words in movies
PHOEBE: I can see that. A plate of brownies once told me a limerick.
PHOEBE: Not especially. But you know what, I think they had pot in them.
JOEY: Uhhh, I don't think you're gonna like this.
JOEY: I can't believe it's Christmas already. Ya know, I mean, one day your eatin' turkey, the next thing ya know, your lords are a-leapin' and you geese are a-layin'.
ROSS: Hey Rach. I, uh, got you a little present. [Rachel is not impressed]. . I'll open it. It's a Slinky! Remember, huh. [sings] Walks down stairs, alone or in pairs, everyone knows it's. . . just a big spring. Alright, you still mad at me becuase of the whole. . .
ROSS: I got some, uh, hers and hers towels for Susan and Carol. And, uh, I got this blouse for mom.
MONICA: Look at these authentic fake medals. I tell ya, mom's gonna be voted best dressed at the make-believe military academy.
RACHEL: Phoebe, I thought your dad was in prison.
PHOEBE: No, that's my stepdad. My real dad's the one that ran out on us before I was born.
PHOEBE: It's not a blue screen... it's just, maybe it was just really clear that day. OK, I have to talk to my grandmother. [turns to leave]
PHOEBE: Um, gram, um, can I see the pictures of my dad again?
PHOEBE: OK, I smell smoke. Maybe that's 'cause someone's pants are on fire.
GRANDMOTHER: Look, I. . .
GRANDMOTHER: It was your mother's idea. Ya know, she didn't want you to know your real father because it hurt her so much when he left, and, I didn't want to go along with it, but, well then she died and, and it was harder to argue with her. Not impossible, but harder.
PHOEBE: Alright, so, what, he's not a famous tree surgeon? And then, I guess, OK, he doesn't live in a hut in Burma where there's no phones?
GRANDMOTHER: Last I heard, he was a pharmacist somewhere upstate.
GRANDMOTHER: Anyway, that's all I know. That, and this. [pulls apart a frame and pulls a picture out] This is the real him.
CHANDLER: Ya know I remember my father, all dressed up in the red suit, the big black boots, and the patent leather belt, sneakin around downstairs. He didn't want anybody to see him but he'd be drunk so he'd stumble, crash into something and wake everybody up.
MONICA: I hope she's OK.
JOEY: Yeah, I know exactly what she's goin' through.
RACHEL: Oh, by the way Mon, I don't think the mailman liked your cookies. Here are the ornaments your mom sent. [hands her a smashed box]
ROSS: Hey, Rach, you know what? I think, I think I know what'll make you feel better. How 'bout you make a list about me. RACHEL: Wha... forget it Ross, no, I am not gonna stand here and make a list of. . . ROSS: C'mon Rachel. RACHEL: OK, you're whiney, you are, you're obsessive, you are insecure, you're, you're gutless, you know, you don't ever, you don't just sort of seize the day, you know. You like me for what, a year, you didn't do anything about it. And, uh, oh, you wear too much of that gel in your hair. ROSS: See there, you uhh, alright, ya, you did what I said. RACHEL: Yeah, and you know what? You're right, I do feel better, thank you Ross. [she walks off and Ross puts his hand to his hair] [Scene: Back at Phoebe's. She is on the phone] PHOEBE: Yeah, um, in Albany, can I have the number of Frank Buffay. . . OK, um, in Ithica. . . alright, um, Saratoga. . . Oneonta. Alright, you know what, you shouldn't call youself information. [hangs up] [Phoebe's grandmother enters] GRANDMOTHER: Hey. PHOEBE: Hello grandma, if that is in fact your real name. GRANDMOTHER: C'mon now Phoe, don't still be mad at me. How's it going? PHOEBE: Well, not so good. Upstate's pretty big, he's pretty small, you do the math. GRANDMOTHER: Well, I think you're better off without him. Oh honey, I know he's your daddy but, but to me he's still the irresponsible creep who knocked up your mom and stole her Gremlin. PHOEBE: No I just, just wanted to know who he was, ya know. GRANDMOTHER: I know. OK, I wasn't completely honest with you when I told you that, uh, I didn't know exactly where he lived. PHOEBE: Whattaya mean? GRANDMOTHER: He lives at 74 Laurel Drive in Middletown. If you hit the Dairy Queen, you've gone too far. You can take my cab. PHOEBE: Wow. Thank you. GRANDMOTHER: Now, remember, nobody else drives that cab. PHOEBE: Uh-huh, got it. Ooh, I'm gonna see my dad. Wish me luck, Grandpa! [blows a kiss to a picture of Einstein]
CHANDLER: Hey, don't worry. I figure it'll be 2 hours to Phoebe's dad's house, they'll meet, they'll chat, they'll swap life stories, we'll still have plenty of time.
