words in movies
Joey: Oh, its a poster for that World War I movie that Im in, check it out.
Joey: Uh-huh! I know. Im coming soon to a theater near you! Im in THX! Im unsuitable for children!
Ross: Now I cannot wait to see this.
Phoebe: I started that!
Joey: I thought I did! Oh hey guess what? The premiere is next week and youre all invited! (They all gasp.)
Monica: Oh I love taking limos when nobody died!
Rachel: Well obviously I wont be able to come, for those of you who havent checked their calendars today is my due date. Well yknow, I just want to take a moment and thank you guys for how great youve been during this time. I really couldnt have done it without you. And I have loved these last nine months! And even though I am so looking forward to the next part, I am really gonna miss being pregnant.
Ross: Look, I-I know how miserable you are, I wish there was something I can do. I mean I wish I were a seahorse. (She glares at him) Because with seahorses its the male, they carry the babies. And then also umm, Id be far away in the sea. (He sits back down.)
Rachel: God. (Sits down.) I have never been so uncomfortable in my entire life!
Phoebe: Oh I know, Ive been there. I remember toward the end
Rachel: Do you want me to come over there and sit on you? Cause Ill do it.
Rachel: They sent me home from work. They were like, "Start your maternity leave now! Just rest, get ready for the baby." Well yknow what? Screw em! If they dont want me there, Ill just hang out with you guys.
Estelle: Joey! Its Estelle! Great news, I was able to get you and one guest tickets to your premiere.
Joey: One guest? You told me I can have six tickets!
Estelle: Well, I sold four of them on Ebay. Youll be sitting next to HotGuy372.
Joey: Oh my God. So thats it?! I only get to bring one guest?
Joey: (to Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe) Did you hear that? I only get one extra ticket to my premiere. So some how I have to pick between you three and Ross.
Rachel: I dont. But I would still like to be acknowledged. What? Just because Im pregnant you think Im invisible.
Monica: Well, well Ross didnt care enough to be here, so I think hes out. You snooze you lose.
Monica: Well then somebodys snoozing. Joey, not that this uh should affect you at all, but if you were to pick me, I was planning on wearing a sequined dress, cut down to here. (Points to her stomach just above her belly button.)
Chandler: I havent seen this dress.
Joey: Well uh I think I want to take Chandler.
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! I mean Im sorry, I wish I can take everybody, but yknow Chandler always supported my career. Hes paid for acting classes and head shots and stuff and well this will be my way of paying you back.
Monica: Wait a minute, just because he paid for your head shots youre gonna take him? Joey, I dont think youre comprehending just how slutty this dress is!
Joey: Its not just the stuff he paid for, I mean its-its everything. Yknow? He read lines with me. He-he went with me on auditions when I was really nervous, and then he consoled me after I didnt get parts that I really wanted. You always believed in me man. Even, even when I didnt believe in myself.
Chandler: I always knew you were gonna make it. Im so proud of you.
Joey: (in a manly voice) Im gonna go shave. (Gets up.)
Chandler: (in a manly voice) Yeah well, Im gonna go spit. (He goes into the bedroom. On his way out, Joey gives Rachel a wide berth.)
Rachel: Oh, I have to pee. If I dont come out in five minutes its because Ive choked to death on the potpourri stink. (Goes into the bathroom.)
Phoebe: When she comes out, you hold her nose, Ill blow in her mouth, and the kid will just (makes a popping sound) right out of her.
Phoebe: I dont know. I-I think its still gonna be a while.
Monica: Hmm, care to make it interesting? Ill bet you that shell have it by this time tomorrow.
Phoebe: Fine! Ill call Zurich and move some money around.
Chandler: This is so exciting! Its so glamorous! People taking our picture. How do I look?
Joey: Do you mind crouching down a little bit, so that I look taller? (Chandler does so) There you go. (And they walk down the red carpet.)
Phoebe: Oh hey Mon? Rach is here! Ohh, youre still pregnant. Oh, Im sorry. I know how uncomfortable you are. Yknow what? You look great. Yeah, like fifty bucks.
