words in movies
(She starts pushing the power button on the remote, but it's not facing the TV so it doesn't work.)
Monica: Phoebe, you have to lift it and point.
Phoebe: Oh. Aw, forget it.
Joey: I mean, it's not so much an underpant as it is a feat of engineering. I mean, it's amazing how much they can do with so little material! And the way they play with your mind! Is it there? Is it not there?
Joey: Oh, come on! I wanna hear it! It wouldn't be Thanksgiving without Chandler bumming us out!
Chandler: It's a tradition, like the parade. If the parade decided it was gay, moved out, and abandoned its entire family.
Mrs. Bing: Now Chandler dear, just because your father and I are getting a divorce it doesn't mean we don't love you. It just means he would rather sleep with the house-boy than me.
Joey: Man, it must be so cool remembering stuff like that! I don't have any past life memories.
Joey: Hey, it's not like it sounds.
Chandler: It's exactly like it sounds.
Phoebe: (walks him to the kitchen) Easy. Step. How did it get on?
Joey: I put it on to scare Chandler!
Joey: Well then help me get it off! Plus, it smells really bad in here.
Phoebe: Well, of course it smells really bad. You have your head up a dead animal.
(They hear Monica trying to unlock the door. So Phoebe quickly pushes his head down onto the table to make it look like the turkey is just sitting on a platter and not stuck on Joey's head.)
Monica: Well, get it off now!
Monica: Well, I don't care! That-that turkey has to feed 20 people at my parent's house and they're not gonna eat it off your head!
(They all start thinking. Joey starts rubbing his chin, of course his chin is currently inside the turkey so he ends up rubbing the turkey. And I didn't do that joke one bit of justice. It's one of those you have to see it to get it jokes.)
Monica: Okay, I got it. Phoebe? All right, you pull. I'm gonna spread the legs as wide as I can. (Joey starts giggling.) Joey? Now is not the time!
Joey: (pointing) It worked! I scared ya, I knew it! Ha-ha!
Joey: Hey, I wasn't the only one who looked like an idiot. All right? Remember when Ross tried to say, "Butternut squash?" And it came out, "Squatternut buash?"
Monica: That's it. That's my worse Thanksgiving.
Phoebe: Oh wait! That can't be the one Rachel's talking about. She didn't even know that happened. So which one was it?
Monica: I'll get it! (She runs in, and she's her old fat self like The One With The Prom Video. Not only that, she's out of breath after running a short distance. She goes over and opens the door to reveal Rachel with her old nose.) Happy Thanksgiving!
Big Nosed Rachel: Okay, Monica, can you just call it sex?! It really creeps me out when you call it that! Okay, and by the way, while we're at it, a guy's thing is not called his tenderness. Believe me! (Walks into the living room and greets Monica's parents.) Hi!
(He brought home Chandler for Thanksgiving. Chandler is sporting the very popular Flock of Seagulls haircut. Yeah, it's another you have to see it to believe it kinda thing.)
Chandler: Well, as long as the pilgrims didn't eat it, I'm in.
Ross: So uh, Rach? Does it, does it feel weird around here now? Y'know since I've been away at college.
Big Nosed Rachel: Y'know what? I've just had it with high school boys! They are just silly. (Ross is overhearing this.) Silly, stupid boys! I'm going to start dating men!
Chandler: Oh yeah, it was great. You should be a chef.
Fat Monica: Oh gosh, listen if you and Chip do it tonight, promise me you'll tell me everything.
Big Nosed Rachel: Oh totally, totally. Y'know it's not that big of deal, we already kinda did it once y'know.
Fat Monica: I know, but y'know, this time you're gonna definitely know whether or not you did it!
Big Nosed Rachel: I know, I know. And oh, and this time Chip promised that-that this time it will last at least for an entire song!
Mr. Geller: Well Judy, you did it! She's finally full!
Monica: Yes, it was!
Rachel: No, it wasn't. It was actually the
Mrs. Geller: I'll get it.
Ross: Oh mom! Okay, umm, her name is Carol. And she's really pretty. And smart. And uh, she's-she's on the lacrosse team and the golf team. Can you believe it? She plays for both teams!
