words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there but Ross and Joey. Gunther hands them the bill, and Chandler gives some money to pay it.]
Phoebe: Okay, dime! (Donates that.) You guys should probably keep talking; this could take a while. (Finds something else.) Oh no, wait! Look it! Whoa! (Looks at it.) Oh my God, this is a police badge!
Monica: Oh yes, it is. I'm sorry I borrowed it, I was cold. I hope its okay?
[Scene: A couch store, Ross is trying to decide on a new couch for his place. He has dragged Rachel along for the trip, and she's not too happy about it. Ross is sitting on it in different ways to see how it feels. He tries to just sit on it normally, and then he tries flopping on it. One thing about this couch, it's huge. It's like twice the size of a normal full size couch. Whoever designed this thing, needs help and fast.]
Ross: (To Rachel) Yeah, I still don't know. (To the salesman who is hovering nearby) I'm sorry I just wanna make sure that I bought the right couch. I need a couch that says, "Kids welcome here." But that also says, (In a sexy voice) "Come here to me!"
Ross: No! No! No! The "Come here to me" is y'know for the ladies.
Ross: Oh, sure. Whoa-whoa, what's this? The delivery charge is almost as much as the couch!
Rachel: Yeah! (She puts on her coat and turns around and sees Ross is expecting her to help.) (Laughing.) Are you kiddin'?
Rachel: (Disgustedly she goes and tries to pick up the couch. Much to her amazement, she is successful.) Oh. Oh! I can do it!
[Scene: Outside of Central Perk, Phoebe is exiting and sees a woman put out her cigarette on a tree.]
(They start the attempt. Ross is going backwards and reaches the first landing. This staircase has three steps then a landing, makes a 90-degree turn, and has more steps before another landing and another 90-degree turn.)
Ross: Okay, go left. Left! Left! (The bottom of the couch is hitting the railing.)
Rachel: Okay, y'know what? There is no more left, left!
(She can't stay at the end as the couch rounds the turn so she shifts to the back corner of the couch and is at a 90-degree angle to it.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe is telling Chandler and Monica how she fought crime in her own way with the badge she found.]
Chandler: Okay, but impersonating a police officer is a serious thing. You could get arrested.
Monica: What is going on with you?
Joey: All right! There is something. I kinda had a dream, (pause) but I don't want to talk about it. (Starts for his room.)
Chandler: You had a dream about a girl that I am seeing?! Oh, that is so cool! (To Monica) I can't tell you how many times I've dreamt about a girl that he was seeing. (Seeing Monica's stare.) (To Joey) Anyway we're talking about your dream. (To Monica) I love you. (To Joey) Your dream? (Leans in to listen closely.)
Monica: Well sure! I'm just wearing sweats! (Looking at Chandler and slowly realizing what his point is.) But that's good that you're not in love with me, because you just want a girlfriend!
(They realize the implication of their behavior, stop instantly and head for his bedroom. In the meanwhile, Joey is starring at Rachel in a seductive way.)
(Rachel is stunned.)
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Phoebe is walking up and notices a car that is parked half on the curb and right in front of the door, making it difficult for people to enter Central Perk.]
Phoebe: Excuse me, is this your car?
Cop: Who-who else is in vice up there?
Cop: (following her) Hey by the way, I'm sure Sipowicz is gonna be all right. I heard that kid from Silver Spoons is really good. (Phoebe's stunned) And where did you find my badge?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering. Rachel is there getting some tools to help Ross out.]
Joey: is because they were friends first. Y'know? So I asked myself, "Who are my friends?" You and Phoebe, and I saw you first. So
Rachel: (laughs and pushes the chair back in) Yeah, well, y'know umm No honey, listen I think it's a great idea to become friends with someone before you date them, but I think the way you do it is y'know you meet someone, become their friend, build a foundation, then you ask them out on a date. Don't hit on your existing friends!
Chandler: Y'know, I would be offended, but Monica is freakishly strong, so
Ross: All right. (They start up the stairs. Ross is first.) Okay, here we go!
(Chandler has moved forward and is now underneath the couch as it heads up the first set of stairs.)
Ross: Oh yeah it will! Come on, up! Up-up-up! Up! Yes! Here we go! Pivot! (They start up the stairs again. Chandler is between the couch and the wall now.) Pivot! Piv-ot! Piv-et!! Piv-ett!!! Piv-et!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is returning and finds Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering with a pizza and finds everyone but Ross there.]
(They all throw their pieces back as there is a knock on the door.)
Monica: Who is it?
[Scene: The couch store, Ross is talking to a saleswoman.]
Ross: This couch, is cut in half! I would like to exchange it for one that is not cut in half!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Everyone is helping clean the table.]
Phoebe: (looking through the pizzas) Okay pepperoni, pepperoni, pepperoni, okay Ross, I know she's pretty and you love her, but is she stupid?! She forgot my vegetarian!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Phoebe is still writing in her book, Chandler and Monica are in the kitchen as Joey enters.]
