words in movies
Rachel: Well, Im really sick of your smoking, so I brought something that is going to help you quit. (hands him an audio cassette)
Chandler: Oh. (takes the cassette and puts it on his arm like the stop smoking patch, and it falls off.) Nope, that patch is no good. (Joey and Monica both do their fake laughs.)
Ross: Nothing, its just that hypnosis is beyond crap.
Phoebe: All right, y'know forget hypnosis. The way to quit smoking is you have to dance naked in a field of heather, and then bath in the sweat of six healthy young men.
[Scene: Central Perk, continued from earlier, Ross is handing Rachel a cup of coffee.]
Frank: (entering with his fianc�e Alice, who is obviously much, much older than he is) Hey! Hey! This is ah, my fianc�e, Mrs. Knight. (he points out Phoebe to her)
[Scene: Chandlers bedroom, Chandler is listening to the hypnosis tape.]
[Scene: The Moondance Diner, Monica is working, Rachel is having lunch.]
Phoebe: No, I know, I know, that this is Franks life, (walks behind them, they turn around in the leather chairs to face her) y'know. Y'know, I dont want to be all judgmental, y'know, but this is sick, its sick and wrong!
Ross: Pheebs, what, is it the age thing?
Phoebe: But, I mean, do you think hes gonna enjoy it when hes up to his elbows in the diapers from all the babies they have to have right away?! This is not fair to Frank, (she walks behind them again, and hey again turn to follow her) and it-its not fair to the babies, and y'know what, its not good home economics.
Chandler: Good! I havent smoked yet today, I feel great, and-and-and confident, that is a stunning blouse.
Monica: As a joke, this customer at work who has a crush on me gave me a $20,000 tip. His number is on the check, he just did so Id call him.
Chandler: (reading the check) Pete Becker. Pete (quickly grabs a magazine and opens it up to show her a picture) (pointing to the picture) Is this him?
Monica: Oh my God! Thats Pete! But why is Bill huggin Pete?
Rachel: Oh my God, I cant believe this is a real $20,000 check, oh this is just so exciting.
(Chandler is putting on the Chap Stick the same way that women put on lipstick, including the bit with the piece of tissue.)
Ross: All were saying is dont rush into anything.
Joey: Look, the point is, theres a lot of women out there you havent even had sex with yet!
Ross: Yeah, he-hes right, hes right. This is your time y'know, yeah, youre young, youre-youre weird, chicks dig that.
Frank: Okay, so what you used to have with Rachel, is what Ive got with Alice.
Joey: Now, wh-what, what is that like?
Frank: Its so cool man, its so, its just cause being with her is so much better than like not being with her.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its after Ross and Joeys talk with Frank, and Phoebes is finding out what happened.]
Joey: I couldnt help it, there love is so pure.
[Scene: Phoebes, Phoebe is opening the door.]
[Scene: Petes office, he is participating in a conference call with three other employees, each of whom are on a different TV screen that he controls with a remote.]
Monica: What the hell is this? (holding up the check)
Monica: Seriously, what is this supposed to mean?
Monica: Youre supposed to double the tax. Not double the tax of Romania. I mean, whats-whats the deal? Are you, are you trying to buy me? Is this the way you get girls to go out with you?
Pete: Come on, you gotta admit that our relationship is ah, is hitting a new level now. Cause you used to be like the chef, and I was the customer, and now were like this-this couple that fights.
[Scene: Phoebes, she is coming home. She turns on the lights, and sits down on the couch.]
Frank: Oh well, um, your, your laundry just smelled so good, that I thought Id curl up in it. Is that all right?
Frank: Yeah, if the best is like unbelievable pain!
Frank: Wait a minute, wait, this is because of you?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is getting Monica ready for her date. The guys are also there. The door buzzes.]
[Scene: A restaurant in Rome, Monica is paying for the pizza.]
Monica: Oh come on, its only fair, you paid for the flight. Now is, is that enough lire?
Monica: Why, how much is that?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its the middle of the night. Joey is walking into the living room, and runs into the entertainment centre.]
[Scene: Phoebes, Frank is watching TV, and hes very depressed as Phoebe enters.]
Alice: Phoebes right Frank. I know its hard to hear, but it wouldve been wrong to go through with it. I-I-I was being selfish, even though we, we want the same things now, in the future we may not. (to Phoebe) Is that it, is that what it is?
Phoebe: Thats right, exactly. (sees them) All right, its a good bye kiss, thats good. (Frank picks Alice up and they move to the couch) Bye-bye. (They both lie down on the couch and start to make out.) Okay, no, the important thing is that you see what Im saying, y'know, just y'know, this is clearly wrong. (They ignore her) Okay, Ive decided Im gonna let this happen! Okay, can I just get my purse? (She reaches in and Alice moans) Okay, all right, good. (leaves).
