words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Everyone is there. Monica is watching stock prices on a business channel.]
PHOEBE: No, 'cause you just said dad and everywhere I go today I keep getting signs telling me to go see my father. Like when I was walking over here and I passed a buffet...which is my father's last name.
PHOEBE: And they were serving franks which is his first name minus the s at the end. And there was a rotisserie with spinning chicken.
PHOEBE: Hamburger. McDonald's. Old MacDonald had a farm, my dad is a pharmacist.
CHANDLER: Ok, there is one more way to say it, who knows it?
LITTLE BULLY: Is that supposed to be funny?
LITTLE BULLY: I just took your hat. See, I can be funny too. My, my joke is that I, I took your hat.
CHANDLER: That, that is funny. Can I have it back?
RACHEL: Ohh, what is in that?
JOEY: Phoebs, he's just a little dog. [turns back to the car window and the dog is halfway through it.] Ahhh.
ROSS: Ok, ok look, see, the thing is we're, we're not gonna fight you guys.
PHOEBE: I just think that this was a really bad sign, ya know. I mean, like the beast at the threshold, you know. It's just like, I have no family left, ya know. I mean except for my grandmother, you know, but let's face it, she's not gonna be around forever, despite what she says. And I have a sister who I've barely spoken to since we like shared a womb. I don't know, this is my real father and I just, I want things to be like just right.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Joey is eating breakfast, Rachel has just gotten up, and Monica is on the phone.]
MONICA: I wanna buy 5 shares of SGJ and I wanna buy them now. C'mon time is money my friend. Thank you. Wooo.
RACHEL: Time is money my friend?
MONICA: MEG was good for me but I dumped her. Ya know, my motto is get out before they go down.
JOEY: That is so not my motto.
RACHEL: Ok, so Phoebe, now are you gonna call your dad and let him know that his dog is ok?
JOEY: [in a fake voice] Uhh, hello Miss Buffay. I know where your dog is. I want you to know that he'll be returned to you, almost as good as new, within, within 24 hours. Uh, goodbye. [hangs up]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Ross is sitting at the bar, Chandler serves up two mugs of hot water.]
CHANDLER: Ya know I think this is much better than the coffee house.
JOEY: [walks out of his room] Hey, this is ridiculous. I'll tell you what. After I get back from my neice's christening, I'll go down to the coffee house with you and we'll all have a nice cup of coffee alright. No problem, Joey's there.
[Scene: Outside Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is returning.]
[Scene: Phoebe's dad's house. Phoebe is returning the dog who is bandaged up and has a plastic cone around it's neck.]
PHOEBE: Sure, oh, is, is Frank home.
PHOEBE: Just from a, from a long time ago. Is he here?
FRANK: This is huge, you can buy me beer.
[Scene: The 50's theme cafe. Monica is working the grill, the rest are at a table.]
Monica: Hold on a second! What is that on her ankle?
Gary: Okay, here he comes. What is he doing? What the hell is he doing?!
Mrs. Tribbiani: Of course I knew! What did you think? Your father is no James Bond. You should've heard some of his cover stories. "I'm sleeping over at my accountant's," I mean, what is that? Please!
Phoebe: (singing) Love is sweet as summer showers, love is a wondrous work of art, but your love oh your love, your love...is like a giant pigeon...crapping on my heart. La-la-la-la-la- (some guy gives her some change and to that guy) Thank you. (sings) La-la-la-la...ohhh!
Monica: Oh, that is so sweet. (Touched, she puts an arm around her friend and kisses her.) Oh gosh, love you. Insurance?
Phoebe: Well, yeah! Fun is good, but y'know I also wanted to learn. Y'know, people are always talking about what they learned in high school and I never went to high school.
Chandler: What the hell happened?!! How were you locked in?!! And where the hell is all of our stuff?!!
PHOEBE: Oh! Oh my god. This is so exciting. How much am I gonna get?
CHANDLER: Your boyfriend is so cool.
Monica: Oh, so there is gonna be a fifth date?
Joey: (concerned) Oh. Whats, whats going on? Is it mom? Is she sick? Is it dads heart? Is that a sandwich?
Chandler: Nothin! This is the nine millionth ring store weve been too and I cant find the perfect ring! (Goes over to another display counter and starts pointing at rings.) Ugly ring! Ugly ring! Ugly ring! (Notices that one of the jewelers is watching him.) Its a beautiful selection. (The jeweler walks away slowly.)
Joey: Oh well, hey, Joeys loveable too! But the thing about Joey is, if you need him, hell be there.
Ross: Thats correct! This is an audio question, what do you do when the baby makes this sound? (Makes a sound like someone is choking a cat.)
