words in movies
Monica: Okay, the reason why I asked you guys out to brunch today is because I have been doing some thinking about who should be my maid of honor.
Rachel: Oh my God! This is it! (She and Phoebe hold hands.) (To Phoebe) I really hope its you!
Phoebe: I hope its you.
Monica: First of all um, I love you both so much and youre both so important to me
Monica: Well umm, I was thinking that maybe we could come up with a system where we trade of being maid of honor for each other. Like hypothetically, if Phoebe were mine
Monica: Rachel would be Phoebes, I would be Rachels, that way we all get to do it once and no one would get upset.
Phoebe: Yeah, Ill do that. So who gets to be yours?
Monica: Because then I dont have to!
Rachel: Well of course we will help you decide! We will do anything we can to help you! Now, I would like to make a toast, to the future Mrs. Chandler Bing (A woman at the table behind them overhears Chandlers name and starts listening closer), my best friend, and truly one of the nicest people that
Monica: Im really not deciding!
Chandler: Yeah, I just got uh, got plans.
Chandler: No, see the thing is I want to get out of here before Joey gets all worked up and starts calling everybody bitch.
Phoebe: Umm, when I get married will you be my maid of honor?
Rachel: Oh my God Phoebe! I mean Im justWait a minute. If Im your maid of honor that means you are Monicas.
Rachel: Ohh! No way Phoebe! I want to be Monicas!
Rachel: What-what if I marry RossOr Joey?
Phoebe: (gasps) You wouldnt! Okay look, Rachel I know you really want to do this, but I-Ive never been maid of honor to anyone before! And I know youve done it at least twice!
Phoebe: And no, oh please, oh please let me finish. (Rachel stops talking.) Oh I guess that was it.
Rachel: Im gonna marry someone good yknow.
Phoebe: Oh I know.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Die Hard has ended, only I dont think Joey and Ross know that yet. As you see, they are both asleep. And theyre on the same couch. Which means theyre sleeping together. Not like Joey is at one end and Ross is on the other, they both happen to be lying down and sleeping together. Well, there hasnt been any clothes removed so not that kind of sleeping together. Not that theres anything wrong with that. That is unless youre a Republican in which that kind of thing will bring about the downfall of Western society, especially if they should happen to want to get married. Anyway, let me recap. No, there is too much, let me sum up. Ross and Joey are taking a nap together on top of each other and both wake-up at the same time, realize what they just did, scream, and jump up.]
Joey: Well, I dont know!!
Joey: Yeah. Yep. Yeah. All right, well uh, Id better go.
Ross: I think that would be best.
Joey: Yeah. All right, Ill talk to you later.
Monica: Yeah hey, a weird thing happened today whey I was at brunch. This woman overheard that I was marrying you and-and then she she wished me good luck.
Chandler: No, no I only dated two girls in college, both blonde, both not attractive (Thinks a little while.) Hold on one second; let me check this out. (He gets up and grabs a photo album.
Chandler: (pause) No, were still together. Yeah we went out for two summers, and then I broke up with her.
Chandler: I did not say fat! I said, "Fa-aa-aw-ow "
Joey: Hey! Well I hope it goes better than the last time you did it for that girl downstairs, remember? (Phoebe glares at him.)
Rachel: All right thats it! I am maid of honor!
Phoebe: Na-uh, I am!
Phoebe: Because I cared enough to lie!
Joey: Hey-hey-hey-hey, I can help you decide who should do it! Yeah, we could have like uh, like an audition and see how youd handle maid of honor type situations.
Joey: Like when I want a job, I go to an audition and if Im the best of the people they see, they give me the part.
Joey: Uh hey look uh Ross, look I think we need to talk about before.
Joey: Yes we do! Now look, that was the best nap I ever had!!
Ross: I I dont know what you are talking about.
Ross: Ive had better.
Ross: Ive said it! Okay?! But its over Joey!
Joey: I want to do it again.
Monica: Chandler! (Knocks on the door.) Chandler! I just figured out who you are!
Chandler: Can you figure out what Im doing?
Monica: Lewis Posin! He was my best friend in fifth grade, and-and then one day I asked him to be my boyfriend and he said no. Do you know why?
