words in movies
Joey: Oh, its a poster for that World War I movie that Im in, check it out.
Joey: Uh-huh! I know. Im coming soon to a theater near you! Im in THX! Im unsuitable for children!
Ross: Now I cannot wait to see this.
Phoebe: I started that!
Joey: I thought I did! Oh hey guess what? The premiere is next week and youre all invited! (They all gasp.)
Monica: Oh I love taking limos when nobody died!
Rachel: Well obviously I wont be able to come, for those of you who havent checked their calendars today is my due date. Well yknow, I just want to take a moment and thank you guys for how great youve been during this time. I really couldnt have done it without you. And I have loved these last nine months! And even though I am so looking forward to the next part, I am really gonna miss being pregnant.
Ross: Look, I-I know how miserable you are, I wish there was something I can do. I mean I wish I were a seahorse. (She glares at him) Because with seahorses its the male, they carry the babies. And then also umm, Id be far away in the sea. (He sits back down.)
Rachel: God. (Sits down.) I have never been so uncomfortable in my entire life!
Phoebe: Oh I know, Ive been there. I remember toward the end
Rachel: Do you want me to come over there and sit on you? Cause Ill do it.
Rachel: They sent me home from work. They were like, "Start your maternity leave now! Just rest, get ready for the baby." Well yknow what? Screw em! If they dont want me there, Ill just hang out with you guys.
Estelle: Joey! Its Estelle! Great news, I was able to get you and one guest tickets to your premiere.
Joey: One guest? You told me I can have six tickets!
Estelle: Well, I sold four of them on Ebay. Youll be sitting next to HotGuy372.
Joey: Oh my God. So thats it?! I only get to bring one guest?
Joey: (to Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe) Did you hear that? I only get one extra ticket to my premiere. So some how I have to pick between you three and Ross.
Rachel: I dont. But I would still like to be acknowledged. What? Just because Im pregnant you think Im invisible.
Monica: Well, well Ross didnt care enough to be here, so I think hes out. You snooze you lose.
Monica: Well then somebodys snoozing. Joey, not that this uh should affect you at all, but if you were to pick me, I was planning on wearing a sequined dress, cut down to here. (Points to her stomach just above her belly button.)
Chandler: I havent seen this dress.
Joey: Well uh I think I want to take Chandler.
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! I mean Im sorry, I wish I can take everybody, but yknow Chandler always supported my career. Hes paid for acting classes and head shots and stuff and well this will be my way of paying you back.
Monica: Wait a minute, just because he paid for your head shots youre gonna take him? Joey, I dont think youre comprehending just how slutty this dress is!
Joey: Its not just the stuff he paid for, I mean its-its everything. Yknow? He read lines with me. He-he went with me on auditions when I was really nervous, and then he consoled me after I didnt get parts that I really wanted. You always believed in me man. Even, even when I didnt believe in myself.
Chandler: I always knew you were gonna make it. Im so proud of you.
Joey: (in a manly voice) Im gonna go shave. (Gets up.)
Chandler: (in a manly voice) Yeah well, Im gonna go spit. (He goes into the bedroom. On his way out, Joey gives Rachel a wide berth.)
Rachel: Oh, I have to pee. If I dont come out in five minutes its because Ive choked to death on the potpourri stink. (Goes into the bathroom.)
Phoebe: When she comes out, you hold her nose, Ill blow in her mouth, and the kid will just (makes a popping sound) right out of her.
Phoebe: I dont know. I-I think its still gonna be a while.
Monica: Hmm, care to make it interesting? Ill bet you that shell have it by this time tomorrow.
Phoebe: Fine! Ill call Zurich and move some money around.
Chandler: This is so exciting! Its so glamorous! People taking our picture. How do I look?
Joey: Do you mind crouching down a little bit, so that I look taller? (Chandler does so) There you go. (And they walk down the red carpet.)
Phoebe: Oh hey Mon? Rach is here! Ohh, youre still pregnant. Oh, Im sorry. I know how uncomfortable you are. Yknow what? You look great. Yeah, like fifty bucks.
Rachel: Oh, I have to go pee. Apparently this baby thinks that my bladder is a squeeze toy. (Goes to the bathroom.)
Phoebe: Its interesting that you lost. Now, I forget, do you like to lose?
Ross: People ask me why were not together, I just dont know what to tell them.
Rachel: No, Im fine.
Rachel: Ross, it is 100 degrees outside. For the first time in weeks, I am somewhat comfortable.
Monica: Im actually with her on this one.