JOEY: Get outta here. This is our stop too.
CHANDLER: Please tell me you know which one is our baby.
Ross: All right. (They start up the stairs. Ross is first.) Okay, here we go!
Director: You know what. I think this audition is over. (Joey looks disappointed, but understands.)
CHANDLER: Heads it is.
Dina: Joey, I cant stand the thought of having this baby with you mad at me. I want him to have his uncle. Is my baby gonna have his Uncle Joey?
Ross: (Bangs on the bathroom door) Emily? Emily? Im coming in. (He opens the door to reveal that the window is gone, along with Emily.)
(They all make happy faces as they are unable to express their feelings verbally. Finally, the phone rings and the race to answer it is won by Monica.)
Rachel: Okay sir, um-mm, let see if I got this right. Ah, so this is a half-caf, double tall, easy hazel nut, non-fat, no foam, with whip, extra hot latte, right? (the guy nods) Okay, great. (she starts to walk away and under her breath) You freak.
MONICA: Wait a minute, wait a minute. Yes he is. You are totally different.
Chandler: Y'know, I would be offended, but Monica is freakishly strong, so
MONICA: Remember it? What do you think this is, a freckle?
Chandler: Oh, so thats this is gonna work now? Youre just gonna order me around all the time?
Steve: (from the living room) Is it dry in here? (licks his lips)
[Scene: Joey is back at Hayley's place after there date.]
Woman: Oh, I'm sorry, is that your basket? It's really pretty. Unfortunately, I don't see suds.
[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Phoebe is watching a Spanish version of The Waltons. At a nearby table sit Monica knitting, Rachel winding a ball of wool, and Chandler supplying them both from a skein which is spread between his hands.]
Joey: She said she wants to slather my body with stuff and then lick it off. I'm not even sure what slathering is, but I definitely want to be a part of it.
Mr. Tribbiani: Joe, your dad's in love big time. And the worst part of it is, it's with two different women.
Ross: Yknow what? I-Im not even gonna talk about this. Okay? This little thing is over. I know you have a girlfriend! Okay(Ned looks shocked)Yeah! And I know about the other professors! How do you think that makes me feel Ned?! You used me! You dont love me and you never did! (Ross turns around to make a grand exit but runs into two colleagues.) Ah Professor Winston, Professor Fredrickson, Ill be right with you. (To Ned) Dont make this worse and Ill give you a C. (To the professors) Shall we? (They leave.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is handing out copies of her book to the gang.]
JOEY: This man is my God.
Monica: Do you realize this is probably the last time well all be here in the coffee house as six single people?
Phoebe: Wow, that sounds great! And what are you making Monica, in case Rachels dessert is...[about to say bad] so good that I eat all of it. Theres none left for anybody else!
Monica: No! Rachel is meeting us here.
ROSS: That, that is funny. That is painfully funny. No, wait. Wait, yeah, that's just painful
Monica: Where is everybody? They're forty-five minutes late!
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Ross is telling Monica and Joey about his date with Elizabeth.]
Ross: So um...Thanksgiving. The holiday season is upon us, hm?
(He brought home Chandler for Thanksgiving. Chandler is sporting the very popular Flock of Seagulls haircut. Yeah, it's another you have to see it to believe it kinda thing.)
MONICA: This is for the scratchy twins out there. I taped oven mits to their hands.
Ross: Wha? Oh, come on. You didnt have tosaltwater taffy?! (Mona laughs) Thanks! This is interesting. You know, most people think this is made with sea water, but its actually made with, uh, salted fresh water. Thats not interesting.
(Chandler walks over to the counter where Phoebe is, and is asking her about the break-up.)
Laura: Is he alright out there by himself?
Rachel: (from another room) Oh my God, what a great surprise! This is such a beautiful house.
Ross: Did you see me? I was pretty good, huh? That is one fun game!
Joey: Thank you all for coming. We're here today to pay respects to a wonderful agent and a beautiful woman... (Joey looks at the photograph) ..inside. As Estelle's only two clients we would like to say a few words. (Joey looks for his notes. The man next to him is chewing something.) Dude, where's my speech? (the man swallows something and looks at Joey.) That is entertaining. Al Zebooker everybody. (he applauds and Al shows that there's nothing left in his mouth.)
RACH: Oh, oh, this is good, this is really good.
RACH: Well what is it? Let me see.
RACH: What's that? What? I saw my name. What is it?
ROSS: He won't? [remembers what it is] He won't! Because, isn't that, isn't that the, the short story you were writing?
RACH: What is this? Ross, what is this?
