words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are there. Joey is looking at a National Geographic and giggling.]
(Ross enters and his hair is a mess.)
[Scene: Monica's restaurant, she is getting inspected by the health department, Phoebe is watching.]
Health Inspector: Wow, Monica, if every restaurant is as clean as yours, I'd have a tough time making a living.
Larry: (entering) A 98. I deducted 2 points because you are not wearing your chef's hat, and that is a Section 5 violation.
Larry: And where is your hat?
[Scene: Central Perk, Gunther is serving Monica and Rachel.]
Monica: So-so there is no party.
Rachel: No, there's a party. There's a party. But the power, that is still up for grabs. You follow me?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is entering. As he closes the door, Joey pokes his head up from a box enclosure built using the 2 chairs.]
Joey: Come on, Chandler, Ross is our friend. He needs us right now, so why don't you be a grown up and come and watch some TV in the fort!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is opening the door.]
Monica: Great. So the ball is in his court?
Rachel: Ball? There is no ball.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's and Ross's, Ross is working on his computer and Joey is making a lot of noise.]
(Notices Ross looking at him and stops. Ross gives him his 'quiet down' maneuver. Okay, this may take a while to explain, so center this on you screen and place your hands about a foot apart with your fingers together and pointing straight up. Now take you fingers and point them at the other hand and making a 90-degree angle with each of your hands and the first knuckle counting up from the wrist. Now take your right hand, no your other right (that was for the dyslexics), and lower it a couple of inches, so that the fingers are pointing at your wrist. Now take your arms and keeping the elbows bent and your hands in front of you spread out your arms, kinda like making a bird's wing. Now hunch your shoulders over and move you hands up and down as if you are trying to tell some one to turn it down. That's Ross 'quiet down' maneuver. Well, there is an accompanying face, but I don't want to try and describe it as well.)
Chandler: Okay. (Starts to head for where the foosball table usually is.)
Joey: All right, I have one question. What is the deal with this? (Imitates Ross's 'quiet down' maneuver, but does move his hands up and down he just flaps his hands as if he's waving good-bye.)
Chandler: (gasps) All right look, y'know, this maybe tough but come on, this is Ross! I survived college with him!
Chandler: Yes, it is.
Ross: I think this is it. I don't know, maybe we should keep looking.
Joey: But hey, Ross, this place is available now!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there waiting for Larry.]
Phoebe: Oh, no-no, this place is totally healthy! Thatthis milk is mine. I bought this today, 'cause I was thirsty for milk, y'know. (She takes a swig of it, but has to turn away from him as she makes a face to show that it has gone bad.) Okay, let's go!
Joey: Hello! (Listens.) Oh yeah! (To Chandler) It's the apartment manager; Ross put us down as references. (To the apartment manager.) Ross is the greatest guy you'll ever meet! Yeah, he's very reliable.
Chandler: (grabbing the phone) Of course he has this big huge dog! That uh, barks into the night. (Listens.) Well, who doesn't love dogs? (Thinks.) Ah, he's a tap dancer! (Listens.) Yes, some would say that is a lost art. (Thinks.) He's a pimp! (Listens.) There you go! Yes, he's a pimp. He's a big, tap dancing pimp! (Pause.) Hello?
Rachel: Shoot, shoot, this is never gonna work! He's right there!
Monica: (turns his back to the stairs) Oh, it's a great party! Great food. Y'know, most parties it's all chips and salsa, chips and salsa. (As she's saying this Rachel tries to head downstairs but is blocked by people coming upstairs. She quickly retreats back up the stairs.) (Sees that she has to keep him distracted longer.) So umm, what's this? (Points to his plate.)
Rachel: Yeah, sure. (To Monica) All right, whose court is the ball in now?
Danny: (returning, with a friend) Rachel, this is my friend Tom. (To Tom) This is the girl I told you about.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross still has boxes all over the place. Joey is wearing a football helmet, and Chandler is spinning him around in one of the chairs and counting.]
Ross: Yeah. But, the good news is that Phoebe said that I could stay at her place for a while. So
Joey: Well, we got plenty of space! There-there's still some over there (Points to where the window is but sees that there isn't any space there and points towards his door.) by-by that speaker. Please, just stay!
Ross: So I'm a pimp huh? It's okay! Look, I know that sometimes I can be a pain in the ass, but you just have to talk to me. Tell me if something is bothering you. Okay? And for my part I will do everything I can to keep my annoying habits just (Does the 'quiet down' maneuver).
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's and Ross's, Chandler is entering and when he closes the door Joey pops his head out of the fort like before, but this time he's wearing a cowboy hat.]
Chandler: Well, I see you've had a very productive day. Don't you think the cowboy hat is a little much?
Mrs. Geller: Can we talk to you for just a yknow Its just a little thing. Well we think its absolutely marvelous that youre having this baby out of wedlock, some of our friends are less open-minded. Which is why weve told them all that youre married.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is watching TV.]
[Scene: The delivery room, Dr. Harad is back and checking on Phoebe.]
Ross: I can't believe this is happening.
Joey: (entering the apartment) Hey. Man, it is so hard to shop for girls.
