words in movies
Joey: Am I psyched? The lead in my own TV series? Ive dreamed about this for years! Why have I not been preparing?!
Joey: But I got to act with a robot Pheebs, and-and I dont know anything about technology! I cant even use Chandlers computer except to find porn! And-and thats only cause its right there when you turn it on!
Monica: I think our lovers spat will start a little early this month.
Phoebe: (in a sexy voice to Chandler) Ill be waiting.
Phoebe: No, Im just deciding which one to useIm gonna start writing another book!
Phoebe: Well, if you must know I have written 14 books. And as I am the only one who has read them, I can tell you that they all have been very well received.
Phoebe: Oh, Rachel and I have appointments to get our hair cut.
Phoebe: I want to see what he wants first.
Ross: (continuing) I just found out that Elizabeths dad wants to meet me.
Joey: Okay. Hey uh, when do I get to meet the robot?
The Producer: Im sorry, why dont we do that right now? Hes right here. (Points to a guy.)
The Producer: Ill let you two guys get acquainted, huh? (Walks away.)
Joey: Well, I-I just, I just it was going to be like a really cool robot, yknow? Like the terminator or uh, when I first saw you.
Wayne: I spent two years developing this machine, its absolutely state of the art.
Joey: Im sorry, it justI dont know it doesnt really look like it can do anything.
Paul: I usually prefer Elizabeths boyfriends to address me as Mr. Stevens.
Paul: I dont like you going out with my daughter Ross.
Ross: Okay. I can, I can see that. Umm, but I think if you give me umm, one chance I can, I can change your mind.
Paul: Okay. Ill give you one chance to change my mind. (Ross laughs in relief) You got one minute. (Ross suddenly gets worried.)
Ross: Okay, umm I want you to know that I have never done anything like this before. I mean, I mean Ive been in um, relationships in general, uh but I have never done it with a studentI mean I notnot it! I mean, I mean I dontWe havent done it. Uh, I mean, I mean, weve-weve-weve done stuff. (Paul is not amused.) Okay, okay, a joke, a jokelighten the mood. Umm, two guys go into a bar. One of them is Irish.
Paul: Im Irish.
Ross: Oh God, thank you! (Runs and gives all of them a group hug.) Umm, uh, Mr. Stevens Id like you to meet my friends uh, this is Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler.
Phoebe: Youre Elizabeths father, huh? I can see now where she gets her rugged handsomeness.
Paul: No, unfortunately Lizzies mom passed away shortly after she was born. I raised her by myself.
Paul: I get that a lot.
Ross: Okay umm, why dont we all take a seat, yknow? And uh, and Ill get us all some uh some coffees(He goes to pull out Elizabeths chair, but Paul steps in)Yeah, why dont you. (Paul pulls out her chair) Uh and you guys can talk about whatever, whatever you want. Yknow? Whatever pops into your head. (He turns his back to Paul and Elizabeth and points to himself for Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe. Then he goes to order the coffee.)
Paul: I had a sister.
Chandler: But uh Ross, Ross is a great guy! I was roommates with him in college. Uh, funny story (He starts laughing then notices that Paul isnt happy.) Youre roommate in college died didnt he?
Ross: (returning with the coffee) Okay here we are Paul, Elizabeth. (He sets down their cups.) So I hope you guys were finding something to talk about.
Rachel: Hi, Im sorry Im late but I am ready, ready to talk you up! When does Lizs father get here?
Paul: Im already here.
Phoebe: (writing frantically) You guys, Im sorry, could you please talk a little slower?
Paul: Hi! Hi. (Hes looking around.) I think I left my keys here somewhere.
Rachel: Paul. Umm, I just wanted you to know that Ross really is a great guy.
Rachel: Oh no! Yes! Of course, I know that! I justI meant yknow are you still a We or are you just You?
Paul: Im just me, my wife died shortly after Lizzie was born.
Paul: Yes I did.
Joey: Pretty great! Except I did get a little attitude from the robot.
Joey: Anyway, it wasnt the robot, it was the guy who controls him. Yeah, he doesnt like me. He had C.H.E.E.S.E. knock over the sandwich right when I was reaching for one! Ohh!
Joey: I may have to, I hate to do it, but Im the star! Yknow? Theres a limit to how many sandwiches I can eat off the floor. (His cell phone rings) Excuse me. (Answers it, on phone) Joey Tribbiani.
