words in movies
Phoebe: No, and so there's no one to walk me down the aisle and... well, I would just really love it if you would do it.
Joey: (takes her hand) Listen, I hope... that you know... (has difficulty saying it) I don't want you to see your father cry, GO TO YOUR ROOM!
Phoebe: (her mobile phone rings) Oh, it's my wedding planner. She's driving me crazy! (she answers) Hello... Hey, ok, stop screaming! Ok? So, halibut. All right, so salmon, either way. I don't-I don't... it doesn't matter to me!
Monica: (she enters with a headset on and she's speaking into the microphone) Well, it matters to me!
Monica: Ok. Hold on. (her mobile phone rings) Geller here! No! I said it has to be there by 4 o'clock. Goodbye. (she hangs up) Oh, how hard it is to make an ice sculpture?
Phoebe: Rehearse it!
Phoebe: I'm sorry you guys but, you know, Mike's got his brother and his friends from school so... you know, you were-you were... if it helps you, you were next in line, you just-you just missed the cut.
Monica: (looking at Phoebe eating something) Pheebs, spit that out, that has pork in it.
Monica: Yeah, I changed them. I-I sent you a fax about it!
Ross: And it's a wedding! It'd be weird if I'm not in it...
Mike: Hey guys, how is it going?
Mike: Yeah look, about tomorrow, I... I've got a question for ya. I just found out that one of my groomsmen had had an emergency and can't make it.
Ross: I'll do it!
Mike: You both wanna do it? Uhm... there's only room for one.
Chandler: (almost crying) I wouldn't know, I didn't make it! (they hug)
Rachel: (excited and clapping her hands in front of her face) Goody, what is it!
Ross: I'll do it! (Monica approaches)
Phoebe: Ok. Hello everyone and thank you all for being here tonight. So tomorrow's the big event and some of you might not know, but Mike and I didn't get off to the best start. (she reads a note). My friend Joey and I decided to fix each other up with friends so I, I... (Monica is twirling her hands in order to make Phoebe speed up her speech) oh I... hum... I gave it a lot of thought and I fixed him up with my friend Mary Ellen who couldn't be here tonight because... (Monica is tapping her watch with her finger) it's not important... she is in rehab. Anyway, so, ok, Joey said that he was fixing me up with his friend Mike, only he didn't have a friend Mike so he just brought, uhm, my Mike and, and (Monica clears her throat) but despite, you know... it got... it got good. Ok, I wanna take a moment to mention my mother, who couldn't be here...
Phoebe: And... moment's over! (Rachel, Joey and Chandler all turn and look disapprovingly towards Monica but she just shrugs it off) So, ok, uh, I can forget that. I can forget that and uhm... (she's flipping cards skipping half of them) Oh this is funny! Oh, but you need to know that to... that, to... Oh, ok, well, uhm, I (Monica is miming CUT). Ok, ok, I, ok, I.... MONICA I CAN'T DO IT LIKE THIS! THIS IS MY WEDDING! OKAY, I DON'T WANT THIS (she mimes Monica's when she was twirling her hands) OR THIS (she taps her watch) OR THIS (she mimes CUT) OK? I JUST WANTED A SIMPLE WEDDING! WHERE MY FIANCEE CAN GO TO THE BATHROOM ANYTIME HE WANTS! (pause) You know what? You're done.
Rachel: Oh, Ross, c'mon, please! Don't make this harder than it already is!
Ross: I'm not! I'm making it easier! Pick me!
Chandler: Let me tell you why you need to pick me. (Goes to sit on the couch facing backwards to the kitchen. Rachel gets a chair and sits opposite him) See, when I was a kid, I was always left out of everything, you know, and it really made me feel... insecure. You know, I was always picked last in gym. Even behind that big fat exchange student who didn't even know the rules to baseball. I mean, this guy would strike out and then run to third. Anyway, If I'm the only one left out of this wedding, I just know that all those feelings are gonna come rushing back.
Phoebe: No! We're gonna do it my way. (listens) Because your way is stupid! Alright I gotta go, I have another call, Reverend. (switches calls) Hello?
