words in movies
Phoebe: Its me. Its Phoebe. Listen theres something in here I want to eat, what-what smells so good?
Rachel: Well, Joshuas coming in tomorrow and since I dont have the guts to ask him out, Im going to sell him a coat and put this note in the pocket.
Monica: I dont know how museums work in England but, here, youre not supposed to take stuff.
Ross: Oh yeah, shes-shes amazing. And-and shes so much fun. And! Yknow what? When Im with her, Im fun! I even signed up for helicopter classes. (Chandler is shocked.) Shes leaving in two days, I dont have to do it.
Chandler: Yes, but in Rosss case, they both know in two weeks thats it.
Joshua: (coming in from a changing room) Okay!
Joshua: Man, I could really flash somebody in this thing. (He goes to put his hands in his pockets.)
Rachel: (stopping him) Oh no-no, no-no, they dont want you to put your hands in the pockets until you are out of the store.
Rachel: Well, thats because of a lot of (She imitates someone picking their nose and placing the treasure found in the pockets.)
Rachel: Oops, sorry. Listen, we-we have to have a party tonight! Actually, we have to have one in five minutes, so everybody cancel your plans.
[Cut to later, the party is in full swing. Rachel is in the kitchen and Chandler goes over to talk to her.]
Chandler: Why are you in here if Joshua is all the way over there? (Points to the living room.)
(She tries to demonstrate this unique ability, but only succeeds in choking on it.)
Joshua: You okay? (Rachel swallowed it whole and is not hacking like a heavy smoker in the morning.) You all right? (Rachel walks away, coughing.)
Ross: Yeah, but we-we have to be at the Four Seasons for drinks in 15 minutes and then yknow, then The Plaza for dinner.
Ross: Monica said that did she? (He squeezes Monicas knee really hardly and Monica winces in pain.)
[Cut to Joey and Phoebe in the kitchen. Phoebe is watching Joey make a sandwich.]
Joey: There was a seen in Footloose...
Joey: What? Were you like in the movie, or Anyway, she takes off her bra under her shirt and pulls it out the sleeve. Very sexy, and classy.
Monica: Two in a row! Youve got to use your tongues now! (They kiss again.)
(Rachel spins the bottle and it lands on .wait for it .Joshua. (You thought I was going to say Ross, didnt you?) Rachel squeals in delight and starts a slow sexy crawl over to Joshua, making sure he and everyone else watching gets a good look at her cleavage.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, it is later in the party. The Spin the Bottle game is over and Chandler is making a sandwich as Phoebe watches.]
Joey: Absolutely! I could be a vegetarian. Theres no meat in beer, right?
Rachel: What do you get? (She throws her pom-poms to Joey and Phoebe and performs a cartwheel.) Emily!! (Tries to do another one.) EmilWhoa!! (She falls in Chandlers room.) Okay! So thats me as a cheerleader! Ta-dum! (Gunthers the only one that claps.)
Rachel: Oh, yeah! Real fun. (She makes a decision.) Yknow, this bra Really, bothers me. (She starts taking off her bra.) Yknow, this used to be my bedroom. Yeah. A lot of memories in here, a lot of memories. If these walls could talk, yknow what theyd say? Wanna hear some memories? (She is now violently pulling on her bra in order to remove it, but it isnt co-operating.)
(She is still yanking on the bra, but it is stuck in her sleeve. Finally, she gives up.)
Ross: Thats okay. Shes still in there enjoying her fake party and uh, its too late to do any of the things I had planned, so
Rachel: Ross, that girl just spent the entire evening talking to your friends, asking to hear stories about you, looking through Monicas photo albums, I mean you dont do that if youre just in it for two weeks.
Rachel: Yeah, you got like 14 hours until she has to be at the airport, and youre sitting here in the hallway with a 28-year-old cheerleader with a fat lip.
Phoebe: Do you wanna get to Rachel in time?
Ross: Yes, but I don't wanna die in your cab!
Phoebe: You should have thought of that before you got in!
Joey: Oh! They're in the table!
[Scene: The airport. Ross and Phoebe run in.]
Rachel: Hah! I found it! I told you I would find it! In your face! You're a different person.
[Scene: Monica's apartment, Chandler walks in with a friend of his while Monica is putting fruit in a bowl.]
Ross: Please, please stay with me. I am so in love with you. Please, don't go.
