words in movies
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, everyone is there and they are finishing watching the first episode of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. Joey is of course Mac.]
Mac: (on TV) Well, if we learned one thing today C.H.E.E.S.E. is that cheerleaders and high explosives dont mix. (Cut to Joey laughing while Rachel, Chandler, and Monica arent amused.)
(They all make happy faces as they are unable to express their feelings verbally. Finally, the phone rings and the race to answer it is won by Monica.)
Rachel: Ohh no you dont! You got lighting last time, lighting is mine!
Rachel: Yeah! Guess who walks into my office is the end of my story. (To Monica and Phoebe) It was Ralph Lauren! (Monica and Phoebe gasp) Ralph Lauren walked into my office!
Rachel: Okay, well this is all very impressive Hilda, um I just have one last question for you. Uh, how did I do? Was this okay?
Rachel: Really?! (Taking his resume) Okay well then, all right, well just have a seat there. Umm, so whatswhat iswhats your name?
Rachel: Thats your whole name, okay of course it is! Okay, well lets-lets just have a look-see here. (Looking at his resume)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is sitting on the couch when some unknown guy comes in and sits in their easy chair.]
Monica: Oh, Nancy Thompson from Phoebes old massage place is getting fired.
Phoebe: Lets see. (Looking at the picture) Oh my God! Oh But no! No! You cant-you cant hire him, because thatits not professional. Umm, this is for me (The picture) yes? Thanks. (Puts it in her pocket.)
[Scene: The Days of Our Lives producers office, Joey is entering to find Terry there.]
Terry: Im sorry Joey thats thats the way it is.
Joey: Well. I guess you think youre pretty special huh? Sittin up here in your fancy small hall building. Makin stars jump through hoops for ya, huh? Well yknow what? (Throws the script away) This is one star whos hoop This is a star that the hoopthis hoopI was Dr. Drake Remoray!
Tag: I just wanted to come by and thank you for not laughing in my face yesterday. And I noticed there arent any plants in your office so I wanted to bring you your first (Notices her plant) There is a plant in your office.
Rachel: Me either. Umm, all right, first thing I need you to do is go downstairs and find a women named Hilda and tell her to go home.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is setting the table for dinner as Chandler enters.]
Ross: Eh, either way Ill pass. (Quietly to Chandler) I still cant eat those. (Monica is getting something out of the fridge and starts laughing.) Whats so funny?!
Ross: And this girl is making eyes at Chandler, okay? So after awhile he-he goes over to her and uh, after a minute or two, I see them kissing. Now, I know what youre thinking, Chandlers not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls, and youre right, Chandlers not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is giving Joey a massage as Rachel enters.]
Phoebe: HeyOoh, hows Hilda? Is she working out?
Rachel: Ohh, my new assistant is working out, yes.
Ross: Oh, is that funny?! Oh, you-you find that funny?! Well maybe Chandler should know some of your secrets too!
Chandler: (To Monica) Of course it is. (Mouths to Ross) Wowwhoa!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is still bumming about cancellation of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.]
[Scene: Rachels Outer Office, Tag is sitting at his desk as Rachel walks up. She stops and watches him pick up the phone.]
Rachel: Yeah, this is Tag. Tag, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, can I see you for a second? (Goes into office.)
Rachel: Yes, I know that. I know that. And I know that hiring him was probably not the smartest thing that Ive ever done. But Im telling you, from this moment on I swear this is strictly professional. (Theres a knock on the door.) Yes?
Kathy: Cute assistant! Whats his story? Is he
[Cut to a hospital room set on the Days of Our Lives stage. Two nurses are standing next to a bed with a man whose face is completely covered in bandages and reading his chart.]
Chandler: Quick! What time is it?! (Holds his watch in front of her face.)
Woman: So, what time is Monica supposed to get here?
Ross: This-this is crazy! I can do this! All right, uhh, I bet I can get all 50 before dinner.
Ross: Nah, I dunno... I think you reach a certain age, having a roommate is kinda pathe- (Realises) ....sorry, that's, that's 'pathet', which is Sanskrit for 'really cool way to live'.
Phoebe: I feel like my face is swelling. (To Monica) Is my face swelling?
Joey: (to the camera) Hello, Im Joey Tribbiani! Lets play Bamboozled! Erin, you get the first question! In hockey, who is known as The Great One?