Phoebe: Oh my God, what's it doing here?
Monica: (Obviously enjoying this setback) Ugh, I guess it got sent to the billing address as opposed to the shipping address. (by now she can barely keep herself from smiling) Uh! What a pickle.
Chandler: How's it going?
Ross: Rachel, only one of us can do it, you have to choose. You and me together again. (he winks at her and Rachel looks disgusted)
Mike: Oh, you haven't picked yet. Oh good, 'cause I had an idea. I thought it would be fun if the third groomsman was my family dog. Chappy.
Monica: (enjoying what she's seeing) How's it going?
Rachel: Wow, you know, it's so beautiful out there. You always wanted to get married outside. Why don't you guys just do it on the street?
Phoebe: Me too! (turning to Monica) Monica, do you think we could do it?
Mike: Hey! You made it. Great! Chappy! Hi! (kisses his dad) Hi! (kisses his mom) Mom, I know getting married in the street isn't something you approve of...
Mike's dad: (leans in towards Mike) I crushed a pill and put it in her drink... (to his wife) Come on, sweetheart.
Chandler and Ross: I'll do it!
Monica: Level 1 alert. I repeat, level 1. This is not a drill. Okay we've got a situation. The minister just called. He's snowed in. He can't make it.
Chandler: (quickly) I'll do it.
Monica: Okay, Mike and Joey, get in position. Chandler, come with me. (they walk off, Ross looks down to Chappy, who he's holding and he gets a whiff of the dog's smell. He is clearly disgusted by it.)
Chandler: (to Monica) Is it okay that I want you to wear that head set in bed tonight?
Monica: Okay Marjorie, hit it.
Joey: It was, yeah. I kind of don't want it to end. Hey, you wanna come in for a drink and a bite of corsage?
Chandler: Well, I think it's great that you're going on a date, you know? I mean, it sounds healthy. I mean, you have needs. Embrace your womanhood!
Missy: So how come it took you so long to ask me out?
Monica: Who is it?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is reading the newspaper as the phone rings. He lets the machine answer it.]
Phoebe Sr: (on phone) Ah, oh, hang on a second. (to Phoebe) Come in, come in. (on phone) All right, so think about it, and call me back. (hangs up)
Rachel: It... You can so totally tell.
Ross: Rach, I-I cant tell you how-how much that means to me! Ohh Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You-you hated the name Ruth! Why-why would you change your mind? Unless, you know were never going to have to use it. You did see the folder. You know its a boy!
Monica: It’s umm, it has something to do with transponding.
Chandler: I know. Gooooood luck with it.
Phoebe: (after a pause) Finish it!
Phoebe: Your last dance. Do it for us.
Phoebe: Hold it! (Grabs the badge) N.Y.P.D! Freeze punk!
Joey: Dude, dude! I think you're losing it.
Ross: Well, it matters to me.
Monica:: Oh well this is the only one they had at our video store, but they did have something called crocodile killers. Or does it always have to be sharks?
PHOEBE: [pauses the tape] Ok, Ben, this is the part where Ernie buries Bert in the sand and can't find him. Now, I've looked ahead on the tape and he does find him again. But, ok, before that happens, there's some pretty rough goin' for a while but I think we can handle it. And, there's just the alphabet but we know that ends well so. Ok, here we go. [starts the tape again]
Joey: Oh, its a new TV show. Yeah. Im up for the part of Mac Macaveli or "Mac." Yeah, Im a detective and I solve crimes with the help of my robot partner. Hes a, hes a Computerized Humanoid Electronically Enhanced Secret Enforcer or-or "C.H.E.E.S.E."
Carol: Is it a good sign that they asked us to hang around after the audition?
Rachel: All right. (She does so and it brings the cooler closer together.) Hey-hey-hey!! (Sees whats in the cooler.) Sandwiches!
(they fight a little, the phone falls and Monica picks it up)
Rachel: Thats it. (She crawls onto the bed) Ow!!!
