words in movies
Chandler: I dont know what it is, I just cant take a good picture.
Ross: Its not a club.
Rachel: Phoebe, if this guys going through a divorce, is it such a good idea to start going out with him?
Rachel: I am not gonna get fired, because Im not gonna act on it.
(He gets up to make the copies leaving Rachel alone with his stuff. She notices his sweater in his backpack and holds it up to her nose as Melissa, a coworker, walks up.)
Melissa: Well, weve been flirting back and forth, but I was hoping that tonight it would turn into something a little more than that.
Chandler: Okay. (Youll have to see it, I cant describe the face he makes, but it isnt good.)
Joey: Great. (He doesnt like it.) You got anything thats not Ralph Lauren?
Joey: Huh, Rach I got to say its gonna take a lot of money for me to go out on a date with a dude.
Rachel: Joey, just-just he-hes new in town and I know he doesnt have any guy friends. Just take him to like a ball game or something. Ill really appreciate it.
Joey: Okay. (He grabs a jelly donut, takes a bite, and guess what he spills all over himself. He tries to clean it up and smears it all over the shirt.)
Monica: I know. Lets try a look of far off wonderment. Okay, well-well gaze into our future and well think about our marriage and the days to come. (Chandler is still not getting it.) Chandler! What is the matter with your face?! I mean this picture is supposed to say "Geller and Bing to be married," not "Local woman saves drowning moron!" (The photographer laughs.) Hey! Dont laugh at him! Hes my drowning moron!
Monica: Thats it! Take it! Take it! Take it!
Ross: I like this one. (Points to it.) It seems to say, "I love you and thats why I have to kill you."
Monica: They cant all be bad. (To Chandler) Find the one where you make your bedroom eyes. Ohh, there it is.
Hums While He Pees: I know its really lame, but I got these tickets from my boss andOh no! No! No! My God!
Hums While He Pees: No its Uh, my ex-wife Whitney is out there. I cannot deal with her right now. That woman is crazy!
Ross: Look, I dont think so Pheebs. (Pause) All right, Ill do it. But just because youre a friend. (Grabs the tickets and heads to divert Whitney.)
Phoebe: I dont have it!
Ross: Its right there! (Points to her hand.)
Ross: Oh yeahNoYoure welcome. Well talk about it later.
Joey: See? Thats a great smile! Easy. Natural. Now, pretend I have a camera. (Chandler immediately does The Face.) Youre changing it!
Chandler: I cant help it!
Joey: Okay, firstfirst of all, you want to make it look spontaneous. I look down (Looks down), look down, keep looking down; then I look up. (Looks up and smiles.) See? All right, now you try. Look down (Chandler looks down), youre looking down, keep looking down
Rachel: All right, would-would you mind just not going out with him again? Okay, just the idea of you and he and all these women, its justAnd I know hes my assistant and I cant date himbut it just bothers me, all right?!
Rachel: I just dont want him to meet anybody until I am over my crushAnd I will get over it. Its-its not like I love him, its just physical! ButI mean I get crushes like this all the time! I mean hell, I had a crush on you when I first met ya!
Tag: Its just not really who I am. Y'know, Ive always been happier when Why am I telling you this? You dont care about this stuff.
Tag: And if that person is already in your life, you should do something about it right?
Tag: All right then, its settled.
Rachel: (panics, turns around, picks up the phone, and pretend to talk on it) Hello?! (Listens) Oh, yeah! (To Tag) This is gonna be a while. Excuse me. (Tag leaves and she closes the door behind him, disgustedly.) Yeah!
Ross: Oh just say it Kyle!
Kyle: Were gonna give it another try.
Ross: It makes him miss the bowl, but whatever.
Ross: Thats all right, we-we dont need you. In fact, hey Im over it already.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey are there as Monica enters with the local paper that has the engagement picture in it.]
Monica: Hey guys check it out! My mom sent me the paper!
Phoebe: Ooh, lets see it!
Monica: Okay. (She opens it up and shows it to them.)
Cassie: It took you that long to figure it out, huh?
Phoebe: Its so weird, I have never been fired from anything before!
Joey: Well maybe we just take that one away. (Picks it up and throws it away.)
Rachel: All right listen umm, I just bought something I'm not sure she's gonna like it, and it's gonna seem a little crazy, but this is something that I wanted since I was a little girl.
Monica: Well, its done about two minutes before it looks like that.
