words in movies
Phoebe: (after a pause) Unless... Maybe it's too crazy about this... Alright so... you know, there is no future... but that doesn't mean we still can't have fun. You know what? Forget what I said.
Ross: That only is not funny, it's physically impossible! Ok? Depending on the species I'd have to have a six foot long... (pause) It's not funny!!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Chandler is looking at the screen of his laptop, shaking his head.]
Monica: Alright, wait a second, why would Ross tell everyone in your class that you are as... (reads from the screen) "gay as the day is long"?
Monica: (On the phone) Hello? No, he's not here. Yeah, this is his wife. Yeah, well, it came as quite a shock to me too. I guess I should have known. Yeah, I mean, he just kept making me watch Moulin Rouge.
[Time lapse, still Chandler and Monica's, but only Chandler is there. Enter Ross]
Ross: You've really crossed the line here, but that's okay, it's ok 'cause I'm on my way to buy some Photoshop software and a stack of gay porn. That's right! Your coming out is about to get real graphic.
Monica: Phoebe, that's how it starts. I don't need to eat the cake, I'll just smell the icing... why don't I just eat a little sliver, or, okay, just a slice or two. And next thing you know, you're 210 pounds and you get wedged in going down the tunnel slide. Phoebe, honey, I know this is hard. Look, if you talk to him, you're going to wanna see him. And if you see him, you're going to want to get back together with him. I know that's not what you want. (pause) Give me your phone.
Monica: This is your cellphone?
Monica: This is your current cellphone?
(Monica opens the door and Mike is standing at the doorway)
Phoebe: There is a speakerphone on the base unit...
Monica: Sure! If you're just gonna hang out as friends, then maybe I'll join ya. You know, I'm your friend (to Phoebe) and Mike's friend (Mike is sceptical).
Monica: Oh no no no no... this is dangerous territory. Keep it clean!
[Scene: Ross's Apartment: Ross is doing something on his laptop when Chandler walks in]
Ross: Eh..actually no, I don't need to because your little "Ross is dead" joke didn't work, ok, there were no responses. Nobody posted anything on the website, nobody called my parents, so the joke my friend is on you. Nobody called, nobody wrote anything, nobody cares that I'm dead. (silence) Oh my God! Nobody cares that I'm dead!?
Chandler: Well, the gay community is a lot more vocal than the dead community.
Chandler: Alright look, let's think about this, ok, do you really think that people are gonna stir up your family at this tragic time? That people are gonna post condolences on a website? This is not about people not caring that you're dead .This is about people not having a decent outlet for their grief.
Ross: oh, too late, too late! It's sent... oops sorry and so is the picture of you and the police man...
[Scene: Joey's room: Joey is sitting on his bed reading DooL transcript when Rachel walks in]
Rachel: (yelling) Joey, there is a reason that Emma loves that stupid penguin so much (Joey covers Hugsy's ears) Oh don't cover its ears! (stops yelling) It's because it reminds her of her uncle Joey!
(Monica is getting up from the couch)
Phoebe: I know, I want that too, but IS that going to make it too hard?
Phoebe: Who is this?
Ross: Ok, ok! I'm gonna go hide! Oh, this is so exciting, my first mourner! (he hides in the bedroom and closes the door)
Ross: Who is he?
Monica: (a bit surprised) Yes, he is. Me.
Kori: I can't believe that Ross is gone. It is just so sad.
Ross: (he bounds into the lounge room) But you didn't! I'm still alive!! Kori, I know this is a big surprise for you. It's a long story but the things you just said really made my day! I mean, the fact that you are here means more to me than if this room were filled with people!
Rachel: Yeah, he did! (smiling) Oh, see, this is what I'm talking about!
Ross: No!! Y'know-y'know dont do me any favours. In fact, where, wheres the rest of my stuff?! Huh? Like-like my umm, (picks up a book) Hey, this book is mine!! And-and-and, and that T-shirt you sleep in? Id like that back too. Yes, I do.
Joey: Me too. Yeah, this place is great. I'm so happy for you guys. Although, you know, I hope you like fungus.
Susan: Honey, relax. Ross is great with him. (Ross looks at her.) Don't look so surprised. I'm a lovely person.
David: Yeah, well, being a failed scientist doesn't pay quite as well as you might think. That's uhm... one seventieth of a karat. And the clarity is uhm... is quite poor.
Phoebe: Is that Ross?
(Phoebe starts to listen at the other wall, where Rachel's room is. There, Joey and Rachel are kissing.)
Phoebe: Yeah, you're right. This is none of our business.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Chandler is entering to find Joey bingeing on the food from the fridge. Joey isnt doing all that well.]