Monica: No! But because he thought I was to faaaaa . (Chandler emerges, without flushing by the way.) And every time I think about it, it makes me feel as bad as I did in fifth grade! Yknow, I-I really think that you should apologize to Julie.
Monica: No, I know. But yknow what? It would make me feel better if Lewis apologized to me.
Chandler: Okay, I will do it. But I have to warn you; this may make me a better person and that is not the man you feel in love with!
Joey: (crying) I dont want to marry Chandler!
Joey: Ive got cold feet.
Joey: No, one man for the rest of my life? I dont know if I can do it! This means Ill never get to sleep with Joey!
Rachel: Look Monica, getting cold feet is very common. Yknow, its-its just because of all the anticipation and you just have to remember that you love Chandler. And also, I ran out on a wedding. You dont get to keep the gifts.
Joey: (out of his Monica character) Very good! Drawing on your own experience, I like that!
Joey: Were now in the ceremony, Monica is about to say, "I do" when her drunk uncle starts yelling. What do you do? Go!
Ross: (playing the drunk uncle) When Monica was a little girl, I remember that(Phoebe screams and tackles him)Ooh!! Ow! Very good!
Rachel: Okay! Okay! Umm, Websters Dictionary defines marriage as (Ross and Joey start writing.) Okay!! Forget that! That sucks!! Okay, never mind! Forget it! Umm, umm, okay, uh I met, I-I met, I met Monica when we were just a couple of six year olds and I became friends with Chandler when he was 25, although he seemed like a six year old.
Rachel: Thank you. Thank you very much. Umm, Ive known them separately and Ive known them together and-and to know them as a couple is to know that you are truly in the presence of love. So I would like to raise my glass (Grabs a glass and holds it up) to Monica and Chandler and the beautiful adventure they are about to embark upon together. I can think of no two people better prepared for the journey.
Ross: Okay Phoebe, I guess youre next (To Joey) although I really dont see the point.
Phoebe: Okay, I cant believe that Monica and Chandler are getting married. I remember talking about this day with Rachel while we were showering together, naked. (Raises her glass and drinks.)
Chandler: (she opens the door) Julie hi! Chandler Bing, I, I guess you remember me.
Chandler: (To Monica) Its a nickname, Ill explain later.
Chandler: Ah, uh, I owe you a long overdue apology. I never should have broken up with you because you were overweight.
Chandler: You-you-you didnt know that. (Pause as she nods no.) Well, I guess my work here is done!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are giving Phoebe and Rachel the results of their election. Somewhat faster than Florida I might add.]
Joey: All right, well first of all I would like to say that you both performed very well. Okay? You should be proud of yourselves. And-and I would also like to say that in this competition there are no losers. Well, except for RachelDamnit!
Phoebe: Really?! I won!
Ross: Im sorry Rach, it was, it was really close.
Rachel: Well then I demand a recount! (Hmm, I wonder where Ive heard that before.)
Rachel: Well yknow what? I hope Monica forgives you after you throw her, her vegetarian, voodoo, goddess circley shower! (Runs out.)
Joey: Boy I tell ya, that judging stuff took a lot out of me.
Joey: Yeah! I was thinking about maybe going upstairs and taking a little nap on my couch. (Raises his eyebrows, questioning Ross to see if he wants to join him.)
Ross: Why-why would I care about that?
Joey: No reason, Im just saying that uh Thats where Ill be.
Chandler: As bad as that went I actually enjoyed myself. I think that Im going to apologize for all of the stupid things I do.
Chandler: I would really love it if could do both.
Monica: All right, I I have to ask.
Monica: Are you gonna break up with me if I get fat again?
Chandler: Look I know it was a stupid reason to break up with somebody, but I was 15!
Chandler: You were not supposed to hear that! I said that behind you back!
Monica: What if I have babies, okay? I mean Im gonna look different. Im okay with that, but Im not sure that you are!
Chandler: Look you have to realize I dont think of you as a thin, beautiful woman. (Monica glares at him.) See this is one of things that I can apologize for later! Look, what I mean is youre Monica! Okay? And I am in love with Monica.