Rachel: OH MY GOD!!! (She holds her hands up in triumph and the gang all look at her.) Sorry, I was just imagining what itd be like to catch the money bouquet.
Ross: The Armadillo was actually not so thrilled about that part! Okay Ben, its time to light the Hanukkah candles! (Santa, Superman, Monica, Ben, and the Holiday Armadillo go over to the menorah to light the candles.)
Monica: Well no wait a minute thats not true! No, what did, that was really sweet. And it kinda works out for the best.
Rachel: Yes! Great! Give me those cigs! Give it! Give it! (She grabs their cigarettes and lighters and throws them in the trash.)
Ross: So its really a question of who could you have possibly done.
Sandy: It's allright! Crying is good. It lets the boo-hoos out.
Monica: (again, lying) Im gonna go into the bathroom so I can look at it in the mirror, as I eat it.
Joey: It was, yeah. I kind of don't want it to end. Hey, you wanna come in for a drink and a bite of corsage?
Chandler: Mr. and Mrs. Geller, you look wonderful, it is great to have you hear, let us take off your coats!
Rachel: Oh no-no, no! Its good! Its all good! I-I actually work at Ralph Lauren!
Rachel: Its not a big deal!
Phoebe: Ah-hah! At least we know its a him.
Rachel: Stop picturing it!!
Joey: I don't know. We're talking about whipped fish, Monica. I'm just happy I'm keeping it down, y'know?
Chandler: Thats still yours. Okay, now remember its a surprise party. So, when you go in, act surprised.
Ross: Oh well, it sounds to me like your family is ready to uh, rediscover its Scottish roots.
Rachel: Its a pretty cool tux.
Joey: Hey. (Laughs then seriously) It happened!
Phoebe: Okay, it just seems pretty wild and youre soyknow so vanilla.
Rachel: Yeah, why is it so hard for you to believe?!
Rachel: Oh I dont know honey. Its gonna be really late.
Frank: They musta read the sonogram wrong. 'Cause they, 'cause they thought it was a boy, but Chandler's a girl! Chandler's a girl!
Monica: They wouldnt have put it there if it didnt do something! How can you not care?
Joey: Well, she and I said from the beginning that we weren't gonna do anything unless you were okay with it. And clearly..
Monica: Oh thats too bad. Its true, but too bad.
Chandler: Look, its my wedding day okay? If you were getting married I would never do anything to upset you.
Rachel: Thats it? Well I saw that! Ohh-ohh-oh, thank you.
Chandler: Math!! Youre giving me math! All right, look y'know what, forget about it, you go for the girl, well see who gets her.
Chandler: (on phone) Yes, Fran. I know what time it is, but I'm looking at the WENUS and I'm not happy!
Rachel: Oh, with the mother, just... just constantly tell her how amazing her son is. Take it from me, moms love me. Ross's mom one time actually said I'm like the daughter that she never had.
Rachel: So it seemed that my prom date had stood me up, so Ross selflessly, offered to take me.
Joey: Right. Right. The wedding, gotcha. But I mean, its gonna start a little late right? I mean, weddings start late. Right?
Ross: Yes. I find it to be something of a conversation piece.
Chandler: (standing up) Let me try it on!
Ross: What are you kidding? Its Batmans tux!!
Chandler: Hey, I'm sorry, I should have given you guys my black book when I got married! Although it wasn't so much a book as a... napkin. With Janice's phone number on it.
Rachel: It happened! I am telling you it happened!
Chandler: The reason we didn't tell anyone was because we didn't want to make a big deal out of it.
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Well, its better than us deciding.
Chandler: Whose is it?
Joey: Boy, it was so hard not to laugh, I tell ya. Hey, hey, the place looks great!
Chandler: Whose is it?
Chandler: Oh, come on! I dont care! Come on! Whose is it?
Ross: Let me see that! (Grabs the invitation and reads it.) Oh man!
Monica: Hold it! Are you talking about Dick Clarks New Years Rocking Eve?
Chandler: So, why is she leaving? Is it a school night and she has a lot of homework to do?
Monica: Its kind of an important one!
Chandler: Oh, yknow-yknow what, I was looking at it upside down.
Ross: The only thing I understand is; postponing it is not an option. This is when were getting married.
Chandler: Do you think that theres a town in Missouri or some place called Sample? And ah, as youre driving into town theres-theres like a sign, and it says Youre in Sample. (He says it like urine sample.)
