words in movies
RACH: No, actually first they started on my waist. And then, they slid up, and then, they were in my hair.
RTST: No, ma'am. Well, anyhoo, we should be getting our F.D.A. approval any day now, hopefully, in time for Thanksgiving. See, the way we look at it, chocolate already dominates most of your major food-preparation holidays: Easter, Christmas, what have you.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Ross is up in arms about the Rachel/Julie situation.]
CHAN: Ok, all right, look. Let's get logical about this, ok? We'll make a list. Rachel and Julie, pros and cons. Oh. We'll put their names in bold, with different fonts, and I can use different colors for each column.
ROSS: And I guess, you know, sometimes, she's a little ditzy, you know. And I've seen her be a little too into her looks. Oh, and Julie and I, we have a lot in common 'cause we're both paleontologists, but Rachel's just a waitress.
RACH: Oh my god, I can't believe you let me put this in my mouth.
CHAN: I'm telling you this thing won't print. Yes, I pressed that button like 100 times. You know, for a hot line you are not so hot. What? What is that in the background? Are you watching Star Trek?
CHAN: [in phone] So, Spock actually hugs his father?
[Ross walks back in, Rachel's coat in hand.]
RACH: And I'm in it? Then let me read it.
ROSS: That's it? That's all you wrote? You're the worst writer in the whole world.
CHAN: All right, Pheebs, back me up here, ok? You believe in that karma crap, don't you?
PHOE: Yeah, by the way, good luck in your next life as a dung beetle.
RACH: [coldly] When somebody does not buzz you in, Ross, that means go away. That doesn't mean please climb up the fire escape.
[He opens the window, Ross comes in, soaked.]
RACH: [near tears] No, you don't, Ross. Imagine the worst things you think about yourself. Now, how would you feel if the one person that you trusted the most in the world not only thinks them too, but actually uses them as reasons not to be with you.
ROSS: No, but, but I wanna be with you in spite of all those things.
[She closes the door in his face. Ross walks sullenly back to the couch and sits down. A moment of silence ensues.]
JOEY: [quietly] I never know how long you're supposed to wait in this type of a situation before you can talk again, you know? [Ross stares blankly at him] Maybe a little longer.
MNCA: Now, in some of these recipes, the quantities may seem just a little unusual, uh, like these coconut mockolate holiday nut bars. I've indicated four cups of coconut, and four cups of crushed nut, and only, uh, one tablespoon of mockolate.
RADIO: The next one's dedicated to Rachel from Ross. Rachel, he wants you to know he's deeply sorry for what he did and he hopes you can find it in your heart to forgive him. (With or Without You plays)
RTST: Hi, thanks for coming in again.
RTST: It's like I'm lookin' in a mirror. Anyway, they're called "fishtachios". They taste exactly like pistachios, but they're made primarily of reconstituted fish bits. Here, try one. You're not allergic to anything, are you?
Chandler: (to Joey) He has sex, and we get hit in our heads.
MR. GELLER: That's impossible, he's got a twinkie in the city.
Ross: (Bangs on the bathroom door) Emily? Emily? Im coming in. (He opens the door to reveal that the window is gone, along with Emily.)
Phoebe: (holding a card and waving it in front of her face) Hey you guys, look, the one-eyed jack follows me wherever I go. (they look at her) Right, OK, serious poker.
(She enters the apartment, leaving Dave in the hallway, to find Ross sitting on the couch with a big box.)
Rachel: Okay, but if it only happened that one time, how come we found your underwear in our apartment the other day?
Rachel: How do you know that? What if it just gets worse and worse and worse, to the point where we cant even be in the same room with each other?!
[Time lapse. Monica is wearing the dress and starring at herself in the mirror.]
[Scene: The Atlantis Resort, Chandler and Monica are arriving to check in, but are behind the couple from before again.]
Rachel: Are they in love?
Phoebe: Exactly! Because it's in the past!
Phoebe: Oh hey hi, hes doing it. Hes breaking down the door. (The chair breaks in half.) Okay, were in. (She hangs up the phone.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They're still in their chairs watching TV. Chandler is ordering a pizza.]
Emily: Well, you have to understand how humiliating it was for me up on that altar in front of my entire family, all my friends.
Phoebe: Yeah, you don't wanna live in Westchester. That's like the worst of the Chesters.
Rachel: Ohh please don't be from a real dinosaur! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! (She picks up the 2 pieces and looks at the stand.) Made in Mexico! Yes!! Ugh, who would buy this?! (Looks for a place to hide it and finds a wall sconce and drops the pieces into it and heads into the kitchen as the phone rings.)
Phoebe: Oh my God! You got off easy! When my friend Silvie's husband said someone else's name in bed, she cursed him and turned his thingy green.
