words in movies
Rachel: Wait a minute! (To Monica) You let Ross drive the Porsche and when I ask you, you say youre the only one whos allowed to drive it.
Monica: Yeah, well hes my brother! And plus he drives so slow he could never hurt it.
Ross: Its a car Monica! Not a rocket ship!
Rachel: (shocked) You let Joey drive it?!
Phoebe: Ive never driven it! Okay? Not once! Okay once. Okay, I drive it all the time.
Monica: Nice work everybody! So much for the yknow, "You can drive it, but dont tell Rachel" plan!
Ross: Fine! Yknow what? It doesnt matter, because, if I remember correctly, there is a comb on the floor of the bathroom.
Chandler: Well he doesnt have to know! Its not like we run in the same circles. I hang out with you guys, and he stars in a drag show in Vegas.
{Transcribers Note: She puts the key into the ignition, which is on the left side of the steering wheel. Does anyone know why that is? Its a tradition left over from Porsches racing history. The worlds greatest endurance race is the 24 Hours of LeMans. Which is in France and runs for 24 hours straight from noon on Saturday through the dark of night and finishes at noon on Sunday. In the 60s LeMans had a unique start where the drivers would actually start the race outside of the car and across the track. At the start of the race, the drivers would run across the track, get in the car, buckle up, start the car, and drive off. Porsche wanted to reduce the amount of time that took. Since all cars to that point had the ignition switches on the right side of the steering wheel, that required the drivers to use their right hand to grab the seat-belts, put the car in gear and start it. The drivers left hand did nothing. Porsche in order to save a few seconds in a 24-hour race; moved the ignition switches to the left side of the steering wheel so that the driver could start the car with his left hand while grabbing the seat-belts with his right hand. Thats why every Porsche car built since then has the ignition on the left side of the steering wheel.}
Ross: No ah-ah-ah! Do not start this car! (She starts the car.) Okay! Okay! I will give you twenty bucks if you get out of this car right now! (He looks for the twenty Rachel stole and doesnt find it.)
Phoebe: Yeah! Sure! Ooh, I left my purse up at Monicas. Ill be right back. (She goes to get it.)
Monica: Its your suitcase. Were going to Las Vegas.
Monica: Were going to Las Vegas to see your dad. Its time you two talked, and I want to get to know my father-in-law.
Chandler: Look forget it okay? I dont want to go. I dont want to see him. I dont wanna.
Chandler: No-no all kids are embarrassed by their parents, youd have to come up with a whole new word for what I went through. When I was in High School, he used to come to all of my swim meets dressed as a different Hollywood starlet. Yknow its hard enough to be fourteen. Youre skinny. Youre wearing speedoesThat your mom promised that you would grow into! And you look up into the stands and theres your dad cheering you on dressed as Carmen Miranda. We was wearing a headdress with real fruit that he will later hand out to your friends as a healthy snack!
Chandler: Does it matter?!
Monica: Chandler, youre not fourteen anymore. Okay? Maybe its time that you let that stuff go. If your fathers not at your wedding youre gonna regret it for the rest of your life.
Joey: Well, when Jake did it I saw that he was wearing womens underwear!
Phoebe: No, its not! We were just goofing around and I dared him to try them on.
Ross: (shocked) You dont have a valid drivers licenseOkay that is it! Pull over right now!
Waiter in Drag: Youre straight. I get it. (Walks away.)
Chandler: Yeah, hes made phone calls, written letters, he even came to New York, but I always said I was too busy to see him. Yknow its all very Cats in the CradleI dont want to get into it. (The show starts.) Here we go.
(Theres applause as Helena turns around and its Kathleen Turner.)
Rachel: Oh yes, absolutely! Yknow, its weird uh, but I had a dream last night where I was stopped by a policeman. And then he uh well I probably shouldnt tell you the rest.
Rachel: (handing it to him) Yes. Here you go Officer uh, Handsome.
Ross: Here it comes.
Ross: Well she should, it was taken ten years ago!
Rachel: I knew it! I knew it, ahh .
Chandler: It cant happen like this. Okay? Ill meet you back at the hotel.
Joey: Check it out. (He turns around, pulls down his pants, and shows Phoebe that hes got panties on.) How much of a man am I?!
Phoebe: I think its important that you do.
Chandler: Wait! Wait! Wed really love it if you could be there.
Chandler: I know it would make me happy, maam.
Helena: Well I wouldnt miss it for the world. Oh! Im getting all misty here! Youd think I was having my legs waxed or something. (Goes back on stage.)
Helena: Before we go on with the show, I just want to say to the bride and groom how lucky they are to have found each other. In every life, a little rain must fall. Fortunately, in my life (Four guys wearing rubber boots, shorts, hats, and nothing else carrying umbrellas run onto the stage.) (Singing) Its raining men!
Helena: Its raining men!
Ross: Maybe its uh Sergeant Sagittarius coming back to flirt some more! (They pull over.)
Rachel: Its a different guy!
Ross: Ah no. I dont, but it could not have been more than sixty.
