words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is playing foosball by himself, Joey enters]
CHANDLER: Well, I don't know what Big Leon told ya but it's an even thousand if you want me for the whole night. What is this for?
JOEY: Well, I'm makin money now and this is payin' you back for head shots, electric bills, and so many slices of pizza I can't even count. I love ya man.
JOEY: Hey, this is a little extra somethin' for uh, ya know, always bein' there for me. [hands Chandler a jewelry box]
[Scene: A kitchen somewhere. Monica is interviewing for a job]
INTERVIEWER: Uh-huh. Is it dirty?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting at the couch. Ross is sitting at the table and answers the phone.]
ROSS: Y-ello. No, Rachel's not here right now, can I take a message? Alright, and how do we spell Casey, is it like at the bat or and the Sunshine Band? OK, bye-bye. Hey, who's this uh, this Casey?
PHOEBE: What is that sparkly thing?
MONICA: Man, man that is sharp. It must have cost you quite a few debloons.
MONICA: Wow, that is a surprise. Just one little question, uh, why not Ross's room?
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting on couches. A beautiful woman is looking at Chandler.]
CHANDLER: What? [realizes it was the bracelet] Oh this is excellent. You know he coulda gotten me a VCR, he coulda gotten me a set of golf clubs, but no, he has to get me the woman repeller, the eyesore from the Liberace house of crap.
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is talking to a man at the counter. Ross and Phoebe are sitting at the couches.]
ROSS: Oh, oh my God, is this the wrong day? I don't believe it, uh, well, hey, I guess if it works out we'll, we'll have something to tell the grandkids.
RACHEL: Ross, there is no us, OK.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is there. Joey enters.]
CHANDLER: OK, well that's the part where I'm a wank. But I was hoping we wouldn't focus on that. [Joey goes to his room and shuts the door] Hey, c'mon man, I said I was sorry like a hundred times, I promise I will never take it off my. . . [notices the bracelet is missing from his wrist] wrist. But if, if you want to stay in there and be mad, you know, you just uh, you stay in there. [he starts searching the room, lifting up the couch cushions]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Mr. and Mrs. Geller are watching tennis on TV, Monica is sitting at the table]
MR. GELLER: A woman in my office is a lesiban. I'm just saying.
MR. GELLER: Judy, Judy, relax, this is our little harmonica we're talking about. We taught her well. Ten percent of your paycheck, where does it go?
CHANDLER: No, I can't. No no, listen, I, I know how much this means to you and I also know that this is about more than just jewelry, [puts bracelet on Joey] it's about you and me and the fact that we're [reading bracelet] best buds.
JOEY: Wow, is this friendship? I think so. Check it out, we're bracelet buddies.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Ross are standing in the kitchen. Ross is filling out a check]
PHOEBE: [Standing in living room with Chandler and Joey. She pulls a huge bathing suit out of a box] Hey, Mon, what is this?
JOEY: What is with your nose?
MONICA: You know what this is, this is us getting ready for the prom.
MR, GELLER: Wait, how do you zoom out? [zooms out and we see an extremely overweight Monica eating a big sandwich] There she is.
MR. GELLER: It is off.
MONICA: Dad, it is not. What's with the red light?
RACHEL: [the shoulders of her dress keep falling off her shoulders] Is my hook unhooked? These things keep falling down, I can't. . .
[Ross is sitting on the stairs with a laptop keyboard playing 'Axel-F']
RACHEL: I can't believe I don't get to go to my own prom, this is so harsh.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica is watching the rest of the tape]
[Monica is visibly upset]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is looking at papers.]
Phoebe: Okay, dont sweat it. (Looking around her.) Chandler is nowhere around so go ahead get it out of your system. That guys cute. (Points to a guy sitting behind Monica.)
Chandler: Rachel, what is the deal with you and doctors, anyway? Was, like, your father a doctor?
Joey: Oh, it is.
Joey: It is.
Lydia: Oh, that is so not true.
Molly: (goes out of the room) Hey! Guys, this is Tabatha (they kiss on the lips in a romantic way). (to Ross) I'll see you tomorrow.
Joey: You know what the Celtics problem is? They let the players run the team.
Ross: Who the hell is Jordie?
