words in movies
Charlie: Wow! This place is beautiful!
Ross: Wow! This is very flattering, uh...
Ross: Yeah, oh and Sarah... I'd like to introduce you to my colleague, uh, Professor Wheeler, a-and this is Joey Tribbiani.
David: Mike is your ex... uh... boyfriend!
Chandler: David, let me stop you there 'cause I think I see where this is going. I'm not very good at giving advice. So if you want advice, go to Ross, Monica, or... Joey, if the thing you wanna advice about is pizza toppings or burning sensation when you pee.
Chandler: Oh, because his penis was too big. (he notices that David is not amused) Oh, I'm sorry, that's the kind of thing I do. (pause) They broke up because Mike didn't want to get married. Hey, what if you just let Phoebe know you'd be open to marriage?
(Someone knocks the door, Joey goes to open it and Ross is on the other side)
Monica: Ok, I'm sensing that this is some kind of word play, because you are pink with barely controlled glee.
Chandler: David is going to propose to Phoebe.
Monica: They've only been going out for a few weeks and Phoebe is completely hung up on Mike! She'll say "No", David's heart will be broken, it will be too hard for them to recover from and then Phoebe will end up alone again.
Joey: Everything is upside down here! It rains all day long, nobody watches tv and Ross is famous!
Rachel: Alright, I don't wanna alarm anybody, but Monica's hair is twice as big as it was when we landed!
Rachel: Ooh! You guys are so lucky you are here with people, you known it's such a romantic place. That's all, I just wish I could (looks at Joey who is at the check in desk) share that with a guy.
Chandler: Tonight?! (looks at the ring) Isn't an engagement ring supposed to have a diamond? (squints at the ring to emphasize how tiny the diamond is) Oh, there it is!
David: Yeah, well, being a failed scientist doesn't pay quite as well as you might think. That's uhm... one seventieth of a karat. And the clarity is uhm... is quite poor.
Chandler: David is going to propose to Phoebe tonight!
MOnica: Ok, my husband just gave your boyfriend some very bad advice. Look, David is going to propose to you tonight.
Phoebe: Oh, ok, you want me to marry Mike? Alright, well, let's just gag him and handcuff him and force him down the aisle. I can just see it: "Mike, do you take Phoebe..." (gestures with her hand as if someone is covering her mouth and tries to shout "No! No!") You know, it's every girl's dream!
Monica: Do you really think marrying someone else is the right answer?
[Scene: Ross's hotel room. Ross and is reading his keynote speech to Charlie from his laptop]
Chandler: Oh, is it on the computer, cuz I'd love to give it a read...?
Charlie: Actually the wet season is June to December.
Chandler: Well, it didn't say "This is a virus"!!
Ross: What... what am I gonna do? My speech is gone, Chandler!
Ross: I can't believe this. I can't believe this is happening. I have to give the keynote speech tomorrow! Ok? I have to stand up in front of all these people. What am I gonna say?
Ross: I don't think that your monologue from Star Wars is gonna help me right now, Joe!
Ross: Alright, ok, let's do it. (Ross sits down at the desk and they all gather around him) Uhm, I know we start by discussing the shortcomings of carbon dating... uhm, and then, then I move on to what is clearly the defining moment of the Mesozoic era, the breakup of Pangea, hello! (Rachel and Joey look confused) And then, there's the... eh... there's the overview of the Triassic.
Monica: Ok, Mike, enough is enough, now you love Phoebe and she loves you, so you need to get over your whole "I never want to get married" thing and step up!
Mike: Who is this?
Monica: This is Monica! I'm Phoebe's friend. Listen, Phoebe is back with David and he's going to propose to her, and she is going to say "yes" but I know she really wants to be with you!
Monica: Phoebe is going to say "Yes" to David. See, that's what happens when you meddle in people's lives!
Chandler: Phoebe is going to say "yes"? That's, that's great!
Joey: Kate Miller it is. (he picks up the Kate Miller badge and sticks it on Rachel's breast)
[Scene: Ross's room. Charlie is sitting on the bed, while Ross is walking up and down nervously]
Ross: Yes, but I did make a pyramid out of the bath products. This is amazing, thank you, thank you so much. (he leans in, and they look at each other for a moment) That's a pretty necklace.
Charlie: Oh, this is such a cute picture of Emma. And is this your son... or just some kid whose picture you bring on vacation?
Charlie: Oh my God, this is so cool!
