words in movies
JOEY: No, no, no.� When you get home tomorrow night, you and I are going to be at the Wizzards-Knicks game . . .� courtside!
MONICA: Really?� But tomorrow night is the only night I get off from the restaurant.� If you go to the game, we won't have a night together for another week.
MONICA: Chandler look, I don't want to be one of those wives who says, "You can't go to the game.� You have to spend time with me."� So, if you could just realize it on your own . . .
CHANDLER: I know.� You're right.� I want to see you too.� I've just got to figure out a way to tell Joey, you know?� He's really looking forward to this.
RACHEL: Well, I hope the ends of these sentences are good.
RACHEL: Yeah, yeah.� Phoebe and I are going to have so much fun.� And thank you for watching the baby, by the way.
ROSS: Oh, it's fine.� Actually, I, I invited Mike over.
RACHEL: I didn't know you guys hung out.
ROSS: We don't.� But I thought it would be nice to get to know him.� You know, maybe have a little dinner, drinks, conversation.
RACHEL: Oh that's so cute:� Ross and Mike's first date.� Is that going to be awkward?� I mean, what are you guys going to talk about?
ROSS: I don't know.� But, you know, we, we have a lot in common, you know.� He plays piano; I played keyboards in college.� He's been divorced; I have some experience in that area.
RACHEL: (to Ross) Ok.� So now, I think Emma is probably down for the night, but if you need anything Ross . . .
RACHEL: Okay.� You too.� And I hope you score.� (to Mike) Bye.
MIKE: (Holds up a six pack of Foster's Lager) I got beer.
ROSS: I got bottled breast milk.
ROSS: You know, I, I used to, ah, play keyboards in college.
MIKE: Yeah.� (pause)� Yeah, I'm sorry.� I don't . . . I don't really like to talk about it.
ROSS: Ah?� (Mike nods.� Another pause.)� Well, he and I would probably have a lot to talk about.
CHANDLER: See what I mean . . . (They kiss.)
CHANDLER: Because I didn't know how to tell him that I couldn't go to the Knicks game.� So, I just told him that I had to stay in Tulsa.
MONICA: Oh, because, um . . .� well, Chandler's going to be home in a couple of days.� So, I thought I would, you know, practice the art of seduction.
JOEY: Oh, I thought I heard a man's voice before.
MONICA: Oh I was just doing Chandler's side of the conversation.� You know, like, "Hi, How do I look?"� (As Chandler) "Really sexy.� Could I BE any more turned on?"
CHANDLER: Look I, I can't.� What's going on?
JOEY: I don't know how to tell you this but, uh . . . I think Monica's cheatin' on ya.� I told you shouldn't have married someone so much hotter than you.
JOEY: (outside the apartment door) I just heard him!
JOEY: I heard him again!
JOEY: Absolutely.� You'd do it for me.� Not that you ever have to because I know how to keep my women satisfied.
ROSS: Shouldn't the pizza be here by now?� I mean, they said thirty minutes or less.� Well, how long has it been?
ROSS: I do.� I do.� Although, it's actually a lager.
ROSS: I don't know.� We could look it up.
PHOEBE: I know.� (sighs)�� So, what's going on with you and Ross?
RACHEL: Well, um . . . I don't know.� I mean, for a long time nothing.� But you know, actually right before you picked me up, Ross and I had a . . . ah . . . little thing.
PHOEBE: Oh my God!� I love things.� What happened?
RACHEL: Well, um, first he told me he liked how I looked.� And, ah, then we had a little . . . um . . . eye-contact.
PHOEBE: I hope you were using protection.
RACHEL: Well, we're not here to meet guys.� You have a boyfriend, I have a b. . . baby and a Ross.
CHANDLER: Don't you think it's better for him to think that you're cheating on me, than for him to think that I'm cheating on him?� (Monica tips her head slightly as if asking "Did you hear yourself?")� I heard it.
MONICA: I don't want him to think that I'm having an affair.
CHANDLER: Hear me out woman.� I'll go down the fire escape.� Then, I'll wait for a while.� Then, when I come up the stairs, it'll be just like I just got back from Tulsa.� Then, Joey and I will come in and see that there's no guy in here.
MONICA: Aren't you afraid that Joey's going to figure all of this out?� (pause)� I heard it.
RACHEL: Oh my God.� I can't believe you live in that building.� My grandmother lives in that building.� Ida Green?� No sense of personal space?� Kind of smells like chicken?� Looks like a potato.
PHOEBE: Yeah. . . I'm sorry.� We weren't really looking for anything to happen with you guys.� I, I have a boyfriend.
