words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there but Ross and Joey. Gunther hands them the bill, and Chandler gives some money to pay it.]
Phoebe: Okay, dime! (Donates that.) You guys should probably keep talking; this could take a while. (Finds something else.) Oh no, wait! Look it! Whoa! (Looks at it.) Oh my God, this is a police badge!
Monica: Oh yes, it is. I'm sorry I borrowed it, I was cold. I hope its okay?
[Scene: A couch store, Ross is trying to decide on a new couch for his place. He has dragged Rachel along for the trip, and she's not too happy about it. Ross is sitting on it in different ways to see how it feels. He tries to just sit on it normally, and then he tries flopping on it. One thing about this couch, it's huge. It's like twice the size of a normal full size couch. Whoever designed this thing, needs help and fast.]
Ross: (To Rachel) Yeah, I still don't know. (To the salesman who is hovering nearby) I'm sorry I just wanna make sure that I bought the right couch. I need a couch that says, "Kids welcome here." But that also says, (In a sexy voice) "Come here to me!"
Ross: No! No! No! The "Come here to me" is y'know for the ladies.
Ross: Oh, sure. Whoa-whoa, what's this? The delivery charge is almost as much as the couch!
Rachel: Yeah! (She puts on her coat and turns around and sees Ross is expecting her to help.) (Laughing.) Are you kiddin'?
Rachel: (Disgustedly she goes and tries to pick up the couch. Much to her amazement, she is successful.) Oh. Oh! I can do it!
[Scene: Outside of Central Perk, Phoebe is exiting and sees a woman put out her cigarette on a tree.]
(They start the attempt. Ross is going backwards and reaches the first landing. This staircase has three steps then a landing, makes a 90-degree turn, and has more steps before another landing and another 90-degree turn.)
Ross: Okay, go left. Left! Left! (The bottom of the couch is hitting the railing.)
Rachel: Okay, y'know what? There is no more left, left!
(She can't stay at the end as the couch rounds the turn so she shifts to the back corner of the couch and is at a 90-degree angle to it.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe is telling Chandler and Monica how she fought crime in her own way with the badge she found.]
Chandler: Okay, but impersonating a police officer is a serious thing. You could get arrested.
Monica: What is going on with you?
Joey: All right! There is something. I kinda had a dream, (pause) but I don't want to talk about it. (Starts for his room.)
Chandler: You had a dream about a girl that I am seeing?! Oh, that is so cool! (To Monica) I can't tell you how many times I've dreamt about a girl that he was seeing. (Seeing Monica's stare.) (To Joey) Anyway we're talking about your dream. (To Monica) I love you. (To Joey) Your dream? (Leans in to listen closely.)
Monica: Well sure! I'm just wearing sweats! (Looking at Chandler and slowly realizing what his point is.) But that's good that you're not in love with me, because you just want a girlfriend!
(They realize the implication of their behavior, stop instantly and head for his bedroom. In the meanwhile, Joey is starring at Rachel in a seductive way.)
(Rachel is stunned.)
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Phoebe is walking up and notices a car that is parked half on the curb and right in front of the door, making it difficult for people to enter Central Perk.]
Phoebe: Excuse me, is this your car?
Cop: Who-who else is in vice up there?
Cop: (following her) Hey by the way, I'm sure Sipowicz is gonna be all right. I heard that kid from Silver Spoons is really good. (Phoebe's stunned) And where did you find my badge?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering. Rachel is there getting some tools to help Ross out.]
Joey: is because they were friends first. Y'know? So I asked myself, "Who are my friends?" You and Phoebe, and I saw you first. So
Rachel: (laughs and pushes the chair back in) Yeah, well, y'know umm No honey, listen I think it's a great idea to become friends with someone before you date them, but I think the way you do it is y'know you meet someone, become their friend, build a foundation, then you ask them out on a date. Don't hit on your existing friends!
Chandler: Y'know, I would be offended, but Monica is freakishly strong, so
Ross: All right. (They start up the stairs. Ross is first.) Okay, here we go!
(Chandler has moved forward and is now underneath the couch as it heads up the first set of stairs.)
Ross: Oh yeah it will! Come on, up! Up-up-up! Up! Yes! Here we go! Pivot! (They start up the stairs again. Chandler is between the couch and the wall now.) Pivot! Piv-ot! Piv-et!! Piv-ett!!! Piv-et!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is returning and finds Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering with a pizza and finds everyone but Ross there.]
(They all throw their pieces back as there is a knock on the door.)
Monica: Who is it?
[Scene: The couch store, Ross is talking to a saleswoman.]
Ross: This couch, is cut in half! I would like to exchange it for one that is not cut in half!
Rachel: Well Joey, I hate to admit it, your way of sailing is a lot more fun.
(They both walk over to where Rachel is opening her gifts. Rachel sees her first gift is a fruit basket.)
Joey: Rach, there is a decent place to
Ross: That is so unfair!
Phoebe: His first big kids bike, this is so exciting!
