words in movies
Monica: She doesn't have a stomach-ache. She's in labor!
[Scene: The delivery room at the hospital. Monica, Chandler and Erica are there. Erica is in labor, and she is breathing heavily.]
Monica: You'll be fine. Nah, you won't, but I'll be back in two minutes.
Chandler: Hah. May not wanna mention this. So, you ever wonder which is worse, you know; going through labor or getting kicked in the nuts?
Phoebe: Oh, this is like the best day ever. Ever! You guys might get back together, Monica and Chandler are getting their baby, there are chicks and ducks in the world again! Oh, I feel like I'm in a musical! (Singing) "Daa - raa... When the sun comes up, bright and beaming! And the moon comes..."
Erica: Uh-huh! I think it's time to kick you in the nuts and see which is worse!
Doctor: Well, you don't have that much time to relax. The other one will be along in a minute.
Monica: I... I'm sorry, who should be along in a what now?
Doctor: The next baby should be along in a minute.
Chandler: Oh, yeah! These are the faces of two people in the know!
Doctor: Yeah, it's here in the paperwork we got from the clinic in Ohio.
Erica: Twins actually run in my family.
Rachel: (touched) Gunther... Oh... I love you too. Probably not in the same way, but I do. And, and when I'm in a café, having coffee, or I see a man with hair brighter than the sun, I'll think of you. Aw.
Monica: Do you think they recognize each other from in there?
Chandler: Maybe. Unless they're like two people who have lived in apartments next to each other for years, and then one day they're pushed through a vagina and they meet.
(They start trying to trade babies while holding one each. They have no idea how to do it, so they just shift the babies around in their arms. They give up pretty quickly.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Joey and Phoebe are there. There is a white crib decorated with balloons in the middle of the apartment. Also, there are boxes all over the apartment. Joey is working on something on the coffee table.]
Joey: No, I sat in the paint.
Phoebe: How can you compare yourself to Gunther? I mean, sure, he's sexy in a more obvious way. You have a relationship with her, you slept together last night.
(He sits down in the wet paint again.)
Phoebe: No, you don't! She's going to Paris! She is going to meet somebody. Do you know how many hot guys there are in Paris? It's... It's a city of Gunthers!
(Mike enters with a roll of paper in his hand.)
Phoebe: Oh yeah? Well, tell me which one, and I'll try slip it in my coat.
[Scene: The street right in front of Central Perk. Phoebe's cab is there. Ross and Phoebe run over and jump in.]
Phoebe: Do you wanna get to Rachel in time?
Ross: Yes, but I don't wanna die in your cab!
Phoebe: You should have thought of that before you got in!
Phoebe: (screaming) Toll-booth! Four bucks. There are quarters in the glove compartment.
(They realise that the birds are in the foosball table.)
Joey: Oh! They're in the table!
(The ball rolls into one of the goals, and Chandler and Joey listen in horror as the ball makes its way inside the table. Finally, they can hear the birds again.)
Joey: All right, you know what? We don't have a choice. It's like I would have said in that sci-fi movie if I'd gotten the part. "Those are our men in there, we have to get them out! Even if I have to sacrifice the most important thing in my life; my time-machine."
[Scene: The airport. Ross and Phoebe run in.]
Ross: To talk to Rachel, isn't that why we took a ride in the death-cab?
Rachel: I have it, I have it, I have it. Oh, okay, I can't find it, but I remember that I was in seat 32C, because that's my bra-size.
Rachel: Okay, fine! But you know what? If I was in 36D, we would not be having this problem.
Rachel: Hah! I found it! I told you I would find it! In your face! You're a different person.
[Scene: The ticket-counter. Ross and Phoebe have their tickets and start looking at the screens in order to find the gate.]
(Phoebe picks up her cell-phone and calls Monica. Monica is still packing in her apartment.)
Ross: Phoebe, forget it, okay? Newark is - is like an hour away. There's no way we're gonna make it in time.
(She lets go of the steering wheel to get her cell-phone from her purse. Ross screams and reaches over in order to hold onto the wheel. Cut to the plane. Rachel is sitting in her seat when her cell-phone rings.)
