words in movies
Ross: And that's why, no matter what mommy says, we really were on a break. (baby talk) Yes we were! Yes we were! (picks Emma up) Come here gorgeous. (puts her on his knees and talks to her) Oh! Look at you! You are the cutest little baby ever! You're just a... a little bitty baby, you know that? But you've got... (in a softer voice) You've got big beautiful eyes... Yes you do... and a... and a big round belly. (emphasises the B's) Big baby butt! I like big butts. (raps) I like big butts and I cannot lie / you other brothers can't deny / when a girl walks in with an itty, bitty, waist / and a round thing in your face you get...(Emma laughs) Oh my God, Emma... you're laughing! Oh my God, you've never done that before, have you? You never done that before... Daddy made you laugh, huh? Well, daddy and Sir Mix Alot... What? What? You... you wanna hear some more? Uhm...(raps) My anaconda don't want none / unless you got buns hon... (Emma laughs again and Ross looks worried) I'm a terrible father!
Joey: Well, I'm starting to make good money on the show and I'm thinking... I should probably do something with it.
Joey: Well, I just tape it to the back of my toilet tank. (realises that anyone could have overheard that) I didn't say that! It's in a bank guarded by robots!
Monica: Joey, I think you should consider something a little less risky. I mean, I think in this market, real estate is your best investment.The Fed. just lowered the rates and the interest on your mortgage is totally deductible. (looks at Chandler) That's right, I know some stuff!
Chandler: Oh, well... Maybe I'll join them some time. I just hope the club doesn't slip out of my hand and beat the moustache off his face.
Rachel: Yeah, totally! You are in such good hands. And I'm so good with meeting parents. With the father, you know, you want to flirt a little bit, but not in a gross way. Just kind of like: "Oh mr. Pincer, I can see where Wallis gets his good looks..."
Monica: I knew you didn't get a 1400!
Rachel: Ssshyeah, well, duh! I mean...
Rachel: I just finished getting Phoebe all dressed to meet Mike's parents. She's so nervous, it's so sweet!
Ross: Guess what? I made Emma laugh today.
Rachel: (in disbelief) You WHAT? And I missed it? Because I was giving a makeover to that stupid hippie?
Ross: I uhm... Well, I sang... (Rachel gasps) well actually I rapped... Baby Got Back... (Rachel's face changes from excited to angry)
Catherine: All the appliances are included. There is a lot of light, a new kitchen... I think you guys would be very happy here... (Joey and Chandler both realise what she's assuming and start laughing.)
Chandler: We're not gonna have this conversation again... Look at this place. Why am I so intimidated by this guy? Pretentious art, this huge macho couch. When we know all he does is sit around all day crying about losing Monica to a real man! (laughs) You don't think he's here, do you? (Joey looks around)
Joey: You know what it is? It's a nice place but I gotta see I don't know if I see myself living here. Oh, oh, oh, let me see... (Joey sits down on the couch, mimes opening a can and puts his hand down his pants) Yeah, I could see it.
Chandler: (Chandler looks around the place and his eye gets caught by Richard's video collection) Look at these videos. You know, I mean, who does he think he is? Magnum Force, Dirty Harry, Cool Hand Luke... Oh my God!
Phoebe: (no accent) Uhm... Okay, well, allright, uhm... Originally I'm from upstate, but uhm... then my mom killed herself and my stepdad went to prison, so... I just moved to the city where uhm... I actually lived in a burned out Buick LeSabre for a while... (frowns are received) which was okay, that was okay, until uhm... I got hepatitis, you know, 'cause this pimp spit in my mouth and... but I... I got over it and uhm... anyway, now I'm uhm... a freelance massage therapist, uhm... which, you know, isn't always steady money but at least I don't pay taxes, huh... (everyone in the room finds it a bit surreal, which Phoebe realises and starts to talk in the accent again) So... where does everyone summer?
Phoebe: So Theodore... I uhm... I can see where Mike gets his good looks from...
