words in movies
Rachel: Well, Im really sick of your smoking, so I brought something that is going to help you quit. (hands him an audio cassette)
Chandler: Oh. (takes the cassette and puts it on his arm like the stop smoking patch, and it falls off.) Nope, that patch is no good. (Joey and Monica both do their fake laughs.)
Ross: Nothing, its just that hypnosis is beyond crap.
Phoebe: All right, y'know forget hypnosis. The way to quit smoking is you have to dance naked in a field of heather, and then bath in the sweat of six healthy young men.
[Scene: Central Perk, continued from earlier, Ross is handing Rachel a cup of coffee.]
Frank: (entering with his fianc�e Alice, who is obviously much, much older than he is) Hey! Hey! This is ah, my fianc�e, Mrs. Knight. (he points out Phoebe to her)
[Scene: Chandlers bedroom, Chandler is listening to the hypnosis tape.]
[Scene: The Moondance Diner, Monica is working, Rachel is having lunch.]
Phoebe: No, I know, I know, that this is Franks life, (walks behind them, they turn around in the leather chairs to face her) y'know. Y'know, I dont want to be all judgmental, y'know, but this is sick, its sick and wrong!
Ross: Pheebs, what, is it the age thing?
Phoebe: But, I mean, do you think hes gonna enjoy it when hes up to his elbows in the diapers from all the babies they have to have right away?! This is not fair to Frank, (she walks behind them again, and hey again turn to follow her) and it-its not fair to the babies, and y'know what, its not good home economics.
Chandler: Good! I havent smoked yet today, I feel great, and-and-and confident, that is a stunning blouse.
Monica: As a joke, this customer at work who has a crush on me gave me a $20,000 tip. His number is on the check, he just did so Id call him.
Chandler: (reading the check) Pete Becker. Pete (quickly grabs a magazine and opens it up to show her a picture) (pointing to the picture) Is this him?
Monica: Oh my God! Thats Pete! But why is Bill huggin Pete?
Rachel: Oh my God, I cant believe this is a real $20,000 check, oh this is just so exciting.
(Chandler is putting on the Chap Stick the same way that women put on lipstick, including the bit with the piece of tissue.)
Ross: All were saying is dont rush into anything.
Joey: Look, the point is, theres a lot of women out there you havent even had sex with yet!
Ross: Yeah, he-hes right, hes right. This is your time y'know, yeah, youre young, youre-youre weird, chicks dig that.
Frank: Okay, so what you used to have with Rachel, is what Ive got with Alice.
Joey: Now, wh-what, what is that like?
Frank: Its so cool man, its so, its just cause being with her is so much better than like not being with her.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its after Ross and Joeys talk with Frank, and Phoebes is finding out what happened.]
Joey: I couldnt help it, there love is so pure.
[Scene: Phoebes, Phoebe is opening the door.]
[Scene: Petes office, he is participating in a conference call with three other employees, each of whom are on a different TV screen that he controls with a remote.]
Monica: What the hell is this? (holding up the check)
Monica: Seriously, what is this supposed to mean?
Monica: Youre supposed to double the tax. Not double the tax of Romania. I mean, whats-whats the deal? Are you, are you trying to buy me? Is this the way you get girls to go out with you?
Pete: Come on, you gotta admit that our relationship is ah, is hitting a new level now. Cause you used to be like the chef, and I was the customer, and now were like this-this couple that fights.
[Scene: Phoebes, she is coming home. She turns on the lights, and sits down on the couch.]
Frank: Oh well, um, your, your laundry just smelled so good, that I thought Id curl up in it. Is that all right?
Frank: Yeah, if the best is like unbelievable pain!
Frank: Wait a minute, wait, this is because of you?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is getting Monica ready for her date. The guys are also there. The door buzzes.]
[Scene: A restaurant in Rome, Monica is paying for the pizza.]
Monica: Oh come on, its only fair, you paid for the flight. Now is, is that enough lire?
Monica: Why, how much is that?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its the middle of the night. Joey is walking into the living room, and runs into the entertainment centre.]
[Scene: Phoebes, Frank is watching TV, and hes very depressed as Phoebe enters.]
Alice: Phoebes right Frank. I know its hard to hear, but it wouldve been wrong to go through with it. I-I-I was being selfish, even though we, we want the same things now, in the future we may not. (to Phoebe) Is that it, is that what it is?
Phoebe: Thats right, exactly. (sees them) All right, its a good bye kiss, thats good. (Frank picks Alice up and they move to the couch) Bye-bye. (They both lie down on the couch and start to make out.) Okay, no, the important thing is that you see what Im saying, y'know, just y'know, this is clearly wrong. (They ignore her) Okay, Ive decided Im gonna let this happen! Okay, can I just get my purse? (She reaches in and Alice moans) Okay, all right, good. (leaves).
(Walks out and after he closes the door Phoebe turns around and takes a bite out of what is left of his candy bar.)