PHOEBE: Ok, Ross, could you just open your mind like this much, ok? Wasn't there a time when the brightest minds in the world believed that the world was flat? And, up until like what, 50 years ago, you all thought the atom was the smallest thing, until you split it open, and this like, whole mess of crap came out. Now, are you telling me that you are so unbelievably arrogant that you can't admit that there's a teeny tiny possibility that you could be wrong about this?
Phoebe: That’s it? That’s why you won’t go out with her again? So, she took some fries, big deal!
Ross: Oh-oh, okay, okay! (He quickly takes off his sweater in order to put on the T-shirt. Its an old Frankie says relax T-shirt, that barely fits him. Rachel nods her head in approval of the new look.) If you dont mind Im gonna the rest of my stuff, and relax, in my favourite shirt. (Starts to leave) You have a pleasant evening. (He exits and leaves the door open.)
Monica: (to Danny) We'll be right there! (To Rachel) Can't you just say it starts later?
[Time lapse, Rachel pushes the flight attendant call button, takes Ross's drink, and spills it into his lap.]
Joey: (to Gene) I know it could be intimidating for regular people to be around celebrities but... relax, I'm just like you! (pause) Only better looking and richer.
Chandler: Oh come on! Hello! Hi! My name is Chandler, here's my friend Ross right here, and we were wondering you know if you're up for it. We only need six more people for a human pyramid...Swoop!! Swoop!!
Frank: (hiding under a pile of clothes) Hi. (She jumps up screaming.) Wait, no! Just put the mail down. Its-its me!
[Scene: Rachels Room, she is taking the ring out of Rosss jacket, looks at it, and puts it on her finger as Joey enters.]
Ross: Oh no. Dad! Dad! What (He goes to open one of her boxes and it rips apart.) Oh God everythings ruined! Dad, shes gonna be crushed!
Chandler: Okay, its just weird! Okay? I dont want to be standing their saying my vows and then having the mental image of you and Monica! I-I-I need I dont know what I need. I need a walk.
Monica: "Tonight's the night we're gonna make it happen, tonight we'll put all other things aside. Give in thistime and show me some affection..."
Phoebe: (looking into the trash can) Sure. (Reaching into the trash can.) Do you need some floss? (Grabs a piece of it.)
Monica: Yknow, you called me that before so I-I took the liberty of fashioning a star out of aluminum foil. Now, no pressure, you like my cookies, you give me the star. (Hands it to her.)
Ross: (whispering) It was ok...
Rachel: Seriously stop it, or I'm gonna jump on ya.
Phoebe: Well, just... let's try it again.
Joey: Got it.
Mona: No, its still wet. Yknow what? Let me get it out before it sets. Ooh, I have something you can wear. Here. (Hands him Rosss shirt.)
Phoebe: It does, really?
Joey: Really? It sounds exactly the same to me.
Phoebe: All right, let just try it again. Really listen.
Phoebe: Oh I got it!! (catches the ball) Oh! Ew! Broken boob! Ow!
Monica: (sees what he is doing) Chandler, stop! It is not going to pop open!
Ross: Right, is it painful?
Kathy: (on phone) Hey. (listens) Oh no its fine, dont worry about it. (listens) Yeah-no, stop apologizing, its okay. (listens) Yeah! Ill talk to you tomorrow. (hangs up) (to Chandler) I should uh, probably go.
Phoebe: Oh, and great! You might as well bring me my book, its on the counter in your apartment.
Joey: Nooo. No, no, ah, are you sure it wasnt something that sounded like Ginger, like ah, Gingeer?
Ross: Really? Is it ethical to ask someone in a grant review, who was the voice of "Underdog"?
JOEY: What happens if you flick it?
Rachel: Wait, we won't know that until we do it, will we?
Chandler: They thought it was very smart of us to have a child write the recommendation letter.
Monica: Oh! It was our pleasure. We are so much enjoying getting to know you.
Rachel: Oh, d'you like it?
Will: I said it was typical. Typical of you, Rachel Green, Queen Rachel does whatever she wants in little Rachel land. (Does a fake hair flip.)
Phoebe: Really, can I hear some of it.
