words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel is still looking out the window as Joey enters.]
Rachel: Ross is on a date with my sister and they shut the drapes two and a-half-hours ago.
Rachel: Yeah. And yknow who shouldve shut their drapes? Is that perverted old couple two doors over.
Chandler: (looking) Is that a swing?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is on the couch reading as Rachel enters. Its the next day.]
Ross: (while Rachel is finishing her rant) Okay! Okay! Okay! Its okay. (Rachel stops.) Its okay. Hey, its too weird for you, I wont see her again.
Rachel: Oh no! No! No-no-no-no! No, I mean come on thats-thats crazyI mean thats crazy. So whats-whats going on with you? What is going on with you?
Monica: (crying) This is my favorite part.
(We see the TV and its the last scene where ET is saying goodbye.)
Chandler: (totally not crying) Well see now that I can see crying over, but Bambi is a cartoon!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is putting away her guitar as a man approaches.]
[Scene: Central Perk, time lapse, Rachel is at the counter as Jill enters.]
Rachel: Ohhh well. Yknow what honey? The best thing to do to get over a guy is to start dating someone else. Oh! There is this great guy you will love at work named Bob! Hes a real up-and-comer in Human Resources.
Rachel: Look, this is not that big of a deal! You just dont date Ross! Theres a million other guys out there, you just
Rachel: Jill this is not about me being jealous of you! This is about you being a brat! Wanting what you cant have!
Jill: Cant have?! Excuse me, the only thing I cant have is dairy! (Starts to storm out.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel is ranting about Jill to Chandler and Monica.]
Rachel: I am jealous of her?! I mean who does she think she is?! Princess Caroline?!
Ross: Hey! Uh, Phoebes not here is she?
Monica: This is so bizarre. I guess it kinda makes sense though, yknow she had such a terrible childhood.
Joey: No! Hey no! This is wrong you guys! Phoebes our friend! Well, Im not gonna watch it!
(At this point, Buffay, the Vampire Layer and Nasforatool start to get it on. Of course, since this is network TV, we can only see the reactions of the gang to the film playing off screen.)
Monica: Hold on a second! What is that on her ankle?
Chandler: Her ankle is what youre watching?
Rachel: Oh, its a tattoo! Thats weird, Phoebe doesnt Wait thats Ursula! Thats not Phoebe that is Ursula!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is reading Chicken Soup for the Soul as Monica enters.]
Monica: What is wrong with you?!!!
[Scene: Ross's apartment, his doorbell is ringing and hes running to answer it while doing up his pants.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandlers, Rachel is entering.]
Rachel: Well, is Ross home? Maybe Ill just call him to see if hes actually seen her.
(She goes to look out the window at Rosss apartment and sees Jill staring at her and closing the drapes with an evil look on her face. Rachel is stunned into silence.)
[Scene: Ursulas apartment, Phoebe is going to confront her twin about her new porn career.]
Ursula: Who is it?
(Ursula opens the door and is all dressed up with big hair and lingerie.)
Ursula: Yknow, twin stuff is always a real big seller.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is setting up for the slide show.]
Jill: Yeah. Ooh, I know what this is missing! Alcohol!
Rachel: (on phone) What is my sister doing there?! And why are the drapes shut?!
Rachel: Ross! I think she is trying to make something happen with you to get back at me!
Rachel: Ross, I am telling you that she is using you to get back at me!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is reading a paper as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Yeah. (She notices some guy putting a coat on his girlfriend is trying to remember where hes seen her before.) (To him) Youre trying to figure out where you know me from? All right, Ill give you a hint. From porn! Okay? (He tries to rush his girlfriend out.) Yeah your pervert boyfriend watched me in a porno movie! (To Joey) See?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, time lapse, Ross is entering. Chandler and Monica are at the kitchen table. Rachel is on the couch reading.]
Ross: No, I mean, look I dont know if anything is going to happen with us, again. Ever. But I dont want to know that it-it never could. So I stopped it and she got mad and broke my projector.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there as Jill enters.]
Monica: Oh, relinquish is just a fancy word for lose!
Phoebe: Okay, bye. Alright, so Mike's on his way over. See, you thought you guys were meeting here, and he thought you were meeting at the restaurant, so you know... Doesn't really matter who's right or wrong. Point is... I'm gonna take off.
