words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is sitting reading a book and hears the bed in Joey's room creaking, and does a 'Oh no, not again' look on his face.]
Ross: Aww, is it broken?
Joey: No, I gotta wear this thing for a couple weeks. (points to the sling he is wearing)
Joey: What is this? Fruit?
[Scene: Street, Phoebe is being followed by some guy, as they pass a flower vendor. Phoebe turns around and the guy quickly picks up some flowers and continues following her.]
Phoebe: Oooh. Oh, well this is awkward.
Phoebe: Well, I mean look it's, it's not your fault, you know. I mean this is just what, what she does to guys, okay.
Phoebe: Okay. (they start to leave, he is still following her) Okay, you don't have to walk behind me any more.
(Chandler enters and they both jump up and pretend that Ross is showing her something in the couch.)
Ross: There it is.
Ross: Whoa, whoa, whoa. You looked at her. You never look. You just answer, it's just a reflex. Do I look fat? Nooo! Is she prettier than I am? Noo! Does size matter?
Ross: Okay, for instance. Let's say, Janice is coming back from a trip and she gives you two options. Option number 1 she'll take a cab home from the airport. Option 2 is you can meet her at baggage claim. Which do you do?
Chandler: Okay, this is good, this is good. All right listen, I have one. Janice likes to cuddle, at night, which, you know I'm all for. But, uh, you know when you want to go to sleep, you want some space. So, uh, how do I tell her that without, you know, accidentally calling her fat or something.
Ross: (blows her a kiss) Okay the sleeping thing. Very tricky business, but there is something you can do.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is putting jam on his muffin, lots of jam]
Phoebe: Okay, first I'm not crazy. And second, say it don't spray it. Anyway his name is Malcom, and he wasn't following me, I mean he was, but 'cause he thought I was Ursula, ick. And, that's why, that's why he couldn't just come up and talk to me. 'Cause of the restraining order.
Monica: Joey, this is for you. (gives him a jar of jam) It's blackberry curin.
Monica: Yeah. The great thing about the jam plan was, I was taking control of my life. So I asked myself, what is the most important thing to me in the world and that's when I came up with the baby plan.
Ross: Well, aren't you forgetin' something? What, what, what is uh, what is that guy's name? Dad!
Chandler: Night-night.....Janice. (he starts thinking to him self) 'Look at all that room on her side, you good fit a giant penguin over there. That would be weird though. Okay, hug and roll time. I'm huggin', I'm huggin', your rollin', and....yes! Freedom! (his one arm is still under her) Except for this arm! I'm stuck. Stuck arm! Okay, time for the old table cloth trick, one fluid motion. Quick like a cat, quick like a cat! And 1...2...3!' (Pulls his arm out from under her and she is spun off of the bed.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Malcom is giving Phoebe all of his spy stuff]
Malcom: These are my night vision goggles. This is the book I pretend to read when I'm watching her in the park. And these are Mad Lips, they're just for fun.
Malcom: Oh, this is log I kept, recording her every movement. Do you wanna here something from it?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is eating jam straight out of the jar, and Chandler is staring at him in amazement. Joey offers him some.]
Monica: What?! Why? Why is this crazy? So this isn't the ideal way to something....
Monica: Joey, this is you!
Monica: Well, honey, it is pretty competitive. I mean I've got an actual rocket scientist here.
Phoebe: What, he's not still following her. Do you think he is still following her?
[Scene: Subway station, Phoebe is following Malcom by finding behind the pillars until she comes up to one with a wire mesh garbage can next to it. Malcom stops and starts walking the other way and passes Phoebe, who quick tries to hide behind the garbage can. But, Malcom sees her.]
Phoebe: Oh, I was just here looking for, um, my um, my part of an old sandwich. Oh, here it is! Oh. (picks one up out of the garbage can.)
Phoebe: Oh well, what do you know, there goes my identical twin sister. Just walkin' along looking like me. What, is this just like a freakish coincidence, or did you know she takes this train?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering]
Monica: Really, is he a swimmer?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is finishing off the last of the jam]
Joey: Well, we only had samboucha, so it is now.
