.
Dirk: Oh! Hey well listen, I play a scientist on "Days". And my character has just won the Nobel prize.
Ross: Oh, well no, but I mean, she only goes out with really, really smart guys.
Dirk: Hey, I got a 690 on my SATs.
Monica: Don't worry Joe, I won't come next year!
Rachel: (drunken voice) I think I am.
Joey: (browsing the tissues) Let me see if I approve any of these clowns. This guy wears a rug (discards one). This guy's Canadian (discards another). And this guy is in a cult, ok, and it costs you 5,000$ to get to level three and I don't feel any different.
Joey: That's true. But you know what, it doesn't matter because I already know who you're gonna go home with tonight.
Rachel: Oh! Screw it, I didn't get it! (they high-five)
Chandler: Oh yeah! I mean at first I hated it, but why wouldn't I, because as a man I've been trained (bitter woman's tone) not to listen! (pause) But after chapter 16: "fat, single and ready to mingle", I was uplifted.
Chandler: Oh yeah, I had no idea the amazing journey you go through as a woman! Tell me, tell me about your first period!
Monica: So I got it when I was 13...
Ross: Yeah, maybe. I do have my whole career in front of me. I mean, I can still win a Nobel prize. Although the last two papers I've written were widely discredited.
Phoebe: Good for you! And hey, I thought your paper on punctuated equilibrium in the Devonian era was top notch!
Rachel: I just wanted to let you know I've changed my mind: I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna kiss Joey.
Monica: That's different! I was drunk and stupid!
Rachel: I could, I could but I don't want to! I want to kiss Joey!
Monica: Alright (shrugs). I think it's a big mistake but it's your decision.
Monica: And I can't stop you.
Chandler: Oh well, this was a really important experience for me, and I wanted to share it with you.
JADE: Well there really wasn't much time to get used to it, you know what I mean?
Monica: Well, she corned me! She asked if the wedding was in town! I mean, what was I supposed to do?!
Amanda: Hello Monica. It’s Amanda calling again. I am in the neighborhood hoping I can pop by your flat!
Chandler: No, I saw a picture of you covered in blueberries.
Phoebe: (Takes mike) Thanks, hi. Um, I wanna start with a song that means a lot to me this time of year. (Shakes bell as an introduction) (Sung:)
Rachel: Well, Im gonna take a nap, turkey makes me sleepy.
Monica: Why? Because everything is my responsibility? Isn't it enough that I'm making Thanksgiving dinner for everyone? You know, everyone wants a different kind of potatoes, so I'm making different kinds of potatoes. Does anybody care what kind of potatoes I want? Nooooo, no, no! (starting to cry) Just as long as Phoebe gets her peas and onions, and Mario gets his tots, and it's my first Thanksgiving, and it's all burned, and, and I... I...
Phoebe: My God, I cant get a minute of peace around this place.
CHANDLER: I still can't believe they promoted her to lieutenant.
Joey: I know, there are gonna be some pasty folks by the pool tomorrow! (A woman goes towards them)
Joey: Oh, I do. (Gives her the Joey-love look.) How you doin?
Monica: Oh, well. Now that I'm here I might as well help you with the cleaning and organizing! Just happen to have my label maker!
Rachel: Oh my God. I cannot keep having this same fight over and over again, Ross, no, youre, youre, youre making this too hard.
Monica: Whoa-whoa-whoa, Phoebe you gotta take her! Y’know, I-I-I said some really bad stuff about her, but y’know Rachel has some good qualities that make her a good roommate. She gets tons of catalogs and umm, she’ll fold down the pages of the things she thinks that I’d like.
EDDIE: Uh yes, I think I vaguely recall it.
MNCA: Well, we just happen to go to alot of places where you might drink. I mean, how do you go to a wine tasting without having a drink? Or... or to a club, or to the... zoo.
Joey: Oh my God! (they all hug) Oh! Hey, can I have an aquarium? And a sex swing?
Rachel: Yeah, we could. Oh hey look! Theres some Kappa Kappa Deltas! I was a Kappa. (to them) Hey sisters! (They ignore her.) (To Monica) Wow, we really are bitches.
Rachel: Phoebe, just the idea of pitting one baby against another, I mean, you know, and judging who's cuter just for a trophy...
Chandler: That's a good idea. I wonder where I could (Pause) get a basket of porn
Monica: (embraces Emma tightly) Ooh, I want one...
Chandler: Yknow we already went over this and I won!
Phoebe: least you've been married, OH MY GOD! I wanna trade lives with Ross (cries more)
Monica: Hey Tim? I need a calamari and a Caesar salad. And umm, could you get me the pesto?
Monica: Oh thats so sweet! Look Chandler I dont care if you cant cry, I love you.
Rachel: So hot I cried myself to sleep last night. (Joey and Chandler clap their hands)
Phoebe: Well, I didn't get embarrassed running next to Miss (panting). But no, okay. No, no, I can see why running with me would be embarrassing to you. Yeah, okay. You're uptight.
Phoebe: Oh, hey, Monica, I brought back your iron.
Hillary: You know, I rarely connect with someone this much on the first date.