Ross: Dad that wont matter to her. Look, all my stuff is safe and dry and all her is-is, is growing new stuff! See, this is exactly the kind of thing that makes her think you guys love me more than you love her.
Rachel: Yeah thats great Paul, but yknow I wanna know what(Puts her hands on his shoulders)Wow, those are really great! I just wanna know what, what is behind this-this strong, silent exterior. Yknow they say that still waters run deep and I wanna swim in yours.
Chandler: Okay, but don't you think this is a little extreme?
Rachel: Im fourth! (Joey is startled.) Look at you with your little maple syrup award!
Monica: Shrill?! The wedding is back on!
[Scene: The casting directors office, Joey is there to show off to the director, so to speak.]
The Casting Director: Joey, this is awkward part.
Sandy: It's allright! Crying is good. It lets the boo-hoos out.
Rachel: Hey! Out of all of us, who do you think is gonna get married next?
Chandler: Mr. and Mrs. Geller, you look wonderful, it is great to have you hear, let us take off your coats!
Frank: Yeah!! Little Leslie is here! We got another one! Oh my God, I can't believe I have two-two children. How scary is that? (He returns to the delivery room.)
Monica: The wedding is off, sloppy and immature!
Chandler: This is so sad. I mean, I only have like ten pins.
Chandler: Oh? Did somebody miss me? Is there a child to raise poorly?
Ross: Sure, one year is paper, but two months is lapdance! (Joey nods his agreement.)
Chandler: Well this is just sad!
Rachel: That is not a problem.
Rachel: (reading a tag) This one is uh Paul ONeil.
Chandler: 007?! This is James Bonds tux?!
Phoebe: ThatIts not the same thing! This is totally different! This is with David! Remember David, the scientist guy? Okay, hes very special to me.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is looking out the window and Joey is sitting on the couch.]
Phoebe: What is this? Whats going on?
Rachel: Yeah, why is it so hard for you to believe?!
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's, Monica is blowing out a candle as Chandler enters.]
[Scene: Ralph Lauren, Rachel is showing Chandler the selection of tuxedos.]
Chandler: Ross is Batman!
Rachel: Oh, with the mother, just... just constantly tell her how amazing her son is. Take it from me, moms love me. Ross's mom one time actually said I'm like the daughter that she never had.
Chandler: (on phone) Yes, Fran. I know what time it is, but I'm looking at the WENUS and I'm not happy!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is on the couch as Chandler disgustedly enters.]
(Ross is now preoccupied with the spider, and forgets that Rachel is still using the swing. While trying to get rid of the spider, he stands in front of Rachel, who bumps into him, throwing him on the ground again.)
PHOEBE: Just from a, from a long time ago. Is he here?
Monica: (writing on a piece of paper) Phyllis is sitting in a chair.
[Scene: N.Y.U, Ross is giving a lecture.]
Tag: And if that person is already in your life, you should do something about it right?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is still working on the seating chart as Joey enters.]
The Interviewer: (returning) So, as Joeys friends, is there anything that you guys think our readers ought to know?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is in the kitchen, Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe are sitting around the table writing one notepads while Chandler is looking over their shoulders.]
Chandler: Whose is it?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is working on the seating chart while Chandler looks on and Rachel reads.]
Chandler: Whose is it?
[Rachel exits into the hallway just as Ross is coming up the stairs.]
Chandler: Oh, come on! I dont care! Come on! Whose is it?
Rachel: What is the emergency?!
Joey: Okay. I will. Ohh! Check out what they got me to wear for the ceremony! (Runs to his apartment and returns wearing a rather silly hat.) Huh? I wear it like this when I marry you guys, and then this (He tilts it to the side of his head) is for party time.
Ross: ...everyone, this is Chandler!
Chandler: So, why is she leaving? Is it a school night and she has a lot of homework to do?
Ross: The only thing I understand is; postponing it is not an option. This is when were getting married.
Monica: Yes there is! He's black and white and shaggy and [Cut to Monicas apartment] he's sitting next to Rachel and licking Rachel's hand.
Ross: Okay, this is getting a little crazy. I mean, Im-Im sure it would be amazing but I gotta say I really-really dont think it would be a good idea. Yknow? I really, really dont.
