words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Rachel, Joey, and Monica are sitting on the couch as Ross is up getting some coffee.]
Monica: Okay, guys, listen, don't forget that tomorrow is the day that Emily gets married again, so whatever we do, just try to really keep Ross's mind off of it.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is kneeling at the coffee table and has a bunch of pictures laid out in front of her as Rachel enters.]
Monica: Okay, I've broken them down into categories. Okay, we have uh, we got holidays, birthdays, candids, y'know And then what I've done is I've cross-referenced them by subject. Right? So if you're looking up, oh let's say birthdays and dogs, you get Photo 152. See? (Hands her the photo.)
[Scene: Gary's cop car, Ross is in the front seat with Gary of course. Chandler is in the back seat.]
Chandler: It is starting to get dark out there.
Chandler: (laughing) Okay. (Deadpan) But it is officially nighttime.
[Time lapse, they're still on the ride along and Joey is just sniffing his sandwich.]
Joey: Half the taste is in the smell! You-you're sucking up all the tastiness!
Chandler: Okay, I'll give them back. (Exhales strongly through his nose and Joey just glares at him.) Look! What is so great about that sandwich?
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Rachel is just entering. She takes off her coat and heads for the kitchen. As she does, she knocks something off of a bookcase next to the kitchen door with her coat and it breaks.]
Rachel: So all we have is ice?
Emily: (on answering machine) Hello Ross? It's Emily. (Rachel runs back into the room with the tequila.) I know this is out of the blue but uh, I'm getting married tomorrow. Well, maybe I am. I keep thinking about you and I'm wondering if-if we made a mistake giving up so fast. Are you thinking about me? Of course you're not, but if you are, call me tonight. Okay, bye.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Rachel is playing Emily's message to Monica.]
Monica: We have too! I mean what if Ross's hears that and then calls her back and then they get back together? Is that what you want? Ross back with that controlling, neurotic, crazy Emily? The Emily that wouldn't let him see you?
Monica: No, look, she's obviously unstable, okay? I mean she's thinking about running out on her wedding day. (Rachel slowly turns and glares at her.) (Realizing what she just said.) Okay, fine! But I mean, look at the position she's putting him in! What's he gonna do? Ross is gonna run over there on the wedding day and break up the marriage?! I mean, who would do that?! (Rachel again turns and glares at her in disgust.) Okay, fine, all right, but that's y'know, it's different! Although it did involve a lot of the same people.
Monica: Y'know what, this is obviously some kind of twisted joke she's trying to play on him.
Ross: What is it?
Gary: Okay, here he comes. What is he doing? What the hell is he doing?!
Ross: What? What? What? What is it?
Joey: Is everything okay?
(They all turn and look away. Suddenly a loud bang sounds out and in slow motion Joey slowly throws his body over Ross. Gary is shocked at what he sees while Chandler is obviously hurt.)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Monica has all the supplies she needs and is getting ready to leave.]
Phoebe: (excited) John Glenn is here?!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is pacing as Joey enters.]
Joey: Is something wrong?
Joey: That's what this is about! Oh my God, you hate Ross!
Joey: I know it sounds crazy, but Chandler this is (Goes and picks up the sandwich) the greatest sandwich in the world!
Joey: How good is that?
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Rachel is trying to repair the thing she broke earlier, but gets interrupted by hearing Ross at the door. She panics and throws the thing into the kitchen. And runs to the couch as Ross enters.]
Rachel: Hey! Y'know what? You are in our apartment all the time! Okay? This is, this is just a drop in the bucket mister!
Ross: Y'know, it-it doesn't matter. The important thing is that you're here. You're my friend, and you're here. Oh! (He goes over and hugs her.)
Rachel: Okay. Thank you! Thank you! BecauseI'm sorry, all right. Because y'know what? She didn't want menot important. The point is, I was right. Your decision. Okay? I was right. (She starts for the door.) (Stops) Your decision.