ERICA: I should just be happy to be near you.
Joey: Umm, now uh Its a scary world out there, especially for a single mom. Yknow, now I always thought you and I had a special bond so (He goes to one knee and pulls out a ring.) Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me?
David: That reminds me of you so much, I mean umm, it-its actually of Lenin. But, yknow at certain angles
Rachel: Wow. I, I dont even know what to say. Thank you. (Gently kicks him.)
Leslie: I ran into Vlad at the place where they sell the big fish, and he said you played here a lot, so umm....
Monica: Oh my god. Today's the sixth?! I may be done ovulating! I may have also served some very questionable meat at the restaurant.
Chandler: (running up) Hey Joey, do you wanna play football or you wanna.. (sees Marhan) Hi, Im Chandler.
Phoebe: Yeah, I know. Its a real mustard-tastrophe. Can you help me?
Mrs. Green: Sweetheart I know youre gonna be terrific mom, I just think you need a little help, especially at the beginning.
Rachel: (entering) Hey! Ross and I were looking for you! What are we all doing in here? (Looks at Chandler) Oh, my! (Covers the spot where Joey wants bubbles to be replaced.)
Phoebe: (running up) Okay. Okay, heres what were gonna do. Okay, Im gonna break into this mini-van and put it in neutral. You guys push it forward so Ross can drive out of his spot. Okay? All right, here we go. (She opens her coat and reveals that thing car thieves use to break into cars as Ross jumps in behind the wheel. She inserts the device, unlocks the door, opens it, and the alarm goes off.) Haul ass!!!! (Runs off.)
Joey: Yeah. I realized it about a half-hour ago but I didn't want to say anything 'cause I didn't want to jinx it.
Joey: (on the screen there's the word "Supermarket") Uhm... ok. It's a store, like a supermarket. (there is a sound indicating he made a mistake as he shouldn't have said 'supermarket'. The next word appears, "notebook") Oh! I see-I see what I did. Yeah, ok, ok, uhm... I'm writing in my...
Joey: No, thats VH-1. I gotta tell you, the music these kids listen to today . . . Its like a lotta noise to me. I dont know
Joey: Well all right then, I guess I shouldnt get to excited about the fact (excitedly) that I just kissed her!
Monica: (laughs nervously as well, Laura looks confused) (To Laura) Some people don't get him, but I think he's really funny! (She takes Laura to their own bedroom).
Ross: Aw, how can you say that? I cant even get Marcel to stop eating the bath mat. How am I gonna raise a kid?
Joey: Hey, what if I said, I could even things out for ya, meatwise.
Ross: I'm just, I'm just glad I didn't miss my daughter's first words (goes back to checking the tickets).
Ross: Then, Fred Astaire singing The Way You Look Tonight came on the sound system, and the lights came down. And I got down on one knee and written across the dome in the stars were the words "Will you marry me?"
Mackenzie: (at the other end of the line) I don't know... You know what? I'm gonna put you on with my bear. Hold on. (she puts the phone at the bears ear)
Joey: Welcome to New York City! Or should I say "ghe deu flooff New York City"?
Phoebe: Duh, I think I know how to heat breast milk. Ok. (Squirts some on her wrist and tastes it.)
Phoebe: Oh my God! Im going out with Eric! Ooh, this day is really gonna be so much better than I thought it was gonna be. Oh Ross, I cant make lunch. (Exits.)
Tag: Okay I understand. (Sits down.) I wouldnt want to be proved wrong either.
Carol: Yeah. Ooh, and I know Gail Rosten is in there twice, but she is so
Phoebe: I can hear traffic and birds! I can hear the voices in my head again! (Monica looks at her strangely) Im kidding. (She smiles wickedly.)
Joey: Yeah. I am sorry he's not here too, but I got to say, (takes some nachos from a plate on the seat where Chandler should have been) I am really enjoying Nacho Chair.
Ross: she came and dragged me out of the labor room to ask me why Im not with Rachel.
Ross: Rach, I promise first thing tomorrow we'll find another doctor, but I gotta get up early and I'm not feeling all that well.
Monica: Sweetie, you know I have no sense of humor when it comes to the wedding.
Air stewardess: (on the answering machine) Miss, I can't let you off the plane.
Joey: Yknow what I think? I think somebodys got a little crush on Casey. How bout I fix you two up? What do you think?
Rachel: Im funny? Oh thank God! Well hey, Ive got a ton of these! Umm, oh hearDo you want a good one? Heres a good one. Umm, you uh, you take a quarter, take a quarter and, and you blacken the edge. Right? (Does so.) And then you say to person, I bet you cant roll this quarter from your forehead to your chin without it leaving your face. And then when they do it, theyre left with a big black pencil line right down the center of their face.
Rachel: Im not moving! (She re-hangs a picture, crookedly.) Is that picture straight?
Monica: Well, Rachel wants to take swing dance lessons. Which I think is a really stupid idea! It's dangerous, she's never gonna get what she wants, and who knows who she might (Turns to look at Ross) end up hurting.
Ross: Okay, it was just me and her at the back of the train, and I sat near the door, so shed have to pass by me if she wanted to switch cars. She was totally at my mercy.