CHAN: Yes, yes it is, short story, that I was writing.
Ross: Ok. Well, before I say anything, I just need to know, is this one of those things where you break up with a guy, and then I tell you what I think, and then the next day you get back together with the guy, and I look like a complete idiot?
Chandler: Okay, okay-okay, ah, Chloe works with that guy Issac. Issacs sister is Jasmine. And Jasmine works at that message place with Phoebe. And Phoebes friends with Rachel. And thats the trail, I did it!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Its closer to dinner. Monica has just told everyone that Tim is coming to dinner.]
[Scene: Mr. Ratstatter's office. Monica is there.]
[Ross is at his apartment.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's Balcony, Rachel is having drinks with her date, Carl.]
[Scene: Mr. Ratstatter's office. Monica is there.]
MNCA: [to Ross] Listen, I... I don't think this is the best time.
Ross: The blond woman is my ex-wife, and the woman touching her is her... close, personal friend.
Rachel: No! I mean come on! This is a huge deal! (She sits next to him on the couch.) Fine I wantI need more details, who-who initiated the first kiss?
CHANDLER: Oh, see, I had to tell her that my number was your number, because I couldn't tell her that my number was my number because she thinks that my number is Bob's number.
[Scene: Mr. Ratstatter's (RTST) office. Monica is there about a job.]
MONICA: Ross, that is gorgeous!
PHOEBE: This is my father, this is a picture of my dad.
Phoebe: Yeah, she clamed she had to go out of town suddenly. Shes avoiding me, she doesnt want to tell me where my Father is. She knows, and she wont tell me.
Mrs. Green: Its like youre a cave person. Rachel, you must get a nanny. You dont know how overwhelming this is going to be. I mean when you were a baby I had full time help, I had Mrs. Kay.
PHOEBE: [showing her pictures] OK, look, see, this is him. My mother gave me this picture before she died, same guy.
PHOEBE: OK, is this really my father?
Sarah: Oh, no! This is work. I should call in. Can you excuse me?
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Rachel is cleaning up and Monica is pleading with her.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is there for his interview and everyone but Phoebe are hiding on the couch.]
Young Ethan: All right, look. I've gotta tell you something. I'm not 17. I only said so that you'd think I was cute and vunerable. I'm actually 30, I have a wife, I have a job, I'm your Congressman. Monica, this is ridiculous, we're great together. We can talk, we make each other laugh, and the sex. Oh, man, okay i have no frame of graft, but I thought that was great.
Chandler: It is going to be perfect. I am taking her to her favorite restaurant. Im going to get her a bottle of the champagne that she really loves; therefore knows how expensive it is. Then when the glasses are full, instead of proposing a toast Im just gonna propose.
[Scene: A nice restraunt. Rachel is on her date with Michael (MICH).]
Erica: I don't want to look at your file! This is over.
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, is the one where Rachel screwed up the desert and Ross and Joey are trying to enjoy it.]
CHANDLER: And twenty-five it is.
CHANDLER: Oh, so that's what this is for.
JOEY: Sure is.
[Scene: Phoebe's massage parlour, she has Steve on the table, and is giving him an extra-painful massage.]
Joey: Why dont you ask Chandler, cause hes the one that fooled around with her. She told me you said you could really fall for her. Now is that true? Or are you just gettin over Janice by groping my sister.
Mrs. Bing: He's not a hero. ...You know who our hero is.
[Scene: In front of Macys, Phoebe has adorned her bucket with numerous signs. Like "We are not a urinal!" and "I have no Macys info." And other stuff like that. She also has a scowl on her face as she is ringing her bell. A little old lady walks up to make a donation but Phoebe stops her.]
[Scene: Outside Phoebe's dad's house. Phoebe is running back to the cab.]
ROSS: Well this, this is too much, I feel like I should get you another sweater.
Joey: Thank you. (stands up and kisses her lips.) Waiter! �lright, this is gonna be fast, so try to keep up: Risotto with the shaped truffles and the roasted rip steak with the golden Chanterelles and a Bordelaise sauce and that any that stuff I just said means snails. (Hope, *I* kept up.)
[Scene: A Department Store, Joey is selling men's cologne.]
Alice: Phoebes right Frank. I know its hard to hear, but it wouldve been wrong to go through with it. I-I-I was being selfish, even though we, we want the same things now, in the future we may not. (to Phoebe) Is that it, is that what it is?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is waiting for Rachel to return from the airport with Ross.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is working. Ross enters with Ben.]
PHOE: Fun Bobby is so great.
(Chandler walks back to couch, where Janice is.)
Bank Officer: Close your accounts? Is there some kind of problem?