Policeman: Youre right. It was 37. (Rachel laughs.)
Policeman: Its Petty. (He grabs Rosss license.) Ill be right back with your ticket. (Walks back to his car.)
Joey: Oh! Maybe its because Im on television. Im an actor on Days of Our Lives.
Joey: Oh, let me get this. (He takes out his wallet, but the panties come with it. The woman and waitress are shocked.) (Realizing) (To the woman) These are for you.
Chandler: Buy it for ya, or win it for ya?
Joey: I dont want to talk about it. Yknow, you couldve at least saved me a whole cookie. (He grabs whats left of the cookie and pops in his mouth.)
Joey: All right, relax. Its just a shoe.
Phoebe: Oh, ok. Fine, I'll just, I'll take the hat back (she puts the hat in a bag and she crushes it angrily on the floor with her foot).
Chandler: Well, my apartment isnt there anymore, because I drank it.
Chandler: Nice going, imp. OK, it's OK. All I need to do is reach over and put it in my mouth. (Chandler slyly grabs the gum from the wall and slides it back in his mouth.)
Bonnie: Y'know what, I should do it.
Joey: Ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah! (He drapes it around his shoulders.) Enh? All right, what do you think?
Phoebe: If you wouldve let me finish, it goes on to say that hes probably not gay.
Bonnie: You wanna touch it?
Bonnie: Come on, touch it!
Ross: Nooo, but it, but its great.
(They all pause and think about it.)
Ross: Y'know, hey! Youre the one who ended it, remember?
Chandler: That was an obvious joke, and I didnt think of it. Why didnt I think of it? The source of all my powers. Oh dear God, what have I done!
CHANDLER: And twenty-five it is.
Ross: Well, eww. What? Is it a pimple?
Monica: You know, on the way over here, I saw this drunk guy throw up. And then a pigeon ate it!
Phoebe: It does! How would you feel if you couldnt share your cooking? Or-or imagine how Ross would feel if he couldnt teach us about dragons.
Ross: It was soo not an accident. She saw I was about to tag her, so she threw her big fat grandma arm elbow right into my face. And just keep running.
Chandler: (To Monica) Why? Why-why-would youWh-why (To Mr. Geller) Look, I just dont want you to think that were animals who do it whenever we want.
Ursula: Yeah! Yeah, its gonna be a small ceremony. Just family. (Phoebe looks at her.) His.
Rachel: Oh, making it worse!
Ross: Okay, each team will answer ten questions. The first team that answers the most questions wins. Okay, the categories are, Fears and Pet Peeves, Ancient History, Literature, and Its All Relative. Now, the coin toss to see who goes first. (He flips the coin and they all watch it hit the table and stop. Then they all look up at him, to see who goes first.) Okay, somebody call it this time.
Ross: Yeah, yeah. (opens the door) It wasnt every morning.
Guru Saj: We appear to have angered it.
Mr. Geller: Oh, yeah you loved that glove! You took it every place you went. You never went any place without that glove.
Sandy: Y'know, when I saw you at the store last week, it was probably the first time I ever mentally undressed an elf.
Monica: I dont know exactly. Its-its sorta like wrestling.
Ross: Its over.
Rachel: (makes some unintelligible sound to stop her from leaving) Obviously you know how to haggle, so I'm not gonna try and take you on. Okay? So $800 and I don't call the cops because you're robbing me blind! Blind! (Covers her eyes) Just take cat, leave the money, and run away! Run away! (Uncovers her eyes and sees that the woman has fled) Damnit! (To the cat) Cat, can't you at least smile or something?! (The cat hisses at her again, it sounds like Rachel) Okay, did anybody just hear that? Anybody?
Rachel: Oh, was it awful?
Chandler: Oh, I thought you were great in Silence of the Lambs. Oh come on, admit it! All things considered, you had fun tonight.
Rachel: Does it?
Rachel: So umm, does it?
Ross: Oh, is it? Is it? Look, when Monica and I were kids, we had a dog named Rover. And, uh, one day, my dad decides, he doesn't like dogs. So Monica and her friend Phyllis take away the dog. And that was the last time we ever saw him. Don't you see? This is just like that. Only with a few details changed.
Phoebe: Ohh. What is this? (She sees a tissue covering something, and moves to remove it.)
Monica: We're moving in a couple of days and we've got a lot of packing to do. It would be great if you guys could pitch in.
Monica: Its like two miles!
Monica: What?! What is it?!
Joey: Youre gonna have to pee on it.
(She goes to close the door, but Chandler puts his foot it in.)
Joey: (glances at Richard) No. Nope, I uh I thI thought it might be kind of a cool character thing. Yknow? Hes uh, hes a face toucher. (Behind his back, Richard is nodding no.)
Phoebe: Wow! And Im a vegetarian! All right, all right, well Im sorry, well put some ice on it.
Ross: (finding the part) (looks up in disgust) It so does not!!!
JOEY: Uhh, well, right now I'm in between things. You know how it is. One day you're processing, the next day you're not so much... processing any more.