Rachel: Yeah, I do. I think you should go, by yourself, get some distance, clear your head, I think itd be really good.
Ross: (knew this was coming) There it is... (he comes back)
Phoebe: No, he really hates it. But he's gonna let me keep my box of human hair! So you got to pick your battles. But the good news is, Gladys is yours!
PHOEBE: It was an accident, and, and the woman who did this would never ever hurt a dog on purpose. She's a vegetarian.
Phoebe: Ooh, this is it! (Looks in the window.) Oh, thats him! Thats him!
Elizabeth: Oh. Well, so we have to hide our relationship from one more person. Big deal. Besides, its kinda fun hiding.
Joey: Uh no Rach, hes gone. But listen, he told us what happened and it does, it sounds like an honest mistake.
Director: It was great.
Rachel: No matter how much we want it.
Rachel: You know it was you're uhm... birthday...
Ross: Damn it. It's never off the table. (he leaves the apartment)
Ross: Even if we want it really bad.
Phoebe: It's off the resumé. (she strikes it through with a pencil)
Joey: No-no-no! Look, Ive been thinking about it. Im an actor right? So I wont get nervous talking in front of people.
Phoebe: (checking her watch) You did it!
DUNCAN: Well, I've never told you this but, there were one or two times, back in college, when I'd get really drunk, go to a straight bar and wake up with a woman next to me. But I, I, I told myself it was the liquor and e-everyone experiments in college.
Chandler: YOU NEVER DID IT!
Phoebe: Where did you go to do it?
Joey: Thats better, now just bend your arms a little more. There you go. Okay, look straight ahead. Now this time I want you to really put your ass into it. (They do a practice swing and she really puts her ass into it.)
Rachel: Ha! See, I knew, I knew youd get it on the first guess. Isnt it cool! Its an apothecary table.
Mike: Oh, it's just... It's up to you. It's your name. You've got to live with it.
Monica: Joey, please come. It would mean so much to us.
Chandler: Damn it.
Chandler: Oh God! What was it? The thing that we hardly ever do or the thing we never do?
Chandler: Shes moving on! Okay, if its not this guy, its gonna be somebody else! And unless youre thinking about subletting my peep hole, you are going to have to get used to the fact that the relationship is over! Okay, man? Its over.
Rachel: No, I-I-I love it there.
Chandler: Forget it! Okay, Im not giving up my bachelor pad for some basketball seats!
Clerk: It can be anything you want.
Monica: It says “Do it!”. And behold she did adopt onto them a baby. And it was good.
Phoebe: Oh, not anymore. I changed it today.
Phoebe: Save it Red! Unless you wanna spend the night in the slammer, you apologize to the tree.
Ross: Oh, you know what? You're gonna get it. I-I-I-I can feel it.
Joey: Oh really? Well, maybe you and I go out for drinks? (Pause) Youre the other one right? (She thinks about it for a second and nods yes.)
Ross: But also knowing it means a lot.
Rachel: Well, it wasn't just me, alright? He freaked out too! He couldn't even undo my bra!
Monica: I couldnt eat it! I had five friends who couldnt eat it, and one of them eats books.
Monica: Oh Joey, look, we know you're having a hard time with this, but we really, we love it here.
Ross: (in his head) Say something clever! (Pause.) Okay, doesnt have to be clever, it just has to be words. Say some words. (Pause) Any words will do. (Pause) Oh my God! This is the longest that anyone has not talked ever! (Pause) There is nothing you can say to make this worse!! So just say something!! (Pause.) (To her) I-I, I uh havent had sex in a very long time. (She leaves.) (In his head) Yeah, you really shouldnt have said anything.
Phoebe: Great, okay, what are you gonna change it to?
Mike: I do love it, and I love your name. I love Princess Consuela.
Joey: Yeah, well, that's fine, but the important thing is that I finished it. And uh, I think it's really good, but y'know it'd really help me is if I could hear it. So would you guys read it for me?
Mark: Why don't we have dinner tonight and talk about it?
(Chandler gives Monica a footlong "eye dropper" with the turkey grease in it)