Phoebe: Really? It doesn't have anything coming out of it. Or maybe there is some place for her in your bedroom?
Joey: But it is a big deal!! I have to tell someone!
CHANDLER: Yes, Janice. Why is that so difficult for you to comprehend?
ROSS: Y-ello. No, Rachel's not here right now, can I take a message? Alright, and how do we spell Casey, is it like at the bat or and the Sunshine Band? OK, bye-bye. Hey, who's this uh, this Casey?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is coming back from work to find Phoebe, Rachel, and someone else with her back turned is there.]
Ross: Yes, yes, fine, that is my penis. Can we be grown-ups now?
Richard: Okay, okay, one things changed. But we still want different things and we know how this is gonna end.
Joey: You can't just give up! Is that what a dinosaur would do?
Chandler: She is gonna recognize that I did a nice thing and-and, appreciate it.
Chandler: I'd keep an eye on him! We have to find out which one the father is.
[Scene: Monica's bedroom, Phoebe is finishing with her haircut and Monica is whincing.]
Rachel: Well, first of all, Paulo and I are not back together. It was just a stupid thing I did, and if I could go back in time and do it again, well, I wouldn't. Um, second of all (Ross is laughing), what?
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Carol is running to answer the door.]
Ross: Oh no! That-thatll just bring me down! This was great! I mean I-I-I was great! This is a great day! Yknow what? Im buying everyone coffee. All right? If someone would just grab my wallet, its in my pocket.
Phoebe: Well, Frank has to quit college because his super fertile sister is having three babies! I need to make a lot of money really fast, and I had an idea that I want to talk to you (Points to Chandler) about, cause you work for a big company. Okay, insider trading, what information is there that you can give me.
Monica: This is so cool, maybe this is something you can do every week.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is waiting impatiently for Joshua.]
[Scene: A Restaurant, Chandler and Phoebe are entering. This is the place where the guy who bought Chandlers ring is going to propose.]
Ross: And what(notices the stenographer is still typing)What are you typing that for? Did you hear what she said? We dont get the annulment. Dont type that! What?! Stop typing! (He goes over to where the stenographer is typing and in the process pushes Rachel out of his way.) Hey! Stop typing! (Hes still typing.) Stop typing! Stop typing!!
Ross: (to Elizabeth) And that is why we cannot see each other anymore.
CHANDLER AND JOEY: Hi. We're the guys who called about the baby. We left the baby on ths bus. Is he here? Is he here?
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe and Rachel are waiting for the cute guy to show up for his cell phone. Rachel is putting on perfume by spraying it ahead of her face, and moving into it. Phoebe tries to steal some.]
[Scene: Rosss Apartment, Rachel is entering and Ross is making some room on the shelves for his stuff.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, first season, Monica is making a giant sub-sandwich and is talking to Rachel. I think its The One With Fake Monica.]
Joey: I know, and only one layer of jam?! What is up with that?
Chandler: Wow, Ralph Lauren is really going out of there way to show theyre not in the baby buying business.
Chandler: Well, at least the perfume is not mine, be thankful for that!
Joey: Alright Ross, look. You're feeling a lot of pain right now. You're angry. You're hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is?
Chandler: See Joe, not that thats not grrreat! But, one of the cool things about having somebody we know perform the ceremony is that it can be about us! Yknow, it can be more personal. You can tell stories about us!
Rachel: Yeah I know. She ran into him at my office and they just made out. And the craziest thing is, now my boss likes me because I told her about it and she said it was the best gossip shed heard all year.
Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and- not having sex.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is there eating breakfast. Chandler is cleaning out his wallet.]
Rachel: Umm, well lets see uh, this one is Tom Brokaw.
Monica:: Is this not the good part? Do you want me to fast forward to something a little toothier.
Phoebe: Okay. (on phone) Ooh, Im setting the phone down. (does so) But Im still here! Just dont go anywhere Im still here. (starts to put on the sweater) Dont-dont switch or anything, cause Im, Im right here. (She has pulled the sweater over her head, but her head is stuck in a sleeve.) Just one sec. One sec! One second!! (She is now frantically trying to get the sweater on, as Monica returns from the bathroom.) Wait! One second! Just
Monica: This is crazy! I mean, it's such a stupid argument. I don't even wanna see Richard again.
[Scene: The Subway, Phoebe is singing for change.]
Joey: Ah, well, if I want the girl to kiss me, first thing I do is make my lips look irresistible.
Rachel: Ooh, is this one of those things where you throw it in a bag with some graveyard dirt and hang it from a north-facing tree?
Monica: That's right. [Scene: Monica's Apartment, Rachel is talking on the phone and pacing.]
[Scene: Ross's Apartment; Ross is pacing while Joey and Chandler are working on some more furniture.]
Phoebe: All right. (she releases him). He is a good guy. You’re right, he wouldn’t cheat.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is telling Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler about Emily's ultimatum.]
