words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is at the kitchen table and Chandler is in the living room.]
Monica: (handing him a pad of paper and a pen) Lets just do it right now. Okay? It wont be hard. Just say whats in your heart. (She goes back, sits down, and starts feverishly writing.)
Chandler: (watching in her) (in his head) Look at her go! She must love me more than I love her! Whats wrong with me? Ooh, dont open that door.
Rachel: Well, I like the pretty little drawing of you in the wedding dress.
[Flashback to when Chandler was introduced to Monica in The One With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks.]
Monica: Ooh, are we allowed to lie in the vows?!
[Flashback to The One With Phoebe's Uterus, Monica is teaching Chandler how to turn a woman on. They're in Monica and Rachel's apartment and Monica has just drawn a diagram of a woman.]
[This starts a series of flashbacks beginning with Monica and Chandler in the waiting room in The One With the Birth.]
Chandler: Dear God! This parachute is a knapsack! (throws himself over the back of the chair he was sitting in)
[Cut to Ross leaping into Chandlers Hotel room in London in The One With Rosss Wedding.]
[Cut to Chandler opening the door to his and Joeys apartment to reveal Monica standing there with a turkey on her head in The One With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks.]
(Joey walks in and sees Monica. He freaks out and runs back into the hallway, screaming.)
[Cut to Chandler trying to hint to Monica that he wanted to move in with her in The One After Vegas.]
[Cut to Chandler entering his and Monicas apartment alight with a thousand candles in The One With The Proposal.]
(He walks dejectedly into his apartment to find it lit with about a thousand candles and Monica standing in the living room.)
Monica: Chandler In all my life I never thought I would be so lucky. (Starting to cry.) As to fall in love with my best my best Theres a reason why girls dont do this!
Monica: Come in! Come in! (Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe burst through the door.) Were engaged!!!
Ross: I cant believe in four weeks theyre gonna be married!
Phoebe: Well lets just hope it works. Yknow nine out of ten marriages end in divorce?
[Flashback to Joey interrupting a bath Monica and Chandler are sharing in The One With All The Kissing. Monica dives underwater as Joey opens the door.]
Joey: Hey, it's me! I'm comin' in!
Chandler: Yeah, can I get a 3-piece, some cole slaw, some beans, and a Coke(Yelps in pain as Monica grabs him underwater)Diet Coke.
[This starts a series of flashbacks starting with Monica and Chandler forcing Joey to keep his new found knowledge of their secret relationship in Monicas bedroom in The One With All the Kips.]
Chandler: It happened in London.
Joey: IN LONDON!!!
[Cut to Rachel listening to a phone conversation between Chandler and Monica in The One With All the Resolutions.]
Chandler: (on phone) Laundry. Huh. Is that my new nickname? (Rachel is absolutely stunned, she opens her mouth in absolute amazement.)
[Cut to Phoebe in Rosss new apartment looking at Monica and Chandler and what theyre about to do in The One Where Everybody Finds Out.]
Phoebe: (Screaming incoherently.) Get in here!!! (Motions to join her and Rachel.)
(Ross starts jumping and screaming incoherently and hops over and joins in on the group hug.)
[Cut to later in that episode in Central Perk, a meeting with Phoebe, Rachel, and Joey where they discuss Chandler and Monica.]
[Cut to later in that episode. Rachel and Phoebe are going to a movie from Monica and Chandlers, and as Phoebe walks by Chandler she pinches him on the butt and exits.]
[Cut to later in that episode. Monica and Chandler are confronting Joey in his apartment about Phoebes knowledge.]
[Cut to later in that episode. Phoebe is telling Rachel in Monica and Chandlers that Chandler wants to make a date with Phoebe.]
[Cut to later in that episode. Chandler is in his bathroom with Monica, and hes panicking on how far Phoebe is pushing him.]
Rachel: Joey look, just look at it this way, the sooner Phoebe breaks Chandler the sooner this is all over and out in the open.
Chandler: Okay, give me a second! (Pause) Did you clean up in here?
(They slowly and hesitantly move their lips together and kiss gently. Phoebe has her eyes wide open in shock and Chandler is squinting. He finally breaks the kiss after only a short while and pushes Phoebe away.)
Chandler: Because I'm in love with Monica!!
Phoebe: I justI thought you guys were doing it, I didn't know you were in love!
[Cut to later in that episode. Ross is showing his boss his new place and notices something in the window.]
[Flashback to the gang in Central Perk in The One Where Nana Dies Twice, theyre all going through an old photo album.]
Monica: Oh, that's Nana, right there in the middle. (Reads the back) 'Me and the gang at Java Joe's'.
Joey: There’s a part in a TV movie that I would be perfect for and I didn’t even be put up for it! She’d better have a good reason.
Ross: Ironically, these are the guys who were picked last in gym.
Joey: Hey, dude, let me in. I got a girl out here!
Chandler: God!! (Sits down in disgust.) What am I gonna do?!
Monica: Oh!! (hits Chandler and Joey in the head) You guys knew about this and you didnt tell us?!
Ross: Oh no! That-thatll just bring me down! This was great! I mean I-I-I was great! This is a great day! Yknow what? Im buying everyone coffee. All right? If someone would just grab my wallet, its in my pocket.
