words in movies
Chandler: I will have one. (Ross and him both take one.)
Chandler: Okay, Im not gonna have one.
Ross: Neither will I. (they both put back the brownies.)
Chandler: All right Ill have one. (he and Ross take another brownie,)
Ross: So whats a matter, you need a dentist? Ive got a good one.
Phoebe: No thanks, I have a good one too. I just, I, I cant see him.
Phoebe: Because, every time I go to the dentist, somebody dies.
Chandler: That is so weird, because every time I go to the dentist, I look down the hygienists blouse.
Phoebe: Yes, while I was in the chair! Thats why I take such good care of my teeth now, y'know, its not about oral hygiene, I floss to save lives!
Ross: Thanks, Gunther. (takes the plate Gunther serves him and Rachel comes up and kisses him) (to Rachel) Hey! (to Gunther) Umm, can I get a napkin too?
Rachel: I promise.
Ross: What? (to Joey) So what are you going to do? I mean how, how are you going to tell Chandler?
Joey: Well, I was thinking about that and I, I think the best way would be, to not.
Joey: Itll kill him. I mean itll, itll just kill him.
Phoebe: Well, you could wait til I go to the dentist, maybe Ill kill him.
Phoebe: Well, Im going to the dentist, so listen, okay, just be on the look out for anything that, that, that you can fall into, or, or that can fall on you, or... All right, just look out! Okay, And um, I also just wanna, I just wanna tell you all that um...... (starts to cry and runs out)
Ross: Okay, I have a problem I have to go into work for a few hours, some kids messed up the Homo Sapien display.
Ross: Yes, thats what I was going to ask, thank you.
Ross: You? You! Want to watch Ben? (in the background Monica mouths Dont worry, Ill be here the whole time. to Ross.) Yes! Thatd be great, no, I just wanted to ask Monica, because I know how empty her life is. (Monica sarcastically mouths Yeah! and holds up her thumb.)
Joey: Ive got a science question.
Joey: Hey-hey, Im not judging.
Rachel: (holding Ben) Look Benny, spoon. (moves it back and forth) Spoon. Come on! All right, y'know what I think hes bored.
Rachel: All right, I like that.
Rachel: I cannot push it in!
Monica: I got it!
Monica: The second that Ross walks in that door, I want you take him back to your bedroom and do whatever it is that you do that makes him go, (high pitched) rweee!!
Rachel: Oh, oh, oh, Ill get Rainy Day Bear!! (runs to get him)
Joey: Id really prefer a mountain bike.
Chandler: Janices birthday is coming up, I want to get her something speacial. Come in here with me.
Chandler: Thats a good idea, Dear Janice have a Hubba-Bubba birthday. I would like to get her something serious.
Chandler: All right. Look, Im gonna go in here, and you dont buy me anything ever. (starts to go into the store)
Joey: Okay. I went down to the Mattress King showroom and, and I saw Janice, kissing her ex-husband.
Joey: Im telling you man, I saw it.
Joey: Im not wrong! I wish I was. Im sorry. Bet that barium enema doesnt sound so bad now, huh?
Rachel: See Pheebs, I promised you no one would die, didnt I?
Phoebe: Yeah, well, well see about that. Can I use your phone? I just wanna call everyone I know.
Rachel: Okay, I heard that.
Rachel: (goes over and hits her head on the post) Look at that! (repeats) Look at that! (repeats) We all do it. (repeats) Okay, Im stopping now.
Chandler: Ah, I dont know, you tell me. Anything you ah, wanna tell me, because, if you ah, you should, if you, you would, tell me.
Chandler: You tell me! Maybe, its because I was just fooling with my ex! Oh no-no-no-no, no-no-no-no, that was you!!
Janice: Oh, Im sorry honey, Im so, so, (nasally) haaaaa! Im so, so sorry, I just (nasally) haaaaaa! But I, oh what happened was, I-I-I cant breathe. Can you get me a bag, or something?