Ross: You weren't there! Okay, maybe this is something that I-I'm supposed to seize! Y'know?
Rachel: Okay, y'know what? Maybe, this is not about seizing stuff. Maybe this is about escaping stuff.
Rachel: I mean, look-look today you escaped (Pause) (Not believing it) death, y'know? And maybe this is a chance for you to escape getting back together with Emily?
Ross: Yeah. Maybe today is just, close call day.
Ross: Oh wait-wait-wait! The message is blinking. Maybe you didn't erase it.
(Ross is stunned.)
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there.]
(Joey gets all happy with himself, while the rest of the gang is less than enthused.)
Monica: Hold on a second! What is that on her ankle?
Mrs. Tribbiani: Of course I knew! What did you think? Your father is no James Bond. You should've heard some of his cover stories. "I'm sleeping over at my accountant's," I mean, what is that? Please!
Phoebe: (singing) Love is sweet as summer showers, love is a wondrous work of art, but your love oh your love, your love...is like a giant pigeon...crapping on my heart. La-la-la-la-la- (some guy gives her some change and to that guy) Thank you. (sings) La-la-la-la...ohhh!
Monica: Oh, that is so sweet. (Touched, she puts an arm around her friend and kisses her.) Oh gosh, love you. Insurance?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Everyone is there. Monica is watching stock prices on a business channel.]
Phoebe: Well, yeah! Fun is good, but y'know I also wanted to learn. Y'know, people are always talking about what they learned in high school and I never went to high school.
Chandler: What the hell happened?!! How were you locked in?!! And where the hell is all of our stuff?!!
PHOEBE: Oh! Oh my god. This is so exciting. How much am I gonna get?
CHANDLER: Your boyfriend is so cool.
Monica: Oh, so there is gonna be a fifth date?
Joey: (concerned) Oh. Whats, whats going on? Is it mom? Is she sick? Is it dads heart? Is that a sandwich?
Chandler: Nothin! This is the nine millionth ring store weve been too and I cant find the perfect ring! (Goes over to another display counter and starts pointing at rings.) Ugly ring! Ugly ring! Ugly ring! (Notices that one of the jewelers is watching him.) Its a beautiful selection. (The jeweler walks away slowly.)
Joey: Oh well, hey, Joeys loveable too! But the thing about Joey is, if you need him, hell be there.
Ross: Thats correct! This is an audio question, what do you do when the baby makes this sound? (Makes a sound like someone is choking a cat.)
JOEY: Get outta here. This is our stop too.
CHANDLER: Please tell me you know which one is our baby.
Ross: All right. (They start up the stairs. Ross is first.) Okay, here we go!
Director: You know what. I think this audition is over. (Joey looks disappointed, but understands.)
CHANDLER: Heads it is.
Dina: Joey, I cant stand the thought of having this baby with you mad at me. I want him to have his uncle. Is my baby gonna have his Uncle Joey?
Ross: (Bangs on the bathroom door) Emily? Emily? Im coming in. (He opens the door to reveal that the window is gone, along with Emily.)
(They all make happy faces as they are unable to express their feelings verbally. Finally, the phone rings and the race to answer it is won by Monica.)
Rachel: Okay sir, um-mm, let see if I got this right. Ah, so this is a half-caf, double tall, easy hazel nut, non-fat, no foam, with whip, extra hot latte, right? (the guy nods) Okay, great. (she starts to walk away and under her breath) You freak.
MONICA: Wait a minute, wait a minute. Yes he is. You are totally different.
Chandler: Y'know, I would be offended, but Monica is freakishly strong, so
MONICA: Remember it? What do you think this is, a freckle?
Chandler: Oh, so thats this is gonna work now? Youre just gonna order me around all the time?
Steve: (from the living room) Is it dry in here? (licks his lips)
[Scene: Joey is back at Hayley's place after there date.]
