words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, the whole gang is there including Janice.]
Phoebe: Oh, that is so unfortunate.
Phoebe: Cute naked guy is really starting to put on weight.
Ross: (to Phoebe) Sure, your dresser is missing but this she notices.
[Scene: Chandlers, Chandler is interviewing a potential roommate.]
Chandler: Yes, that is cool. Because I have models here y'know......never.
[Scene: Chandlers, Chandler is interviewing Joey.]
Chandler: (running around the apartment pointing out things) Bedroom. Bathroom. Living room. This right here is the kitchen, and thanks for coming by, (opens door) Bye-bye.
[Scene: the hallway, Monica is coming up the stairs.]
(Joey is leaving and notices Monica, as Monica notices him)
[Scene: A bar, Chandler is entering.]
Monica: Is it the Italian guy?
Rachel: (sitting at a table with some of her friends) (to waitress) Oh, um, no, no, no, no excuse me, hello. Hi. My friend ordered an onion, not an olive, and uh I ordered a rum and Diet Coke, which I dont think this is.
Rachel: Thats all right. (to her friends) I mean hard is it to get a couple drinks right, huh?
Rachel: Oh, I dont know. Well maybe its just the idea of Barry for the rest of my life. I dont know I think I feel like I need to have one last fling, y'know, just to sorta get it out of my system. (Chandler is listening in very intensely)
Rachel: Yes, his name is Barry, hes a doctor, thank you very much.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebes, Ross is on the phone, as Phoebe is walking by carrying a lamp.]
Ross: No real-, honey, really its fine, just g-go with Susan. Really, I, no, I think girls night out is a great idea. Okay, okay, bye
(There is a knock on the door, Phoebe answers it, its Mr. Heckles)
Phoebe: No, no, Mr. Heckles no one is making any noise up here.
(in the hallway, Eric is moving in)
(inside Chandlers apartment, Chandler is coming in from his bedroom, sees Mr. Heckles, and screams.)
[Scene: the hallway, Joey is moving in, Monica is leaving.]
Joey: Like you wouldnt believe. (they go into the apartment) Wow! This is a great place.
Monica: This place is really my Grandmothers. (Joey starts to take off all of his clothes, while Monica gets the glasses and pours the lemonade.) I got it from her when she moved to Florida, otherwise I could never afford a place like this. So if the landlord ever asks, Im 87 year old woman, whos afraid of her VCR. So are you thirsty?
[Scene: Monica and Phoebes, Monica is vacuuming.]
Phoebe: Its not in the apartment? (Monica gives a Come on look) Oh no. I cant believe this is happening again.
Phoebe: Okay, this is what Im talking about, this. I-I need to live in a land where people can spill.
Phoebe: Aw, honey its not your fault, y'know this is who you are, and I love you, and I want us to be friends, and if I keep living here I dont see that happening.
Phoebe: No youre not, youre wondering which cushion it is.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, (now) Joey is watching Baywatch, as Chandler enters from his bedroom.]
[Scene: Monicas, Monica is coming out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a towel, as Chandler is entering.]
Monica: I dont understand, I mean am I so hard to live, is this why I dont have a boyfriend?
[Scene: the bar, Ross is entering, Phoebe is at the bar, they are the only two in the place.]
Ross: (all depressed) Hi. Where is everybody?
Phoebe: Oh, its already closed, Chris gave me the keys to lock up-what is wrong?
Ross: My marriage, I think my marriage is um, is kinda over.
Ross: Cause Carols a lesbian. (Phoebe is shocked) And, and Im not one. And apparently its not a mix and match situation.
Ross: (sets out a bunch of shot glasses and starts to poor himself a drink, many drinks) Im an idiot. I mean shoulda seen it, I mean Carol and Id be out and shed, shed see some beautiful woman, and, and shed be Ross y'know look at her, and Id think, God, my wife is cool!
Phoebe: Aw! Hey, do you think that Susan person is her lover?
Chandler: Umm, this is nice.
Monica: I know, it is isnt it?
Chandler: No, I mean it, this feels really good. Is it a hundred percent cotton?
[Scene: the bar, Phoebe is still hugging Ross.]
Ross: My foot is stuck in the pocket.
[Scene: the bar, Chandler is playing pool, as Rachel enters.]
(the first word is cream)
(The third word is ketchup)
(the second word is mayonnaise)
Ross: Oh, well, uh, this is gonna sound kinda silly, but, do you remember my roommate Chandler Bing?
[Scene: College reunion party. Ross is talking to Missy.]
Rachel: Okay please tell me that this is just one of your jokes that you do that I dont get.
Monica: (to Rachel) Hey, where is this guy, it's been over an hour!
Monica: Who is it?