Ross: And what(notices the stenographer is still typing)What are you typing that for? Did you hear what she said? We dont get the annulment. Dont type that! What?! Stop typing! (He goes over to where the stenographer is typing and in the process pushes Rachel out of his way.) Hey! Stop typing! (Hes still typing.) Stop typing! Stop typing!!
[Scene: Rachels office, Rachel and Sophie are sitting at their desks working as Joanna walks in.]
Monica: All right, Rachel's party is in a couple of hours and there's a lot to do. Now, Ross, you got Geller blood, you're in charge of these yahoos!
Chandler: Well, thats the best kiss Ive had with anyone Ive ever met in a mens room.
Rachel: (to the cowgirl) And you are so in style right now. Yknow, I work at Ralph Lauren and the whole fall line has got this like equestrian theme going on. I dont suppose you saw the cover of British Vogue, but
Phoebe: Oh okay, its P as in Phoebe, H as in hoebe, O as in oebe, E as in ebe, B as in bee-bee and E as in (In an Australian accent) Ello there mate!
Joey: Well, I figured were in another country, so it doesnt count.
(The door opens and Joey and Chandler ride in on the big, fake dog in triumph)
Sandy: Like in my last job, I met Daniel when he was three weeks old. And I got to watch him grow into this awesome person... When I left, I said: I'll see you soon... And he said to me: Skdandy... (Ross and Rachel look puzzled) That was his name for me... I'll see you every day... right in... (points at his heart, but starts to cry before he can finish his sentence. Rachel tries to comfort him, but Ross has this "you've got to be kidding me" look all over him)
Rachel: Nope! (She puts one in her mouth and spits it out, then does it again in another direction.)
Roy: Well, look - it's not my fault if you're too uptight to appreciate the male form in all it's glory.
Monica: (to Janine) Youd better hope I dont see you in the hallway!! (They exit.)
Phoebe: Wow, that sounds great! And what are you making Monica, in case Rachels dessert is...[about to say bad] so good that I eat all of it. Theres none left for anybody else!
Monica: Oh God, is it 6:30? Buzz him in!
Chandler: I dont know. (He picks the chick up and turns it over, trying to determine the sex of the chick, and blows on it.) I cant tell, what ever it was went back in too quickly.
Joey: Because... look, no one wants this to happen more than me, ok? (in a trembling voice) I have gone over this moment in my head a hundred times and not once did I ever say no! (sighs) I couldn't do it to Ross!
[Scene: The game show studio. Joey and Gene are sitting in the winner circle.]
MONICA: No. Um, I know you like this, and I want you to have it. I think it'll look good in our apartment.
Rachel: Ooh, is this one of those things where you throw it in a bag with some graveyard dirt and hang it from a north-facing tree?
Rachel: In the afternoon. Mr. Zelner came into my office after lunch. He put them on my desk, and then I put a Post-It on it (Looks down onto her desk and finds the folder with the Post-It on it that contains the contracts she imagined she gave Tag) that said, "Must go out today." So you just keep looking in there! All right?
Rachel: She wants to move in with me and Ross to help take care of the baby.
(Joey checks that Ross is not looking and dumps it in a plant.)
Rachel: I can see that. You look like you slept with a hanger in your mouth.
Ross: co-founded. Co-founded the club was because I was insanely in love with you. Obviously I didnt handle it very well. But if you think about it the I Hate Rachel Club was really the I Love Rachel Club.
Rachel: Oh wow. Are you in trouble.
Monica: Change! Okay, sit down. (Shows Paul in) Two seconds.
Charlie: I'm sorry, I have a really early class in the morning, but this has been lovely.
Kate: I cant believe we go on in, in a week.
(They exchange looks, smile, and shrug their shoulders before Ross suddenly lunges forward in an attempt to kiss her, but she expertly backs away.)
Rachel: Everything you need to know is in that first kiss.
Joshua: I invested in this night-club and its opening tonight, would you like to come?
Frannie: Are you kidding? I take credit for Paul. Y'know before me, there was no snap in his turtle for two years.
Kathy: Acting! Chandler, this is my job! Im-Im playing a part in a play! How can you not trust me?!
(He sits down in the wet paint again.)
Joey: I was with you the whole time we were in Connecticut, when did you even get those?
Rachel: I know I had it this morning, and I know I had it when I was in the kitchen with...
Chandler: Boys? We're going in.
Chandler: Yknow when we move in together, can I get a gumball machine?
Rachel: What are you talking about?! Mindy, the guy is the devil! He's Satan in a smock!
Monica: Come on, that was back in high school! How could that still bother you?
Monica: No Mom, I don't have a restaurant, I work in a restaurant.
Chandler: Okay, so if an eight comes up, we take it as a sign and we do it! {Whoa! Where have I heard that before? Matthew Perry talking about signs in Las Vegas. I guess it must've been some movie I saw.} What do you say?
Ross: Well, I was going to stick it in the ATM, but now I think Ill show the sexy teller that I am a published writer.
Chandler: Why are you in here if Joshua is all the way over there? (Points to the living room.)