Joey: Is that a sandwich?!
Chandler: Im leaning. This is where I lean.
ROSS: This is so exciting, I haven't seen my monkey in almost a year.
The Teacher: Oh, their number is on the contact sheet.
Chandler: This is the worst bachelor party ever!
Rachel: Oh Joey this is crazy!
Kathy's Co-Star: Is that an expensive blouse?
Rachel: Oh my God, who is it?! (Phoebe rolls her eyes.)
Rachel: (answering the phone) Hello? (listens) Yeah, this is she. (listens) Oh! Youre kidding! Youre kidding! (listens) Oh thank you! I love you!
Trudie Styler: Oh Im sorry, Jacks father is not available.
[Scene: The Street, Chandler is carrying Monica past a store window.]
Ross: Okay! Okay! Fine, Ill stop! No teaching, okay? Well just watch the pretty light streaking across the sky. (Comets dont streak across the sky, meteors do.) Okay? Whos official name is Bapstein-King.
Tag: No. (Unzips his coat.) This is my red sweater.
Mike: All right, stop! You know, all Phoebe has done tonight is trying to get you to like her. And maybe that hasn't been clear all the time, but she did her best. And yeah... She's a little different than you are...
Joey: (to Dina) You were right. He is funny.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Will has left and the rest of the gang is watching Joey finish the turkey.]
Rachel: So forcing her to marry Bobby is gonna make that happen?
Joshua: You okay? (Rachel swallowed it whole and is not hacking like a heavy smoker in the morning.) You all right? (Rachel walks away, coughing.)
Chandler: (watching TV, in fact, ER is on.) Nothing! It's over! Dammit! This is regularly scheduled programming!
Phoebe: Wait a second! This is about the fourth month of your pregnancy, right?
Monica: We left Joey alone with the food! (Walks towards the window and looks out) Yep! Yep, I knew it! There he is... feeding stuffing to a dog!
[Scene: Chandlers Office, his boss Doug is entering, Monica is there as well.]
Joey: All right! There is something. I kinda had a dream, (pause) but I don't want to talk about it. (Starts for his room.)
Ross: Huh. Wow, this is great.
Mona: Yknow, like where are we? Where is this relationship going?
[Scene: The librarys Paleontology section, Ross is patrolling as a couple walks up.]
Phoebe: Oh, hi Chandler. It's Phoebe. Uhm... I know that Monica is working today so...(back to Central Perk) ...I was wondering if you want to come to the movies with me and Rachel.
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe is putting out some Sunflower seeds as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Okay, even this is turning me on!
[Scene: Silvercup Studios, Joey has won the part of dying man and is now able to play the role he was injured for. Chandler is helping to carry him in.]
Phoebe: YEAH...! How great is this...? (they kiss)
Monica: That is a slap in the face.
[Scene: Chandlers Office, Doug is entering.]
Chandler: Allright, I'm gonna watch it... I mean look, it's probably not even what I think it is... And even if it is... It can't possibly be as bad as what I'm picturing in my head... (laughs nervously) Can it?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is getting Mona some coffee.]
Mona: You dont think this is too fast.
Ross: Ok, ok, now what is wrong with my Snuggles? What, it says I'm a sensitive, warm kinda guy, you know, like a warm, fuzzy bear. Ok, I can pick something else up on the way.
Rachel: I-I dont want your job. I-I dont. Ohh this is such a mistake. I did not make out with him. Nobody made out with him. I did not use my keycard yesterday. I dont even know how to use my keycard. (The elevator stops. Ralph steps on.)
Phoebe: Hi! Okay, Monica, Rachel, this is my friend Roger.
Monica: Oh wait, Chandler, come here is there anything I can do? Anything?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is writing a letter by the bay window as Rachel enters.]
[Scene: Ross's apartment, his massage client is on the table and Ross is reluctantly starting his massage. He spreads some lotion in his hands, and doesnt like it.]
Phoebe: Okay. (The gang is giggles then Phoebe gets the bike out of the rack, gets on, pushes off, rolls a few feet, and falls over.) See?
Ross: No. That guy is.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is reading a magazine as Tim enters.]
