words in movies
PHOEBE: I can see that. A plate of brownies once told me a limerick.
PHOEBE: Not especially. But you know what, I think they had pot in them.
JOEY: Uhhh, I don't think you're gonna like this.
JOEY: I can't believe it's Christmas already. Ya know, I mean, one day your eatin' turkey, the next thing ya know, your lords are a-leapin' and you geese are a-layin'.
ROSS: Hey Rach. I, uh, got you a little present. [Rachel is not impressed]. . I'll open it. It's a Slinky! Remember, huh. [sings] Walks down stairs, alone or in pairs, everyone knows it's. . . just a big spring. Alright, you still mad at me becuase of the whole. . .
ROSS: I got some, uh, hers and hers towels for Susan and Carol. And, uh, I got this blouse for mom.
MONICA: Look at these authentic fake medals. I tell ya, mom's gonna be voted best dressed at the make-believe military academy.
RACHEL: Phoebe, I thought your dad was in prison.
PHOEBE: No, that's my stepdad. My real dad's the one that ran out on us before I was born.
PHOEBE: It's not a blue screen... it's just, maybe it was just really clear that day. OK, I have to talk to my grandmother. [turns to leave]
PHOEBE: Um, gram, um, can I see the pictures of my dad again?
PHOEBE: OK, I smell smoke. Maybe that's 'cause someone's pants are on fire.
GRANDMOTHER: Look, I. . .
GRANDMOTHER: It was your mother's idea. Ya know, she didn't want you to know your real father because it hurt her so much when he left, and, I didn't want to go along with it, but, well then she died and, and it was harder to argue with her. Not impossible, but harder.
PHOEBE: Alright, so, what, he's not a famous tree surgeon? And then, I guess, OK, he doesn't live in a hut in Burma where there's no phones?
GRANDMOTHER: Last I heard, he was a pharmacist somewhere upstate.
GRANDMOTHER: Anyway, that's all I know. That, and this. [pulls apart a frame and pulls a picture out] This is the real him.
CHANDLER: Ya know I remember my father, all dressed up in the red suit, the big black boots, and the patent leather belt, sneakin around downstairs. He didn't want anybody to see him but he'd be drunk so he'd stumble, crash into something and wake everybody up.
MONICA: I hope she's OK.
JOEY: Yeah, I know exactly what she's goin' through.
RACHEL: Oh, by the way Mon, I don't think the mailman liked your cookies. Here are the ornaments your mom sent. [hands her a smashed box]
ROSS: Hey, Rach, you know what? I think, I think I know what'll make you feel better. How 'bout you make a list about me. RACHEL: Wha... forget it Ross, no, I am not gonna stand here and make a list of. . . ROSS: C'mon Rachel. RACHEL: OK, you're whiney, you are, you're obsessive, you are insecure, you're, you're gutless, you know, you don't ever, you don't just sort of seize the day, you know. You like me for what, a year, you didn't do anything about it. And, uh, oh, you wear too much of that gel in your hair. ROSS: See there, you uhh, alright, ya, you did what I said. RACHEL: Yeah, and you know what? You're right, I do feel better, thank you Ross. [she walks off and Ross puts his hand to his hair] [Scene: Back at Phoebe's. She is on the phone] PHOEBE: Yeah, um, in Albany, can I have the number of Frank Buffay. . . OK, um, in Ithica. . . alright, um, Saratoga. . . Oneonta. Alright, you know what, you shouldn't call youself information. [hangs up] [Phoebe's grandmother enters] GRANDMOTHER: Hey. PHOEBE: Hello grandma, if that is in fact your real name. GRANDMOTHER: C'mon now Phoe, don't still be mad at me. How's it going? PHOEBE: Well, not so good. Upstate's pretty big, he's pretty small, you do the math. GRANDMOTHER: Well, I think you're better off without him. Oh honey, I know he's your daddy but, but to me he's still the irresponsible creep who knocked up your mom and stole her Gremlin. PHOEBE: No I just, just wanted to know who he was, ya know. GRANDMOTHER: I know. OK, I wasn't completely honest with you when I told you that, uh, I didn't know exactly where he lived. PHOEBE: Whattaya mean? GRANDMOTHER: He lives at 74 Laurel Drive in Middletown. If you hit the Dairy Queen, you've gone too far. You can take my cab. PHOEBE: Wow. Thank you. GRANDMOTHER: Now, remember, nobody else drives that cab. PHOEBE: Uh-huh, got it. Ooh, I'm gonna see my dad. Wish me luck, Grandpa! [blows a kiss to a picture of Einstein]
CHANDLER: Hey, don't worry. I figure it'll be 2 hours to Phoebe's dad's house, they'll meet, they'll chat, they'll swap life stories, we'll still have plenty of time.