[Scene: The hallway between the apartments, Ross is bringing Sarah to Joey and Chandlers.]
[Scene: The Moondance Diner, Pete is entering, Monica is on roller skates.]
Rachel: What is that noise?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is telling Rachel about Petes offer.]
Joey: Ah. Yeah. Well look, the thing is its the same day as my nieces christening and I really want my parents to be there in time to see me. Cause my parts just in the beginning Im not even in the rest of the showWedding!
Rachel: Oh I see, so this suit is making a point.
MONICA: I can't believe he has a new roommate. Who is this guy?
(Rachel is slowing trying to leave and let them talk.)
MONICA: Ok, which one of us do you think is gonna be the first one to get married?
[Scene: The Moondance Diner, Pete is talking to Monica about the restaurant.]
[Scene: The Moondance Diner, Monica is working, Rachel is having lunch.]
Monica: All right ah, Ross, this is the extent of my knowledge on the subject. (holds up a notepad) Call Rachel.
Rachel: Phoebe, that is juice, squeezed from a person.
Chandler: Im not even getting married! Okay, this is a question for science fiction writers!
Monica: That is sooo not true!
Joey: Why? Is it because I'm friends with Phoebe?
Ross: Oh my God, is that still...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to take some aspirin.]
Rachel: I'm not jealous. All right this is about, umm, people feeling certain things y'know about strippers. And y'know, and um, I...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's Balcony, Rachel is taking down the Christmas lights. Monica sees her, so she leans out of the small side window.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is entering, Phoebe is already there.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is teaching Leslie how to sing Smelly Cat.]
PHOEBE: You know, what I think is so great that you are totally into this person and yet for all you know she could be like 90 years old, or have two heads, or. It could be a guy.
Joey: This is so unfair! The one thing I wanted to do was throw my best friend a bachelor party, but no, I wasnt allowed to. All I got was a stupid steak dinner!
MONICA: Dad, dad this is a good thing for me. Ya know, and you even said yourself, you've never seen Richard happier.
Monica: What is it?! What about Pete?
Chandler: And Im blah? Listen, the only thing more boring than watching modern dance is having to listen to you talk about it, (Imitating her) "Oh Chandler, I just lost myself in the moment."
Monica: Oh, it is sooo perfect. Thank you so much. (runs over and hugs him)
[Scene: Petes Restaurants Kitchen, Pete is showing Monica around the kitchen.]
Rachel: What thing? What is this thing?
Monica: Okay, is this like 'I have an early class tomorrow' or 'I'm secretly married to a goat?'
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is on the phone, Chandler and Monica are sitting in the living room, and Ross is in the kitchen as Rachel enters from her bedroom.]
Joey: Two it is. Ross, how about you?
Ross: Aw, yknow Yknow, maybe were-were just approaching this all wrong. If youre Chandler and-and you wanna hide, where is the last place on Earth people would think youd go?
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Everyone is sitting around. Monica enters from bathroom.]
Rachel: Oh! Tommy, this is Ross. Ross, Tommy.
Ross: Hey. Oh, Im sorry, this is Cailin.
Ross: Oh! Well then this is awkward. So what do you uh
Julio: Ah actually, that is mine.
RICHARD: [walks out of the bathroom and runs into Mrs. Geller who is going to the bathroom] Judy, going to the bathroom, good for you.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is working as Phoebe and Ross are sitting on the couch.]
Phoebe: Yeah, I had a date with this guy, and I swear to God, he is her other half.
Chandler: (seeing Joey) There he is!
Joey: (sees Kate) Oh-oh, hey-hey, Kate! Listen I want you to meet everybody. Everybody, this is Kate.
Ross: Hi, I was wondering if it is possible to increase security in the Paleontology section? See I-I wrote a book up there and instead of reading it people are-are-are well, rolling around in front of it.
Joey: Hey you guys, this is my agent, Estelle.
FRANK: This is huge, you can buy me beer.