Theodore: Oh no, not all the time... I do the best I can...
Phoebe: Yeah I bet! Look out! (Phoebe punches Theodore right in the stomach)
Theodore: I recently had surgery.
Theodore: No, I'll be fine... I just should check the stitches...
Phoebe: I really, really am sorry.
Mike: But, I mean, you have met... humans before, right? Look, why don't you go talk to my mom?
Phoebe: Yeah okay... yeah, your mom... okay... She looks nice, I can talk to her.
Mike: Yeah, you do that, and I go check my dad for signs of internal bleeding. (Mike walks away and Bitsy walks in the same direction.)
Phoebe: Yeah... Oh Bitsy, hi. Uhm... listen I just wanted to thank you again for having me here tonight.
Phoebe: Also uhm... I just want you to know what a wonderful man your son is.
Bitsy: Thank you, I think so too.
Phoebe: Are you kidding. He is so considerate of my feelings and... you know I think... you'd also like to know that he is a very gentle lover.
Chandler: I'm not gonna watch it... I don't NEED to watch it... I mean, what good could possibly come from watching? (sighs) Well, we know I'm gonna watch it. (Chandler moves to put the tape in the VCR and Joey enters the apartment)
Chandler: I had to! Okay, imagine you were married... and you found a tape of your wife in another guys' apartment... Wouldn't you need to know what was on it?
Joey: I don't know. Who'm I'm married to?
Chandler: Allright, I'm gonna watch it... I mean look, it's probably not even what I think it is... And even if it is... It can't possibly be as bad as what I'm picturing in my head... (laughs nervously) Can it?
Joey: Guess I don't know. My experience: if a girl says yes to being taped... She doesn't say no to much else, I tell ya...
Chandler: Just for a few seconds, so I can know what it is... Please?
Joey: All right, fine... But if I enjoy this, you have only yourself to blame... (Chandler turns his back to the TV. Joey puts the tape in the VCR, switches it on and watches what's on the tape... It's clearly a american football match, with the referee's whistle blowing, the crowds cheering...)
Chandler: Why am I hearing cheering?
Joey: You don't wanna see what I just saw! (at this moment Monica comes home, and sees Chandler flat on his back on the floor and Joey pinning him down)
Rachel: Okay... aahhh... Please laugh for mommy... Please? Please laugh for mommy... (Rachel makes a funny face, sticking her tongue out, making a farting noise and using her hands as antlers, wiggling her fingers... No response from Emma...) Not funny huh? Oh so, is it... only offensive novelty rap? Or maybe just, you know, rap in general? 'Cause mommy can rap... (Rachel tries to rap and makes weird movements with her arms in the process.) My name is mommy and I'm here to say / that all the babies are... Oh, I can't rap... Allright sweetheart... This is only because I love you so much, and I know that you're not gonna tell anybody... (Rachel's face is telling "Oh what am I doing? The things I have to go through... and she starts to rap) I like... big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... / when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face... (Emma starts to laugh) Yes! Yes! Yes! YES! Oohhhhh! Oh! (Rachel now really gets into it, and her insecure movements start getting better) I like big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... Oh Emma you're laughing! Oh you are, you really do like big butts, don't you. Oh you beautiful little weirdo... (Rachel picks up Emma and Ross now enters)
Ross: Oh I know, isn't it? Ooh... what'd you do to get her to laugh?
Rachel: Oh! You know, I just... couple of things I tried ... I just sang a little doo... Itsy Bitsy Spider...
Phoebe: ...and then it goes back to the chorus... Smelly cat, Sme-lly ca-t / I-t's not your fau-lt. And that's the end of the song... I realise that you didn't ask to hear it, but uhm... no-one had spoken in seventeen minutes.
Mike: Mom, I thought I told you... Phoebe's a vegetarian.
Phoebe: Oh no, no, no, no... That's okay, that's okay... I mean, I'm... I am a vegetarian... except for veal... Yeah no, veal I love...