Joey: Oh, I got it! How about saying something like, "Monica
Mr. Geller: Oh, well, I, I guess it musta been the day after you were born. We were in the hospital room, your mother was asleep, and they brought you in and gave you to me. You were this ugly little red thing, and all of a sudden you grabbed my finger with your whole fist. And you squeezed it, so tight. And that's when I knew.
Chandler: No I don't! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
Monica: All right thats it, I give up! Whatever you want you can have it! You wanna sing a song? You wanna do a dance? You want your mom stand at the Alter and scream racial slurs? I dont care!
Monica: You wanted it to be a surprise.
Rachel: Oh good. (She walks to the closed bathroom door, opens it, and finds a naked woman wrapped in a towel.) Ahhh! My God, sorry! (She closes the door and confronts Joey.)
Joey: (yelling through the door) Can we come it yet?! Were dying out here!
Ross: Oh! (Does a laugh/groan.) Listen umm, I, I just stopped by to see if you wanted to see this play tonight. Umm, its supposed to be excellent. The director is the same
Joey: (shocked) Has it been that long?!
Joey: Uh listen, heres your Soapie. I accepted it for ya. (Hands it to her.)
(Joey thinks it over.)
Phoebe: Okay, so Im done my part, okay. Its your responsibility now, okay. The burden is off me, right?
Joey: I know! I mean its not like we werent cool about it.
Chandler: It happened in London.
Joey: But it is a big deal!! I have to tell someone!
Phoebe: NO! THEY'RE DOING IT!!!
Chandler: Oh come on guys, its not like I moved to Europe! I just moved across the hall! And we would have you over all the time if it werent for (struggles to get this out) Monicas allergies. (The duck quacks.) Youre right, I could never lie to you. She hates you. (The phone rings.) Should I get that? (Laughs, then answers the phone.) Hello? (Listens) Uh no, Joeys not here right now. Can I take a message? (Listens) Yeah, okay so the audition has been moved from 5:00 to 2:30? (Listens) Okay great. (Listens.) Bye. (Hangs up the phone and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle on the door but Monica walks in and forces him to jump out of the way.)
Rachel: (angrily) GIVE ME THE BOOK! (she takes it and start reading) Pablo Diaz, Brady Smith, huh, "Guy-in-van"?
Phoebe: Yes. Yes! Fine! I am someone! You want me to say it? I have doubts! (Pause) I'm sorry! (Puts her head down.)
Phoebe: Here it comes. Our first kiss.
Joey: So that's it! It's over! Everybody knows!
Rachel: You really think it would be that different?
Phoebe: Yknow, youre friends getting married, its gotta change things.
Ross: Itll be okay Joe.
Joey: What? I dont get it.
Chandler: You really like it?
Rachel: (shocked) You let Joey drive it?!
Joey: Yeah! Yeah Monica! You listen to me, okay? And Im not just saying this because Im your friend, Im sayin it cause its the truth. Youre food is abysmal!
Chandler: Y'know what, it doesnt matter, cause she picked me. Me! From now on I get the dates and you have to stay home on Saturday nights watching Ready, Set, Cook!
Ross: Look, its just did, did you ever go to a party and think, "Would really anyone miss me if I werent here?"
Rachel: Yeah, maybe if you gave this girl a chance it would go somewhere.
Monica: Its your suitcase. Were going to Las Vegas.
Evil Bitch: See? See? It was because you were looking fat pervert!
Chandler: Does it matter?!
Phoebe: Yes! A friend of mine did it and its totally legal!
Kate: Oh, yeah. I love Jennifer Van Murrays work. Shes so brilliantly incisive when it comes to deconstructing the psyche of the American middle class.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, the middle of the night, there is someone knocking on the door and Monica and Chandler get up to answer it.]
Waiter in Drag: Youre straight. I get it. (Walks away.)
Phoebe: And then you say that it's almost midnight and you have to go because you don't wanna start the new year with me if you can't finish it. (They kiss) I'm gonna miss you. You scientist guy.
Chandler: Yeah, listen, how cold is it going to be there? Do I need a coat or will all these sweater vests be enough? (Holds up 3 of them in different colors.)
Ross: Here it comes.
Ross: Well she should, it was taken ten years ago!
Rachel: I knew it! I knew it, ahh .
Rachel: Here we go. Im serving my last cup of coffee. (the gang starts humming the graduation theme) There you go. (hands it to Chandler) Enjoy. (they all cheer)
ROSS: The point is I... I don't need this right now, OK. It, it's too late, I'm with somebody else, I'm happy. This ship has sailed.