Chandler: So you can balloon up or you can shrink down and I will still love you.
Monica: Even if I shrink down to two inches tall?
Chandler: Id carry you around in my pocket.
Monica: I love you. (They hug and kiss.)
Rachel: Hi! I just want to apologize. Im really sorry I was a baby.
Rachel: Yeah. Yeah, and yknow you-you deserve to win. And-and yknow I was thinking about it, if-if youre Monicas maid of honor that means I get to be yours.
Rachel: Yeah! Oh, umm when-when Monica and Chandler got engaged I started putting some stuff together, yknow just in case
Rachel: Here is a book of poetry that I know Monica loves. And-and ohh God this is funny, look, this is a picture of one Halloween where she dressed up as a bride. (Shows Phoebe the picture.) And look, she made me carry her train, which was weird because I was Wonder Woman. Oh and heres a little purse that I found. (Hands her the purse) Yknow I just thought that maybe they could hold the rings in there.
Rachel: And umm, vintage handkerchiefs yknow cause, people cry at weddings. (Starting to cry.) Im just gonna grab a couple of these.
Rachel: Oh, I forgot this was in here. Umm, this was the uh garter that I was saving for my wedding and I wanted it to be Monicas something borrowed and its blue. (Starts to cry again.) Yeah
Phoebe: Yknow Rach, I think that, I think you should be Monicas made of honor.
Phoebe: Because I think it means more to you.
Phoebe: Its fine. I mean, this is something that youve been thinking about since you were what, 14? (Shes referring to the Halloween picture.)
Rachel: No, I was ten. I just developed early.
Monica: (gasps) Ohh, wow! Thats great! (Rachel and Monica hug.) Oh wow! We really have to start planning! I have, I have a lot of really specific ideas! We should probably get together like four times per week. You can come over to my place; well get together before work! What do you say, 6:30, my place? Im so excited! (Runs out leaving Rachel completely stunned and Phoebe laughing.)
Rachel: Ohh, its gonna be so great! Im gonna get to help decide what we sell, Im gonna have an office with walls and everything. (turns to Monica) Im gonna have walls!
Chandler: Do I look fat?
GRANDMOTHER: Anyway, that's all I know. That, and this. [pulls apart a frame and pulls a picture out] This is the real him.
Monica: Honey, we've been trying to have a baby for over a year. I think it's a good idea to find out if everything's ok. Just a few routine tests.
Monica: How do I tell Chandler that its too soon. Its gonna break his heart, hes not gonna think that I dont love him anymore.
Chandler: I... thought it was a timely start to thinking about other people. Besides, this gift still says I love you guys.
Rachel: Look, I am so so happy for you guys, but you getting married just reminds me of the fact that Im not. Im not even close. And I dont know, maybe I just wanted to make myself feel better. And I know that thats dumb, but oh my God you were so depressed when Ross got married that you slept with Chandler!
JOEY: Ten years I've been waiting for a break like this Chandler, ten years! I mean, Days of Our Lives. That's actually on television.
Ross: So is everybody here? I got here a little early myself. Let us begin. Now, the hydrosaurids have been unearthed in two main locations. (He moves to the map and we see why he made it to class on time, hes wearing in-line skates and hasnt taken them off.) Here. (Points to the map, somewhere in the Middle East, then spins on the skates and points to the map.) Here. (China.) Now as for the hydrosaurs
Monica: Y'know what? After you're with this woman for like ten minutes, you forget all that. I mean, she is this astounding person, with this, with this amazing spirit.
FRANK: I gotta friend named Mark.
Phoebe: Yeah, but did they have to shoot him down? I mean, that was just mean.
DR. REMORE: Some guys are just lucky I guess.
ROSS: Pheebs, I have studied evolution my entire adult life. Ok, I can tell you, we have collected fossils from all over the world that actually show the evolution of different species, ok? You can literally see them evolving through time.
Phoebe: Okay, I asked for the news, not the weather.
(Ross turns his back on Paul and makes a I hate that guy face. Paul does the same thing.)