Monica: Well it didn't!
Rachel: Okay, first of all, if you keep calling it that, no one's gonna ever take it. Then, second of all you're not actually gonna have sex with him! You're just gonna make him think that you are.
Rachel: Well, like anything can be sexy. Like umm, oh-oh, like this dishtowel! (She grabs it and starts rubbing it on her cheek.) Ooh, ooh, this feels sooo good against my cheek! And-and if I feel a little hot, I can just dab myself with it. Or I can bring it down to my side and bring it through my fingers while I talk to him.
Monica: Oh yeah, of course. I'm fine it's just that(She drops the box and in a reflex action tries to catch it with her arm, the knife slips out and slowly flips through the air and comes point first down into Chandler's shoe.)
Ross: Can you please not do that feet first? You know where his injury is! Severed toe, you just said it!
The Doctor: It says here that the knife went right through your shoe.
Mr. Geller: Of course it did. They're made of wicker.
Monica: Oh yes! I have it right here, on ice! (She takes a bag of ice out of her purse and hands it to the doctor.)
The Doctor: (opening it) Don't worry son, we'll just attach it and(Stops suddenly.)
Monica: What?! What is it?
Monica: God, I'm sorry! I'll go back and get it!
Monica: I didn't mean to cut it off. It was an accident.
Monica: I'm sorry! It wasn't your whole toe!
Chandler: Yeah, well, I miss the tip! It's the best part. It has the nail. (He storms out.)
Chandler: Yeah, well, sorry doesnt bring back the little piggy that cried all the way home! I hate this stupid day! And everything about it! I'll see you later.
(There's a knock on the door and Chandler gets up to answer it. He opens the door to reveal Monica with a turkey over her head.)
Chandler: No I don't! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
[Scene: The Western front during World War I, Phoebe, in yet another past life, is once again a nurse tending to yet another dying soldier. But this time she's doing it with a French accent.]
Phoebe: Well its justits one of those situations that I just hate. Yknow? A massage client gave me three tickets to the Helmet-Pelts exhibit at the Morgan Chase museum.
Chandler: All right, that's it, give me your underwear.
Mr. Waltham: Its the Gellers!
Joey: Whats in it?
Joey: Uh-huh. This and a bunch of bubble wrap. And, some of it is not even popped!
Ross: All right! All right! It was the best nap ever!
Chandler: Yeah. I know it must be important to you when you start chattering like a monkey.
Ticket Agent: Well you can split it with another credit card.
Dr. Rhodes: Wait a minute, hold it. (He goes to the door and opens it.) Johnson! Will you come in here a moment?
Ross: Hey! You were a closed book! Okay? Im not a mind reader! Besides, I hate those conversations. Im horrible at them. Really! Maybe-maybe I need kind of a gesture. Yknow, something that says were moving forward without having to talk about it.
Mr. Geller: This bill for my half of the wedding. its insane.
Ross: (They kiss and the phone rings and machine picks it up, its Ross putting on an accent pretending to be Vicrum) This is Vicrum.
Ross: Rachel says sharing's great and supposedly, you know, we outta be doing it. Do you wanna?
Rachel: Oh, no-no-no, no-no-no, it has become, it hasyeah. Oh no, those were four great dates.
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Phoebe is walking up and notices a car that is parked half on the curb and right in front of the door, making it difficult for people to enter Central Perk.]
Monica: Then why would he say it?
Ross: Oh! You are gonna love it! (The girl is looking in the other direction as Ross is taking off his own coat, revealing the pink and white ladies shirt) and I'm so glad, we're finally doing this.
RACHEL: Oh please. That Paolo thing was barely a relationship. All it really was was just, ya know, meaningless animal sex. Ok, ya know, that sounded soooo much better in my head.
ROSS: Oh OK. Well then why don't you, uhh, why don't you borrow it from mom and dad? You feel guilty and tense around them already. You might as well make some money off of them.