KEVIN: All right. It's no big deal. BILL: So, she has a boyfriend. What is your situation? RACHEL: Oh, well, it's complicated. I don't actually have a boyfriend.� But um. . . BILL: Then, can I have your number? RACHEL: (pause) I'm sorry, no. BILL: Okay. (They start to walk away.) RACHEL: Oh sure.� (She pulls a business card from her purse and writes on it.) PHOEBE: (Reading the card.) Oh my God, you're giving your real number. BILL: Okay, thanks. I'll give you a call later tonight. RACHEL: Great. BILL: Bye PHOEBE: Bye. (The guys leave.) Wow. So, that's great. You, Bill, Ross, and Emma are going to be so happy together. What were you thinking?
RACHEL: I don't know.� He was cute, and he liked me.� It was an impulse.
RACHEL: No.� No, because I know exactly how the conversation's gonna go.� "Hey Ross, you know, I think we had a moment before."
RACHEL: (as herself) "Well, but I'm not sure I really want to do anything about it."
PHOEBE: Yeah, I see what you mean.� By the way, nice Ross imitation.
RACHEL: Well, the point is, maybe I should just stop waiting around for moments with Ross, you know?� I should just . . . move on with my life.
RACHEL: I don't know.� Do I have to decide right now?
RACHEL: Oh God, Ross.� Ross is going to pick up the phone.� Oh, I have to get my number back.� (She turns to find Bill, but they have gone.)� Oh my God.� He's gone.
PHOEBE: (imitating Rachel) "Oh, I have to get my number back.� Oh my God.� He's gone."� (smiles) Dead on.
MIKE: Uh, no.� I just left.
MIKE: I can't do that!
RACHEL: Oh give me , , ,� (Phoebe gives Rachel the phone.)� Hi, Mike?� Hi.� Listen.� I know this is a lot to ask, but you know what?� If you do this I . . . Phoebe will . . . do anything you want.� Seriously, I'm talking dirty stuff.
MIKE: Um, can I come back in?
MIKE: (Entering the apartment) I, I was just thinking about how much more we have to talk about.
JOEY: Wow!� That didn't take long.� I thought you said Tulsa was, like a three hour flight.
MONICA: (smiling) I arranged some pillows on the bed to look like a guy.
JOEY: (sniffing the air and then Monica.)� Why do I smell men's cologne?
MONICA: (sniffing Joey) I think that's you.
JOEY: (sniffs his shirt.)� Oh yeah.� I rubbed a magazine on myself earlier.
JOEY: I guess not.
MONICA: I can't believe you thought I was cheating.� (pointing at Joey) You own me an apology.
CHANDLER: (thinks, then turns to Monica) I climb down the fire escape and you can't put that in the closet?
ROSS: (takes the phone, but speaks to Mike) I don't understand what just happened here.
CHANDLER: I'm sorry.� I, I told you I was in Tulsa because I wanted to spend the night with Monica and I, I didn't know . . .� I didn't think you'd understand.
MONICA: I don't know what to say.� We shouldn't have lied to you.
CHANDLER: Yeah.� I feel so bad.� Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?
JOEY: (pause) Yeah, you could go to the game with me, ah, even though I know you said you couldn't.� But then you lied to me and tricked me and gave me a bump on the head.
CHANDLER: I'm sorry. �That's the one thing I can't do.� I promised I'd be with Monica.
MONICA: You should go to the game.� It's okay.� I want you to.
CHANDLER: Hey, listen.� I'm never going to lie to you again, okay?� And I want you to know that nobody thinks you're stupid.
MIKE: It's true.� I did.
PHOEBE: I know.� That was fun.� (She and Mike exit.)
RACHEL: Oh shoot.� I forgot to pay Phoebe for the drinks.� (She exits to the hallway and closes the door behind her.)� Wait, wait.� Sorry.� Did he call?� Did that guy call?
ROSS: Hello.� (listens)� Ah, no, she's not here right now.� Can I take a message?� (grabs a pad and pen)� Bill from the bar?� (writes)� Okay, "Bill from the bar."� I'll make sure she gets your number.
Estelle: (on the other end) Joe! Im glad I found ya, I got an audition for ya!
Joey: Uh so, will-will I be reading the same scene again?
Cassie: Im all done.
Ross: (to the panel) Look, Im sorry, but you guys are wrong. I just dont want to be divorced three times.
Rachel: Yeah Pheebs, honey, she just got engaged a couple of hours ago. I doubt shes even had time to
Ross: Well Im, Im a little slow. (To himself) Just as our children would be.
Rachel: No I wasnt! You were supposed to tell her to come and I was supposed to bring the cake!