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe is still investigating the smoke detector trying to figure out how to stop the beeping.]
Phoebe: How old is your phonebook?
Monica: Oh my God, this man is gonna get naked in my apartment!
Phoebe: This is how I look when I'm turned on!
Phoebe: I can't ask him! Do you have any idea how inappropriate that would be?! All I'm saying is just talk to Frank. Okay? Just, y'know, feel him out!
Ross: I guess if everybody else is...
Phoebe: A real man wouldnt just run to the hospital! (They dont stop.) No! What would, what would Krog do? (They ignore her and Phoebe is left alone.)
Phoebe: Well, I'm not going in first. I bet that vein on Monica's forehead is popping like crazy.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is coaching Chandler on how to break up with Janice.]
[Scene: ATM vestibule, Chandler and Jill are sitting below the counter with two pens dangling from their chains in front of them. Jill is showing Chandler how to swing the pen around his head.]
Monica: Now another way to organise your stuffed animals, is by size.
Rachel: This is so awesome! College guys are so cute!
Rachel: Yeah, Rachel. And this (points to Monica) is Ross' sister, Monica. We met at Thanksgiving. (looks around the room as if searching for something more interesting to do).
Phoebe: Wow, a house for dolls, that is so cool! When I was kid, I had a barrel.
Monica: Is that some kind of boat talk?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is cooking as Rachel paces nervously.]
Chandler: Alright! That is it. This is our apartment and you can not behave this way. Now if you can't act your age then you shouldn't be here at all. Now those plates may not be as nice as the pretty pink ones I picked out, but they're very important to Monica. I want you to apologize to her right now.
[Scene: Another restaurant. Rachel is studying the menu together with her date, Steve. Steve is the stoned restaurateur from 115 TOW the Stoned Guy.]
Phoebe: Oh this is so ho-o-ot!
[Scene: Central Park, Phoebe is now riding her bike with ease and stops in front of Ross. They both giggle.]
Phoebe: Uh-uh. Ok. What time is that.
Phoebe: Ok, so... 1800 minus twelve is... one thousand, seven hundred and...
Phoebe: What harpist? My friend Marjorie is playing the steel drums.
Ross: That is why!
Phoebe: (looking angry) Hey! She will shower when Tibet is free.
[Scene: Flight 1066 to Athens, Rachel is ordering a drink for Ross and herself.]
Mike: Is that why your hand is pressed against my crotch?
Phoebe: Where is Emma?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is sitting on the couch when some unknown guy comes in and sits in their easy chair.]
[Scene: Class of '91 reunion. Ross is walking angrily towards Chandler, who is talking to two other guys.]
Mike: Hey guys, how is it going?
Chandler: Oh, I will. But I will need a mirror... as he is me!
Phoebe: Oh, I don't wanna choose! It's (Rachel is walking by). Oh okay, wait. Rach! Listen I have a very special bridesmaid task for you today.
Mike: Is that what you say to Chandler?
Chandler: I'll admit to the cigarettes and the magazine, but that tape is not mine.
Phoebe: Wow, this is a lot!
Rachel: Oh, Ross, c'mon, please! Don't make this harder than it already is!
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Phoebe is talking at the phone, Monica is listening amused.]
Mike: (looking around the room) This is... great...
Joey: I want you to take this seriously! Phoebe is very very important to me, ok? And I wanna make sure that you are gonna take care of her.
[Scene: a NYU lecture hall, the scene is continued from earlier, only Ross has dismissed the class and is now talking to Monica and Rachel.]
Monica: Okay, the reason why I asked you guys out to brunch today is because I have been doing some thinking about who should be my maid of honor.
Chandler: Oh come on! Hello! Hi! My name is Chandler, here's my friend Ross right here, and we were wondering you know if you're up for it. We only need six more people for a human pyramid...Swoop!! Swoop!!
Phoebe: (starting to panic) Oh my God, everything is such a mess. Why is this happening to me?
(Cut to Phoebe who is in the living room, still on the phone.)
Ross: But all kidding aside, in much the same way that Homo ergaster [1] is now thought to be a separate species from Homo erectus...
(Chandler turns to look at Monica, who has the biggest hair ever, is flushed and in a sweat, and is decidedly sniffing her armpits)
Chandler: I'm not scared. (moves towards Mike and Chappy) I'll just take little Chappy and... (he backs out) HE CAN SENSE MY FEAR. MY THROAT IS EXPOSED.
(Cut to inside Central Perk where Rachel is helping Phoebe. Chandler and Monica enter.)
Phoebe: Uhuh, uhuh... Oh my God! This is really happening.
GRANDMOTHER: Is it really your fa--I can't... well of course it is.