[Time Lapse: Rachel is returning from chasing down the boy in the cape.]
Charlie: uhm... Is everything okay?
Monica: What?! Are you crazy? You just had Rosss baby! Its-its so inappropriate. No, its worse than that. Its wrong. Its It is bigger than mine! (Rachels engagement ring.)
Ross: You know where Joey is?
Ross: Is everything okay?
Rachel: Yeah, sure... (looks outside into the corridor if Joey is there)
Phoebe: Shhh... This is the listening side of the wall.
Phoebe: Now, what is this?
Joey: Is he gone?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's. Emma is in her bed and Ross and Rachel are rapping and dancing for her.]
Joey's voice, but she sees Ross: Seriously... What is it?
Rachel: Plus, you know, he is with Charlie now.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, continued from earlier, everyone is now in the living room drinking champagne.]
Mr. Oberblau: (seeing her) Oh, you're back... (to Ross) this is my wife, Nancy.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler has a box of keys and is trying them on the secret closet when someone enters.]
Chandler: Well look, it's not easy to spend this much time apart, you know. She's entitled to be a little paranoid... or, in this case: right on money! ... You know, she's amazing, and beautiful, and smart, and if she were here right now, ...she'd kick your ass. Look, you're a really nice person... ham stealing and adultery aside. But, what I have with my wife is pretty great, so nothing is ever gonna happen between us.
Mike: Is it ok if I hug you now?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe and Rachel are in the kitchen as there is a knock on the door. Rachel answers it.]
(Ross walks to the back of the plane, where Rachel is.)
Rachel: Oh really? Well how would you like it if I had sex with you and I taped it? (Joey smiles luridly) Oh forget it! (Ross enters.) Oh there he is now, the father of my child, the porn king of the west village.
Joey: All right. Uhh, okay. Our first contestant is Ross Geller. Why dont you tell us a little something about you Ross?
[Scene: Rachels bedroom, Rachel is entering carrying two glasses of wine. She gives one to Phoebe, keeps one, and completely ignores Monica.]
Rachel: What? What is it?
RICHARD: Monica... [He re-enters the bedroom and Monica jumps on the bed, trying to cover it.] Hey Mon, I have a question. Is Leroy the baddest man in the whole damn town or the fattest man in the whole damn town?
Rachel: Wow! Well, clearly this is not a good time.
Precious: My name is Precious.
[Scene: Mike's place. Phoebe is on the phone.]
Joey: Argh-argh!! (Catches the coat.) Ooh, soft. Is this mink?
Precious: He proposed to you? This is the worst birthday ever. (she starts to cry again)
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's. Only Chandler is in the living room and walks to the bathroom.]
Ross: Come on, come on. Damnit, damnit, damnit, damnit. (to Susan) This is all your fault. This is supposed to be, like, the greatest day of my life, y'know? My son is being born, and I should be in there, you know, instead of stuck in a closet with you.
Chandler: This is what I want to do.
Joey: Okay fine! Im a seven! All right, I have surprisingly small feet. But the rest of me is good, Ill show ya!
Joey: But what you saw, that is the extent of it, okay? One kiss.
Rachel: Ross, this is not how we wanted you to find out about this. You have every right to go nuts.
Phoebe: Ooh, babies! Oh, this one is so cute, get this one!
Monica: Which one is which again?
Rachel: (now looking up at the ceiling) That is hard to say, Ross. That is hard to say.
Monica: Okay, but there is a wire back there! I mean that switch is connected to something!
Ross: What? Fine? Because I am! Aren't you? Aren't you? Aren't you? You see? Who else is fine?
Colleen: The bathroom is down the hall, to your left.
Charlie: Oh, you know what? This is nothing. My father is a raging alcoholic.
Ross: That is gonna hurt tomorrow!
Phoebe: Okay, well, this is crazy. Can't seriously be talking about me taking one of your kids, can we?
Chandler: Well I think it's safe to say that our friendship is effectively ruined.
CHANDLER: Ok, while Ross is on the phone, everybody owes me 62 bucks for his birthday.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is entering, dragging Chandler, to mediate the argument between Chandler and Monica.]
Ross: Oh, (door is locked) holy molly are we in a pickle now.
Ross: And to love. Ah, love. L-O-V-E, love. L is for life. And what is life without love?
Charlie: God, Rachel, what Ross just said that is just so..
Joey: I will be okay! Look Chandler, you gotta get it out of your head that I cant take care of myself. Okay? Look, Im not gonna miss you helping me out with money. The only thing that Im gonna miss is you. And now the dog.
Ross: No! The guy is mean. I mean really mean. I think you should stay away from him.
