words in movies
Chandler: I dont know what it is, I just cant take a good picture.
Ross: Its not a club.
Rachel: Phoebe, if this guys going through a divorce, is it such a good idea to start going out with him?
Rachel: I am not gonna get fired, because Im not gonna act on it.
(He gets up to make the copies leaving Rachel alone with his stuff. She notices his sweater in his backpack and holds it up to her nose as Melissa, a coworker, walks up.)
Melissa: Well, weve been flirting back and forth, but I was hoping that tonight it would turn into something a little more than that.
Chandler: Okay. (Youll have to see it, I cant describe the face he makes, but it isnt good.)
Joey: Great. (He doesnt like it.) You got anything thats not Ralph Lauren?
Joey: Huh, Rach I got to say its gonna take a lot of money for me to go out on a date with a dude.
Rachel: Joey, just-just he-hes new in town and I know he doesnt have any guy friends. Just take him to like a ball game or something. Ill really appreciate it.
Joey: Okay. (He grabs a jelly donut, takes a bite, and guess what he spills all over himself. He tries to clean it up and smears it all over the shirt.)
Monica: I know. Lets try a look of far off wonderment. Okay, well-well gaze into our future and well think about our marriage and the days to come. (Chandler is still not getting it.) Chandler! What is the matter with your face?! I mean this picture is supposed to say "Geller and Bing to be married," not "Local woman saves drowning moron!" (The photographer laughs.) Hey! Dont laugh at him! Hes my drowning moron!
Monica: Thats it! Take it! Take it! Take it!
Ross: I like this one. (Points to it.) It seems to say, "I love you and thats why I have to kill you."
Monica: They cant all be bad. (To Chandler) Find the one where you make your bedroom eyes. Ohh, there it is.
Hums While He Pees: I know its really lame, but I got these tickets from my boss andOh no! No! No! My God!
Hums While He Pees: No its Uh, my ex-wife Whitney is out there. I cannot deal with her right now. That woman is crazy!
Ross: Look, I dont think so Pheebs. (Pause) All right, Ill do it. But just because youre a friend. (Grabs the tickets and heads to divert Whitney.)
Phoebe: I dont have it!
Ross: Its right there! (Points to her hand.)
Ross: Oh yeahNoYoure welcome. Well talk about it later.
Joey: See? Thats a great smile! Easy. Natural. Now, pretend I have a camera. (Chandler immediately does The Face.) Youre changing it!
Chandler: I cant help it!
Joey: Okay, firstfirst of all, you want to make it look spontaneous. I look down (Looks down), look down, keep looking down; then I look up. (Looks up and smiles.) See? All right, now you try. Look down (Chandler looks down), youre looking down, keep looking down
Rachel: All right, would-would you mind just not going out with him again? Okay, just the idea of you and he and all these women, its justAnd I know hes my assistant and I cant date himbut it just bothers me, all right?!
Rachel: I just dont want him to meet anybody until I am over my crushAnd I will get over it. Its-its not like I love him, its just physical! ButI mean I get crushes like this all the time! I mean hell, I had a crush on you when I first met ya!
Tag: Its just not really who I am. Y'know, Ive always been happier when Why am I telling you this? You dont care about this stuff.
Tag: And if that person is already in your life, you should do something about it right?
Tag: All right then, its settled.
Rachel: (panics, turns around, picks up the phone, and pretend to talk on it) Hello?! (Listens) Oh, yeah! (To Tag) This is gonna be a while. Excuse me. (Tag leaves and she closes the door behind him, disgustedly.) Yeah!
Ross: Oh just say it Kyle!
Kyle: Were gonna give it another try.
Ross: It makes him miss the bowl, but whatever.
Ross: Thats all right, we-we dont need you. In fact, hey Im over it already.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey are there as Monica enters with the local paper that has the engagement picture in it.]
Monica: Hey guys check it out! My mom sent me the paper!
Phoebe: Ooh, lets see it!
Monica: Okay. (She opens it up and shows it to them.)
Rachel: Oh, please tell me its not because Im going with Mark.
[Scene: The park, its dark outside and Monica and Ross are still fighting over the ball.]
JOEY: Hey Phoebs, if you want, I'll do it.
MRS. GELLER: It seems your daughter and Richard are something of an item.
Ross: I know! Anyway, they asked me to be a guest lecturer! I mean its temporary, but uh, if they like me it could lead to a full time job. How great would that look great on a mailbox, huh? "Professor Geller."
Joey: (on TV, finishing installing the Milk Master 2000) Wow, it is easy. (starts to poor the milk) Now, I can have milk everyday.
JOEY: Seriously, you like it? This guy was sellin' them on 8th avenue and I looked at 'em and I though, you know what I don't have?
(They start to kiss, and Ross rushes into the office to break it up.)
MONICA: I can't believe that this whole time we thought he hated us. I mean, isn't it amazing how much you can touch someone's life, without even knowing it?...Would you look at this dump? He hated us. This is his final revenge!
(We the guys knock on the door upstairs, and the guy answering it.)