Phoebe: No, no, no, I actually it's any baby animals: kittens, fish babies... You know... especially veal... and this, this nice vein of fat running through it... (she cuts the meat, picks it up with her fork and holds it in front of her mouth, which she keeps closed, trying to overcome her vegetarian thoughts... and... puts it in her mouth... Clearly not enjoying the meat...) Hmmm... yummy (everybody seems okay with it, except Mike. He's making a hmmmm.... face... Then Phoebe swallows it) Hmmm... (at first she likes it, but then, in an instant puts her hand in front of her mouth and runs from the table. You hear a door slamming.)
Monica: That tape was never meant to be seen by... (pauses) Joey I would feel more comfortable if I was having this conversation in private.
Joey: (laughs) Monica, look... I don't think you and I have any secrets anymore... (Monica keeps looking at Joey) Not ready to joke about it yet, okay, I see you later. (Joey walks out)
Chandler: Because that's who I am, okay? I'm sure a mature man like Richard could see a tape like that and it wouldn't bother him. Just'd be another saucy anecdote for him to share at his men's club over brandy and moustaches.
Monica: Isn't that sad? I mean, can you see how pathetic that is? You shouldn't be jealous. You should feel bad for him.
Chandler: Oh, yeah, well, poor Richard. Y'... I can grow a moustache!
Chandler: Yeah, oh, but I just keep picturing you rolling around with him with your cowboy boots in the air...
Chandler: Oh, good, good. Play more, 'cause I wanna see how it ends.
Theodore: I can't imagine what he sees in her.
Mike: So what? I mean if even I can get past that, it shouldn't bother you. And you don't have to like her. You just have to accept the fact that I do. I mean, if you even can't be civil to the woman I love...
Mike: The woman I love... (he walks to Phoebe) I love you... Which is probably something I shouldn't say for the first time in front of my parents... and Tom and Sue...Who are by the way the most sinfully boring I've ever met in my life...
Phoebe: I love you too...
Phoebe: I had a great time. (accent) It was really top drawer. And here's something rich: thirteen bathrooms in this place... I threw up in the coat closet... Ta taaa...
Rachel: One more time from the top... I like big butts and I cannot lie, you other br... (She also turns and sees the gang)
Phoebe: I hope its you.
Monica: Because then I dont have to!
Joey: I know, but, I was the best, you know? I liked being the best. (He downs the glass of juice in one swig.) I don't know. Maybe I should just get outta the game. They need guys up in housewares to serve cheese.
Joey: Ah, Im-Im walking down the aisle...Still walking. (Mrs. Waltham takes her place.) Im about to pass the bridesmaid I hooked up with last night. (Looking at the bridesmaid.) Hey! (Talking to Phoebe.) I told her "Hey." And now Im at the front with Ross. Its Phoebe. (He shows Ross the phone.) He looks pretty mad. Uh...Id better go.
Phoebe: Your hair looks too good, I think it would upset her. Ross, why don't you come on in.
Phoebe: Yeah, Ill do that. So who gets to be yours?
Monica: Im really not deciding!
Chandler: Yeah, I just got uh, got plans.
Chandler: (To Ross) I dont care, she slept with me.
Joey: Yeah, and I met this really hot single mom at the store. What's an elf to do?
Emily: Hello everyone. So who am I saying hello too?
Monica: No, no, no. Honey, I'm ok. Shake it off! (she shakes the wrist and it's more painful) Oh, no! No shaking, no shaking! Ooh! Ooh! (pause) Oh my God! I can't play!
Rachel: What-what if I marry RossOr Joey?
Rachel: Ohh! No way Phoebe! I want to be Monicas!
Phoebe: Oh I know.
Phoebe: And no, oh please, oh please let me finish. (Rachel stops talking.) Oh I guess that was it.
Joey: (Checks to see if shes drooling on his shirt.) Okay. Okay, okay, hey. (Lays her down and covers her with a blanket.) There we go, lets get your feet up there. (Looks at her) Good night, Kate. Sweet dreams. (Picks up a garbage can) Im gonna put this can right here in case you have to hurl.
