words in movies
Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and- not having sex.
Chandler: Finally, I figure I'd better answer it, and it turns out it's my mother, which is very-very weird, because- she never calls me!
Joey: Alright Ross, look. You're feeling a lot of pain right now. You're angry. You're hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is?
Monica: (pointing at Rachel) De-caff. (to All) Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (to Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?
Rachel: Ooh, I was kinda hoping that wouldn't be an issue... [Scene: Monica's Apartment, everyone is there and watching a Spanish Soap on TV and are trying to figure out what is going on.]
Ross: (in a deep voice) I'll have whatever Christine is having.
(The scene on TV has changed to show two women, one is holding her hair.)
(She is pushed down the stairs and everyone cheers.)
[Time Lapse, Rachel is breating into a paper bag.]
Monica: Okay, look, this is probably for the best, y'know? Independence. Taking control of your life. The whole, 'hat' thing.
Monica: Oh God, is it 6:30? Buzz him in!
Monica: Maybe. Joey: Wait. Your 'not a real date' tonight is with Paul the Wine Guy?
Chandler: Ooh, this is a Dear Diary moment.
Monica: Hi, come in! Paul, this is.. (They are all lined up next to the door.)... everybody, everybody, this is Paul.
[Scene: The Subway, Phoebe is singing for change.]
Phoebe: (singing) Love is sweet as summer showers, love is a wondrous work of art, but your love oh your love, your love...is like a giant pigeon...crapping on my heart. La-la-la-la-la- (some guy gives her some change and to that guy) Thank you. (sings) La-la-la-la...ohhh!
Chandler: I would have to say that is an 'L'-shaped bracket.
(Joey checks that Ross is not looking and dumps it in a plant.)
Monica: That's right. [Scene: Monica's Apartment, Rachel is talking on the phone and pacing.]
Rachel: Barry, I'm sorry... I am so sorry... I know you probably think that this is all about what I said the other day about you making love with your socks on, but it isn't... it isn't, it's about me, and I ju- (She stops talking and dials the phone.) Hi, machine cut me off again... anyway...look, look, I know that some girl is going to be incredibly lucky to become Mrs. Barry Finkel, but it isn't me, it's not me. And not that I have any idea who me is right now, but you just have to give me a chance too... (The maching cuts her off again and she redials.)
[Scene: Ross's Apartment; Ross is pacing while Joey and Chandler are working on some more furniture.]
Chandler: You must stop! (Chandler hits what he is working on with a hammer and it collapses.)
Chandler: Look, Ross, you gotta understand, between us we haven't had a relationship that has lasted longer than a Mento. You, however have had the love of a woman for four years. Four years of closeness and sharing at the end of which she ripped your heart out, and that is why we don't do it! I don't think that was my point!
Ross: You know what the scariest part is? What if there's only one woman for everybody, y'know? I mean what if you get one woman- and that's it? Unfortunately in my case, there was only one woman- for her...
Joey: What are you talking about? 'One woman'? That's like saying there's only one flavor of ice cream for you. Lemme tell you something, Ross. There's lots of flavors out there. There's Rocky Road, and Cookie Dough, and Bing! Cherry Vanilla. You could get 'em with Jimmies, or nuts, or whipped cream! This is the best thing that ever happened to you! You got married, you were, like, what, eight? Welcome back to the world! Grab a spoon!
Monica: Oh, so there is gonna be a fifth date?
Monica: Yeah... yeah, I think there is. -What were you gonna say?
Monica: I know being spit on is probably not what you need right now. Um... how long?
[Scene: Monica's Apartment, Rachel is watching Joanne Loves Chaci.]
[Scene: Monica's Apartment, Rachel is making coffee for Joey and Chandler.]
Chandler: That is amazing.
Chandler: Hi, Paul, is it?
[Scene: Iridium, Monica is working as Frannie enters.]
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Rachel is there.]
Monica: Is it me? Is it like I have some sort of beacon that only dogs and men with severe emotional problems can hear?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is sitting around the kitchen table. Rachel's credit cards are spread out on the table along with a pair of scissors.]
Rachel: Oh God, come on you guys, is this really necessary? I mean, I can stop charging anytime I want.
Ross: The word you're looking for is 'Anyway'...
Chandler: (as Rachel is cutting up her cards) Y'know, if you listen closely, you can hear a thousand retailers scream.
(Rachel goes into her room and Monica enters the living room as Ross is leaving.)
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Leslie is singing.]
Joey: Hey. I just saw a woman breast feeding both of her twins at the same time; it is like a freak show up here. (Notices shes wiping her eyes.) Whats the matter?
Ross: And is a hum, kinda like a scruddle?
Monica: Yeah! Okay, this one is a mushroom cap. (Points to it.) Umm, this one is made of bologna. (Points.)
[Scene: The lecture, Ross is passed out against Rachels shoulder.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is reading the newspaper.]