Rachel: Oh, I have to go pee. Apparently this baby thinks that my bladder is a squeeze toy. (Goes to the bathroom.)
Phoebe: Its interesting that you lost. Now, I forget, do you like to lose?
Ross: People ask me why were not together, I just dont know what to tell them.
Rachel: No, Im fine.
Rachel: Ross, it is 100 degrees outside. For the first time in weeks, I am somewhat comfortable.
Monica: Im actually with her on this one.
Joey: (onscreen) "I thought I knew who the enemy was, but it was you all along."
Rachel: Can I ask you something?
Ross: Oh nothing. Nothing! Just uh, youve been a little short with me lately. Im not trying to irritate you.
Dr. Long: Actually, theyre things you can do. Just some home remedies, but in my experience Ive found that some of them are quite effective.
Chandler: I love the specifics, the specifics were the best part!
Chandler: I was surprised to see a kangaroo in a World War I epic.
Joey: You fell asleep!! There was no kangaroo! They didnt take any of my suggestions! Thats for coming buddy. Ill see you later. (Starts to walk out.)
Chandler: Dont go! Im sorry. Im so sorry! (Sees another guy who is still asleep.) Look! This guy fell asleep! He fell asleep too! Be mad at him! (Looks at him more closely.) Or, call an ambulance.
Monica: Well what is it? What is it? If its gonna help bring the baby here, like today. I mean, I think you should do it.
Monica: Im just saying its been a really long time for you. I mean, women have needs. Do it, get yours!
Phoebe: Oh I-I dont know about that. No, I think that if the two of you had sex the-the-the repercussions would be catastrophic.
Monica: Nothing. I just want the baby to be born today.
Monica: Okay fine! I keep betting Phoebe that youre gonna have the baby and I dont want to lose again!
Rachel: Ill take that bet.
Rachel: Well, Im miserable here! I might as well make some money out it!
Ross: Can I get some of that action?
Monica: Wait a minute! Now Im betting against all three of you?
Rachel: Oh honey, dont worry. I really do feel like tomorrows the day.
Chandler: Where have you been?! I tried to call you! I want to talk to you! I still feel so bad!
Chandler: Im so sorry.
Joey: Uh-huh look, the only reason I can over here was to settle things between us! Okay? Youve done a lot for me and my career, I wanted to pay you back so I took you to the premiere but you missed it! Okay, so how much do I owe you?
Joey: Give me a number, I dont want to owe you anything!
Chandler: You dont owe me anything, I dont want you money
Chandler: I dont know, five hundred dollars?
Joey: Okay. Okay, so Im writing you a check for So you fell asleep during my movie. Big deal right? How do you clear this thing?
Rachel: Ross IWe tried all the spicy food. Its not working.
Rachel: I am feeling nothing. Speaking of hot, watching you do that really makes me want to have sex with you.
Ross: Im sorry, but we have to have some boundaries! My God, Im dying.
Ross: This is insane, Im not gonna make love to you just so that youll go into labor.
Ross: I love when you talk dirty to me.
Rachel: Oh, I know it. Youre right. Thats not sexy. Oh Oh! (Drops a fork on the floor.) Whoops! Oh, I seem to have dropped my fork. Let me just bed over and get it. (Tries too, but cant quite seem to make it.) Oh God!
Rachel: Come on Ross! Im miserable here! Come on! You started this, now you finish it! Come on wuss, make love to me.
Rachel: Oh wow! What now Ross youre not gonna talk? How on earth will you ever annoy me? Oh wait a minute, I know. (Mimics his breathing.) I mean youd think the damn jalepeno wouldve cleared up your sinuses, but no!! Thats not enough (Ross jumps over and kisses her.) What are you doing?!
Ross: Im getting that baby out of you!
Ross: Oh, I know.
Rachel: Oh no. No-no! I think my water just broke.
Ross: I am good. Okay! Okay! Uh, I got the pillow! I got the bag! You got the keys?
Rachel: Okay! I got the keys! Okay! Okay!
Rachel: I didnt uh, really have time to read this part of the books, but do you think we have time to
Monica: Thats it. Im done. I dont care when the baby comes, no more betting.
