words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment, everyone except Ross is decorating the tree.]
Chandler: Let me ask you, why is everybody using these tiny lights nowadays? I remember when people used to use big lights.
Monica: Having a perfectly decorated tree is not what Christmas is about. Its about being with the people that you love.
Phoebe: That is nice and were done. TADA!
Chandler: I dunno what it is, it just doesnt quite feel like Christmas to me.
(She turns the tree around so that her side, which is perfectly decorated, is showing)
Joey: I had to get out of the apartment. Janine is like stretching all over the place. Yknow, everywhere I look shes like (He imitates her stretching)
Ross: Oh, well you see how it works is, the part with Dick Clark in Times Square is actually live, but they tape some of the party stuff ahead of time. Yeah, not a lot of people know that.
Ross: Yeah, I have a question. When is this gonna air?
Joey: Ross! So when is it gonna air?
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment, Chandler is there. Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
[Scene: The Set, everyone is dancing.]
(As the camera passes by, they start to dance really rigid, but the camera is facing the other way.)
Rachel: Well Chandler, what is this very weird, metal A Z thing?
[Scene: The Set, the girl is still dancing with Joey.]
[Scene: The Mens Bathroom, the tall guy is there as Joey enters.]
Joey: Alright, alright, hey yknow fair is fair, (he pretends to wash his hands) if youre right, youre right, what can I say, but hey oh no! (He throws water on the guys pants)
Rachel: Hey, this is hollow.
Chandler: I dont wanna know what Monica got me. Yknow? I mean, look, Im sure she worked really hard at getting you a present, and wanting to surprise me, and you guys are gonna ruin that, and I, look we have to put these back, this is not what Christmas is about.
Chandler: Nobody is opening anything ok? Look, I dont know about you guys, but I wanna see the look on Monicas face when I give her my present, and Im sure she wants to see the look on my face when I get mine. So please, please, can we just, can we put them back?
Phoebe: Oh yes, I see what you mean. That look is priceless.
Janine: Sure, New Years Eve is only two weeks away. Can you wait?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment, everyone except Joey is there.]
Rachel: Oh yknow what? Yknow what? Now that you know what you want you should go to Kleinmans and get it half off. This place is so overpriced.
SUSIE: It looks like one of her eyebrows fell down. Now unless someone convinces her to let me bleach it, Jean-Claude Van Damme is gonna be making out with Gabe Kaplan.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is serving Joey, Ross, and Monica their drinks.]
Phoebe: And! And, theyre gonna have a baby! (The gang is shocked.) And! And, they want me to grow it for them in my uterus. (The gang is stunned into silence.)
Phoebe: Okay. So, this wire is connected to this wire which plugs into here. (She points at each as she says it.) Okay so, to get the beeping to stop all I have to do (She picks up a shoe and proceeds to pummel the smoke detector. She then gets up and heads to bed, stops, quickly turns around, and is satisfied that the beeping has stopped.) Well done, Pheebs. (She resumes her trek to bed, but is stopped at the entrance to the hallway by the now steady and extremely loud tone emanating from the smoke detector.) (Yelling.) What do you want from me?!!!!!!!
Mr. Heckles: That's not my monkey. Just the dress is mine, you can send that back whenever.
Erica: No, I don't mind you touching my belly, but right now your hand is kind of blocking the part where the baby is gonna come out.
JOEY: Yeah it is. . . what?
Chandler: (tastes it) Well.... it is amouz-ing...
[Scene: Library. Phoebe is singing.]
Chandler: Monica says that her Maitre D. is the funniest guy she's ever met.
ROSS: This is unbelievable.
CHANDLER: OK, now wait a minute. That is the craziest typing test I've ever seen.
[Scene: Petes office, he is participating in a conference call with three other employees, each of whom are on a different TV screen that he controls with a remote.]
Monica: Hi. About last night... I know you are under a lot of stress and even though the things you said hurt me a little bit... My point is, uh, well, I'm willing to take my job back.
ERICA: Is this true?