MONICA: For the sixteenth time, no... I do not think you're obsessive.
ROSS: No, no, I was turnin' the knob and, and. . . here it is.
ROSS: Oh, oh that's right, I forgot about your ability to fuse metal.
MONICA: No, if he doesn't like our cookies, too bad, I am not gonna be blackmailed. Look if worse comes to worse, it gets a little warm, we'll call it a theme party.
PHOEBE: OK, here I go. I'm goin' in.
PHOEBE: OK, here I go. . . here I go. . . I'm goin'. [she just sits in the cab]
ROSS: [sitting at table talking to a girl] It's hard to tell because I'm sweating, but I use exactly what the gel bottle says, an amount about the size of a pea. How, how can that be too much?
MONICA: Really? I'm perfectly comfortable. [one of the guest opens the refrigerator] Hey, hey, hey, get in line buddy, I was next. [she opens the refrigerator and leans into it]
MR. TREEGER: Ahh, is it hot? My body always stays cool, probably 'cause I have so much skin. Hey, cheese!
ROSS: Alright, alright, here's the chance. Monica give him cash, Rachel give him your earrings. Something, now, anything. MONICA: No, I will not cave. RACHEL: Yeah, I'm with Mon. ROSS: Alright, alright, you know how you say I never seize the day? Well, alright, even though he's your super, I'm seizing. [approaches Mr. Treeger] Mr. Treeger, here is 50 bucks, merry Christmas. [Gives him the cash.]
MR. TREEGER: Oh wow, I didn't get you anything. Here's five back.
MR. TREEGER: No can do, like I told the girl, I can't get a new knob until Thursday.
MR. TREEGER: No, the place is not open 'till Tuesday. Am I not saying it right.
MR. TREEGER: Ahh, if it was mistletoe, I was gonna kiss ya.
PHOEBE: Well, 'cause, I mean, what if, what if he's not this great dad guy? I mean, what if, what if he's just still the dirtbag who ran out on my mom and us? You know what? I've already lost a fake dad this week and I don't think I'm ready to lose a real one.
JOEY: Uh, listen Phoebs, I know you're not goin' in there but do you think it'd be alright if I went in and used his bathroom? Oh, that's fine, never mind. Cool, snow, kinda like a blank canvas.
JOEY: Really, hey, you mind if I turn the heat down?
PHOEBE: Oh, I couldn't go in.
PHOEBE: Yeah, yeah, no it's OK 'cause, I mean, I know he's there, so, that's enough for now.
JOEY: Hey, Monica, the knob was broken so I just turned it off from underneath, I hope that's alright.
RACHEL: Wiper blades. I don't even have a car.
PHOEBE: Ahh, toilet seat covers! Is that what you were doing while I was getting gas?
ROSS: Well this, this is too much, I feel like I should get you another sweater.
Phoebe: Oh, I should go, too. Oh, now... tomorrow do you guys wanna share a cab to the airport or should Mike and I just meet you there.
Chandler: All right! Thats fine! Thats fine! I wont bring over the chairs! I wont bring anything over! I wouldnt want to ruin the ambiance over here at Grandmas place!! (Storms out.)
Rachel: Well, first of all, Paulo and I are not back together. It was just a stupid thing I did, and if I could go back in time and do it again, well, I wouldn't. Um, second of all (Ross is laughing), what?
Monica: I guess, in time.
Joey: Chandler, I can't be playing games, Ross is gonna be home soon. And I have to write five whole pages if I'm gonna stick to his schedule.
Chandler: I wouldn't read too much into it.
Monica: I mean, my feelings for Richard are certainly gone.
David: I'm sorry, uh... I just wish I could make her forget about Mike already, you know... Why did Phoebe and Mike break up?
David: Sorry, I just... I wish there was something I could do, you know? Well, you know Phoebe...
David: Well, I was probably going to do it at some point.
Chandler: I didn't mean now...
Ross: (Excited) You're never going to guess who I just saw downstairs!
Charlie: I will if you will.
Joey: I wasn't gonna swim, I was gonna dig a hole! (removes a small plastic spade used by children to play on the beach from his backpack)
Monica: Im sorry. Im sorry. I-I should probably leave you girls alone. (She heads for the bedroom.)