Chandler: Ill take it! All right look, I gotta know. Are you finished with me? (Janice shakes her head no) Are you finished with him? (Janice shakes her head no) Do you still love him? (Janice shakes her head yes) Do you still love me? (Janice shakes her head yes) All right look, (grabs the bag) Im gonna need an actual answer here okay, so which is it, him or me? (his phone starts to ring)
Janice: I dont know.
Monica: Okay, Ben, I wont tell your daddy that you had ice cream for dinner, if you dont tell about our little bonking incident.
Rachel: Monica, number one, I dont think Ben understands the concept of bribery, and number two, I... (Joey starts laughing in the background) (to Joey) What?!
Rachel: I also said number one.
Joey: I know. (giggles harder)
Monica: Oh thats right, thats what Id sound like if I exploded.
Phoebe: Woo-Hoo! The curse is broken! I called everybody I know, and everyone is alive.
Phoebe: Oh my God! I killed him! I killed another one! And this curse is getting stronger too, to bring down something that big.
Joey: Im tellin ya, he hasnt moved since this morning.
Joey: Well, there is one way. His windows open, I say, we poke him.
Chandler: I talked to Janice.
Chandler: She doesnt know. Says she loves us both. Y'know I woke up this morning and I was in love, well I was happy. Y'know it serves me right for buying that twelve pack of condoms. And now I cant even return them, because she choked on the reciept!
Chandler: I dont know, y'know. What, what, would you do?
Joey: Well, it doesnt matter what I would do.
Joey: All right, youre probably not gonna want to hear this but ah, if it was me, and this is just me, (Chandler gets ready to throw another dart) I would ah, I would bow out.
Joey: They have a kid together, y'know. Theyre like, theyre like a family, and if, I dont know, theres chance they could make that work, I know I wouldnt want to be the guy who stood in the way of that. Are you okay? Do you wanna ah, come poke a nude guy?
Rachel: Are you, are you, are you sure its ah, a new bump? I mean, no offense, Ive always thought of Ben as a fairly bumpy headed child.
Ross: Its okay if he bumps his head, kids bump their heads all the time, y'know, it was your first time babysitting, I figured you did the best you could.
Rachel: (confidently) I did!
Ross: I know! Im saying you have to watch them all the time.
Rachel: I did!! I watched! I watched! I watched Monica bang his head against that thing!
Ross: Well, I was just playing with him, and y'know we were doing the alphabet song, which he used to be really good at, but suddenly hes leaving out e and f. Its like they just ah, I dont know, fell out of his head.
Monica: Oh my God, I wrecked your baby!! (runs into the bedroom)
Rachel: I hope its still funny when youre in hell.
Monica: (coming out of the bedroom) You jerk! You know how much I love that kid! (starts to chase Ross around the living room)
Rachel: Ill get the hat.
Chandler: Janice, I have something I need to tell you, and I want you to let me get through it, because its, its, its not gonna be easy.
Chandler: I think you should go back with Gary. I dont wanna be the guy that breaks up a family, y'know when my parents split up, it was because of that guy. Whenever I would see him I was always think y'know Youre the reason, you are the reason why their not together. and I hated that guy. And it didnt matter how nice he was, or how happy he made my Dad.
Janice: Oh! Youre right. Oh God. But, before I can say good-bye, theres something I really need you to know, Chandler. The way I feel about you, its like, I finally understand what Lionel Richies been singing about. Y'know, I mean what we have, its like movie love, youre my soulmate, and I cant believe were not going to be spending the rest of our lives together.
Chandler: Forget what I said, I was babbling! Pick me!
Janice: No, you were right, you were right. I mean, I-I-Ive got to give my marriage another chance.
Chandler: No you dont! No, no, no, I say you have to give your divorce another chance.
Janice: (standing up) Im sorry. (hugs him)
Chandler: I dont care! (turns around and to the people watching them) I dont care!!
Janice: Yeah, um, Im, Im leaving now. (tries to get her leg out of Chandlers grasp, she finally does, but Chandler takes off her shoe.)
Chandler: You cant leave! I have your shoe!
