words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is getting ready for her first day.]
Chandler: Yeah. Is that a dinosaur tie?
Ross: Mark is that ah, the same Mark that helped you get the job?
Rachel: Yeah, it's kinda like a 'good luck on your first day' sort of thing. (to Phoebe) Is this actually a lunchbox?
Chandler: Well apparently Albert has no friends. He's very excited about the bachelor party though. I think actually the only reason he's getting married is so he can see a stripper.
Phoebe: A stripper at a bachelor party, that is so clich�. Why don't you get a magician?!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Chandler are entering, Joey is on the phone.]
Joey: It is me! It's a musical version of Tale of Two Cities. So I think I'm gonna sing New York, New York, and ah, oh I left My Heart in San Francisco.
[Scene: Rachel's office, Mark is training Rachel.]
Ross: (on phone) Hi, is Rachel there?
Mark: And who may I say is calling?
Ross: This is Ross?
Rachel: Oh honey, this is his office too. I told you we're Joanna's two assistants.
Ross: Why does Joanna need two assistants, how, how lazy is she?
[Scene: The Moondance diner, Monica is cleaning up with one of the waiters, with her back turned to him she removes her fake breasts and hides them under her wig.]
Julio: Ah actually, that is mine.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is reading Joey's resume.]
Phoebe: (covering her mouth in shock) What, what is that?
Monica: It was soo amazing, he is so sexy, and smart, which makes him even sexier. Oh gosh, I gotta so you this. Last night, we were fooling around and he stops to write a poem.
Phoebe: What?! He was with her when he wrote this poem. Look, (reading) 'My vessel so empty with nothing inside. Now that I've touched you, you seem emptier still.' He thinks Monica is empty, she is the empty vase!
Chandler: You really think that is what he meant?
[Scene: Rachel's office, her desk is covered with stuff Ross has sent her.]
Rachel: Oh no, no-no-no, that's not, not, not, what he is doing. He's just, he's just really romantic.
Rachel: Look, I know what's going on here, okay, Mark explained it all to me. He said this is what you guys do.
Ross: Why?! How?! How is he a genius?
Chandler: All right fine, don't do anything, just sit here and talk to us, meanwhile she is talking to him about you. And he's being Mr. Joe Sensitive, and she starts thinking 'Maybe this is the guy for me, because he understands me.'
Rachel: Ohhh! That is soo sweet! (gets up to get herself a cup of coffee)
(Ross is eavesdropping in the hallway.)
Mark: What is going on?
[Scene: Joey's dance audition, Joey is warming up.]
Joey: So, does that mean the audition is off?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is tying a ribbon to a vase.]
Julio: Whoa, whoa, whoa, the poem is not about you.
Julio: The Empty Vase is not about you. My baby, you make me so sad that you would think this.
Ross: A big idiot. Just you have to realize is, this whole Mark thing is kinda hard for me.
(Gunther is eavesdropping in the background.)
Rachel: Honey, why is it hard, I mean we've been together for almost a year now?
Ross: Well, I was with Carol for like eight years and I lost her. And now if it's possible I think I love you even more. So, it's hard for me to believe that I'm not gonna, well that someone else is not going to take you away.
Chandler: Oh, okay Ross. Listen, this pen is kinda getting boring, so can you pick me up some porn?
Ross: Ah, yeah, yeah. Umm, we started talking after she y'know, did her thing. And it turns out she's got a boy about Ben's age, so we're taking them to a gym-boree class. Why, is that okay?
Rachel: Sure, is she married?
Rachel: I'm not jealous. All right this is about, umm, people feeling certain things y'know about strippers. And y'know, and um, I...
Man: (entering) Is there a Julio here?
Rachel: Okay, bla-bla-bla-bla!! Who is it?!
Chandler: (looking at the tape) Joey, this is Die Hard 1 again.
Rachel: So how is the uhm... baby styling business going?
Ross: We fell asleep! That is all.
Monica: Oh my God yes! Who is she?
Rachel: That is the Coast Guard.
Chandler: Well, lets see (Finding the picture he wants.) Okay uh, is that her? (Pointing to the picture.)
[Scene: Street in front of the London Marriott, Joey and Chandler exit. Joey is carrying a video camera and is shooting Chandler.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is entering, Rachel and Phoebe are already there.]
Rachel: Oh, come on! This is crazy! Cant we just flip a coin?!
Phoebe: See? This is exactly why you shouldnt lie!