Estelle: (on the other end) Joe! Im glad I found ya, I got an audition for ya!
Joey: Im the lead in Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.!!
Rachel: I was just getting him to like you.
Ross: Okay, Ill just wait for him in here!
Ross: (coming out of the bedroom) Oh! Oh my God! I didnt even see you!
Paul: Ill call you later. Bye Ross. (Leaves)
Rachel: No! Downstairs! And we got to talking yknow, for like two hours, and I really liked him so I invited him up here for a cup of coffee.
Rachel: Ross, whats the big deal? So I kissed the guy!
Rachel: Ross look, look this is good for you. Okay? Lets face it, so far the guys not lovin ya! But I can turn that around! I got the inside track! We can all go out to dinner, yknow? And I can talk you up! Ross, the guy is a very, very successful lawyer!
Joey: Apparently, theres like a million guys out there that can play Mac, and theres only this one robot and this one guy who controls it! I didnt know he could get me fired! What am I going to do?
Joey: Thanks, but I kinda have a problem to deal with here.
Joey: Thats not a bad idea. Yeah. Okay, but if I got to turn on the charm tomorrow Im not wasting anymore of it over here with you guys. (Starts to leave, but stops and turns to Phoebe.) Well, actually I got a little bit saved for you Pheebs. (Exits.)
Monica: Yeah! Thats why Im sleeping with him on the side.
Phoebe: Im not writing about you! Im writing about other people.
Monica: Okay fine! Fine! Then you know what, Ill just write about Phyllis! Hmm!
Phoebe: I see what youre doing!
Monica: (still writing) Phyllis sees what Im doing.
Phoebe: Ooh, I have tasted my own medicine and it is bitter!
Joey: Okay! (He yanks his hand away.) All right. Umm, all right Wayne, level with me. Okay? I-I keep hearing all these rumors that I might get fired. Okay, they even have actors coming in to read for my part! Come on man, you-you got to give me a second chance! I mean, I love-I love this little guy! (He grabs C.H.E.E.S.E.s arm and pulls it off at the elbow.) Ah-ah!! (Wayne is shocked.) Okay, thats why you didnt want me to touch him right? Here you go! Okay? (Hands Wayne the arm and he goes to fix it. Meanwhile Joey starts to berate himself.) Stupid! I cant believe it! God! (A very beautiful woman walks by.) (To her) Hey, how you doin? (He and her go over to talk and Wayne looks on with envy.)
Rachel: Wow! I definitely did not see that one backfiring! Im gonna go to the bathroom.
Ross: (to Paul) Just-just so you know I was a freshman and she was a senior. So it wasnt as bad as-as
Paul: Ross, look, I know Ive been giving you a lot of jabs and its partly because Im very protective of Lizzie, and partly because well, they just keep coming to me. But I have to admit that after all the wonderful things that Lizzie has told me and the many, many, (pause) many stories that Rachel has told me that, well (pause) youre not (pause) all bad.
Paul: And anyhow, Im sorry I was so harsh before, but you have to understand that I (pause) still look at Lizzie like shes a twelve-year-old girl.
Ross: Yeah. You know what? I know what you mean; I do that too.
Paul: I beg your pardon?
Ross: No! No! NotI dont mean I-I see her as a twelve-year-old girl! I mean I-I have a son, whos umm six and I still think of him as a baby.
Ross: Yeah, well my-my ex-wife and I share custody of Ben and umm, uh, and just so you know, Carol and I are on excellent terms as Im sure you are with your wife! (Realizes) Oh, Im sorry! (To Elizabeth) Its unbelievable!
Paul: Dont worry about it, I just didnt realize you were married. (Rachel returns and hears that.)
Rachel: Oh we were, but that was just a (pause as the audience reacts), I mean that was just a big drunken mistake.
Rachel: Oh! Whoops! Im sorry, you were talking about Emily!
Chandler: The only way that I said six would be if the sevens, let meet at seven, not at six.
Monica: Yeah and if I had seven, maybe I wouldve said something like this, "Wow! My boyfriends such a wise assseven!"
Phoebe: I know what time you said.
Phoebe: Well actually, I know what time Chester and Marcia said.
Phoebe: I will tell you as soon as you thank me for writing my book.
Chandler: (To Monica) I told you I should not wear this color. (Hes wearing a reddish-orange sweater.)