Phoebe: Well, I'm watching it for some friends who went out of town. Wait. (She bends down, picks up the dog, and waves with one of its paws) Hello, my name is Clunkers. May I please stay with you nice people?
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's room. Chandler is packing when Ross knocks on the door and enters...]
[Scene: San Diego Zoo. Ross is at the Monkey cages.]
(Rachel finally manages to open the door, but the door chain is on.)
Ross: You guys know where Rachel is?
Chandler: Alright look, let's think about this, ok, do you really think that people are gonna stir up your family at this tragic time? That people are gonna post condolences on a website? This is not about people not caring that you're dead .This is about people not having a decent outlet for their grief.
Monica: I want you to meet someone really special. Phoebe, this is Erica. And this is the baby!
Monica: (sees what he is doing) Chandler, stop! It is not going to pop open!
Rachel: Ross, please, this is a hospital, ok? That actually means something here.
Ross: Right, is it painful?
Rachel: Oh man! This is so great! I actually feel like Im going on a real date! Although, I have a hint of morning sickness, and Im wearing underwear that goes up to about (She snaps the waistband on her underwear that is just slightly below her breasts) there.
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Phoebe is trying to teach Joey French.]
Joey: Then she came back with "The question is, when are you gonna grow up and realise I have a bomb?"
Charlie: Benjamin Hobart is administering that grant.
Ross: Really? Is it ethical to ask someone in a grant review, who was the voice of "Underdog"?
Rachel: Rachel Green is very happy you're in her room!
Monica: What is with you?
Chandler: That is the exact same thing.
Rachel: I overheard you guys on the phone the other day, and you said, "I'll just tell Rachel that I'm doing laundry for a couple of hours." And he said, "Laundry? Is that my new nickname?" And you said, "No! You know what your nickname is, Mr. Big."
[Scene: The Craps Table, Monica is still on her roll, only this time Chandler's with her and she has a huge crowd of people around.]
Ross: (knew this was coming) There it is... (he comes back)
Ross: You've been quiet all morning. Is everything okay?
Phoebe: Ooh, this is it! (Looks in the window.) Oh, thats him! Thats him!
Mr. Waltham: I-I was wondering, my niece you see is in from Londonwell Shropshire really but yknowwell shes about your age I say. Anyway I have tickets for the opera, Die Fledermaus, and I was wondering if youd like to keep her company this evening?
Rachel: (sarcastic) Oh, that is so hot. She walks around him to the other side)
Phoebe: Oh that's my grandma. (Joey holds the box away from him.) And thanks Joey she's having a really great time. (Joey is happy now.)
Monica: Nope, she doesn't have to, I found out who the father is.
Monica: Okay, I umm, I ran into Richard yesterday and he asked me if I wanted to go for a bite and I did. The only reason I didn't tell you is because I knew you'd get mad and I didn't want to spoil our anniversary.
Director: You really think this man is speaking French?
Ross: WhatYoure not serious. I mean shes a very nice woman, but there is no way we can take eight weeks of her. Shell drive us totally crazy.
Phoebe: Oh! Yeah, this is fun, couples night.
ROSS: Alright, alright, here's the chance. Monica give him cash, Rachel give him your earrings. Something, now, anything. MONICA: No, I will not cave. RACHEL: Yeah, I'm with Mon. ROSS: Alright, alright, you know how you say I never seize the day? Well, alright, even though he's your super, I'm seizing. [approaches Mr. Treeger] Mr. Treeger, here is 50 bucks, merry Christmas. [Gives him the cash.]
Rachel: Yeah, it is. Yeah, you know, it's tough. Single mom, career... You gotta get out there.
(Rachel mimes and mouths to mr Campbell "That is my boss", pointing to mr Zellner)
Joey: Hey Ross, this is one of my co-stars, Dirk. (To Dirk) Dirk, this is my good friend Ross. (Ross and Dirk shake hands)
Chandler: That is a bad interview.
Ross: This is the single greatest day of my professional career. Gunther, six glasses!
Ross: So I told Carl, Nobody, no matter how famous their parents are, nobody is allowed to climb on the dinosaur. But of course this went in one ear and out.....
Ross: Oh my God! Those werent albino kids, that was computer camp! Rach! (He hurries inside and Chandler is taking out the garbage.)
[Scene: Phoebe is at Central Perk. Mike enters.]
Ross: (in his head) Say something clever! (Pause.) Okay, doesnt have to be clever, it just has to be words. Say some words. (Pause) Any words will do. (Pause) Oh my God! This is the longest that anyone has not talked ever! (Pause) There is nothing you can say to make this worse!! So just say something!! (Pause.) (To her) I-I, I uh havent had sex in a very long time. (She leaves.) (In his head) Yeah, you really shouldnt have said anything.