Susan: (To Emily) Thanks for everything, I had such a great time.
Joey: Hey Pheebs! Listen, uh can you do me a favor? I forgot the pin number to my ATM card can, can you get it for me?
PHOEBE: Oh, this is so nice. Alright I have to make a speech. I just wanna say that of all the guys that Monica has been with, and that is a lot, I like you the best.
Monica: Wow! That Mike thing was interesting! I don't know what's gonna happen with Phoebe and David.
Joey: Oh no-no, no-no I love living with you. It just seems that if youre gonna have a roommate, yknow it might as well be the father.
Chandler: I did! A penis one! Look, just so I know, what was so wrong about what I said?
Ross: Wow, free crab cakes. Well, that's nice. Although I was hoping to have sex tonight.
David: Yeah, Rachel, Chandler, and Ross had to try to get a couch up a staira very narrow New York stairwell and that was probably I-I think it was the hardest Ive-Ive laughed in my life period.
Rachel: Yeah, I-I heard. (Pause, everyone looks at each other, waiting for Rachels reaction.) I think its great! (Hugs Ross.) Ohh, Im so happy for you!
Rachel: Not Joey, no, I was just lusting after Chandler.
Monica: (looking very serious) I need to talk to you.
Ross: What? Oh yeah. (He moves next to her head.) Im sorry. I mean I-I think I went a little crazy. I mean I was thinking about myself when I (Wanders towards Rachels feet) reallyI should have been thinking about you Rach
Chandler: Okay, listen, how far am I gonna have to go with her?
MONICA: MEG was good for me but I dumped her. Ya know, my motto is get out before they go down.
Roger: I don't know. Maybe maybe low self-esteem, maybe maybe to compensate for overshadowing a sibling, maybe you...
Chandler: (offended) What? (pause) May I?
Monica: Okay, I was thinking we should have a beautiful guest room, right? With a mahogany sleigh bed and bedside tables with flowers on them all the time! And we could have a roll top desk with comment cards on them so people could say how much they loved staying here!! Okay, whatever, I really havent thought about it that much.
Rachel: Wow, Ikea... what a rich culture. Uhm, you know what? I have a friend who is a masseuse.
Chandler: Someone I don't know sent me an e-mail and I opened it.
Rachel: Hi! Sorry to bother you, but I don't think we can accept your acceptance of our apology, it just doesn't really seem like you mean it.
Ross: NO! I don't!!
Chandler: Your computer, I don't know wha... everything's gone!
Ross: I don't think that your monologue from Star Wars is gonna help me right now, Joe!
Ross: Yeah, well you should! I mean, nude pictures of Anna Kournikova? I mean, she's never even won a major tournament!
Chandler: I just feel awful.
Monica: Ok, Mike, enough is enough, now you love Phoebe and she loves you, so you need to get over your whole "I never want to get married" thing and step up!
Joey: All right now remember, something this big and long is going to be difficult to manuver, fortunately I have a lot of experience in that area.
Rachel: Im fine! Im fine! Im just losing a tooth, its no big deal. I have a dentist! Yknow. Im gonna go put some ice on it. Excuse me. (She goes over to the ice and Joey and Monica follow her.) What do I do now? What do I do now?
Joey: Its London, baby! All right, the hotels here. (Points to the map.) Wait. No, we wanna go No. I know. (Sets the map down.) Im gonna have to go into the map. (So Joey literally steps into the map.)
Joey: Cut it out Ross! I hate to have to save your life and kick your ass in the same day!
Monica: (sarcastically) Well, I hope you're happy!
Chandler: (pretending not to sense the tone) Oooh! I hope you're happy too, honey!
CHANDLER: Yes, back then I, uh, used humor as a defense mechanism. Thank God I don't do that anymore.
Monica: No, I called him. It's not gonna happen.
Rachel: Honey, its not just a matter of where you put it. I mean a baby changes everything. They cry all the time. I mean imagine bringing home some girl and trying to score when theres a screaming baby around.
Phoebe: Yes! I do! All the time! I love them! Oh my God! I did it! Its me! Its me! I burned down the house! I burned down the house!
PHOEBE: I don't believe this. Is this how this relationship's gonna work? Ross equals boss. I mean, c'mon what is this, 1922?
Ross: Oh my God, I love you.
Janine: (muttering to herself) Or Ill hear you.
Ross: (shows Tag his sweater tag) Umm, I dont some Italian guy. Come on, read your own label. See you later.
