words in movies
Leslie: Yeah, but, I dont do that anymore. I got kinda sick of it, and then I couldnt come up with anything good, so they fired me.
Leslie: Aw come on Phoebe would you just think about it?
[Scene: Outside the bathroom, Chandler is pacing back and fourth, waiting is use it.]
Chandler: Jeez, man did you fall..(sees its a beautiful woman coming out of the mens room) Hi! So ah, did ya, did-did-did ya fall high?
Joey: Ah, he cant make it, he said he had to his... (sees Ginger) Whoa-oh! (hides behind the coat rack.)
(She walks over behind the coat rack, but Joey picks it up and moves it so that hes still behind it, and she cant see him.)
Ross: Come on sweetie! Youve had to work late every night for the past two weeks, what is it this time?
Mark: Actually, its kinda my fault. I-I quit today.
Ross: Oh well thats great, so I guess this is ah, this is good bye then. Huh? (picks a pad up off Rachels desk and tosses it into his box) Good bye.
Phoebe: Oh. (takes her beeper puts in a pot, covers it, and puts the pot in the oven)
Joey: Nooo. No, no, ah, are you sure it wasnt something that sounded like Ginger, like ah, Gingeer?
Monica: No, it was Ginger. I remember, because when he told me, I said, (singing) the movie star.
Joey: What, oh, oh, oh, no, no, I cant, I cant tell you that, its like the most awful, horrible thing Ive ever done my whole life.
Monica: Y'know what, dont tell us. Well just wait until Chandler gets home, (to Phoebe) because itll be more fun that way.
Joey: All right!! Okay, it was like four years ago. Okay, Ginger and I had gone out a few times, and then this one weekend, we went up to her Dads cabin. Just me, her, and her annoying little dog Pepper. Well that night, I cooked this really romantic dinner....
Joey: I wish. No. After dinner, me, her, and Pepper all fell asleep in front of the fire. Well I woke up in the middle of the night and I saw that the fire was dying out. So, I picked up a log and threw it on. Or, at least what I thought was a log.
Ginger: Oh, dont worry about it.
Ross: Oh, no, no, no, its-its not the lecture ah, I mind, umm....
Rachel: Oh, please tell me its not because Im going with Mark.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is looking at her beeper still in the pot. She takes it out, shakes it, and puts it back in.]
Phoebe: Its just y'know, been a couple of hours, and she hasnt called. Not that I even care, y'know.
Phoebe: I cant. I cant. She dumped me, I mean I totally trusted her and then one day it was Okay, bye Pheebs gone. Y'know what the saddest part is, when we were playing together, that was like the most fun Ive ever had in like all my lives.
Phoebe: (singing) Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat, smelly cat, its not your fault.
Leslie: Y'know you could totally sell this. Itd be perfect for like umm, a kitty litter campaign.
Phoebe: Thats okay. All right, Im gonna play song thats really, really sad. Its called Magician Box Mix Up. (she turns her guitar upside down to play it.)
Chandler: Great. It was great. Shes ah, shes great, great looking, great personality, shes greatness.
Chandler: Oh God, it freaked me out. Okay, I know it shouldnt have, but it did. I mean I like her, I dont want to stop seeing her, but every so often its like Hey, y'know what, wheres your leg? I mean Im the smallest person in the world arent I? Im the smallest person in the world.
Chandler: It came up.
Joey: Listen, I ah, I know its a longshot. But, by any chance did she find that funny?
Rachel: Nodded off!! Ross you were snoring. My fathers boat didnt make that much noise when it hit rocks!
Rachel: Well okay, how about four hours in a freezing museum auditorium listening to Professor Pitstains and hes Hey everybody! Remember that thing thats been dead for a gazillion years. Well theres this little bone we didnt know it had!
Ross: First of all its Professor Pittain! And second of all, that little bone, proved that, that particular dinosaur had wings, but didnt fly.
Ross: No-no-no, a bunch of out of control jackets take over an island. (Makes an unusual sound, then he realises that he still has his jacket on and quickly tries to shake it off, thinking its alive and attacking him.)
Rachel: Y'know if what I do is so lame, then why did you insist on coming with me this morning? Huh? Was it so I just wouldnt go with Mark?
Ross: No. I... I wanted to be with you. I dont know, I feel like lately, I feel like youre slipping away from me, y'know. With this new job, and all these new people, and youve got this whole other life going on. I-I-I know its dumb, but I hate that Im not a part of it.
Rachel: Its not dumb. But, maybe its okay that youre not a part of it. Y'know what I mean? (Ross looks confused) I mean its like, I-I-I like that youre not involved in that part of my life.
Rachel: Honey see, it doesnt mean that I dont love you. Because I do. I love you, I love you so much. But my work its-its for me y'know, Im out there, on my own, and Im doing it and its scary but I love it, because its mine. I, but, I mean is that okay?
Ginger: Its okay if it bothers you. Really. I mean the only thing I need to know is: How much it bothers you? because I dont like wasting my time. Am I wasting my time?
Ginger: Okay. Its just like anything else, you just have to get used to it.
Chandler: Its kinda a ah, a third nipple kinda thing.