Phoebe: And on my way over here, I stepped in gum. ...What is up with the universe?!
Ross: Please. This is so your fault.
Susan: How, how is this my fault?
(Phoebe goes to leave the room, but the door is locked.)
Chandler: That is so weird, because every time I go to the dentist, I look down the hygienists blouse.
Ross: Except we're not. I mean, we haven't been a couple in like, six years. Oh my god, is that right? Has it been that long?
Rachel: (entering from her room) Hey guys do you think this is too sluttyHi Kash!
Monica: This is it. Yeah, this is the one. I cant believe I found it!
(She hugs him and he starts to hug her back but notices the look Phoebe is giving him and pushes her away.)
Chandler: I would have to say that is an 'L'-shaped bracket.
[Scene: Monicas birthday, Monica is now dressed and is being helped out by Chandler and Rachel.]
Lydia: No, this is a loaner.
Guy: Your mom called me. So is this her?
Rachel: It's so that I can spend Thanksgiving with my family. See, every year we go skiing in Vail, and normally my father pays for my ticket, but I sort of started the whole independence thing, you know, which is actually why I took this job.
ROSS: No look I wasn''t right, that's what I came here to tell you. I was totally hung up on, on my own stuff. Listen, I'm someone who needs the whole security thing, ya know. To know exactly where my next paycheck is coming from buy you, you don't need that and that's amazing to me. I could never do what you do Joey.
Phoebe: This is so great.
[Scene: Estelle's memorial service. Joey is giving a speech. Next to him is a blown op photograph of Estelle behind her desk and there's a man standing next to him.]
Susan: Oh, hes fine. Hes fine. Its just that us getting along is difficult for him, because he doesnt like me.
RACHEL: Well, the point is, maybe I should just stop waiting around for moments with Ross, you know?� I should just . . . move on with my life.
Joey: No! (She nods no to Chandler) Because he didn't believe in my movie! Which is a big mistake because it is real! Real!
Joey: Ew! What is that? Something exploded!
Susan: You know what your problem is? You're threatened by me.
Ross: (to Ben) I know, I know. Everybody, there's someone I'd like you to meet. Yeah. This is Ben. Ben, this is everybody.
Ross: No, this is pretty much it.
Monica: He is so amazing.
(Ross is practically drooling over Rachel at this point.)
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Joey are living here and Ross is writing on the Magna-Doodle when Rachel opens the door causing the door knob to hit his hand.]
Joey: Well, is it, like, a little annoying, or is it like when Phoebe chews her hair?
Joey: Then you gotta come clean with Ma! This is not right!
[Scene: Joey and Lydia in the hospital room. Lydia is on the phone with her mother.]
Chandler: This is the New York Times.
Joey: I didnt tell him. I didnt know if you were telling people. This is back when I thought Kash was still people.
Joey: Well, the tough thing is, she really wants to have sex with me.
Rachel: Ross, those things go like 40 miles an hour! Ok? When you're... and there is that moment when you are at the top, when you just don't know if you're gonna return back to earth!
[Scene: Lydia's Room, Joey is helping her deliver.]
Phoebe: So you do know who he is! (laughs, Ross stares at her) Sorry.
Ross: Okay, maybe this is so hard, because there aren't 50 states. Let me tell you something, I have 49 states, and there are no more! I-I think, I should be able to eat something.
Ross: Oh, okay, yknow what this is? This is a difference of opinion. And when that happens in a marriage...
[Time lapse. Melanie, Joey's girlfriend, is there with Joey, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel. Ross is gone.]
Lowell: Speaking for my people, I'd have to say no. By the way, your friend Brian from Payroll, he is.
Rachel: Are you joking? Check out is not til noon and he has a good (checks her watch) eleven minutes left.
Rachel: (Into microphone) Central Perk is proud to present Miss Phoebe Buffay.
(It's only when the camera cuts to Ross's apartment that we see that the TV is turned off and Ross is indeed doing a bit. He then tries to hide his smirk.)
Joey: No way! Mr.Salty is a sailor, all right, he's got to be, like, thetoughest snack there is.
Rachel: OK, I'm guessing this is from...
Melanie: There is a little child inside this man!
Phoebe: I know. This is really, really huge.
