words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are getting ready to go on their honeymoon. Monica is entering from the bedroom.]
(Joey looks at him, Phoebe tries not to smile, and Chandler is shocked.)
Monica: This is so great! And Im gonna be your babys aunt!
Monica: Well I guess there is no harm in telling you now, Rachel and Ross are gonna have a baby.
Ross: I think I might know what this is about.
Joey: Yeah, I dont think thats what it is.
Ross: Im telling you. Im telling you. Thats what it is. No wonder she was looking at me all funny during the wedding. She didnt say anything to you?
Joey: What the hell is that?
[Scene: The Airport, Chandler and Monica are following the previous couple through a tiny hallway that proves this is a set on a sound stage and not an actual airport, and see them enter the first class lounge.]
Airline Employee: (grabbing the ticket from him) Sir, this is not a first class ticket. Im sorry.
[Scene: The Hallway Outside Rosss Apartment, Ross is walking towards his apartment and sees Rachel sitting in front of the door.]
Rachel: (touches his knee) Im pregnant. (Ross stops.) Ross? (Ross is staring off into space.) Ross? (Ross is still frozen) Okay, whenever youre ready. (Sits back and opens her magazine.) And youre the father by the waybut you got that
Rachel: Ross, there is no pressure on you. Okay? I mean you can as involved as you want. (Ross nods.)
Ross: Look, is Rachel here? I really need to talk to her.
Phoebe: That is brand new information!!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Joey is on the phone and Phoebe is watching him.]
Chandler: What else is new?
[Scene: A doctors office, Rachel is on an examining table with her legs in the stirrups.]
Rachel: Oh no Dr. Long, please come in. This is Ross, he is the father.
Dr. Long: Okay, everything looks good. Here it is on the screen. (We see Ross and Rachel looking at the screen.) Here is your uterus. And right here is your baby.
Rachel: Wow. There it is, I see it.
Joey: I dont see the baby. Where is it?
Monica: Rachel, (they go back inside) say that I'm friends with her, we spend some time together. Is that so terrible?
RACHEL: Ohh, what is in that?
ROSS: You know, you are so amazing, is there anything you, you don't know?
Ross: No, no, Carol. There's nothing wrong with it. I just, I just don't think breast milk is for adults.
Ross: Excuse me, is there a woman waiting at the bar? Someone average height, dark hair, perhaps doing a puzzle?
RACHEL: Time is money my friend?
VAN DAMME: Can't you see what's going on here, this man is dying.
RACHEL: Alright, I feel that this is totally unjustified. [Monica starts making faces behind her back] She gave me the green light, I did nothing but-. Do you think I can't see you in the TV set?
Rachel: I'm not! This is what I'm doing now. I've got this job-
Rachel: (reading a card) Okay, your band is playing at Arnolds, collect three cool points. Which means, I have five, and that means I get Joeys boxers!
Monica: (on phone) Uh, Michelle. Yeah, that was me, I-I dialed your number by mistake. (listens) Oh, you're so sweet. Yeah, we were a great couple. I know I really miss him. Well, you know how it is, it's that....
ROSS: Either that or my mouth is getting smaller.
Chandler: (pointing out a gift) OK, this one right here is from me.
[Scene: Outside Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is returning.]
[Scene: Tattoo parlor. Rachel is showing Phoebe her tattoo.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Rachel, Ross, and Phoebe are there. Phoebe is looking out the window.]
Rachel: (to Monica) I still can't believe you invited Gavin. Allright, he is the last person I want to see.
PA: This is the final boarding call for flight 67 to San Diego, boarding at gate 42A.
PHOEBE: Sure, oh, is, is Frank home.
Monica: Well you know it's just like living with a girl. Only they don't steal your makeup. Unless they're playing "This is what my sister would look like" (Looks at Chandler)
[Scene: Joey's apartment. The next script is being delivered.]
Young Ethan: Well, think about it. It's always on the news. 'A man is being held up, at gunpoint.' 'Tourists are being terrorised, at gunpoint.' And I just kept thinking: why does people continue to go there? (He checks his watch.) Oh, ah. I should go.
[Scene: Estelle Leonard Talent Agency.Joey is there.]
Phoebe: Oh no, it is forbidden! No-no, Mrs. Potter fires people for fooling around with clients. And its against my oath as a masseuse.
Emily: I uh, Ive been to his apartment and he wasnt there, and uh. I need to talk to him, so do you have any idea where he is?
Emily: I still cant believe theyre tearing it down. It really is the most lovely building youll ever see. I mean its over (She stops suddenly, when she sees that demolition has already started.) Oh my God!
Phoebe: Okay, this is where you and I part ways. (She drops the blanket into the chute.) Noisy bitch!
[Joey is staring at Monica's breasts]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. They're done and come out of their bedroom. Emma is still gone.]
Phoebe: A-ha! And... what is bluffing? Is it not another word for... lying?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica and Chandler are returning to find Ross is there waiting for them.]
CHANDLER: This isn't your first surprise party, is it sir?
MR. TREEGER: [to Rachel who is standing under mistletoe] So, uh, is this, uh, mistletoe?
JOEY: Right this is staging.
Chandler: That is funny. It was also funny when I made it up.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, one week later. Monica is seated, Rachel comes out of her bedroom.]
[Scene: Museum of Natural History. Ross enters the display where Rachel is waiting.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers new apartment, Chandler is putting something away under the sink.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is putting jam on his muffin, lots of jam]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, time lapse, Chandler is fully dressed and slowly walking out of the bedroom with a distressed look on his face.]
Phoebe: (Monica is yanking on her bra strap) Bras! We bought bras! We bought bras.
Erica: Uh-huh! I think it's time to kick you in the nuts and see which is worse!
MR. GREENE: Thank you. Is that one of my cigarettes?