Janice: Ohhh, are you a puppy! (opens it) Contact paper! I never really know what to say when someone you're sleeping with gives you contact paper.
RACHEL: My parents happened. All they had to do was sit in the same stadium, smile proudly, and not talk about the divorce. But nooo, they got into a huge fight in the middle of the commencement address. Bishop Tutu actually had to stop and shush them. But you know what, you know what the good news is? I get to serve coffee for the next 8 hours.
Ross: (looks angrily at Joey and points at him) I swear to God...! (Joey is in shock)
Phoebe: Oh okay. All right, then I need to calm down a little.
Chandler: And yet, believable. So I decided not to fire her again until I can be assured that she will be no threat to herself, or others.
Joey: (reading) Three down, Days Of Our Lives star blank Tribbiani. Thats me!! Im blank!!
Ross: (looking in the window behind them) Yknow, yknow Im lookin and I dont think anyones home here. I say we just break the window, crawl through, and-and yknow explain later.
Rachel: (entering, angrily) Ugh, that was so embarrassing! I can't believe you let me go on and on like that!
Chloe: Do I know why were rushing?
Chandler: What if I had had the guts to quit my job? Id probably be writing for the New Yorker, getting paid to be funny. But my jobs fun too! I mean tomorrow, I-I dont have to wear a tie.
Monica: Okay. (When Phoebe turns around Monica runs out into the hall after Mrs. Green.) Mrs. Green! Okay Im really sorry!! Im apologizing for the(She trips and falls down the stairs.) (Pause) Okay, I bit my tongue, but Im still really sorry!
Mike: I don't know, I mean I'm not sure (they hear cracking voice from somewhere else in the kitchen, probably a rat caught in a trap) ...
Phoebe: Well, I wanna enter her in a baby beauty pageant.
Rachel: I just finished getting Phoebe all dressed to meet Mike's parents. She's so nervous, it's so sweet!
Richard: Well, apparently Im willing to offer her things that you are not.
Ross: well Phoebe, I think you'll feel better when you know a little bit about Vicrum, His a Kite designer (He makes a wow face) and he used to date Oprah. (He makes another wow face)
Chandler: You called everyone and said you were having trouble finding a Santa costume, so I borrowed one from a guy at work!
Rachel: Ooh, so cute, that Im thinking about jamming this pen in my eye.
Chandler: I got something for her. (Joey picks up the package, shakes it next to his ear, can't hear anything, switches ears, shakes it again.) It's a book!
Monica: Y'know, so I don't read as many important books as you do, and I don't write trick poems that seem to be about one thing but are actually about something else. And y'know what, I get excited about stupid stuff, like when I my People magazine comes on Saturday, and the new Hold Everything catalog. Y'know but that does not mean that I'm empty, I care about things. I care about my friends and family. You have no right to make that kind of judgment about me.
Ross: (forages around) Okay, I have nothing in an evening shoe in the burgundy. I can show you something in a silver that may work.
Monica: And thats why, Im not inviting you in for a drink. (starts to leave) Bye.
Monica: You know, Rachel, when you ran out of your wedding, I was there for you. I put a roof over your head, and if that means nothing to you... (Rachel isn't buying it, desperate) twenty dollars an hour.
Monica: Oh, this terrible! Everything is destroyed! Look at this. (She picks up some kind of furry thing.) It obviously meant enough for me to save it, and I dont even know what it is! Ohh, its still soft. (She rubs it against her cheek.) What do you think this is?
Phoebe: Or, yknow, I used to beg for money. Of course it helps if youve got yknow a little of this (she sticks her chest out and shakes it) goin on. Wow! I still have it!
Ross: Oh, Im sorry youve been Bamboozled! Youre gonna be a terrible mother! (Rachel stares at him agape.) Ive lost sight of why were doing this! (Rachel gets up and walks away.)
Chandler: Oh just great. He beeps me now with codes. One is, "Bring me food." Two is, "Im with a girl, bring us food." Three is, "Im lost and I cant find food."
Phoebe: Whoa-whoa-whoa! No drinks near the bucket! Set it down over there and then you can make a contribution! (The guy starts to walk away with a hurt look on his face.) And you can leave the hurt bunny look over there too! (Her boss and a co-worker walk up.) Hi Bob! (The same old lady from before walks bye.) (To the old lady.) I thought I told you to get outta here!
Phoebe Sr: Take it easy--if you want, theres cookies on the counter, or, or--sangria! (jumps up) I can make sangria!
Monica: Yeah! But, he can't not exactly see Emily, I mean that's his wife.
Ross: Alright, I'm gonna go find them... (twitches a bit, looks down) I just need a... need a before I can... you know. (gestures standing up... they sit and wait for a while) Grandma... grandma... grandma... (he tries to concentrate...) Okay, I see you later.
Phoebe: Which proves that I never lie.
Joey: Who loses fifty seven coin tosses in a row? Head she wins, tails I lose. (he stops and starts realizing something) Wait a minute...
Joey: Oh, I'd love too, but I got acting class. But y'know what? I guess I can blow that off, (In a sexy voice) for you.