words in movies
Rachel: Are you joking? Check out is not til noon and he has a good (checks her watch) eleven minutes left.
[Scene: Rosss Hotel Room, he is letting Chandler in.]
Chandler: Hey. (He sees that Ross is packing all of the hotel toiletries) Soaps? Shampoos? Are you really taking all this stuff?
Chandler: Yeah but you dont need(Picks up something)What is this?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe is entering to see Monica sitting in front of a mound of wedding gifts.]
Monica: No! (Pause) But, theyre callin out to me! I mean this little guy (Holds up a small one) even crawled up into my lap. Oh come on, Chandler wouldnt mind if I opened just one present! What do you think it is?
Monica: Whew. Although yknow, this is part of a salt and pepper set. I mean I guess yknow it may just count as a half a present. What do you think?
Phoebe: Ooh, is it someone in this building? Is it that tall guy from the first floor?
Monica: Wow. Yknow it is so weird. I mean, youre gonna tell this guy today and he has no idea whats gonna happen.
Rachel: Yeah. Uh-huh, I guess it is pretty big news.
Joey: Oh. Why would you scare me like that? What the hell is going on? (Pause.) Is somebody pregnant?
Joey: Well who is this guy?! Huh? Who is he? Cause I will track him down and kick his ass!
[Scene: The Banquet Room, Chandler is under one of the tables as Ross enters.]
Chandler: Well this is great. Yknow, those cameras were the only thing that was gonna cheer Monica up today, shes really depressed.
Ross: Now you guys just got married, why is she so depressed?
Chandler: All my energy is going into not asking that question. I cant believe I screwed this up!
Ross: Im sorry man. (Formally dressed people start to enter.) Heres a thought. This is the same ballroom. Theres a band. Theres gonna be plenty of dressed up people.
Ross: No-no-no, Im saying we-we buy more of this (disposable cameras) at the gift shop, throw our tuxes back on, and take a few pictures. All we have to do is make sure not to get anybody elses faces.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is sitting on the couch as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Oh, well what are you doing here? Are you about to do it? (Gasps) Is it Gunther?
Rachel: Phoebe the father is not here okay? I havent told him yet and I dont think I can tell him at all now!
Rachel: No, you! Phoebe you freaked me out. You kept saying how huge this all is!
Phoebe: Well-well but it is huge.
Rachel: I know, but I was just thinking about how huge this is for me. I didnt even go to how huge this was going to be for the father.
Phoebe: Who? Who is it?
Phoebe: (gasps) Oh my God! I know who the father is (She walks into Monica and Chandlers.)
Rachel: What? Hey wait a minute! Phoebe, how do you even know who the father is?
[Scene: The Banquet Room, Ross is taking a picture of a plant, Chandler a fork. The band stops.]
Ross: Will the owner of a 1995 Buick LeSabre please see the front desk? Your car is about to be towed.
Phoebe: Rachel has something that she wants to tell you and umm, I believe that this is your red sweater.
Tag: No. (Unzips his coat.) This is my red sweater.
Tag: It is the right time. (Takes her hand.)
Monica: I know! I know! I am a terrible person! I mean, Chandler is never going to trust me with anything ever again!
Monica: Yeah. What is that?
Rachel: Tag is not the father! And Joey knows now?
Monica: So are you ever gonna tell whoever it is?
Chandler: (showing her the pictures) Heres a picture of Ross. (Shows another one.) And thats me. (Another one.) And thats me and Ross. (Another one.) Oh-ho, that is a picture of our first kiss as a married couple.
Monica: Wow! That is a great picture!
Chandler: Okay, so this isnt a picture of our first, but it is a picture of my first kiss with with this lady. Which by the look on your face Im sure youll remember. So we dont need(Rips the picture)Theres no need to have this picture. How about I take the real pictures and get them developed right now.
Tag: So whose is it?
Ross: He is so weird.
[Time lapse, dinner is now finished and Ross is looking out the window.]
Phoebe: Oh my God. This is where you got all our stuff, Pottery Barn! Oh my God!
Chandler: The ball is Janice. The ball is Janice. (goes to kick the ball but kicks Rosss foot instead.)
Jack: I know what you're thinking Judy, the resemblance is uncanny!
Joey: Mine's is to Lilian Myers.
Rachel: Yes, his name is Barry, hes a doctor, thank you very much.
Monica: This is my dress!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is sweeping up as Rachel enters.]
Chandler: Me asking is kind of a sign.
Monica: Yes it is! You saw me wearing it!
Woman: Hi, is uh Phoebe here?
Ross: Probably. But you know, I'll tell you something. Passion is way overrated.
Monica: No. No. Not it. Not it. Not it. (Checks another rack and another woman tries to reach around her.) (To the woman) Dont crowd me! (Finds it) This is it! This is the dress! Oh my God, its perfect! (She takes it off of the rack and someone has a hold of it on the other side of the rack and tugs on it.) Im sorry, this ones taken! (The other woman tugs harder pulling Monica through the rack.) Whoa!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is going through her purse as Rachel rushes in.]