Joey: So did you guys make it in time?
(Monica and Chandler put Jack and Erica in their stroller.)
Rachel: Oh, oh. (she's holding the present, a transparent bag with a white stick in it). What is this?
Waiter: Hah, sorry about the wait, but it is mega-jammed in here! We have a couple specials tonight
[Scene: Rachels bedroom; Rachel is awoken by a man singing in the next apartment.]
Chandler: Oh, you're definately not. I haven't cried like that in years.
Chandler: Well, I tried Billy Jean King, but... (Ross glares at him) you know, you and Monica have the same "I'm gonna kill you" look...? I can usually make it go away by kissing her... (Ross continues to glare at him and Chandler leans in as if he's going to kiss Ross)
Ross: (to Rachel) Haha! Looks like you're not going to be in the wedding either. (Looks at Phoebe) So sorry Pheebs.
Phoebe: Popes in a Volkswagen! ...I love that joke.
Monica: See? Thats what I mean. I mean that, thats great! But I wouldnt trade in what I have for that. I mean Im gonna be with Chandler for the rest of my life, and thats what makes me happy. (Chandler approaches.) Hey sweetie, come here! Come sit down. Hey Phoebe and I were just talking about how our relationship is deep and meaningful. It really is dont you think?
(Monica talks loudly in the baby's room)
Monica: Okay, fine. Let's talk about snow. -- Do you think it's snowing in Tulsa, where my husband is having sex on a copying machine?
MR. BOYLE: All right, kids. Here's the deal. According to my client's will, he wants to leave all his earthly possessions to "the noisy girls in the apartment above mine".
Matt: Yeah, shes trying to waft the smell across the hall to get us to come hang out in her new place, and were sitting there eating pizza and I think it was you (Points to Lisa) that said
Tour Guide: Oh, he wont sit here. Only the people in the white coats sit over there, (Points to there table) and only the people in the blue blazers sit here.
Phoebe: Okay! (Runs that way and hears another whistle blast.) Hey! (Heads the other way and hears another blast.) What do I do?!! (She runs in the second direction and finds that the whistling is coming from inside a rack. She moves the dresses out of the way to find Rachel curled up in a fetal position frantically blowing on the whistle.) What are you doing? (Rachel doesnt stop.) Did you find the dress? (Rachel wont stop so Phoebe pinches her nose shut which causes her to spit the whistle out.)
Rachel: Come on Joey, I just bought you a new chair! The most expensive one in the store! Hey, yknow what I was thinking? We could name her Francette.
Joey: Well thats true. And I am only naked in one scene. Plus it sounds really great. My characters catholic and he falls in love with this Jewish girl. Who run away together and they get caught in this big rainstorm. So we go into this barn and undress each other and hold each other. Its really sweet and-and tender.
Emily: Oh, no-no-no, thats not rude! Its perfectly in keeping with a trip that Ive already been run down by one of your wiener carts, and been strip-searched at John F. Kennedy Airport, apparently to you people, I look like someone whos got a balloon full of cocaine stuffed up their bum.
Ross: And that should conclusively prove that I had the idea for Jurassic Park first! Now lets take a look at (Phoebe rushes in.)
Mike: You can't keep a rat in your appartment! They're extremely unsanitary, and they transmit leptospirosis and hantavirus.
Rachel: Well, I guess that's all in the past, now.
Ross: Only when it was damp!! (To Rachel) I cant believe you-you told people about this?! Everybody knew?! Yknow what? (To Will) Im back in the club!
Rachel: (entering) Hi! Im so sorry to barge in on your Valentines, but I had to get away from all the yelling. Mona is dumping Ross.
Chandler: Really? Struck down in the pribe of libe!
Chandler: Well, whatever it is, I hope it involves winking. (Winks in a spy-type manner.)
Mrs. Burkart: (singing) You're a grand ol' flag, you're a high-flying flag, and forever in peace may you wave....
Rachel: Wow, a Swedish massage from a real Swedish person. (Puts her head in the hole and Phoebe enters)
Chandler: Really? Then what are they doing in our guestroom?
Phoebe: Obviously I didn't think they were gonna start throwing things. I just thought if I kept insulting everyone, you would jump in and defend everyone and then you could look like the hero.
Chandler: (with his arm all the way under the cushion, moving it around) This reminds me of a very specific part of the tape. (Chandler puts the tape in, and they all sit down) Okay, here we go.