Joey: (onscreen) "I thought I knew who the enemy was, but it was you all along."
Rachel: Can I ask you something?
Ross: Oh nothing. Nothing! Just uh, youve been a little short with me lately. Im not trying to irritate you.
Dr. Long: Actually, theyre things you can do. Just some home remedies, but in my experience Ive found that some of them are quite effective.
Chandler: I love the specifics, the specifics were the best part!
Chandler: I was surprised to see a kangaroo in a World War I epic.
Joey: You fell asleep!! There was no kangaroo! They didnt take any of my suggestions! Thats for coming buddy. Ill see you later. (Starts to walk out.)
Chandler: Dont go! Im sorry. Im so sorry! (Sees another guy who is still asleep.) Look! This guy fell asleep! He fell asleep too! Be mad at him! (Looks at him more closely.) Or, call an ambulance.
Monica: Well what is it? What is it? If its gonna help bring the baby here, like today. I mean, I think you should do it.
Monica: Im just saying its been a really long time for you. I mean, women have needs. Do it, get yours!
Phoebe: Oh I-I dont know about that. No, I think that if the two of you had sex the-the-the repercussions would be catastrophic.
Monica: Nothing. I just want the baby to be born today.
Monica: Okay fine! I keep betting Phoebe that youre gonna have the baby and I dont want to lose again!
Rachel: Ill take that bet.
Rachel: Well, Im miserable here! I might as well make some money out it!
Ross: Can I get some of that action?
Monica: Wait a minute! Now Im betting against all three of you?
Rachel: Oh honey, dont worry. I really do feel like tomorrows the day.
Chandler: Where have you been?! I tried to call you! I want to talk to you! I still feel so bad!
Chandler: Im so sorry.
Joey: Uh-huh look, the only reason I can over here was to settle things between us! Okay? Youve done a lot for me and my career, I wanted to pay you back so I took you to the premiere but you missed it! Okay, so how much do I owe you?
Joey: Give me a number, I dont want to owe you anything!
Chandler: You dont owe me anything, I dont want you money
Chandler: I dont know, five hundred dollars?
Joey: Okay. Okay, so Im writing you a check for So you fell asleep during my movie. Big deal right? How do you clear this thing?
Rachel: Ross IWe tried all the spicy food. Its not working.
Rachel: I am feeling nothing. Speaking of hot, watching you do that really makes me want to have sex with you.
Ross: Im sorry, but we have to have some boundaries! My God, Im dying.
Ross: This is insane, Im not gonna make love to you just so that youll go into labor.
Ross: I love when you talk dirty to me.
Rachel: Oh, I know it. Youre right. Thats not sexy. Oh Oh! (Drops a fork on the floor.) Whoops! Oh, I seem to have dropped my fork. Let me just bed over and get it. (Tries too, but cant quite seem to make it.) Oh God!
Rachel: Come on Ross! Im miserable here! Come on! You started this, now you finish it! Come on wuss, make love to me.
Rachel: Oh wow! What now Ross youre not gonna talk? How on earth will you ever annoy me? Oh wait a minute, I know. (Mimics his breathing.) I mean youd think the damn jalepeno wouldve cleared up your sinuses, but no!! Thats not enough (Ross jumps over and kisses her.) What are you doing?!
Ross: Im getting that baby out of you!
Ross: Oh, I know.
Rachel: Oh no. No-no! I think my water just broke.
Ross: I am good. Okay! Okay! Uh, I got the pillow! I got the bag! You got the keys?
Rachel: Okay! I got the keys! Okay! Okay!
Rachel: I didnt uh, really have time to read this part of the books, but do you think we have time to
Monica: Thats it. Im done. I dont care when the baby comes, no more betting.
Monica: Hello? (Listens) Uh-huh. (Listens) Uh-huh. (Listens) Okay. (Hangs up.) I guess we can bet one more time.
Monica: You know everything!! Oh wait, double or nothing. I bet you the baby is over seven pounds. (Phoebe isnt interested.) I bet you it has hair. (Shes still not interested.) I bet you its a girl.
Monica: (following her) Ill give you really good odds.
Monica: And when I told her that I was gonna be moving in with Chandler, she was really supportive. (To Rachel) (Starts to cry) You were so great. You made it so easy. And now you have to leave. And I have to live with a boy!! (They both break down in tears.)
Rachel: It's impossible to find a good doctor. I mean, how do you know the good ones from the ones who are gonna push their penis against your knee?
Joey: What? Are you referring to my man's bag? At first, I thought it just looked good, but it's practical too. Check it out! It's got compartments for all your stuff! Your wallet! Your keys! Your address book!
