words in movies
PHOEBE: I can see that. A plate of brownies once told me a limerick.
PHOEBE: Not especially. But you know what, I think they had pot in them.
JOEY: Uhhh, I don't think you're gonna like this.
JOEY: I can't believe it's Christmas already. Ya know, I mean, one day your eatin' turkey, the next thing ya know, your lords are a-leapin' and you geese are a-layin'.
ROSS: Hey Rach. I, uh, got you a little present. [Rachel is not impressed]. . I'll open it. It's a Slinky! Remember, huh. [sings] Walks down stairs, alone or in pairs, everyone knows it's. . . just a big spring. Alright, you still mad at me becuase of the whole. . .
ROSS: I got some, uh, hers and hers towels for Susan and Carol. And, uh, I got this blouse for mom.
MONICA: Look at these authentic fake medals. I tell ya, mom's gonna be voted best dressed at the make-believe military academy.
RACHEL: Phoebe, I thought your dad was in prison.
PHOEBE: No, that's my stepdad. My real dad's the one that ran out on us before I was born.
PHOEBE: It's not a blue screen... it's just, maybe it was just really clear that day. OK, I have to talk to my grandmother. [turns to leave]
PHOEBE: Um, gram, um, can I see the pictures of my dad again?
PHOEBE: OK, I smell smoke. Maybe that's 'cause someone's pants are on fire.
GRANDMOTHER: Look, I. . .
GRANDMOTHER: It was your mother's idea. Ya know, she didn't want you to know your real father because it hurt her so much when he left, and, I didn't want to go along with it, but, well then she died and, and it was harder to argue with her. Not impossible, but harder.
PHOEBE: Alright, so, what, he's not a famous tree surgeon? And then, I guess, OK, he doesn't live in a hut in Burma where there's no phones?
GRANDMOTHER: Last I heard, he was a pharmacist somewhere upstate.
GRANDMOTHER: Anyway, that's all I know. That, and this. [pulls apart a frame and pulls a picture out] This is the real him.
CHANDLER: Ya know I remember my father, all dressed up in the red suit, the big black boots, and the patent leather belt, sneakin around downstairs. He didn't want anybody to see him but he'd be drunk so he'd stumble, crash into something and wake everybody up.
MONICA: I hope she's OK.
JOEY: Yeah, I know exactly what she's goin' through.
RACHEL: Oh, by the way Mon, I don't think the mailman liked your cookies. Here are the ornaments your mom sent. [hands her a smashed box]
ROSS: Hey, Rach, you know what? I think, I think I know what'll make you feel better. How 'bout you make a list about me. RACHEL: Wha... forget it Ross, no, I am not gonna stand here and make a list of. . . ROSS: C'mon Rachel. RACHEL: OK, you're whiney, you are, you're obsessive, you are insecure, you're, you're gutless, you know, you don't ever, you don't just sort of seize the day, you know. You like me for what, a year, you didn't do anything about it. And, uh, oh, you wear too much of that gel in your hair. ROSS: See there, you uhh, alright, ya, you did what I said. RACHEL: Yeah, and you know what? You're right, I do feel better, thank you Ross. [she walks off and Ross puts his hand to his hair] [Scene: Back at Phoebe's. She is on the phone] PHOEBE: Yeah, um, in Albany, can I have the number of Frank Buffay. . . OK, um, in Ithica. . . alright, um, Saratoga. . . Oneonta. Alright, you know what, you shouldn't call youself information. [hangs up] [Phoebe's grandmother enters] GRANDMOTHER: Hey. PHOEBE: Hello grandma, if that is in fact your real name. GRANDMOTHER: C'mon now Phoe, don't still be mad at me. How's it going? PHOEBE: Well, not so good. Upstate's pretty big, he's pretty small, you do the math. GRANDMOTHER: Well, I think you're better off without him. Oh honey, I know he's your daddy but, but to me he's still the irresponsible creep who knocked up your mom and stole her Gremlin. PHOEBE: No I just, just wanted to know who he was, ya know. GRANDMOTHER: I know. OK, I wasn't completely honest with you when I told you that, uh, I didn't know exactly where he lived. PHOEBE: Whattaya mean? GRANDMOTHER: He lives at 74 Laurel Drive in Middletown. If you hit the Dairy Queen, you've gone too far. You can take my cab. PHOEBE: Wow. Thank you. GRANDMOTHER: Now, remember, nobody else drives that cab. PHOEBE: Uh-huh, got it. Ooh, I'm gonna see my dad. Wish me luck, Grandpa! [blows a kiss to a picture of Einstein]
CHANDLER: Hey, don't worry. I figure it'll be 2 hours to Phoebe's dad's house, they'll meet, they'll chat, they'll swap life stories, we'll still have plenty of time.
