words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is showing everyone a poster as Ross enters.]
Joey: I thought I did! Oh hey guess what? The premiere is next week and youre all invited! (They all gasp.)
Rachel: Well obviously I wont be able to come, for those of you who havent checked their calendars today is my due date. Well yknow, I just want to take a moment and thank you guys for how great youve been during this time. I really couldnt have done it without you. And I have loved these last nine months! And even though I am so looking forward to the next part, I am really gonna miss being pregnant.
[Scene: Central Perk, time lapse, and Rachel is entering still pregnant.]
Monica: Wait a minute, just because he paid for your head shots youre gonna take him? Joey, I dont think youre comprehending just how slutty this dress is!
Rachel: (calling from the bathroom) All right, whos turn is it to help me get up!
Chandler: This is so exciting! Its so glamorous! People taking our picture. How do I look?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel is entering, still pregnant.]
Phoebe: Oh hey Mon? Rach is here! Ohh, youre still pregnant. Oh, Im sorry. I know how uncomfortable you are. Yknow what? You look great. Yeah, like fifty bucks.
Rachel: Oh, I have to go pee. Apparently this baby thinks that my bladder is a squeeze toy. (Goes to the bathroom.)
Ross: (entering) Hey is Rachel here? We have a doctors appointment.
Rachel: Ross, it is 100 degrees outside. For the first time in weeks, I am somewhat comfortable.
[Scene: Inside Joeys Premiere, he is intently watching the movie.]
Joey: (To Chandler) Okay, this is it. Its my big fight scene coming up. (He looks over and Chandler and notices that hes asleep.)
[Scene: Dr. Longs Office, Ross and Rachel are waiting for the doctor. Ross is drumming his fingers on the bed.]
[Scene: Joeys Premiere, the movie is ending and it takes the applause to wake up Chandler.]
Chandler: Dont go! Im sorry. Im so sorry! (Sees another guy who is still asleep.) Look! This guy fell asleep! He fell asleep too! Be mad at him! (Looks at him more closely.) Or, call an ambulance.
Rachel: Well, there is one thing that we havent tried, but someone thinks that, (mimicking Ross) "That will open up a can of worms."
Monica: Well what is it? What is it? If its gonna help bring the baby here, like today. I mean, I think you should do it.
Monica: All right, lets be practical, if Ross isnt willing to do it, hes not the only guy in the world you can have sex with. You can borrow ChandlerChandler is good!
Ross: Monica, what is the matter with you?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is there as Joey enters.]
Ross: This is insane, Im not gonna make love to you just so that youll go into labor.
Ross: Okay enough! This is, this is not going to happen.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is paying Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Is Rachel having the baby?
Monica: You know everything!! Oh wait, double or nothing. I bet you the baby is over seven pounds. (Phoebe isnt interested.) I bet you it has hair. (Shes still not interested.) I bet you its a girl.
Ross: (to Joey) Where there is no fear of commitment.
MONICA: Who da wenny-Benny boy? You the Wenny-wenny-Benny-Benny boy, yes. Don't cry. Don't cry. Why is he still crying?
JO LYNN: This kitty is Mittens and this one is Fitzhugh, and this little guy in the cat condo is Jinkies.
Monica: (Takes it) That's Mindy? Wow, she is pretty. (Sees Rachel's look) Lucky. To have had a friend like you.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is approaching a customer.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is about ready to leave for Atlantic City.]
Ross: Rach! Wait! The men's room is that way. (Points in the other direction. Rachel hits him with her purse and heads for the ladies room.)
Monica: That is never good.
Rachel: This is a very critical time right now. If you feel yourself reaching for that phone, then you go shoe shopping, you get your butt in a bubble bath. You want her back you have to start acting aloof.
Chandler: Okay, but this is the last time. (singing) With a chick-chick here, and a chick-chick there. Here a chick, there a chick, everywhere a chick-chick-(Joey enters)-chickeeeen.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Ross is acting nervous]
Janice: Who's party is it?