Chandler: I know it sounds really weird, but we're just so bad at relationships.
Tag: Im gettin back together with my ex-girlfriend.
JOEY: But I was Dr. Drake Remoray. How can I go from bein' a neurosurgeon to drivin' a cab?
Monica: Listen umm, Ive been thinking, its not fair for me to ask you to spend all of your money on our wedding. I mean, you work, you work really hard for that.
Phoebe: Oh, we're just... we're sad to go so we're just saying goodbye to the hotel. (hugs the wall) I love you... Paradise Hotel, Golf resort and Spa... (she walks away from the wall)
Ross: (shocked and confused by the question) What? I... I... (Benjamin looks at him as if to say "What's wrong? Answer the question")
Rachel: (laughs) Well, I mean, are you sure you want to go out with her? I mean that aint a pretty picture in the morning, yknow what I mean. That wig all in disarray, and boobs flung over the night stand, y'know.
Joey: Dont worry! Dont worry. I just told him, very nicely, "You dont go buying peoples babies, so back off!!"
Ross: (speaking with his mouth full) Yeah, I mean, all things that guy... (looks at the cookie) These are amazing!
Ross: Eh, I mean, I mena she's not unattractive but hot? I ....
LIPSON: Hi, Dean Lipson, zoo administrator. I was told you had a question.
Rachel: Are any of you guys free tonight? My boss is hosting this charity event for underprivileged kids and the more people I bring, the better I look. So, Monica? Chandler?
Cecilia: Right. Hes not angry at the room either. Try it again, he owns it! He owns the room. It is his. He owns, owns, owns, owns the room! He owns it!! (Joey gets a snooty look on his face.) All right, its a little weird, but its getting better. (Joey is pleased.) Oh well, Im gonna miss this woman so much. I dont know what Im going to do! I mean, its been 20 years of my life.
Chandler: I dont know R.G., I was thinking something girlie for your office.
Erica: No, I don't mind you touching my belly, but right now your hand is kind of blocking the part where the baby is gonna come out.
Rachel: And also, you know I uh, I was thinking about what you said, you know, about the whole sex thing and... it's probably not a great idea to go down that road again.
CAROLINE: I think my uterus just skipped a beat.
Phoebe: It’s ok, it’s ok. I made my decision. What I really want is a great big wedding (she covers her mouth)
Chandler: You cant wear that! Im wearing the famous tux! James Bonds tux!
CHANDLER: I can't believe you got us into trouble. [slaps Joey on the arm. Joey takes exception and slaps him back]
Monica: It is so weird, I know what I said, but uh, this morning, I was lying in bed I was, I was imagining what it would be like to say yes. (Rachel slams the magazine shut in amazement.) I know its a little sudden, and its a little rushed, and its totally not like me to do something like this, but that doesnt mean I cant. Right? I mean Im-Im crazy about Pete, and I know that we want the same things, and when I thought about saying yes, it made me really happy.
Monica: Ohh! Did you do what I said? Did-did-did you tell her?
Chandler: Y'know, I don't know if you've ever looked up the term goofing around in the dictionary Well, I have, and the technical definition is, two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just wanna spend more time together. But if you have this new fangled dictionary that gets you made at me, then we have to, y'know, get you my original dictionary. I am so bad at this.
PHOEBE: Ok, question number 28, have you ever allowed a lighning bearer to take your wind? I would have to say no.
Ross: (standing at the edge of the roof) Yeah, I guess we dont have a choice. (Screaming to the street) Help us! Please help us! Were stuck up on the roof and we cant get down!!!
Chandler: Look, I want those basketball seats as much as you do! Okay, but we cant leave in the small apartment after weve lived here! Didnt you ever read Flowers for Algernon?
Ross: Sure, I mean, do I wish me and Rachel living together would have worked out? Of course. You know, I'm disappointed, but it's not like it's a divorce.
Erin: Im sorry I Its just theres no real spark.
Joey: (contemplates for a few moments what Rachel just said) NAH! I don't have another level!!
Janice: Oh hi! Well, I guess that's two out of three, Joey. (Laughs and exits.)
Part I Written by: Greg Malins & Adam Chase Part II Written by: David Crane & Marta Kauffman Parts I & II Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Phoebe: ...and then it goes back to the chorus... Smelly cat, Sme-lly ca-t / I-t's not your fau-lt. And that's the end of the song... I realise that you didn't ask to hear it, but uhm... no-one had spoken in seventeen minutes.
