words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is eating breakfast as Chandler comes out of his bedroom, ripping his coat in the process.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Ross are there. Monica is checking the messages.]
Monica: Chip, is Chip Matthews.
Ross: The guy who took Rachel to the prom? Why is he calling you?
Monica: Cause I ran into him at the bank, he is still soo cute.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is finishing up a song.]
Chandler: (reading the ad) Stunning entertainment center. Fine, (pause) fine Italian craftsmanship. (Joey is very proud of himself)
Joey: What kind of profit is that?! And you call yourself an accountant.
Phoebe: I just, I just have this really strong feeling that this cat is my Mother.
Phoebe: No, no-no, she was a human lady. This is the spirit of my Mom Lily, the one who killed herself.
Phoebe: No Dr. Skeptismo! Im sure. First of all, okay, theres the feeling. (Chandler shrugs) Okay, and for another, how about the fact that she went into my guitar case which is lined with orange felt. (Rachel nods her head in unsure agreement) My Mothers favourite fish is Orange Roughy... (Joey thinks he understands, but then nods that he has no clue.) Cats....like....fish! (Ross and Rachel are totally lost) (to the cat) Hi, Mommy. (Rachel covers her mouth, in an Oh my God. gesture) Oh, I havent seen this smile in 17 years!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is working as Monica enters.]
Monica: Now? Is it okay if I go out with Chip Matthews?
Chandler: Yes, Joey has a very careful screening process. Apparently, not everyone is qualified to own wood and nails.
Phoebe: (is struggling with the cat) Stop it! Stop it! She keeps squirming, trying to get away! Just like when she was alive.
Ross: So Pheebs, how long is your mom gonna be with us?
Phoebe: Well, Im not sure. I mean, I guess until she y'know, gets used to the fact that theres y'know, a new mom. Y'know, I think shes worried that y'know, shes gonna, shes gonna be replaced. (to the cat, in a funny voice) Well, thats not gonna happen is it? Noo. (gets up) Okay, I have to return a call in the other room.
Ross: (holds up a hand) Little girl misses her cat. (hold up the other hand) Crazy lady thinks her mother is in a cat. (gets up) Okay, y'know what, I have to go have dinner with my son, can I trust that when you see Phoebe, you will tell her.
Rachel: I hate when Ross is right!
Monica: He is right, isnt he?
[Scene: Central Perk, the same scene is continued from before the break. With Joey, Monica, Rachel, and Chandler sitting on the couch.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is reading at the kitchen table as there is a knock on the door.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is showing off the entertainment center.]
Joey: This is the unit for you my friend. Sturdy construction, tons of storage compartments, some big enough to fit a grown man.
[Scene: A street, Chip is walking Monica to his motorcycle.]
Monica: Thats what we used to call your ah, your motorcycle in high school. Y'know how a motorcycle is a Chopper, and youre Chip. Nevermind.
Monica: Is that all?
Monica: Ohh, how is he?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is coming home. As we walks through the door, and without looking up, he goes to throw his keys on the foosball table, only, its gone and the keys it the floor. He then looks up at an empty apartment; everything is gone except for the entertainment center and that ceramic dog. Even the food in the fridge!]
Chandler: What the hell happened?!! How were you locked in?!! And where the hell is all of our stuff?!!
[Scene: Dots Spot, Chip and Monica are on there date, eating dinner. Chip is telling a story.]
Joey: (looking through a deck of cards) Aww, man, he took the five of spades!! Oh, no-no-no, here it is!
Ross: No! No! LookHey, enough is enough! Look, I am sorry that you feel guilty or whatever about spending time with your new mom, but this is not your old mom. This is a cat! Okay, Julio the cat! Not mom! Cat!
Phoebe: Okay, then you dont know what it feels like when one of them comes back. Do you? I believe this is my Mother. Even if Im wrong, who cares? Just be a friend. Okay? Be supportive.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler have trading the entertainment center for the canoe. Joey is sitting in the bow, staring off into space as to envision his future full of possibilities. Chandler is sitting at the stern, staring into space and is looking at an uncertain future.]
Monica: Ill get everybody else (Does so), finally we can start celebrating my(She gasps and is stopped by the sight of Ross and Rachel making out in the hall.) Im sorry, uh apparently Ive opened the door to the past.
Monica: What is wrong with you?!!!
Ross: Oh that is quite all right maam. (Elizabeth exits.)
Ursula: Who is it?
Ross: ALL RIGHT!! Phoebe now come on! Will you please tell me what it is I did that mad you so mad at me!
Ross: I hate Chandler, the bastard ruined my life. (Rachel starts looking around and down, with a 'What the hell is going on?' look on her face.)
(She grabs his arm and drags him over to a table where three beautiful women are sitting. Now, Im going to go out on a limb and say that their names are Stephanie, Karin, and Meg. Okay, so I looked at the credits. Of course, only Meg is named later on, so Ill have to guess who is Stephanie and who is Karin. But, well cross that bridge when we come to it.)