Joey: I cant believe Im going to lose this job!
Chandler: Oh Im so sorry man! Is there anything I can do?
Wayne: Hey Joey, I want to talk to you.
Joey: Yeah? Well, I dont want to talk to you Wayne! I hate you! You ruined my life! Oh, Chandler, Wayne. Wayne, Chandler. (They shake hands.)
Joey: (incredulous) Why should I help you?!
Wayne: I wish I could talk to her.
Chandler: Yeah, Ive been there my friend.
Joey: Oh wow Wayne, its not really something you can teach yknow? Its pretty much something youre born with if you(Off Chandlers look)You-you can teach it! Ill show you right how to do it.
Rachel: I mean if you think about it, I mean Ross did learn something from each marriage.
Rachel: Now wait a minute thats not fair. He was married to me a hell of a lot longer than he was married to Emily, he just didnt tell me. (Everyone looks at her, Ross not happily.) Maybe I have to pee again. (Gets up to try to use the bathroom.)
Ross: Yknow what? I-I-I I-I have had enough of this! Yknow, I-I-I care a great deal about your daughter and I have treated her with nothing but respect! So if-if youve got a problem with me, frankly
Elizabeth: Yknow what daddy? If you dont like Ross, thats fine. It doesnt matter to me, Im gonna go out with him anyway.
Paul: Wow. What can I say? (Pause, pointing at Ross) This doesnt make me like you any better!
Ross: Thats okay, Im not so crazy about myself right now either.
Ross: Uh yeah, I guessYeah! I guess so.
Elizabeth: I like Ross.
Rachel: (returning) Wait-wait-wait, I just thought of another story about how nice Ross is!
Rachel: Oh! Ive got a lot of those too!
ROSS: I don't know. What's in this pie?
ROSS: Kiwi? Kiwi? I thought it was a key lime pie.
Chandler: Oh yes, and thats what I want a roommate that I can walk around with and be referred to as the funny one.
Chandler: Oh, and Ive got Earth Science, but I'll catch you in Gym.
Girl: I just remembered, I have to do something.
RACHEL: Oh, no no no no. Oh no no no no. I have to do this to her?
CHANDLER: No, I got him.
Man: Really? Ive been dealing with Dr. Wells.
Dr. Franzblau: I'm sorry, I can't tell the baby to wait for them.
JOEY: (to Chandler) What'd I tell you? What'd I tell you?
RACHEL: What? Come on, it's not like I'm asking for this girly clock or anything, which, by the way, I also think is very cool.
Phoebe: Well, yeah! Fun is good, but y'know I also wanted to learn. Y'know, people are always talking about what they learned in high school and I never went to high school.
CAROLINE: I think it's great you guys are doing this.
TERRY: I, I don't know.
Joey: Oh, c'mon, I mean, there's you, then there's Charlie, and it's like... (sighs) What the hell is my problem? OH! (He falls back on the bed)
Shelley: Question. You're not dating anybody, are you, because I met somebody who would be perfect for you.
Ross: I thought, uh... it was a fifty cent limit.
Ross: Look, if I can just do what Emily wants and get her to New York, I'm sure everything will be fine.
Judy: Yes, you’ll be all grown up by then. We’ll be... Well your grandfather and I might not be here.
Mike's dad: (leans in towards Mike) I crushed a pill and put it in her drink... (to his wife) Come on, sweetheart.
Ronni: Oh, where'm I gonna stay, here?
Director: You know what. I think this audition is over. (Joey looks disappointed, but understands.)
Monica: (slams down cards) I hate this game!
MONICA: That's Great. You know we don't need to talk about this now. Really, I mean this is, is so way, way, way, in the future, I'm talkin' hovercrafts and apes taking over the planet.
Rachel: Okay sir, um-mm, let see if I got this right. Ah, so this is a half-caf, double tall, easy hazel nut, non-fat, no foam, with whip, extra hot latte, right? (the guy nods) Okay, great. (she starts to walk away and under her breath) You freak.
Chandler: Nothin! This is the nine millionth ring store weve been too and I cant find the perfect ring! (Goes over to another display counter and starts pointing at rings.) Ugly ring! Ugly ring! Ugly ring! (Notices that one of the jewelers is watching him.) Its a beautiful selection. (The jeweler walks away slowly.)
MONICA: No. But I remember people telling me about it.