Chandler: This is not going to work.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is entering and Mona from the wedding recognizes him.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is eating breakfast as Chandler comes out of his bedroom, ripping his coat in the process.]
Cecilia: That is a tricky one. Well, Joey I really wanna thank you. Youve, well you made a very difficult time for me a little less painful.
Joey: How is "Monica, I love your sweet ass," inappropriate?
Phoebe: Okay, so Im done my part, okay. Its your responsibility now, okay. The burden is off me, right?
Joey: All right! Man, this is unbelievable!
[Scene: Ralph Lauren, Rachel is hooking Chandler up with another tuxedo.]
Joey: But it is a big deal!! I have to tell someone!
[Scene: At a writer's desk. The writer is working on a script for Days of Our Lives.]
Mrs. Geller: Oh, Martha Ludwin's daughter is gonna call you. (Tastes a snack) Mmm! What's that curry taste?
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica, Chandler, and Ross are seated. Rachel is walking over with coffee and a piece of pie.]
Rachel: Oh yeah? Did he pull the old (She is waving her hand up and down her face. Shes thinking about the pencil mark.)
[Scene: Rachels office, she is coming in for the day carrying a picture for her new office. Mrs. Lynch is coming out of Joannas office, carrying a box.]
ROSS: The point is I... I don't need this right now, OK. It, it's too late, I'm with somebody else, I'm happy. This ship has sailed.
Ross: (To Chandler) Oh man, this is hilarious.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is making candy like mad as Ross enters.]
Joey: Yeah! Yeah sure, just long as its handled tastefully and that barn is not too cold.
Monica: (on phone) Awww, y'know what your nickname is, Mr. Big
Ross: There is no way I am letting you drive this car! So why dont you just hand over the keys?
[Scene: Ross's apartment the next morning. Ross is very hung-over on the couch as Joey enters with a cup of coffee for him.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Ross are on the couch talking. Phoebe is getting coffee.]
Ross: Oh, all right. (Joey flips the coin.) Tails! (The coin bounces off of the landing above them and falls to the ground.) Can you-can you see what it is?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is entering from the bedroom carrying two bags of luggage.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there as Joey enters.]
Phoebe: There is nothing wrong with Jake! Okay? He is all man! Im thinking even more than you.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is watching a show about the extinction of the dinosaurs.]
Phoebe: Umm, not without you, lover. (She slowly walks over to him and is showcasing her bra.) So, this is my bra.
Phoebe: And! Yknow what Jake says? That womens underwear is actually more comfortable. And he loves the way the silk feels against his skin.
[Scene: The street in front of Central Perk, Ross is walking up and sees two women that look like Phoebe and Rachel from behind.]
Ross: No, hey-hey, come on, (He grabs Ben and sits him on his lap) Ben, Santa is not mad at you, okay? Hey, you're-you're his favorite little guy!
[Scene: Jen's apartment, Ross is picking her up for their date.]
Policeman: This is a great picture.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Ross is up in arms about the Rachel/Julie situation.]
Rachel: Well, where is he? He is supposed to be here. (Pause) What if the baby needs him?
Joey: Hi I'm Joey. This is Chandler.
Monica: Yes smokie, that is what it was. I just can�t get enough.
Rachel: Oh is it?! (She answers the cute guys phone.) Uhh, hello? (On her phone) Yes hi, is Rachel there? (On the other phone) Yes she is, just one moment please. (To Phoebe, holding out both phones.) Its for me!
[The next one is from Episode 711: The One With All the Cheesecakes.]
Chandler: Hey! Wow, it is true what they say, pregnant bellies look like a drum.
Joey: Look, Chandler I dont think us getting our asses kicked is a solution. Okay? Just go and find Monica!
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there.]
Monica: Y'know what really bothers me? Isit's how-how different you act around them! I mean y'know the throwing the tennis games, the fake laugh, the "I'll see you around, Bing!" "Not if I see you first, Doug!" (Mocks the fake laugh.) I gotta tell you, I don't like Work Chandler. Okay? The guy's a suck-up.
[Scene: Filming a scene from the movie. Joey is dying on a gurney, Van Damme is looking over him.]
Joey: Is there anything we should know about the apartment?
Monica: Joey, I left my watch on the counter last night. (Goes to the counter) It was right here, where is it?