MONICA: For the sixteenth time, no... I do not think you're obsessive.
ROSS: No, no, I was turnin' the knob and, and. . . here it is.
ROSS: Oh, oh that's right, I forgot about your ability to fuse metal.
MONICA: No, if he doesn't like our cookies, too bad, I am not gonna be blackmailed. Look if worse comes to worse, it gets a little warm, we'll call it a theme party.
PHOEBE: OK, here I go. I'm goin' in.
PHOEBE: OK, here I go. . . here I go. . . I'm goin'. [she just sits in the cab]
ROSS: [sitting at table talking to a girl] It's hard to tell because I'm sweating, but I use exactly what the gel bottle says, an amount about the size of a pea. How, how can that be too much?
MONICA: Really? I'm perfectly comfortable. [one of the guest opens the refrigerator] Hey, hey, hey, get in line buddy, I was next. [she opens the refrigerator and leans into it]
MR. TREEGER: Ahh, is it hot? My body always stays cool, probably 'cause I have so much skin. Hey, cheese!
ROSS: Alright, alright, here's the chance. Monica give him cash, Rachel give him your earrings. Something, now, anything. MONICA: No, I will not cave. RACHEL: Yeah, I'm with Mon. ROSS: Alright, alright, you know how you say I never seize the day? Well, alright, even though he's your super, I'm seizing. [approaches Mr. Treeger] Mr. Treeger, here is 50 bucks, merry Christmas. [Gives him the cash.]
MR. TREEGER: Oh wow, I didn't get you anything. Here's five back.
MR. TREEGER: No can do, like I told the girl, I can't get a new knob until Thursday.
MR. TREEGER: No, the place is not open 'till Tuesday. Am I not saying it right.
MR. TREEGER: Ahh, if it was mistletoe, I was gonna kiss ya.
PHOEBE: Well, 'cause, I mean, what if, what if he's not this great dad guy? I mean, what if, what if he's just still the dirtbag who ran out on my mom and us? You know what? I've already lost a fake dad this week and I don't think I'm ready to lose a real one.
JOEY: Uh, listen Phoebs, I know you're not goin' in there but do you think it'd be alright if I went in and used his bathroom? Oh, that's fine, never mind. Cool, snow, kinda like a blank canvas.
JOEY: Really, hey, you mind if I turn the heat down?
PHOEBE: Oh, I couldn't go in.
PHOEBE: Yeah, yeah, no it's OK 'cause, I mean, I know he's there, so, that's enough for now.
JOEY: Hey, Monica, the knob was broken so I just turned it off from underneath, I hope that's alright.
RACHEL: Wiper blades. I don't even have a car.
PHOEBE: Ahh, toilet seat covers! Is that what you were doing while I was getting gas?
ROSS: Well this, this is too much, I feel like I should get you another sweater.
Monica: I promise. Hey, speaking of together, how about we send out a holiday card this year?
Ms. McKenna: Chandler, I
Joey: (looking in the Yellow Pages) Look, maybe I need to try a real teacher! Right here! Here! Andy Cooper, he teaches guitar and look ooh, there's a nice picture of him with a little kid and THE KID'S GOT A GUITAR!!!!!! (Storms out.)
Ross: I broke my thumb.
Ross: Ah, Rachel I guess.
Ross: Well, I thought so too, but then she said shed marry you.
Ross: I dont think that we are.
Ross: So I dont wanna be just anybody.