ROSS: I hope Ben has a little sister.
RACHEL: Well, from me. And I know it's not your big money song, but it's my favorite.
ROSS: No, no, I don't wanna put it off, I just, God I just, I spent last year being so unbelievably miserable, ya know, and now, now I'm actually happy. You know, I mean, really happy. I just, I just don't wanna, I don't wanna mess it up, ya know.
Chandler: Look, Ross, you gotta understand, between us we haven't had a relationship that has lasted longer than a Mento. You, however have had the love of a woman for four years. Four years of closeness and sharing at the end of which she ripped your heart out, and that is why we don't do it! I don't think that was my point!
Phoebe: (goes and gets some cookies) Well, so, umm, anyway umm, Ive been, Ive been looking for my Father, and umm, have you heard from him, or seen him?
Chandler: I can't believe they are not here! I slave and I slave for what? They've ruined cranberry day!
Mike: No. well look can I think your weird and also cool for telling me the truth and also wanna kiss you.
Joey: You don't seem to understand. See, I was Dr. Drake Remoray.
Ross: She's having lunch with him. She's having lunch with him. And you should of seen the hug she gave him when she got the job. And, and, and, (to Joey) he's really good looking. (Joey gives an enthusiastic thumbs up) What am I gonna do?
Joey: (Yelling at Chandler) And that's how I know you didn't watch the tape! (goes back to his room and slams the door).
CHANDLER: I think they get it.
ROSS: Ooh, I, I'm so sick of missing stuff. Ya know, I want him for more than, than a day, I want him for a whole weekend. No listen , I mean, I feel like-
Chandler: I know, me too. Hey! Y'know what if we went away for a whole weekend? Y'know we'd have no interruptions and we could be naked the entire time.
Joey: (to Monica) Can I use your phone? (On phone) Yeah, the number for a Sidney Marks, please.
Monica: I kind of have to don't I? Because of this stupid thing (Points to her wedding ring.)
Ross: Okay look, do-do, you have anything Christmassy? I promised my son, and I really don't want to disappoint him, um, come on, I uh, you gotta have something.
Rachel: (as Monica) And by the way, have I mentioned that back in high school, I was a cow?
Monica: Maybe. I just hope she realizes how hard its gonna be.
Ross: I was working late in the library one afternoon. It was just the two of us. She needed some help with her word jumble. And one thing led to another. If you must know, Anita was very gentle and tender. May she rest in peace
PHOE: Really? That's so sweet. I mean, I'm officially offended but, sweet.
PHOE: So, I figured it out.
Chandler: If can invade Poland, there isn't anything I can't do.
Ross: Joey, Im not worried about her! Im worried about my baby! Whoever she dates my baby dates! Now-now where is this (makes the quote-marks sign) actor taking them?
Monica: Well, I was thinking, that you gave the guys such great haircuts, I thought, maybe you'd like to do mine?
Jamie: I think we have an answer.
JOEY: Maybe he, uhh... drives his car on the other side of the road, if ya know what I mean.
Flight Attendant: May I see your boarding pass?
Chandler: Sleeping with somebody new, anxiety, panic, and Im afraid even more sweating.
ROSS: When, when were you... under me? Rach. Rachel do you, I mean, were you, uh. . . What?
Joey: Oh! I got it! Ok, everyone pick a number from one to ten. Alright? Whoever gets the highest number gets to go first.
(She sets down her bag and we travel back to slow motion world. She once again whips her hair around in slow motion with the love doctor Barry White singing in the background. And Id also like to take this opportunity to mention that she can also be seen in Starship Troopers and that she was born in Downers Grove, Illinois which just happens to be a few miles from where I live. Anyway Cousin Ross is now staring.)
Ross: I dont think so. Hello? (Knocks on the glass, which angers the big, large, angry dog behind the glass and causes them to jump to the other side of the landing.) When you get in there (Joey nods his disapproval.)
JOEY: I can't find the remote. [Phoebe turns off the TV] Thank you.
MRS. GELLER: Over here Jack. OK. I see, Rachel's coming up the path. Oh doesn't she look pretty. Jack, get this. [Rachel enters with a huge nose]
MONICA: Fortunately, it is me. And, they made me head of purchasing, thank you very much. Anyway, I just ran into Ross and Chandler downstairs, and they think we should go out and celebrate. You know, someplace nice.