Rachel: I mean, this is unbelievable.
Joey: No, no, no, don't you dare bail on me. The only reason she's goin' out with me is because I said I could bring a friend for her friend.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is just getting off of the intercom and turns off the TV which is still in the SAP mode.]
Joey: Aww, I don't know Monica y'know... erm... lending friends money is always a mistake.
Monica: Is there? Is there someone else?
Sandy: No, none at all. You need to be happy with whoever is in your home... Although if you don't mind telling me, what was your problem? Maybe it's something I can work on in the future.
Aunt Iris: Is Tony Randall dead?
Monica: No, you can't! Friends hooking up is a bad idea.
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is sitting on the couch alone working on a crossword puzzle. Gunther is there, going into the back room.]
Monica: Oh my God, it was the best funeral ever! I mean, everyone loved the food, and guess what? I even got another funeral for tomorrowthe dead-guy-from-today's best friend. I mean, it is like I am the official caterer for that accident!
Rachel: Who is it?
Monica: Okay. (They both jump up to head for there room, but Monica stops.) But wait, we cant. My Cousin Cassie is in the guest room, were supposed to have lunch.
Monica: I can't believe Emma is still asleep!
Monica: Joey! Why is Janine not coming over for dinner?!
Monica: All right, Rachel's party is in a couple of hours and there's a lot to do. Now, Ross, you got Geller blood, you're in charge of these yahoos!
Ross: Well, where do I start? This is Julie. Julie, this is Rachel.
Ross: Everyone, this is Julie.
Phoebe: Oh my god. This is huge. This is bigger than huge. This is like, all right, what's bigger than huge?
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is there as Chandler enters.]
ROSS: I don't believe this. I miss, I miss the first time of everything. I missed, what, the first time he rolled over, the first time he crawled. What else did I miss? Has he spoken yet, is he driving, does he have a favorite liquour?
[Scene: Central Perk, the whole gang is there, Ross is telling a story about what happened at work and the rest of the gang are thinking to themselves, denoted by italics.]
Rachel: How is that the silver lining?
Monica: Would you look at her? She is so peaceful.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, (And thats the last time for that line, no more Chandler and Joeys or Monica and Rachels, ever!) Joey and Ross are carrying the last table of Rachels. Rachel follows slowly, but is stopped by Monica.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is balancing an aluminum can on her stomach as Ross enters.]
[Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross is trying to open the door with a credit card, with no success.]
Rachel: At his apartment. Is this juice?
[Scene: The Banquet Room, Chandler is under one of the tables as Ross enters.]
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there except for Chandler. Rachel is writing something and Monica walks up.]
Rachel: Yeah, he's back. Is that a problem?
Ross: No real-, honey, really its fine, just g-go with Susan. Really, I, no, I think girls night out is a great idea. Okay, okay, bye
Rachel: How is she?
Ross: You're just jealous because you couldn't pull this off. Yeah, now if you'll excuse me (getting up and taking his coat) I have a date. (As he is walking out, everyone turns and stares at him) See? (To Joey) ALL eyes on ME!
(With his index finger he shows her how old she is. Emma also points her finger and babbles...)
(Rachel taps into view; she is in perfect sync with the rest of the class)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, later that day. Monica is now out and about.]
Ross: Well, technically it seven billion years ago (Well, technically youd be able to see it for days, well nights; that is if you could see it with all of the bright lights of New York.)
CHAN: [slowly lifts coffee cup to his mouth] Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. [slowly sets the cup back down] Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. [Joey intercepts the cup and puts it down for him]. She's insane, the woman is insane. It's before work, it's after work, it's during work. She's got me doing butt clenches at my desk. And now, they won't bring me my mail anymore.
Chandler (Stands up and walks to Joey): Listen...this is really nice. Do you... (sees his chequebook) Did you write a cheque to Monica for two thousand dollars? Did Monica borrow money from you?
Ross: Look, would you guys grow up? That is the most natural beautiful thing in the world.
Ross: I told you it wasn�t long, but there is an amazing connection between us.
Joey: Everything is gonna be fine. Just follow my lead, okay? All you have to do is pretend to be Mike.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there as Monica enters.]
[Scene: The Department Store, Joey is trying to sell some cologne.]