Joey: All right now remember, something this big and long is going to be difficult to manuver, fortunately I have a lot of experience in that area.
Phoebe: Im telling you hes dead. What we are about to have here is a dead fat guy on a stick.
Chandler: (singing) Ill hold you close in my arms. (Phoebe enters) I cant resist your charms. And love....
Chandler and Phoebe: Ill be a fool for you. Im sure, you know I dont mind.
Chandler: (high pitched) No you know I dont mind.
Chandler: I know.
Phoebe: I know.
Chandler: Ive found.
Phoebe: Ive found....
Rachel: I don't know... maybe it's because she has got such callousy fingers from playing crummy guitar...
Ross: I am speachless... I mean the fact that you would put my happiness first like that. I mean, you're an incredible friend, you know that?
Ross: How great is this? You are already comfortable enough to look through my stuff. Oh, I am sorry Michelle, that�smy roommate, Rachel.
Monica: No Chandler, you dont understand! (Chandler starts singing the theme for Sanford and Son, an old TV show starring Redd Fox.) Okay! Okay! Okay! Fine! Now you know. Okay? Im yknow Im sick.
Cecilia: Well, lets just say if I left 15 years ago, the landscape of Mexican cinema would be very different today!
Phoebe: Ooh! Ooh! And I brought Operation! But, um, I lost the tweezers, so we can't operate. But we can prep the guy!
Jack: I told that guy who answered your phone.
Chandler: Im so tired. (She starts kissing him.) Yeah okay, but no foreplay.
ROSS: I'm sorry, my pie was, was in your hood. Now I just have to get the coffee out of that guy's pants and I'll be back in the hospital by 7. [swats at an imaginary insect by his head, guy leaves promptly]
Ross: Yeah, didn�t I mention that? Yeah, I mean, we haven�t being going out for too long, but rather there is thisamazing connection between us. I-I mean, in fact just before you came in she called me her boyfriend. I thought it wasa little too soon, but it was also, you know, it was kinda nice.
Doug: Well, I got tanked myself last night. Pretty dicey drive home, Tapanzi Bridge never looked smaller. (laughs) Thats okay, youre still my number one guy! (slaps him on the butt) Bing!
Ross: Uh, Pheebs, while were hovering around the subject. I just have to say dinosaurs, they-they dont go, rrroof!
Joey: All right, heres a list of things for you to do today. Man, this going to be so great! Thank you so much! All right, I got to go to work Im delivering twins today, but only one of them is mine! (Exits.)
Monica: Well, we... (makes quotation signs in the air) "bore false witness"... See I could be a reverend.
Rachel: She's ok, I just don't get a really good vibe from her!
Ross: This isn't what I ordered! Man! Can anything go right in my life?! First my marriage falls apart and then
Phoebe: (To Joey) You are unbelievable! I spent so much time finding the perfect girl for you, you know. Mary Ellen is really smart and cute and loose.
Joey: (Thinking carefully) no. No, I, I couldn't do that.
MR. GELLER: Well, I can't say any of us were surprised. Your parents have been unhappy ever since we've known them. Especially after that incident in Hawaii.
Phoebe: Okay, so I totally took care of the babies all by myself! I fed em, bathed em, and put em to bed.
Ross: Im sorry man. (Formally dressed people start to enter.) Heres a thought. This is the same ballroom. Theres a band. Theres gonna be plenty of dressed up people.
Monica: Chandler, for so long I I wondered if I would ever find my prince, my soul mate. Then three years ago, at another wedding I turned to a friend for comfort. And in stead, I found everything that Id ever been looking for my whole life. And now here we are with our future before us and I only want to spend it with you, my prince, my soul mate, my friend. Unless you dont want to. You go!
Mrs. Bing: No. Because I know how to write men that women fall in love with. Believe me, I cannot sell a Paolo. People will not turn three hundred twenty-five pages for a Paolo. C'mon, the guy's a secondary character, a, y'know, complication you eventually kill off.
Monica: I know, but look at me all tan.