Jim: Oh also, you might be interested to know that I have a Ph.D.
Chandler: Ooh, Lambchop. How old is that sock? If I had a sock on my hand for thirty years it'd be talking too.
Chandler: (realizes what Ross just said and the implications to him) I am mad! But you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna forgive you! Because that's what friends do! They forgive their friends when they do everything you just said, all on the list there. Well, but I want you to remember that I forgave you.
Joey: No, I do six things! First, I look deep in her eyes. Then, I kiss her. Next I take my hand and I softly graze her thigh.
Phoebe: I just-I just started walking around not knowing what to do next, yknow? I-I started asking people on the street if they wanted massages. Then these policemen, thought I was a whore too. Its been a really bad day, whore wise.
Ross: I know! I know! Why do you guys need to have this conversation?! Huh? I mean no self-respecting man would ask a woman, "So, where is this going?"
Chandler: Yeah, I'm putting my foot down. Yeah look, when I proposed I told you that I would do anything to make you happy, and if having the perfect wedding makes you happy, then, then that's what we're gonna do.
Monica: Im just trying to spice it up!
Phoebe: I dont know! How are the-the-the-the, yknowYoure clothes arent funny.
Joey: Okay. Okay, I totally hear ya. Oo how about this? I vamp a little til they get there?
Phoebe: Yeah, I did. I think it sounds y'know big sistery, y'know, Franks always late.
Chandler: Yeah, Im gonna stick with the ring. (Goes to another display counter.) Oh, this ones nice! (Pointing to another ring.) I like this one! Sir? Uh, kind sir? Can I see this one?
Pete: Let me tell you a story. When I set out to create Moss 865, do you think it just happened overnight? No. There was Moss 1, that burnt down my Dads garage, there was Moss 2 that would only schedule appointments in January, and 862 others that I learned from, just like I learned from this fight, never to let a guy stand on my neck.
Monica: Yeah, well, I'll take a little crying any day over Howard-the-"I-win"-guy. (imitating) "I win! I win!" I went out with the guy for two monthsI didn't get to win once.
Monica: I just ran into Dave and he told me that you blew him off! I mean, you listen to me! Now, I'm calling the shots! I say you leave Ross alone and go get Dave! What the hell were you trying to do?
Phoebe: Woo-Hoo! The curse is broken! I called everybody I know, and everyone is alive.
Rachel: I dont care! I wanna meet this guy who's the best sex she ever had!
Ross: No! No! NotI dont mean I-I see her as a twelve-year-old girl! I mean I-I have a son, whos umm six and I still think of him as a baby.
Phoebe: Yeah, I cant say croissant. (realises) Oh my God!
Ross: And so what if I like to go home, throw on some Kenny G, and take a bath!
Janine: Well actually theyre taping tomorrow. I dont really understand why.
Mike: (disbelieving) I think I will be all right! (to Monica) You wanna volley a bit for a serve?
PHOEBE: I'm sorry Monica but I knew if I told you, you'd get really, like, judgemental and you would not approve.
Rachel: You know what? Uhm, I have some goodbye stuff that I wanted to say to each of you and I was gonna save it until the end of the night, but come here (they go into the guest room).
Ross: Space is filled with orbiting children. (pause) Look, please, just come on, you know, when you’ll see the look on Emma’s face, I swear you won’t regret it.
Emily: I wish I could know if youd heard any of that. I suppose Ive either just told you I love you or given my neighbours a good laugh. Mrs. Newman if youre listening, bugger off this in none of your business. I suppose theres not much chance you did heard that, and theres the call waiting so, I should go. Oh well. (Answers the call waiting.) Hello.
Joey: And I got them a book on Karma Sutra for the elderly.
Joey: Well look, Im breaking up with Katie so I had to put on some extra padding. Y'know? I mean, if she hits me when she's happy, can you imagine how hard she's gonna hit me when I tell her I'm taking away the Joey love?
Mr. Tribbiani: Just for a coupla days. I got a job midtown. I figure I'm better off staying with the kid than hauling my ass back and forth on the ferry. (Sees Roger) I don't know this one.
Joey: I know. I know. And this is so much more complicated than it was for those guys. I mean, its Rachel for God sakes.
Ross: Okay, Ill see you soon buddy. (He hugs and kisses him.) Be back in an hour.
Monica: Oh, I so can't believe this! My uterus is an inhospitable environment? I was trying so hard to be a good hostess!
Mike: Oh she's my girlfriend. That's not just how we do it here. I got to get a break and when we come back we've got Kennethsinging "I touch myself"...I'm not here to judge!