Chandler: (interrupting in the nick of time) Joey, I uh! I can't believe this is how I'm spending my anniversary.
Monica: Okay, this is the den. All right, check this out. Lights! (the lights turn on automatically, but are very bright) Whoa! All right. Less lights! Bad lights! Lights go away! (they dim) Oh, see you just need to find the right command.
(He holds up a white poster with huge red letters. It reads, "Welcome Home Baby." There is also a huge red stain on the left of the poster.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Chandler is looking at the foosball table.]
Mrs. Geller: Stupid Jack, the word is stupid.
Monica: Ross let me ask you a question. All jokes aside, where is this relationship going?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler comes running in. Everyone else is already there.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica and Chandler are returning from dinner, Rachel is already there.]
Rachel: Well what?! How-how much is it?!
Ross: That's right, sex is off the table. (The door starts to open behind him and Dr. Green emerges) I am never having sex with you again. (Rachel stays quiet and after a few moments Ross realizes what has happened. He turns abruptly) Dr. Green, are you feeling better? (Rachel's dad glares at him with a deadly look)
Monica: This is the most special day of our lives.
Rachel: Look, I know that you guys really want to get to Vermont and this isn't a really big deal to you, but it really is to us, ok? Emma will never have a first birthday again.
ROSS: You know, you know, actually it's getting better. It is. It is. Let's not go. Anyone for Thcrabble?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is having coffee with Dana.]
Joey: Just out of curiosity, how-how much is that boat worth?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is looking at the wedding book as Monica enters.]
Ross: (talking to himself) My God! These pants are burning up! (He's still wearing the leather pants.) (She snuggles closer.) Oh come on, she wants to snuggle now! What is she trying to kill me? It's like a volcano in here! (Out loud.) Are you hot?
[Scene: The Emergency Room. The officious admissions nurse is again on duty. Rachel and Monica enter, looking worried. As they approach the desk, Rachel adopts a winning smile, while Monica struggles to smile at all.]
Rachel: Joey! It is an auction! You dont guess, you buy!
Rachel: Do you even know what a vicar is?
(She goes out into the hall and when shes there and the door is closed; she rips off her robe to reveal her work clothes.)
[Cut to the living room, Joey is eating a sandwich.)
Rachel: Ok, I know this is gonna sound really stupid, but I feel that if I can do this, you know, if I can actually do my own laundry, there isn't anything I can't do.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is singing Happy Birthday to yet another good-looking woman. Gunther is watching and is not very happy.]
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Phoebe is pacing back and forth waiting for someone.]
Phoebe: You'd better get back in that kitchen Monica, the garlic is not gonna overuse itself.
Rachel: Joey, there is a perfectly good couch across the hall!
Joey: I had to get out of the apartment. Janine is like stretching all over the place. Yknow, everywhere I look shes like (He imitates her stretching)
Charlie: Joey is a great guy, but we're just... so different! I mean, during your speech he kept laughing at homo erectus!
Ross: Oh, and also, hes, hes walkin kind of funny, his left leg is moving a lot faster than his right leg, and hes in there just sort of y'know... (walks around in a circle)
Phoebe: Oh, so this is all about money! Yknow its bad enough thatOw! Oh, you have got to be kidding!
Rachel: Right. So, what you have to do is, you have to accidentally run into her on purpose. And then act aloof.
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Chandler is trying to get Joeys money back from Ross.]
Joey: Well, lesson learned! Rachel is mean!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, and Chandler are sitting on the couch and chair as Phoebe is getting coffee.]
Chandler: No, our guy is just a floating head.
Rachel: (returning) Wait-wait-wait, I just thought of another story about how nice Ross is!
(Phoebe then gets possessed 'cause she starts speaking in tongues. She speaks Italian to Joey's grandmother. She is quickly exorcised and returns to speaking in English. Of course, too most people English is a strange language as well. But none of them are probably reading this and if they were they wouldn't understand it. So why am I talking about them? I have absolutely no clue. Moving on )
Monica: (entering) Chandler is such an idiot!
(They walk into a completely redecorated and repainted room. And of course, the room is immaculate. Only an obsessive-compulsive like Monica could find fault with the room.)
[Scene: Chandler's bedroom, he is giving Monica a massage.]
Joey: Yes it is perfectly good, and it is not one of the places the duck got sick!
Chandler: (clearly lying and hating the dessert) Yeah, this is so good, that Im gonna go enjoy it on the balcony so that I can enjoy the view whilst I enjoy my dessert.
Monica: I cant believe it! That there is no money for my wedding?!
Chandler: Thats right, I can throw her off. I can make her think marriage is the last thing on my mind.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is getting a phone number from a woman (Casey) as Chandler watches from the doorway.]
Kathy: Oh. Well uh, (to Chandler) you not being able to talk may make this easier. Listen umm (She looks at the gang who are watching, they take the hint and leave them alone.) Listen I dont wanna be someone who comes between two best friends. I just, I cant stand seeing what this is doing to you guys, and I dont wanna be the cause of that. So, I dont think we can see each other anymore. Im gonna go to my moms in Chicago, Im gonna stay there for awhile. I think this couldve be something really amazing, but yknow this is probably for the best. Yknow? Im gonna miss you. Good-bye, Chandler.
