words in movies
Chandler: Yknow what? It seems like all of the sudden; so much has happened.
Chandler: Why not?! I mean its just, its just climbing! Its just, its just steep!
Chandler: Were going to Everest! Okay, it would be nice to leave an ass print on Everest!
Phoebe: Really?! I looked into that. Yeah, but, I mean it costs like $60,000 and yknow you can die. And, you would die!
Emily: Oh, no-no, yknow I absolutely adore Rachel its just that, well it might be a awkward for you. But its absolutely your decision. (Gets up.) More tea?
Ross: Oh. Listen, do you think- and try not to let my intense vulnerability become any kind of a factor herebut do you think it would be okay if I asked you out? Sometime? Maybe?
Rachel: Oh, look at the little cat! [a small kitten is on the roof behind Ross] Look at it!
Rachel: All right, listen, missy. If you want this cart, you're gonna have to take me with it!
(She thinks it over, and then walks away.)
Ross: The point is I... I don't need this right now, OK. It, it's too late, I'm with somebody else, I'm happy. This ship has sailed.
(Rachel slams the door and locks it. She sits down, visibly upset. She puts her head in her hands and begins to cry. Ross comes back and is standing outside the window. When Rachel regroups and gets back up to finish closing, she sees him.)
Ross: Okay, its not, its not.
Ross: Yeah, y'know the ah, the girlfriend I told you about last night? (Hes frantically throwing the cushions off of the couch looking for her other shoe) Well it turns out she ah, she wants to get back together with me. Oh, I found it!!
Rachel: Come on Ross! You said you wanted to talk about it, lets talk about it!! How was she?
(Rachel picks up a newspaper and starts beating him with it.)
[Scene: Rachel's bedroom, Rachel, entering selfish mode, is thanking Ross for wrongly taking the entire blame of the breakup; as if she had absolutely nothing to do with it.]
Rachel: ...the way you owned up to everything, it just showed me how much youve grown. Y'know? I mean my Mom never thought this would work out. It was all, Once a cheater, always a cheater. Ooh, I just wish we hadnt lost those four months, but if time was what you needed just to gain a little perspective...
[Scene: A mailbox, Ross is mailing the invitations. He throws a bunch into the mailbox, but pauses with Rachel's. And it starts another round of clips.]
Ross: Yeah, I really do. Yeah, but what am I gonna do, I mean we-we both agreed that it was gonna be a two-week thing, yknow no commitment.
Rachel: Ross, that girl just spent the entire evening talking to your friends, asking to hear stories about you, looking through Monicas photo albums, I mean you dont do that if youre just in it for two weeks.
[Cut back to the present, Ross is still looking at Rachel's invitation. Finally, he makes up his mind and mails it.]
Monica: Ohh, this is soo amazing! I cant believe my brothers getting married! And in London! Its so romantic!
Rachel: Oh, no! No you guys! Come on, you dont have to do that! Im happy for him! I am! I reallyIm-Im happIll work on it.
Monica: You know what would be real weird? Is if you werent there. Just say youll think about it, okay?
Rachel: No, Ill think about it. Yeah.
Rachel: Oh... (opens it and sees it is a pin) Oh my God. He remembered.
Rachel: It was like months ago. We were walking by this antique store, and I saw this pin in the window, and I told him that it was just like one my grandmother had when I was a little girl. Oh! I can't believe he remembered!
Ross: Ok, no, no, you hang up. You, you, y(Rachel grabs the phone and hangs it up for him.)
(They kiss and start undressing. As Rachel tries to pull off Ross's tie she catches it in his mouth. Then they roll across the fur rug.)
Ross: Y'know, hey! Youre the one who ended it, remember?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Ross are finally breaking up for good, or is it?]
Ross: (starts to cry) FINE BY ME!! (he opens the door and traps Chandler behind it)
Rachel: And hey! Just so you know, its not that common! It doesnt happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!!
Chandler: I KNEW IT!!!!
Monica: Oh, dad, turn it off.
Mr. Geller: It is off. Right Ross? (pans over to see Ross with an afro and moustache)
Ross: Y'know what? I think we've seen enough, let's turn it off.
Rachel: Yeah. Its just gonna be too hard. Yknow? I mean, its Ross. How can I watch him get married? Yknow its just, its for the best, yknow it is, its Yknow, plus, somebodys got to stay here with Phoebe! Yknow shes gonna be pretty big by then, and she needs someone to help her tie her shoes; drive her to the hospital in case she goes into labour.
Rachel: I know. (Starts to cry) Yeah, see, theres so much to do and I have so little time to do it in.
Chandler: All right, check it out. Check this out. It says here that theres a place you can go to rent videos of all the museums! (Reading from the book.) "Its almost as good as being there."
Joey: Its better! You cant go to a museum in your underwear!
Phoebe: I hope its you.
PHOE: Alright, don't say that. He's probably always been dull. You just, you know, set it free.
Rachel: Okay, bla-bla-bla-bla!! Who is it?!
Ross: Joey, we just saw it!
