words in movies
[Scene: Central Park, Ross is teaching Ben how to ride a bike. Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are they also.]
Phoebe: His first big kids bike, this is so exciting!
Ross: That is so unfair!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is cooking, Joey is eating, and Chandler is entering from the bedroom.]
Monica: See? This is exactly why Im making this candy. We can learn their names and get to know our neighbors.
Rachel: Hi. Tag, I have a conference call today is that correct?
Rachel: Well, youve been here for two months now and your boss is required to hand in a performance evaluation. But yknow, there is one thing that I have yet to evaluate. (She turns around and sweeps the stuff off of her desk and hops up onto it.)
[Scene: The Hallway, Monica and Chandler are returning and Monica finds her basket is empty.]
Monica: The basket is totally empty! My God, the neighbors ate all the candy!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, the middle of the night, there is someone knocking on the door and Monica and Chandler get up to answer it.]
Monica: (turning a light on) Who is that?!
Chandler: Dont worry, Im brave! I am brave! I I am brave! (They get to the door and Monica goes to open it.) No-no-no-no!! (He stops her.) (Through the door.) Can you tell me who is there please?
The Knocker: My name is Gary, I live upstairs.
Monica: Hi. Do you know what time it is?
[Scene: Rachels Office, shes slinking out to where Tag works and checks to make sure no one is coming.]
Monica: Ross! That is so sweet of you to get Phoebe that bike! When I heard the story, I almost cried.
Phoebe: Okay. (The gang is giggles then Phoebe gets the bike out of the rack, gets on, pushes off, rolls a few feet, and falls over.) See?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is making candy while Chandler and Rachel are taste testing and Joey is on the couch doodling.]
Monica: See, this is why I told you never get involved with your assistant! And here is no such thing as keeping secrets when it comes to affairs. (To Chandler) Did you hear that Chandler? No such thing!
Chandler: What is the matter with you?
(There is a knock on the door and Monica answers it. There is a woman standing there.)
The Woman: I told em your candy is absolutely indescribable!
Chandler: Is that why you became a chef? So that people would like you?
[Scene: Central Park, Ross is teaching Phoebe how to ride her bike.]
Phoebe: (hopping off the bike) Wait! This seat is really uncomfortable! Yeah, maybe before we start we should just get another one. Perhaps, like an airplane seator a beanbag chair!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is making candy like mad as Ross enters.]
[Cut to Phoebes room, Phoebe has put her helmet on one of her teddy bears and is playing around with it. Ross knocks and pokes his head in the door.]
Phoebe: Well, I would love to but the bike got stolen and the police have no suspects. (Ross just happens to have his hand on a sheet that is covering something that suspiciously looks like a bike.)
Ross: Because! Because, it-it-its Itd be like you having this guitar (Points to hers) and-and never playing it. Okay, this guitar wants to be played! And-and this bike wants to be ridden and-and if you dont ride it you-youre-youre killing its spirit! (Pause) The bike is dying.
Rachel: Yeah, well Bettys kinda sad. Which is why I believe I can lure her away with these chocolates. (Holding up the box of chocolates.) Now, while I distract her, you get in the office.
Mr. Zelner: Umm, no. Thanks, but Ill give these to Betty. (Rachel glances at Tag to say, "See?") So I read your evaluation of Tag, or to use his full name, Tag Sweetcheeks Jones. Is something going on with you two?
Mr. Zelner: Its kind of a risky joke Tag, and what is-what is this drawing I cant figure out what this is?
Rachel: (looking at his butt) There it is. (They hug.)
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler is returning from work to see the hallway jammed full of people waiting outside their door.]
Chandler: (asking a man leaning against the wall) What is going on?
Monica: (opening the door and frantically) Okay, guys! The candy is coming; I just need another 15 minutes for the chocolate to cool!
Chandler: All right everybody! Just be quiet! Be quiet! Be quiet!! Pipe-pipe-pipe down! (They settle down) What is the matter with you people?! This woman was trying to do a nice thing for you. She was making candy so she could try to get to know all of you, and Ill bet that not one of you can tell me her name! Am I right?
[Scene: Central Park, Phoebe is now riding her bike with ease and stops in front of Ross. They both giggle.]