Ross: You know what I don't care. The only person I cared about getting dressed, is the one person that says she's not even gonna go. Look Rach, I'm sorry. Okay. Look, I-I wa, I was a jerk. I'm sorry I yelled. I want you there, I need you there. Look, what, what can I do that can show you how much, how much I want you to be there.
Phoebe: Oh, I know, we should have been more prepared. (she looks around) It's okay. Now, the way I see it, our real competition now is Cameron. Oh my God, they just took her sweater off. Look at those arms! Hello Michelin Man.
Phoebe: (To Joey) You are unbelievable! I spent so much time finding the perfect girl for you, you know. Mary Ellen is really smart and cute and loose.
Rachel: Really?! (Taking his resume) Okay well then, all right, well just have a seat there. Umm, so whatswhat iswhats your name?
Joey: Why is 10 the highest?
Ross: No, 10 is the highest.
Chandler: So this is nice! I wish I didnt have to go, believe me! But unfortunately I have to. (He gets up and Joey moves over next to Ross.) Oh uh, by the way, whats the name the girl youre dating?
Ross: Because its the highest. (Joey shrugs his shoulders) Okay, Rachel youre up first. (Rachel stands up and gets ready.) Situation No. 1: Youre with Monica, the wedding is about to start when Monica gets cold feet. Go! (Joey is playing the part of Monica.)
Ross: It is time for you to give your maid of honor speech.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is reading the newspaper as the phone rings. He lets the machine answer it.]
Phoebe: No, you don't! She's going to Paris! She is going to meet somebody. Do you know how many hot guys there are in Paris? It's... It's a city of Gunthers!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is telling Monica and Rachel what he has to do.]
Phoebe: Rachel? Patrick is really rich. (To Patrick) Give her some money.
[Scene: Rachels Office, Tag is arriving as Rachel is standing there.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is pacing, waiting for Chandler to return. Chandler enters.]
Rachel: Yeah, this is Tag. Tag, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, can I see you for a second? (Goes into office.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there as Rachel enters carrying a shopping bag.]
Chandler: The only reason you're doing this to Joey is because you're bored. Okay, it's not his fault that you're unemployed.
Phoebe: This stuff is great!
Chandler: Im saying that she is a devil woman! Yknow I mean you think you know someone and then they turn around and they sleep with Nick! Nick, with his rock hard pecs, and his giant man-nipples! I hate him, I hate her! Well, I dont hate her, I love her. This is all my fault really.
Phoebe: Well, we just decided that Rachel is gonna be your maid of honor.
Joey: Is this movie gonna be my big break?
[Scene: N.Y.Us University Library, Ross is entering with Chandler.]
Rachel: No, there is no Rachel Greep, but then this other girl overheard us and she was all, "Im Rachel Greep! Im Rachel Greep!" and he let her right in.
Janice: (notices Monicas engagement ring) Ohh! What is that on your finger?! Im blind!
Ross: It-itThe point is my natural charisma has made him fail his midterm.
Dr. Green: The wedding! Theres going to be a wedding. Young lady, dont you sit there and tell me my first grandchild is going to be a bastard! (Rachel pauses) Rachel Karen Green, tell me there is gonna be a wedding!!
Monica: Oh my God, shes not gonna like the chicken that night either is she?!
Rachel: Ross is on a date with my sister and they shut the drapes two and a-half-hours ago.
[Scene: San Diege Zoo. Ross is still at the monkey cages. A janitor is sweeping.]
Phoebe: (to the girls) Hi! Hi! Listen, my friend Ross is about to be divorced for the third time, but wouldnt you date him?
Monica: Is that all?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Phoebe are there again, only now theyre not talking to each other. Phoebe is loudly stirring her coffee.]
Monica: (To Chandler) This is what happens when you dont register for gifts!
Monica: Is he doing his shark attack bit yet?
Rachel: I Am I the only one that this is embarrassing for?
Ross: What? (She takes the sign off and hands it to him.) Thats great. That is great. (Crumples up the paper and throws it down in anger.) What did we just finish talking about Ben?!
Monica: Is it like for dinosaur emergencies. 'Help, come quick, they're still extinct.'
Rachel: Vrrbddy, the bll is drrbing.
Monica: Oh no sweetie, no! This is my fault, I wasnt clear! Im really sorry. And listen, you take as much time as you need to move out okay? Theres absolutely no rush.
Chandler: Is that what youre thinking about right now?
Monica: Thats right. Thats right. And that is why you cant stay here tonight. And probably why you shouldnt come to the wedding.