SUSAN: Is your finger caught in that chair?
ERICA: Is all this true?
Ross: Hey! Wha-hoo! What's this? (showing the bottle) Well it's a, it's a bottle of champagne. Why is this here?
Phoebe: This is so typical. I'm always the last one to know everything.
JOEY: This is amazing.
[Scene: Central Perk. The whole gang is there.]
[Scene: City street. The whole gang is walking up to the movie set.]
KID: Excuse me. Is this where the singing lady is that tells the truth?
Rachel: Chandler and Monica?!! Oh, this is unbelievable!! How long have you known?
MONICA: Ross, there he is.
(Joey hears the bell which means his answer is correct and is surprised. The screen now says "5 to win" and "Spanish words")
RACHEL: Now just how big of a star is Marcel?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler have trading the entertainment center for the canoe. Joey is sitting in the bow, staring off into space as to envision his future full of possibilities. Chandler is sitting at the stern, staring into space and is looking at an uncertain future.]
SUSIE: Uh, is your name Chandler?
CHANDLER: Uh, yes, yes it is.
Joey: Well that thing is clearing in the way! All right. Ah-ha! (He grabs a screwdriver and starts to attack the compressor, only he causes a small short circuit and shocks himself.) Ah-ah!! Damn fridge!
Chandler: (Chandler looks around the place and his eye gets caught by Richard's video collection) Look at these videos. You know, I mean, who does he think he is? Magnum Force, Dirty Harry, Cool Hand Luke... Oh my God!
Monica: This is me in The Sound of Music. See the von Trapp kids?
Ross: Joey, Im not worried about her! Im worried about my baby! Whoever she dates my baby dates! Now-now where is this (makes the quote-marks sign) actor taking them?
RACHEL: That is so unfair.
Charlie: Ooh... Is it because of what might be on the bedspread, because I saw that news report too, with the infra red and the ... I could just...
Rachel: Okay, y'know what? Maybe, this is not about seizing stuff. Maybe this is about escaping stuff.
Monica: "Hi Im Rachel, is my sweater too tight? No? Oh, Id better wash it and shrink it!"
[Scene: The beach house, Phoebe is coming down the stairs all packed and ready to go.]
Monica: Oh, please, that is such a lame excuse!
Monica: You bet your ass Im gonna fire you! Get out of my kitchen! Get out!! (Joey leaves) All right! Anybody else got a problem? How bout you Chuckles? You think this is funny now?
PHOEBE: OK, um, I'm gonna play, um, some songs about grandparents, OK. [singing] Now, grandma's a person who everyone likes, she bought you a train and a bright, shiny bike. But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner, And last time you saw her she looked so much thinner. Now, your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru, but the truth is she died and some day you will too. La-la-la la la-la-la la la-la-la la...
RACHEL: That is the most ridiculous.
PHOEBE: Alright Monica, if there is something that you would like to share...
TERRY: Rachel, it's not that your friend is bad, it's that she's so bad, she makes me want to put my finger through my eye into my brain and swirl it around.
[Scene: Carol's Room, she is ready to give birth. Everyone is there except for Phoebe, Ross, and Susan, who are in the broom closet.]
RACHEL: Oh, what do you, you want me to stop seeing him, is that what you want?
PHOEBE: Huh. So now, the real question is, who put those fossils there, and why?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is in the kitchen as Ross and Ben are entering.]
SUSIE: This is for the fourth grade.
[Cut to her apartment where Rachel is sitting at the table.]
RACHEL: OK, OK, that is my favorite sweater, that is my third date sweater.
CHANDLER: No, no, this is the first time.
Joey: Come on. This guy's great. His name's Bob. He's Angela's... brother. He's smart, he's sophisticated, and he has a real job. Me, I go on three auditions a month and call myself an actor, but Bob is...
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there as Rachel enters, happily.]
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, you know that right now, your baby's only this big? (measures about 2 inches with his thumb and index finger) This is your baby. (in baby-like voice) Hi Daddy!