Rachel: Joey, is what she just said ummOh my God. (Looks around the room.) You were actually gonna (Chandler picks this moment to return to the living room.) (Rachel stares in shock.)
Doctor: Yeah, it's here in the paperwork we got from the clinic in Ohio.
Chandler: (to Monica) (in a funny voice) Hi there. (Monica turns her head away in disgust)
Chandler: And err, he informed me that uh, she took the news rather badly, in fact, he uh, mentioned the word frenzy.
(Phoebe reels back in shock, while Ursula defiantly leans against the doorpost as though she owns the place.)
Ross: So Rachel called. Wants to see me. Going over in a minute.
[Scene: A park in London, Joey and Chandler walk up to a souvenir stand.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is in his sweats flinging playing cards into a pot.]
Conan: Matthew, you have a reputation with the rest of the cast that sometimes you like to, you like to fool around a bit. I mean like if somethings naturally going wrong you like to get in there and juice it a little bit. True or false?
Rachel: I have the best job in the entire world! The most adorable guy came over today, and I got to dress him up all day!
Ross: I'm having a baby in here! Ok, everyone stand back. (Walks backwards as if he is going to break down the door, but steps in a bucket and falls) Ow.
[Scene: An airplane cabin, Phoebe has the aisle seat, Chandler the window, and Monica's stuck in that horrible middle seat.]
Joey: Umm, listen, Ross do you really think this moving in with Rachel is a good idea?
Chandler: Look, for the first time in my life I'm in a real relationship. Okay, I'm not gonna screw that up by y'know, telling the truth.
Joey: (entering) Hey Rach! Hey, you mind if I read my comic books in here?
Phoebe: Well umm, okay we were in the market and she bent down to get some yogurt and she just never came back up again.
Joey: Yeah well, maybe you should go back! Okay? Rachel moves in, and before you know it youre right where you dont want to be! Back together!
Monica: Phoebe! But I could take one of those little feet and put it in a pita pocket.
Monica: (in a sexy voice) Come on. (Coughs loudly.)
Phoebe: Okay. Okay. IOkay umm this I-I sent my friend Joey in here to find out stuff about you. Umm yknow, if it helps you came off great. A lot better than Im coming off right now.
Chandler: Oh, okay, I have condom in my wallet that I've had since I was twelve.
(Joey walks in and looks around. He's trying to find a Mike for Phoebe)
Ross: (to Monica) You wanna wander in the hall? (to Ben) Ooh, hey Ben, what if the Holiday Armadillo told you all about the festival of lights?
Joey: I am telling you Ross, she is definitely gonna fall in love with you again! Now, is that what you want?
Phoebe: (seeing the look on Chandler's face) He-he does not like it! He hates it! He's in pain!
Joey: Look. (He walks out of the bathroom with his head stuck in a huge turkey.)
Monica: Look, I know that you're in a place right now where you really need to hate Julie's guts, but she didn't do anything wrong. I mean, she was just a girl who met a guy, and now they go out. I really think that if you gave her a chance, you'd like her. Would you just give that a chance, for me?
The Doctor: (coming in from surgery) Somebody lose a ring?
Ross: Well I, thats the thing, I dont know! I mean, whenever I brought it up with her she said, (In a British accent.) "This is so fantastic! Why do we have to talk about the future? Lets just enjoy "
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Brenda is shaking out the rugs on the balcony as Monica pouts in the living room.]
Joey: And thats Wednesday. (He reclines in his chair.) Ohh.
(Rachel brightly limps back across the apartment with glasses of wine for the cute doctors, leaving an open-mouthed Monica in her wake.)
Charlie: Well, if it's like the lake Mbosco in Congo, then M-B-O...
Joey: He knew we were trying to get rid of him. He knew! (Pause.) You think we could get a bathtub in our kitchen?
Phoebe: Oh yes. Yes. Yeahno. She did. She left you umm, (looking in her purse) this lipstick.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching TV as Joey and Kathy are laughing in Joey's bedroom. They get to be pretty loud so Chandler turns the TV way up.]
Chandler: Yknow what? Were not sad, were not sad, were just not 21 anymore. Yknow? Im 29 years old, damnit! And I want to sit in a comfortable chair, and watch television and go to bed at a reasonable hour!
(Monica puts some change in Phoebe's bucket.)
Phoebe: Lilly's dead. (He looks up in shock.)
(Rachel comes out from their apartment with a mirror and a lipstick in her hands)
Monica: Well, instead of being sad that tonight is my last night together with Rachel we thought wed go out to dinner and celebrate the fact that Rachel is moving in with Phoebe.
Elizabeth: Ross, umm, you've been in there for a long time. I'm starting to get kinda freaked out.
Rachel: Yeah! (Monica gives a sarcastic thumbs up) (Josh leaves) I am soo gonna marry that guy. (looking in her wallet) Ohhh!