Monica: Hello? (Listens) Uh-huh. (Listens) Uh-huh. (Listens) Okay. (Hangs up.) I guess we can bet one more time.
Monica: You know everything!! Oh wait, double or nothing. I bet you the baby is over seven pounds. (Phoebe isnt interested.) I bet you it has hair. (Shes still not interested.) I bet you its a girl.
Monica: (following her) Ill give you really good odds.
Director: You know what. I think this audition is over. (Joey looks disappointed, but understands.)
Monica: (slams down cards) I hate this game!
MONICA: That's Great. You know we don't need to talk about this now. Really, I mean this is, is so way, way, way, in the future, I'm talkin' hovercrafts and apes taking over the planet.
Rachel: Okay sir, um-mm, let see if I got this right. Ah, so this is a half-caf, double tall, easy hazel nut, non-fat, no foam, with whip, extra hot latte, right? (the guy nods) Okay, great. (she starts to walk away and under her breath) You freak.
Chandler: Nothin! This is the nine millionth ring store weve been too and I cant find the perfect ring! (Goes over to another display counter and starts pointing at rings.) Ugly ring! Ugly ring! Ugly ring! (Notices that one of the jewelers is watching him.) Its a beautiful selection. (The jeweler walks away slowly.)
MONICA: No. But I remember people telling me about it.
ROSS: I hope Ben has a little sister.
RACHEL: Well, from me. And I know it's not your big money song, but it's my favorite.
ROSS: No, no, I don't wanna put it off, I just, God I just, I spent last year being so unbelievably miserable, ya know, and now, now I'm actually happy. You know, I mean, really happy. I just, I just don't wanna, I don't wanna mess it up, ya know.
Chandler: Look, Ross, you gotta understand, between us we haven't had a relationship that has lasted longer than a Mento. You, however have had the love of a woman for four years. Four years of closeness and sharing at the end of which she ripped your heart out, and that is why we don't do it! I don't think that was my point!
Phoebe: (goes and gets some cookies) Well, so, umm, anyway umm, Ive been, Ive been looking for my Father, and umm, have you heard from him, or seen him?
Chandler: I can't believe they are not here! I slave and I slave for what? They've ruined cranberry day!
Mike: No. well look can I think your weird and also cool for telling me the truth and also wanna kiss you.
Joey: You don't seem to understand. See, I was Dr. Drake Remoray.
Ross: She's having lunch with him. She's having lunch with him. And you should of seen the hug she gave him when she got the job. And, and, and, (to Joey) he's really good looking. (Joey gives an enthusiastic thumbs up) What am I gonna do?
Joey: (Yelling at Chandler) And that's how I know you didn't watch the tape! (goes back to his room and slams the door).
CHANDLER: I think they get it.
ROSS: Ooh, I, I'm so sick of missing stuff. Ya know, I want him for more than, than a day, I want him for a whole weekend. No listen , I mean, I feel like-
Chandler: I know, me too. Hey! Y'know what if we went away for a whole weekend? Y'know we'd have no interruptions and we could be naked the entire time.
Joey: (to Monica) Can I use your phone? (On phone) Yeah, the number for a Sidney Marks, please.
Monica: I kind of have to don't I? Because of this stupid thing (Points to her wedding ring.)
Ross: Okay look, do-do, you have anything Christmassy? I promised my son, and I really don't want to disappoint him, um, come on, I uh, you gotta have something.
Rachel: (as Monica) And by the way, have I mentioned that back in high school, I was a cow?
Monica: Maybe. I just hope she realizes how hard its gonna be.
Ross: I was working late in the library one afternoon. It was just the two of us. She needed some help with her word jumble. And one thing led to another. If you must know, Anita was very gentle and tender. May she rest in peace
PHOE: Really? That's so sweet. I mean, I'm officially offended but, sweet.
PHOE: So, I figured it out.
Chandler: If can invade Poland, there isn't anything I can't do.
Ross: Joey, Im not worried about her! Im worried about my baby! Whoever she dates my baby dates! Now-now where is this (makes the quote-marks sign) actor taking them?