Woman: Oh, I'm sorry, is that your basket? It's really pretty. Unfortunately, I don't see suds.
[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Phoebe is watching a Spanish version of The Waltons. At a nearby table sit Monica knitting, Rachel winding a ball of wool, and Chandler supplying them both from a skein which is spread between his hands.]
Joey: She said she wants to slather my body with stuff and then lick it off. I'm not even sure what slathering is, but I definitely want to be a part of it.
Mr. Tribbiani: Joe, your dad's in love big time. And the worst part of it is, it's with two different women.
Ross: Yknow what? I-Im not even gonna talk about this. Okay? This little thing is over. I know you have a girlfriend! Okay(Ned looks shocked)Yeah! And I know about the other professors! How do you think that makes me feel Ned?! You used me! You dont love me and you never did! (Ross turns around to make a grand exit but runs into two colleagues.) Ah Professor Winston, Professor Fredrickson, Ill be right with you. (To Ned) Dont make this worse and Ill give you a C. (To the professors) Shall we? (They leave.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is handing out copies of her book to the gang.]
JOEY: This man is my God.
Monica: Do you realize this is probably the last time well all be here in the coffee house as six single people?
Phoebe: Wow, that sounds great! And what are you making Monica, in case Rachels dessert is...[about to say bad] so good that I eat all of it. Theres none left for anybody else!
Monica: No! Rachel is meeting us here.
ROSS: That, that is funny. That is painfully funny. No, wait. Wait, yeah, that's just painful
Monica: Where is everybody? They're forty-five minutes late!
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Ross is telling Monica and Joey about his date with Elizabeth.]
Ross: So um...Thanksgiving. The holiday season is upon us, hm?
(He brought home Chandler for Thanksgiving. Chandler is sporting the very popular Flock of Seagulls haircut. Yeah, it's another you have to see it to believe it kinda thing.)
MONICA: This is for the scratchy twins out there. I taped oven mits to their hands.
Ross: Wha? Oh, come on. You didnt have tosaltwater taffy?! (Mona laughs) Thanks! This is interesting. You know, most people think this is made with sea water, but its actually made with, uh, salted fresh water. Thats not interesting.
(Chandler walks over to the counter where Phoebe is, and is asking her about the break-up.)
Laura: Is he alright out there by himself?
Rachel: (from another room) Oh my God, what a great surprise! This is such a beautiful house.
Ross: Did you see me? I was pretty good, huh? That is one fun game!
Joey: Thank you all for coming. We're here today to pay respects to a wonderful agent and a beautiful woman... (Joey looks at the photograph) ..inside. As Estelle's only two clients we would like to say a few words. (Joey looks for his notes. The man next to him is chewing something.) Dude, where's my speech? (the man swallows something and looks at Joey.) That is entertaining. Al Zebooker everybody. (he applauds and Al shows that there's nothing left in his mouth.)
RACH: Oh, oh, this is good, this is really good.
RACH: Well what is it? Let me see.
RACH: What's that? What? I saw my name. What is it?
ROSS: He won't? [remembers what it is] He won't! Because, isn't that, isn't that the, the short story you were writing?
RACH: What is this? Ross, what is this?
CHAN: Yes, yes it is, short story, that I was writing.
Ross: Ok. Well, before I say anything, I just need to know, is this one of those things where you break up with a guy, and then I tell you what I think, and then the next day you get back together with the guy, and I look like a complete idiot?
Chandler: Okay, okay-okay, ah, Chloe works with that guy Issac. Issacs sister is Jasmine. And Jasmine works at that message place with Phoebe. And Phoebes friends with Rachel. And thats the trail, I did it!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Its closer to dinner. Monica has just told everyone that Tim is coming to dinner.]
[Scene: Mr. Ratstatter's office. Monica is there.]
[Ross is at his apartment.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's Balcony, Rachel is having drinks with her date, Carl.]
[Scene: Mr. Ratstatter's office. Monica is there.]