Phoebe: Oh, is the play over?
Rachel: Oh, really, well Ross, you know what? I am a big girl. I don't need someone telling me what is best for me.
[Scene: The Theatre, after the party. Joey is trying to comfort Kate.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Phoebe is STILL on hold.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are sitting on the couch, Rachel is on the chair.]
Phoebe: Would you relax? I know what I am doing. This is how he wears it.
Rachel: What time is it?
(Cut to the hall. Owen is wearing his scout-uniform and is looking through a box when Chandler walks up to him.)
Chandler: (entering, angry) Yo, paisan! Can I talk to you for a sec? (Pause) Your tailor is a very bad man!
Rachel: On Melanie Griffith in "Working girl". I think what you want is over here.
Frank: Its so cool man, its so, its just cause being with her is so much better than like not being with her.
Tommy: What is in the cup?!
Ross: (To Chandler) I thought you were my best friend, this is my sister! My best friend and my sister! I-I cannot believe this!
Phoebe: Who are you kidding? (To Joey) You just find some guy off the street for me? Oh God! This is humiliating!
Monica: Well, the giraffes okay. And so is the pirate.
Rachel: Yeah, I know, go long. Y'know, its like all Im doing is running back and forth from the huddle.
[Scene: The Theatre, Kate is arriving for rehearsal.]
Ross: Oh, well, when you don't have the cards, you don't have the cards, you know. (looks at Rachel) But, uh... look how happy she is. (smiles)
Chandler: I'm so sorry, but you should have a sign out there or something. Or at least whisper it to people when they come in the door. "Owen doesn't know he's adopted, and he also thinks that Santa is real."
Chandler: Great! Now, the score is 7 to almost 7.
Ross: But the good news is, no one in a two-block radius will ever know.
[cut to Chandler and Joeys apartment, Tommy is using the phone]
Monica: Oh, I so can't believe this! My uterus is an inhospitable environment? I was trying so hard to be a good hostess!
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Ross is setting up for his time with Marcel. Joey is there.]
Lauren: So this is it? Victor?
Monica: I dont understand, I mean am I so hard to live, is this why I dont have a boyfriend?
Joey: I dont know. Its-its just lately, Ive been feeling Okay, heres what it is (Pause) You know what? I feel a lot better, thanks! (Starts to leave)
Ross: No. No, y'know you dont, you dont wear enough of this. (Rachel is shocked) What?
Phoebe: Vince is a fireman.
Joey: Uh... y'know, knowledge is a tricky thing.
Joey: Well what is it?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is eating the picnic as Rachel comes home from work.]
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe is walking with her second date, Jason.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is entering.]
Ross: Well then, what is it?!
Michelle: This is your daughter? I can be your new mummy!
[Scene: Pete's apartment, Monica is there to water the plants, and is showing the gang around.]
Phoebe: Jason is not a sissy!
Chandler: Well sensitive is important, pick him.
(Ross is eavesdropping in the hallway.)
Rachel: (entering with Phoebe) This place is amazing.
Joey: I say, 'I am there!' Cool! Aw, is Ross going to?
Ross: Yeah, I have a question. When is this gonna air?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is taking a jar of olives out of the fridge.]
Monica: Ahh, Pete, the other day when you said you needed to talk, umm, just so I know, is it good news or bad news.
Chandler: So, what do you thing the good news is?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is returning from Petes.]
Monica: We have too! I mean what if Ross's hears that and then calls her back and then they get back together? Is that what you want? Ross back with that controlling, neurotic, crazy Emily? The Emily that wouldn't let him see you?
Ross: What is ah, Rach in her room?
Phoebe: Okay. (on phone) We are at a rest stop on Route 27. Okay. (to Rachel) There is no Route 27. (listens) (to Rachel) Okay, either 93 or 76?
Phoebe: What the hell is this?! What, did you actually thought it would make me feel better to give me stuff that I cant use for another two months?! This sucks! All right, whats my next present?!
Phoebe: Excuse me. Umm, is Vince here?