Phoebe: Hey, that’s not fair! A person’s wedding is important! And especially to me! Ok? I didn’t have a graduation party! And I didn’t go to Prom. And I spent my sweet sixteen being chased round a tire yard by an escaped mental patient who is his own words wanted to “kill me” or whatever. So I deserve a real celebration and I am not gonna let some sweaty little man make me feel badly about it.( She storms out)
Monica:: Honey why don't you just let it go and ask her out again.
RACHEL: They had to reduce it because of, of my deviated septum.
Chandler: Hey! Wow, it is true what they say, pregnant bellies look like a drum.
Monica: Well, I love it. I only hope my wedding looks this good.
Mrs. Waltham: I know, its horrible isnt it?
Chandler: Oh yea, your right. Its the second one.
Monica: Okay, does it involve something to do with Petes computer company?
Joey: Uh, y'know what, were having second thoughts about our copying needs. And well need a little more time to think about it.
Carol: This is impossible. Its just impossible.
Monica: No, look, she's obviously unstable, okay? I mean she's thinking about running out on her wedding day. (Rachel slowly turns and glares at her.) (Realizing what she just said.) Okay, fine! But I mean, look at the position she's putting him in! What's he gonna do? Ross is gonna run over there on the wedding day and break up the marriage?! I mean, who would do that?! (Rachel again turns and glares at her in disgust.) Okay, fine, all right, but that's y'know, it's different! Although it did involve a lot of the same people.
Ross: Look, were down to just one point. Could we please, maybe just settle it after the wedding.
Danielle: You got it.
Joey: Yeah, but for a one-year-old. What's the point... the other day she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow and the cow says "El-moo"! (Joey starts laughing) Yeah... that's a funny cup!
The Saleslady: Yes! I have it right here. (Phoebe and Monica both gasp at the dress.) Would you like to try it on Ms. Waltham?
Alice: Oh no, but when it comes to love, what does age matter?
Ross: I have been down in your store for twenty minutes trying to get a tie! What do I have to do to get some service?! (turns to Rachel) Hi Rach. (He's puts his hand on her shoulder and she knocks it away.)
Phoebe: Really?! I looked into that. Yeah, but, I mean it costs like $60,000 and yknow you can die. And, you would die!
Rachel: Oh, look at the little cat! [a small kitten is on the roof behind Ross] Look at it!
Ross: (laughs) That uh, that was pretty funny. Wasnt it?
Carol: Y'know what, I want to talk to you about this so much, but we should probably do it when we could really get into it, are you free for dinner tomorrow night?
Chandler: It couldve been worse, he couldve shot her.
Emily: (Yelling from inside the bathroom) Youve spoiled everything! Its like a nightmare! My friends and family are out there! How can I face them?! How can you do this to me?!
(Mrs. Walthams phone rings and she answers it.)
Chandler: Uh, Joey is gonna be right back. Right back! (Tries to pantomime it for her.) Meanwhile, let's-let's-let's talk about you. (Pause.) So, you're old and small.
Rachel: Hey, how'd it go?
Phoebe: No. No. Its just I was umm, I was with Ross and Jill after you left and umm, Im pretty sure I saw a little spark between them.
Chandler: Forget it, thats off.
Ross: Oh no! It could be better, but its gonna be okay, right?
Joey: Hey, (realises he doesnt know her name.) stripper! (He notices that the ring box is open, so he picks it up, sees its empty and starts to panic.)
Rachel: Oh, like I wasn't dreading tomorrow enough, having to give it back to him... 'Hi Barry! Remember me? I'm the girl in the veil who stomped on your heart in front of your entire family!' Oh God and now I'm gonna have to return the ring, without the ring, which makes it so much harder...
Ross: Does that mean the same thing in England as it does in America?
Phoebe: Well, I heard youre having a problem with one of the boys in your class. And so I thought I would just come down here and sit you both down, have a little talk and make it all okay. Now umm, the boys name is Stings son.
Rachel: Hello? Oh, Pheebs! (To them) Its Phoebe!
(Ross and Emily make it to the lobby.)
Monica: Well, its getting late.
Emily: Ohh, its a bit small.
Chandler: Yeah, its a very large plane.
Ross: No! No, no, no, no, okay, it wasn't the swing's fault. It was my fault and kind of that (point to the kid that kicked him) kids fault. Who is still laughing. Nice.