Rachel: No! No! No! Im not yelling at you, Im just yelling near you. Oh God Joey, ohh Im my father. Oh my God, this is horrible! Ive been trying so hard not to be my mother I did not see this comin. Oh, Joey, Im sorry. Im so sorry. I just wanted you to learn.
[Scene: Central Park, Ross is teaching Ben how to ride a bike. Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are they also.]
Rachel: Is Monica around? I-I have to ask her something.
Rachel: Yeah! Its weird. But the thing is need to find a date.
Phoebe: I dont know why I was so nervous about this. And I dont know why Frank and Alice are always complaining. This is so easy.
Rachel: Honey, this is not your fault, just because you guys had a fight, it does not justify her sleeping with someone.
Terry: Im sorry Joey thats thats the way it is.
Rachel: All right, its okay. One little setback is okay, just dont let it happen again, all right? Now since daddy paid for all this stuff, I should take it all away. But Im just gonna take the-the pajmena. (Ross hands it to her.) And the uh, and the uh pants. Yknow what, Im just gonna take it all away, cause that way youll just really learn the lesson. Okay? All righty, Im gonna run a couple of errands and I will see you at dinner. (Leaves with all of Jills stuff.)
Ross: Look, just because some idiot drew on your face doesn't mean you shouldn't have any fun! Okay? And besides, hey-hey-hey no one is even gonna look at you. Okay? This is Vegas! Hello! There are tons of other freaks here! (Rachel turns around and glares at him.) There are tons of freaks here. No other. No. Come on! No one will notice, I swear!
(Joey walks out, while Rachel is pensive. Once he's out of her room, he suddenly realizes who she was talking about and goes back in. He looks at her in disbelief and she looks like she was caught red-handed)
Megan: Oh no, these dresses are all so amazing but there is no way I could afford one.
Rachel: Ohh, my new assistant is working out, yes.
Phoebe: HeyOoh, hows Hilda? Is she working out?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is playing living room golf as Rachel enters. Rachel sees this and holds the door open until Chandler is ready to start his swing, when he is, she slams the door shut which causes the club to fly from his hands. He turns around, shocked.]
Chandler: (To Monica) Of course it is. (Mouths to Ross) Wowwhoa!
Kathy: Cute assistant! Whats his story? Is he
(Little Chandler is pulling Chandler's sweater, while Leslie is throwing bagels at him.)
Chandler: I just have to know, okay. Is it my hair?
Mrs. Geller: (rubbing her temples) Thats alot of information to get in in thirty seconds! Alright Joey, if wanna leave, just leave. Rachel, no you werent supposed to put beef in the trifle. It did not taste good. Phoebe, Im sorry, but I think Jacques Cousteau is dead. (Phoebe makes a sad face.) Monica, why you felt you had to hide the fact that you were in an important relationship is beyond me.
Phoebe: He is! But hes getting divorcedRoss! Maybe you know him.
Rachel: Phoebe, if this guys going through a divorce, is it such a good idea to start going out with him?
Ross: Oh, is that funny?! Oh, you-you find that funny?! Well maybe Chandler should know some of your secrets too!
Chandler: Dude that is so sad.
Phoebe: Ohh, let me see it! Let me see your hand! (Chandler is frantically trying to wave them off.)
Ross: See but, Pheebs that-that is the exact opposite intent of my music. Yknow my music is-is meant to inspire, and if it bothers you this much, then I I wont play anymore.
Melissa: Umm, is Tag here?
The Photographer: Im sorry, is the seat uncomfortable?
Chandler: Sure I do. In fact, I think the whole concept of marriage is unnatural. I mean look at pigs. Lets take a second here and look at pigs. Okay pigs dont mate for life. I mean a pig can have like a hundred sexual partners in a lifetime, and thats just an ordinary pig not even a pig thats good at sports!
Monica: They cant all be bad. (To Chandler) Find the one where you make your bedroom eyes. Ohh, there it is.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is putting away her guitar as a man approaches.]
Phoebe: Oh yeah it is! Im going to the movies and it starts in like five minutes.
Rachel: Oh wow. Thatyknow what? That is so unfair. Yknow what? Now I want to steal your thunder! Come on Ross, lets go have sex!
Phoebe: (interrupting him) No listen to me! She is crazy!
Phoebe: You see? Nothing is good enough for her!
Chandler: Look, Joey, Kathy is clearly not fulfilling your emotional needs. But Casey, I mean granted I only saw the back of her head, but I got this sense that shes-shes smart, and funny, and gets you.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is once again being dragged in by Ross so he that he can try to manipulate the situation so that its best for Ross, not necessarily whats best for Monica and Chandler.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is teaching Chandler how to smile. Chandler is smiling.]
VAN DAMME: Can't you see what's going on here, this man is dying.
Monica: Okay, guys, listen, don't forget that tomorrow is the day that Emily gets married again, so whatever we do, just try to really keep Ross's mind off of it.