(The passenger in the seat next to Rachel looks at her and seems a little nervous.)
Chandler: Aww, we were worried about you! Hm. I guess I better get used to things crapping in my hand, huh?
[Scene: The gate at the airport. The passengers are standing in line, and they're about to board the plane again.]
Gate attendant #2: Yes, the Philange is fixed. As a matter of fact, we put a whole lot of extra Philanges onboard, just in case.
Ross: Please, please stay with me. I am so in love with you. Please, don't go.
Monica: I put three lasagnas in your freezer.
Joey: So did you guys make it in time?
(Monica and Chandler put Jack and Erica in their stroller.)
Phoebe: Hey, do you realise that at one time or another we all lived in this apartment?
(They all leave the apartment. Joey helps Chandler with the stroller in the hallway, while Monica and Rachel have their arms around each other. Everybody walks downstairs to Central Perk. The camera goes inside the apartment again, and it pans around. We see the keys on the counter, and the final shot is of the frame around the peephole. The screen fades to black.)
Joey: Itll be great for next weekend. I mean, (in an Irish accent) itll be grrreat.
[later in the bathroom Monica is looking in the drawer, Rachel runs up]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is looking at her beeper still in the pot. She takes it out, shakes it, and puts it back in.]
(Phoebe runs in and joins her.)
[Monica jumps in the shower. Right after Mrs. Geller enters the bathroom, Mr. Geller peeks his head in.]
(As shes saying that Joey is to pull out a chair and sit down, only Matthew comes running in from off camera and dives for the same chair.)
[Scene: The rest stop, Phoebes pulling in.]
(Both Chandler and Monica walk away in disgust.)
Monica: You say Thank you very much, and then you buy me something pretty. Come on, were gonna put are hands in this bowl, and were gonna start squishing the tomatoes.
Rachel: (in triumph) I got a touchdown! We did it!!
Chandler: You gave them one day's notice, not everyone in our class checks the web site everyday and Monica... it's probably the way you stand!
Joey: Well, safer. Y'know, I mean I never start reading The Shining, without making sure weve got plenty of room in the freezer, y'know.
Gunther: Someone in here.
Rachel: Do you want to put the book in the freezer?
Monica: Yes! Yes! And I think that the first gift that Rachel opens should be from the grandmother of the baby, because youre the most important person in this room. And in the world!
Monica: Wow! Its like Rachel in High School.
Ross: (voiceover) So when she came in, I got distracted and totally forgot about the camera. [Cut back to the present day.] It kept rolling and recorded everything.
Phoebe: In your atlas!
Rachel: But ah, youre safe from it if its in the freezer?
[Scene: The Xerox place, Chandler and Joey are waiting in line.]
Sergei: (something in Russian or Polish)
RACHEL: No, was he any good in it?
Cheryl: (looking in the bag) Oh, thank god, it's not Mitzi. It's just a rat.
(The camera zooms in on Sarah and she has a big smile on her face.)
Mischa: (leaning in) Your eyes are very pretty.
Ross: (loudly so that everyone can hear) Hey lady! I don't care how much you want it! Okay?! I am not gonna to have sex with you in the bathroom! (Rachel sinks lower on her chair trying to hide.)
Phoebe: (rushing in) Okay. If youre alive you answer your phone!
Chandler: Oh God, it freaked me out. Okay, I know it shouldnt have, but it did. I mean I like her, I dont want to stop seeing her, but every so often its like Hey, y'know what, wheres your leg? I mean Im the smallest person in the world arent I? Im the smallest person in the world.
TRAINER: Hey don't take it personal, he's under a lot of pressure, ya know, starring in a movie and all.
Chandler: She was.... But y'know what, just in case, maybe we should come up with a set of ground rules.
Phoebe: Okay, this is what Im talking about, this. I-I need to live in a land where people can spill.
Phoebe: No, y'know what dont close it (Rachel slams the door shut locking themselves out.) cause the... keys...are in there.