(Phoebe takes a bite and spits it out and screams.)
Joey: Hey. I just saw a woman breast feeding both of her twins at the same time; it is like a freak show up here. (Notices shes wiping her eyes.) Whats the matter?
Phoebe: Thankfully you dont need me at all (gets up and to leave) so Okay Super aunt see you later! Rachel lets give it six to eight months (she leaves).
Ross: First of all its Professor Pittain! And second of all, that little bone, proved that, that particular dinosaur had wings, but didnt fly.
MONICA: No I didn't, I said kiwi lime. That's what makes it so special.
Chandler: so then the farmer says, "Thats not a cow and youre not milking it." (Everyone laughs.)
Rachel: (in triumph) I got a touchdown! We did it!!
MONICA: My stock, MEG, it went up 2 points. Hey guys, do you realize that if I had invested my $127 in myself yesterday that I'd like have...a lot more than that today. Ya know what, I'm gonna do it.
Leslie: No, no, I dont want to forget it.
Gunther: They already do. Thats why they call it the tray spot.
Monica: Wow! Its like Rachel in High School.
Ross: Absolutely. (Very Squeaky.) I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, (deep voice) I'm fine. I'm not saying I wasn't a little surprised to see you guys kissing. I mean, at first I was like.. (Screams.) But now that I've had time to absorb it; Lovin' this.
Ross: Oh, I uh, hope you don't mind, I kinda uh, jazzed it up a little. Check this out. (He plays the greeting, and We Will Rock You starts to play and Ross's voice comes over it.) We will, we will, call you back!
Rachel: Yeah. Yeah. Definitely, well it definitely took me by surprise, but Im okay.
Monica: Wow! Its small.
Chandler: Well, thanks. I grow it myself. (Kathy is running her fingers through his hair, and Chandler catches himself enjoying it too much.) Yknow who also has great hair is Joey!
Phoebe: (pointing to the globe) See there it is right there.
Chandler: Youve got it. (he starts to look at his sisters, but he still doesnt know which one is Mary-Angela.)
Monica: If it is a new message, what is he calling to say?
Gary: Hey Joe does it have meatballs on it?
Phoebe: Oh-ooh, and I brought Operation, but umm I lost the umm (It starts buzzing) Its making a noise.
Ross: (loudly so that everyone can hear) Hey lady! I don't care how much you want it! Okay?! I am not gonna to have sex with you in the bathroom! (Rachel sinks lower on her chair trying to hide.)
Chandler: What time is it now?
Joey: I can't believe it, Ross. This sucks!
Rachel: I know! I know, she says its all mass-produced, nothing is authentic, and everyone winds up having the same stuff. (Ross looks at his table.) So come on, shes gonna be here any second! Can we please just cover this up with something?! Please?
Ross: Look, you guys I just wanna say, I really, really appreciate you spending this time with me. Its been a pretty hard time right now, so I just wanna say thanks.
Chandler: It’s perfect. It’s everything we’ve been looking for.
Chandler: This teramisu is, is excellent. Did you make it Mary-Angela?
TRAINER: Hey don't take it personal, he's under a lot of pressure, ya know, starring in a movie and all.
Ross: Look, weve been together. Okay? And then apart, and then together, and then apart, and now we have a baby. (Pause) Its just if-if we got together again and it didnt work out I could never do that to Emma. I mean she-she thinking everything(Starts to cry.) Oh thats now me. What do they put something in the water in this place? Since Rachel and I were doing really, were doing really well right now.
Monica: Would you let it go? It's not that big a deal.
Ross: Okay, its not, its not.
Joey: Itll be great for next weekend. I mean, (in an Irish accent) itll be grrreat.
Ross: No I-I-I would love to be around for you and the baby. And we-we can just try it like on a temporary basis.
Laura: Oh, it's nothing. I went on a date with a guy who lived in this building and it didn't end very well.
Joey: Look, I know I feel asleep before I could shower and now I dont have time! Theyre just ten blocks away, if I run, I can make it.
Ross: No, no, no just do it. Go in there and pick something out so we can go.
Joey: Well, I guess he says that because they were on a break when it happened, that she should of forgiven him by now.
Chandler: Pheebs, can you help me pick out an engagement ring for Monica? I cant figure this out! Its so hard! Should I get her a (turning to each page) Tiffany cut or a Princess cut or aah-ah! Paper cut!
Mark: Oh, hi. Its Mark.
Mark: Its for me.
Ross: Oh, please. Sweetie its hopeless, okay, Im just gonna go. (starts to leave rubbing his neck)
Ross: Hi! Its me.
(The phone rings and Rachel answers it.)
JOEY: Right, I go-, I got it.
Rachel: Well can we see it?! Oh maybe we shouldnt. I mean if she just died this morning out of respect.
RACHEL: It is our first official date. Our first date.
Chandler: Oh I do! Op, no, wait a minute, I took it out of my shirt when I put it on this morning.
Joey: Well, Ive just never seen a guy stare so hard at a piece of paper that didnt have naked chicks on it.
CHANDLER: Yeah, yeah. Some people said some nice things about him. I think somebody should have it.