JOEY: Phoebs look, if you want to know what the deal is, you're just gonna have to ask him.
SUSIE: How come all I can think about is putting that ice in my mouth and licking you all over?
Joey: If the Homo Sapiens, were in fact Homo-sapien, is that why there extinct?
[Cut to later, Phoebe is still in the chair and Rachel is laying down as Monica enters.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Julie is wanting to get her hair cut from Phoebe.]
[Scene: A lobby, Ross is waiting for Rachel, after her interview.]
(the receptions is puzzled. She goes in the back.)
(Walks out and after he closes the door Phoebe turns around and takes a bite out of what is left of his candy bar.)
Phoebe: Really? It doesn't have anything coming out of it. Or maybe there is some place for her in your bedroom?
Joey: But it is a big deal!! I have to tell someone!
CHANDLER: Yes, Janice. Why is that so difficult for you to comprehend?
ROSS: Y-ello. No, Rachel's not here right now, can I take a message? Alright, and how do we spell Casey, is it like at the bat or and the Sunshine Band? OK, bye-bye. Hey, who's this uh, this Casey?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is coming back from work to find Phoebe, Rachel, and someone else with her back turned is there.]
Ross: Yes, yes, fine, that is my penis. Can we be grown-ups now?
Richard: Okay, okay, one things changed. But we still want different things and we know how this is gonna end.
Joey: You can't just give up! Is that what a dinosaur would do?
Chandler: She is gonna recognize that I did a nice thing and-and, appreciate it.
Chandler: I'd keep an eye on him! We have to find out which one the father is.
[Scene: Monica's bedroom, Phoebe is finishing with her haircut and Monica is whincing.]
Rachel: Well, first of all, Paulo and I are not back together. It was just a stupid thing I did, and if I could go back in time and do it again, well, I wouldn't. Um, second of all (Ross is laughing), what?
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Carol is running to answer the door.]
Ross: Oh no! That-thatll just bring me down! This was great! I mean I-I-I was great! This is a great day! Yknow what? Im buying everyone coffee. All right? If someone would just grab my wallet, its in my pocket.
Phoebe: Well, Frank has to quit college because his super fertile sister is having three babies! I need to make a lot of money really fast, and I had an idea that I want to talk to you (Points to Chandler) about, cause you work for a big company. Okay, insider trading, what information is there that you can give me.
Monica: This is so cool, maybe this is something you can do every week.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is waiting impatiently for Joshua.]
[Scene: A Restaurant, Chandler and Phoebe are entering. This is the place where the guy who bought Chandlers ring is going to propose.]
Ross: And what(notices the stenographer is still typing)What are you typing that for? Did you hear what she said? We dont get the annulment. Dont type that! What?! Stop typing! (He goes over to where the stenographer is typing and in the process pushes Rachel out of his way.) Hey! Stop typing! (Hes still typing.) Stop typing! Stop typing!!
Ross: (to Elizabeth) And that is why we cannot see each other anymore.
CHANDLER AND JOEY: Hi. We're the guys who called about the baby. We left the baby on ths bus. Is he here? Is he here?
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe and Rachel are waiting for the cute guy to show up for his cell phone. Rachel is putting on perfume by spraying it ahead of her face, and moving into it. Phoebe tries to steal some.]
[Scene: Rosss Apartment, Rachel is entering and Ross is making some room on the shelves for his stuff.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, first season, Monica is making a giant sub-sandwich and is talking to Rachel. I think its The One With Fake Monica.]
Joey: I know, and only one layer of jam?! What is up with that?
Chandler: Wow, Ralph Lauren is really going out of there way to show theyre not in the baby buying business.
Chandler: Well, at least the perfume is not mine, be thankful for that!
Joey: Alright Ross, look. You're feeling a lot of pain right now. You're angry. You're hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is?
Chandler: See Joe, not that thats not grrreat! But, one of the cool things about having somebody we know perform the ceremony is that it can be about us! Yknow, it can be more personal. You can tell stories about us!
Rachel: Yeah I know. She ran into him at my office and they just made out. And the craziest thing is, now my boss likes me because I told her about it and she said it was the best gossip shed heard all year.
Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and- not having sex.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is there eating breakfast. Chandler is cleaning out his wallet.]
Rachel: Umm, well lets see uh, this one is Tom Brokaw.
Monica:: Is this not the good part? Do you want me to fast forward to something a little toothier.
Phoebe: Okay. (on phone) Ooh, Im setting the phone down. (does so) But Im still here! Just dont go anywhere Im still here. (starts to put on the sweater) Dont-dont switch or anything, cause Im, Im right here. (She has pulled the sweater over her head, but her head is stuck in a sleeve.) Just one sec. One sec! One second!! (She is now frantically trying to get the sweater on, as Monica returns from the bathroom.) Wait! One second! Just
Monica: This is crazy! I mean, it's such a stupid argument. I don't even wanna see Richard again.