[The gang is walking to a newsstand late at night. Joey is anxiously in the lead.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Monica is getting the door.]
Ross: Eh, either way Ill pass. (Quietly to Chandler) I still cant eat those. (Monica is getting something out of the fridge and starts laughing.) Whats so funny?!
[Scene: City street. Whole gang is there seeing off Marcel.]
[Scene: Rachels Office, Joey is knocking on the door holding a hand over a spot on his shirt.]
Chandler: Nina? Nina. (He goes around his desk to where she is sitting.) Nina. (In pain) Nina.
Ross: Hi. (He is wearing a piece of steel bandaged to his nose. He tosses some forms onto reception desk.)
INTERVIEWER: Uh-huh. Is it dirty?
PHOEBE: What is that sparkly thing?
Monica: Ha,ha, ha, oh my life is just so amusing. Could we drop it now?
MONICA: Wow, that is a surprise. Just one little question, uh, why not Ross's room?
Chandler: (standing in the door of the fridge) Well, I dont have to break up with her this time. Were not involved! Im going to do a pre-emptive strike! Im going to end it with her before it starts. My ass is like frozen! (Closes the fridge.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, and Chandler are there. Monica is entering from her room.]
RACHEL: Ross, there is no us, OK.
Rachel: (entering with Paolo, arm in arm) Everybody, this is Paolo. Paolo, I want you to meet my friends. This is Monica.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is prying at the Magic 8 Ball with a screwdriver as there's a knock on his door which he goes to answer.]
(Cassie enters from the guest room, with her hair up. The extremely beautiful and sexy Denise Richards is playing Cassie. Woo hoo! For those of you who dont know who she is, rent Wild Things and she was also the last Bond girl in The World Is Not Enough.)
Rachel: (entering) Well, if anyone is keeping score, I no longer eat tuna.
[Marcel is driven off in a limo]
Ross: So, your ex-boyfriend is gonna determine if your new boyfriend gets this grant? Wow, your new boyfriend is screwed!
JOEY: What is with your nose?
JANITOR: So, what is this information worth to you, my friend?
Rachel: Monica, what is with you? Who'd you have lunch with?
RACHEL: Oh, Phoebe, that really cute guy is here again.
MONICA: Dad, it is not. What's with the red light?
MR. GELLER: It is off.
Ross: Okay! Okay! But if she doesnt call, it is definitely over! No, wait. Wait. Unless, eventually, I call her, yknow just to she whats going on, and, and she says shell call me back, but then she doesnt. Then its over.
Rachel: Oh Ross, come on! This is not, this is not a marriage!! This is the worlds worst hangover! Ross, listen, if you do not get this annulment, I will!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica is watching the rest of the tape]
JOEY: Uh, excuse me. Jerry is the director, which one's he?
CHANDLER: Sweet mother of all that is good and pure.
CHANDLER: So uh, which one is mine?
ERICA: Ohh, and I see you're having a little party too. Is she here, huh, huh?
RACHEL: It is our first official date. Our first date.
[Scene: Outside of Elizabeths dormitory, Ross is exiting after breaking up with her and we can hear his thoughts.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Ross are there, Phoebe is entering with her date Robert.]
Joey: Oh well, theyre killing off one of the characters on the show, and when she dies her brain is being transplanted into my body.
CHANDLER: Well, I don't know what Big Leon told ya but it's an even thousand if you want me for the whole night. What is this for?
Monica: (On the phone) Hello? No, he's not here. Yeah, this is his wife. Yeah, well, it came as quite a shock to me too. I guess I should have known. Yeah, I mean, he just kept making me watch Moulin Rouge.
SECURITY GUARD: Uh, excuse me folks this is a uhh...
ROSS: Oh, mine too. Isn't that neat, scotch neat. Would you excuse me? [walks out in the hallway, Mr. Greene is walking out of Chandler and Joey's apartment] Hey, hey, where you uh, sneakin off to mister?
DIRECTOR'S ASSISTANT: Is it bad?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is seated, and the apartment is filled with baskets of fruit. Joey enters, check in hand.]