Phoebe: Its Joey! (Joey turns and looks at her and she mouths I love you to him.)
Ross: Okay, its not, its not.
Chandler: (To Joey) We didnt get to the audition. Im gonna take her to coffee and then well do it then.
DIRECTOR'S ASSISTANT: Is it bad?
Phoebe: Umm, no, it's a purse. And there's a thermos in it.
Ross: Yeah! Got it! (slams down the phone)
Joey: Okay. Well, if that's how you feel about it, fine! None of you get to live with me in my great big hand-shaped mansion! Except uh, you Pheebs. You can live in the thumb.
Rachel: Yeah, but its okay, because when Ross left Mark came over.
ROSS: Oh, oh my God, is this the wrong day? I don't believe it, uh, well, hey, I guess if it works out we'll, we'll have something to tell the grandkids.
Ross: Chloe, Chloe hows it coming?!!
Ross: (quietly) That-that would be incredible. Thank you so much. I-I still can't believe someone ate it!! I mean, look, I left a note and everything.
Monica: Oh, theres banana on it.
Monica: Yes! Have you seen it?
Rachel: I'm not crazy, right? I mean, it was never like that.
Monica: Come on! Come on, I was kidding! It was such an obvious joke!
Phoebe: Im sorry, okay, I-I wasnt looking, and the store says that they wont take it back because you signed for it...
Chandler: Okay, okay-okay, ah, Chloe works with that guy Issac. Issacs sister is Jasmine. And Jasmine works at that message place with Phoebe. And Phoebes friends with Rachel. And thats the trail, I did it!
Phoebe: Was it not pain-free?
MONICA: Oh, gosh, this is so weird. I mean, his whole life was in this apartment, and now it's gone. You know, I think it would be nice if we just took a few moments, for Mr. Heckles. I mean, he was kind of a pain, he was, but, he was a person. You're all going to hell.
Ross: Just you keep it, listen did you, did you tell anyone about us?
Monica: Its okay, its okay.
Joey: Uh, if I may? Umm-umm look, Cliff, you told me a lot of personal stuff about you, right? And maybe-maybe it would if-if would help if-if you knew some personal stuff about her. Uh, she was married to a gay ice dancer. Uh, she gave birth to her brothers triplets. Oh! Oh! Her-her twin sister used to do porn!
Joey: Okay, fine, so now what, I just pull it off?
Phoebe: Aw, honey its not your fault, y'know this is who you are, and I love you, and I want us to be friends, and if I keep living here I dont see that happening.
Ross: No, it was a mistake! I made a mistake! Okay?
Ross: Yeah, uh, except for the red sock, which is still red. I'm sorry, please don't be upset, it could happen to anyone.
Chandler: At least let me smoke it to the good part.
Rachel: What, whats it, whats going on?
Ross: (realizes something) The photo album! There were millions of pictures of the apartment in the photo album. We just go through it and match everything to the pictures.
Erica: Yeah. It's a sonogram they took of the baby last week. I thought you might want to see it. (gives it to Monica, who looks at it for a long time, and then shows it to Chandler)
Rachel: Oo, I cant watch this, its like Sophies Choice.
Carol: Its not that kind of anniversary.
Rachel: Now you're probably going to hire one of the people who did not ah, (She puts her hands on his desk blotter and he moves it. Rachel then doesn't know where to put her hands.) who did, who did not umm, yell at you and storm out, and I think that's a big mistake and here's why. I made a huge fool of myself and I came back, that shows courage. When I thought you wanted sex in exchange for this job, I said no. That shows integrity. And, I was not afraid to stand up for myself and that shows courage. (Suddenly realizes that she said courage twice.) Okay umm, now I know I already said courage, but y'know you gotta have courage. And umm, and finally when I thought you were making sexual advances in the workplace, I said no and I was not litigious. {By the way, litigious means to want to litigate and litigate is to make a lawsuit against. So she didn't want to sue him. Don't worry, I had to look it up too.} So there you go, you got, you got (counts them off with her fingers) courage, you got integrity, you got (Pause) courage again, and not litigious. Look Mr
[Scene: Howard's party, Phoebe is talking Ross up to two more partygoers. Ross isn't happy about it.]
Jason: ...and I know I'll never miss doing it, but I gotta tell you, it's pretty cool knowing that you're making a difference in a kid's life.
Rachel: Ooh, it was only okay.
Rachel: Well it happened about six weeks ago, and uh I had just got home from work and Ross was already there cause I guess he had been hanging out with Joey.
Ross: Oh see, before you uh, when you showed it to me you-you held it that way (he turns her hand upside down) which uh, which was misleading. Well Im (He goes at sits down at his new table and the kids stare at him.) Hello.
Ross: Oh yeah it will! Come on, up! Up-up-up! Up! Yes! Here we go! Pivot! (They start up the stairs again. Chandler is between the couch and the wall now.) Pivot! Piv-ot! Piv-et!! Piv-ett!!! Piv-et!
Joey: What is the big deal? Its not like were exclusive.