Janice: Where is this party?
Rachel: OK, alright, OK, um... then could you please, uh... just give him a message for me? Please? This is very important.
Rachel: Yeah, it is.
Rachel: Oh, good, good! We had this idea to make a birthday video for Emma and we'll give it to her when she is 18.
Julie: Well, little Jamie here is our third. So, if you have questions or you need anything at all, just holler.
Joey: (glances at Richard) No. Nope, I uh I thI thought it might be kind of a cool character thing. Yknow? Hes uh, hes a face toucher. (Behind his back, Richard is nodding no.)
Phoebe: Oh God, this is turning into the worst wedding day ever! The bride is pregnant. The groom is missing. And Im still holding this. (She throws the test back into the trash.)
[everyone is quiet, unsure if she's done or not]
Phoebe: Oh well, as long as it is under control, you know, you can't do anything about it, he's already dating her, and she is a nice person, that wouldn't be right.
Rachel: Oh how can you possibly know? Look at this mess, Tag! I mean, this is what Im talking about! You have to be organized! Youve got newspapers! Youve got magazines! You gotOhh! (Finds a picture.) And who is this chippy? A little young for you Tag, but whatever.
[Scene: later the bridesmaids and ushers are getting ready to start, Ross is looking for Rachel]
Phoebe: This is everybody. This is Ross.
Phoebe: This is Monica.
Phoebe: And this is Rachel.
[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Joey is entering]
Phoebe: So is it like art?
(Chandler enters and they both jump up and pretend that Ross is showing her something in the couch.)
[Scene: Phoebes, Frank is melting a plastic spoon.]
Monica: Really, is he a swimmer?
Monica: No, that is what the game is.
Joey: Nah, just me. All alone. (all the food is served) Dinner for six for one, uh, you boys are about to see something really special.
Frank: I dont know, I mean, y'know, this is the city y'know, I just, I mean, I dont know.
Phoebe: Okay. All right, this is my favourite part of the weekend, right now, this.
Joey: Oh, have either one of you guys ever been to the Rainbow Room? Is it real expensive?
MONICA: This is so wild. Ya know, I gotta admit, I was kinda surprised that you agreed to go on a blind date.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is serving some guy coffee.]
Rachel: Everybody? Shh, shhh. Uhhh... Central Perk is proud to present the music of Miss Phoebe Buffay.
Isabella: Yeah, for you. Is that the list?
[Scene: Chandler's Office, Chandler is working as Nina knocks, then opens the door.]
Phoebe: Cute naked guy is really starting to put on weight.
Phoebe: Oh, that is so unfortunate.
Monica: See, now this is why I keep notepads everywhere.
JOEY: [peeks back out] Ok, now that your coat is safely in the bedr-, [sees that the coast is clear] oh, ok we can come back out in the living room.
(As the camera passes by, they start to dance really rigid, but the camera is facing the other way.)
Phoebe: Alright, here's my $7.50. (Hands them the money) But I think you should know that this money is cursed.
Rachel: Then how come it is?
[Scene: the hallway, Monica is coming up the stairs.]
Monica: Is it the Italian guy?
Phoebe: No, no, Mr. Heckles no one is making any noise up here.
(in the hallway, Eric is moving in)
Dr. Rosen: This is a great place. How long have you lived here?
[Scene: the hallway, Joey is moving in, Monica is leaving.]
Joey: Like you wouldnt believe. (they go into the apartment) Wow! This is a great place.
Phoebe: No youre not, youre wondering which cushion it is.
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler is returning from Monica and Rachel's with his bedding. Eddie is standing at the bar with his dehydrator and loads of fruit.]
Chandler: (to Joey) Is that your new walk?
Ross: My marriage, I think my marriage is um, is kinda over.
Monica: I know, it is isnt it?
Chandler: Umm, this is nice.
[Scene: the bar, Phoebe is still hugging Ross.]