Phoebe: Yeah, my mom sent me a family heirloom that once belonged to my grandmother. Can you believe it?! A year ago I didn't even have a family, and now I have heirlooms for crying out loud.
Phoebe: (pauses as he figures out how to answer that) Because Im normal! That was the one legacy my grandmother left me, and I know you wanted it as an engagement present.
Rachel: Why does it matter so much to you?!
Ross: Its also a sign of friendship.
Monica: No, its more like a (sarcastically) good luck.
Mark: I can't help it, I'm just, I'm just crazy about you.
Joey: Or maybe, its because youre hanging around here at 11:30 on a Wednesday. (Everybody gets up.)
Ross: Im, Im sorry you didnt get to go to Spacecamp, and Im hoping that maybe somehow, this may make up for it. Presenting Sarah Tuttles Private Very Special Spacecamp!! (opens the door and Chandler and Joey jump up, their apartment is decorated like outer space, one of the leather chairs is covered in tinfoil.)
Phoebe: Okay, so after this audition, who decides who gets it?
Joey: I want to do it again.
Ross: Because its weird!
Monica: Can you believe it? ...Y'know what? I just don't feel the thing. I mean, they feel the thing, I don't feel the thing.
Ross: Ive said it! Okay?! But its over Joey!
Ross: We cant do it again.
(Chandler makes it into the bowl.)
Tag: All right then, its settled.
Joey: Come on! Admit it! That was the best nap you ever had!
Ross: Because its the highest. (Joey shrugs his shoulders) Okay, Rachel youre up first. (Rachel stands up and gets ready.) Situation No. 1: Youre with Monica, the wedding is about to start when Monica gets cold feet. Go! (Joey is playing the part of Monica.)
Amy: no, no, then I would get the baby. I mean you know it would be just like a movie. Like at first I wouldn't know what to do with her, then I would rise to the occasion and and then I would get a makeover and then I'd get married.
Rachel: its gonna be okay!
Ross: I meanno, its just cause, its just cause you and I were like a nightmare. (Screams.) No, but there was some good times.
Joey: No, one man for the rest of my life? I dont know if I can do it! This means Ill never get to sleep with Joey!
Ross: Yeah, it really was!
Monica: Its pretty clear.
Ross: Im sorry Rach, it was, it was really close.
Ross: Actually, it wasnt that close.
Monica: No, no, no. Honey, I'm ok. Shake it off! (she shakes the wrist and it's more painful) Oh, no! No shaking, no shaking! Ooh! Ooh! (pause) Oh my God! I can't play!
Chandler: Look I know it was a stupid reason to break up with somebody, but I was 15!
Monica: (sits next to him) Phoebe, its okay that you dont want me to be your girlfriend because I have the best boyfriend.
Ross: Oh no-no, after you. (She grabs a chair and heads upstairs.) (When shes gone.) Oh my God! (He drops the box and Chandler cant pick it up.)
Phoebe: Wow! Well, if you nail the interview, you'll get it!
Phoebe: Because I think it means more to you.
Joey: (checks in the window to make sure it has them) Its got em!
Joey: Sure, if you cared enough to call it first.
Ross: It really was.
Monica: I know!! (calls him) (on phone) Chip? Hi! Its Monica. (listens) Kay. (listens) Kay. (listens) Okay. (listens) Okay, good-bye. (hangs up) Oh my God, we just had the best conversation!! (goes into her room as Rachel enters)
Monica: Kinda. (She hugs Phoebe and looks out the window. She moves closer to it to get a better look.) Oh my God!
Monica: It was a mistake. Please dont take this to mean anything, because it doesnt.
Ross: Seriously, I-I asked you before and you still havent gotten it.
Phoebe: (Looking relieved. She puts down the phone.) Oh thank god. Oh, you changed your mind. Oh, look I know you probably want to be alone, and you dont want to talk about it, thats fine. I just want you to know, I think you are doing the right thing and...
Julie: (To Rachel) Oh, you're losin' your apron here, let me get it. There you go. (Ties it back up for her)
Monica: Okay, guys, listen, don't forget that tomorrow is the day that Emily gets married again, so whatever we do, just try to really keep Ross's mind off of it.
Monica: Would it really have been that easy?
Chandler: Dont take this personally okay? Its just that I just cant have sex with a sick person.
Joey: Me too. I mean I havent thought at all about how I put myself out there and said all that stuff and how you didnt feel the same way about me and-and how it was really awkward.
Bobby: You bet I am! (To Joey) And to answer your earlier question, were straight-up gangster rap. (Joey shakes his head as if hes about to lose it.)
Janine: I just got a call to be a dancer on a television special for New Years Eve. Its called some sort of Dickn Rockn Dickie Eve.
Monica: No. No. Not it. Not it. Not it. (Checks another rack and another woman tries to reach around her.) (To the woman) Dont crowd me! (Finds it) This is it! This is the dress! Oh my God, its perfect! (She takes it off of the rack and someone has a hold of it on the other side of the rack and tugs on it.) Im sorry, this ones taken! (The other woman tugs harder pulling Monica through the rack.) Whoa!