Chandler: I watched it!
Rachel: Yes. Monica, you don't get it. It's bad enough that she's stolen the guy who might actually be the person that I am supposed to be with, but now, she's actually (starting to cry), but now she's actually stealing you.
Monica: Yeah, I got this number from this guy at work and I hired a stripper to come dance for you. Am I going in the wife hall of fame or what?!
Joey: Well, Estelle tried, you know. The casting director told her that I missed my chance.
Mike: Oh, no! I don't think so! You know, according to standard table tennis rules if at any time a player uses his non racket bearing hand to touch the playing surface he or she forfeits the point.
Joey/Drake: I know what I felt that night when we kissed under the bridge.
Ross: Well, I have a PhD, so... (assistant walk out, not impressed by this statement) (Ross takes his bathrobe off and he enters the tanning booth. He stands up in front of the red light and the sprayer starts and sprays his face and torso)
Rachel: So I hear the Ralph Lauren fooled around with someone in the copy room. (Kim stops the elevator and turns to Rachel.)
Rachel: Oh, come on! Ill give you ten free Ralph Lauren shirts.
Ross: No, a car backfired, but (Rachel suddenly calms down) I thought somebody was taking a shot at me. And Rach, I I survived! And I was filled with this-this great respect for life. Y'know? I-I want to experience every moment. I want to seize every opportunity. I-I am seeing everything so-so clearly now.
Judy: (to Monica) I remember your first birthday! Ross was jealous of all the attention we were giving you. He pulled on his testicles so hard! We had to take him to the emergency room! Ross: (pointing the camcorder at himself) There's something you didn't know about your dad!
Monica: Your a poet and don't know it. (she turns away and makes a face like 'I can't believe I just said that.')
Phoebe: (rapidly) Im doing okay. I think its going well. Do you think theyre having fun? Am I talking to fast?
Jill: All right, Im leaving! Because Im not going to spend one more day with someone whose out to sabotage my every move. Thats you Rachel!
Monica: Im gonna hang this basket (Points to the one sitting on the table) on the door and when the neighbors walk by they can all take a piece.
Rachel: Thirty. Ugh, I mean thirty! Monica, do you remember mean, old Mrs. Kreeger in the fifth grade? She was thirty!
Mr. Geller: I understand completely, theres nothing more horrifying than embarrassing yourself in front of your in-laws. As a matter of fact, when I started dating Judy I was unemployed, and her father asked me what I did for a living and I told him I was a lawyer.
Zack: Thanks! Do you have a coaster? I don't wanna make a ring.
Richard: No, we still have food in the basement! I saw potatoes and some dry pasta!
Rachel: Yeah! Oh, umm when-when Monica and Chandler got engaged I started putting some stuff together, yknow just in case
Ross: Wow, I havent seen her for like forever. I wonder if she still carries that Barbie everywhere she goes.
Mr. Thompson: Well, I hope youre gonna bid on some things Rachel.
Rachel: I didnt! Even when I found out umm, all right, well let's just say I found something out something about someone and let's just say she's gonna keep it. (Goes into her room.)
Joey: No man, that's huge! Now, I know I can stand to be around her, which means I get to hang out with you, which is kinda the whole point, anyway.
Phoebe: She is lying! And I bet I can prove it. Excuse me. (She grabs Ursulas purse and starts going through it and finds some papers.) Okay. Okay. YeahNot a prayer chain, but what looks like a detailed drawing of a bank floor plan. (Holds up her nametag.) Okay, heres the nametag from the restaurant where she works as a waitress! Not a teacher, a waitress. All right, heres her driver license, this oughta be good, she always lies about this. How old did she say she was?
Ross: So I asked Emily if she would come to New York, and she said yes.
Mrs. Geller: I brought something that I want to give you, assuming of course that you want it. (She holds up an engagement ring.)
Ross: No ah-ah-ah! Do not start this car! (She starts the car.) Okay! Okay! I will give you twenty bucks if you get out of this car right now! (He looks for the twenty Rachel stole and doesnt find it.)
Chandler: (embarrassed) I cannot believe Ross told you that! (pause) And in my defense, it was a Wendy's!
Joey: See, I actually can pour milk, but I got you believing that I couldnt. Now, see, thats acting.
Ross: And if you think about it, I mean the reason he memorized all that stuff is because he thought it was important to you. You know, that's the kind of guy Joey is.
Chandler: Oh actually, Id rather you Yeah, go ahead. Were gonna have to burn that room down anyway.