MNCA: [to Ross] Listen, I... I don't think this is the best time.
Ross: The blond woman is my ex-wife, and the woman touching her is her... close, personal friend.
Rachel: No! I mean come on! This is a huge deal! (She sits next to him on the couch.) Fine I wantI need more details, who-who initiated the first kiss?
CHANDLER: Oh, see, I had to tell her that my number was your number, because I couldn't tell her that my number was my number because she thinks that my number is Bob's number.
[Scene: Mr. Ratstatter's (RTST) office. Monica is there about a job.]
MONICA: Ross, that is gorgeous!
PHOEBE: This is my father, this is a picture of my dad.
Phoebe: Yeah, she clamed she had to go out of town suddenly. Shes avoiding me, she doesnt want to tell me where my Father is. She knows, and she wont tell me.
Mrs. Green: Its like youre a cave person. Rachel, you must get a nanny. You dont know how overwhelming this is going to be. I mean when you were a baby I had full time help, I had Mrs. Kay.
PHOEBE: [showing her pictures] OK, look, see, this is him. My mother gave me this picture before she died, same guy.
PHOEBE: OK, is this really my father?
Sarah: Oh, no! This is work. I should call in. Can you excuse me?
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Rachel is cleaning up and Monica is pleading with her.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is there for his interview and everyone but Phoebe are hiding on the couch.]
Young Ethan: All right, look. I've gotta tell you something. I'm not 17. I only said so that you'd think I was cute and vunerable. I'm actually 30, I have a wife, I have a job, I'm your Congressman. Monica, this is ridiculous, we're great together. We can talk, we make each other laugh, and the sex. Oh, man, okay i have no frame of graft, but I thought that was great.
Chandler: It is going to be perfect. I am taking her to her favorite restaurant. Im going to get her a bottle of the champagne that she really loves; therefore knows how expensive it is. Then when the glasses are full, instead of proposing a toast Im just gonna propose.
[Scene: A nice restraunt. Rachel is on her date with Michael (MICH).]
Erica: I don't want to look at your file! This is over.
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, is the one where Rachel screwed up the desert and Ross and Joey are trying to enjoy it.]
CHANDLER: And twenty-five it is.
CHANDLER: Oh, so that's what this is for.
JOEY: Sure is.
[Scene: Phoebe's massage parlour, she has Steve on the table, and is giving him an extra-painful massage.]
Joey: Why dont you ask Chandler, cause hes the one that fooled around with her. She told me you said you could really fall for her. Now is that true? Or are you just gettin over Janice by groping my sister.
Mrs. Bing: He's not a hero. ...You know who our hero is.
[Scene: In front of Macys, Phoebe has adorned her bucket with numerous signs. Like "We are not a urinal!" and "I have no Macys info." And other stuff like that. She also has a scowl on her face as she is ringing her bell. A little old lady walks up to make a donation but Phoebe stops her.]
[Scene: Outside Phoebe's dad's house. Phoebe is running back to the cab.]
ROSS: Well this, this is too much, I feel like I should get you another sweater.
Joey: Thank you. (stands up and kisses her lips.) Waiter! �lright, this is gonna be fast, so try to keep up: Risotto with the shaped truffles and the roasted rip steak with the golden Chanterelles and a Bordelaise sauce and that any that stuff I just said means snails. (Hope, *I* kept up.)
[Scene: A Department Store, Joey is selling men's cologne.]
Alice: Phoebes right Frank. I know its hard to hear, but it wouldve been wrong to go through with it. I-I-I was being selfish, even though we, we want the same things now, in the future we may not. (to Phoebe) Is that it, is that what it is?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is waiting for Rachel to return from the airport with Ross.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is working. Ross enters with Ben.]
PHOE: Fun Bobby is so great.
(Chandler walks back to couch, where Janice is.)
Bank Officer: Close your accounts? Is there some kind of problem?