JOEY: Naa, they said that when they found my body, my brain was so smashed in that the only doctor that could have saved me was me. Supposed to be some kind of irony or somethin.
Professore Clerk: Or we could throw you both in now!
Chandler and Phoebe: ...in you, my endless (Phoebe goes high pitched, Chandler goes low pitched) love. (they both look at each other.) My endless love. (once again they dont match tones, and they just look at each other)
Chandler: Come on in.
Ross: Oh no, no, no, wait, wait, Isabella. Dont, dont just dismiss this so fast. I mean this is a once in a lifetime opportunity...
Chandler: Oh, no, no, no, don't go! I've scared ya'! I've said too much! I'm hopeless, and awkward, and desperate for love!! (Janice leaves, Chandler then calls Janice to leave a message on her machine) Hey, Janice! It's me. Um, yeah, I-I-I just wanna apologize in advance for having chased you down the street. (runs out the door)
Ross: Huh. Well, good luck to Dad. Say, how many more boxes would you have to sell in order to win?
Fake Monica: You're kidding! I-I spent three years in Amsterdam. (Asks her something in Dutch)
Phoebe: I justI thought you guys were doing it, I didn't know you were in love!
Chandler: Because I'm in love with Monica!!
Young Ethan: Well it's somewhere in between. You see, in a strictly technical sense, of course, I'm not uh..., well I, I mean I haven't ever uh...
Rachel: Ugh! Get out! Get out! Go! Come on! (Ross gets up and heads for the kitchen.) No! Not in there! Hes in there! (She points Ross to the door next to the kitchen.)
Frank Sr.: All right. Well, y'know in my defense I was a lousy father.
Monica: In that cute, little, sweet way she just did?
Ross: Oh absolutely! It has been in my family for generations, and every bride who has worn it has had a long and happy life.
Ross: No-no, it's not that, it's just I-I just moved in.
Ross: So are you sure about this whole moving in thing?! I mean its a really big step! And-and whats the rush?!
Phoebe: You guys, um I know that this really doesn't have anything to do with me, but um I love you guys too. (Joins in on the hug.) Oh, I really needed that. (Goes and sits down.)
Monica: Well, Im gonna fill in for him as food critic for the Chelsea Reporter.
[Scene: A 747 somewhere over the North Atlantic, Monica and Chandler are sitting in first class, depressed.]
Joey: C'mon, you guys. This is a real movie, and Al Pacino's in it, and that's big!
(Monica enters, but she forgot something. Oh, about 150 pounds. In other words, she lost weight, big time!)
Carol: Listen, we both know youre gonna do it cause youre not a jerk. Okay? So you can either sulk here for a half hour and then go pick them up, or save us both time and sulk in the car.
Ross: You chipped in?!
Chandler: Arghhhhhh!! (Joey turns around to taunt him, but Chandler is in the doorway and Joey is facing the kitchen.)
Joey: (on the screen there's the word "Supermarket") Uhm... ok. It's a store, like a supermarket. (there is a sound indicating he made a mistake as he shouldn't have said 'supermarket'. The next word appears, "notebook") Oh! I see-I see what I did. Yeah, ok, ok, uhm... I'm writing in my...
Rachel: Alright. In high school I was the prom queen and I was the homecoming queen and the class president and you... were also there! But if you take this monkey, I will lose one of the most important people in my life. You can hate me if you want, but please do not punish him. C'mon, Luisa, you have a chance to be the bigger person here! Take it!
Rachel: Ohh, you're so sweet! (She kicks Katie in the shin.)
Ross: How weird is that? Yknow? Youre moving in with me and have the one thing I dont have. Its like uh, in a way you-you complete me (Phoebe glares at him) kitchen.
Alice: (running in from the elevator) Am I too late?!
Ross: Oh, Emily that is, that is so great. It's gonna be so great! We're gonna be like-like-like two idiots in love!
Joey: Thata girl! Huh? We should get out of here; theres a new class comin in.
(She looks at Rachel and storms out. After she's left Joey hugs Rachel in thanks.)
Joey: All right, I'll see you in the morning.
Phoebe: Yeah. Lets see, my had Mom killed herself, and my Dad had run off, and I was living in a Gremlin with a guy named Cindy who talked to his hand.
Gavin: I wasn't checking her out. I'm in fashion, I was looking at her skirt. Or was it pants? I didn't really see what happened below the ass area.
Chandler: (singing) The sunll come out tomorrow! Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow (The girls start laughing, and in a deep voice) therell be sun.
Monica: (screeching) OH! Oh, oh! (holding her hand in front of her mouth)
Rachel: Yeah, my mom got my dads season tickets in the divorce, so she just gave them to me.
Monica: (coming back to the stage and sitting next to Chandler) Okay, Ive got some Ones, you wanna put them in her panties?