Charlie: I know!
Phoebe: I dont know. I dont know. I cant lie to him again. Oh no Ino! Im just gonna press my breasts up against him.
Rachel: I know, that old lady at the end was ready to take you home.
Charlie: I didn't do that.
Phoebe: No! Because hes in love with the British chippy! Look, Rachel, if you go, youre just gonna mess with his head and ruin his wedding! Yknow, its too late! You missed youre chance! Im sorry, I know this must be really hard, its over.
Monica: It's some of Richard's hair! (holds it close to Ross) What do I do with this?
Ross: Look, I gotta go pick up Ben. Everything so far sounds great Joey, just remember to keep it on the mellow side, okay? Just a couple of guys hanging out playing poker, no-no strippers or anything okay?
Charlie: I had a great time.
CHANDLER: I'm sorry.� I, I told you I was in Tulsa because I wanted to spend the night with Monica and I, I didn't know . . .� I didn't think you'd understand.
Joey: Alright, hey look, and this isn't over, because I really wanna know who...
David: Uh, Phoebe, uh, I have... something I wanna say.
Monica: I can't believe she's gonna say yes to David. She's clearly in love with Mike.
Monica: Oh my God, he's gonna do it now. Please, I cannot watch this, let's go.
Joey: I hate my friends. (They shake on it as if they just made a pact) Alright, look. There's gotta be a way that we can stop this from happening.
Man: (to wife): Toby... Oh, for God's sake, I don't know what she's talking about! There's no Rachel! Don't give me that deep freeze.
Chandler: I know, that, (looks at her fake chest, and loses his train of thought, temporarily) that's why I don't want to go tonight, I'm afraid I'm going to say something stupid.
Mike: I have a question I need to ask you.
Mike: Yeah, I understand, but before you do, she really needs to hear this.
David: I have a question I was kinda gonna ask her myself.
David: Kinda stepped on the toes of what I was going to say.
Phoebe: I love you. But I never needed a proposal from you. I just needed to know that we were headed somewhere, you know, that we had a future.
David: I have a ring.
Joey: I met her at the library. I went in to pee.
Phoebe: Yeah, I might have said yes, but that would have been wrong.
David: Just so I know, if I had asked first...
Monica: Daddy! I dont think we need to hear about the specific positions you and mom had sex.
Mike: Is it ok if I hug you now?
Monica: I know (she snuggles to him)
Ross: Wait a minute! I saw that! On The Discovery Channel, yeah! About jellyfish and how if you... (Stops suddenly and turns to look at Monica) Ewwww!! You peed on yourself?!
Chandler: I thought we werent gonna have bachelor/bachelorette parties! Yknow, we agreed that it was a silly tradition.
Chandler: What are you talking about? The couch is perfectly in line with the carpet. And then I can just walk over here and casually just put my feet right up on the...(Tries to rest his feet on the coffee table but they won't reach) OK, OK, here's what we do, we just uh, move the couch closer to the coffee table.
Phoebe: When she comes out, you hold her nose, Ill blow in her mouth, and the kid will just (makes a popping sound) right out of her.
Rachel: (gasps) Oh my God! Listen to you talkin about having kids. Oh my Joey. (She goes over and hugs him.) Oh, please dont get married before I do.
Man with a bow tie: (shaking hands with Ross) I thought... it was wonderful!
CHANDLER: Can I uh see something? (Takes Ben. When he puts him close to Monica, Ben cries. When he moves Ben away, he stops crying.)
Rachel: Hey, now wait a minute! I get when you told people at first that you wanted to be an actor they laughed at you! Now come on Bobby, why dont you tell us a little bit about your band?
Rachel: He was a hamster! I am not going to vacuum up my baby!
Helena: (disappointed) I see. Well, I wish you both a lifetime of happiness. (To a bald guy.) So youre bald?
Chandler: I don't think so!
(Chandler turns to Mike and gives him a "See what I mean?" look)
Pete: Im sorry things didnt work out...
Rachel: I don't care about any of that!!
Charlie: I'm sorry, I can't! I'm running a discussion group all afternoon.
PHOEBE: [handing him the papers] Here you go. You know what, I just have one more question, um, if you had figured this out sooner and um, I had been around, do you think that I would have been the one who. . . no, um, I'm sorry, don't tell me, I don't th ink either answer would make me feel better.
Chandler: I need you to come to this bachelor party for my weird cousin Albert, y'know he's the botanist.