words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is sitting in the living room as Monica enters.]
Monica: Oh no, was I cleaning in my sleep again?
Phoebe: Not great, but we can work on it at lunch. Okay, I can be at your apartment in two hours.
Rachel: Yeah, I cant live with Joey once the baby comes. I dont want my childs first words to be, (in a babys voice) "How you doin?"
Ross: Hey, yknow what and if youre looking for a place? I just heard in the elevator this morning that a woman in my building died.
Ross: Well I dont know, but how-how great would that be huh? You living in my building. I could help take care of the baby. I can come over whenever I want. (Rachel looks at him.) With your permission.
Ross: Hi. Im Ross Geller. I live in the building.
Ross: Of course! Uh yeah, she and I would talk all the time in-in (Rachel pokes her head in and starts to look around) the laundry room. (Pushes Rachel out of the way.)
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: You speak Dutch? (In Dutch) Zeer vereerd een vriend van mijn moeder te ontmoeten. (Translation: Im very honored to meet a friend of my mother.)
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: No, shes hanging in there.
Rachel: Hmm. Do you thinkCould you tell me if shes hanging in, in a one bedroom or a two?
Brenda: Ill be back in a minute.
Chandler: So she stole your pants and then she came back and wore them in front of you?
Monica: I will prove it to you! Okay? About a week ago I was wearing those jeans and I dropped a pen in my lap and it left an ink stain on the crotch. Now when she comes back I will find it and show you that stain!
Eric: Come in, Im so glad youre here.
Phoebe: Yeah, me too. Not in the shaky angry way you are though.
Ross: Ezel? Ezel? Ezel? (Looks it up in his book.)
Ross: (finds the word in the book) Ezel! (Reads the translation.) Hey Gunther! Youre an ezel!
(Brenda pulls a chair to the counter and uses it to get up on the counter in order to clean the top of the cabinets. Monica sneaks over, bends over, and tries to see the stain. That doesnt work so she sticks her head between Brendas legs. Suddenly Brenda changes her stance and traps Monicas head between her legs.)
Joey: No room? Its a baby. Its like this big. (Holds his hands about a foot apart.) Yknow, I mean you-you could you could put it over here. (A desk.) Or-or-or we could put it right here. (The chair.) Aw, its cute, right? Or-or we could put it over here. (By the bathroom door.) You wouldnt even notice it. Wheres the baby? (Mumbles that its over in the corner.)
Phoebe: No, I got in trouble for that before. Ill see you later.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Brenda is shaking out the rugs on the balcony as Monica pouts in the living room.]
Monica: Fine. (Brenda comes in to use the bathroom and adjusts her pink bra strap on the way.) Shes wearing my bra!
Monica: Did you not hear where my head was? Come on! Come on were a team! Were in this together!
Ross: (happily) Oh. (Realizes then sadly) Oh. Well I uh, I brought her some bloemen. (Flowers in Dutch.)
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: Thats so sweet. (Takes the flowers.) Would you like to come in and say good-bye? Im sure it would mean a lot to her.
Ross: All right then. (Follows her in and checks the place out.)
Eric: Uh, a little bit. She-she-she walked in and I thought she was you and I kissed her and
Joey: Hey! Uh, this is just to give you an idea. Okay well, we can put screens here, (In front of the crib.) so that the baby has privacy, and-and-and maybe a mobile over the crib. And uhOh look! Heres a baby monitor (Holds it up), which until the baby comes we can use as walkie-talkies. Huh?
Rachel: Youre so sweet. (Notices something in the crib.) Oh my God! And you gave the baby Hugsy! (A stuffed penguin wearing a ski jacket, goggles, and hat.)
Joey: Look, if Im bringing home a woman who cant stand being around a baby, then maybe I dont want to be with that woman! Or maybe well just do it in the bathroom of the club!
Rachel: Are you seriousReally?! Its in such good condition.
Roy: Well, look - it's not my fault if you're too uptight to appreciate the male form in all it's glory.
Monica: (to Janine) Youd better hope I dont see you in the hallway!! (They exit.)
Phoebe: Wow, that sounds great! And what are you making Monica, in case Rachels dessert is...[about to say bad] so good that I eat all of it. Theres none left for anybody else!
Monica: Oh God, is it 6:30? Buzz him in!
Chandler: I dont know. (He picks the chick up and turns it over, trying to determine the sex of the chick, and blows on it.) I cant tell, what ever it was went back in too quickly.
Joey: Because... look, no one wants this to happen more than me, ok? (in a trembling voice) I have gone over this moment in my head a hundred times and not once did I ever say no! (sighs) I couldn't do it to Ross!
[Scene: The game show studio. Joey and Gene are sitting in the winner circle.]
MONICA: No. Um, I know you like this, and I want you to have it. I think it'll look good in our apartment.