Monica: Well, I was thinking, that you gave the guys such great haircuts, I thought, maybe you'd like to do mine?
Jamie: I think we have an answer.
Rachel: Hi, Im sorry Im late but I am ready, ready to talk you up! When does Lizs father get here?
JOEY: Maybe he, uhh... drives his car on the other side of the road, if ya know what I mean.
Flight Attendant: May I see your boarding pass?
Chandler: Sleeping with somebody new, anxiety, panic, and Im afraid even more sweating.
ROSS: When, when were you... under me? Rach. Rachel do you, I mean, were you, uh. . . What?
Joey: Oh! I got it! Ok, everyone pick a number from one to ten. Alright? Whoever gets the highest number gets to go first.
(She sets down her bag and we travel back to slow motion world. She once again whips her hair around in slow motion with the love doctor Barry White singing in the background. And Id also like to take this opportunity to mention that she can also be seen in Starship Troopers and that she was born in Downers Grove, Illinois which just happens to be a few miles from where I live. Anyway Cousin Ross is now staring.)
Ross: I dont think so. Hello? (Knocks on the glass, which angers the big, large, angry dog behind the glass and causes them to jump to the other side of the landing.) When you get in there (Joey nods his disapproval.)
JOEY: I can't find the remote. [Phoebe turns off the TV] Thank you.
MRS. GELLER: Over here Jack. OK. I see, Rachel's coming up the path. Oh doesn't she look pretty. Jack, get this. [Rachel enters with a huge nose]
MONICA: Fortunately, it is me. And, they made me head of purchasing, thank you very much. Anyway, I just ran into Ross and Chandler downstairs, and they think we should go out and celebrate. You know, someplace nice.
RACH: Alright, I got it Ross.
Mrs. Green: Its like youre a cave person. Rachel, you must get a nanny. You dont know how overwhelming this is going to be. I mean when you were a baby I had full time help, I had Mrs. Kay.
Chandler: ...Couldn't enjoy a cup of noodles after that. I mean, is that ridiculous? Can you believe she actually thought that?
RACH: 'Cause I don't need your stupid ship.
RICHARD: That's fine. Well, your other dad and I are gonna go have a romantic evening and I guess I'll just see you kids around.
[Scene: In front of Macys, Phoebe has adorned her bucket with numerous signs. Like "We are not a urinal!" and "I have no Macys info." And other stuff like that. She also has a scowl on her face as she is ringing her bell. A little old lady walks up to make a donation but Phoebe stops her.]
Ross: Hey, youre not going to believe this. I made up a joke and sent it in to Playboy. They printed it!
Ross: And confused. Rach, sweetie, I-I um I didnt propose to you.
Rachel: (interrupting him) Hi! Im gal pal Rachel Green, and if you want the dirt, Im the one you come too. This might be Joeys baby (rubbing her stomach), who knows? Im just kiddingSeriously, (leans into the cassette recorder Shelley is using) gal pal Rachel Green.
Monica: Oh, what a great argument, exhaling! All right, y'know what, Ill prove it to you, okay. Ill trade you Joey for Rachel, and Ill still win the game.
ROSS: And, uh, and then I kissed her.
Rachel: Yeah. Im gonna have a baby. Im gonna have a baby. Im gonna have a baby! (They all hug.)
MNCA: Wait a minute. I thought last night was great.
Rachel: Oh my God, wait did II just said Greens dont quit didnt I? (Pause) (Angrily) Did I just say Greens dont quit?!
Gunther: (entering with the cat) I just came for the red-velvet pillow.
Mindy: Now, I know things've been weird lately, but you're like my oldest friend in the world... Except for maybe Laurie Schaffer, who I don't talk to anywhere, 'cause she's all bitter now that she lost the weight and it turns out she doesn't have a pretty face. ....Okay, I'm just gonna ask you this once, and I want a straight answer.
Monica: Okay. (Opens the fridge.) All right, turkey. Eh, that wont work. Cheese? (Picks it up) That wont work. Olive loaf? (Picks it up) I hope that wont work.
Monica: Did it ever occur to you that I might just be that stupid?