(The duck starts to frantically flap his wings, while Joey is holding him, in an attempt to get away.)
ROSS: Remember when sometimes he'd borrow your hat, and, and when you got it back there'd be little monkey raisins in it.
Ross: ...How long was I in there?
Chandler: Y'know what, I know what will cheer you guys up! (he starts spreading envelopes among them) I had a little talk with the boys in New York, told 'em about all the hard work you've been doing and that a little Christmas bonus may be in order.
Rachel: Remember when we were in high school together?
Chandler: No-no-no-no, I've supported you one hundred percent and I want to prove that to you in person!
Barry: C'mon in.
Chandler: Kinda puts that whole pillow thing in perspective, huh, Mon?
Chandler: No, no, no... They're really yours. We... found them in your old room.
Ross: And in about five seconds youre gonna see why.
Ross: ...As in Mouse?
Rachel: Wow! Would I have seen you in anything?
Carol: As in my grandmother.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe's trying to teach Joey French, so she's sitting in front of him with the script in her hands.]
Ross: Look, I didn't lose my mind! Okay, Janice and I have a lot in common! We've-we've both been divorced. We-we both have kids.
Ross: No no no, she gets a credit, hey, I'm in there too.
Joey: Here's a little tip, she really likes it when you rub her neck in the same spot over and over and over again until it starts to get a little red.
Monica: And Nancy said that it's really under price, because the guy lost his job and has to move in with his parents!
Chandler: Joey and I can finish up in the guest room.
Phoebe: Sorry Frank, I'm kinda in the middle of the last favor you asked me to do.
Nurse: All right, all right, there's a few too many people in this room, and there's about to be one more, so anybody who's not an ex-husband or a lesbian life partner, out you go!
Ross: No, no, that's not where I was going. Er, if you get in the... way, of us becoming a thing, then I would be, well, very sad.
Phoebe: - and there's five hundred extra dollars in my account.
BIG BULLY: [walks back from the counter] Hey you're in our seats.
Joey: Well, I had the audition but Gunther said I had to stay here and be in charge so he could go get his hair dyed. So, I went anyway, and then he fired me.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are standing around in the kitchen.]
Phoebe: Yes, yes! Like the man in the shoe!
Ross: I have to talk to her about this groomsman situation, ok? I'm not gonna watch Chandler up there while I'm sitting in the seats like some chump! (he goes to Rachel's room, knocks the door and enters the room). (very fake gasp) Oh! My God! You're breathtaking!
Monica: (wiping her nose) I have not been sick in over three years! (Sneezes.)
Phoebe: Oh, theres a cab! Taxi!! (The cab stops and she opens the door.) Good timing, my God, huh? Here you go. (Pushes Rachel in and closes the door.)
Phoebe: Wow! This place is incredible! (Gasps) Stings pen that he gave to Phoebe. (Puts the pen in her purse and goes over to a floor-to-ceiling bookcase) Come on! Secret passageway! (Starts pulling books at random as Trudie enters.)
Monica: Cowboy boots? I've never worn cowboy boots in my whole life! (she turns on the video again)
FBOB: I needed to buy a hammer the other night, and I'm out walkin' around the neighborhood but apparently there are no hardware stores open past midnight in the Village.
Joey: (dragged in by Monica, he has just gotten out of the shower) What's going on?
Monica: I dont know how museums work in England but, here, youre not supposed to take stuff.
Monica: It's not ok to do it in a doctor's office but it is ok to do it in a parked car behind a Taco Bell?
Phoebe: I don't know. I haven't been out on a date in so long.
Ross: Monica said that did she? (He squeezes Monicas knee really hardly and Monica winces in pain.)
Joey: But I-I-I cant stay too long, I gotta get up early for a commercial audition tomorrow and I gotta look good. Im supposed to be playing a 19-year-old. (Everyone stops in their tracks upon hearing this.) What?
CHANDLER: [to an extra in fatigues] Nice camoflauge man, for a minute there I almost didn't see ya.
Phoebe: Ninety percent of a womens pheromones come out the top of her head! Thats why, thats why women are shorter. So that men will fall in love when they hug them! (Ross is staring at her dumbfounded.) Oh come on Ross, youre a scientist.
Monica: Wow, you worked in a mine?
Janine: No! Of course we can still hang out with them. Just yknow, not two nights in a row. Okay?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is packing her belongings to move to Rosss. Shes standing in the kitchen.]
Phoebe: Then Im gonna have to ask you to keep it down. (slams the door in his face.)
Chandler: (trying to stop Ross leaving) C'mon, Ross! You, me, Joey, ice, guys' night out, c'mon, whaddya say, big guy, (Pretending to punch him in the stomach.) Huh? Huh? Huh?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, they're all hanging out in the living room.]
Monica: Hey guys this stuff is just so way in the past. You-youve been through so much since then. And right now youve got so much more important stuff going on in your life. Cant you just let this go?
Monica: Wow, come in, have a seat. You must be exhausted coming all the way from Texas.
Ross: Yeah, but it didnt fit. Well, luckily theres a store here that has one left in her size, but Im the groom, Im not supposed to see the dress