Monica: Yknow, maybe its best that we never got to do it again.
Chandler: Its the theme from Good Will Humping.
(Hits the ball towards Chandler who returns it back to him. He then hits the ball at Monica who slams it and it bounces off Kara's leg.)
Monica: Doesnt it ever just freak you out that-that youre never gonna be with anybody new again?
Ross: I get it! Well, thats that.
Rachel: Okay, Pheebs, can I ask? So, hes going out with her. I mean, is it really so terrible?
Monica: Absolutely! (He goes to kiss her, but she stops him and rubs his head and says...) Now get out of here you!! (Pete leaves) (to the gang) Okay, Im running out of places I can touch him! Look, is there something wrong with me? I mean why am I only attracted to guys where theres no future? Either theyre too old, or theyre too young, and then theres Pete whos-whos crazy about me, and whos absolutely perfect for me, and theres like zip going on! I mean, seriously, does it sound like somethings wrong with me?!
Monica: So are you ever gonna tell whoever it is?
Ross: To London! Come to London. Please? Itll mean so much to me.
Ross: So, what? That's it?
Ross: That's it? You're not mad? I mean, it must've been terrible.
Phoebe: Mrs. Waltham. Hi. Its Phoebe again.
Joey: I know it sounds crazy, but Chandler this is (Goes and picks up the sandwich) the greatest sandwich in the world!
Monica: I'll do it!
(Ross bangs his fists together to tell Chandler off, like what was learned last season. Read about it here.)
Rachel: Oh come on Ross, weve done it before well do it again, itll be a nice way to bookend the pregnancy.
Rachel: But yknow what, if you think its gonna be okay well just work out a system. Yknow, itll be like college, Ill hang a hanger on the door and put a sign, "Come back later, Im gettin lucky." (Laughs.)
Rachel: Okay, you guys, just relax. (She goes over to open the door, and as she does, she says.) I doooo. (Sees that its Joshua, not Chandler that knocked on the door.)
Leader: Hi. And batting for Sarah, Ross Geller, 872. Although, it looks like you bought an awful lot of cookies yourself.
Frank: Umm, its a lollipop and a uh, a home pregnancy test.
Phoebe: Dont be so corny Ross, its not an after-school special. (She rides off and the camera pans down to reveal two shiny, silver training wheels firmly attached.)
Chandler: Yes, it does bother me! And I think it would bother a lot of people. Rachel, when you were going out with Ross, did it bother you when he flirted with other women?
Phoebe: Well, it felt French.
Rachel: Oh! Its you. (She stops doing the dishes.) Hi.
Ross: Uhh, okay, its uh, Emily and I, we decided to uh, to get married.
Rachel: I'm gonna do it.
Chandler: (thinking it over) Well, I did put a lot of thought in the tape. (They both run into the bedroom.)
Ross: Wait! It was my plan.
Richard: Well if it helps, it worked very well.
(Rachel picks up a newspaper and starts beating him with it.)
Ross: I told Emily to come. And I just need to y'know, talk to Rachel about it.
Rachel: Yeah, what's it about?
JOEY: You don't keep it over here on this table any more?
Ross: And, I dont know, if it starts to rain
Rachel: (looking up at the ceiling) God, Monica its on the ceiling.
Rachel: I know! I know, its such a huge, life-altering thing.
Carol: Ross? That opens my cervix. (He drops it in horror.)
Chandler: Forget it! Okay, Im not giving up the apartment.
Monica: No-no, Rachel, dont get it! He cant see us!
Joey: (entering) Hey. (Ross turns to see who it is, and seeing its Joey he just ignores him and turns back around.) Ross, I know youre pissed at me, but we have to talk about this.
Ross: Unreasonable? How about we have this conversation when one of you guys gets married! You have no idea what it takes to make a marriage work! All right, it's about compromise! Do you always like it? No! Do you do it? Yes! Because it's not all laughing, happy, candy in the sky, drinking coffee at Central Perk all the time! It's real life, okay? It's what grown-ups do! (He storms out.)
Monica: That's what it sounded like.