Rachel: So would I. You wouldnt think that Annie Liebawitz would forget to put film in the camera.
Ross: Oh no, maybe it's me, I'm just not giving you enough credit. Uh, I mean it is difficult to say goodbye to five people. Uh, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, good... (makes choking noises) IT'S PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE. You know what? After all we've been through, I can't believe this is how you want to leave things between us. Have a, have a good time in Paris. (He leaves the apartment. Rachel looks kind of desperate.)
Ross: I have an oily T-zone!
Rachel: Really! God Ross, what were you thinking? (To Phoebe, quietly) I know its really shallow, but a part of me wants him again.
Phoebe: Oh really. Okay. let me ask you something. Yesterday at the coffee house, I went to the bathroom and when I came back, my muffin was gone-who took it?
Monica: Umm, I'd love too! (She goes over and picks up the box and decides to follow Rachel's advice and holds the box up to her cheek.) Ooh, I love macaroni and cheese. I love-I love the way this box feels against my cheek.
Monica: Ohhh! What are you doing to me?! Oh look, I-I Im sorry but umm, this-this-this-this is not going to happen.
Joey: (pouring two glasses) Hey look Ross, you need to understand something okay? I uh I am never gonna act on this Rachel thing, okay? I-I would never do anything to jeopardize my friendship with you. (He hands Ross a glass.)
Phoebe: Shes just so cute! I just wanna bite her ear off and use it and a sucking candy.
Ross: You did so. I swear, I swear(noticing Kristin's absence) How long has she been in the bathroom?
Ross: No, I-I got really hot in my leather pants so I took them off but they must have shrunk from the-the sweat or-or-or my legs expanded from the heat. Look, I-I can't put them back on. I can't!
Joey: Don't worry, there wasn't any sex in it or anything. I haven't dreamt about her like that since I found out about you two--ish.
Monica: Yes. Uh, yes, I did. That was my friend, Eddie Moskowitz. Yeah, he likes it. Reaffirms his faith.
Charlie: Ross, why don't you tell Benji about your proposal, while I go to the ladies room?
CHANDLER: What're you kidding? I broke up with her. She actually thought that Sean Penn was the capital of Cambodia.
Joanna: Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait!! If youre gonna get all sensitive about it! I dont want to lose you. What if I, create a position for you? Ill make you an assistant buyer in this department.
Rachel: Oh, I wish he was a doll, then I could get a Rachel doll and bump them together and make kissy noises. Oh! And he has the most beautiful name, I never realised it, Joshua! Josh-u-a! Joshua! Josh.
Rachel: So? You guys are all sleep deprived. I dont see you weeping because you put your slippers on the wrong feet. Oh God. (Starts to cry harder.)
Joey: I would, but this is a nice place and my T-shirt has a picture of Calvin doing Hobbs.
Sandy: I er... I hope you don't mind. I used some of my home-made lotion on Emma. It's a mixture of calendula and honey cream. It'll dry that rash right up. Plus... It keeps the hands young... (it makes Rachel smile)
Chandler: Well, why dont you check in one of my saddlebags while I chew on a bale of hay!
Chandler: Look, I just dont think Monica and I are ready to get married yet! Yknow? I mean, I love her and everything but seeing Ross and Rachel coming out of that chapel was like a, like a wake-up call that Monica and I are moving so fast. Yknow? And, how do I tell her without crushing her?
Ross: (pause) Ross? I... I grew up on your block! We had Thanksgiving together last year... I had a baby with your sister!
Phoebe: All I got was a lousy key chain! And by that time I was living in a box. I didn't have keys!
Chandler: I dunno what it is, it just doesnt quite feel like Christmas to me.
Rachel: No. Okay. I was at the airport, getting into a cab, when this woman- this blonde planet with a pocketbook- starts yelling at me. Something about how it was her cab first. And then the next thing I know she just starts- starts pulling me out by my hair! So I'm blowing my attack whistle thingy and three more cabs show up, and as I'm going to get into a cab she tackles me. And I hit my head on the kerb and cut my lip on my whistle...oh...everybody having fun at the party? (To Monica) Are people eating my dip?