Ross: Thanks you guys, I really appreciate this. All right, I'm gonna get packing again. Man, I've been moving around so much I'm beginning to feel like a nomad.
Monica: Im Monica Gellar. Who do you know the bride and groom?
Phoebe and Rachel: (to each other) I dont know.
Ross: This-this is crazy! I can do this! All right, uhh, I bet I can get all 50 before dinner.
Ross: Yeah, hey I-I have clothes, I even pick them out. I mean for, for all you know I could be a fashion..... monger.
Rachel: Hi! Yknow what honey, were actually out of candy right now. But someone just went out to get some and I have been giving out money but Im out of that too. Hey, can I write you a check?
Phoebe: Fine, Ill go call her.
Phoebe: Umm, when I get married will you be my maid of honor?
Rachel: All right listen umm, I just bought something I'm not sure she's gonna like it, and it's gonna seem a little crazy, but this is something that I wanted since I was a little girl.
Ross: Oh right. Right. Ooh, remember the time I uh, I pinned you down and tickled you til you cried? (She laughs) Were probably too old to do that now.
Joey: (to the camera) Hello, Im Joey Tribbiani! Lets play Bamboozled! Erin, you get the first question! In hockey, who is known as The Great One?
Rachel: Im fourth! (Joey is startled.) Look at you with your little maple syrup award!
Paul: No, unfortunately Lizzies mom passed away shortly after she was born. I raised her by myself.
Monica: You know, I know that things could still go wrong but if they don't? If this works out, we're gonna have a baby Chandler, a baby!
Joey: Rach we had to get out of there because, look what I won! (He whips out the award for Best Supporting Actress that he accepted for Jessica.)
The Director: Oh thats great! Okay, well Ive heard everything I need to hear. I just need to uh, Leslie
Erica: So, it's Monica and Chandler. I only know you as file 0W33815-D.
Chandler: Yeah, listen, how cold is it going to be there? Do I need a coat or will all these sweater vests be enough? (Holds up 3 of them in different colors.)
Rachel: Oh tomorrow, oh I dont know. Um
Chandler: This is so sad. I mean, I only have like ten pins.
Joey: (looking around) You got me. I dont
Joey: You should see the treatment I get when Im with that car! People are friendly; they-they wanna talk, and not just about the car! One guy gave me advice about my equity investments.
Chandler: Yknow I think we should invite them.
Rachel: Im Monicas maid of honor. Okay? Dont try to blue pin me!
Monica: I knew you didn't get a 1400!
Chandler: Ive been taking dancing lessons.
Joey: I dont think so.
Joey: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh . That-that-thats really just to show where the baby would go. Yknow why dont I hold on to him so that theres no confusion? (Takes him back, sets him on the chair, and apologizes to him.)
Rachel: Can I please be there when you tell her? (Joey nods yes.)
Phoebe: (laughs) Yeah, Im sure that happened.
Joey: Oh good! Can I tell her?! Can I tell her?!
Joey: (starts singing) I wanna rock and roll all night! (Falls asleep.)
RACHEL: Ok, you know what, lemme, let me just see what else I can do. All right, look, look. Why don't you just let her go on after Stephanie whatever-her-name-is. I mean, you won't even be here. You don't pay her. It's not gonna cost you anything.
Rachel: Hey, come on! I had this friend from college and I made the stupid mistake of telling Joey that one time she and I yknow kissed a little bit.
Rachel: Im not saying that Im a lesbian! Im just saying that this happened!
(Oh, I should point out that the live studio audience at this point goes absolutely wild. And I had absolutely no idea that this Will character was that popular! Maybe they should make him the seventh friend. Which would work out just fine since hes already married to one of them. Will is played by some guy named Brad Pitt, I guess hes some sort of actor.)
Joey: Well, she and I said from the beginning that we weren't gonna do anything unless you were okay with it. And clearly..
Phoebe: Okay! All right! Yeah! Cause I just cant picture it.
Ross: When I got married you slept with my sister.
Rachel: The earring? No. But look, I found my sunglasses under the couch! I've been looking for these since like last summer. (Puts 'em on.)
Chandler: Look, its my wedding day okay? If you were getting married I would never do anything to upset you.
Monica: Well, what am I going to say?
Rachel: Thats it? Well I saw that! Ohh-ohh-oh, thank you.
Rachel: I dont care, Im not going anywhere.
Joey: Okay, some tricks of the trade. Now, Ive never been able to cry as an actor, so if Im in a scene where I have to cry, I cut a hole in my pocket, take a pair of tweezers, and just start pulling. Or ah, or, lets say I wanna convey that Ive just done something evil. That would be the basic I have a fishhook in my eyebrow and I like it (Does it by raising one eyebrow, and showing off the pretend fishhook.) Okay, lets say Ive just gotten bad news, well all I do there is try and divide 232 by 13. (looks all confused) And thats how its done. Great soap opera acting tonight everybody, class dismissed.