Ross: Mark is that ah, the same Mark that helped you get the job?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is reading a paper as Phoebe enters.]
Monica: Listen Rachel, I feel really bad aboutWhat are you doing? (She sees that Rachel is unpacking.)
Monica: Its so good, that I feel really selfish about being the only one whos eating it, that I think we should have everyone taste how good it is. Especially Ross.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there as Jill enters.]
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there as Rachel enters.]
Joey: (To Ross) What is the matter with you?!
Ross: Well, ok, it's for 25 thousand dollars. And if I get it, I'll finally be able to complete my field research! And there will be an article about me in the "Paleontology Review"! Yeah! That'll be the first time my name is in there, without people raising serious questions about my work!
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is sitting at the counter waiting for Gunther, yep Gunthers back, to refill her coffee.]
Monica: Yes, we are. (Chandler is frantically trying to get Monica to correct her.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, everyone but Monica is there playing Monopoly.]
Ross: The point is I... I don't need this right now, OK. It, it's too late, I'm with somebody else, I'm happy. This ship has sailed.
Ross: (making flinging gestures with hands) Oh, tell me, tell me, is everything, uhh....?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is getting Phoebe ready for her date.]
[Scene: The street, Joey is messing with a car cover and still wearing the Porsche stuff. This guy playing street football catches a pass next to the car cover Joey is fooling around with.]
Monica: Ohhh! (Takes the plate.) No! This is my friend Rachel, we went to High School together.
Joey: (turning and whispering to Monica) Shes not crazy is she?
Jill: Yeah. Ooh, I know what this is missing! Alcohol!
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is setting up for the slide show.]
Phoebe: That is.
Rachel: No! There is.. there is noone else!
Jill: Cant have?! Excuse me, the only thing I cant have is dairy! (Starts to storm out.)
Rachel: Joey no, this is wrong! You have to take it back, okay? You dont want to win an award this way. Youre very talented. And someday youre gonna win one of these for real and that one is gonna mean something.
Rachel: Wow! This is so amazing! What else? What else?
The Producer: This is Wayne, the man who created and operates C.H.E.E.S.E.
Ross: Carol our sex life isits just not working
Rachel: Come on! They rushed into this thing so fast its ridiculous! I mean, theyre gonna be engaged for like what? A year? And somewhere along the way, one of them is gonna realise what theyve done and theyre call the whole thing off. Im telling ya, youre gonna be dancing at my wedding before youre dancing at theres.
Phoebe: Yeah well, that's 'cause Monica put me in charge of cups and ice, and Monica is gonna rue the day that she put me in charge of cups and ice.
MONICA: That's Great. You know we don't need to talk about this now. Really, I mean this is, is so way, way, way, in the future, I'm talkin' hovercrafts and apes taking over the planet.
JOEY: [walks out of his room] Hey, this is ridiculous. I'll tell you what. After I get back from my neice's christening, I'll go down to the coffee house with you and we'll all have a nice cup of coffee alright. No problem, Joey's there.
Monica: No, there is no way! It can not be Ross! (She looks through the window and sees Ross practicing and fumbling around with the pipes.) Unbelievable! Why is your family Scottish?!
Monica: Phoebe, why is smoke coming out of the bathroom?!
Phoebe: No! Its not a cigarette! The smoke is coming out of me!
Ross: Hey Im sorry to do this to you again but uh, is there any way you can look after Ben for a little bit? I-Ive got this meeting at school. And-and he-he asked for his uh, Fun Aunt Rachel, so
Phoebe: Oh God! Is that veal?
{Transcribers Note: This is where Part II begins, which means this is now episode 616.}
Rachel: Well, it is, all right? When we were out there today, all I kept thinking was: I can't believe Chandler is screwing this woman, but MAN this would be a nice place to live!
Phoebe: What the hell is this, herbal tea? I hate herbal tea!
Ross: Hey, if there is ever, anything I can do for you...
Rachel: Yeah, it sure is!
Ross: Because! Because, it-it-its Itd be like you having this guitar (Points to hers) and-and never playing it. Okay, this guitar wants to be played! And-and this bike wants to be ridden and-and if you dont ride it you-youre-youre killing its spirit! (Pause) The bike is dying.
Monica: Aunt Syl, stop yelling! All I'm saying is that if you had told me vegetarian lasagna, I would have made vegetarian lasagna. (pauses, listens to person on phone) Well, the meat's only every third layer, maybe you could scrape.
Ross: How hot is this?!
PHOEBE: OK, hi. For your information this is exactly what I wanted. This is a tattoo of the earth as seen from a great distance. It's the way my mother sees me from heaven.
Chandler: Well good, good for you. You really think that Roger is the perfect guy?