Ginger: Ah well, its nubbin. Nothing! Umm. Y'know what, Ill see you later. Okay. (She leaves and in the hall we see her shake her shoulders like when someone runs their fingernails across a blackboard.)
Phoebe: No, look, I told you that I didnt want you to try and sell it, and you just, you big fat did it anyway. God, y'know what, I think five years ago I probably wouldve done anything to play with you but, I can do it by myself. And if I cant trust you then just forget it.
Leslie: No, no, I dont want to forget it.
Phoebe: Okay y'know what you have to choose. All right, if-if the most important thing on the planet to you is this cat poopy thing then, okay you can have Smelly Cat, but we wont be partners. So whats it gonna be?
Monica: Wow! Its like Rachel in High School.
Monica: Come on! Come on, I was kidding! It was such an obvious joke!
Chandler: That was an obvious joke, and I didnt think of it. Why didnt I think of it? The source of all my powers. Oh dear God, what have I done!
Rachel: Seriously stop it, or I'm gonna jump on ya.
Phoebe: Well, just... let's try it again.
Joey: Got it.
Mona: No, its still wet. Yknow what? Let me get it out before it sets. Ooh, I have something you can wear. Here. (Hands him Rosss shirt.)
Phoebe: It does, really?
Joey: Really? It sounds exactly the same to me.
Phoebe: All right, let just try it again. Really listen.
Phoebe: Oh I got it!! (catches the ball) Oh! Ew! Broken boob! Ow!
Monica: (sees what he is doing) Chandler, stop! It is not going to pop open!
Ross: Right, is it painful?
Monica: (enjoying what she's seeing) How's it going?
Kathy: (on phone) Hey. (listens) Oh no its fine, dont worry about it. (listens) Yeah-no, stop apologizing, its okay. (listens) Yeah! Ill talk to you tomorrow. (hangs up) (to Chandler) I should uh, probably go.
Phoebe: Oh, and great! You might as well bring me my book, its on the counter in your apartment.
Ross: Really? Is it ethical to ask someone in a grant review, who was the voice of "Underdog"?
JOEY: What happens if you flick it?
Rachel: Wait, we won't know that until we do it, will we?
Chandler: They thought it was very smart of us to have a child write the recommendation letter.
Monica: Oh! It was our pleasure. We are so much enjoying getting to know you.
Rachel: Oh, d'you like it?
Will: I said it was typical. Typical of you, Rachel Green, Queen Rachel does whatever she wants in little Rachel land. (Does a fake hair flip.)
Phoebe: Really, can I hear some of it.
Rachel: Yeah, I do. I think you should go, by yourself, get some distance, clear your head, I think itd be really good.
Ross: (knew this was coming) There it is... (he comes back)
Phoebe: No, he really hates it. But he's gonna let me keep my box of human hair! So you got to pick your battles. But the good news is, Gladys is yours!
PHOEBE: It was an accident, and, and the woman who did this would never ever hurt a dog on purpose. She's a vegetarian.
Phoebe: Ooh, this is it! (Looks in the window.) Oh, thats him! Thats him!
Elizabeth: Oh. Well, so we have to hide our relationship from one more person. Big deal. Besides, its kinda fun hiding.
Joey: Uh no Rach, hes gone. But listen, he told us what happened and it does, it sounds like an honest mistake.
Director: It was great.
Rachel: No matter how much we want it.
Rachel: You know it was you're uhm... birthday...
Ross: Damn it. It's never off the table. (he leaves the apartment)
Ross: Even if we want it really bad.
Phoebe: It's off the resumé. (she strikes it through with a pencil)
Joey: No-no-no! Look, Ive been thinking about it. Im an actor right? So I wont get nervous talking in front of people.
Phoebe: (checking her watch) You did it!
DUNCAN: Well, I've never told you this but, there were one or two times, back in college, when I'd get really drunk, go to a straight bar and wake up with a woman next to me. But I, I, I told myself it was the liquor and e-everyone experiments in college.
Chandler: YOU NEVER DID IT!
Phoebe: Where did you go to do it?
Joey: Thats better, now just bend your arms a little more. There you go. Okay, look straight ahead. Now this time I want you to really put your ass into it. (They do a practice swing and she really puts her ass into it.)
Rachel: Ha! See, I knew, I knew youd get it on the first guess. Isnt it cool! Its an apothecary table.
Mike: Oh, it's just... It's up to you. It's your name. You've got to live with it.
Monica: Joey, please come. It would mean so much to us.
Chandler: Damn it.
Chandler: Oh God! What was it? The thing that we hardly ever do or the thing we never do?
Chandler: Shes moving on! Okay, if its not this guy, its gonna be somebody else! And unless youre thinking about subletting my peep hole, you are going to have to get used to the fact that the relationship is over! Okay, man? Its over.
Rachel: No, I-I-I love it there.
Chandler: Forget it! Okay, Im not giving up my bachelor pad for some basketball seats!
Clerk: It can be anything you want.
Monica: It says “Do it!”. And behold she did adopt onto them a baby. And it was good.
Phoebe: Oh, not anymore. I changed it today.