Mr Zelner: Yeah, his name is Ross. (Ross looks very surprised) What?
Mr Zelner: She is good!
Mr Zelner: But I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do... Ah, it's not true, there is... nothing I want to do.
Ross: (realizing) That is Mark?
Rachel: Ohh! Lucky me! Oh my God! That is good news, Ross! I think that's the best news I've heard since Le Poo died!
Monica: Oh, you know, my flock is good, I mean, yeah, my flock pretty much takes care of themselves at this point. Good flock. Flock, flock, flock.
Joey: That’s it? You know, it seems all you do lately is drop the ball.
Monica: Ours is so much better! This living room is smaller, the dining room looks like a cave! What a hole!
Rachel: No-no! Dont dance for me! Please? Dont! (She gets up to yell at her friends.) What is the matter with you guys?
Monica: Is all this about you not being able to grow a moustache?
Lady: Oh, the woman upstairs is very nice. She and her husband have two kids, he's on Wall Street and she…
Phoebe: Because patience is the road to understanding (she thinks) which ... is the key... to a happy heart.
Ross: Correct. Her actual favorite movie is...
r Zelner: Who is it?
Receptionist: Here's your schedule for the day. Your first client is in room No. 1.
Mr Zelner: This is gonna make me very popular.
OPENING TITLES [Scene: Monica and Rachels apartment. The whole gang is there.]
[Scene: The house next door to Chandler and Monica's new house. Chandler is pacing worriedly through the living room when Janice enters.]
(He takes her into one of those typical interrogation rooms you see on TV and in the movies. Which is really appropriate here, since this is a TV show. What are the odds of that?)
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Ross is working on his laptop when Rachel enters with Emma.]
[Scene: Mr. Zellner's office. There is a knock on the door.]
Ross: No, no you don't understand the animal hospital is way across town he's choking I don't know what else to do.
Rachel: Oh, well. Everything that I need (she takes her bag) is in here and my travel documents are on the counter organized in the order that I will be needing them.
Mackenzie: Well, if moving here is gonna make them happy, don't you want them to do it?
[Scene: Phoebes Herbal Guys office, Ross is there about his thing. Ross is looking around the exam room, and he goes over to a large bank of drawers, pulls one out and almost spills it as the herbalist, Guru Saj, enters.]
Ross: Listen, listen. Whoever you pick is gonna walk down the aisle with you! Now, I promise I won't say a word, but if you pick Chandler he's gonna be whispering stupid jokes in your ear the whole time!
Phoebe: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!! Hey!!! (they all stop fighting, Chandler continues to dance.) Look what youre doing to Chandler!! (Chandler finally stops) (to Ross and Rachel) Yeah, look, we know this is really, really hard for you guys. Okay? (Ross starts to leave) You dont, all right you dont have to love each other, okay? You dont, you dont even have to like each other much right now. But please, you have to figure out a way to be around each other.
MRS. GREENE: You work and you work and you work at a marriage but all he cares about is his stupid boat.
Joey: So what? Being funny is Chandler's thing... You know, like Ross's thing is... (he can't come up with anything)
Monica (enters the room): Are, are you kidding? This is packing?
Ross: Oh, I see, somebody is afraid of a little competition with the ladies?
Ross: Yeah? Yeah, where is it?
Ross: Here she is!
Rachel: Oh, oh. (she's holding the present, a transparent bag with a white stick in it). What is this?
Rachel: Mon... Okay... I've gotta... just say what it is I'm gonna say... None of the amazing things that have happened to me in the last ten years, would have happened if it wasn't for you. No-one has been more like a sister to me...
Monica: That is so sweet. (they hug)
Ross: Well it's okay. Chandler is talking to her.
Monica: This is not, what I�m wearing. I�m ovulating and Chandler�s gonna be home any minute, so I thought we would try before dinner.
[Scene: Madison Square Garden, Duncan's dressing room. Phoebe is fixing her hair and Duncan enters.]
Chandler: (to Monica) Is it okay that I want you to wear that head set in bed tonight?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, everyone is there and they are finishing watching the first episode of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. Joey is of course Mac.]
[Scene: Monica's living room. We look outside to the balcony where Rachel is saying goodbye to Joey.]