ROSS: Ohhh. Big boy, riding the bus--Hey, I have a question. How come it says Property of Human Services on his butt?
Monica: Well, I said 'no' to her coming over now! I couldn’t say 'no' twice! I get this uncontrollable need to please people!
Ross: (to Rachel) Im really glad we came. (Rachel smiles and rubs his arm) Youre so pretty. I love you.
Monica: Well, if you're gonna be totally rational about this, I can't argue with you! All right? Fine, if you wanna tell him, tell him. I just don't want to be a part of it.
Joey: Wow! Maybe uh, maybe you and I ought to get to know each other a little better.
Ross: Hmm-Hmm-Hmm. (Putting his hand up to block his mouth.) Okay. I, uh, am from Long Island. I-I came to the city for college. Um, I, um, have a 5 year old son and in my spare time I like to read spy novels. But, but, lets talk more about you. Hmm.
MONICA: No, if he doesn't like our cookies, too bad, I am not gonna be blackmailed. Look if worse comes to worse, it gets a little warm, we'll call it a theme party.
Fake Monica: I-I used to be just like you. And then one day I saw a movie that changed my life. Did you ever see Dead Poets' Society?
Ross: Monica's right, swing dancing can be tricky. I'm gonna use the phone. I gotta cancel those five giant teddy bears I sent to Emily. (Looks at the rose mulch.) My God, think of the massacre.
Chandler: Sorry, I just cant sleep. Ooh! (Turns on the light and Monica groans.) Where is that book that you are reading with the two women who were ice-skating and wearing, wearing those hats with the flowers on it? Because every time I look at that cover Im like (Fake snores.)
Ross: Oh-oh, Rach! I was just messin around! (Shes stunned) Like you did last night when I had to pee?
Joey: Huh. What if I was sweeping a chimney?
Ross: (sees the chick) Ohhh, hey! All right, listen, I-I have that TV thing in like two hours, and I need your help, okay? What do you think? (takes out two suits) This blue suit, or this brown one?
Steve (staring at Rachel): I - I just have to say this; you're really beautiful.
Ross: Hey, I am not unemployed. Im on sabbatical!
Rachel: Okay, you are crazy! I'm sorry, but she sounded generally upset! I mean, listen! (She hits a button on the machine.)
Receptionist: I am sorry Mr. Bing, there's no record of your reservation in the computer.
Ross: Good, good. Yeah coz the more I thought about it, the more I realised I don't think marriage is neccessarily the right path for you.
Tommy: Ooh, I dont know. Probably the smell of freshly cut grass.
Mr. Geller: Well I dont know, I-I suppose we may have favored you unconsciously, you were a medical marvel! The doctor said your mother could
Joey: All rightoh! Listen, I know this is your party, but Id really like to the number of museum geeks that are gonna be there.
Ross: Yeah!!!! Yes, I made it! Im on time! (Grabs a bottle of water from a student, takes a drink, and splashes some on his face like the marathon runners do.) Okay, why dont we all uh, (Exhales loudly) open our books to page 23. Where (Exhales again) Where you will see a uh a bunch of uh red spots. Okay, (Closes his book.) umm, why dont, why dont you all start to read, while I(Passes out and collapses.)
Rachel: I am? Oh, look at that, yes I am. Enough about me, enough about me, Mr. Back from the Orient. Come on. I wanna hear everything! Everything. (Looks at Julie)
Ross: I gotta say, I have not had sex a lot of times before, this is the worst ever.
Joey: (sitting in a chair) Hey guys, so I just called the Powerball hotline, can you believe it? Nobody won.
Rachel: I don't know! I think it's kind of serious! Oh, you know... I was watching this thing on TV this morning about... Newcastle disease... and I think I might have it!!
Ross: Oh uh, I had trouble remembering everyones name, so I-I kinda came up with nicknames. Like the guy on the other side of you was Smelly von Brownshirt.