Rachel: Im gonna marry someone good yknow.
Joey: All right, okay, this is great, uh, Chandler, you get behind the desk. And-and when she comes in hopefully, she wont recognise you because, well, why would she? Uh, okay, and then you buzz Ross and I. (to Ross) You be Mr. Gonzalez, and Ill be uh, Mr. Wong.
Joey: Yeah. All right, Ill talk to you later.
Ross: I think that would be best.
Joey: Well, I dont know!!
Joey: Yeah. Yep. Yeah. All right, well uh, Id better go.
Rachel: Oh but Joey, I have to go. Theres no room for a baby here.
Joey: Hey, maybe I should stop by! She could be a soap opera fan! It's very impressive when the little people know a celebrity.
Chandler: I cant believe I let you talk me into buying this stupid gumball machine looking ring!
Phoebe: Because I cared enough to lie!
Chandler: Im saying that she is a devil woman! Yknow I mean you think you know someone and then they turn around and they sleep with Nick! Nick, with his rock hard pecs, and his giant man-nipples! I hate him, I hate her! Well, I dont hate her, I love her. This is all my fault really.
Joey: Uh hey look uh Ross, look I think we need to talk about before.
Phoebe: I thought you were excellent! In fact for a minute there I was like, "Ooh, whered Ross go?"
Monica: Can you believe it? ...Y'know what? I just don't feel the thing. I mean, they feel the thing, I don't feel the thing.
Ginger: Its okay if it bothers you. Really. I mean the only thing I need to know is: How much it bothers you? because I dont like wasting my time. Am I wasting my time?
Ross: Ive had better.
Joey: I want to do it again.
Ross: Ive said it! Okay?! But its over Joey!
Ross: I I dont know what you are talking about.
Ross: Well you shouldnt be. Believe me I wouldnt want to be the guy whos up against you. (Chandler laughs.) I mean that doofus is going to lose!
Monica: No, I know. But yknow what? It would make me feel better if Lewis apologized to me.
(Monica does a fake laugh. For the laughs, you'll have to see the episode. I can't describe them.)
Chandler: Well, if he's gonna break up with you, maybe Joey and I should water his plants. If y'know what I mean.
Joey: (crying) I dont want to marry Chandler!
Chandler: So this is nice! I wish I didnt have to go, believe me! But unfortunately I have to. (He gets up and Joey moves over next to Ross.) Oh uh, by the way, whats the name the girl youre dating?
Joey: No, one man for the rest of my life? I dont know if I can do it! This means Ill never get to sleep with Joey!
Joey: Ive got cold feet.
RACHEL: Yes, yes it is true. And I know this because, because he pretended to be Drake to, to sleep with me. [throws water in his face]
Ross: Okay Phoebe, I guess youre next (To Joey) although I really dont see the point.
Monica: No! No! No! No sweetie! No! Not like that! Were not at a barn dance. Youve gottayou wanna fold them like swans. Like I showed you at Christmas time, remember?
Ross: Im sorry Rach, it was, it was really close.
Chandler: (To Monica) Its a nickname, Ill explain later.
Phoebe: Really?! I won!
Chandler: (she opens the door) Julie hi! Chandler Bing, I, I guess you remember me.
Chandler: I just get mad when Rachel doesnt remember where were going.
The Doctor: (entering) (To the receptionist) Can I have the next one please? (Takes the form.) Joey and Tony Tribbiani. (Joey and Carl stand up.)
Chandler: But I am willing to offer her all those things. This was just a plan, yknow? A way to throw her off course so that when I offered her all these things, shed be surprised!
Joey: No reason, Im just saying that uh Thats where Ill be.
Phoebe: Oh, but, could we not go together? I,I don't wanna be the geek that invited the boss.
Joey: Boy I tell ya, that judging stuff took a lot out of me.
Rachel: No, there is no Rachel Greep, but then this other girl overheard us and she was all, "Im Rachel Greep! Im Rachel Greep!" and he let her right in.