RACH: Alright, I got it Ross.
Mrs. Green: Its like youre a cave person. Rachel, you must get a nanny. You dont know how overwhelming this is going to be. I mean when you were a baby I had full time help, I had Mrs. Kay.
Chandler: ...Couldn't enjoy a cup of noodles after that. I mean, is that ridiculous? Can you believe she actually thought that?
RACH: 'Cause I don't need your stupid ship.
RICHARD: That's fine. Well, your other dad and I are gonna go have a romantic evening and I guess I'll just see you kids around.
[Scene: In front of Macys, Phoebe has adorned her bucket with numerous signs. Like "We are not a urinal!" and "I have no Macys info." And other stuff like that. She also has a scowl on her face as she is ringing her bell. A little old lady walks up to make a donation but Phoebe stops her.]
Ross: Hey, youre not going to believe this. I made up a joke and sent it in to Playboy. They printed it!
Ross: And confused. Rach, sweetie, I-I um I didnt propose to you.
Rachel: (interrupting him) Hi! Im gal pal Rachel Green, and if you want the dirt, Im the one you come too. This might be Joeys baby (rubbing her stomach), who knows? Im just kiddingSeriously, (leans into the cassette recorder Shelley is using) gal pal Rachel Green.
Monica: Oh, what a great argument, exhaling! All right, y'know what, Ill prove it to you, okay. Ill trade you Joey for Rachel, and Ill still win the game.
ROSS: And, uh, and then I kissed her.
Rachel: Yeah. Im gonna have a baby. Im gonna have a baby. Im gonna have a baby! (They all hug.)
MNCA: Wait a minute. I thought last night was great.
Rachel: Oh my God, wait did II just said Greens dont quit didnt I? (Pause) (Angrily) Did I just say Greens dont quit?!
Gunther: (entering with the cat) I just came for the red-velvet pillow.
Mindy: Now, I know things've been weird lately, but you're like my oldest friend in the world... Except for maybe Laurie Schaffer, who I don't talk to anywhere, 'cause she's all bitter now that she lost the weight and it turns out she doesn't have a pretty face. ....Okay, I'm just gonna ask you this once, and I want a straight answer.
Monica: Okay. (Opens the fridge.) All right, turkey. Eh, that wont work. Cheese? (Picks it up) That wont work. Olive loaf? (Picks it up) I hope that wont work.
Monica: Did it ever occur to you that I might just be that stupid?
Monica: I know, but now we have this second one and it just, it feels like its snowballing, yknow?
Rachel: Thats not her name! Im sorry, she just doesnt feel like an Isabella.
Charlie: Ooh... Is it because of what might be on the bedspread, because I saw that news report too, with the infra red and the ... I could just...
ROSS: Hootie and the--oh my. I, I can catch them on the radio.
Joey: I dont know! (All excited) I havent totally decided how to talk on my boat yet.
JOEY: Ross, listen. I got two words for you. Threesome.
ROSS: I don't know.
RACH: Well. [looks at watch] Woah, look at that! I gotta go, I gotta date. With a man. Um, OK, you guys have a really, uh, have a really good night and you two have a, uh, have a, uh, really good cat. [she leaves carrying her tray then comes back in] OK, we're not supposed to take these when we leave.
ROSS: I don't know. I mean, all right, I guess you can say she's a little spoiled sometimes.
MONICA: You know what, I think it's cute, you trying to be more like Richard.
Ross: Okay, I think we're getting into a weird area here...
Ross: How can I not get this? I'm a college professor; I got 1450 on my S.A.T.s.
RACH: Oh my god, I can't believe you let me put this in my mouth.
Phoebe: Okay Joey? Chandler's here, he was wondering (We hear the dial tone as Joey hangs up.) Okay, I guess he ran out of change.
Joey: Yeah, so, uh, so, uh, what's the deal with this father guy, I mean, if someone was havin' my baby somewhere, I'd wanna know about it, you know?
Monica: (Poking her head in) Rach? Can I talk to for just a minute? I-I dropped some socks.
Rachel: I don't know, you know, just the way she waltzed in here all smart, and tall! You know, and just swept Joey off his feet... I mean, nobody else has a chance!
CHANDLER: Janice was my safety net, ok? And now I have to get a snake.
RACH: Well, what's the other thing, what do I think?
RACH: What's that? What? I saw my name. What is it?