Rachel: Ooh, is this one of those things where you throw it in a bag with some graveyard dirt and hang it from a north-facing tree?
Rachel: In the afternoon. Mr. Zelner came into my office after lunch. He put them on my desk, and then I put a Post-It on it (Looks down onto her desk and finds the folder with the Post-It on it that contains the contracts she imagined she gave Tag) that said, "Must go out today." So you just keep looking in there! All right?
Rachel: She wants to move in with me and Ross to help take care of the baby.
(Joey checks that Ross is not looking and dumps it in a plant.)
Rachel: I can see that. You look like you slept with a hanger in your mouth.
Rachel: Joey look, just look at it this way, the sooner Phoebe breaks Chandler the sooner this is all over and out in the open.
Ross: co-founded. Co-founded the club was because I was insanely in love with you. Obviously I didnt handle it very well. But if you think about it the I Hate Rachel Club was really the I Love Rachel Club.
Rachel: Oh wow. Are you in trouble.
Monica: Change! Okay, sit down. (Shows Paul in) Two seconds.
Charlie: I'm sorry, I have a really early class in the morning, but this has been lovely.
Kate: I cant believe we go on in, in a week.
(They exchange looks, smile, and shrug their shoulders before Ross suddenly lunges forward in an attempt to kiss her, but she expertly backs away.)
Rachel: Everything you need to know is in that first kiss.
Joshua: I invested in this night-club and its opening tonight, would you like to come?
Frannie: Are you kidding? I take credit for Paul. Y'know before me, there was no snap in his turtle for two years.
Kathy: Acting! Chandler, this is my job! Im-Im playing a part in a play! How can you not trust me?!
(He sits down in the wet paint again.)
Joey: I was with you the whole time we were in Connecticut, when did you even get those?
Rachel: I know I had it this morning, and I know I had it when I was in the kitchen with...
Chandler: Boys? We're going in.
Chandler: Yknow when we move in together, can I get a gumball machine?
Rachel: What are you talking about?! Mindy, the guy is the devil! He's Satan in a smock!
Monica: Come on, that was back in high school! How could that still bother you?
Monica: No Mom, I don't have a restaurant, I work in a restaurant.
Chandler: Okay, so if an eight comes up, we take it as a sign and we do it! {Whoa! Where have I heard that before? Matthew Perry talking about signs in Las Vegas. I guess it must've been some movie I saw.} What do you say?
Ross: Well, I was going to stick it in the ATM, but now I think Ill show the sexy teller that I am a published writer.
Chandler: Why are you in here if Joshua is all the way over there? (Points to the living room.)
(The duck starts to frantically flap his wings, while Joey is holding him, in an attempt to get away.)
ROSS: Remember when sometimes he'd borrow your hat, and, and when you got it back there'd be little monkey raisins in it.
Ross: ...How long was I in there?
Chandler: Y'know what, I know what will cheer you guys up! (he starts spreading envelopes among them) I had a little talk with the boys in New York, told 'em about all the hard work you've been doing and that a little Christmas bonus may be in order.
Rachel: Remember when we were in high school together?
Chandler: No-no-no-no, I've supported you one hundred percent and I want to prove that to you in person!
Barry: C'mon in.
Chandler: Kinda puts that whole pillow thing in perspective, huh, Mon?
Chandler: No, no, no... They're really yours. We... found them in your old room.
Ross: And in about five seconds youre gonna see why.
Ross: ...As in Mouse?
Rachel: Wow! Would I have seen you in anything?
Carol: As in my grandmother.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe's trying to teach Joey French, so she's sitting in front of him with the script in her hands.]
Ross: Look, I didn't lose my mind! Okay, Janice and I have a lot in common! We've-we've both been divorced. We-we both have kids.
Ross: No no no, she gets a credit, hey, I'm in there too.
Joey: Here's a little tip, she really likes it when you rub her neck in the same spot over and over and over again until it starts to get a little red.
Monica: And Nancy said that it's really under price, because the guy lost his job and has to move in with his parents!
Chandler: Joey and I can finish up in the guest room.
Phoebe: Sorry Frank, I'm kinda in the middle of the last favor you asked me to do.
Nurse: All right, all right, there's a few too many people in this room, and there's about to be one more, so anybody who's not an ex-husband or a lesbian life partner, out you go!
Ross: No, no, that's not where I was going. Er, if you get in the... way, of us becoming a thing, then I would be, well, very sad.
Phoebe: - and there's five hundred extra dollars in my account.
BIG BULLY: [walks back from the counter] Hey you're in our seats.
Joey: Well, I had the audition but Gunther said I had to stay here and be in charge so he could go get his hair dyed. So, I went anyway, and then he fired me.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are standing around in the kitchen.]