[Scene: Lamaze class, Ross is again on the floor, cradled in Susans lap, but now Carol is cradled in his lap, and she has a pretend baby, on her lap. The teacher is showing her class a video, which is about to end.]
[Scene: Central Perk, time lapse, Rachel is at the counter as Jill enters.]
Monica: Okay, look at this one. This is my favourite. (Its a little pink and white dress for the girl baby.)
PHOEBE: Um, is, is there any chance that you're rounding up? You know, like from, like 20?
Phoebe: I know, Im sorry! But yknow, this ring is better! Monica never even saw the other ring.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is kneeling at the coffee table and has a bunch of pictures laid out in front of her as Rachel enters.]
Ross: (while Rachel is finishing her rant) Okay! Okay! Okay! Its okay. (Rachel stops.) Its okay. Hey, its too weird for you, I wont see her again.
Joey: Oh wow, what a beautiful name! (Pause) What is it again?
Phoebe: (knocking and entering) Hey. Look, I know youve been really depressed lately, so I brought someone over to cheer you up. Right outside this door is a real, live, furry playmate.
Phoebe: That is nice and were done. TADA!
Joey: Uhh, excuse me is there a Mr. Bowmont at this table?
Rachel: (laughs) I cannot believe Ross is buying this!
[Scene: Macs Office, Mac is talking to C.H.E.E.S.E. about their case.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica are there. Ross is trying to figure out why Phoebe's mad at him.]
Chandler: This is terrible. What am I going to do?
Health Inspector: Wow, Monica, if every restaurant is as clean as yours, I'd have a tough time making a living.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is packing some books and Joey is watching him.]
Chandler: I dont think this town is big enough for both of us to relax in. (He blows on his hand) Draw!! (He quickly pulls the lever to raise the foot rest, like a gunfighter in a Western.)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is looking at his handbook. Elizabeth is also there.]
Richard: I know this is crazy but am I too late?
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is bringing Phoebe some coffee.]
(Rachel heads for the door but is intercepted by the doctor.)
Rachel: Y-Yeah! What-what is your wifes name?
Joey: This is for my boat, pretty cool huh?
[Scene: Lara and Jenis Massage, Phoebe is interviewing for a job.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Ross is still doing his list. Rachel and Joey are feeding the dog as the phone rings.]
Monica: He wanted to tell me hes gonna compete is some ultimate fighting competition thingy.
[Scene: The Emergency Room, Joey is miming hockey pucks kitting foreheads. Chandler realises it's getting tense and goes to the receptionist again.]
Richard: Who is it?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is reading as Rachel enters.]
Phoebe: Ooh, that is silly. (gets up) Ill go up there, Ill tell him to keep it down.
Monica: All right, listen up. There is usually only one dress in each size so when they open those doors, fan out. Now, this is what youre looking for! (Holds up a picture of it.) Memorize it! When you locate the dress, blow on these. All right? (She passes out whistles to them.) Three short blasts, when you hear it. Come running.
Rachel: (To Phoebe) So this is Brooklyn.
A Woman: What is taking so long?! I mean whatever!
Rachel: Is there room on that step for a pathetic loser?
[Scene: The Hallway between the Apartments, Ross is hiding behind that bump out on Monicas side waiting for Phoebe and Rachel. As they come up the stairs, he jumps out and yells ]
Phoebe: Oh no wait no, this is wrong! Ross isnt here!
Phoebe: No, we were talking about tennis. Tennis is more believable.
Rachel: Ohhh, this is the least jealous Ive ever been!
Ross: Where is she?
[cut to inside Central Perk, we see Ross quietly tapping on the window, desperately trying to get the gangs attention, while Tommy is still screaming at him]
MONICA: Joey that is horriable.
Joey: (looking through a deck of cards) Aww, man, he took the five of spades!! Oh, no-no-no, here it is!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is reading Chicken Soup for the Soul as Monica enters.]
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Joey is telling Ross how he didn't get the part.]
Joey: (To Phoebe) Hey, is uh the rest of my candy bar around here?
The Woman: I told em your candy is absolutely indescribable!
Joey: He's right, enough, already. What is the big deal about today? So you slept with her for the first time, so what? You slept with her for seven years after that.
Phoebe: Its not in the apartment? (Monica gives a Come on look) Oh no. I cant believe this is happening again.
ROSS: But I don't know it. What I do know is that you owe $2300 at Isn't it Chromantic.
Dr. Green: What is it sweetie?