Wayne: I spent two years developing this machine, its absolutely state of the art.
Chandler: Maybe I could give thanks by taking my Playstation over to my new apartment.
Melissa: Oh wow, Ray-ray I have no idea what youre talking about.
Ross: No, I missed and hit the door. But, it opened really hard!
Dr. Leedbetter: I-I'm sorry. I, I-I-I believe I ate that.
Joey: Right. Right. The wedding, gotcha. But I mean, its gonna start a little late right? I mean, weddings start late. Right?
Melissa: I dont know. I dont remember a lot of things that never happened.
Phoebe: I know.
Ross: Yes. I find it to be something of a conversation piece.
Ross: Well that stinks. I was looking forward to us wearing our celebrity tuxes together.
Ross: No! The guy is mean. I mean really mean. I think you should stay away from him.
Monica: A little tight? I could see double-oh and seven in those pants.
Joey: (entering) Hey! Uh, Monica? Chandler? Can I talk to you guys for a second?
Richard: Well yeah, Im sorry. I know this is the wrong time and the wrong place but I had to tell ya! I wanna spend my life with you. I wanna marry you. I wanna have kids with you.
Chandler: Hey, I'm sorry, I should have given you guys my black book when I got married! Although it wasn't so much a book as a... napkin. With Janice's phone number on it.
Rachel: It happened! I am telling you it happened!
Monica: You bought the beach house when I was 23!
Rachel: Im sorry!
Rachel: Look he doesnt have any brothers or sisters, somebodys gonna have to teach him this stuff! And I havent taught him anything that a normal 6-year-old doesnt know anyway!
Ross: Yes. Yes. Yes! Yes, I really do! In fact, it's funny, very often, someone who you wouldn't think could-could curl your toes, might just be the one who...
Phoebe: Okay, so Im done my part, okay. Its your responsibility now, okay. The burden is off me, right?
Melissa: Im sorry Ray-ray. I mean if I thought it happened I would say it. Maybe I passed out and you did stuff to me while I was sleeping.
Joey: Well I tell ya, I should probably buy a place in the city first. (Realizes.) And I just got what you meant againThat isI tell ya, that is a tricky one!
Rachel: Wow! I mean I had no idea that that was gonna
Phoebe: Ive had better.
Joey: It was amazing! And not just for her... uh-uh. For me, too. It's like, all of a sudden, I'm blind. But all my other senses are heightened, y'know? It's like... I was able to appreciate it on another level.
Phoebe: Of course! Yeah, I was uh, umm Thigh Mega Tampon.
Joey: Boy, it was so hard not to laugh, I tell ya. Hey, hey, the place looks great!
Rachel: I dont want to say.
Chandler: Oh, come on! I dont care! Come on! Whose is it?
Chandler: See, now, why would you assume that? Just because we're married? I will have you know that we are very hip, happening people. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to reading the obituaries.
Chandler: Do you happen to know what Im going to say?
Monica: No! But I know exactly what Im going to say.
Chandler: Im so pathetic! Monica knows what she wants to say! You shouldve seen her. Writing, writing, writing!
Chandler: (watching in her) (in his head) Look at her go! She must love me more than I love her! Whats wrong with me? Ooh, dont open that door.
Chandler: Well y'know, Monica and I were friends before we started dating. So maybe-maybe that's it?
Joey: Uh, hey, Rach let me ask you something. Uh, I was just over there talking to Monica and Chandler, boy they are really tight.
Phoebe: I dont know. You could tie her up, she could tie you up; you could eat stuff off each other
Joey: And I got custody of the kid, right? Now suppose the kid dies and-and I gotta buy a new kid.
Frannie: Are you kidding? I take credit for Paul. Y'know before me, there was no snap in his turtle for two years.
Chandler: Yeah, Im not sure I can do that.
Chandler: All right, theres a nuclear holocaust, Im the last man on Earth. Would you go out with me?
Chandler: (examining the cake) Okay well, this side looks bigger. Uh Theres more crust on this side. Yknow? So, maybe if I measured
Jessica Ashley: No, I try to save that for real awards. Now, if youll excuse me. (She exits.)
Joey: " when I look back over our time together "
Joey: Oh, I got it! How about saying something like, "Monica
Joey: Well, I cant do everything! Look back over your time together.
Joey: Uh well yeah, that was the plan, but by the time I got to it there was only a couple of pieces left!