Rachel: Dont say that I have no sentiment! (Starts to show Ross whats in the box.) This is a movie stub from our first date! This is an eggshell from the first time you made me breakfast in bed! (Holds up a bone) This is from the museum from the first time we were together. Okay, maybe I exchange gifts sometimes, but I keep the things that matter!
Chandler: Hey, look, I know what it is to be a friend, I just-I just screwed up!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are there. Phoebe is stressing out about something.]
Monica: What is that?
Chandler: Y'know what I think it is? It's the fishnet stockings. Y'know? Whenever I see a girl in fishnet stockings it reminds me of my father in fishnet stockings.
MONICA: Alright, you see these little flower blossoms? They should be facing up, not down, because, well, the head of the bed is where the sun would be. You don't love me any more do you.
Monica: What?! Why? Why is this crazy? So this isn't the ideal way to something....
Monica: Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (To Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?
Phoebe: Well, same thing we did all day, hang out at Gary's apartment. He is so amazing, we never left the bedroom. But have fun at the movie.
Chandler: Well apparently Albert has no friends. He's very excited about the bachelor party though. I think actually the only reason he's getting married is so he can see a stripper.
Monica: Wow! That guy is so rude!
Dr. Franzblau: All right, Carol, I need you to keep pushing. I need(reaches for an instrument, Rachel's hand is on it) Excuse me, could I have this?
Rachel: Really! What is with that guy? I mean you'd forgive me if I fogged you.
Ross: What can I say, you missed your chance. From now on the only person whos going to enjoy these bad boys (holds up his hands) is me. (Quickly realizes what he said and exits disgustedly.)
Monica: OK, look. That is Aunt Iris. This woman has been playing poker since she was five. You gotta listen to every word she says. (opens door) Hi!
Phoebe: Oh. Oooh! Ooh! Ooh! (She stands up and starts to dance around) Ooh! My butt cheek is waking up! Oooh! Ooh!
Carol: All you need is a woman who likes men and you'll be set.
Monica: What-what's the matter? Is there, is there something on my dress? (She turns around making sure he gets a good look.)
Phoebe: Well, I think it's great that the medical community is finally trying to help sick hamsters.
MONICA: You know what, maybe I don't need to have children. You know maybe I just think I do because that is what society, and by that I mean my mom, has always convinced me that I...(sees two little girls dancing together) I do, I have to have children, I'm sorry, I just do.
Rachel: (as Monica) Yeah it is, mostly because I get to boss people around, which I just love to do.
(She starts to play her song, but is stopped by Monica.)
Ross: Yes, yes it is! No, but it's good it'sEmily thinks we should get all new stuff. Stuff that's just ours, together. Y'know brand new.
Ross: Fine! Yknow what? It doesnt matter, because, if I remember correctly, there is a comb on the floor of the bathroom.
Ross: Y'know what? Uh, Rachel is here! (Rachel stops.)
Ross: My marriage is over.
[Scene: Phoebe Sr.s house, Phoebe is breaking in through a window.]
[Scene: The delivery room, everyone is hanging out with Phoebe. Frank, Alice, and the kids aren't there.]
Rachel: Ross, honey, is there anything we can do?
Ross: Oh yeah, shes-shes amazing. And-and shes so much fun. And! Yknow what? When Im with her, Im fun! I even signed up for helicopter classes. (Chandler is shocked.) Shes leaving in two days, I dont have to do it.
Rachel (on the phone): No, no, this is not what I ordered. Ok? I went all the way to New Jersey so that I could have the perfect cake for my daughter’s birthday and I need a bunny cake, right now!
Dave: Yeah, me too. (They reach her door.) So, I guess this is it.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is doing a crossword puzzle.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is telling everyone about her discovery.]
Chandler: I cant believe there is a naked hooker in there!
[Scene: Ross' apartment. Ross is grading papers. Charlie approaches him.]
Joey: Oh-ho! I bet the British version is gooooood!
[The next clip is from The One With The List.]
Joey: That's way uptown! That's like three trains away! (Phoebe pinches him.) Which is great! I love to ride that rail!
Ross: Yeah. Yeah. Yes, this place is beautiful. Emilys parents got married here.
(Monica is taking a drink as Ross says that, laughs, and snorts her drink.)
[The next clip is from The One With The Blackout.]
CHANDLER: Mine is the red one! Oh God. Can open, worms everywhere.
Rachel: Oh! Well, as a single woman, who is available, I think you look great!
Phoebe: I dont accept this rule. When me make plans, I expect you to show up. Okay, I cant just be a way to kill time til you meet someone better! Yknow boyfriends and girlfriends come and go, but this (Motions that their friendship) is for life!
Chandler: Its incredible, I mean one minute shes inside you and then 47 hours later here she is.
The Assistant Director: (to another actor) Richard? Were ready for you. (Richard approaches.) Joey Tribbiani? This is Richard Crosby hes playing Vincent.
Monica: No! No-no theyre not. Theyre still very angry! But yknow Chandler is also half-Swedish. You know what the Swedish people are famous for? Sitting down and being quiet.