Phoebe: Yeah, it's weird. I can't help it though he's so sweet, he's like this little puppy dog, y'know? But like a really tough one that shots bad guys. Ohh, I just love beginning parts of relationships, y'know?! You just like can't keep your hands off each other.
Mike: Well hey, I wanna ask you about Monica's little "groomy" joke.
Chandler: Hello? Hello? Oh, hey Charlie. Did anybody else hear? ... What? Susan got it?? How? Oh man, I would have slept with him!! .. Alright, bye. (hangs up)
Monica: Hey. Its three in the morning. They dont know that Ive come home yet. You notice how neither one of them are wondering where I am.
Mr. Tribbiani: No, it's only been six years. I just wanted to put a nice memory in your head so you'd know that I wasn't always such a terrible guy. ...Joe. Y'ever been in love?
Malcom: I was thinking what it would be like to kiss you.
Chandler: No, that's all right. I just had a jar of mustard.
JOEY: Oh, Richard's here. I should run down say bye to him (runs out)
JOEY: Well, it was a fight. . . based on serious stuff, remember. About how I never lived alone or anything. I just think it would be good for me, ya know, help me to grow or. . . whatever.
Monica: Oh, that's what I would do, forget mine.
Robert: So um, is there a phone here, I can check my messages?
Janice: Oh, (laughs) I wish. No, you know he was just trying Ross's Hug and Roll thing.
Monica: I think, that if you really like this guy, you should just trust him.
Phoebe: What are you saying I should do?
Rachel: (moves the stool out of the way) Yeah! Ohh, Ive been waitin so long to get on that body!
Emily: I realize that people are going to be disappointed. But, Im sure theyll come back when we can do it right.
Rachel: Uh, I will see you... and I'll raise you. (throws chips in pot) What do you say... want to waste another buck?
Malcom: Uh-huh, I don't know.
Joey: I don't know, I just always pictured you ending up with one of those tall, smart blond guys, name like.... Hoyt.
Joey: It's a name, yeah. I saw you, you know, in this great house with a big pool.
Monica: I like that. (Joey starts laughing) What?
Phoebe: I went shopping with Monica all day, and I had a salad.
Ross: I assume we're looking for an answer more sophisticated than 'to get you into bed'.
Joey: Look, I don't have it all worked out yet, but it's gotta mean big money! Come on! Identical hands!
Joey: The fridge broke. I have to eat everything. Cold cuts, ice cream, limesHey, what was in that brown jar?
Rachel: Well Im alone and I just bought fifteen dollars worth of candy bars, what do you think?
Chandler: Mmmm. Not tonight, honey. I got an early day tomorrow.
Chandler: (to Joey) Noo!! I dont care! Im not, Im not gonna playing one-on-one strip poker with you for practice!
Chandler: You're flingin'-flangin' right I am!
Ross: Now, if you wanna try to make some of it back, Id be glad to play you for it. But I should warn you, I am very good at Cups.
Monica: I wish we at least knew his name... Look at that face. I mean, even sleeping, he looks smart. I bet he's a lawyer.
Monica: See, now this is why I keep notepads everywhere.
Joey: I swear to god, Dad. That's not how they measure pants.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, she just graduated, and she wants to be something in cooking, or food, or.... I don't know. Anyway, I told her you had a restaurant-
Joey: I love that movie. (Joey is using it as a pillow)
ROSS: No, but, but I wanna be with you in spite of all those things.
Young Ethan: I am telling you, up until I was, like nine, I thought that gunpoint was an actual place where crimes happen.
Phoebe: (handing Rachel the phone) Fine all right, but Id bet youd be singing another tune if we were fighting over a ratchet.
Strange man: (he bounds into the house) I knew you'd be here!
MONICA: Well, CHP because I used to have a crush on Eric Estrada. And ZXY becuase I think it sounds zexy.
JOEY: These'll go great in my new place. You know, 'till I get real ones.
Monica: Ow! (Chandler slaps her on her back) Oh, that sounds nice! I am just there for jury duty. They really spruce that place up!
Mona: I dont understand. You-you give me a key to your apartment and then you change the lock.