Monica: I have no moves. (He moves in to kiss her and she laughs and backs away.) Okay, whatcha doin there?! (Giggles.) Oh yknow what? Im sorry, this is just too weird.
Rachel: (wakes up suddenly and realizes where she is) Oh right.
[Scene: Joey's apartment, the next morning, Rachel is passed out on the couch.]
Ross: No! The reason Im asking is that I sorta had one last night.
[Scene: Phoebes office, she is arriving without the knowledge that shes been fired.]
Monica: Yeah, well, Im using noise. Okay. All right! So, is everybody ready? Here we go. (She flips on the switch and a hum starts.) I hear something! I hear something! Where is it? (They all start looking until Rachel realises its Joey.)
Rachel: Is Joey Tribbiani here?
Rachel: Well, you might want to tell him it sounds like his wife is (whispers) gay.
(Chandler is completely astounded.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is there as Rachel storms in.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Chandler, and Phoebe are there. Joey is working.]
(She takes off the coat she was wearing over her wedding dress, which is violet and has a darker shade petticoat underneath which shows at one side where the dress is lifted up to about the height of her hip and connected to the petticoat. She's wearing a veil over her curly hair and a low cut top with straps only just hanging over her shoulders.)
(Rachel picks up their phone and the ringing stops. As she talks on the phone, an elaborate visual gag is spun out which is too difficult to describe in words.)
Chandler: Hey-hey, is Monica here?
Rachel: Oh b-b-but it is!
Phoebe: What is that?
Phoebe: Chandler, your being here is the best Christmas present I could have ever imagined.
Rachel: Oh no! No! No-no-no-no! No, I mean come on thats-thats crazyI mean thats crazy. So whats-whats going on with you? What is going on with you?
Phoebe: Fine. The reason that I was leaning a little bit more toward Rachel than you is just that youre just kinda high maintenanceOkay lets go to lunch!
David: Are... are you kidding? You know, when you don't see someone for a long time, a-a-and you kind of build them up in your head and you start thinking about: Come on, don't be crazy. Nobody is that beautiful, but... well, you are. (Phoebe seems very charmed) Well, so, uhm... are you seeing... anyone? (Phoebe is still up on a cloud from what David just said)
Ross: Hey Pheebs, maybe this whole heart attack thing is a sign, that-that you should start think about getting a different job.
(They go through the doors into the trauma room, opening them by ramming the gurney through them, only Chandler's foot is hanging off the end and he screams in pain.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel is ranting about Jill to Chandler and Monica.]
Joey: Look, Rach, Rach! I've been with my share of women. In fact, I've been with like a lot of people's share of women. The point is, I've never felt about anyone the way Ross felt about you.
Monica: Well, I did one time, and-and I want to start doing it more. See thats what this is about.
Monica: Oh, what a great gift! Is The Way You Look Tonight on it?!
Rachel: All right Joey! That is enough! (Grabs him and pulls him away from Bobby and Dina) Listen, as beautiful and moving as this ceremony is, its not legal. Okay? They-they dont have a marriage license, they dont have any witnesses, and the groom only has on one shoe!
Monica: Oop, your cake is ready!
DR. BURKE: I didn't need to know that. I guess 21 years is a lot. I mean, hell, I'm a whole person who can drink older than you.
Chandler: Who the hell is Carl?!
Ross: Oh, I know. (Laughs) Yknow, just-just talking about it is getting me kinda
Rachel: Okay! (Picks up the phone and starts dialing.) (In an Irish accent) "Hello Ross, this is Dr. McNeeley from the Fake Accent University, wed like you to come on board with us full time! (Hangs up.)
Monica: The Way You Look Tonight is on here! Dance with me?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, Janice are sitting on the couch, and Phoebe is sitting next to them in the chair.]
Chandler: Yeah, either that, or Gloria Estefan was right, eventually, the rhythm is going to get you.
Ross: Look, this is my home and I want to be able to come and go whenever I want!
Phoebe: Why is Ross doing that?
(Phoebe picks up her cell-phone and calls Monica. Monica is still packing in her apartment.)
Chandler: Oh, is that against the rules?
Ross: No, but it is frowned upon.
Rachel: Okay, wait a minute, wait a minute, why are we so sure that this is a girl?
Monica: Thats okay, this is more important than fruit (pause) (angrily) on my ceiling! You broke up?!
Phoebe: Hey Ross! So listen, about you and the dinosaur girl, are you really just gonna let a couple of Nobel prizes scare you off? What is that, come on, a piece of paper?
(They start to look around seeing that the living room is undamaged.)
Joey: Oh, how bad is it?
[The next clip is from The One Where Ross and Rachel.... You Know.]
Ross: Yknow what? I can easily get out of this, but there is a chance you can get very, very hurt!
Joey: Chandler, is that (Mimes someone using a movie camera and Chandler nods yes.)