Rachel: Yeah, I guess. I-I I mean, do-do you think were ever gonna have that?
Joey: Ohh, well, thats ok then. But, okay my towels for instance. I come in to the bathroom here and my towel is not on the floor where keep it. Its up here on some hook..and smells different.
Phoebe: Alright, Ill try, fine! Yes, Okay!
Rachel: Well, I... you know, I-I-I don't know what to say... I mean, I never thought of you as a guy who needed his men to be men. You know, 'cause I gotta tell you Ross, it not like you just came in from branding cattle.
Phoebe: I have to go scream into a pillow. (Goes to scream into a pillow)
Rachel: I have to go to the bathroom. (Goes to the bathroom)
Monica: Okay Ill take her, here. (Takes Emma)
Monica: Yes I am!!
Monica: Yes I did, Im Monica, Super Aunt
Rachel: Okay so listen Im gonna go lay down.
Monica: See? Thats what I mean. I mean that, thats great! But I wouldnt trade in what I have for that. I mean Im gonna be with Chandler for the rest of my life, and thats what makes me happy. (Chandler approaches.) Hey sweetie, come here! Come sit down. Hey Phoebe and I were just talking about how our relationship is deep and meaningful. It really is dont you think?
Rachel: Thats your new job, day and night, she starts crying I need you here.
Rachel: You know what I really really want?
Rachel: I mean I got news for you mister, Emma? Not easy.
Ross: Ah I had a little thing with Joey, if you think this is bad you should see him.
Frank Sr.: Y'know, I don't think I want the lipstick that much. (Gets up to leave.) But umm Oh, would you do me a favor? And umm, would you, would you give Lilly that, please? (Hands her a note.)
Chandler: Of course, of course not. I just have to uh, go over to the place where I-I made it and pick-pick it up.
Rachel: Excuse me, can I, can I bum one of those? (He holds up his pack.) Y'know what, actually (She takes the one he's smoking and heads over to where Nancy and Kim are standing and laughing.) Okay, okay, okay, what's so funny over here?
Joey: No! No! I cant! You gotta get me out of it! Ive got plans! (Spits.) Important plans! (Spits on the Ps.)
Chandler: (without turning around) I thought you were gonna be gone all day.
Ross: No, no I dont want to do anything to you. All right? I just want to tell you that Im not mad at you and and that I certainly do not hate you. I just, I just came here to say that. (Starts to leave.)
Joey: I can't believe you guys are moving.
Phoebe: I call their apartment!!!
Ross: Rachel, I can see you dialing! I don't understand why...
Rachel: All right, I trust you. (Continues to dial)
Phoebe: You know, I might know somebody. Hey, how about you set me up with someone, and we double date!
Ross: Well, I tell you what. Why dont we uh, why dont we just stay here? Lets not see a movie, well just hang.
RACH: What? [looks, feigns indifference] C'mon you guys, I don't care, I have a date tonight.
Rachel: Well, why shouldnt I be? I have great friends! I have a wonderful job!
Monica: Why not?! I mean this has been the most amazing week. Would it be so terrible? Even if we were friends who lived together. Or, maybe someday friends who stood up in front of their other friends, and vowed to be friends forever.
Monica: No. I can't be away from you for that long.
Monica: I know! (They high-five.)
Monica: Listen uh, I-Ive been doing some thinking, and I dont know whether its because were here or Rachels giving birth but umm, I think we should try to have a baby.
Joey: Well, the reason I think Monica and Chandler are so great
Rachel: Umm, Im sorry. Do you-do you have a problem with me?
Ross: Rach, I told you, you can't call him every time any little thing comes up.
Phoebe: Ooh, great! Just the reaction I was hoping for.
Ross: N No! We took a cab too, but I did test runs!
Chandler: I know what she's talking about.
Mike: I am Mike.
Chandler: Authorization? I don't need that. I'm gonna put everything back.
Joey: Look, can I just stop you right there for a second? When people do this (Makes quote marks with his fingers.) I dont really know what that means. (Ross just looks at him) You were saying?
Joey: Hey and look he brought flowers. Thanks Ross, but Im really more of a candy guy. (Laughs.)