Joey: There it is, you're blushing!
Joey: You like someone. Tell me who it is. Who is it? (tickles her a little)
Joey: Tell me who it is.
Rachel: Oh! (pause) Ok. Ok, you really wanna know who it is?
Joey: (eagerly) Yeah, who is that?
Mike: Is it ok if I hug you now?
Monica: The sun is out!
Chandler: Ladies? Ross's speech is in 45 minutes.
[Scene: Conference room. Ross is making his keynote speech]
Ross: And that's just the herbivores. I'm not even gonna discuss the carnivores, their heads are already too big. Which is ironic considering their stunted cerebral development.
Ross: But all kidding aside, in much the same way that Homo ergaster [1] is now thought to be a separate species from Homo erectus...
(Ross is dumbfounded to see Mike instead of David)
(Joey is sitting in an armchair and wearing a diving mask. He pulls out a grape from a bunch of fake grapes on the coffee table, puts it on the snorkel's breathing tube and blows it out, then giggles to himself)
Charlie: ... is it weird that it's not with each other?
[Scene: the hotel game room. There is a ping pong table in the middle of the room. Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Mike walk in]
Chandler: She gets crazy! This scar (points to his forehead) is from Pictionary!
[Scene: Rachel's hotel room. She is watching the Weather Channel on TV.]
Rachel: (worried) What, is everything ok?
Joey: Oh, c'mon, I mean, there's you, then there's Charlie, and it's like... (sighs) What the hell is my problem? OH! (He falls back on the bed)
Joey: (sitting up again) I'm telling you, Rach, Charlie is not right for me!
(Joey walks out, while Rachel is pensive. Once he's out of her room, he suddenly realizes who she was talking about and goes back in. He looks at her in disbelief and she looks like she was caught red-handed)
[Scene: Rachel's hotel room. Joey is standing at the door, facing Rachel]
Rachel: Yeah, he did! (smiling) Oh, see, this is what I'm talking about!
(Chandler turns to look at Monica, who has the biggest hair ever, is flushed and in a sweat, and is decidedly sniffing her armpits)
Chandler: I think this is the first time in our marriage that I've felt like the more attractive one.
Mr. Oberblau: (seeing her) Oh, you're back... (to Ross) this is my wife, Nancy.
Charlie: Joey is a great guy, but we're just... so different! I mean, during your speech he kept laughing at homo erectus!
Chandler: (exhausted) Ok, look! Enough is enough!
Chandler: Monica, that was also true an hour ago! I mean, please, look at you! Your hand is blistered, you can barely stand, your hair is inexplicable! Ok, you've already proven you are just as good as he is, now we've missed our dinner reservations, so now let's just go upstairs, order room service, take a shower and shave your head!
Monica: Look! You knew this about me when you married me! You agreed to take me in sickness and in health. Well, this is my sickness!
Monica: This is so great! Now we can enter into doubles tournaments!
[Scene: Hotel's bar. Ross is running to Charlie trying not to be seen with two cocktails in his hands. She's hidden behind a huge plant]
[Scene: Central Perk, Leslie is singing.]
Joey: Hey. I just saw a woman breast feeding both of her twins at the same time; it is like a freak show up here. (Notices shes wiping her eyes.) Whats the matter?
Ross: And is a hum, kinda like a scruddle?
Monica: Yeah! Okay, this one is a mushroom cap. (Points to it.) Umm, this one is made of bologna. (Points.)
[Scene: The lecture, Ross is passed out against Rachels shoulder.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is reading the newspaper.]
(As shes saying that Joey is to pull out a chair and sit down, only Matthew comes running in from off camera and dives for the same chair.)
Rachel: What? Uhh, Phoebe, honey, honey, I know you're quirky and I get a big kick out of it, we all do actually, but if you destroy a coat like this that is like a crime against nature! Not nature, fashion!
[Scene: The Waiting Room, Monica is on the phone with her mother, Chandler is standing behind her.]
Rachel: Oh, that is so...
RACHEL: Oh my gosh, wow. Monica. Oh my god. Mom. This is so great.
(She sets down her bag and we travel back to slow motion world. She once again whips her hair around in slow motion with the love doctor Barry White singing in the background. And Id also like to take this opportunity to mention that she can also be seen in Starship Troopers and that she was born in Downers Grove, Illinois which just happens to be a few miles from where I live. Anyway Cousin Ross is now staring.)