Ross: Actually, it kinda is. My wife won't return my calls. I don't know where my wife is. (Laughs) "Hey Ross, where's the Mrs.?" Don't know!
Monica: What?! What is it?
Rachel: Come on apartment! Come on apartment! (Picks a card.) Oh! I know queen is high!
Chandler: This is not going to work.
Gary: 'Cause uh, this is today's Post (produces one from the other chair) and uh, these are the listings I found. (Points) Brooklyn Heights, two bedroom. (Points) Brooklyn Heights, one bedroom. (Points) Brooklyn Heights, (points) Brooklyn Heights, (points) Brooklyn Heights!
(They shake hands. Cut to Ross emerging from a hallway, grinning inanely. He is obviously very stoned)
Ross: (British) Come again? Whats-whats this nonsense? (Giggles.) (American.) All right, Im-Im not English. Im from Long Island. I was really nervous and the accent just uh, just came out. Im sorry. So, if we could just get back to the lecture. Umm, were there any questions? (Everyone raises their hands) About paleontology. (They all put their hands down.) All right, look I was just trying to make a good first impression. Obviously, I screwed up. But what you guys think of me is really important because Im-Im hoping to get a permanent job here. So if you just give me another chance to make a good impression
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Joey are standing and talking, Ross is tying a tie.]
Joey: You like someone. Tell me who it is. Who is it? (tickles her a little)
Phoebe: Because the more I drink, the less there is for the kids to drink.
Amy: Is this Emmett? <pointing to EMMA>
Rachel: So Pheebs, what is the book about?
Ross: Oh, guys, this is fun, isn't it? You know? Just the four of us. Just hangin'.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is there as Phoebe and Rachel return from the class.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is reacting to the story.]
Phoebe: (In a British accent) This is Phoebe Buffay. I was wondering, please, if-if its not too much trouble, please, umm, might I speak to Miss Emily Waltham, please?
Chandler: What is going on here?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebes baby shower, she is holding those leather pants, and isnt happy about it.]
Ross: Look, this is hard enough! I really need you guys right now.
Phoebe: Ooh, this is so exciting! Ooh, God, what are you going to bet?
The Doctor: This isn't your toe, this is a small, very cold piece of carrot.
RACH: She is not Rachem. What the hell's a Rachem? Is that some stupid paleontology word that I wouldn't know because I'm just a waitress.
Ross: Okay, there are no stupid fights!! This isnt about the room, this is about what the room represents! And unfortunately, this room (Points to Rachels room) could destroy you!!
Joey: What? Ace is high! Jack, queen, king, ace!
Chandler: Which I may say, right now, is out of control.
Monica: So wait, Rosss stuff is fine, but I have no memories because you wanted to keep the bottom two inches of your car away from water!!!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Chandler is sitting on one of the chairs and the duck is running around him and quacking.]
Rachel: Well, what is the truth?
Rachel: Monica, is this true?
(They all leave the apartment. Joey helps Chandler with the stroller in the hallway, while Monica and Rachel have their arms around each other. Everybody walks downstairs to Central Perk. The camera goes inside the apartment again, and it pans around. We see the keys on the counter, and the final shot is of the frame around the peephole. The screen fades to black.)
Phoebe: Yeah it is! It is! Its freshwater eel!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, the middle of the night, there is someone knocking on the door and Monica and Chandler get up to answer it.]
Bobby: Well its just me and my pal Rooster, the bands name is Numb Nuts.
Monica: What's the matter, officer? Has someone been bad? (looks over to Phoebe and she opens the door, and to their dismay, the stripper is an old, short, fat guy who looks exhausted)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is all there.]
Rachel: Hey-hey-hey thats funny! Your funny Chandler! Your a funny guy! You wanna know what else is really funny?!
[Scene: Estelle's (Joey's Agent) Office, Joey is there.]
Janice: Okay. All right. This is what we're gonna call it: 'Joey and Janice's DAY OF FUN!'
Chandler: So I have a flaw! Big deal! Like Joey's constant knuckle-cracking isn't annoying? And Ross, with his over-pronouncing every single word? And Monica, with that snort when she laughs? I mean, what the hell is that thing? ...I accept all those flaws, why can't you accept me for this?
Rachel: She was kinda stupid. You're right. All right, I'm just gonna go on the date. I'm gonna go on the date. That is the new plan.
Phoebe: So how are things going with you two? Is she becoming your (provocatively) special someone?
Kim: Oh my God. He just gave you the coldest look I have ever seen. Its like he hates you. Then it is true.
Ross: Oh mom! Okay, umm, her name is Carol. And she's really pretty. And smart. And uh, she's-she's on the lacrosse team and the golf team. Can you believe it? She plays for both teams!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is reading what Joey wrote.]
(Rachel wanders into the kitchen where Monica is making Chandler's dinner.)
Monica: Oh my God, this is great! This is so great! (to Chandler, who looks bewildered). Did you hear that?
Rachel: (touches his knee) Im pregnant. (Ross stops.) Ross? (Ross is staring off into space.) Ross? (Ross is still frozen) Okay, whenever youre ready. (Sits back and opens her magazine.) And youre the father by the waybut you got that