Phoebe: Yeah, oh Im sorry, it must be really hard to hear! I tell ya, its a lot easier having three babies play Bringing in the Noise, Bringing in da Funk on your bladder! Im so sick of being pregnant! The only happiness I get is from a cup of coffee, which of course is decaf, causeOh! Im pregnant!
Receptionist: Oh that one is available now, but only identical twins are eligible. Its a twins study.
Monica: Hello? (Listens) What?! (Listens) You what?! (Listens) Hey you listen here missy! (Listens) Wh(She is hung up on.)
Rachel: Hi. Tag, I have a conference call today is that correct?
[Scene: Rachels Outer Office, Tag is sitting at his desk as Rachel walks up. She stops and watches him pick up the phone.]
Rachel: (taking off her sweater) Okay umm, Ross? I'm-I'm really warm, so I'm going to be taking off my sweater. Now, I'm just letting you know that this is not an invitation to the physical act of love.
Monica: (turning a light on) Who is that?!
Monica: Hi. Do you know what time it is?
Monica: Oh, Nancy Thompson from Phoebes old massage place is getting fired.
Chandler: Oh, come on Monica, reliving past pain and getting depressed is what Thanksgiving is all about. Y'know, for me anyway. And of course, the Indians.
Phoebe: (gasps) Does that mean Carcass is available?
Chandler: What is the matter with you?
(There is a knock on the door and Monica answers it. There is a woman standing there.)
Monica: What am I gonna do?! That is the dress! That is the dress! Wh Chandler wants the band. What do I do?
Krista: (calling from the bathroom) Danny! Hurry up! The bath is getting cold!
Woman: Hi, is Rachel here? Im her sister.
Chandler: You-you-you didnt know that. (Pause as she nods no.) Well, I guess my work here is done!
Rachel: I can not believe he would do that to MonWhoa! (She stops suddenly and slowly turns to point at Joey. Joey is avoiding her eyes.) Joey, do they know that we know?
Ross: Oh, no, it's great. It's great. He is... He is an amazing guy.
Rachel: (looking at his butt) There it is. (They hug.)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is getting ready for his date with Kristen.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is eating cereal from a bowl she has balanced on her stomach as Joey, Chandler, and Monica return.]
Roy: I may have borrowed this from my nephew, but let me assure you, what's underneath (points at his groin)... is all man.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is on the phone, Rachel and Monica are sitting in the kitchen.]
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment. Chandler is at the foosball table trying to get Phoebe to play a game with him.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Chandler are entering, Joey is on the phone.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is getting a cup of coffee and sits down next to Monica.]
Ross: I...reorganized the fridge. See, bottom shelf: meats and dairy. (Theres nothing on the shelf.) Middle shelf: fruits and vegetables. (Theres one lone tomato.) And top shelf: expired products. (The shelf is jammed packed.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachels, Joey is sitting behind a red drum set.]
Maitre d': I'm sorry. Christmas is a very busy time, sir.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is getting ready for Chandlers arrival. He enters and finds the place lit with candles and dinner on the table.]
Ben: When is Santa coming?
Joey: This is impossible Monica, why dont you just pick all 15? (Hands back the paper.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is there as Tag enters carrying a bag.]
Joey: Rach! Rachel! Okay, the next highest bidder is at table one.
Rachel: The logic is, that there are two of us and we are both strong enough to break a chair in half!
[Scene: Central Perk, Gunther is serving Chandler and Monica coffee.]
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is whirling Ben around.]
Joey: What is Rock 'n' Roll about that?
Joey: Oh. Well good! (To himself) For me. (He picks up a jar of lotion.) What is this? Did you give yourself a facial?
Phoebe: Yes, thank you. You see, this is how normal people are supposed to react to drums.
Chandler: (to Clunkers) It is so good to see you!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, later that night, there is someone knocking on the door and Chandler stumbles out into the living room, turns on the light, looks through the peephole, and opens the door.]
ROSS: No, um, see 'cause that, that is, that is the staging area. If you go in there, it'll ruin the whole illusion of the party. Yeah, I think you take your scotch back in there and I will get your cigarettes for you sir.
Chandler: You bet I did, Ben, put it there! (He shakes Ben's hand, but the money falls out of his hands) (to Monica) Well, it would have worked this time, if his hands weren't so damn small! (Realizes, that Ben is standing right there) Ho, ho, ho!
Doug: So thanks for the warm welcome. Its good to have you guys on my team, and I come to play. I hope you do too. Now, lets go out there and get em! Huh? And remember, there is no I in team.
Monica: Yes, is that okay?
(Chandler lets her into the apartment and reveals that Monica is getting a massage from another woman.)
[Scene: Joey's apartment, (The one he had when he was Dr. Drake Remoray, because he still is.) Rachel is there and admiring the big ceramic fake dog.]
Rachel: Pheebs is your grandmother maybe saying that you should live here alone?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Phoebe is at the sink and Chandler is looking at a ring brochure.]
PHOEBE: What if the husband person is the wrong guy, and you are the right guy. I mean you don't get chances like this all the time, if you don't meet her now, you're gonna be kicking yourself when your 80, which is hard to do, and that's how you break a hip.