Woman: Yeah, well, I had a 24-inch waist. You lose things. Now come on, get outta my way.
Phoebe: Oh, I don't know. I mean it was fun one time.
Joey: Yeah! Well, well really it's three. Please. You're so good at it. I love you.
Monica: (To Chandler) Look honey, you dont have to do this, okay? Its the strength you have inside that means the most to me. Youre loyal, youre honest, and you have integrity! Thats the kind of strength that I want in the man that I love!
Eric: Hi, Im Eric, Im gonna be Chandlers new roommate.
ROSS: Hey, tell me again, what do I do when Mr. Roper calls?
Joey: Hey Ross, check this out! (he tries to spin a basketball on his fingertip but he throws it against a table) yeah, I can't do that!
Ross: (sarcastically) Oh Great! After I finish my wine I'm going to blow my... eh. average-sized brains out.
Joey: Okay. Okay. Umm Ooh! Oh-oh, I got something. Its this story I came up with, very romantic. I swear any woman that hears it; theyre like putty.
Rachel: I dont know, let me think. I was walking down the street thinking, Im gonna tell the father today and then bam!
Ross: Here we go. (Plays one note) Yknow, Ive-Ive never played my stuff for anyone before, so its important that-that you understand its about communicating very private emotions. (Plays another note) Yknow, umm, you should-you should think of umm, my work as wordless sound poems. Thats what Im
Rachel: Well, I never thought I'd say this, but I'm gonna go use Ugly Naked Guy's bathroom. (Does so.)
Ross: You know what it's fine. If you're okay with the Barbi thing, so am I.
Chandler: Okay, okay. So, should I call her?
PHOEBE: No, 'cause you just said dad and everywhere I go today I keep getting signs telling me to go see my father. Like when I was walking over here and I passed a buffet...which is my father's last name.
Chandler: I said, 'So I'm not gonna lose her?'
Joey: Why not?! (to Chandler) Im hungry.
Cop: Sipowicz? No, I don't think so.
LIPSON: Ahh, I'm afraid I have some bad news. Marcel has passed on.
Phoebe: Oh, Joey! Oh, okay, see I didn't recognize you wearing, in those....pants.
EDDIE: Oh, this is, this is unbelievable. I mean, first you sleep with my ex-girlfriend then you insult my inteligenct by lying about it and then you kill my fish, my Buddy?
Joey: You said I had to give you the chair, you didn't say anything about the cushions.
Phoebe: Oh, now you're sad and creepy, oh. You know what, I, I'm sorry I quit, okay, I just quit.
JOEY: But wait, wait, wait. Then, after I left her office, she caught up with me at the elevator and offered me an even bigger part.
Chandler: Can I be that guy?
Joey: I didn't get it?
Phoebe: Yeah, no, I understand.
David: Daryl Hannah was the most beautiful woman that he'd ever seen in his life and I said yeah, I liked her in Splash, a lot, but not so much in- in Wall Street, I thought she had kind of a
Carol: I cant speak for Emily, but Susan is in a loving, committed relationship.
JOEY: My animals. Hey the guy said they suited me, he spoke with an accent, I was all confused. I don't know what I'm gonna do.
Phoebe: (walking over) Hey. Ursulas fianc�e is really sweet! Hes a teacher, he does all this volunteer work. Yknow normally yknow, I dont like really sweaty guys. But this one? I could just mop him up!
Rachel: (softly) I think you should go.
Chandler: (on phone) I love you too.
Carol: G. I. Joe. G. I. Joe?!
Chandler: I love the specifics, the specifics were the best part!
JOEY: And, and just so you know, if you wanted to expand this scene like, like have the cab crash or somethin', I could attend to the victims 'cause I have a background in medical acting.
Rachel: (softly) I really think you need to go now.
Ross: I will, I will. See, I'm waiting for the right moment. (Joey looks at him) What? What, now?
Chandler: Janice I didnt even know you were pregnant! Whos the unwitting human whos essence youve stolen?
Monica: You know what? I take back what I said before. You keep playing at the restaurant, because with your music driving people inside, my bar sales are going up like crazy.
INTERVIEWER: And if I want to call for a reference on your last job?