(As shes saying that Joey is to pull out a chair and sit down, only Matthew comes running in from off camera and dives for the same chair.)
Rachel: What? Uhh, Phoebe, honey, honey, I know you're quirky and I get a big kick out of it, we all do actually, but if you destroy a coat like this that is like a crime against nature! Not nature, fashion!
[Scene: The Waiting Room, Monica is on the phone with her mother, Chandler is standing behind her.]
Rachel: Oh, that is so...
RACHEL: Oh my gosh, wow. Monica. Oh my god. Mom. This is so great.
(She sets down her bag and we travel back to slow motion world. She once again whips her hair around in slow motion with the love doctor Barry White singing in the background. And Id also like to take this opportunity to mention that she can also be seen in Starship Troopers and that she was born in Downers Grove, Illinois which just happens to be a few miles from where I live. Anyway Cousin Ross is now staring.)
Rachel: (Brings Marcel a teddy bear) Marcel, this is for you. It's, uh, just, y'know, something to, um, do on the plane.
Phoebe: That's true. (Pause) Well, is anything you told me about yourself true?
MONICA: Oh, gosh, this is so weird. I mean, his whole life was in this apartment, and now it's gone. You know, I think it would be nice if we just took a few moments, for Mr. Heckles. I mean, he was kind of a pain, he was, but, he was a person. You're all going to hell.
Ross: Is everything okay?
Phoebe: What is this?
Ross: Thats right good things, that-that is what I said. (glances at Monica)
Phoebe: (pointing to the globe) See there it is right there.
Chandler: What time is it now?
Chandler: This teramisu is, is excellent. Did you make it Mary-Angela?
Chandler: Oh, because his penis was too big. (he notices that David is not amused) Oh, I'm sorry, that's the kind of thing I do. (pause) They broke up because Mike didn't want to get married. Hey, what if you just let Phoebe know you'd be open to marriage?
Phoebe: Stating the obvious, but thank you. And its not weird is it.
Phoebe: Okay, this is what Im talking about, this. I-I need to live in a land where people can spill.
Rachel: Um-hmm. (Joshua turns to look in the mirror and leaves Rachel staring at his ass.) There we go. There it is.
Chandler: (running around the apartment pointing out things) Bedroom. Bathroom. Living room. This right here is the kitchen, and thanks for coming by, (opens door) Bye-bye.
(They slowly and hesitantly move their lips together and kiss gently. Phoebe has her eyes wide open in shock and Chandler is squinting. He finally breaks the kiss after only a short while and pushes Phoebe away.)
Rachel: No. (Ross is standing in the doorway.) A break from us.
[Scene: Chandler's Office, Chandler is on a coffee break as Lowell enters.]
ROSS: But wait, there's more. Hey, Chandler, what is in the envelope?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is showing Monica where Sergeis country is.]
CHANDLER: God that is good TV.
Mark: What? Is it my breath?
Julio: The Empty Vase is not about you. My baby, you make me so sad that you would think this.
Frank: Wait a minute, wait, this is because of you?
Phoebe: A stripper at a bachelor party, that is so clich�. Why don't you get a magician?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Mark is there, opening Chinese food boxes.]
Ross: This is my son having lunch, ok? It's gonna happen a lot, so you'd better get used to it. Now if you have any problem with it, if you're uncomfortable, just ask questions. Carol's fine with it, now come on.
[Scene: The Hallway Between The Apartments, Ross and Rachel are coming back from the hospital. Ross is helping her up the stairs.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is watching Joey read Little Women, Ross is also there.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is next to the bay window again, Mark has left.]
[Scene: The Philly, Ross is dancing with Chloe.]
Ross: Is this about Mark?
(Carol, Ross's ex-wife, has entered behind them and is standing outstide the exhibit.)
Ross: Is that Mark?
Margha: It is okay, if I stay and watch?
Joey: (interrupting) Whoa-whoa! No-no-no-no-no, nothing is going up! Okay? Up, up is not an optionwhat's a urethra? (Monica whispers what it is in his ear.) Are you crazy?!
Monica: No, it is me! Y'know, I'm not just the person who needs to fluff the pillows and pay the bills as soon as they come in! Y'know, when I'm with her, I am so much more than that. I'm- I'm Monana!
Monica: The second that Ross walks in that door, I want you take him back to your bedroom and do whatever it is that you do that makes him go, (high pitched) rweee!!
Chandler: Oh my God this doesnt count! Okay? The interview was over, that was the real Chandler Bing in there, this is just some crazy guy out in the hall! Call security! Theres a crazy guy out in the hall!
JOEY: Hey, this is a little extra somethin' for uh, ya know, always bein' there for me. [hands Chandler a jewelry box]
Ross: Ah y'know, this building is on my paper route so I... (gives her a flower)
PHOEBE: Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Ugly Naked Guy is decorating his tree. Oh my God, you should see the size of his Christmas Balls.