RACHEL: Ok, ok, so you're not a fan, but I mean, come on, you cannot do this to her.
Monica: All right, I I have to ask.
Chandler: I would really love it if could do both.
Chandler: Look I know it was a stupid reason to break up with somebody, but I was 15!
Ross: Well with Carol, I promised never to love another woman until the day I die. She made no such promise.
Ross: (takes a drink) Damn, this coffees cold! Hey Rach, do you mind if I heat this up on your loins? (Joey and he both laugh.)
Chandler: You were not supposed to hear that! I said that behind you back!
Monica: I love you. (They hug and kiss.)
Monica: (sits next to him) Phoebe, its okay that you dont want me to be your girlfriend because I have the best boyfriend.
Ross: That does make sense. Because I do wanna seize some opportunity, but I-I really don't wanna see or talk to her.
Monica: Okay fine! Fine! Then you know what, Ill just write about Phyllis! Hmm!
Phoebe: Yknow Rach, I think that, I think you should be Monicas made of honor.
Rachel: Im so glad, Im so glad you shared. (Feeling his shoulder.) And Im glad that youre done. What do you say we umm (Nods in the direction of the bedroom.)
Phoebe: Because I think it means more to you.
Rachel: I am not gonna get fired, because Im not gonna act on it.
Rachel: I meant er, (struggling to concentrate) young, young, I meant young, young to be a doctor. Oh good, Rach.
Rachel: Yknow what? Thats a lot to remember, cant I just tell her youre a pig?
Joey: Well, I sorta am. I mean yeah, Im dating this girl whos also seeing another guy. But, I dont know, Im not to worried about it.
Richard: I didnt ask. You wanna come in?
Joeys Date: You must be Rachel, Im Erin.
Joey: (pretending to be an announcer) And the winner is Joey Tribbiani! (He then gets excited and goes over to the counter to practice his acceptance speech using a bottle of maple syrup as the award.) Oh Wow! I honestly never expected this. I uh, I didnt prepare a speech. But umm, Id like to thank (Rachel enters quietly) my parents, whove always been there for me. Id also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Rachel
Phoebe: (Looking relieved. She puts down the phone.) Oh thank god. Oh, you changed your mind. Oh, look I know you probably want to be alone, and you dont want to talk about it, thats fine. I just want you to know, I think you are doing the right thing and...
Female Student: (as they are moving past Ross) Im so sorry!
Ross: Okay, this is getting a little crazy. I mean, Im-Im sure it would be amazing but I gotta say I really-really dont think it would be a good idea. Yknow? I really, really dont.
Monica: Im fine.
Joeys Date: Sorry about that, but I couldnt get that lock to work on the door.
Joey: (not buying it) Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Or, or Im the one who dates her.
Rachel: Phoebe, honey, if you hate it so much, you should walk out there right now and quit! Be true to what you believe in! Honey, you have principles and I so admire that! I don't have any!
Chloe: And the advances in collating in the past five years, I mean we just got in an X-5000, y'know. The X-5000 makes the X-50 look like a T-71.
Janice: (notices Monicas engagement ring) Ohh! What is that on your finger?! Im blind!
Monica: Well, she was shocked when I told her, but then again so were most people.
GUNTHER: I used to be Bryce on All My Children.
Ross: Well now lets-lets look at this objectively, I think I should date her
Rachel: Well Joey, I hate to admit it, your way of sailing is a lot more fun.
Monica: Come on! So she comes to the wedding! I mean it wont be so bad.
Phoebe: All right, I guess I'll have to find a new bridesmaid.
Ross: Thats interesting, but check this out. I date her
Rachel: I know!
Joey: Yeah. Ill uh, Ill call ya.
Rachel: Oh Joey, Im sorry I just couldnt tell her all those things you wanted me to tell her. And yknow we got to talking and I
Rachel: Oh and Ill call ya too!
Rachel: (entering from the bathroom) Hey Mon? Im gonna check my messages.