Monica: Phoebe, that's how it starts. I don't need to eat the cake, I'll just smell the icing... why don't I just eat a little sliver, or, okay, just a slice or two. And next thing you know, you're 210 pounds and you get wedged in going down the tunnel slide. Phoebe, honey, I know this is hard. Look, if you talk to him, you're going to wanna see him. And if you see him, you're going to want to get back together with him. I know that's not what you want. (pause) Give me your phone.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is in the living room and Phoebe is in her room.]
Ross: It is! It is!
Rachel: Oh honey, but it is just about
Monica: Having a perfectly decorated tree is not what Christmas is about. Its about being with the people that you love.
Ginger: Its okay if it bothers you. Really. I mean the only thing I need to know is: How much it bothers you? because I dont like wasting my time. Am I wasting my time?
[Scene: The slot machines, Phoebe is still feeding quarters into the one-armed bandit as the lurker peeks over the top of the machines.]
Joey: You guys kissed! Oh mythis is huge!
Rachel: Honey, Monica, this is ridiculous! Look
[Time lapse, Phoebe is playing the guitar for Joey.]
Phoebe: Well, I dont think Monica is gonna take this away.
Rachel: (Faking cheerfulness.) Hello. Umm, when is your next flight to London?
Ross: Okay, okay. If that is what it takes to show you how much you mean to me, and how much I want you there. Then that's what I'll do.
[Time lapse, inside the store, Monica is frantically looking for her dress.]
Joey: Would she? (He smells something and gasps as he realizes what it is.) You ate my candy bar!
(Rachel slams the door and locks it. She sits down, visibly upset. She puts her head in her hands and begins to cry. Ross comes back and is standing outside the window. When Rachel regroups and gets back up to finish closing, she sees him.)
(There is a knock on the door.)
Monica: Oh, is that why you did it the secret hallway where nobody ever goes?!
Monica: Oh, wait, is he the guy I met at Christmas?
Rachel: Why? Honey, what is the big deal?
Ross: Uh, Rachel, Ive been thinking. I dont think us getting together tonight is such a good idea. Im calling it off.
Rachel: Who is it?
The Doctor: It's too late, all we can do now is sow up the wound.
Chandler: How is that ever going to happen?!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Phoebe is singing outside Monica and Chandlers door.]
Joey: (browsing the tissues) Let me see if I approve any of these clowns. This guy wears a rug (discards one). This guy's Canadian (discards another). And this guy is in a cult, ok, and it costs you 5,000$ to get to level three and I don't feel any different.
(Theres a knock on the door. The gang is stunned and Phoebe counts to make sure that everyone is there. Out of curiosity Chandler goes and answers the door.)
Joey: Err... I just figured it out! You know, I mean you're not working and the economy is bad.
Chandler: What in Gods name is that?!
[Scene: A Classroom, Ross is giving a lecture.]
Phoebe: That is so smart! (To Chandler, under her breath) Break it off. Break it off now.
[Time lapse, dinner is now finished and Ross is looking out the window.]
Phoebe: Oh my God. This is where you got all our stuff, Pottery Barn! Oh my God!
Chandler: The ball is Janice. The ball is Janice. (goes to kick the ball but kicks Rosss foot instead.)
Jack: I know what you're thinking Judy, the resemblance is uncanny!
Joey: Mine's is to Lilian Myers.
Rachel: Yes, his name is Barry, hes a doctor, thank you very much.
Monica: This is my dress!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is sweeping up as Rachel enters.]
Chandler: Me asking is kind of a sign.
Monica: Yes it is! You saw me wearing it!
Woman: Hi, is uh Phoebe here?
Ross: Probably. But you know, I'll tell you something. Passion is way overrated.
Monica: No. No. Not it. Not it. Not it. (Checks another rack and another woman tries to reach around her.) (To the woman) Dont crowd me! (Finds it) This is it! This is the dress! Oh my God, its perfect! (She takes it off of the rack and someone has a hold of it on the other side of the rack and tugs on it.) Im sorry, this ones taken! (The other woman tugs harder pulling Monica through the rack.) Whoa!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is going through her purse as Rachel rushes in.]
Chandler: (interrupting in the nick of time) Joey, I uh! I can't believe this is how I'm spending my anniversary.
Monica: Okay, this is the den. All right, check this out. Lights! (the lights turn on automatically, but are very bright) Whoa! All right. Less lights! Bad lights! Lights go away! (they dim) Oh, see you just need to find the right command.
(He holds up a white poster with huge red letters. It reads, "Welcome Home Baby." There is also a huge red stain on the left of the poster.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Chandler is looking at the foosball table.]