Joey: All right, okay, now, we just have to make sure she doesnt find out some other way. (spins the chair around so that Ross is facing him) Did you think about the trail?
Rachel: Ok! (whispering) Joey is having a secret Days Of Our Lives party up on the roof and he sent you guys to the play to get rid of you!
[Scene: The Xerox Place, Ross is trying to break the trail.]
Chloe: Is this about me taking your watch?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering, and hes very dejected.]
[Scene: Phoebes Work, Ross is now trying to stop Jasmine from telling Phoebe.]
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Chandler are on their date with Janice and Clark, however Clark is a no show and Janice is crying the Mississippi River about it.]
Phoebe: Aw, honey its not your fault, y'know this is who you are, and I love you, and I want us to be friends, and if I keep living here I dont see that happening.
Phoebe: Now what is Fabutec?
[Scene: Central Perk, all except Phoebe are there, Ross is telling the gang, minus Rachel whos still being retrained, about the different cookie options.]
Phoebe: You guys were right. Hes just too excited about everything. I mean Im all for living life, but this is the Gellers 35th anniversary. Okay? Lets call a spade a spade this party stinks.
Joey: Thank you Phoebe, that is very, very generous.
[Scene: The lecture, Rachel is listening closely, Ross is bored out of his mind.]
Phoebe: Yeah, yknow what I noticed Rachel? He scares easy. Is that the kind of guy youd like to take to a ball? "Hey Sebastian, would you like to dance?" (Imitates him.) "Uhh, okayI gotta go!"
[Scene: Chandler is standing on a street corner waiting for Phoebe in the cab. Joey walks up.]
Ross: Ah, yeah, yeah. Umm, we started talking after she y'know, did her thing. And it turns out she's got a boy about Ben's age, so we're taking them to a gym-boree class. Why, is that okay?
Ross: (loudly) Why?! Are there like bears or something?! (Looks around and then sees that Elizabeth is shaking her head no and realizes what Elizabeth meant.) Ohh. Oh, protection. Yeah-no, yeah-no, that-that-that I forgot.
Rachel: Oh... (opens it)... (sees it is a pin) Oh my God. He remembered.
[Scene: Ross's bedroom, Ross is working and Rachel is reading a book in bed]
Joey: Yeah, listen, before I forget that side is still wet.
Ross: Marcel is an illegal exotic animal. I'm not allowed to have him in the city. If they find him, they'll take him away from me.
[Cut to the living room, Chandler is entering as Monica finishes wrapping her present for him on the kitchen table.]
[Scene: The rest stop, Joey is making a sign.]
Monica: Are you insane? I mean Joey, is going to kill you, hes actually going to kill you dead.
Rachel: What is he doing here?!
Monica: This is amazing. I mean, how, how did this happen?
Chandler: Oh, this is horrible, its just horrible.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is throwing darts, as Joey enters.]
Chandler: Nobody is opening anything ok? Look, I dont know about you guys, but I wanna see the look on Monicas face when I give her my present, and Im sure she wants to see the look on my face when I get mine. So please, please, can we just, can we put them back?
Phoebe: Y'know what, but there is, there is no right or wrong, here.
Joey: Well, you lied again! (Rachel comes out of her room and is observing the conversation)
Chandler: Yknow, I knew something like this was going to happen. (He starts to take off his pants, revealing that he is still wearing his sweat pants.)
JOEY: Wow, this is wild. What're you gonna get?
Dick Clark: (on TV) Hi, this is Dick Clark, live in Times Square. We're in a virtual snowstorm of confetti here in Times Square...
Rachel: God, Im not lame, okay. I can do something. I can throw, would you let me throw, come on this is my game too.
(David the scientist guy is standing at the news-stand)
Rachel: Oh honey, this is his office too. I told you we're Joanna's two assistants.
[Scene: Outside Chandlers Office, Chandler is just about to go into his office when Bob calls for him from behind.]
Rachel: Wow, this is so cool, you guys. The entire city is blacked out!
ROSS: I'm sorry. What was I supposed to do stand up and shout 'Hey, Rachel, your butt is showing!'
Monica: Y'see, this is where you'd use that 'hello' word we talked about.
MONICA: Because that's where the party is you goon. See this is just the staging area.
Ms. McKenna: Boston is down, Atlanta is down, Houston is down, I could go on and on but instead of boring you Ill go straight to my forty two point plan.
Doug: Hi. So good news, the divorce is final. I signed the papers this A.M.
Joey: Now, wh-what, what is that like?
Chandler: Oh, this is soo bad. (doesnt see Mary-Angela)
Ross: Hi, um, Im err, (has to clear his throat) Im Ross Geller, and err ah... (pats Carols bulge) ..thats, thats my boy in there, and uh, (points) this is Carol Willick, and this... is Susan Bunch. Susan is um Carols, just, com... (embarrassment finally overwhelms the poor fellow, who becomes incoherent until) ..whos next?