[Scene: The Subway, Phoebe is singing for change.]
Joey: Ah, well, if I want the girl to kiss me, first thing I do is make my lips look irresistible.
Rachel: Ooh, is this one of those things where you throw it in a bag with some graveyard dirt and hang it from a north-facing tree?
Monica: That's right. [Scene: Monica's Apartment, Rachel is talking on the phone and pacing.]
[Scene: Ross's Apartment; Ross is pacing while Joey and Chandler are working on some more furniture.]
Phoebe: All right. (she releases him). He is a good guy. You’re right, he wouldn’t cheat.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is telling Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler about Emily's ultimatum.]
Chandler: That is amazing.
Phoebe: Aw! Hey, do you think that Susan person is her lover?
Chandler: Hi, Paul, is it?
Joey: But you gotta have turkey on Thanksgiving! I mean, Thanksgiving with no turkey is like-like Fourth of July with no apple pie! Or Friday with no two pizzas!
Rachel: Oh, he is precious! Where did you get him?
Chandler: This is exactly the kind of social situation that I am not comfortable with!
Joey: How come you have two? Chandler: Well this one's for you. Joey: Get out. Chandler: No, I can't. No-no, listen, I, I know how much this means to you and I also know that this is about more than just jewelry, (Puts bracelet on Joey) it's about you and me and the fact that we're (Reading bracelet) best buds. Joey: Wow, is this friendship? I think so. Check it out, we're bracelet buddies. Chandler: That's what they'll call us. [The next one is from Episode 618: The One Where Ross Dates A Student.]
Monica: Okay, I've broken them down into categories. Okay, we have uh, we got holidays, birthdays, candids, y'know And then what I've done is I've cross-referenced them by subject. Right? So if you're looking up, oh let's say birthdays and dogs, you get Photo 152. See? (Hands her the photo.)
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Rachel is there.]
[Scene: Rosss Bedroom, Ross is waking up. He straightens himself out on the bed and puts the covers over his head.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is coming back from using the phone.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Ross is telling Rachel and Monica about yet another mistake hes made with a woman.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is sitting around the kitchen table. Rachel's credit cards are spread out on the table along with a pair of scissors.]
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is there as Rachel enters.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Paul is writing something as Rachel enters.]
[Scene: The Jewelry Store, Phoebe is busy trying on virtually everything in the store. Shes got earrings, rings, bracelets, and enough necklaces to put Mr. T to shame on.]
[Scene: outside Phoebe's apartment, Monica is knocking on the door.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the game is coming to a close.]
Rachel: Hi, my name is Rachel Green, I have an appointment for Emma.
Monica: Whose little ball of paper is this?!
Ross: Im sorry man. (Formally dressed people start to enter.) Heres a thought. This is the same ballroom. Theres a band. Theres gonna be plenty of dressed up people.
Vince: (dead serious) Fire safety is not a joke, son.
[Scene: Joey's Apartment, the guys are still playing the game only everyone is really into it.]
Phoebe: You guys, you know what I just realized? 'Joker' is 'poker' with a 'J.' Coincidence?
Rachel: No, but they stuck me in personal shopping. Which is just a huge step down!
Phoebe: (while everyone else is stunned) Ooh! I found it!
Phoebe: She is so great! I miss her.
Joey: .....Well, this is still ruined, right?
Phoebe: Oh, this is so intense. One side of my butt is totally asleep, and the other side has no idea.
Joey: All right, all we need is a little lighter fluid.
[Time Lapse, everyone is now eating.]
Chandler: Why are you in here if Joshua is all the way over there? (Points to the living room.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is closing up and Ross comes in. Get your Kleenex.]
Ross: You even have to ask?! (He grabs a lollypop out of a jar) (Sees Rachel) (To Rachel) He is alive!
[Scene: A Theater, there is a casting session going on for a play.]
(The duck starts to frantically flap his wings, while Joey is holding him, in an attempt to get away.)
[Another group of flashbacks begin with Episode 513: The One With Joeys Bag. Joey is carrying the bag and has entered Central Perk to the amusement of Ross and Chandler.]
Ross: Science. Yeah, I think I've heard of that. (everyone's interest is piqued, they all look over)
Ross: ..Dr. Oberman. Okay. And is he-
Joey: Are you kidding? I love that guy! (Starts singing) Mornings here! Morning is here
The Director: Hang on a minute! Joey, you keep touching your face. Is something wrong?
Ross: (walks over to where Monica is standing)Monica. Whaddya think?
Monica: Oh God, is it 6:30? Buzz him in!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment, everyone is watching the tape of the sonogram. Rachel is on the phone.]
Monica: That is completely untrue. You think Im high maintenance? Okay, prove it. I want you to make a list and were going to go through it point by point!