Chandler: Would you all stop yelling in our apartment! You are ruining moving day for us!
Joey: Oh yeah! I got in there myself once. My roommate bet me five bucks that I couldnt, and then he stuck a board through the handles that locked me in. Yeah. It was funny til I started feeling like I was in a coffin.
Earl: Well I only have one thing to do today. (He looks at his board in his office that reads, "Todays Tasks: KILL SELF.") I guess I could push it back.
Joey: (entering from the elevator caring gifts for the kids) Hey, you guys! Look what I found in the giiiiiiift shop. (He doubles over in pain in front an old man in a wheel chair.) Get up! Get up! Get up! (The old man waves him away.)
CHANDLER: By the way, this didn't seem so dorky in the hall.
Phoebe: Until then, General Grant, why dont you set up camp (She puts the bill in her bra) right there.
Rachel: (on the phone) No, no, no, Im looking at a purchase order right here and it clearly states that we ordered the Rivera bikini in a variety of sizes and colours. And.... (listens) What does it matter, what Im wearing?! Can I please speak to your supervisor? (listens) Thank you. (to Sophie) Were holding.
Ross: Oh, that's right! (to Emma) Daddy and uncle Joey are going on a trip today. We're going to a conference in Barbados, right?
Ross: Not just a key, I gave her the only key! I am now a homeless person in a very serious relationship.
(He walks dejectedly into his apartment to find it lit with about a thousand candles and Monica standing in the living room.)
Mike: Hey! You made it. Great! Chappy! Hi! (kisses his dad) Hi! (kisses his mom) Mom, I know getting married in the street isn't something you approve of...
Dr. Harad: Just-just to clarify, I'm not Fonzie. (Phoebe nods in agreement as he leaves.)
Rachel: I’m telling you guys, we followed them out to a house in Westchester, the went in for like forty-five minutes and then they came out looking pretty happy!
Ross: I actually had a topic in mind! Im, Im kinda going through a dry spell, sex wise.
Mr. Waltham: Shes in hiding. Shes utterly humiliated. She doesnt want to see you ever again.
Chandler: Maybe. Unless they're like two people who have lived in apartments next to each other for years, and then one day they're pushed through a vagina and they meet.
Ross: Joey, I did not break this! Okay? (He opens the freezer and smells inside and recoils in disgust.) That has been broken for a while.
Phoebe: Ok. Hello everyone and thank you all for being here tonight. So tomorrow's the big event and some of you might not know, but Mike and I didn't get off to the best start. (she reads a note). My friend Joey and I decided to fix each other up with friends so I, I... (Monica is twirling her hands in order to make Phoebe speed up her speech) oh I... hum... I gave it a lot of thought and I fixed him up with my friend Mary Ellen who couldn't be here tonight because... (Monica is tapping her watch with her finger) it's not important... she is in rehab. Anyway, so, ok, Joey said that he was fixing me up with his friend Mike, only he didn't have a friend Mike so he just brought, uhm, my Mike and, and (Monica clears her throat) but despite, you know... it got... it got good. Ok, I wanna take a moment to mention my mother, who couldn't be here...
Dr. Green: (on phone, not hearing her) theres gonna be a wedding! (Joey enters from his room and goes to get a beer from the fridge.) Thats unacceptable Rachel! What the hell does love have to do with it anyway?! There are more important things in a marriage other than love! (Joey hears something and looks around for the source.) constantly thinking about things! You have to think about the consequences of your decision. (Joey finds that the sound is coming from the phone and puts it to his ear.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel has just found out about Chloe and is screaming at Ross. The rest of the gang is trapped in Monica's bedroom.]
[Time lapse. Bobby is talking about his grandfather. Everyone else is virtually in tears]
Rachel: Yeah... Amy kept kicking me in her sleep yelling ‘Myron, get off!’
Ross: Oh my God, she's great! I mean, we-we have so much in common and she's just cool, and funny...
Monica: Hi, come in! Paul, this is.. (They are all lined up next to the door.)... everybody, everybody, this is Paul.
Monica: Yeah, you really shouldn't. (to Ross, sarcastically) By the way, how was that year-long dig in Cairo?
Phoebe Sr: Hey! Okay! Well thanks for coming out to see me. I just-I just thought it would be a very good idea to talk about this baby stuff in person. Yknow
Chandler: (nods in appreciation) Shovely Joe!