(They hear Monica trying to unlock the door. So Phoebe quickly pushes his head down onto the table to make it look like the turkey is just sitting on a platter and not stuck on Joey's head.)
Ross: (taping Joey with the cam) Hey, there is uncle Joey!
Joey: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no... I think it's better if you tell him, you know. It's easier for a woman. That way, you know, if he gets mad, all you have to do is go... I didn't mean it. I'm so so--ooory. (he pushes his breasts together from the side)
(Rachel looks shocked, gets over it, notices she's alone, and picks up the phone. The last part of which is something she shouldn't have done, because the phone is already in use. By Monica, and now Rachel can hear every word.)
Phoebe: (smiling, raising her hand) Who's hoping the hand raising thing is still cute enough that you won't hate me?
[Scene: The beach house, its still raining. Chandler is building a sand castle, Rachel is doing Monicas nails, and theyre all drinking margaritas, obviously bored.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Joey is there as Phoebe enters. Joey is holding a baby duck.]
Phoebe: That is the rule, though.
Ross: Is Rachel here?
Joey: So, so is she still going to Paris?
[Scene: Joey's apartment. He is sitting on the barcalounger holding a French study book and listening to a French learning tape.]
Chandler: Is it really that bad?
Monica: Chandler, you don't wanna miss this. This is the birth of your child! It's the miracle of life!
Doctor: The baby's head is crowning.
Erica: Is he okay?
Chandler: Alright. Wow, that is one disgusting miracle.
Rachel: I know, it's amazing. It's amazing. It's so much better than what I had at Ralph Lauren. The money is great...
Monica: This is unbelievable.
Monica: Okay, what if the person who adopts the other one is horrible?
Monica: Yeah, because I hear the king is looking to adopt.
(Ross is shocked.)
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. Chandler is still leaning against the door, keeping Joey out, who is still banging and shouting on the other side.]
Monica: Son of a gun, it is!
Phoebe: How sweet! Oh, is that the baby?
Chandler: Oh dont forget, my office holiday party is tonight. (They go into the apartment.)
Ross: Yeah, and she still wants to go! It's pretty clear where she is.
Joey: (To Monica) Hey, so what is the big surprise?
Chandler: Her name is Erica.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is performing, his music hasnt improved.]
Joey: This is so cool!
It only takes two heart attacks to finally make you see One of them wont do it, but the second one will set you free Tell all your hate and anger, its time to say good-bye And that is just what I will do, soon as those bastards I work for die! La, la-la-la, la-la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
[Scene: The street right in front of Central Perk. Phoebe's cab is there. Ross and Phoebe run over and jump in.]
[A monkey jumps on the desk and hands the guy a beer. He opens the beer and is suddenly on the beach, in a hammock, with beautiful women all around.]
[Scene: New York City Department of Correction, Monica is visiting Fake Monica.]
(Chandler grins, while Monica is less enthusiastic.)
Phoebe: Damn, that window is clean.
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey is still looking for the birds.]
(Monica turns around and is about to leave when she steps on something.)
Joey: Because its all tainted with your betrayal. From now on this apartment is empty for me! And Im not happy about you either. (The bread maker dings) Oh, and just so you know, I made that bread for you. (Joey walks into his bedroom and slams the door.)
[Scene: The gate. Rachel is still searching for her boarding pass.]
(Monica is standing by the crib, and she's looking at her babies.)
Rachel: Phoebe? Is everything okay?
[Scene: Monica's apartment, Chandler walks in with a friend of his while Monica is putting fruit in a bowl.]
Ross: Is the old woman on the bicycle still alive?
Rachel: This is ridiculous! I...
Air stewardess: There is no Philange!
Passenger #1: But she is sometimes.
(She notices that everybody is leaving.)
Monica: Alright. My job here is done.
[Scene: A Casting Directors Office, Joey is entering for his callback.]
Ross: Where is she?
Phoebe: There she is!
Ross: Okay, the thing is..
Passenger #1: We're all getting off. There is no Philange!
Chandler: Wow, this is weird.
[Scene: An Emergency Room, Rachel and Monica enter. Rachel is limping and leaning on Monica for support.]
Benjamin: Certainly. Very well. And Dr. Geller, when is my birthday?
(The message is finished. Ross jumps over to the answering machine.)