words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is looking around the shop as Phoebe returns from getting some more coffee.]
Rachel: Oh, what is wrong with me lately? I mean its like every guy I seeI mean look here. (Points behind them) Look at that guy for example, I mean normally thats not someone I would-would be attracted to, but right now, with the way Im feeling, all I want to do is rip off his sweatpants and fanny pack.
Phoebe: Wait a second! This is about the fourth month of your pregnancy, right?
Phoebe: This is completely normal, around the fourth month your hormones start going crazy.
Ross: Wow! That is a good one! Wow, it looks like a, like a holiday card yknow, with the tree in the middle and the skaters and the snow.
Ross: Married couples send out cards, families send out cards, people who have been dating for a couple of months do not send out cards! What-what is she crazy?!
[Scene: Chandlers Office, his boss Doug is entering, Monica is there as well.]
Doug: Hi. So good news, the divorce is final. I signed the papers this A.M.
Doug: Tomorrow night it is then, I should be out of court by six. They keep throwing these sexual harassment cases at me and I keep knocking them out of the park!
Mona: Hey, I went by the photo shop, take a look, here is a mockup of our card. What do you think?
Ross: Huh. Wow, this is great.
Mona: Yknow, like where are we? Where is this relationship going?
[Scene: Rachels Doctors Office, she is waiting for her doctor as a nurse enters.]
Rachel: Oh, I love to ski! How amazing is this?!
Rachel: No! Shoot, Dr. Schiff what kind of question is that?!
Dr. Schiff: Im sorry, is there something going on here?
Rachel: Okay, even this is turning me on!
Ross: Yeah, were not just doing a card! Yknow, she-she also wants to have the conversation about where the relationship is going.
Ross: I know! I know! Why do you guys need to have this conversation?! Huh? I mean no self-respecting man would ask a woman, "So, where is this going?"
Monica: That is a slap in the face.
[Scene: Chandlers Office, Doug is entering.]
Chandler: Yknow what would really help me through this tough time is choking something. Can I choke ya?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is getting Mona some coffee.]
Ross: I mean, theres no point in spending time with someone if-if its just fun. Its gotta be, its gotta be going somewhere right? So where-where is it going? (Pause) Ah! Thats-thats the real question. And-and the answer is is its going somewhere fun. Now I-I know what youre thinking, fun was fine for you like ten years ago yknow, but youre-youre not getting any younger. No I meanNo not you, not you, youyou are getting younger. I meanyou-you look like youre getting younger by the secondWhats your secret?
Mona: You dont think this is too fast.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Ross is telling Rachel and Monica about yet another mistake hes made with a woman.]
Phoebe: Hi! Okay, Monica, Rachel, this is my friend Roger.
Ross: No. That guy is.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is eating dinner as Chandler enters.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is on the phone.]
Rachel: Okay, its justand this is really embarrassingbut lately with this whole pregnancy thing Im just finding myself how do I put this umm, erotically charged.
Joey: Is that college talk for horny?
Rachel: Yeah. So yknow, I have all of these feelings and I dont know what to do about them, because I cant date like a normal person, which is fine because I dont need a relationship, I mean all I really want is one great night. Just sex, yknow? No strings attached, no relationship, just with someone that I feel comfortable with and who knows what hes doing. For just one great night, I mean is that really so hard to find. (Looks at Joey.) So how was your day?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is there as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Hi. Listen, Im sorry about that whole thing with Roger. It really wasnt right, and I, and I want to make it up to you, so umm, I brought you something that I think youll really enjoy. (Goes into the hallway and returns carrying the Evander Holyfield cutout.) Now, this is just a loan. Okay? Im gonna, Im gonna want him back. So (Looks at him longingly) Im gonna go now. (Exits.) (Pause) (Entering) Im sorry, I thought I could do it and I cant! (She grabs the cutout and exits for good.)
Joey: I know, and only one layer of jam?! What is up with that?
Chandler: Wow, Ralph Lauren is really going out of there way to show theyre not in the baby buying business.
Chandler: Well, at least the perfume is not mine, be thankful for that!
Joey: Alright Ross, look. You're feeling a lot of pain right now. You're angry. You're hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is?
Chandler: See Joe, not that thats not grrreat! But, one of the cool things about having somebody we know perform the ceremony is that it can be about us! Yknow, it can be more personal. You can tell stories about us!
Rachel: Yeah I know. She ran into him at my office and they just made out. And the craziest thing is, now my boss likes me because I told her about it and she said it was the best gossip shed heard all year.
Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and- not having sex.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is there eating breakfast. Chandler is cleaning out his wallet.]
Rachel: Umm, well lets see uh, this one is Tom Brokaw.
Monica:: Is this not the good part? Do you want me to fast forward to something a little toothier.