[Scene: The hallway, Rachel is convincing Ross that Emily is good for him.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is on the phone.]
Ross: A ferry? My baby is going on a ferry? Do you have any idea how dangerous those are?!
Chandler: I didn't know you were taking a class. That is so cool.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is there as Phoebe enters.]
(They head in separate directions and Chandler emerges and hes so shocked that his cigarette is hanging from his lip.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is eating pizza as Joey returns from the Knicks game.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Monica are there as Joey is entering excitedly.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is watching Phoebe play Ms. Pac-Man.]
Chandler: Oh my God! That is so not the opposite of taking somebody's underwear!!
Joey: Ah Hey, so this roommate of yours is he good looking?
[Scene: N.Y.U, Ross is teaching a class.]
Rachel: Oh, I love to ski! How amazing is this?!
[Scene: A Restaurant, a waitress is taking Joey and Rachels dinner order.]
Joey: Noo-no-no, no, those are nicknames. Im the chick and Chandler is the duck.
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Ross is living with Chandler and Joey. Joey and Ross have built a fort out of boxes, Chandler enters and they stand up slowly.]
Rachel: Okay. Wow! So I get to see what Joey Tribbiani is like on a date. So do you have any moves?
Ross: Rachel please! That is so inappropriate!
Joey: Yeah, it is. Its really tough. Yknow sometimes I thinkWow!! Nice move!
Monica: What is the matter with your hand?
Monica: You think this is clever?
Chandler: It is when you put it together with that one.
[Scene: Chandler is packing the broken china in its box. He's taping up the top of box so thoroughly, there isn't an inch of cardboard which isn't covered in tape. He is struggling with the tape dispenser.]
Melissa: anyway, his name is Allan and weve been going out for three years. He was my first client when I became a party planner. He was planning a party for his girlfriend at the time. Oh well. (Rachel and Phoebe politely laugh) And he was Theta Beta Pi at Syracuse.
Rachel: Well that is because you have never been on a date with me before.
Monica: Oh my God, me too! Oh! Oh, we'd be like friends-in-law! Y'know what the best part is? The best part is that you already know everything about him! I mean, it's like starting on the fifteenth date!
Phoebe: (excited) John Glenn is here?!
Chandler: Is it loaded? Oh, little candy hearts. (reading the candy) Chan and Jan Forever.
Joey: Is that college talk for horny?
Frank: Okay, so what you used to have with Rachel, is what Ive got with Alice.
Monica: But Ben is coming over tonight and he cant see this.
Chandler: What is the point of having them if we never use them?
[Scene: A Restaurant, Joey is on his hot date and theyre not speaking right now.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is on the couch as Monica joins him.]
Rachel: Yes! But what is wrong with this dog?!
Will: Ross is coming. Great! I love Ross!
Joey: wow, the parade is really good this year. Man those horses can crap.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is getting advice from Ross and Joey.]
Kristen: I studied for a year in Barcelona. (Ross is stunned and worried.)
Chandler: What is it?
Monica: All I have is, is oregano and a Fresca.
[Scene: The Doctors Office, the doctor is writing something as Rachel is on the table, and Ross is standing.]
Joey: All right, okay, this is great, uh, Chandler, you get behind the desk. And-and when she comes in hopefully, she wont recognise you because, well, why would she? Uh, okay, and then you buzz Ross and I. (to Ross) You be Mr. Gonzalez, and Ill be uh, Mr. Wong.
[Scene: The Wedding Hall, Monica and Chandler have just said "I do," and the photographer is taking the required pictures. First of Monica, Chandler, Ross and Joey.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, late at night Monica is still examining her bill as Rachel emerges from her room.]
Monica: My god, if I had a nickel for every guy I wish I hadn't...(Everyone looks at her), but this is about your horrible mistake.
[Scene: Chandler and Monicas, Monica is entering.]
(Monica runs out to Phoebe, who is in the kitchen)
Phoebe: (Groans) Is it Chandler?
Monica: Is it something youd be interested in?
Ross: Look, all I know is I-I cant have another failed marriage!
Phoebe: No-no-no, I know, but you and I are different people though, and this is a totally different situation, and I know that I am not gonna regret this.
[Scene: Central perk, Ross is sitting on the chair as Rachel walks in.]