words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are there; Chandler is showing everyone his new computer.]
ROSS: That, that is funny. That is painfully funny. No, wait. Wait, yeah, that's just painful
PHOE: Ok, um, hi, hello, hi, ok, so, um, this is a song about a love triangle between three people that I made up. Um, it's called, um, "Two of Them Kissed Last Night".
[Ross and Rachel look at each other and then at Phoebe, realizing the song is about their situation.]
[Scene: Mr. Ratstatter's (RTST) office. Monica is there about a job.]
RTST: This is a nice resume. Nice, nice, nice. Muy impressivo.
RTST: Go ahead. Try a piece. Yeah, we think that Mockolate is even better than chocolate.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Phoebe are there. Monica is suggesting Mockolate recipes to Phoebe.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Ross is up in arms about the Rachel/Julie situation.]
ROSS: I don't know what to do. What am I gonna do? I mean, this, this is like a complete nightmare.
MNCA: Ok, this is pumpkin pie with mockolate cookie crumb crust. This is mockolate cranberry cake, and these are mockolate chip cookies. Just like the Indians served.
PHOE: Oh, oh sweet Lord! This is what evil must taste like!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is on the phone with a computer hotline.]
CHAN: I'm telling you this thing won't print. Yes, I pressed that button like 100 times. You know, for a hot line you are not so hot. What? What is that in the background? Are you watching Star Trek?
[Joey is looking at Rachel, smiling, and gesturing his head towards Ross.]
RACH: Oh, oh, this is good, this is really good.
RACH: Ok, he's goin' to get my coat. He's goin' to get my coat. Oh my god, you guys. I can't believe this. This is unbelievable. [notices Chandler's computer screen] What's that?
RACH: What's that? What? I saw my name. What is it?
RACH: Well what is it? Let me see.
ROSS: He won't? [remembers what it is] He won't! Because, isn't that, isn't that the, the short story you were writing?
CHAN: Yes, yes it is, short story, that I was writing.
RACH: What is this? Ross, what is this?
ROSS: No, that, that was, I mean, as opposed to uh, the uh, ok. Is this over yet Rach?
RACH: She is not Rachem. What the hell's a Rachem? Is that some stupid paleontology word that I wouldn't know because I'm just a waitress.
ROSS: No, Rach, come on. Rach! Rach, no, no! She's not Rachel, she is, she is not, Ra--Rachel?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is sitting on the couch, eating candy. It is raining out. Ross climbs up the fire escape and is knocking on the window.]
[Scene: Mr. Ratstatter's office. Monica is there.]
RTST: Yeah, well, anyhoo, here is your check. [hands it to her] Thank you for all the trouble you went through. Um, listen, you didn't eat a lot of it while you were cooking, did you?
RTST: Oh, some, that's fine. Some is fine. Some is not a lot. So, it doesn't burn when you pee, does it?
[Ross is at his apartment.]
RACH: [to Monica] Is that him again? Tell him I'd come to the phone, but my ankles are weighin' me down.
MNCA: [to Ross] Listen, I... I don't think this is the best time.
[Scene: Mr. Ratstatter's office. Monica is there.]
The Director: Hey Joey, were ready for ya! (Joey stumbles over) Joey, this is Alex hes going to be playing your son.
MONICA: Is your tongue swelling up?
Phoebe: Okay. Oh umm, Chandler, Monica is looking for you.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is getting Phoebe some coffee.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is trying to explain himself to Monica.]
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Okay, you have to switch with me! Monica is driving me crazy!
Ross: Well I-I-I dont care how hot it is its-its uh, its wrong.
(Camera goes to Joey. The clock is at 20 sec. The word "Legislature" appears. He looks at it blank faced and his eyes shift between Henrietta and his screen)
Fireman #1: Yeah, most of the damage is pretty mostly contained in the bedrooms.
Ross: Hey uh, this is Elizabeth.
Rachel: Oh my God Phoebe, this is impossible! We cant do this by Friday! We have to find a place. We have to invite people! We have to get food! Theres just too much to do! Its impossible! We cant do it! We cannot do it! We cannot do it!
Phoebe: Yknow, this is probably none of my business, but werent you guys supposed to not be seen in public together?
Phoebe: (interrupting) Okay, I got a good one. Okay, umm, what is she? Like 12?
Monica: (laughs sarcastically) Rachel is not going to pick your stupid guy.
Ross: Well, I kinda half to. I mean, because the thing is
Phoebe: My guy is well read.