Joey: (yelling from the bedroom) Is it back in the cage?
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe, Rachel, Ross, and Ryan are there. Ryan is in uniform, getting ready to leave.]
Rachel: Chandler, you stole this cheesecake. That is wrong.
Ross: Well, what is she goes down and-and sleeps with a bunch of guys?
Ross: Phoebe hes right, that is the rule.
Joey: The RossIs that back?!! (Chandler motions no.)
Krista: Here, I'll get it. (She grabs a napkin and tries to wipe it up. The thing that gets the rest of the gang going is that she's whipping awfully close to his crotch. In fact, she is whipping his crotch. Chandler's about to come out of his chair.)
Pete: ...so y'know, thats why, within a few years, that voice recognition is gonna be pretty much standard on any computer you buy. Y'know, so you could be like-like, Wash my car. Clean my room. Its not gonna be able to do any of those things, but itll understand what youre saying.
Phoebe: Okay, see, see, everyone else is happy shes done.
Ross: Oh here, I think this is us. (Reading the name cards.) Yeah.
Rachel: Jill, honey, I think this is the best thing that couldve ever happened to you. I mean you needed to get out on your own anyway! And you know when I did it, I-I-I at first I was scared, and look at me now! Im the only daughter dad is proud of! Okay, well this is, this is what youre gonna do. Youre gonna get a job, youre gonna get an apartment, and then Ill help you and you can stay with us. Right Pheebs, she can stay with us?
MNCA: Ok, this is pumpkin pie with mockolate cookie crumb crust. This is mockolate cranberry cake, and these are mockolate chip cookies. Just like the Indians served.
Monica: It's just... It's hard enough not seeing you during the week, but for Christmas... alright, if this is what you have to do, I understand.
Joey: Whoa-whoa, what is it?
Phoebe: God Joey, this is taking forever!
Joey: Is to have a long, long talk. Yknow? Get Joey out on the open road and really open him up.
Joey: Aw! Does that mean the Sam Goodys sale is over?!
Monica: It's not just the drum noise. Every five minutes, Joey throws his sticks in the air, and I have to hear, "Oh my eye! Oh god, my eye!" I mean, it is so annoying.
Monica: Well, if you really think about it, I mean four days is not that long. I mean, I see you Monday before you go to work, and I see you Thursday when you get back, and I always work late on Tuesdays, so really if you think about it, it's really just one day. And well, if we can't make it one day, we've got real problems my friend.
Rachel: Jill this is not about me being jealous of you! This is about you being a brat! Wanting what you cant have!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is entering without touching anything with his hands. Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
Mr. Geller: No. Your mother really did the work. I was busy with the business. I wasn't around that much. Is that what this is about?
(Phoebe gets up from the table, and while her back is turned, Rachel and Monica indicate via sign language that they each would have picked the other.)
(Monica is shocked into silence.)
Chandler: Huh! Where is the dog?!
Ross: Well you shouldnt be. Believe me I wouldnt want to be the guy whos up against you. (Chandler laughs.) I mean that doofus is going to lose!
Joey: Well.. hey, you know what else I could use? There's a scene where Drake sneaks into Olivia's bedroom, and she doesn't know he's there - which never happened with us! And he knows he shouldn't be there, but he just wants to look at her... you know? (In a romantic voice) And I remember all those mornings before you even put on your make-up, when I would think to myself, my God, she...is... beautiful... (Rachel looks very moved) and it hurts so much, cuz I knew I could never tell you (pauses, while looking at her with sentiment) but it was worth it just to be there looking at you.
Rachel: Well forget it, Im not telling that girl anything. That is not my responsibility.
Ross: What? Is it the comet? (Runs over to where Joeys standing.)
Monica: I missed this apartment! Now, this is a grown-ups apartment! Yknow, I-I should be with a grown-up, do you know what I mean?!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bedroom, Monica is sleeping and Chandlers sitting in bed, wide awake.]
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, there is a beeping noise coming from the living room and Phoebe sleepily goes to investigate.]
Monica: It is in the living room where there is also a light! And no one will kick you in the shin.
Rachel: Yeah, I admit it. I have a crush on you, and uh, and, and I know that's crazy because we work together, and-and nothing could ever happen, and the last thing I want to do is-is to freak you out or make you feel uncomfortable. Which is why it would be really great if you said something right about now.
Phoebe: (looking up) There it is! Oh, look at that! Isnt Mother Nature amazing?
CHANDLER: This is nuts. This is crazy. She came over for like two minutes, dropped off a fish tank, and left, end of story.
Phoebe: Yeah, swing music is so out.
Ross: Look I-I dont know whats going on with you and your husband and what is hopefully an adult dog walker, look can I just say not all men are like that.
Monica: Oh, I know! Umm, is it because he's always correcting people's grammar? Whom! Whom! Sometimes it's who!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is bringing Rachel some coffee.]
Tag: If this is your idea of sexy talk? (Shakes his head that its not working.)
Chandler: Look all I know is when Monica and I went to see them, we had fun! And theres another reason too.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's bedroom, Monica is entering with a mug.]