Ross: Okay, I did not abandon Rachel! Okay? Emily showed up at the airport! I had to go after her! I mean, I-I did what I had to do! She's my wife! Rachel is my wife! Y'knowEmily! Emily, is my wife! Man, what is that?
Rachel: Is the window open? Because if there�s a window open, a bird could fly in there.
[Cut to Monica and Chandlers, Rachel is entering.]
Rachel: Well, I was going to, but then I figured, you know... you're food is so delicious and perfect, you can never have too many of those pumpkin things.
Chandler: I am only one man! (Monica heads out) Okay Ross, time is up!
CHANDLER: All right. (reading her answer) "My husband is sleeping with his secretary." She's married!
Ross: Okay. (goes over to the counter) (to Chandler) What ah, what is the matter with you? Whats going on?
Ross: Phoebe, why is your bag moving?
Chandler: I'm not gonna talk to her, she obviously got my message and is choosing not to call me. Now I'm needy and snubbed. God, I miss just being needy.
Joey: What the hell is in there?
Phoebe: Well, freaked. Cause it turns out that the odds are really sucky. And! This is Frank and Alices like only shot. Like, they are literally putting all of their eggs in my basket.
Monica: Rosss apartment is nice! How come we don't hang out here more often?
Monica: Phoebe, why is there a dog in our apartment?
Mrs. Geller: Is everything all right, dear?
{Transcribers Note: This is an hour-long special episode. Which means that the first part of this episode is episode 615. The second part of this episode is episode 616. Since episodes 615 and 616 are combined into one file, thats why there is no episode 616 in the season 6 table of contents and the numbers jump from episode 615 to 617.}
Chandler: What is it doing here?
Ross: What is that? (refering to the sandwich)
Ross: She is not (Realizes) Shes gay. Oh my God. She is so gay! I cant believe this.
Chandler: (scared) Is there a puppy here?
Joey: Fine! Take their advice. No one ever listens to me. When the package is this pretty, no one cares what's inside.
[Cut to the balcony, Tag is looking down while Rachel enters.]
Monica: Look it is not my fault that your chairs are incredibly ugly!
Monica: (angrily) That is exactly why I do not lend you stuff!! (Rachel looks over at Phoebe in resignation.) Okay?! I mean, first it's my jewelry! And if it's not my jewelry, it's-it's my blue sweater! And if it's not my sweater, it's my sunglasses!
Rachel: Well, what is a boss for? Hug it out! (They hug)
Ross: Yknow, if, if this is too weird for you, we can still back out at (A knock on the door interrupts him.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is on the couch and Joey is entering.]
ROSS: Ok, ok look, see, the thing is we're, we're not gonna fight you guys.
Elizabeth: This is my father, Paul Stevens. Dad, this is Ross Geller.
Rachel: Well Joey, I hate to admit it, your way of sailing is a lot more fun.
(They both walk over to where Rachel is opening her gifts. Rachel sees her first gift is a fruit basket.)
Joey: Rach, there is a decent place to
Ross: That is so unfair!
Phoebe: His first big kids bike, this is so exciting!
Phoebe: Yeah, oh Im sorry, it must be really hard to hear! I tell ya, its a lot easier having three babies play Bringing in the Noise, Bringing in da Funk on your bladder! Im so sick of being pregnant! The only happiness I get is from a cup of coffee, which of course is decaf, causeOh! Im pregnant!
Receptionist: Oh that one is available now, but only identical twins are eligible. Its a twins study.
Monica: Hello? (Listens) What?! (Listens) You what?! (Listens) Hey you listen here missy! (Listens) Wh(She is hung up on.)
Rachel: Hi. Tag, I have a conference call today is that correct?
[Scene: Rachels Outer Office, Tag is sitting at his desk as Rachel walks up. She stops and watches him pick up the phone.]
Rachel: (taking off her sweater) Okay umm, Ross? I'm-I'm really warm, so I'm going to be taking off my sweater. Now, I'm just letting you know that this is not an invitation to the physical act of love.
Monica: (turning a light on) Who is that?!
Monica: Hi. Do you know what time it is?
Monica: Oh, Nancy Thompson from Phoebes old massage place is getting fired.
Chandler: Oh, come on Monica, reliving past pain and getting depressed is what Thanksgiving is all about. Y'know, for me anyway. And of course, the Indians.
Phoebe: (gasps) Does that mean Carcass is available?
Chandler: What is the matter with you?
(There is a knock on the door and Monica answers it. There is a woman standing there.)
Monica: What am I gonna do?! That is the dress! That is the dress! Wh Chandler wants the band. What do I do?