Phoebe: Okay. (on phone) Ooh, Im setting the phone down. (does so) But Im still here! Just dont go anywhere Im still here. (starts to put on the sweater) Dont-dont switch or anything, cause Im, Im right here. (She has pulled the sweater over her head, but her head is stuck in a sleeve.) Just one sec. One sec! One second!! (She is now frantically trying to get the sweater on, as Monica returns from the bathroom.) Wait! One second! Just
Monica: This is crazy! I mean, it's such a stupid argument. I don't even wanna see Richard again.
[Scene: The Subway, Phoebe is singing for change.]
Joey: Ah, well, if I want the girl to kiss me, first thing I do is make my lips look irresistible.
Rachel: Ooh, is this one of those things where you throw it in a bag with some graveyard dirt and hang it from a north-facing tree?
Monica: That's right. [Scene: Monica's Apartment, Rachel is talking on the phone and pacing.]
[Scene: Ross's Apartment; Ross is pacing while Joey and Chandler are working on some more furniture.]
Phoebe: All right. (she releases him). He is a good guy. You’re right, he wouldn’t cheat.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is telling Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler about Emily's ultimatum.]
Chandler: That is amazing.
Phoebe: Aw! Hey, do you think that Susan person is her lover?
Chandler: Hi, Paul, is it?
Joey: But you gotta have turkey on Thanksgiving! I mean, Thanksgiving with no turkey is like-like Fourth of July with no apple pie! Or Friday with no two pizzas!
Rachel: Oh, he is precious! Where did you get him?
Chandler: This is exactly the kind of social situation that I am not comfortable with!
Joey: How come you have two? Chandler: Well this one's for you. Joey: Get out. Chandler: No, I can't. No-no, listen, I, I know how much this means to you and I also know that this is about more than just jewelry, (Puts bracelet on Joey) it's about you and me and the fact that we're (Reading bracelet) best buds. Joey: Wow, is this friendship? I think so. Check it out, we're bracelet buddies. Chandler: That's what they'll call us. [The next one is from Episode 618: The One Where Ross Dates A Student.]
Monica: Okay, I've broken them down into categories. Okay, we have uh, we got holidays, birthdays, candids, y'know And then what I've done is I've cross-referenced them by subject. Right? So if you're looking up, oh let's say birthdays and dogs, you get Photo 152. See? (Hands her the photo.)
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Rachel is there.]
[Scene: Rosss Bedroom, Ross is waking up. He straightens himself out on the bed and puts the covers over his head.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is coming back from using the phone.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is sitting around the kitchen table. Rachel's credit cards are spread out on the table along with a pair of scissors.]
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is there as Rachel enters.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Paul is writing something as Rachel enters.]
[Scene: The Jewelry Store, Phoebe is busy trying on virtually everything in the store. Shes got earrings, rings, bracelets, and enough necklaces to put Mr. T to shame on.]
[Scene: outside Phoebe's apartment, Monica is knocking on the door.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the game is coming to a close.]
Rachel: Hi, my name is Rachel Green, I have an appointment for Emma.
Monica: Whose little ball of paper is this?!
Ross: Im sorry man. (Formally dressed people start to enter.) Heres a thought. This is the same ballroom. Theres a band. Theres gonna be plenty of dressed up people.
Vince: (dead serious) Fire safety is not a joke, son.
[Scene: Joey's Apartment, the guys are still playing the game only everyone is really into it.]
Phoebe: You guys, you know what I just realized? 'Joker' is 'poker' with a 'J.' Coincidence?
Rachel: No, but they stuck me in personal shopping. Which is just a huge step down!
Phoebe: (while everyone else is stunned) Ooh! I found it!
Phoebe: She is so great! I miss her.
Joey: .....Well, this is still ruined, right?
Phoebe: Oh, this is so intense. One side of my butt is totally asleep, and the other side has no idea.
Joey: All right, all we need is a little lighter fluid.
[Time Lapse, everyone is now eating.]
Chandler: Why are you in here if Joshua is all the way over there? (Points to the living room.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is closing up and Ross comes in. Get your Kleenex.]
Ross: You even have to ask?! (He grabs a lollypop out of a jar) (Sees Rachel) (To Rachel) He is alive!
[Scene: A Theater, there is a casting session going on for a play.]
(The duck starts to frantically flap his wings, while Joey is holding him, in an attempt to get away.)
[Another group of flashbacks begin with Episode 513: The One With Joeys Bag. Joey is carrying the bag and has entered Central Perk to the amusement of Ross and Chandler.]
Ross: Science. Yeah, I think I've heard of that. (everyone's interest is piqued, they all look over)
Ross: ..Dr. Oberman. Okay. And is he-
Joey: Are you kidding? I love that guy! (Starts singing) Mornings here! Morning is here
The Director: Hang on a minute! Joey, you keep touching your face. Is something wrong?
Ross: (walks over to where Monica is standing)Monica. Whaddya think?