Chandler: (not quite sure where Joeys going and is a little worried) Okay
Monica: Now, Mom, everything's going fine, really. (Listens) Yeah, Ross is great. He's uh, he's in a whole other place. (Listens) No, he's gone. (Listens) No no, you don't have to fly back, really. (Listens) What do you mean this might be your only chance? (Listens) Would you stop? I'm only 26, I'm not even thinking about babies yet.
Phoebe: Look Eric, turn around. (He does so.) Look, I like you, but it shouldnt be this hard. Yknow? This is our first date yknow? First dates are supposed to be about excitement and electricity and Ooh, he just touched my hand, did he mean to touch my hand? and yknow first kisses and (He kisses her) second kisses. (Motions for him to kiss her again which he does and they start to make out.)
Frank: Yeah, Ive been thinking ever since you said we were having triplets, the best thing for me to do is to drop out of college and get a job.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, his doorbell is ringing and hes running to answer it while doing up his pants.]
[Scene: Hospital, the guy is in a coma and Mon and Pheebs are visiting.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is coming out of the bathroom after a shower wearing only her bath robe, walks into the kitchen, and opens the fridge. As she bends over to grab a bottle of wine, her robe falls open (Damn this network primetime programming, we didn't see anything!) and she quickly closes it again. But then realizes she didn't have to do that. So she closes the fridge and stands next to the table, thinks about it for a little while and ]
Chandler: Is that what this is about? You like Caitlin?
Chandler: Dear God! This parachute is a knapsack! (throws himself over the back of the chair he was sitting in)
Phoebe: Rachel, what the hell is this?!
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Joey is eating pizza as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: (To Monica) Turns out he is kinda funny.
Chandler: Yeah, but Sebastian? What is that? A cats name?
Ross: Okay. (The girls leave.) (to Tommy) So uh, well, this-this is uh, this is awkward.
Phoebe: Earl, youre not hearing me! All Im saying is that youre not alone all right? Everybody hates the people they work with! (One of her coworkers overhears that, and she mimes that she didnt mean him.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey are there. Monica is holding a piece of paper.]
Chandler: I think I know what you mean though...the lamp is the hotel's, but the bulbs (goes to take the bulb)...oh, you already got that.
Ross: Is this?!
Rachel: Oh I know, my God, this is sothis rice is soI am so good.
JOEY: Is he gonna be ok?
Elizabeth: Is that supportive?
Rachel: Oh my God! Why is he jumping on those women!
Phoebe: Hey!! (The bucket starts smoking.) The charity's on fire! Help! (Yet another guy walks by carrying a cup, which Phoebe grabs.) Oh good! Thank you, I need that. (She throws onto the smoldering fire. Suddenly the bucket erupts in flames.) Whoa! What is that?! (She sniffs the cup.) (To the guy.) It's nine o'clock in the morning!
Monica: Eldad, this is Rachel.
Phoebe: This is Patrick. (Points to him.)
Phoebe: This is Patrick.
Monica: The dinner will be ready in twenty minutes. This is so exciting.
Phoebe: Yeah, this is the guy I was telling you about.
(While Phoebe's bear is still in the lead, it is now closely followed by Joey's robot. Chandler and Monica's dog however, sits down, barking... and does a backflip.)
[Scene: The airport, Elizabeths flight is about to leave and Ross is there to send her off.]
(Monica gets up and heads for the bathroom, Chandler turns to watch her go and is startled to see Joey sitting in Monicas seat.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is introducing Phoebe, who is playing her guitar for the crowd.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment, everyone except Ross is decorating the tree.]
Chandler: Guys, I'd listen to her. The vein is bigger than I've ever seen it. (Monica looks at Chandler)
Chandler: That is lucky.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there to watch Joey's first scene as Dr. Drake Remoray.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is still sick and is hobbling out into the living room for some help from Chandler whos on the couch reading.]
Monica: No. If you thought this mess is going to bother me, you are wrong! All right, let's go Blinky! (She ushers Rachel out the door, but before the door fully closes she sticks her head back in.) Chandler!!!! (Chandler agrees to clean up the mess.)
Phoebe: You mean in case someone is trying to steal your bamboo sleeping mat or your kettle of fish?
Monica: Mom, uh, Chandler was just saying how beautiful your sweater is.
[Scene: Chandler's bedroom, Chandler wakes up, and finds someone else's hand on his chest. He rolls over and is shocked to see Janice there.]