Ross: Yeah, he-hes right, hes right. This is your time y'know, yeah, youre young, youre-youre weird, chicks dig that.
Ross: My foot is stuck in the pocket.
[Flashback to: The Street in front of Central Perk, Ross and Joey are holding a yellow tape across the road and everyone is cheering Phoebe as she bounces around the corner on a hippity-hop.]
[Scene: the bar, Chandler is playing pool, as Rachel enters.]
(Joey is singing in his head.)
Rachel: Um, ok, uh, oh god, um, when you and uh Ross first started going out, it was really hard for me, um, for many reasons, which I'm not gonna bore you with now, but um, I just, I see how happy he is, you know, and how good you guys are together, and um, Monica's always saying how nice you are, and god I hate it when she's right.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Sandy is knitting baby clothes. Ross and Rachel walk into the living room.]
[Scene: Monica and Phoebes, Monica is vacuuming.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is on the phone, everyone else is there except Joey.]
MR. TREEGER: Ahh, is it hot? My body always stays cool, probably 'cause I have so much skin. Hey, cheese!
The Director: (entering carrying a newspaper) Here we go people! (starts reading the review) Boxing Day! The Lucille Lortel Theatre, blah-la-la-la Ah-ha! Joey Tribianni, gives an uneven performance, but Mr. Tribianni is not the worst thing in this production.
(There is a knock on the door.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, everyone is there, helping to lift the entertainment center into place]
Phoebe: Well, I mean look it's, it's not your fault, you know. I mean this is just what, what she does to guys, okay.
Phoebe: Is that a problem?
Rachel: Yeah, actually Daddy Ross is allergic to lobster.
Joey: What? No, no, no! No, no... no... no, no... No, too much is changing, okay? First, Phoebe getting married (to Phoebe) Congratulations! (pointing to Monica and Chandler)... and then these two move into a stupid house in the stupid suburbs...
Rachel: Yeah it is, it is. (to Ross) We really, really have to do something about that.
Ross: It's laundry. The thinking through is minimal.
Monica: This is not the bed I ordered!
Monica: Why is this car in my bedroom?
Ross: Hey, I think Elizabeth is a little more serious than, "Spring break!" (Imitates the party noise.) All right? I mean shes taken my class!
Ross: oh yea now um how is that going, is it getting serious?
Ross: Okay. (to Rachel) Wow! This is going so well. Did you see us? Did you see?
[Scene: Mattress King, Monica is trying to return her bed.]
ROSS: No, look, hey, it's my birthday, and the important thing is that we all be together.
Ross: Cause Carols a lesbian. (Phoebe is shocked) And, and Im not one. And apparently its not a mix and match situation.
[Scene: Monicas bedroom, Chandler is playing with the bed.]
Ross: I was barefoot. Now tell me, the toilet thing is the only thing you taught him right?
Ross: Hmm, a lot of this stuff is from Colonial times. Hey, what are some other time periods Rachel? (She glares at him.)
CHANDLER: Monica, will you stop? This is nuts. Do you know how long it's gonna be before you actually have to deal with this problem? I mean, you don't even have a boyfriend yet. Joey, she does not look fat.
Phoebe: That is unfair. I'll call her and tell her it was totally my fault.
Joey: (entering with Monica) Hey, is, is, is Chandler here?
[Scene: The fancy restaurant, Angela has her hand in Bob's shirt, and Monica is very uncomfortable.]
Phoebe: (standing up) Okay, so umm, somebody has to call Frank and Alice. (As she is talking Joey is sticking the camera under her skirt.) And then my mom wants to know-(notices Joey)-Joey, what are you doing?!
WAITER: Oh my God! Someone, he's choking. Is anyone here a doctor?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is still very sick and is entering the living room from the bathroom wearing a robe. Chandler is reading a magazine.]
Joey: Oh God. Uh, okay, heres the thing, this is the thing, okay, the thing is...