Chandler: (to Rachel) You know what I just realized? We have no idea what we're doing in the wedding tomorrow.
Rachel: Well, I dont know. I called all the people in Monicas phone book and these are the only ones who could show up on 24 hours notice.
Joey: Hey, Pheebs! Check-check this out. (Holds up his hand in one of Phoebe's chords.)
Rachel: No. (Ross is standing in the doorway.) A break from us.
Laura: Oh, it's nothing. I went on a date with a guy who lived in this building and it didn't end very well.
Ross: No, no, no just do it. Go in there and pick something out so we can go.
Phoebe: Well, sure in a perfect world. But, no, I promised I wouldnt tell, and I swore to like all my gods.
Chandler: (Getting up and raising his fist in victory) Y-Y-YEEESSS! Make "groom" for Chandler.
Ross: Marcel is an illegal exotic animal. I'm not allowed to have him in the city. If they find him, they'll take him away from me.
Chandler: I'm sorry. Hey, at least you guys get to go home and be with your families tonight. I have to go back to an empty hotel room and lay down on a very questionable bedspread. And then tomorrow morning, you get to have Christmas morning in your own houses, wich, by the way, none of you have invited me to.
Monica: I have no moves. (He moves in to kiss her and she laughs and backs away.) Okay, whatcha doin there?! (Giggles.) Oh yknow what? Im sorry, this is just too weird.
Joey: Nothing, hes just really believes in that.
Phoebe: I don't know, I mean, he's a good person, and he can be really sweet, and in some ways I think he is so right for me, it's just... I hate that guy!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is lying in front of the bay window, and the phone rings.]
Phoebe: Umm, no, it's a purse. And there's a thermos in it.
(Monica walks in, starts to go out on the balcony.)
(Chandler agrees in an absolutely bored way.)
Rachel: Yeah, you know, was I looking forward to going to Paris? Sure. You know, was I excited about working in the fashion capital of the world? Ooh, absolutely... Oh...! Yeah, but you know, this is... it's fine. I'm fine going back to a job where I've pretty much gotten everything out of that I possibly can... (she sits down, and Ross who is stunned to hear all this follows her example)
Phoebe: They have the best stuff in there.
Rachel: I'm sorry. All right, I'll just stay in here this time. (Puts her head back.) Okay.
Joey: Hey, dont start judging me! (To Rachel) Huh? Youre the one whos in love with her assistant! (To Phoebe) Huh? And you, youre the one having the affair with the guy who keeps the pigeons on the roof!
Rachel: A mistake?! What were you trying to put it in? Her purse?!
Phoebe: Yep. Put more gas in.
Jason: ...and I know I'll never miss doing it, but I gotta tell you, it's pretty cool knowing that you're making a difference in a kid's life.
Joey: (screaming) Why God?!! Why?!! We had a deal!! Let the others grow old! Not me!! (He buries his head in Phoebes lap for comfort.)
Chandler: Now, Monica, you know that's not how you look for an engagement ring in a lasagne...
David: Yeah, Im just, Im just in town for a conference. Umm, God you look phenomenal!
[Scene: Ross's bedroom, Ross is working and Rachel is reading a book in bed]
MNCA: Chandler, I'm unemployed and in dire need of a project. Ya wanna work out? I can remake you.
Chandler: My boss said I might be getting a new lamp in my cubicle. (Monica looks at him and can't really place what he just said)
Chandler: I think this is probably why Damone smokes in his cell alone.
Joey: Shhh! This is a museum, no talking. Right down here, (Motions to a fossilised dinosaur foot.) we have a large foot. (Sees Ross working in one of the display cases.) Uhh, and over here we have Ross Geller. (Knocks on the glass) Everyone wave Hi to Ross. Ross is one of our most important scientists, look at him, hard at work. (Ross does the old "Putting a cigarette in your ear and pulling it out of your mouth trick.") Okay, moving right along. Come on.
Chandler: (to Monica) Actually hes the smallest person in the world.
Joey: Yeah, and not put us in the middle.