Rachel: (Brings Marcel a teddy bear) Marcel, this is for you. It's, uh, just, y'know, something to, um, do on the plane.
Phoebe: That's true. (Pause) Well, is anything you told me about yourself true?
MONICA: Oh, gosh, this is so weird. I mean, his whole life was in this apartment, and now it's gone. You know, I think it would be nice if we just took a few moments, for Mr. Heckles. I mean, he was kind of a pain, he was, but, he was a person. You're all going to hell.
Ross: Is everything okay?
Phoebe: What is this?
Ross: Thats right good things, that-that is what I said. (glances at Monica)
Phoebe: (pointing to the globe) See there it is right there.
Chandler: What time is it now?
Chandler: This teramisu is, is excellent. Did you make it Mary-Angela?
Phoebe: Stating the obvious, but thank you. And its not weird is it.
Phoebe: Okay, this is what Im talking about, this. I-I need to live in a land where people can spill.
Rachel: Um-hmm. (Joshua turns to look in the mirror and leaves Rachel staring at his ass.) There we go. There it is.
Chandler: (running around the apartment pointing out things) Bedroom. Bathroom. Living room. This right here is the kitchen, and thanks for coming by, (opens door) Bye-bye.
(They slowly and hesitantly move their lips together and kiss gently. Phoebe has her eyes wide open in shock and Chandler is squinting. He finally breaks the kiss after only a short while and pushes Phoebe away.)
Rachel: No. (Ross is standing in the doorway.) A break from us.
[Scene: Chandler's Office, Chandler is on a coffee break as Lowell enters.]
ROSS: But wait, there's more. Hey, Chandler, what is in the envelope?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is showing Monica where Sergeis country is.]
CHANDLER: God that is good TV.
Mark: What? Is it my breath?
Julio: The Empty Vase is not about you. My baby, you make me so sad that you would think this.
Frank: Wait a minute, wait, this is because of you?
Phoebe: A stripper at a bachelor party, that is so clich�. Why don't you get a magician?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Mark is there, opening Chinese food boxes.]
Ross: This is my son having lunch, ok? It's gonna happen a lot, so you'd better get used to it. Now if you have any problem with it, if you're uncomfortable, just ask questions. Carol's fine with it, now come on.
[Scene: The Hallway Between The Apartments, Ross and Rachel are coming back from the hospital. Ross is helping her up the stairs.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is watching Joey read Little Women, Ross is also there.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is next to the bay window again, Mark has left.]
[Scene: The Philly, Ross is dancing with Chloe.]
Ross: Is this about Mark?
(Carol, Ross's ex-wife, has entered behind them and is standing outstide the exhibit.)
Ross: Is that Mark?
Margha: It is okay, if I stay and watch?
Joey: (interrupting) Whoa-whoa! No-no-no-no-no, nothing is going up! Okay? Up, up is not an optionwhat's a urethra? (Monica whispers what it is in his ear.) Are you crazy?!
Monica: No, it is me! Y'know, I'm not just the person who needs to fluff the pillows and pay the bills as soon as they come in! Y'know, when I'm with her, I am so much more than that. I'm- I'm Monana!
Monica: The second that Ross walks in that door, I want you take him back to your bedroom and do whatever it is that you do that makes him go, (high pitched) rweee!!
Chandler: Oh my God this doesnt count! Okay? The interview was over, that was the real Chandler Bing in there, this is just some crazy guy out in the hall! Call security! Theres a crazy guy out in the hall!
JOEY: Hey, this is a little extra somethin' for uh, ya know, always bein' there for me. [hands Chandler a jewelry box]
Ross: Ah y'know, this building is on my paper route so I... (gives her a flower)
PHOEBE: Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Ugly Naked Guy is decorating his tree. Oh my God, you should see the size of his Christmas Balls.
Joey: All right, okay, now, we just have to make sure she doesnt find out some other way. (spins the chair around so that Ross is facing him) Did you think about the trail?
Rachel: Ok! (whispering) Joey is having a secret Days Of Our Lives party up on the roof and he sent you guys to the play to get rid of you!
[Scene: The Xerox Place, Ross is trying to break the trail.]
Chloe: Is this about me taking your watch?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering, and hes very dejected.]
[Scene: Phoebes Work, Ross is now trying to stop Jasmine from telling Phoebe.]
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Chandler are on their date with Janice and Clark, however Clark is a no show and Janice is crying the Mississippi River about it.]