Chandler: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you're right. (gets up right behind Joey and yells in his ear) Come on, do it, do it, go, come on!!!
Ross: Oh, Carol and I have a new system. If she punches in 911, it means she's having a baby, otherwise I just ignore it.
Joey: Well, it looks like it wasnt heeled after all! Yeah! So, I guess this chair is mine now! (Sits down in it and groans.)
Frank: Okay, but isnt sex better when its with one person that you really, really care about.
Chandler: (to Ross) Hey, so can you make it on Friday?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is watching TV, but turns it off, and Rachel is sleeping on the couch. Ross puts a blanket over her.]
Joey: (laughs) Thats cause sometimes I just do it through my wall to freak you out.
Phoebe: Nuh-uh! Theyre maternity pants. They even came with a list of baby names. (Pulls out a sheet of paper which lists whos been naughty and whos been nice.) See, these names are good, and these names are bad. (Finally, she figures it out.) Ohh.
Phoebe: Its not like we-we know each other or anything. Or that have anything in common.
Phoebe: Are you asking me out? Cause it would be kinda weird since you just broke up with my sister.
Phoebe Sr.: I knew it, wow!!
Joey: Relax Ross, we'll be ready. It only takes us two minutes to get dressed.
Phoebe: All right, stop it. Now youre just doing it to freak me out.
Ross: Look, you guys, you guys should go. (Joey tries to say something, but Ross cuts him off.) No, Im, you, you planned this all out, and I dont want to ruin it, so you guys should just go.
Carol: Its a little complicated.
Ross: And for the record, it took two people to break up this relationship!!
Phoebe: No! No!! Its me! Its me! I-I didnt want to make any noise!
MNCA: We'll put buckles on it.
Joshua: Well, I guess this is uh, I guess this is it.
Rachel: Yeah, and yknow what? I love them both, so why dont you just pick one and thatll be it.
Phoebe: Oh. It was a long shot. Hey, you guys can I just like have a second alone with the babies.
Joey: Look, were not throwing it out! I built this thing with my own hands!
Phoebe: But, its not like were losing anything. Y'know?
Krista: Oh, this is so good (A piece of cake.) you have got to try it. (She takes some on her finger and feeds it to Danny. Then takes a little more and does it again. Meanwhile, the rest of the gang stares on in shock. Then they pick up a part of it and some filling falls into his lap.)
(Chandler sticks out is tongue and its a horrible shade of green.)
CHAN: OK, what is it about me? Do I not look fun enough? Is there something. . . repellant. . . about me?
Chandler: Mr. D, hows it going, sir?
Rachel: (really excited) Great!! It was very, very nice to meet you sir--Ow! Hey! What are you doing?! Are you crazy! (He took out that thing they use to look at people's retinas and looked at Rachel's when she was shaking his hand causing her to flinch and scream at him.)
Ross: Why? Did you write it?
Joey: Its All Relative.
Chandler: You want it?
Ross: No-no, we talked about it. We dont want to know. All we care about is that its happy and healthy.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Ross are in the kitchen, Rachel and Monica are sitting in the living room, and Phoebe is, you guessed it, still on hold.]
Rachel: Okay, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Maybe it's not so bad. How did you leave it?
Monica: Well forget it! It doesnt hurt that (tries to take a step) baaad!!!!
Monica: We left Joey alone with the food! (Walks towards the window and looks out) Yep! Yep, I knew it! There he is... feeding stuffing to a dog!
Rachel: I believe it.
Chandler: Okay... (returning to the board) ..whose turn is it?
Monica: Oh, but its made her so happy.
Monica: Its actually going to be just family.
The Interviewer: So, thats it. I guess thats all I need. Thank you so much. I think they will be running this in the beginning of next month.
Ross: Its no surprise that your winning, cause you got to pick first, so you got the better team.
Monica: Okay, but all right youre a guy, does it not freak you that youre never gonna sleep with anybody else?
ROSS: So, ah . . . So, how was it?�� Uh, did you guys. . . Did you guys have a good time?
Rachel: Okay... Let me put it this way. Anything from Crabtree and Evelyn?
Voice: What is the name of your roommate who is very, very sorry and would do anything (Joey realizes its Chandler and hangs up the phone in anger.)
Monica: Joey, she was listing the countries shes done it in.
Phoebe: Oh, its Ross on one of his drives!
Rachel: Chandler gets it! Its Chandler Bing!
Rachel: Uh, yeah, well, see, he Joey knows, that I'm-I'm very insecure about my back and, and you're hugging me, so obviously you are not repulsed by it, yeah!
Phoebe: Yeah. But Sergei said it took the Germans six weeks to get all the way across it.
Young Ethan: Well, if that's what you kids are calling it these days then, yes I am. I uh, I've kinda been waiting for the right person.
JOEY: Becasue at first he thought it was Joseph. But after he asked Joseph about it, turns out it was you. Anyway, I just thought you should know.
Chandler: Okay, I promise, Ill end it.