MONICA: For the sixteenth time, no... I do not think you're obsessive.
ROSS: No, no, I was turnin' the knob and, and. . . here it is.
ROSS: Oh, oh that's right, I forgot about your ability to fuse metal.
MONICA: No, if he doesn't like our cookies, too bad, I am not gonna be blackmailed. Look if worse comes to worse, it gets a little warm, we'll call it a theme party.
PHOEBE: OK, here I go. I'm goin' in.
PHOEBE: OK, here I go. . . here I go. . . I'm goin'. [she just sits in the cab]
ROSS: [sitting at table talking to a girl] It's hard to tell because I'm sweating, but I use exactly what the gel bottle says, an amount about the size of a pea. How, how can that be too much?
MONICA: Really? I'm perfectly comfortable. [one of the guest opens the refrigerator] Hey, hey, hey, get in line buddy, I was next. [she opens the refrigerator and leans into it]
MR. TREEGER: Ahh, is it hot? My body always stays cool, probably 'cause I have so much skin. Hey, cheese!
ROSS: Alright, alright, here's the chance. Monica give him cash, Rachel give him your earrings. Something, now, anything. MONICA: No, I will not cave. RACHEL: Yeah, I'm with Mon. ROSS: Alright, alright, you know how you say I never seize the day? Well, alright, even though he's your super, I'm seizing. [approaches Mr. Treeger] Mr. Treeger, here is 50 bucks, merry Christmas. [Gives him the cash.]
MR. TREEGER: Oh wow, I didn't get you anything. Here's five back.
MR. TREEGER: No can do, like I told the girl, I can't get a new knob until Thursday.
MR. TREEGER: No, the place is not open 'till Tuesday. Am I not saying it right.
MR. TREEGER: Ahh, if it was mistletoe, I was gonna kiss ya.
PHOEBE: Well, 'cause, I mean, what if, what if he's not this great dad guy? I mean, what if, what if he's just still the dirtbag who ran out on my mom and us? You know what? I've already lost a fake dad this week and I don't think I'm ready to lose a real one.
JOEY: Uh, listen Phoebs, I know you're not goin' in there but do you think it'd be alright if I went in and used his bathroom? Oh, that's fine, never mind. Cool, snow, kinda like a blank canvas.
JOEY: Really, hey, you mind if I turn the heat down?
PHOEBE: Oh, I couldn't go in.
PHOEBE: Yeah, yeah, no it's OK 'cause, I mean, I know he's there, so, that's enough for now.
JOEY: Hey, Monica, the knob was broken so I just turned it off from underneath, I hope that's alright.
RACHEL: Wiper blades. I don't even have a car.
PHOEBE: Ahh, toilet seat covers! Is that what you were doing while I was getting gas?
ROSS: Well this, this is too much, I feel like I should get you another sweater.
Phoebe: Yeah I guess you're right. Yeah thanks. This helped. Thanks.
Gary: Well you're fingerprints were all over my badge so I just ran it through the computer and this was listed as your last known address so I just checked it out.
Ross: Yeah I just hurt it.
Chandler: Honey I... I love your breasts the way they are!
Ross: Ah no. I dont, but it could not have been more than sixty.
Rachel: Oh, Ive got big Valentines plans! Ive got my Chinese food on the way, and the rest of your saltwater taffy!
Monica: You know what Id love to do? I would like to go to France and eat nothing but bread and cheeseNot even bread, just cheese. No, I want the bread. Yeah. Ah, and pastries (Breathlessly) And pate. Oh, Im really not high, its just I used to be fat.