Phoebe: Yes, yes! Like the man in the shoe!
Ross: I have to talk to her about this groomsman situation, ok? I'm not gonna watch Chandler up there while I'm sitting in the seats like some chump! (he goes to Rachel's room, knocks the door and enters the room). (very fake gasp) Oh! My God! You're breathtaking!
Monica: (wiping her nose) I have not been sick in over three years! (Sneezes.)
Phoebe: Oh, theres a cab! Taxi!! (The cab stops and she opens the door.) Good timing, my God, huh? Here you go. (Pushes Rachel in and closes the door.)
Phoebe: Wow! This place is incredible! (Gasps) Stings pen that he gave to Phoebe. (Puts the pen in her purse and goes over to a floor-to-ceiling bookcase) Come on! Secret passageway! (Starts pulling books at random as Trudie enters.)
Monica: Cowboy boots? I've never worn cowboy boots in my whole life! (she turns on the video again)
FBOB: I needed to buy a hammer the other night, and I'm out walkin' around the neighborhood but apparently there are no hardware stores open past midnight in the Village.
Joey: (dragged in by Monica, he has just gotten out of the shower) What's going on?
Monica: I dont know how museums work in England but, here, youre not supposed to take stuff.
Monica: It's not ok to do it in a doctor's office but it is ok to do it in a parked car behind a Taco Bell?
Phoebe: I don't know. I haven't been out on a date in so long.
Ross: Monica said that did she? (He squeezes Monicas knee really hardly and Monica winces in pain.)
Joey: But I-I-I cant stay too long, I gotta get up early for a commercial audition tomorrow and I gotta look good. Im supposed to be playing a 19-year-old. (Everyone stops in their tracks upon hearing this.) What?
CHANDLER: [to an extra in fatigues] Nice camoflauge man, for a minute there I almost didn't see ya.
Phoebe: Ninety percent of a womens pheromones come out the top of her head! Thats why, thats why women are shorter. So that men will fall in love when they hug them! (Ross is staring at her dumbfounded.) Oh come on Ross, youre a scientist.
Monica: Wow, you worked in a mine?
Janine: No! Of course we can still hang out with them. Just yknow, not two nights in a row. Okay?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is packing her belongings to move to Rosss. Shes standing in the kitchen.]
Phoebe: Then Im gonna have to ask you to keep it down. (slams the door in his face.)
Chandler: (trying to stop Ross leaving) C'mon, Ross! You, me, Joey, ice, guys' night out, c'mon, whaddya say, big guy, (Pretending to punch him in the stomach.) Huh? Huh? Huh?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, they're all hanging out in the living room.]
Monica: Hey guys this stuff is just so way in the past. You-youve been through so much since then. And right now youve got so much more important stuff going on in your life. Cant you just let this go?
Monica: Wow, come in, have a seat. You must be exhausted coming all the way from Texas.
Ross: Yeah, but it didnt fit. Well, luckily theres a store here that has one left in her size, but Im the groom, Im not supposed to see the dress
RACHEL: Alright, I feel that this is totally unjustified. [Monica starts making faces behind her back] She gave me the green light, I did nothing but-. Do you think I can't see you in the TV set?
Joanne: Look at you in the apron. You look like you're in a play.
Cecilia: No thats La Guardia. (Joey nods in recognition.) This is Mexico.
(He throws it back to Ross, but it's intercepted by Monica and the guys both scream in horror.)
(Joey walks in and sees Monica. He freaks out and runs back into the hallway, screaming.)
Ross: Listen, I-I need a favor. Umm, I was in the shower, and as I was cleansing myself, I ah, I-I, well I felt something.
Receptionist: Hey! Hey! No rough holding in my ER!
Monica: Okay. So you, me and London. Looking at people differently. Maybe he wants to do what you and I did in London with someone.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Time lapse. Jack is still on the couch, picking his teeth with his feet on the table. Phoebe and Judy are sitting on the table looking at him. Ross and Chandler are sitting by the window talking. Rachel and Joey are in the kitchen fooling with Rachels trifle. Monica walks into the living room from the kitchen.]
Rachel: Don't you have a laundry room in your building?
Phoebe: From the nursery rhyme. 'There was a crooked man, Who had a crooked smile, Who lived in a shoe, For a... while...'
Barry: (answering the intercom) Be right there. (To Robbie and Rachel) Be back in a sec.
Joey: Oh yeah, sure, no problem, Ill justhold on one second. (He turns around and puts his hand in his pants and groans in relief.) (In a relaxed voice.) "Hey Timmy, Ive got a surprise for you!"
(Janice and Phoebe's boyfriend, Tony, walk in.)
Doug: Oh yeah-yeah-yeah, yknow I did it and I felt a hell of a lot better and if you whip it just right you might hit a seagull in the head.