Monica: I know, but now we have this second one and it just, it feels like its snowballing, yknow?
Rachel: Thats not her name! Im sorry, she just doesnt feel like an Isabella.
Charlie: Ooh... Is it because of what might be on the bedspread, because I saw that news report too, with the infra red and the ... I could just...
ROSS: Hootie and the--oh my. I, I can catch them on the radio.
Joey: I dont know! (All excited) I havent totally decided how to talk on my boat yet.
JOEY: Ross, listen. I got two words for you. Threesome.
ROSS: I don't know.
RACH: Well. [looks at watch] Woah, look at that! I gotta go, I gotta date. With a man. Um, OK, you guys have a really, uh, have a really good night and you two have a, uh, have a, uh, really good cat. [she leaves carrying her tray then comes back in] OK, we're not supposed to take these when we leave.
ROSS: I don't know. I mean, all right, I guess you can say she's a little spoiled sometimes.
MONICA: You know what, I think it's cute, you trying to be more like Richard.
Ross: Okay, I think we're getting into a weird area here...
Ross: How can I not get this? I'm a college professor; I got 1450 on my S.A.T.s.
RACH: Oh my god, I can't believe you let me put this in my mouth.
Phoebe: Okay Joey? Chandler's here, he was wondering (We hear the dial tone as Joey hangs up.) Okay, I guess he ran out of change.
Joey: Yeah, so, uh, so, uh, what's the deal with this father guy, I mean, if someone was havin' my baby somewhere, I'd wanna know about it, you know?
Monica: (Poking her head in) Rach? Can I talk to for just a minute? I-I dropped some socks.
Rachel: I don't know, you know, just the way she waltzed in here all smart, and tall! You know, and just swept Joey off his feet... I mean, nobody else has a chance!
CHANDLER: Janice was my safety net, ok? And now I have to get a snake.
RACH: Well, what's the other thing, what do I think?
RACH: What's that? What? I saw my name. What is it?
Ross: No!! Okay?! Why does everyone keep fixating on that? She didn't know, how should I know?
Janice: Yeah, Im riding the alimony pony. (Does the now famous laugh.)
CHAN: Yes, yes it is, short story, that I was writing.
Ross: (in his head) Oh my God! That's Rachel naked! I can't look at that! I am looking at this. (Looks back at his book.) Okay, vivid colors, expressive brush strokesUnless she wants me to be looking at that. She knows I'm home. She knows I can see her. What kind of game is she playing? I think maybe someone's lonely tonight. Oh-ho, Dr. Geller! Stop it! You're being silly! Or, am I?
ROSS: No, that, that was, I mean, as opposed to uh, the uh, ok. Is this over yet Rach?
CHAN: Oh good, I was hoping that would come up.
CHANDLER: Listen, I have to, uh, um, I have to, I have to confess something.
ROSS: I just wanna read something. It's your pro list.
Chandler: (entering from bathroom, with an issue of Cosmo) All right, I took the quiz, and it turns out, I do put career before men. (to Joey) Get up.
Phoebe: Oh, I cursed it. So now bad things will happen to he who spends it.
JOEY: Oh, yeah, I do.
ROSS: I am, uh, I am...
PHOEBE: I just think that this was a really bad sign, ya know. I mean, like the beast at the threshold, you know. It's just like, I have no family left, ya know. I mean except for my grandmother, you know, but let's face it, she's not gonna be around forever, despite what she says. And I have a sister who I've barely spoken to since we like shared a womb. I don't know, this is my real father and I just, I want things to be like just right.
RACH: That's what I said.
Rachel: Oh God, I can�t believe you�re making such a big deal about this. It was one kiss, one guy, one time!
Ross: Im giving this lecture on erosion theories tomorrow night, I think you should come.
MNCA: Well, uh, I ate some.
Julie: I know, I probably shouldn't even tell you this, but I'm pretty much totally intimidated by you.
MNCA: [to Ross] Listen, I... I don't think this is the best time.
Phoebe: So far, it kinda blows. I dont know, I just thought y'know that hed feel more like a brother y'know, like you and Ross, just like close and connected and....