Monica: Oh God, is it 6:30? Buzz him in!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment, everyone is watching the tape of the sonogram. Rachel is on the phone.]
Monica: That is completely untrue. You think Im high maintenance? Okay, prove it. I want you to make a list and were going to go through it point by point!
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe is there.]
Monica: That is the unusual activity. Look, they just wanna see if you're okay.
Ross: What is this?!
[Rachel is in the kitchen fiddling with her English truffle. Joey and Ross, anxious to leave and go to Janines party, are egging her on to hurry up.]
Chandler: All my energy is going into not asking that question. I cant believe I screwed this up!
Ross: Is that what they say on the Figure Skating Team?
Rachel: Well, let me just check that with what I got here, all right see 038 is not the number for (Ross starts making a lot of noise with a handheld pepper grinder) this store, 038 is Atlanta. And I...(stops and looks at Ross)
(Sound of dialing numbers is heard from the speaker of the machine)
Rachel: What bank is this?
Monica: Hey. It's him. (On the intercom) Who is it?
Monica: Hi. Alan, this is everybody. Everybody, this is Alan.
[Time lapse, Alan is leaving.]
Rachel: Ooh! You guys are so lucky you are here with people, you known it's such a romantic place. That's all, I just wish I could (looks at Joey who is at the check in desk) share that with a guy.
Kim: Listen to me. If you think sleeping with Ralph is going to get you my job. You are sadly mistaken.
Ross: No, Chandler, you have to find the line between stealing and taking what the hotel owes you. For example: hair drier, no, no, no, but shampoo and conditioners, yes, yes, yes. (pause) Now, the salt shaker is off-limits, but the salt (he opens the salt shaker and pours the salt into his hand) I wish I'd thought this through.
Monica: Oh, why is it unfair?
Chandler: Hey, this is so unfair!
Chandler: Out of curiosity, what is your secret ingredient?
Phoebe: What about me? I just found out that Denise is leaving town for a while, I dont have a roommate.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is entering carrying two pizzas.]
Phoebe: There it is!
Chandler: Y'know, we don't have to watch this. Weekend At Bernie's is on Showtime, HBO, and Cinemax.
[Scene Barry's office, Barry is working on patient, Robbie, as Rachel enters.]
Ross: Is there somebody else?
Phoebe: Wow! This place is incredible! (Gasps) Stings pen that he gave to Phoebe. (Puts the pen in her purse and goes over to a floor-to-ceiling bookcase) Come on! Secret passageway! (Starts pulling books at random as Trudie enters.)
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica is breaking the news to Alan.]
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there except Joey.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is walking into the living room having just gotten up in the middle of the night.]
Rachel: Ross, I am trying to help her become a better person. This is a huge breakthrough for her! She just offered to do something for another human being!!
Monica: Fair? Please dont even talk to me about fair! Fair wouldve been you wanting to marry me back then! Or fair wouldve been Chandler wanting to marry me now! Believe me, nothing about this is fair! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing!
Chandler: (looking) Oh, this is not that bad.
(Joey checks that Ross is not looking and dumps it in a plant.)
Joanne: C'mon, this is us.
Ross: Yes, yes, fine, that is my penis. Can we be grown-ups now?
RACH: And ya know what, now I've got closure. [Rachel slams the door and locks it. She sits down, visibly upset. She puts her head in her hands and begins to cry. Ross comes back and is standing outside the window. When Rachel regroups and gets back up to finish closing, she sees him. She smiles. She goes to open the door and can't get the lock undone.] ROSS: Try the bottom one. [She opens the door and they kiss.] [Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler answers the door to find Monica.] CLOSING CREDITS CHAN: Monica, it's 6:30 in the morning. We're not working out, it's over. MNCA: No way, with one pound to go, c'mon. We're workin', we're movin', we're in the zone we're groovin'. CHAN: OK, I don't, I don't mind the last pound. OK, in fact I kind of like the last pound. OK, so don't make me do anything that I'll regret. MNCA: Ooh, what'cha gonna do, fat boy, huh? What? CHAN: Nothing, except tell you, uh, I think it's wonderful how much energy you have. MNCA: Well, thanks. CHAN: I mean, especially considering how tough it's been for you to find work. MNCA: Well, you know. CHAN: You know, I mean, you can't tell your parents you were fired because they'd be disappointed. MNCA: [sad] Uh-huh. CHAN: And it's not as if you have a boyfriend's shoulder to cry on. MNCA: Well no, but um. CHAN: I mean, if it were me, I think I'd have difficulty just getting out of bed at all. MNCA: Y'know, I try to stay positive. . . CHAN: So, you feel like goin' for a run? MNCA: Alright. CHAN: Because, you know, you don't have to. If you want, you could just take a nap right here. MNCA: OK. Just for a little while. CHAN: OK. [Puts an afghan over her and dances into his room]
Monica: Yeah... yeah, I think there is. -What were you gonna say?