Monica: I thought I was something that we both wanted!
Monica: Joey, Chandler knows I borrowed the money.
Steve: Well then you can't have any. (she grabs for the package, and it breaks open. Gummi-bears fly everywhere, some into the punch bowl on the table.) Bear overboard! I think he's drowning. (he throws some Sugar-O's into the punch bowl) Hey fellows! Grab on a Sugar-O... save yourself! (Mimicking the bears) "Help! I'm drowning! Help!"
Ross: Well, I know the other day in the coffeehouse you were caught up in the whole soccer mom thing? but is that really you? I mean can you honestly picture yourself in a Volvo?
Ross: I don't know you'd be so bored with marriage. I mean it's so... normal.
Ross: Hey hey, can I help?
Waiter: Can I get you another glass of wine?
Phoebe: Right. Except that I do want to get married.
Mike: I want to live with you too! Let's do that!
Phoebe: Me neither. I think I need to be with someone who wants what I want.
Phoebe: I don't want it to end either.
Phoebe: Because I just didn't know how much I wanted it. And I love you, and I wanted to live with you.
Mike: But I don't want this to end.
Mike: Can we at least try living together? I mean you might change your mind about marriage.
Rachel: Oh really? So youre saying they just slid out of your bottom drawer, crawled across the floor, then jumped on to my desk?! (I think Dogbert should have a line here.)
RACHEL: Well, you have been in our lives for nearly two months now and we don't really know you. I mean, who is Julie? I mean, what do you like, what don't you like? We wanna hear everything.
Monica: Listen umm, I've been thinking, it's not fair for me to ask you to spend all of your money on our wedding. I mean, you work, you work really hard for that.
Ross: I think you made it clear you cannot be trusted with the ball inside the house!
Steve: I have such fat hands!
Phoebe: Breaking up sucks! Oh, I really miss Mike!
Rachel: Joey... are you sure? I mean, I know how much you love him!
Phoebe: Oh my god, Rachel asked me if I knew anyone for her too.
Monica: Okay, I got that. Ill escape over there. Ill come back over here. All right, come on Ms. Pac-Man. Its gotRight(She dies.) Well, youre just a little bitch, arent you?
Chandler: I believe I read that somewhere!
Chandler: I don't have a page.
Ross: You'd better hope not because I just read what you put on your page today.
Joey: Well, I heard Emma stirring, so I came to make sure she could reach Hugsy.
Chandler: No, no, no-no-no. I smoked for years, then I quit. Right now, I can�t remember why. (to everyone:) You�re not allowed to smoke in this office. Not right?
Chandler: Because I told everyone he slept with dinosaurs.
Rachel: Oh, youre one of those. But yknow what? I have two sisters of my own and we just-just tortured each other.
Cailin: I dont know. Could be because I dont feel like standing around all night waiting for some guy who may or may not scream.
Phoebe: God, I wish Mike were here.
Monica: Im Catwoman, who wants to borrow the dress when youre too big for it.
Jill: (entering, carrying a bunch of shopping bags) I just had the hardest day. Those bags are so heavy. (Sets them down.)
Ross: (yelling at Chandler) I have sex with dinosaurs??
Rachel: No Phoebe! You cannot get the phone that way; thats not fair! Okay look, I have an idea. Why dont we, why dont we see what kind of number he has on his speed dial, and then from that we can tell who has more in common with him. And then whoever does gets the phone.
Joey: Oh, no don't worry about that, I swallowed that years ago.
Rachel: Yeah, I think she wants the old one back.
Chandler: Okay, okay-okay, ah, Chloe works with that guy Issac. Issacs sister is Jasmine. And Jasmine works at that message place with Phoebe. And Phoebes friends with Rachel. And thats the trail, I did it!
Mike: Look, if I wanna see Phoebe and she wants to see...
Rachel: Ugh! Joey, I have to go.
Joey: (to the fireman) Hey buddy, do you think I can borrow your uniform this Thursday?
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe is speaking Italian to Joeys grandmother. Im spelling phonetically.]
Phoebe: I just like him so much that I just feel like Ive had 10 drinks today and Ive only had six.