Phoebe and Rachel: 32. (Joeys not buying it.)
Chandler: I want to. I love her so much, but Im afr Its too huge.
Joey: (not buying it) Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Or, or Im the one who dates her.
Janice: Oh, what are you, stupid? Its been three hours.
Rachel: So hows it goin with Joey?
Phoebe: Then change it back!
Monica: Yeah, she hates all mass produced stuff. She thinks her furniture should have a history, a story behind it.
Phoebe: No, I made myself take an oath. Yeah, no fooling around with clients and umm, always be prepared. Yeah, that ones actually from the Boy Scouts, but it just makes good sense.
Phoebe: You could get arrested, right now! (Flashes the badge and they glare at her.) All right, yeah, I gotta take it back. I'm totally drunk with power. (She heads for the door just as Joey enters.)
MONICA: (holding up a blanket) Where's Benny? (drops the blanket) There he is! (does it again) Where's Benny, there he is.
Phoebe: Well, freaked. Cause it turns out that the odds are really sucky. And! This is Frank and Alices like only shot. Like, they are literally putting all of their eggs in my basket.
(Monica sees a woman pass by with a baby, puts the phone to her chest, and starts to cry. Chandler takes the phone, makes a noise in it resembling static, and hangs up. Joey enters.)
Chandler: Its my joke.
Monica: I never stop thinking about it.
Janice: Please, its because otherwise I really dont know what I might do.
Phoebe: Oh, its bad. Its really bad. The only thing in there that isnt burned is an ass. Which I do not remember buying!
(Phoebe then gets possessed 'cause she starts speaking in tongues. She speaks Italian to Joey's grandmother. She is quickly exorcised and returns to speaking in English. Of course, too most people English is a strange language as well. But none of them are probably reading this and if they were they wouldn't understand it. So why am I talking about them? I have absolutely no clue. Moving on )
Joey: Just casually slip it in, yknow lay the groundwork. Tell her uh, Im a lonerNo! An outlaw! Tell her she doesnt want to get mixed up with the likes of me.
(The guys takes a hockey stick and slips it through the handles then proceeds to take the stereo and Chandlers computer and walk out.)
(Ross tries to dismiss it by making that sound, but decides to go for it and follows Rachel.)
Rachel: But Pheebs, yknow you earned it.
The Colonel: OH MY GAWD!!!! (Yep, its Janice.)
Phoebe: Hurry! Monicas gonna make you pack! Shes got jobs for everyone! Now, its too late for me, but save your selves! (The guys scramble for the door.)
(Rachel sits on the window seat, and knocks against it)
Chandler: Expect it in 4-6 weeks. (She starts to leave.) Umm, hey, umm, Joey's gonna be at the telethon for the rest of the day, we have the whole place to ourselves.
Chandler: What is it doing here?
Chandler: Well, it still has to go, right?
Rachel: All right thats it! I am maid of honor!
Ross: (to Phoebe) It hurts my teeth.
Phoebe: Oh God, I tried everything to make myself feel better. I even tried writing a song about it... but... I can't think of anything that rhymes with AARRGGHH!! (pause) Hey Monica, I really need your help getting through this...
(Ross starts to play. He plays a key that has a back beat sound attached to it. Over the background music he plays the sound of a barking dog, a mooing cow, a laser beam, someone coughing, a jackhammer, a doorbell, a police siren, a ray gun, breaking dishes, and for a closer he plays the sound of a loud crash. Basically, the music sucks.)
Rachel: Oh God, oh God, its sowed on though.
Rachel: Because, uhit has to.
Joey: (through the window) All right, he likes you back! Huh? Told ya, you should go for it!
Joey: Well, its good thing you got out when you did, before she blew up like that Vesuvius.
Elizabeth: Ohh, I wouldnt do it in there. Thats my dads bedroom.
Joey: I did it anyway.
Joey: If you said it like that, you probably did, yeah.
Rachel: Now, she thinks that I made out with him and I did it to get her job.
Phoebe: Thank you. (To the other woman) No? (She nods.) All right. (She goes to another pairing.) Oh, its so nice to see you.
Rachel: Well Joey, I hate to admit it, your way of sailing is a lot more fun.
The Interviewer: So umm, now back to the show. How does it feel to have a huge gay fan base?
Monica: Come on, was it somebody maybe you dated in college?
Monica: Stop it. Stop! Okay let's go. We can be strong.
Monica: Is it like for dinosaur emergencies. 'Help, come quick, they're still extinct.'
Rachel: Pat the dog. Oh! Oh! I get it!! (Laughs and finishes her drink.)
Phoebe: Yeah, oh Im sorry, it must be really hard to hear! I tell ya, its a lot easier having three babies play Bringing in the Noise, Bringing in da Funk on your bladder! Im so sick of being pregnant! The only happiness I get is from a cup of coffee, which of course is decaf, causeOh! Im pregnant!
Monica: Did the girl ever let you ride it?