Chandler: No! Uh, I d'know! The point is, if you were gonna set me up with someone, I'd like to think you'd set me up with someone like him.
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, the gang is watching Joeys debut on Days.]
[Scene: N.Y.U. Paleontology department, Ross is putting up the grades on the message board.]
Interviewer: Uh-huh. Is it dirty?
Phoebe: What is your job?
[The next flashback is from The One With Rachel's Crush.]
Monica: Maybe. Joey: Wait. Your 'not a real date' tonight is with Paul the Wine Guy?
Chandler: (Picking up a pillow.) Yeah, is this your pretty pink pillow on the couch?
Chandler: Well, it is overdue.
Marc: Julies cervix is dilated a seven centimeters, thats about four fingers. The doctor let me feel it myself.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Chandler is there talking to the chick and duck.]
Chandler: Yeah okay, I was just talking to the guys. Just look at them I mean, is it okay if they come visit?
Ross: Uh-uhWow! Uh, I thought you guys were just like making jokes, I had no idea. What you know what? You guys are wrong. Uh yes, there is a chronological age difference but I never notice it. You know why? Because she is very mature. Besides, it doesnt really matter to me what you guys think. I mean, Im the one dating Elizabeth, not you!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is repacking the furniture into boxes to return it.]
Chandler: How is that worse?!
Rachel: Oh. Oh. Well there you go. Whew! (Pause) That isthats greatthat is really great-great news. (Pause) Yknow cause the whole not being ready and kinda the financial aspects, all that. Whew. Wow, this is so just the way it was supposed to be. (Starts to cry.) God.
Joey: Over the line?! You-youre-youre so far past the line, that you-you cant even see the line! The line is a dot to you!
Chandler: The reason we havent told them were together is because they hate me, okay? So will you fix this?
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is there as Jill enters to start her date with Ross.]
Rachel: Joey, God, your apartment is like a hundred degrees!
Monica: Well, the end table is wrong, The couch looks bizarre and don't even get me started on the refrigerator magnets.
Ross: Yes, yes it is. In prison!
Phoebe: Hi. Listen, Im sorry about that whole thing with Roger. It really wasnt right, and I, and I want to make it up to you, so umm, I brought you something that I think youll really enjoy. (Goes into the hallway and returns carrying the Evander Holyfield cutout.) Now, this is just a loan. Okay? Im gonna, Im gonna want him back. So (Looks at him longingly) Im gonna go now. (Exits.) (Pause) (Entering) Im sorry, I thought I could do it and I cant! (She grabs the cutout and exits for good.)
Rachel: That is the most ridiculous...
Monica: This is so typical. Y'know, we give, and we give, and we give. And then- we just get nothing back! And then one day, y'know, it's just, you wake up, and "See you around!" Let's go, Phoebe.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, Joey and Rachel are there. Rachel is writing something on a pad, and then crumples it up and throws it on the floor.]
Rachel: (deals new hand) Boy, you really can't stand to lose, can you? Your whole face is getting red... little veins popping out on your temple...
Chandler: Yknow, sometimes that fake out thing is just mean!
Rachel: And your horoscope says, "On the fifth a special someone is going to give you a gift."
The Producer: Joey Tribbiani, this is
Joey: (laughs) This is like the temporary robot, right?
MONICA: And, well, don't you have a lot of wild oats to sew? Or is that what you're doing with me? Oh my God, am I an oat?
Ross: This isyou(Ross starts laughing.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is entering numbers on a calculator as Ross reads off how much hes sold.]
Monica: Yknow, it is so strange seeing Ross here this time of day, cause usually hes got the childrens hospital.
Elizabeth: So uh, Monica is Rosss sister.
Rachel: Oh! Ross is sooo great!
Chandler: My Catholic friend is right. She's distraught. You're there for her. You pick up the pieces, and then you usher in the age of Ross! (Ross and Chandler look off into the distance. Joey, wondering what they are looking at, looks in the same direction)
Chandler: This is going in your book?
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is there alone as Paul enters.]
Ross: No, no, it's okay. Really. They're plenty of people who just see their sisters at Thanksgiving and just see their college roommates at reunions and just see Joey at Burger King. So is, is that better?
Rachel: Paul. Umm, I just wanted you to know that Ross really is a great guy.
Chandler: Oh, is this about you-you dating the nurse? Yeah, Joey already told me, and I am so-so fine. I mean, you and I we're just, y'know, we're nothing, we're goofin' around.