MONICA: Money is so impersonal. Cookies says someone really cares. . . Alright, we're broke, but cookies do say that.
Chandler: Wow, this is serious. Ive never known you to pay money for any kind of capade.
[Scene: The hallway after the party. Rachel is sitting there.]
Carol: I cant speak for Emily, but Susan is in a loving, committed relationship.
[Scene: Monica's party. She is seeing off the last of the guests.]
Rachel: Oh, that is so sweet. I think Im falling in love with you all over again.
[Cut to a hospital room set on the Days of Our Lives stage. Two nurses are standing next to a bed with a man whose face is completely covered in bandages and reading his chart.]
(Helens buzzer is heard on the intercom, so Chandler presses his button, too.)
[Chandler is visibly upset]
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey is watching movers take all his stuff away.]
MONICA: Wow, all you need now is The Killing Fields and some guacamole and you've got yourself a part-ay.
GRANDMOTHER: Anyway, that's all I know. That, and this. [pulls apart a frame and pulls a picture out] This is the real him.
Monica: I might've said that. (Chandler laughs.) Why is that funny?
Monica: Okay? (To a different group) Over here we have pink suede, which is nice. But umm, if it gets wet then you know its gonna shrink.
Cop: (following her) Hey by the way, I'm sure Sipowicz is gonna be all right. I heard that kid from Silver Spoons is really good. (Phoebe's stunned) And where did you find my badge?
Mackenzie: This is what my mom was talking about. Whiners are wieners. (Joey glares at her angrily) Look, you want your friends to be happy, right?
[Scene: Chandler's office. Joey is there.]
[Ad break. Time lapse. Still at party at Chandler and Joey's. Rachel is talking to Chandler and Ross.]
[The next one is from Episode 712: The One Where Theyre Up All Night, Joey and Ross are deciding how to climb down the final part of the fire escape.]
PHOEBE: No. This is what I do for luck, ok.
[Scene: Hotel's bar. Ross is running to Charlie trying not to be seen with two cocktails in his hands. She's hidden behind a huge plant]
Chandler: (slides the juice across the counter which Joey catches) What do you care? You're an actor. This is your day job. This isn't supposed to mean anything to you.
Phoebe: Well, yeah, because I have to break up with someone, and Okay so Jason is sensitive, (holds up one finger) but now sos Vince (holds up one finger on her other hand) Plus, Vince has the body y'know? (holds up two more fingers on the Vince side) So Its really just about the math.
RICHARD: If it's not a right angle, it is a wrong angle.
RICHARD: No that's not true. That is not true.
Molly: There is a man behind your curtain. I have a mace in my purse.
Ross: This is perfect! She'll have to come back here with your pizza, and when she does, I'll turn on the Charm-O-Ross. Oh I'm so glad you don't eat meat.
Rachel: Your fly is open, Geller. (he checks it, and zips up)
JOEY: Hey. Mr. Douglas is looking for you.
ROSS: Doctor Burke is sexy?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is debriefing Rachel on her rejection earlier that day and telling her what she shouldve done. Ross and Phoebe are watching.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Joey is making marinara sauce and filling every container in sight. Chandler enters.]
ROSS: Is this what you had in mind?
Ross: (He notices something through the window.) No! No! Wh What are you doing?!! (Dr. Ledbetter is slowly backing away.) GET OFF MY SISTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are there; Chandler is showing everyone his new computer.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ryan is walks up to the door and knocks.]
JOEY: You see this, this is a friend.
JOEY: Then I don't know what it is. What's the problem?
Chandler: Nothing, just a little extra air in my mouth. Pffft. Pffffffft. (walks over to where Joey is seated)
(She exits, and after the door is closed, Chandler turns to Joey and )
CHANDLER: Why? Wh- wh- why is Mr. Douglas looking for me?
Joey: Okay, buddy-boy. Here it is. You hide my clothes, I'm wearing everything you own.
[Scene: The Emergency Room, Ross is still going on about his first night with Carol.]
PHOEBE: We were just wondering if Chandler's girlfriend is a girl.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Cassie is eating dinner and Ross is pacing behind her because of what shes eating.]
Joey: Okay, uh Pheebs, quick. Look! This (His video camera) is for the babies to look at someday, so is-is there anything you want to say? Y'know before it all starts?
[Ross looks up as if saying that Joey was weird. He begins flipping through the pages, only to find that they are sticky. So one page is overlapping another, making two recipes look like one.]
Rachel: All right look lady here is the deal, I came here for an annulment and I am not leaving here until I get one!
Joey: (to himself) Man, this is a long drive! Are my eyes open? No! (He opens his eyes and sees a hitchhiker.)
RACHEL: Okay, now that is the third time someone has said something like that to me today.
Rachel: Look, If I dont get to London!! He is going to marry that other girl!!!
RACHEL: Oh my God this is sooo humiliating. I think the only thing that tops that was, was, was when I was in the eight grade and I had to sing the Copa Cabana in front of the entire school. I think I got about two lines into it before I ran and freaked out. Oh my God, my entire life is flashing before my eyes.
CHANDLER: Yeah, this more than anything else, is the staging area.
Joey: Hey! Uh, this is just to give you an idea. Okay well, we can put screens here, (In front of the crib.) so that the baby has privacy, and-and-and maybe a mobile over the crib. And uhOh look! Heres a baby monitor (Holds it up), which until the baby comes we can use as walkie-talkies. Huh?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey are there, Joey is on the phone.]
CHANDLER: Alright, that's it. Look Joey, I'm sorry, I realize this is the role of a lifetime for ya, and if I could just fire Joseph, I would, but unfortunately that's not possible so I'm gonna have to let both of you go.
Joey: I thought I did! Oh hey guess what? The premiere is next week and youre all invited! (They all gasp.)