Ross: And this girl is making eyes at Chandler, okay? So after awhile he-he goes over to her and uh, after a minute or two, I see them kissing. Now, I know what youre thinking, Chandlers not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls, and youre right, Chandlers not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls.
Joey: Well my old man is doing a plumbing job down there and he heard they have an opening. So, you want me to see if I can get you an interview?
Rachel: Ross, she still has not noticed that the baby�s sock is on the ground.
Ross: Mississippilesly? (pause) Well, how bad is it?
Ross: So, how dark is it gonna get?
(Gunther is eavesdropping in the background.)
Rachel: Alright, I don't wanna alarm anybody, but Monica's hair is twice as big as it was when we landed!
Chandler: Hello? Is someone on the line?
Rachel: Well this is romantic!
Joey: (entering) Ross! Get a shot of this. (He's carrying an issue of the USA Today and hands Ross the camera.) Hey babies! These are the headlines on the day you were born! Okay, now girl baby turn away and boy babies (Throws the paper away to reveal a copy of Playpen, which is the TV version of Playboy Magazine.) Check it out, huh?! This is what naked women looked like the month you were born. All right, now let's dive right into the good stuff. (Joey opens the magazine and Ross sticks the camera in it.)
Rachel: Ah, what is this? Well, lets see, we kissed for ten minutes and now we're talking to our friends about it, so I guess this is sixth grade!
Chandler: Hold on! There is something different.
Ross: Okay, stay calm. Nothing is going to happen to you, you are not in that much trouble.
Monica: Is Amanda here yet?
The Dry Cleaner: Thats right. Mr. Ford is a very good customer, he brings us a lot of clothes; you bring us nothing!
Mike: that is so wrong and on top of that his a glue sniffer.
Monica: Are you kidding? This is where they get out stains! Okay? This is like Disneyland for me. Im-Im gonna be over here watching the dance of the clean shirts. (She points to and walks over to the electric clothes rack they have.)
(Rachel and Elizabeth go upstairs. Paul starts for the car, but notices his luggage is still out and decides to take in into the bedroom.)
Ross: Which... which... which... Which one is it?
Dr. Long: Okay, everything looks good. Here it is on the screen. (We see Ross and Rachel looking at the screen.) Here is your uterus. And right here is your baby.
Ross: Wait a minute, there's two sets of nozzles, which one is it?
Rachel: What is the matter with us?
Rachel: No, I mean with us, you know. I mean, is it supposed to be this... difficult?
(Ross's face is now a VERY dark shade of brown.)
Ross: C'mon you guys, this is really important to us.
Ross: Rach, c�mon, Emma is fine. You�re turning into an obsessive mother. Okay, you need to stop.
Monica: Believe me, that is not why we won't be doing that!
Phoebe: 'Cause it's good money! But that doesn't change the fact that this is an evil blood sucking corporate machine!
Ross: Ah, and where is Joey?
Ross: That's the hope! So, is Emma awake yet?
Jack: I can't believe Emma is already one!
Rachel: Ross? Look, whatever this relationship stuff that Emily wants, just give it to her. Come on, the bottom line here is that you love her. So just fix whatever she wants fixed. Just do it. (The phone starts ringing.) I mean, you're gonna have to try. You'll just gonna hate yourself if you don't. (The phone keeps ringing.) Oh come on answer it! It's driving me crazy!
Joey (to Chandler): Look, c'mon, please? It's not like I'm asking for some crazy favour. This is what I do for a living. I am a professional actor! (he glances at his watch and sees the time) Oh, man, I'm two hours late for work! (he stands, ready to go). Look, here's a copy of my reels. It's got all the commercials that I've been in.
Joey: (in a funny voice) Yeah, so it turns out that it wasnt the hair straightener that started the fire. (Rachel prompts him on what to say next.) No-no, it was the candles. Its very not good leaving candles unattended. In fact, one of the first things they teach you in fire school is (Phoebe suddenly enters.) Uhh Uhh Okay. Well, I have to go now. (Phoebe leaves.)
Rachel: Is that it?
Richard: Hes gonna go up to the counter with Citizen Kane, Vertigo, and Clockwork Orgy. (they both laugh) This is nice.
Chandler: Dont worry, Im brave! I am brave! I I am brave! (They get to the door and Monica goes to open it.) No-no-no-no!! (He stops her.) (Through the door.) Can you tell me who is there please?
Phoebe: Okay, well, I just don't, I don't know how it works exactly. See, my name is Buffay and my husband's name is Hannigan, so is it supposed to be Buffay-Hannigan or Hannigan-Buffay?
Chandler: Was that Emma? Is she up?