Dick Clark: (on TV) Hi, this is Dick Clark, live in Times Square. We're in a virtual snowstorm of confetti here in Times Square...
Gunther: (to Chandler) Oh, no-no, no-no-no, theres none of that in here.
Monica: Really. Well, at least 'big girls' don't pee in their pants in seventh grade!
Monica: I cant leave it! You gouged a hole in my dingy floor.
(Ross lets them both sit in his chair.)
Joey: (lying on a beach towel, recapping what happened in the last episode) Okay, so we went to the beach, because Phoebe found out about this lady who knew her mom and dad, and I dont really know what happened with that.
Alice: Uhh, we were just in the neighbourhood, so
Ross: OK. (closes eyes) I'm in my apartment...
Billy: Like when you go bowling and you know youre in somebody elses shoes?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Dr. Burke are sitting on the couch. He's showing her the pictures in his wallet.]
[Scene: Monica, Fun Bobby, and Phoebe sitting in Central Perk Rachel is serving them. She brings a mug to Monica.]
Chandler: Me too. I wanna find a baby that needs a home and I wanna raise it with you. And I wanna mess it up in our own specific way.
Phoebe: Okay. Whoa, sorry. Why were you just like all in the dark?
All: ...Hey! You're in a play! I didn't know you could dance! You had a beard!
Monica: (in the hallway) So, where do you want to go?
Alice: None the less. Umm, youre too young to, to really know what you want. (They embrace in a passionate kiss.)
(He bends over to pick them up, right in front of Rachel, who then gets a free peep show.)
Joey: (very satisfied and smiling) That's what I wanted to hear! Because she's family, ok, and now you're gonna be family, and there is nothing more important in the whole world, than family.
Joey: Wow! Theres a lot I didnt know about vomit. (The duck comes to the door of the bathroom, quacking.) (To the duck) In a minute. (The duck goes back into the bathroom.)
Ross: Yes, it was the trophy you got if you won the game. But our Dad said, nobody won that game, and he was sick of our fighting, so he took the trophy and.... (pauses to collect himself, as he is on the verge of tears saying this) threw it in the lake.
Phoebe: Oh, Joey! Oh, okay, see I didn't recognize you wearing, in those....pants.
Chandler: But you did like us. And you should. My wife's an incredible woman. She's loving and devoted and caring. And don't tell her I said this but the woman's always right... I love my wife more than anything in this world. And I... It kills me that I can't give her a baby... I really want a kid. And when that day finally comes, I'll learn how to be a good dad. But my wife... she's already there. She's a mother... without a baby... Please?
Ross: (He opens the door while faking a laugh.) Hey! Oh, we-we can't keep eating like this. (Monica turns her head in shame.)
Phoebe: Huh, well, the girls in the satin nighties on the commercial dont seem to think its that bad.
[Scene: A restaurant in Rome, Monica is paying for the pizza.]
Ross: Well, Im just saying, I mean why else would he just, y'know, swoop in out of nowhere for no reason.
Janice: Yeah, well, it scares me! I mean I not even divorced yet, Chandler. You know, you just invited me over here for pasta, and all of the sudden you're talking about moving in together. And, and I wasn't even that hungry. You know what, it's getting a little late, and I-I should just, um...(starts to leave)
Phoebe: (singing) I stepped in something icky.
(Gunther tries to swoop in to ask Rachel out.)
(An old West style showdown starts with Joey and the Hombre Man staring each other down as the store guy slowly lets in the first customer while Joey and the Hombre Man get ready to draw. In slow motion they spot the customer, eye each other, draw, and as the customer walks into the middle Joey's bottle misfires but the Hombre Man spays it into the customer's eyes.)
Phoebe: (On the phone, in New York) Uh, hello, this is Ross Gellers personal physician, Dr. Philange.
SUSIE: Oh, shoot, we gotta go, got a reservation in 30 minutes.
(Joey hands her the book and she puts it in the freezer.)
Janice: (Ross is still taking their photo) Oh, I'm gonna blow this one up, and I'm gonna write 'Reunited' in glitter.