Phoebe: Aw, honey its not your fault, y'know this is who you are, and I love you, and I want us to be friends, and if I keep living here I dont see that happening.
Phoebe: Now what is Fabutec?
[Scene: Central Perk, all except Phoebe are there, Ross is telling the gang, minus Rachel whos still being retrained, about the different cookie options.]
Phoebe: You guys were right. Hes just too excited about everything. I mean Im all for living life, but this is the Gellers 35th anniversary. Okay? Lets call a spade a spade this party stinks.
Joey: Thank you Phoebe, that is very, very generous.
[Scene: The lecture, Rachel is listening closely, Ross is bored out of his mind.]
Phoebe: Yeah, yknow what I noticed Rachel? He scares easy. Is that the kind of guy youd like to take to a ball? "Hey Sebastian, would you like to dance?" (Imitates him.) "Uhh, okayI gotta go!"
Monica: Is it me? Is it like I have some sort of beacon that only dogs and men with severe emotional problems can hear?
[Scene: Chandler is standing on a street corner waiting for Phoebe in the cab. Joey walks up.]
Ross: Ah, yeah, yeah. Umm, we started talking after she y'know, did her thing. And it turns out she's got a boy about Ben's age, so we're taking them to a gym-boree class. Why, is that okay?
Ross: (loudly) Why?! Are there like bears or something?! (Looks around and then sees that Elizabeth is shaking her head no and realizes what Elizabeth meant.) Ohh. Oh, protection. Yeah-no, yeah-no, that-that-that I forgot.
Rachel: Oh... (opens it)... (sees it is a pin) Oh my God. He remembered.
[Scene: Ross's bedroom, Ross is working and Rachel is reading a book in bed]
Joey: Yeah, listen, before I forget that side is still wet.
Ross: Marcel is an illegal exotic animal. I'm not allowed to have him in the city. If they find him, they'll take him away from me.
[Cut to the living room, Chandler is entering as Monica finishes wrapping her present for him on the kitchen table.]
[Scene: The rest stop, Joey is making a sign.]
Monica: Are you insane? I mean Joey, is going to kill you, hes actually going to kill you dead.
Rachel: What is he doing here?!
Monica: This is amazing. I mean, how, how did this happen?
Chandler: Oh, this is horrible, its just horrible.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is throwing darts, as Joey enters.]
Chandler: Nobody is opening anything ok? Look, I dont know about you guys, but I wanna see the look on Monicas face when I give her my present, and Im sure she wants to see the look on my face when I get mine. So please, please, can we just, can we put them back?
Phoebe: Y'know what, but there is, there is no right or wrong, here.
Joey: Well, you lied again! (Rachel comes out of her room and is observing the conversation)
Chandler: Yknow, I knew something like this was going to happen. (He starts to take off his pants, revealing that he is still wearing his sweat pants.)
JOEY: Wow, this is wild. What're you gonna get?
Dick Clark: (on TV) Hi, this is Dick Clark, live in Times Square. We're in a virtual snowstorm of confetti here in Times Square...
Rachel: God, Im not lame, okay. I can do something. I can throw, would you let me throw, come on this is my game too.
(David the scientist guy is standing at the news-stand)
Rachel: Oh honey, this is his office too. I told you we're Joanna's two assistants.
[Scene: Outside Chandlers Office, Chandler is just about to go into his office when Bob calls for him from behind.]
Rachel: Wow, this is so cool, you guys. The entire city is blacked out!
ROSS: I'm sorry. What was I supposed to do stand up and shout 'Hey, Rachel, your butt is showing!'
Monica: Y'see, this is where you'd use that 'hello' word we talked about.
MONICA: Because that's where the party is you goon. See this is just the staging area.
Ms. McKenna: Boston is down, Atlanta is down, Houston is down, I could go on and on but instead of boring you Ill go straight to my forty two point plan.
Doug: Hi. So good news, the divorce is final. I signed the papers this A.M.
Joey: Now, wh-what, what is that like?
Chandler: Oh, this is soo bad. (doesnt see Mary-Angela)
Ross: Hi, um, Im err, (has to clear his throat) Im Ross Geller, and err ah... (pats Carols bulge) ..thats, thats my boy in there, and uh, (points) this is Carol Willick, and this... is Susan Bunch. Susan is um Carols, just, com... (embarrassment finally overwhelms the poor fellow, who becomes incoherent until) ..whos next?