Monica: That I was going to eat him.
Mike: Yeah, we met in college. (Off Joey's look) I mean, high school.
RICHARD: I know, I know. Just hang in there, OK. OK, I'll go out first, alright.
Joey: Which is why I waited until now to introduce you to Mike.
Phoebe: Wow, that's great! I liked that better than the law thing, so...
Mike: Actually, I just gave up my practice.
Mrs. Green: and all those dinosaur nick-knacks you have Ross, I thought they might be more at home in the garage.
Amy: Okay, how about this, you guys die and the crazy plate lady dies, then do I get the baby?
Mike: No, I didn't.
Ross: Yeah well, he's not gonna get this one. Ben is way cuter than that kid. I mean look at him, look at you, (Starts to whine like a baby and Joey just glares at him.)
Rachel: Hi, my name is Rachel Green, I have an appointment for Emma.
Rachel: You should find out what his hobbies are and then use that to bond with him. Yeah! Like if I would strike up a conversation about say umm, sandwiches. Or uh, or my underwear.
Emily: I cant believe theyre doing that to him! I told them to go easy on him!
Joey: Because I forgot about our date, I'm so sorry.
Monica: You're right. (Pause) Maybe I shouldn't go.
Monica: It's okay. It's okay. Just pretend that it didn't happen! Okay? No one needs to know! I mean, Phoebe's not an official ballplayer! I mean, only official ballplayers can drop the ball!
Rachel: (entering, excitedly) Oh! Hi you guys, oh my God! Youll never gonna believe happened to me today! I am sitting in my office and
Ross: Listen, I um I heard about the engagement.
Chandler: I think you should take the job.
Joey: That's okay Mike, I have forgiven you. And now we're friends again everything's great!
Monica: I'm gonna miss this hand! Okay I know it's a lot to ask, but oh my God Chandler, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Rachel: Oh, I really liked him. (Looks at Ross) Yeah, it was really, really, really good.
Phoebe: Okay, so when youre done with your tea Ill look at your leaves and tell you your fortune.
Chandler: Okay, I have news. You don't have to move to Tulsa. You can stay here and keep your job.
Mike: My name in Mike, and I do play piano.
Ross: Well, yeah, of-of course Im okay! What? Im just being supportive. Supportive of you and this whole trip, and-and (notices something) what-what is uh, whats this? (He holds up a rather skimpy bathing suit.)
Mike: Do you think that maybe, sometime, I could...
Phoebe: You are really good! I play a little guitar myself.
Mike: Okay. Do you think maybe sometime I could take you out?
Rachel: Im not paying for half of that! Im only staying here until my apartment gets fixed.
Ross: Well, let's say, I don't know, you met someone in the pediatrician's office.
Ross: Yeah, that's how I know. I'm Ross by the way.
Janice: So? Congratulations you two, I didnt even know you got married.
Ross: I am a single parent.
Mrs. Green: Well, I kinda did. Me. Eight weeks of me.
Monica: I love you too. (They kiss)
Chandler: Of course I will call you. I love you.
Chandler: I know.
Monica: I love you so much.
Monica: I got it! (She hits a forehand smash that bounces right in between Doug and Kara and scores a point.)
Chandler: I know that too. (They kiss)
Joey: Huh. Okay. (Awkward silence.) So uh, I think Im gonna take off.
Monica: Can I talk now?
Ross: Now I cannot wait to see this.
Rachel: Thanks. (Crying) God this is so stupid! (Pause) How could I be upset over something I never had? Its negative?
Phoebe: I wouldn't say never, you know there's that guy (pause) well what about (pause) ok well there's gotta be someone.
Ross: Anyway it-it kinda-it all boils down to this, the last time I talked to Emily
Ross: Oh, no, no, no, I will! I just want to butter her up, first! You know, Im going to take her to an amazing Valentines dinner. Do all this romantic stuff, and then, just when she thinks Im the best boyfriend in the world, then Im going to tell her that my pregnant ex-girlfriend is living with me.
Phoebe: I wanna get married (grabs a tissue)