Ross: Oh, well he's obviously late and the rule in my class is "if you can't come on time, then don't come at all". (pause) An option that many of my students use. (pause) Shall we?
Dr. Green: (on phone) just because youre not in love with the guy you cant
(Rachel steps in a patch of mud)
Little Girl: Okay. (She drops her head in disappointment and walks away.)
Phoebe: Well, I told you I had to spend all the day clearing out stuff, so Mike could move in.
Ross: Because I folded it up and put in my pants pocket. Do you...do you not look there?
(The group does the same horrible dance that Joey did earlier in the show, except they're all out of sync and they do the jazz hands at the end.)
Ross: (to the class) Right! So when Rigby got his samples back from the laboratory he made a startling discovery! What he believed to be igneous, was in fact sedimentary. Imagine his consternation when(sees Monica and Rachel.) Oh bloody hell.
(she knees him in the crotch. He jumps up a bit)
Joey: look I don't usually ask out women that I meet in coffeehouses
Chandler: All right! (He joins them in the fort and comes up putting on a bonnet.) Isn't this a woman's hat?
Missy: Sure, he was in your "band"? (she air quotes band)
Joey: Yeah! (Chandler bangs the table in frustration.)
Joey: Alright alright. You're a monkey. You're loose in the city. Where do you go?
Joey: (going over and picking up the rod) Thats all right. Hey you guys, you know whats going to be great about the fishing trip this year? When my dad gets me out in the middle of the lake and gives me that, "Joey, what are you doing with your life?" stuff. I can say, "Well, Im doing a movie with Charlton Heston dad. What are you doing with your life?"
Ross: No, no. The vet says unless he's in a place where he has regular access to some... monkey lovin,' he's just gonna get vicious. I've just gotta get him into a zoo.
JOEY: Well then tell me things like, 'Joey you'll be fine,' and, 'Hang in there,' and, and, 'Somethin' big's fonna come along, I know it.'
Monica: Okay, Rachel, you wanna put the marshmellows in concentric circles.
Joey: Hey, Mr. Bing. That uh, hotel you stayed at called. Said someone left an eyelash curler in your room.
Ross: Just a sandwich? Look, I am 30 years old, I'm about to be divorced twice and I just got evicted! That sandwich was the only good thing going on in my life! Someone ate the only good thing going on in my life!
Chandler: (getting in) Okay, something to cover the smell � Oven cleaner! (sprays himself, reads label) Unscented!
[Cut to Chandler laying in the bathtub. "Only Time," is playing in the background.]
Ross: Its from France In Europe Western Europe. Yknow umm, a few years ago I actually was backpacking across Western Europe.
Chandler: I'm Chandler. Hey, I was in the scouts too.
Gunther: (In his head) Say Rachel, I was wondering if youd like to go to a movie with me sometime. As my lover! Nnnsch, to out there. Maybe youd just like to ah, get something to eat with me sometime? As my lover.
Ross: Well, I have a PhD, so... (assistant walk out, not impressed by this statement) (Ross takes his bathrobe off and he enters the tanning booth. He stands up in front of the red light and the sprayer starts and sprays his face and torso)
(Joey takes the plastic container to his mouth and starts to drink. Most of the milk gushes from the bottle down his chin and over his clothes to the floor. He keeps "drinking" and all of a sudden he lifts it up and half the bottle of milk pours out in an instant. He then continues to drink the rest. He then puts the empty container down on the counter.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Emma has fallen asleep in her playpen, and Chandler has fallen asleep right next to her on the floor. He's even sucking on a pacifier.]
Ross: Well, you know what... I-I'm sorry I'm the only one who isn't in love with Gary Poppins out there... But I just... I can't... I can't go through with this.
[Scene: Back in Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is doing situps.]
ROSS: [Rachel, laughing, puts a hand on the guy's shoulder] Look at that, look at that, see how she's pushing him away and he won't budge. Alright, I'm gonna do something. [walks up in the middle of their conversation] Excuse me, are you Rachel?
Paul: No, I'm telling you last night was like umm, all my birthdays, both graduations, plus the barn raising scene in Witness.
Phoebe: (coming back from the bathroom) What's up? (she sees the gift certificate in Rachel's hands) Hey, Rachel!!
(Cut to Joey and Rachel's apartment. Chandler and Ross storm in looking very unhappy)