Phoebe: I'm sorry, I broke down... I wanted to see him.
Mike: Oh! Sorry, I guess I was thrown off by the mention of my name!
Joey: Oh, hey, how about this one. Ah, its says so in the script! Y'know ah, I-I dont know why my character likes you either, I mean it says in the script here that youre a bitch.
Chandler: Okay. Thats better. Now I want you to both apologize to each other and mean it.
Ross: Uh-hmm, yeah-yeah do you like it? Do-do you looove it? I just want you to know that Im changing your grade back.
Chandler: I respectfully disagree.
Chandler: Right, I mean, come on, I'm sure that if you had a funeral or a memorial service, tons of people would come.
Ross: Posting that I died? That really isn't funny.
Gavin: I missed you at work today. How are you feeling?
Ross: Oh, wow! I should get going. I-I got a date tonight.
Joey: Ha-ha, very funnyLook! I dont know what to do! I really want you guys to get along. Just please come to the movie with us. I mean you owe me!
Monica: Okay well then, Ill fire him today and you go out with him for another week.
Joey: Look forget it forget it... I can't do it.
Mike: It's just my first marriage was, you know such a disaster. I kind of lost faith in the whole idea.
Joey: Ok, wait wait wait wait a minute wait a minute, I mean Rach, I mean if if... . If Hugsy means that much to Emma then... well she can have him.
Joey: How do you think I got him in the first place?
Phoebe: Oh, I missed you so much! (she kisses Mike)
Phoebe: I know, I want that too, but IS that going to make it too hard?
Joey: Hi! Im Dr. Drake Remoray and I have a few routine questions I need to ask you.
Monica: Didn't you hear that speech? If you don't kiss him then I will!
Monica: Hey, at least I knew where my guy was.
Monica: And I blame you too.
Manny: Oh we blew it. I blame myself.
Mike: My friend Manny. I asked him to keep me away from you.
Joey: Err...Well I...Know how much you used to make and I know how much your rent is. (shrugs)
ROSS: No. Man I don't wanna have to have Joey with me every time I wanna descent cup of coffee. Ya know, and I don't wanna spend the rest of my life drinking cappucino with a 'K'. I say you and I go back down there and stand up to those guys.
Monica: I look like a man??
Chandler: I didn't know Ross and you were so close.
Kori: I can't believe that Ross is gone. It is just so sad.
Ross: Yeah! I dont know. I mean, last year Elizabeth now-now this kid. What-what-what-what is it?! Am I giving out some kind of sexy professor vibe? (Rachel and Joey both look at him.)
Mike: Yeah, look, and I don't want you to feel like you have to give me your key just because...
Kori: I thought so many times about calling him and asking him out. I guess I really missed my chance.
Alice: Umm, actually, I came down to ask you a big favour.
Rachel: Well sure, if you say youre gonna take care of everything I have no reason to doubt you. Give me those forms! (Grabs them from him.) All right, now Im gonna do this my way and I dont want to hear a peep out of you!
Chandler: (spinning around looking for him) I dont think you did a very thorough job!
Chandler: Yeah, because if I was at my old job we'd say 300 million? No thank you!
Joey: I like those odds!
Rachel: Yeah me too. oh! I have an idea. Why don't we all pitch in 50 bucks, we'll pool our money together and then if we win, we'll split it!
Joey: I did?
Joey: (not yelling anymore)I was?
Hitchhiker: This is where I get off. Well, I have your address and phone number.
Chandler: Yeah I know.
Monica: Oh! I hate that guy! I mean come on kid! Pull up your pants!
Chandler: Yeah...I mean I want this so much! I mean, I wanna get one, I want my friend Charlie to get one...Except I don't care about Charlie.
Phoebe: I hope I win!
Joey: I can't tell you what I'm wishing for! Else...you know...won't come true!
Monica: No! (Pause) But, theyre callin out to me! I mean this little guy (Holds up a small one) even crawled up into my lap. Oh come on, Chandler wouldnt mind if I opened just one present! What do you think it is?
Mike: Oh, err... no, she's not here yet. You know, I think I'm just gonna take off and break up with her over the phone...
Joey: I won, hey!