Chandler: That is amazing.
Phoebe: Aw! Hey, do you think that Susan person is her lover?
Chandler: Hi, Paul, is it?
Joey: But you gotta have turkey on Thanksgiving! I mean, Thanksgiving with no turkey is like-like Fourth of July with no apple pie! Or Friday with no two pizzas!
Rachel: Oh, he is precious! Where did you get him?
Chandler: This is exactly the kind of social situation that I am not comfortable with!
Joey: How come you have two? Chandler: Well this one's for you. Joey: Get out. Chandler: No, I can't. No-no, listen, I, I know how much this means to you and I also know that this is about more than just jewelry, (Puts bracelet on Joey) it's about you and me and the fact that we're (Reading bracelet) best buds. Joey: Wow, is this friendship? I think so. Check it out, we're bracelet buddies. Chandler: That's what they'll call us. [The next one is from Episode 618: The One Where Ross Dates A Student.]
Monica: Okay, I've broken them down into categories. Okay, we have uh, we got holidays, birthdays, candids, y'know And then what I've done is I've cross-referenced them by subject. Right? So if you're looking up, oh let's say birthdays and dogs, you get Photo 152. See? (Hands her the photo.)
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Rachel is there.]
[Scene: Rosss Bedroom, Ross is waking up. He straightens himself out on the bed and puts the covers over his head.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is coming back from using the phone.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Ross is telling Rachel and Monica about yet another mistake hes made with a woman.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is sitting around the kitchen table. Rachel's credit cards are spread out on the table along with a pair of scissors.]
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is there as Rachel enters.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Paul is writing something as Rachel enters.]
[Scene: The Jewelry Store, Phoebe is busy trying on virtually everything in the store. Shes got earrings, rings, bracelets, and enough necklaces to put Mr. T to shame on.]
[Scene: outside Phoebe's apartment, Monica is knocking on the door.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the game is coming to a close.]
Rachel: Hi, my name is Rachel Green, I have an appointment for Emma.
Monica: Whose little ball of paper is this?!
Ross: Im sorry man. (Formally dressed people start to enter.) Heres a thought. This is the same ballroom. Theres a band. Theres gonna be plenty of dressed up people.
Vince: (dead serious) Fire safety is not a joke, son.
[Scene: Joey's Apartment, the guys are still playing the game only everyone is really into it.]
Phoebe: You guys, you know what I just realized? 'Joker' is 'poker' with a 'J.' Coincidence?
Rachel: No, but they stuck me in personal shopping. Which is just a huge step down!
Phoebe: (while everyone else is stunned) Ooh! I found it!
Phoebe: She is so great! I miss her.
Joey: .....Well, this is still ruined, right?
Phoebe: Oh, this is so intense. One side of my butt is totally asleep, and the other side has no idea.
Joey: All right, all we need is a little lighter fluid.
[Time Lapse, everyone is now eating.]
Chandler: Why are you in here if Joshua is all the way over there? (Points to the living room.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is closing up and Ross comes in. Get your Kleenex.]
Ross: You even have to ask?! (He grabs a lollypop out of a jar) (Sees Rachel) (To Rachel) He is alive!
[Scene: A Theater, there is a casting session going on for a play.]
(The duck starts to frantically flap his wings, while Joey is holding him, in an attempt to get away.)
[Another group of flashbacks begin with Episode 513: The One With Joeys Bag. Joey is carrying the bag and has entered Central Perk to the amusement of Ross and Chandler.]
Ross: Science. Yeah, I think I've heard of that. (everyone's interest is piqued, they all look over)
Ross: ..Dr. Oberman. Okay. And is he-
Joey: Are you kidding? I love that guy! (Starts singing) Mornings here! Morning is here
The Director: Hang on a minute! Joey, you keep touching your face. Is something wrong?
Ross: (walks over to where Monica is standing)Monica. Whaddya think?
Monica: Oh God, is it 6:30? Buzz him in!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment, everyone is watching the tape of the sonogram. Rachel is on the phone.]
Monica: That is completely untrue. You think Im high maintenance? Okay, prove it. I want you to make a list and were going to go through it point by point!
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe is there.]
Monica: That is the unusual activity. Look, they just wanna see if you're okay.
Ross: What is this?!
[Rachel is in the kitchen fiddling with her English truffle. Joey and Ross, anxious to leave and go to Janines party, are egging her on to hurry up.]
Chandler: All my energy is going into not asking that question. I cant believe I screwed this up!
Ross: Is that what they say on the Figure Skating Team?
Rachel: Well, let me just check that with what I got here, all right see 038 is not the number for (Ross starts making a lot of noise with a handheld pepper grinder) this store, 038 is Atlanta. And I...(stops and looks at Ross)
(Sound of dialing numbers is heard from the speaker of the machine)
Rachel: What bank is this?
Monica: Hey. It's him. (On the intercom) Who is it?