Phoebe: Save it Red! Unless you wanna spend the night in the slammer, you apologize to the tree.
Ross: Oh, you know what? You're gonna get it. I-I-I-I can feel it.
Joey: Oh really? Well, maybe you and I go out for drinks? (Pause) Youre the other one right? (She thinks about it for a second and nods yes.)
Ross: But also knowing it means a lot.
Rachel: Well, it wasn't just me, alright? He freaked out too! He couldn't even undo my bra!
Monica: I couldnt eat it! I had five friends who couldnt eat it, and one of them eats books.
Monica: Oh Joey, look, we know you're having a hard time with this, but we really, we love it here.
Ross: (in his head) Say something clever! (Pause.) Okay, doesnt have to be clever, it just has to be words. Say some words. (Pause) Any words will do. (Pause) Oh my God! This is the longest that anyone has not talked ever! (Pause) There is nothing you can say to make this worse!! So just say something!! (Pause.) (To her) I-I, I uh havent had sex in a very long time. (She leaves.) (In his head) Yeah, you really shouldnt have said anything.
Phoebe: Great, okay, what are you gonna change it to?
Mike: I do love it, and I love your name. I love Princess Consuela.
Joey: Yeah, well, that's fine, but the important thing is that I finished it. And uh, I think it's really good, but y'know it'd really help me is if I could hear it. So would you guys read it for me?
Mark: Why don't we have dinner tonight and talk about it?
(Chandler gives Monica a footlong "eye dropper" with the turkey grease in it)
Rachel: Ross, it is 100 degrees outside. For the first time in weeks, I am somewhat comfortable.
Chandler: Man, those two dogs are going at it!
Joey: No! (She nods no to Chandler) Because he didn't believe in my movie! Which is a big mistake because it is real! Real!
Rachel: Oh, it was great. Mark is so sweet.
Joey: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Oh hey! Can you, can you hang on a second? (To Phoebe and Rachel) Its the producers over at Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. can you excuse me for a minute? (On phone) Hey, funny you should call. I was just looking over next weeks script. (Listens) Canceled?! (Listens) Like theyre taking it off the air? (Listens) Ohh. (Listens) All right, see you Monday. (Listens) Were not even shootin them anymore?!! (Listens) All right, bye! (Hangs up) They canceled Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E!
Ross: All right, we'll work it out.
Rachel: I think it is. (Ross looks very sad. Phoebe and Joey enter.)
Joey: Oh hey, dont worry about it man. Dont worry about it, no big deal.
Rachel: (walking towards Joey) Joey, it would mean so...
Joey: Well, it comes and goes. I wouldn't trust it.
Monica: It is going to be okay! (Mrs. Green glances over her shoulder and glares at Monica while she heads for the bathroom.) It was worth a shot.
Chandler: Well, it makes me feel sad, but...
Phoebe: Lets go! Come on! Move it! (Grabs her coat.) Come on! (To an old man whos holding her shoes and briefcase.) Shoes! Briefcase! (Takes them both.) Thanks Lou, good luck with the gall bladder. (She leaves.)
Ross: Anyway seriously, uh just just talk to the guy, okay? And tell me how it goes. (walks towards the door until )
Monica: But what if it is better than ours? Should we at least look?
Monica: What if he reads it in the paper?
Ross: You let Rachel come back, and it’s done.
Phoebe (doing Estelle): Joey, it’s Estelle.
2nd Customer: It was. The duck in particular was superb.
Joey: That’s it? You know, it seems all you do lately is drop the ball.
Monica: Love it!
Lady: Oh, sure. I’m showing it to someone else right now, but please, look around.
Monica: (looking at Phoebe eating something) Pheebs, spit that out, that has pork in it.
Monica: Y'know, I-I-I don't think that I can. So if you don't mind, maybe this will be it for me on the work things.
Phoebe: Yes. Yes. Yes. I cant believe it! The baby wants bologna! Maybe he wants me to eat meat? I cant eat meat!
Emily: She said, "If Im not gonna be happy getting married somewhere that we find in a day, well then we should just postpone it."
r Zelner: Who is it?
Chandler: Yknow what? I dont trust you with this cake anymore! And I got it first, and Im takin it back! (Grabs the cheesecake and heads for his apartment.)
Mr Zelner: Okay, you got it.
Ross: Oh, (grins) Believe me, the ladies, they love it!
Mr Zelner: (Takes a long look at the egg while he considers it) Wow, that's pretty cool (Takes the egg from Ross)
Joey: Can I ask you something? Uhm, what's it like there?
Phoebe: Well, so what I like him! Do I make fun of the people youve dated? Tag, Janice, Mona? No, because friends dont do that. But, do you want my opinion? Do you want it? Cause in my opinion, your collective dating record reads like the whos who of human crap. (Walks off)
Ross: Oh, all right. (Joey flips the coin.) Tails! (The coin bounces off of the landing above them and falls to the ground.) Can you-can you see what it is?
Rachel: Well, I took it.
Phoebe: Wrong again! Apparently you can change it to anything you want. So I thought, all right, here's an opportunity to be creative. So meet Princess Consuela Banana Hammock.