Rachel: Ok. You decorate dad's office and so now you're a decorator. Okay! I went to the zoo yesterday and now I'm a koala bear.
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, no. No, no, no, I just, I just need a pretend ticket.
Monica: Oh I love taking limos when nobody died!
Phoebe: Yes I did! Meet: Princess Consuela Banana Hammock! (She smiles from ear to ear)
Guy: Oh believe me, I-I-Ive been there. I had to sort mannequin heads at that Mannequins Plus.
Precious: Oh, my God, maybe you're right. Maybe I don't need him. I deserve to be treated with respect.
Ross: Well, fine. Fine! If-if Im the only person with any appreciation of the sanctity of the written word, Ill go up there and defend it myself! (Starts to do so, but stops and to the previous librarian) And dont you follow me!
Chandler: Well appealing as that does sound to her boyfriend (pause) and her brother, (the camera pans to Ross flashing Joey a very evil look; Joey gets scared) I cant do that we promised wed make each other gifts this year.
Phoebe: Oh, okay that explains it. I got a call at two in the morning, but all I could hear was, like, this high squeaky sound, so I thought okay its like a mouse or a opossum. But then I realized where would a mouse or a opossum get the money to make the phone call.
Ross: Yeah. Listen about that, the whole uh, who came on to who thing really doesnt matter. I mean, I think it wouldve happened either way. I mean if you hadnt initiated it I-I-I know I wouldve.
Chandler: Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-what-what if Martin Luther King had said that? (Imitating what his famous speech would sound like.) I kinda have a dream! I dont want to talk about it.
Luisa: I could... but I won't. If I find that monkey, he's mine. (Leaves)
RADIO: Uh, we've just gotten a call from Rachel, and she told us what Ross did. It's pretty appalling, and Ross, if you're listening, I don't wanna play your song anymore. Why don't we devote our time to a couple that stands a chance? Avery, Michelle's sorry she hit you with her car and she hopes you two will work it out.
Joey: Oh! Hey, somebody left their keys. (Looks at them) Ooohh, to a Porsche! {Transcribers note: Oh come on! Who would leave the keys to their Porsche behind? If I had a Porsche, Id have the keys surgically attached to my hand!} Hey Gunther, these yours?
Ross: And I'm fine never having heard it... (Rachel looks at Ross in a "why do you say that" manner) Rach, can I... can I see you for a sec?
Phoebe: Yeah, she came all the way back from Ross' building. Oh, the things she must have seen! And then she climbed up the fire escape and she tapped on the window with her teeny little paw and then we ran to let her in (Realizes, that Chandler starts to not believing her) I went to far, didn't I? When should I have stopped?
Ross: Okay, hey, that's okay with me. Two down and I have exactly twelve minutes.... Wha, my watch stopped. My watch. (shows Chandler) Okay, see, the, the dinosaur tail isn't going around any more. (grabs Chandler's watch) What time is it? It's 7:33, I have seven minutes. I have seven minutes!!
Shelley: (sheepish) Hey. Look, I'm sorry about yesterday, I, um-
Phoebe: (on phone) Hi! Yeah, Im calling on behalf of Monica Gellers eye, and is um, is Richard Burke in today. (Listens) (to Monica) Hes out of town, but does she want to see the on-call doctor?
Phoebe: No, no, I am against innocent trees being cut down in their prime, and their, their corpses grotesquely dressed in like tinsel and twinkly lights. (to Joey) Hey, how do you sleep at night?
Janice: Well umm, I thought I was going to go back to my apartment but then I just felt I couldnt really be alone tonight. (Joey walks into view of the open door behind Janice, sees her, gets a terrified look on his face, and flees in horror.) I was wondering if I could maybe stay here with you, just I really feel that I need to be with family.
Joey: Yeah-yeah, and if I get it by day Ill (In a sexy voice) Dr. Drake Remoray, but by night Ill be (In an announcers voice) Joey Trrrribbiani!
Ross: So honey this uh, this threesome thing umm, I mean how-how are you gonna start to find